Monday Afternoon Links of Distraction

by | Sep 11, 2023 | Daily Links | 126 comments

I am wall-to-wall meetings today, so this is going to be even more distracted than usual. Although no particular ocular incidents to report. We took the kids to the zoo yesterday, the zoo declined to keep any of them, which I think is a travesty. My older two get so pissed off when I stop the zoo attendant and say I have two for the ape enclosure. The orangutans were not this entertaining. Like any good dad joke, it was a little stale the first time, but I keep deploying it.

CNN wants everyone to know that a black man is off the plantation walking around like a free man. What a poorly written hit piece.

That’s a lotta water.

Sounds like a floating good time. Unless you’re the tasty treats.

Seems like more of a wrasslin’ move than a bug.

 

I always liked this song.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

126 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    I’m sure they’ll be chucking small rodents in no time.

    • Brett L

      Are we talking about my kids or….

      • Common Tater

        There’s an ape for that.

  2. Robonerfherder

    While mankind may be making the globe hotter, the anomaly of 2023 cannot be explained with anthropogenic sources,

    TIPPING POINT!!!!!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Earth has questions.

  3. SDF-7

    That’s a lotta water.

    Dihydrogen monoxide strikes again… and if the author is right, that means we have 5 years of sanctimonious bitching about “hottest ever” to look forward to. Oh fucking joy.

    • Brett L

      One might infer that much more intense than normal tropical cyclone activity will make it less than 5 years, as that is one of the primary ways of migrating energy from the surface to the upper troposphere where it can escape.

      • Suthenboy

        “…much more intense than normal tropical cyclone activity …”
        I have heard that quite a bit. I usually ask for numbers, which they will not provide. Here are the numbers:
        https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/pastdec.shtml

      • WTF

        So, actually much less intense activity.
        What a shock.

  4. Common Tater

    CNN is late to the party. Democrats have being going on about Thomas for decades, and about how they own black people for well over a century.

    • Gustave Lytton

      They’re trying to supplant Thomas as an Uncle Tom with Thomas as a house nigger.

  5. SDF-7

    Sounds like a floating good time. Unless you’re the tasty treats.

    Maybe just let the man go out in the style he wants, assholes. Was it really hurting anyone?

  6. EvilSheldon

    Sounds like a floating good time. Unless you’re the tasty treats.

    This dude’s catching trafficking charges for an ounce and a half of blow and 40-50 hits of ket? That’s like a typical Midwestern frat party on a no-holiday weekend. Lame.

    • Brett L

      Right? $10M dollar yacht, $1500 worth of drugs. Obviously a BAD PERSON

      • Robonerfherder

        Are you saying his yacht to drug ratio is off?

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Well, he yacht to much better, and see, he will get drug off for this failure.

        Or, he should have invited Hunter.

    • DrOtto

      I don’t think ketamine is even scheduled, is it? I know of a vet (horse doctor, not “Thank you for your service” vet) who says regulations on it is nill and it regularly disappears from his inventory. Or so I have heard.

      • DrOtto

        Schedule III, I guess. Still, meh.

      • The Last American Hero

        Oh shit. I’ve been thanking the wrong people for 22 years.

  7. Rebel Scum

    What a poorly written hit piece.

    I’m surprised that they didn’t call him a “house negro.”

    • Suthenboy

      The left have done so many, many times.

  8. MikeS

    However, the judge said he had trouble reconciling the character painted by Brennan and the crimes Burke is charged with.

    Sullivan said: “The amount of cocaine is where the court has a tough time justifying or connecting the two versions of Mr. Burke.

    Yeah, hard to imagine why someone with stage four cancer might act out of character. 🙄 Idiot.

  9. Common Tater

    Striders, wirly gigs, all water bugs bite.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    When the National Museum of African American History and Culture opened in Washington in 2016, its organizers excluded any direct mention of Thomas in the exhibits. Various Black leaders have called Thomas an “Uncle Tom,” and the NAACP’s current president recently called Thomas “the worst thing” affirmative action created. It’s telling that Juan Williams, the journalist who was once one of Thomas’ most vocal defenders in the Black community, now says that Thomas must be sanctioned if the stories are true about how he allowed himself “to become captive of a far-right legal coterie.”

    Off with his head.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      Well, he is no Wise Latina!

  11. Rebel Scum

    Texas Toe-Biter

    Been wondering what Beto was up to.

    • Sean

      He’s a Texas Pillow Biter.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Texas window-licker.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    The Supreme Court’s press office did not respond to a request seeking comment from Thomas or the high court about the justice’s actions or his relationship to the Black community.

    I should hope not.

  13. R.J.

    I hate giant water bugs. Not mentioned in the article is that they can kill and eat small frogs, and even snakes. Nasty, nasty armed cockroaches. The bite is super painful. Here’s that loony bug bite guy getting stabbed by one, which injects digestive juices and starts to slurp on his toe.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjCAyo2Litw

    • Red Pill Matt

      My Texas home has a good amount of these “Texas toe biters.” Never had any issues with them biting anyone.

      I nuke ’em every couple years.

      • Swiss Servator

        Fear will keep the Toe-biters in line….fear of this Can of Bug Spray.

  14. Suthenboy

    1. Here’s why many Black people despise Clarence Thomas. (It’s not because he’s a conservative)

    I am not sure that Thomas is widely hated by blacks. As for the people that do hate him, yes, it is because he is a Conservative.

    2. I am tired of hearing about the global warming scam. What is obvious is that the people shoveling that horse shit and the people buying into it will not be having nuanced conversations nor convinced by any evidence or logic. Fuck ’em.

    3. Who? What? Who cares?

    4. A water bug. Too many people grow up in urban environments.

    • rhywun

      I am not sure that Thomas is widely hated by blacks.

      This. The U.S. extends beyond the liberal D.C. bubble. What a disgusting article, or at least the bits I skimmed before I noped out.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    He once quoted the 19th century abolitionist Frederick Douglass, who responded to the question of what the American people should do with Black people by saying, “Do nothing with us!… If the negro cannot stand on his own legs, let him fall also.”

    Horrifying.

    • Robonerfherder

      That was post-war Douglass, the bad Douglass.

      Much better he should be quoting that commie DuBois.

      • Suthenboy

        Thank you. I was trying to remember DuBois’ name

  16. Gustave Lytton

    I have to say Thomas is as fucking dumb and entitled as any other politician. You’d have to be delusional not to have seen this coming.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “He claims he’s a Black man that cares about Black people and Black causes, but every action that he has taken has done nothing but harm Black people,” she says.

    Not giving is taking.

    • Drake

      She says without examples.

    • Rat on a train

      I thought he voted to overturn Roe v Wade.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The numbers are quite staggering. 10% of the population but 1/3 of abortions. Simplistic analysis by RTL groups gives it as the black population would be 50% larger without Roe, but that ignores the jurisdictions that would have allowed legal abortion or the compounding effect over 50 years (2-4 generations).

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      Well, he didn’t reinstate slavery, that old Democrat institution.

  18. Rebel Scum

    You sure showed him.

    A group of about 20 gathered outside Credit Union 1 Amphitheatre in Tinley Park as part of a protest led by Revolution Club Chicago, a far-left group that calls for a revolution against capitalism.

    “Guess what Jason (Aldean)?,” said Rafael Kadaris from Berkeley, California, who came to Chicago for the protest. “We will try that in a small town. We will try that in a big city. And we will try it right in front of your concert.”

    About a dozen police officers surrounded the group as Leo Pargo, one of Revolution Club Chicago’s leaders, struck a lighter and set the flag on fire.

    • Rebel Scum

      Many notable figures in the Democratic Party have called out Aldean’s song.

      “This is an anthem that reminds me of stories of young men like Trayvon Martin, Ralph Yarl … Ahmaud Arbery who were killed by white vigilantes,” Democratic state Rep. Justin Jones of Tennessee said on CNN about the Aldean song.

      Tell me you are a dishonest race-baiter without telling me you are a dishonest raace-baiter.

      • Rebel Scum

        What is ‘proofreading’ actually? *sigh*

      • Robonerfherder

        Oh, so you’re saying that Trayvon et al were just like the rioters and looters in the cities?

      • Don escaped Texas

        Justin Jones

        what percentage of the problems in TN would you guess are caused by legislators from Oakland*?

        of course it’s none of my business who Nashville sends up to our lesser chamber, but here I sit tied to them nevertheless

        * narrator: not Oakland, TN, of course

      • EvilSheldon

        Serious answer – probably quite a few of them.

    • Sean

      That dude in the back was going for a ride.

      • Robonerfherder

        Maybe his last

      • Sean

        Wow

      • Robonerfherder

        Ow

    • SDF-7

      Aren’t anchors / tethers the first thing you set up for a tent in general, but especially one that size?

      And yeah… I’m not sure we ever saw the poor guy in the back in the blue shirt come down… bad enough the one in the back corner that looked like he fell 6 feet or so.

      • Robonerfherder

        Looked like a semi-permanent installation for a bar or restaurant. Probably bought it and paid the cheapest contractor they could find to set it up.

      • slumbrew

        China, so yes, every imaginable corner cut. And a couple you didn’t imagine.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      Maybe, just maybe, the story of wage slavery that is being presented is, in fact, complete bullshit, and something else was going on.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    All authentically black people vote Democrat.

  20. rhywun

    Holy shit, I have ESPN again. I’m OK with missing most of the U.S. Open, especially the boring 2nd week, but I’d be super pisseder than usual if I had to miss the Bills tonight.

    • Common Tater

      The Bills aren’t on regular ass TV in New York?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, why would they be?

      • Common Tater

        I think there are NFL rules that local games have to broadcast locally. There are also stupid blackout rules that other games can’t be broadcast in that game doesn’t sell enough tickets.

      • rhywun

        I think (?) the blackout rules are gone.

        But yes, in my experience every NYC market game is shown here.

      • Fatty Bolger

        There are, but the Bills are hundreds of miles away from NYC.

      • rhywun

        Not normally outside their market or on a Monday which is ESPN.

      • Common Tater

        So the Bills are too far from NYC? But they are playing the Jets.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I’d be super pisseder than usual if I had to miss the Bills tonight

      Charter was betting on that, and Disney blinked first. Disney conceded to including Disney Plus, ESPN Plus, and I think Hulu for all Charter cable tv subscribers.

      Pretty good article on it in the WSJ today. I don’t watch ESPN but found it interesting. Charter pretty much announced that cable tv is dead, barely profitable, and that they would shutdown their cable tv service to focus on internet instead if content producers don’t include streaming packages for cable tv customers.

      https://www.wsj.com/business/media/disney-charter-end-carriage-dispute-restoring-espn-other-channels-to-15-million-spectrum-households-6236560c

      • rhywun

        Payblocked but I need the details. ESPN+?! I used to have that until they doubled the price to 10 bucks a month. Which was not worth it on top of what I already pay.

      • rhywun

        when Disney releases its much-anticipated direct-to-consumer version of its ESPN cable channel

        I have no idea what this means.

        And dropping FXX? WTF for? That’s ridiculous.

      • Drake

        They all seem to spend a lot more time thinking about how to charge me more – and very little time creating entertainment worth watching.

      • rhywun

        charge me more

        Yeah at the end of the day none of this is aimed at anything other than that. And that includes the whole “cut the cord” nonsense.

      • rhywun

        Seems like they’re offering for free to “certain customers”.

        My takeaway seems to be that cable isn’t as dead as the media want it to be.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I dunno. I think the media has a strong interest in keeping the traditional medium for communications. Fox, CNN, MSBNC, etc. are done without a subsidized outlet. Similarly, major advertisers are all pseudo government behemoths, and I can’t imagine they’d prefer streaming to cable either.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Thomas must be sanctioned if the stories are true about how he allowed himself “to become captive of a far-right legal coterie.

    Pay no attention to those Supreme Court justices currently captives of far left legal theoreticians.

  22. SDF-7

    Animal opines about his journey to HH this year….

  23. Evan from Evansville

    Day 6 is going perfectly well. I missed my first outpatient group session by less than ten minutes. Not entirely my fault, but just clumsy timing.

    I am gonna write something for my sessions tomorrow. They are with the most important folk, but I only have 30 min w each. I need to learn to not be such a Chatty Cathy and streamline my words. I love doing it in writing, but I speak too fast.

    “My thoughts were so loud/ I couldn’t hear my mouth…”

    • Common Tater

      “This is Sage Blair.

      Her school “transitioned” her to a male without letting her grandparents/adoptive parents know and encouraged her to use the boys bathroom despite her getting rape threats.

      She had a psychotic breakdown, ran away, got kidnapped, and got raped and sex trafficked by multiple men.

      She was eventually rescued, but the public defender claimed that the parents weren’t “sufficiently affirming” of her Sage’s gender identity due to her grandfather/adoptive father calling her “she” when overcome with emotion, so the parents weren’t allowed to have her back.

      She got put in a boys juvenile facility since she was a “boy” and while there she was sexually assaulted again.

      She escaped the facility and was once again kidnapped, raped, starved, and tortured.

      Eventually she was rescued and reunited with her parents, but she has to go to tremendous amounts of therapy for the rest of her life.

      The grandparents/adoptive parents are now suing the Virginia school board where it originally started, the school counselors, and the public defender.

      It is absolutely insane that Sage had to suffer so much all because the school didn’t say anything to her parents in the beginning.”

      Is there another source on this? Not that I don’t believe it, but anyone can tweet anything.

      • B.P.

        If you scroll down at the link there’s video testimony from her grandmother at a legislative committee hearing laying it out in a bit more detail.

      • Robonerfherder

        The story has been going around for a few months.

        The school counselor had best be thankful it wasn’t my kid.

    • rhywun

      Senator Scott Wiener
      Forcing teachers to out trans kids to their parents is dangerous, inhumane & illegal. It’s a huge win that the court has put this awful policy on hold.

      This guy again. He is a serious fucking danger to society.

      • Common Tater

        He makes Anthony Wiener seem like a decent guy in comparison.

    • UnCivilServant

      We figure it’ll be the collapse of the current regime before anyone can touch it. Had the discussion this morning. Not sure if the mining will happen in this country, or the next.

      • sarcasmic

        I see that now.

      • The Other Kevin

        Which is ironic because Nevada is already full of mines, and nobody would notice.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nevermind all the nuclear craters.

      • SDF-7

        Sacred sites for the Children of Atom!

      • sarcasmic

        From what I read it would require a moving strip mine that would remove shitloads of material, wash the heavies out, and put it back. Like they do on Gold Rush times 10,000.

      • Derpetologist

        Write the following with instead of [ ]

        [href=”your url”]your displayed text[/href]

      • Gustave Lytton

        Whoa! Another missing person returned.

    • Drake

      Young empires just seem to explode on the historical scene, while old ones stagnate and wind down.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    This. The U.S. extends beyond the liberal D.C. bubble. What a disgusting article, or at least the bits I skimmed before I noped out.

    The “nobody I know” template is ubiquitous. I have been reading a bunch of “back to the office” articles and every one is written by somebody who makes absolutely no effort to get beyond his/her own specific circumstances. It’s like reading essays by seventh graders.

    I was reading something earlier about the UAW and their 32 hours work for 40 hours pay. The writer blabs on about “studies” showing increased satisfaction (no shit?) and productivity (really?) from “experiments” in the workplace, except he eventually lets the cat out of the bag and admits those studies involved office workers, not assembly line factory jobs.

    • Sensei

      except he eventually lets the cat out of the bag and admits those studies involved office workers, not assembly line factory jobs.

      You mean they aren’t the same?

      I’ve been back in the office over a year at this point. They write the checks. I get to quit if I don’t like it.

      It’s three days down from five. I’m calling it a win.

  25. Robonerfherder

    The orangutan has been the best part of my day.

    You ain’t got to go home, but you got to get the hell out of here.

  26. Derpetologist

    world’s fluffiest cat is also a fearsome predator:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgrV3_g9rYY

    Also, it kind of looks like a cross between Snarf, The Cowardly Lion, and an old wino.

    • Common Tater

      African black-footed cats are tiny and adorable. They can also leap six feet in the air and tear off your face.

  27. Rebel Scum

    “Stop saying we are doing what we are doing.”

    “To say that a section of the 14th Amendment is election interference and considering how to uphold the Constitution is election interference is un-American,” Griswold continued. “We know that the former president is a liar who will do everything he can to hold onto power.”

    Griswold said she intends to “see this litigation through,” and “it’s good for a court to weigh in” on the issue.

    It’s just a piece of paper anyway.

    “Section 3 of the 14th Amendment clearly lays out in very clear terms that if someone swears to uphold the Constitution, they are disqualified from holding office if they go and engage in insurrection, rebellion, or aid or comfort to the enemies of the Constitution,” she said.

    And Donald Trump incited an insurrection, and there are big constitutional questions around that provision as to whether he is disqualified from the Colorado ballot,” Griswold continued. “So, we’ll see this litigation through, and ultimately I think it’s important for a court to weigh in to provide guidance.”

    He also overfed my cat and turned me into a newt.

    • Ted S.

      By that logic, people like Kathy Hochul and the NM governor are engaging in insurrection by passing laws they know are unconstitutional.

      • Suthenboy

        ^this^

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        I was waiting for someone to say that.

  28. DEG

    Thomas’ story has taken on new meaning since ProPublica and other media outlets revealed he’s been the beneficiary of another type of assistance: The lavish lifestyle the justice has enjoyed over the last three decades has been bankrolled in part by wealthy White benefactors.

    I tapped out of the hit piece here.

    The retired surgeon whose party yacht was busted in Nantucket Harbor last week with guns, drugs and alleged prostitutes aboard has stage 4 terminal cancer and is not expected to live much longer, his attorney revealed.

    Scott Burke, 69, was described as a good citizen and a humanitarian who is living out his last days with late-stage cancer by defense attorney Henry Brennan.

    He’s just trying to enjoy his last days. He thought this was America.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      My Way aka The Loser’s Anthem.

  29. Rebel Scum

    Listen jack, we have to cut down all the trees to save the – uh – you know the thing.

    Joe Biden: There’s more carbon observed from the air into the Amazon region into the ground, the ground, than emitted in the entire United States on the same basis. Now, imagine if people go in and do what we did 100 and 50, 200 and 50 years ago and cut down the forest and start farming that area no longer have that great carbon sink. You know, it would be, it’s gonna, it would be a gigantic problem. So we should be going to areas, whether it’s in the Congo or other places as the G7 nations and of the wealthy G20 nations and providing the kind of infrastructure they need to be able to benefit. And guess what? In addition to helping the environment overall, and the only existential threat humanity faces, even more frightening than a nuclear war is global warming going above 1.5 degrees in the next 2010 years and be real trouble. There’s no way back from that.

    Since when is vegetation, which converts CO2 to O2, a carbon sink? And now the left wants to cut down the rainforest? I am confusion.

    • Drake

      Environmentalism is a crazy cult and has nothing to do with conservation.

    • Common Tater

      Vegetation is a carbon sink. (Although rainforests are carbon neutral.)

      • R.J.

        *sigh
        Pull my finger. I’ll give you some carbon.

      • DrOtto

        That’ll itch when it dries.

    • rhywun

      even more frightening than a nuclear war is global warming going above 1.5 degrees in the next 2010 years

      This person needs to seek help.

      • Robonerfherder

        We need help to be saved from him, if he truly believes that.

  30. Common Tater

    “The Biden administration has made a controversial deal with Iran to release $6 billion in frozen funds in exchange for the release of five American prisoners, on the 22nd anniversary of 9/11.

    The Biden administration has cleared the way for the release of five American citizens detained in Iran by issuing a blanket waiver for international banks to transfer $6 billion in frozen Iranian money from South Korea to Qatar without fear of U.S. sanctions ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12506245/US-makes-deal-Iran-swap-five-American-prisoners-6billion-frozen-funds.html

    • Robonerfherder

      Right as they seize an Iranian tanker with 1M barrels of oil on it.

      Some might call our foreign policy schizophrenic.

    • Robonerfherder

      No clinical trial, just manufacturing data.

  31. Tundra

    Hi Brett!

    Thanks for the lynx.

    That’s a lotta water.

    One of the best Substacks going – by far.

    I don’t recall hearing anything about Hunga Tonga. I wonder why?

    • Ted S.

      Because you weren’t paying attention to the news, and it happened far away? And, to be fair, the undersea eruption cut the undersea cables to Tonga, making it very difficult to get news out of the country for a while.

      I listen to international broadcaster podcasts, and there were certainly stories about the eruption from Radio Australia and Radio New Zealand

  32. Rebel Scum

    The gender-benders really hate women.

    Last week, the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights opened an investigation into New College of Florida, where I serve as a trustee, regarding alleged “disability discrimination.”

    The investigation was prompted by a complaint by ACLU attorney Jennifer Granick, alleging that the college’s trustees and administrators violated civil rights law by removing “gender neutral” signage from bathrooms, defunding the DEI and gender studies programs, and “misgendering” the former DEI director and a former student, who use “ze/zir” and “they/them” pseudo-pronouns, respectively. According to the complaint, these actions constitute discrimination “based on perceived disability and gender prejudice.”

  33. prolefeed

    CNN: A lot of Black people hate Clarence Thomas, for reasons other than him being conservative.

    Me: Name one.

    I know a lot of black people, who vent on the phone in my earshot. They would love him being on SCOTUS if his politics aligned with theirs.