“BOOBERT!” Fetterlump cried into the night. “BOOOOOBERT!”
“You should never have shown him that video!” Gisele said to his handlers, stamping her feet in anger.
“We were told it was OK for him to watch CNN!” one protested. He jammed a cattle prod into the small of Fetterlump’s lower back. The creature howled but went slack in his chains.
“Boobert,” he said sadly, quietly, over and over until the sedatives took him.
“Finally,” Hunter said from behind her, hands stealing around her waist and then rising to cup her breasts.
“Never in front of heem, Hon-tur,” she said, her accent thickening, as she pushed him off of her.
He backed away as she turned to him, glared, set her jaw.
“You are high,” she said.
“Always, baby,” Hunter said. “It’s my brand.”
“I told you we must stop,” Gisele said. “I feel so many eyes on me.”
“There is no stop,” Hunter said. “There is no end.”
“Hey!” he said out of the side of his mouth, voice high and squeaky, “What’s going on out there?”
“No, Hontur. You know I no think that funny.”
“What? Who doesn’t love Cracky? Cracky is everyone’s friend!” He reached into his navy blue yachting jacket.
Fetterlump groaned as his handlers lowered him onto his stinking mat on the floor.
“Hi, Miss Gisele!” Cracky said to the Senate widow.
“Hello, Cracky,” she said, defeated.
“Boobert,” the giant croaked.
“I just don’t have time for this today,” Gisele said as Hunter ground a glass stem into Cracky, filling it with flakes.
She took the glass stem. Cracky cheered. “I love you, Gisele,” he said happily.
“Thank you, Cracky,” she said, backing up to a chest of drawers out of John’s reach.
Hunter knelt down in front of her as she began heating the stem. He dug his ragged fingernails into the gusset of her pantyhose and ripped it apart.
She exhaled as cloud of gray smoke. “Not in front of heem, no,” she said weakly.
Hunter ignored her, moving the crotch of her panties aside and slipping his middle two fingers into her.
“No,” she said, “No,” but rocked and bucked as he stabbed his fingers into her.
“Oh, ah, hey,” a voice said loudly. “I, uh, see you’re busy.”
Hunter looked back. Fetterman was in the room, mostly, mostly Fetterman, but one with a huge, thick mustache.
“It es just John double,” Gisele moaned. “Having two of theem is useful.”
“Hunter Biden, damn glad to meet ya” Hunter said, turning quickly and offering his secretion-covered right hand.
Fetterfake froze while the Lump on the floored moaned piteously.
“It es just John double,” Gisele moaned. “Having two of theem is useful.”
She likes being spit roasted?
FAMILY. FRIENDLY.
So yes.
I had the Merrick Garland hearing on just now, and it’s a real toss-up between which is more disturbing, the hearing or this episode.
Don’t hold back. Who’s got 2 fingers inside old Merrick?
Obama.
It’s his whole hand, that’s how you make the motions of the puppet seem lifelike
It’s a whole hand.
Damnit, doctor Bob.
I dunno, the whole ‘Hunter/Fetterman cuck porn’ angle got me a little hot. If that ever happens while I’m watching Merrick Garland, someone please put me out of my misery…
The constant slurp slurp of the Dems has tipped the scales for me. Truly disgusting.
I’m dying here.
I’ll never see the mustachioed imposter and not think it now.
That got me as well.
“…secretion-covered right hand.” came in a close second.
Senate widows need love too.
Disgusting, but not any more disgusting than what passes for mainstream DC.
“I, uh, see you’re busy.”
Such a busy boy. I hope he hasn’t given up on Spokesperson Idiotchild.
“Hands up, don’t shoot.”
Funny as hell.
I do have a question about the yachting jacket, was that with the jockstrap and scarf, or was he actually wearing pants?
Also, today I learned what a yachting jacket is, I was at first picturing the jacket the caddie wore to the rich party in Caddyshack
Putting a blazer over the jockstrap is how he manages to get around in public.
Huh. Yeah, wasn’t what I thought either.
No, Caddyshack was what I was thinking too. I also had no idea there was a yachting jacket beyond a navy blue blazer.
What’s the pseudo-captain’s hat called like GRRM wears?
Fisherman’s cap.
Gay?
I thought there were three a’s in “gaaay.”
I was thinking Thurston Howell III
Between Fetterfake and the Biden double Tundra posted this morning… It’s all a bizarre dystopian kabuki theater play – and they take half my income and might start a nuclear war.
Meanwhile, down on the plantation
Activists are calling on the NAACP to take a hard look at the local Oakland branch. They claim the Oakland chapter is not aligned with the city’s values and it’s time to “break the silence.”
“The Oakland branch is currently using its position to hijack the legacy of the historic organization, and using it as a weapon – a weapon! – against their opposition,” says Doug Blacksher, a host of the Black Business Roundtable podcast and community activist.
Blacksher is one of the signatories of a letter sent to the national NAACP president about the Oakland branch. The letter states, “Our leadership is reverting to lies, fear-mongering and the ‘tough-on-crime’ rhetoric that has targeted African Americans throughout our entire history in this county, evoking stereotypical narratives of Black criminality.”
“Four hundred years. Now we have our own people part of that!” says Blacksher, who was one of five community members who took part in a news conference Tuesday morning, to address their concerns.
Race traitors!
Good. Let them devour each other in a giant feeding frenzy of righteousness.
What is crime like there? Who is committing these crimes?
I think someone here is as close to a race traitor as one can get but it isn’t who Blacksher claims it is.
More importantly to the NAACP, who are the victims of those crimes?
And now we have pirates in the Oakland estuary. So, yeah.
The muddled brain of a progressive in action. Double-down on everything that has turned your city to shit and then complain that your city is shit and the people who want to fix it are Megamagas.
Once you get away from activists and grifters (but I repeat myself), turns out that most people in minority communities want the police to enforce the laws.
This BTW is exactly what I was getting at this morning or yesterday or whenever with “we know how to solve urban problems but we can’t because the country is paralyzed with an obsession with racialist bullshit”.
The NAACP a weapon against its opposition? Why I never!
Hunter’s relentless cheerfulness is becoming one of my favorite parts of this universe.
Great episode, SF!
Yup, he’s almost wholesome in a world otherwise gray and cynical.
*Mind blown*
And what a delightful surprise when he pops out from behind the ficus – you know a good time is coming.
Does Fetterfake get jealous? How does Fetterfake get compensated?
He gets to include the job on his acting resume.
That’s what they told him, but really, like all body doubles, he gets a quietly Hillaried and buried in an unmarked building foundation.
Traditionally? His cage is unlocked and he’s allowed to…um, touch himself.
He was a homeless man they found, so he’s just grateful for a roof over his head and a steady supply of fentanyl.
The fentanyl serves the secondary purpose of keeping Fetterfake more lifelike.
They eventually become the mask?
Does anyone else think this ‘fetterfake’ stuff is a bit silly (in the real universe; in the joemala universe, it’s perfectly crommulent. The question is which universe is truly real? What does real even mean?)? In the picture at the bottom of the post, the four on the left look like the same person to me. The two on right at first glance, but that could just be facial hair and weight loss/gain. The nose looks the same; creases on the forehead match up. It’s fun I guess, but to me if not confined to the tongue in cheek, it makes one look a bit unbalance.
It’s like the Michelle Obama is a man thing. It’s fun to joke about, but it shouldn’t be taken seriously. That said, it’s more believable that there’s a double for Fetterman, but as you said, the nose looks the same in at least five of those pictures.
Who cares? The worst of all this is that people still pay any attention to Big Mike and that Lump is a goddamn senator.
that Lump is a goddamn senator for life.
If I weren’t a cheerful dude (like Hunter), this bullshit would seriously depress me.
Passes Cracky to Tundra.
Do you have a lucky crack pipe?
I did see a thing on Twitter (yes I know) from a sculptor who said that different cameras with different focal lengths will make a person look entirely different in photos. So he always works with a live model. Having done a lot of portraits and figure drawing I can confirm that.
I look at it as the Fetterman being taken exactly as serious as he deserves to be, which is not at all. He’s a laughingstock.
The picture in the upper right looks way too much like me with a porn stash. I think i even own the same glasses.
The lesson of the Fetterman pics is how much facial hair and weight can adjust your appearance.
You don’t even need a weight change.
A perfect example for me was actually from video games. In Red Dead Redemption 2, you can’t change the facial structure of Arthur Morgan, but you can change hair and beard styles. Once I’d decided on an appearance for my playthrough I stuck to it. Later on, seeing footage online using the default appearance I didn’t recognize the character at all because it was all “wrong” despite having the exact same underlying face.
There’s a reason futigive tracking often includes multiple images with altered beard and hair styles, given how much it impacts the profile and appearance.
Just finding someone the same build as him would a huge undertaking. Add to that similar age, facial features, and voice, and I think we can safely say it’s bullshit.
He’s just taking his PT. Starting to talk and move better. Still funny.
Do women still wear pantyhose?
No, it keeps getting ripped off.
In the 90’s, there was the trend of the Thigh High Nylons, and in the rockabilly community Fishnet Stockings are still a thing.
I was hoping for a very different set of videos.
Right?!? I am dissapoint.
I was working to keep our Family Friendly rating!
Gisele doesn’t anymore apparently.
Secure
Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro announced Tuesday — which is National Voter Registration Day — that the state will now automatically register residents to vote while getting their driver’s license or state I.D.
“I made a commitment when I was campaigning for this office that we would bring automatic voter registration to Pennsylvania and break down the barriers for legal eligible voters,” Shapiro said in a video posted on social media.
“This is a key step to make our elections more secure,” he said.
What would make elections truly secure is if they automatically recorded votes for the Democrats in your name unless you actively placed a vote for the Republican.
How does automatically enrolling everyone make it more secure?
If you
wouldn’t the lack of barriers make it less secure?
Or do I make my house more secure if I leave the door open?
You make it easier for the authorities to ‘secure’ it when you leave it unlocked.
Remember when they talk about transparency, they don’t mean that they should be transparent to you, but vice versa: that the people running the state should be able to see everything you do.
When they talk about election security they don’t mean that the elections will be honest and whomever wins according to the rules is declared the winner, but the opposite: that the election will have no unpleasant surprises for the people running the state.
I wouldn’t waste too much mental bandwidth parsing the garbage spewing out of a politician’s mouth when they seek to justify a policy. Their words are worthless and often full of lies.
…and now all mail in ballots will be addressed to “Resident.”
🙄
And shipped to the party headquarters so as to not get lost.
Interesting that he uses the word “secure”. I’ve heard it said that Democrats want as many people as possible to vote, and Republicans want to make sure voting is secure. Those are two opposing things, hence there will never be agreement. But this person is using Republican language to gaslight.
That’s kind of what Democrats do.
If they told the truth about their policies nobody would ever vote for them.
We have motor-voter registration like this in Florida, and it works fine. You do have to opt in, but that’s just a matter of saying “sure” to the clerk when they ask if you want to do it, which I’m guessing almost everybody does. I do not believe it makes voting any less secure, considering all the documentation you have to provide when getting a license.
And how, I wonder, do they confirm that those residents are eligible to vote? Non-citizens get driver’s licenses, too. As do convicted felons.
Here’s what you need for a driver’s license in PA. Seems pretty easy to determine if they are eligible to vote. I’m not sure if or how they are screening for felons, or if felons can vote in that state. I know that they did a crackdown in Florida on ineligible felons registering and voting, but I think it was only a couple dozen people that they caught.
The first must be your original Social Security card.
Or a replacement; since neither the wife nor I had our ORIGINAL cards. I wish I did, because it used to be emblazoned on the back NOT FOR USE AS IDENTIFICATION.
Since you get your registration when you get your DL/ID, surely that means you should present that same DL/ID in order to vote, right?
Cue the next Federal Investigation
Say what you will, Elon has stones.
What’s the point of having fuck you money if you never say fuck you?
I feel like this story actually fits well here in this post.
Danish artist who submitted blank canvases as ‘art’ ordered to repay museum
Jens Haaning was supposed to create works of art with the 530,000 Danish krone ($76,000) lent to him by a museum, but instead he took the money and ran in the name of art. Now, after almost two years of litigation, a Copenhagen court ruled on Monday that the artist must return nearly all of the cash.
https://www.cnn.com/style/jens-haaning-kunsten-take-money-run/index.html
I do respect the name of the art piece.
Would you prefer some happy trees?
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/minneapolis-gallery-selling-bob-ross-1st-work-from-joy-of-painting-for-10m/
I prefer them screaming.
I prefer them troubled
Troubled, much like my links
Was waiting for that.
truly troubled
One of the great, forgotten bands of grunge.
And their great singer Mark Lanegan died recently.
I saw them open for Soul Asylum.
Good show there.
He didn’t tell them that only the most sophisticated viewers would understand the deep meaning?
It’s not blank, it’s got spitballs on it just like Hunter’s masterpieces.
UPS says package delivered to “other”. Does not inspire me with confidence. Did ya get it?
This morning Suthen mentioned that our mainstream is legit mentally ill. This video just popped up, it’s a deep dive into that idea. I had to rewind a few times because it’s pretty heavy stuff.
https://twitter.com/realchrisrufo/status/1704521862888444022
Yeah, I watched it earlier and will also revisit. It definitely doesn’t fill me with hope.
That is exactly what I was getting at. A society infected with such a disorder, if you can say a society as a whole gets infected, exhibits the same dysfunctions as an individual. I am not quite half through the video but it occurs to me that I forgot to mention something important.
When an individual suffers a brain injury or from personality disorder it will have exponentially greater effect on their life as a whole compared to the severity of the illness/injury. This is because even a mild case will affect that person’s ability to make sound decisions. Poor decisions, as we have all seen, resound throughout all of a person’s life causing difficulties to accumulate, putting that person in a position where they are forced to make more poor decisions. It grows exponentially.
What we are seeing around us today in western culture is such a case, where bad decisions lead to ever worsening bad decisions.
I think we have seen this a number of times in the west. The Roman Empire, the Holy Roman Empire, European Aristocracy collapsing… etc.
I fear we are looking at a similar fate. Sadly the people causing this to happen cannot see what they are doing and will eventually sit atop a heap of ashes wondering how they got there and who, oh who, to blame for it.
Us. They’ll blame us for it.
If they aren’t already decorating lampposts, that is.
I was alluding to that with “…who, oh who…” tongue in cheek.
Of course they will blame us. That is one of the hallmarks of borderline disorder…everything wrong is always someone else’s fault… the icky people they hate so much. The hates stems from you not being screwy while they are..it must be your fault that they are crazy. You drove them to it.
I haven’t been paying attention to the Fetterfake story. I guess somebody conjured up a video clip in which he appeared to be conscious and coherent as opposed to his normal hypnotized-chicken state?
Yes. Way too coherent even while trying to act retarded. He also looks completely different, has different tattoos, and no sign of the lump.
He’s lost weight and the lump is snug as a bug in a rug under the hoodie. As for the coherence, maybe he had an Adderall before the interview. Looked like him to me though.
No rate hike today, but more hawkish forecasting than before.
I would have giggled all day if Jerome had stuck the knife even deeper into LaGarde this afternoon.
Even with all the pubic support there is such a stark difference between NASA and private space launches.
SpaceX launched its 67th rocket of the year on Tuesday night, a staggering total for the company and its workhorse booster, the Falcon 9. At this pace, a clip of one launch every four days, the company is likely to launch 90 or more rockets during this calendar year.
https://arstechnica.com/space/2023/09/spacex-breaks-another-booster-reuse-record-but-did-anyone-see-it/
NASA sucks.
And I say that as someone who grew up and still lives near them, knows engineers there, used to want to work for them, has participated in some GA research for them…
SpaceX all the way.
The media is on the job running interference for the Dems. https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2023/09/20/fact-check-rep-jordans-false-claims-about-trump-hunter-biden/
“Jordan claimed that Hunter Biden has himself admitted that he was unqualified for his former role on the board of directors of Ukrainian energy company Burisma Holdings.”
“It’s not true that Hunter Biden himself said he wasn’t qualified to sit on the Burisma board. In fact, Hunter Biden said in a 2019 interview with ABC News that ‘I was completely qualified to be on the board’ and defended his qualifications in detail. He did acknowledge, as Jordan said, that he would ‘probably not’ have been asked to be on the board if he was not a Biden.”
Well if Hunter says he was qualified, it must be true. It’s his word as a Biden.
He’s the smartest guy Joe knows!
He’s the smartest guy Joe knows!
Joe was in the Senate for 36 years. I rate this as true.
Someone spent a year digging into dirt on Russell Brand. They wouldn’t need more than a week to break open the Biden crime family.
“defended his qualifications in detail”
And much hilarity ensued? How could he possibly be qualified to sit on the board of any energy company, much less one where he doesn’t even speak the language?
What did he claim his qualifications were?
His #1 qualification is the last name of Biden. Number two is is father.
He used to ride the train a lot.
“We need a real go getter, a real go getter who’s really into smoking crack and banging prostitutes and I think I know just the guy. His qualifications in those areas are unassailable.”
-Burisma Board of Executives (presumably)
Taking what is written as fact – yeah, I know, I know, but for arguments sake. The ‘fact-check’ is in fact correct. If Jordan actually said the equivalent of “Hunter Biden admitted he was not qualified” whereas Hunter Biden actually said “I am qualified”, then the fact check is correct. There’s no value judgement about the truth of whether he truly was qualified there.
Of course the actual important point is that he admitted he would not have been on the board if he was not a Biden. The implication is obvious – he was offering value based on family connections to government officials. That’s the real story. But if Jordan actually said “Biden admitted he wasn’t qualified” he misspoke and provided cover for biased narrative formers …. ooops, I mean ‘fact checkers’ to gloss over the core of the issue and have focus all the attention on a little ‘gotcha’ moment.
He kept his campaign promise about voting. He certainly didn’t keep his promise of school choice. It’s OK, perpetual population decline suits Pennsylvania
How is it Wednesday?! Diving in….
It’s a doozy
Arkansas State Police settles PIT maneuver lawsuit which injured pregnant woman
https://www.kark.com/news/working4you/arkansas-state-police-settle-pit-maneuver-lawsuit-which-injured-pregnant-woman/?ipid=promo-link-block1
As part of the settlement, the ASP has had troopers undergo additional training after learning of the PIT maneuver used on Harper.
Doesn’t seemed to have worked well.
Arkansas State Police trooper retires after crashing into driver on I-40 ‘in error’ during pursuit
https://www.kark.com/news/state-news/arkansas-state-police-trooper-retires-after-crashing-into-driver-on-i-40-in-error-during-pursuit/
Our guy getting the party and cake decided to PIT the wrong white sedan. Naturally, the way this works is that Arkansas auto insurance and by extension its customers will be paying for this guy’s car as the state will almost certainly be claiming immunity.
Autopian conversation on the UAW strike. I was surprised that the comments really do not support the union. I remember how incredibly shrill the Jalopnik commentators were. Felt like reading Jacobian. Nice to know Autopian commenters are not even 25% supportive of the UAW. Ray of Sunshine?
https://www.theautopian.com/i-talked-with-uaw-workers-on-the-picket-line-in-front-of-the-ford-bronco-plant-heres-what-they-had-to-say/
Interesting as I noted editorials in the NYT and WP were not supportive either.
Only the Marxists seem enthused.
Only the Marxists seem enthused.
I have reached the point where I see “Marxist” as an essentially meaningless term, but Fain strikes me as a rabid no shit Communist labor agitator from the twenties. Maybe he’ll assassinate Biden when he goes to Detroit. I certainly wouldn’t get near him if I were Trump.
“This was never about Russel Brand
I wonder if the sheer panic of governments is actually a white pill.
Is it panic or is it the confidence to do it out in the open? I posit it’s the latter.
Unreal.
LOL
https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1704563500104958088
Oh, bravo!
“Former NZ PM Ardern Urges United Nations To ‘Crack Down On Free Speech As A Weapon Of War’”
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/former-nz-pm-ardean-urges-united-nations-crack-down-free-speech-weapon-war
Damnit, I knew she’d be back.
You’re right, they feel that they don’t even need to hide their totalitarian agenda.