EXT. DESTROYED WAREHOUSE-DAY
The warehouse where we last saw Gravity Man is a pile of rubble.
NARRATOR
When last we left our intrepid hero, Gravity Man, he was battling Anti-Gravity Man and the Red Spy gang. Out of pep, Gravity Man had been crushed by a warehouse. Let’s see how our sensational superhero survives this strife!
Margo runs into frame to the pile of rubble we had last seen Gravity Man Crushed by.
MARGO
No! Gravity Man! It can’t be! It just can’t be! Why God!? Why Him!?
While Margo sobs into her hands Gravity Man clods up behind her. Orbit Boy hits her in the head and reflexively for the rest of the scene she ducks when his orbit nears. Orbit Boy looks worse than ever.
GRAVITY MAN
You’ll smear your make-up with all this crying.
Margo turns to see him.
MARGO
Gravity Man! But, how? I saw the building collapse on you!
GRAVITY MAN
Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.
Gravity Man Pats Margo on the head, her hair sticking to his hand as he raises it up.
GRAVITY MAN (CONT’D)
Be a good little gal and run along home for the night to get your beauty sleep.
A smile comes to Margo’s Face.
MARGO
I will Gravity Man. I really will!
Margo runs off in delighted rapture, a large patch of her hair ripped out and still clings to Gravity Man’s hand. Gravity Man plants his hands on his hips and looks very happy with himself.
FADE OUT
INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN EDITOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Peerless and Margo stand in front of the desk of Metro City Metropolitan Editor Larry Dwight. Peerless looks weak and fatigued. Orbit Boy is emaciated and pale, large bruises jut out of his face.
NARRATOR
We now join Peerless Paladin, who we know is secretly Gravity Man, and Margo Mettlesome, petite girl reporter, in the office of Larry Dwight, the Editor-in-Chief of the Metro City Metropolitan Newspaper, as he gives them their biggest news assignment yet!
LARRY
Gravity Man! Gravity Man! Gravity Man! Don’t we write about anything important anymore? Instead of writing about good Progressive politics, you two are always writing about Gravity Man! Well I’m putting a stop to that! Today you’re covering the biggest story of the year! And it’s not about Gravity Man! It’s about a real hero, someone the people should look up to and idolize!
PEERLESS
Well, who is it Chief?
LARRY
I was just about to get to that before you interrupted me! Margo, why is Peerless always interrupting me? Don’t answer that! I don’t care!
MARGO
Well, who is it Chief?
LARRY
Peerless, you need to be more like pretty little Margo here, she asks the right questions. Or like your Cousin Buddy there, he never talks back to me. If you must know it just so happens to be our esteemed Progressive Governor.
PEERLESS
You mean Governor Graft?
LARRY
What other Governor do we have you nincompoop! Yes, Governor Graft. He is giving a speech today to announce his new government works program to fix the economy. And you two are covering it. He’s promised to clean up the mess created by his last government works program! After all, he’s only had 16 years to clean up the mess left by the last governor who slashed regulations and made too many of the wrong people wealthy.
PEERLESS
But why is this government works program a bigger story than the one we covered last month?
LARRY
Why?! Because this one will work!
MARGO
Really Peerless, you are slow on the uptake sometimes.
PEERLESS
But why will this one work when the others failed?
LARRY
Why?! You’re asking why it will work?! Of all the gall-blasted nonsense! Why?! Because it will! But, the real story is how it was designed. You see, this Public Works program was designed by a Mechanical Mind.
MUSIC STING. Peerless and Margo gasp.
PEERLESS and MARGO
A Mechanical mind?
LARRY
Yes, one of those new fangled computized counting machines. And you’ll never guessed who invented it.
MARGO
Who is it Chief?
LARRY
The newly reformed and very Progressive Dr. Leo Lobo.
PEERLESS
Dr. Lobo? Chief, you can’t be serious! Dr. Lobo is an arch-nemesis of Gravity Man!
LARRY
Gravity Man! There you go again about Gravity Man! This is the story and you’re going to cover it! And you’re going to make sure you cover it in a way that makes it sound like a good idea! Now I’m going to get out of my office!
Larry storms out.
MARGO
Peerless Paladin, sometimes I wonder if you believe in the narrative at all.
Peerless begins to faint but catches himself on the desk.
MARGO
You look like a house fell on you.
PEERLESS
You have no idea how close you are to the truth, Margo.
MARGO
Here, take a pep pill, I picked some more up from the druggist on my way in.
Margo pops a pill into Peerless’ mouth and he bounds to attention. Larry sheepishly enters the office.
LARRY (stammering)
I…I…meant to say that you, uh, you two should get out of my office…not me…so, uh, get…uh…go cover the…uh…
MARGO AND PEERLESS
Yes Chief.
EXT. GOVERNOR’S MANSION – DAY
Governor Graft stands behind a lectern at the top of the mansion steps. Behind him Dr. Lobo tinkers with a giant old style computer with bleeping and blooping lights. In the far back is a line of armed security guards. At the base of the stairs a throng of reporters; first and foremost Peerless and Margo. As orbit Boy orbits, Margo ducks without thinking, the other nearby reporters keep getting hit, random sounds of pain emanate from reporters and Orbit Boy.
GOVERNOR GRAFT
…so, in conclusion, as we are the party of science, this new Public Works program will be entirely run by the new computizing mechanical mind created by Dr. Lobo, to make sure it is run as scientifically as possible.
The reporters all cheer and clap. Governor Graft looks back at Lobo and the computer in fear, as though he is a hostage.
GOVERNOR GRAFT (CONT’D)
This…this means that…instead of basing job appointments on…political favoritism, they will be…judged on…merit.
Governor Graft begins crying. The thong of reporters gasp in astonishment.
MARGO
But Governor, how can THAT be scientific!? How can giving people jobs based on merit be anything other than..than anti-scientific!? What about the poor Negroes, they’re too dumb to be good at anything. We need to help lift them from the squalor of their racial incompetence! Not to say anything about those lazy Hispanics! How will they survive if we don’t help them!?
GOVERNOR GRAFT
I know that is the good progressive thing to do…but the science says…otherwise.
Governor Graft openly weeps. The crowd of reporters scream and yell, rotten fruit is thrown at Governor Graft.
PEERLESS
Governor Graft, Margo is right. If we don’t separate people into groups based on who their parents are, then how can we decide who to help? Why, by not uplifting those people you’re as bad as those governors in the south who let vigilante squads round up Negroes by the tens of thousands each day and lynch them! You see, a man shouldn’t be judged by the color of his skin or the church he belongs to, unless that judgment is paternalistic and treating them as inferior. These poor coloreds just don’t know any better than to be lazy and commit crime. That’s why we, the people, which is what government is supposed to be, need to take care of them, treat them like children. It’s the progressive thing to do, Governor.
The throng of reporters cheers.
GOVERNOR GRAFT
I wholeheartedly agree Mr. Paladin! It’s high time I stood up for these dreadful incompetent souls! This fiend, DR. Lobo, has black mailed me into this sick miscarriage of justice! I won’t let him hold my romances with young boys over my head any longer! It’s a beautiful and natural thing! I’m loud and I’m proud and I’m a Groomer! Guards, seize him!
The crowd of reporters cheers and rushes the steps to attack Dr. Lobo. The guards close in. In the mayhem Peerless slips away, to land at the top of the stairs while creating a large crater as Gravity Man.
GRAVITY MAN
Stop, noble reporters! I, Gravity Man, am here to protect not only our fragile democracy from the evil Dr. Lobo and the deadly insurrection coup he has attempted here today, but also to protect you from becoming as violent as the noble jews, blacks, hispanics and indians we are all so eager to protect. If we become no better than them, then who will be left to protect them from their own vile violent nature? This is the true science Dr. Lobo was attempting to hide from you.
The whole time Gravity Man was speaking, Orbit Boy’s limp unconscious body was continually smashed against Dr Lobo, who is now almost as battered and bruised as poor Orbit Boy. The crowd of reporters cheers at the end of Gravity Man’s speech. He then picks up Dr. Lobo’s limp body and clods off screen.
GRAVITY MAN
AWAY!
NARRATOR
Gee gang, that sure was a swell one! The next time you hear a hate monger say that any Black or Hispanic should be treated just the same as any of us white folks, make sure to let ’em know how racist they are. You see, these feeble races need our help, and to think otherwise is just so gosh-darn un-American that people who talk like that are just no better than Hitler. See you all next time boys and girls, and don’t forget to send any pep pills you steal from your parents to Gravity Man, 110 Cereal Company St., Cereal City, Michigan, 51111. Tune in next week for an ALL NEW ADVENTURE!
FADE TO BLACK
They said I was crazy
But I say I was just Firstd
Evil Dr. Lobo almost got away with that merit-based evil.
this mechanical mind is sipping Ardbeg 10, bitches
I’ve been mildly depressed the past week. Nothing serious just me and the dog while the missus and other animals ate far away.
Our household goods arrived today and while nothing really for me to cheer me up, our dog got ‘his’ blanket. I put that in quote cause it was a blanket we gave to teen #1 8 years ago and he always snuggled with the dog with it. To this day, our oldest dog seeks it out so my task was to dig through boxes to find it. I did.
https://ibb.co/Ws1y6Gx
I won’t try to fix you, and hope others don’t. Best of luck.
NewWife is having a mild case of Viking Affective Disorder after the clock change; it’ll pass.
After moving to north Texas, it took years for me to find ways to enjoy the land: it’s so bland, desperate, and desolate. Scrawny trees, ugly birds, and rivers that had no water in them left me in a funk, yearning for gentle, pretty, nourishing terrain. New work and comforts and bigger money made it worthwhile, and new friends and experiences got me busy and took my eye off the ugliness for 20 years. Obviously, very obviously, I don’t miss living in a million square mile parking lot.
Its more I miss my wife. Our auditory annoyance is good old boys firing off rounds on the farm. I can live with that. Nights? Crickets and frogs down by the creek with a smattering of laughter from neighbors enjoying a bonfire. The horror.
Crickets and frogs down by the creek
what county you in? I’ve got plenty of work that way next year
Northern KY, Boone County. The dog has gotten used to the crickets. He is adjusting to vehicle noise being replaced with other dogs and just people.
I remember now
Adorbs.
He is so happy. He has been sleeping in bed with me for a month. We just got that blanket today and he is already sleeping there. Its a connection between a boy and his dog and I aint that boy. Makes a dad wonder why so much dust is in the air.
Cleaning the house before the wife gets back?
She knows I will just live among the boxes. I will take out what I need cause well, I am a utilitarian at heart.
Awww…the comfort of a dependable ol’ blanket.
My favorite blanket as a kid was my dad’s camo blanket from Vietnam. It had ties on each corner and halfway along each side so it could be made into a tent, backpack, sleeping bag–whatever. That thing served me well through various childhood adventures.
Ah, the poncho liner. Also known as the woobie.
The (newer) marpat issue are nicer than the woodland camo ones. Still using them for blankets tonight.
I will preface this video by noting that:
1) Sugarfree inspired me to share it.
2) Turtles and tortoises are revered in Asia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvVMxFEpt9I
This is the kind of assholishness I appreciate. Well done, author.
+1
Nice work CPRM.
By reading between the lines I’m beginning to think the intrepid Gravity Man and Peerless are really the same person and Peerless is just a disguise used so people like Larry won’t catch on.
I’m not going to say anything though.
It’s pronounced “Mecha-nickel”.
I emailed a bunch of professors at the University of Florida an hour ago about my AI for chemistry idea. They must have liked it because there was a spike in hits on my blog articles I mentioned in the emails. I’m optimistic. Here’s the meat of the pitch I gave:
***
The use of AI for chemistry has been limited by a lack of training data. My project’s goal is to create a machine-readable dataset of various organic compounds including medicines, vitamins, hormones, and poisons. Once the dataset is complete, it will be used to train a neural net to tell if a novel molecule has medicinal value or not. Ideally, it could even give a probability of a molecule having medicinal value. The application of this is that it would allow chemists to quickly and cheaply determine if a given molecule is worth synthesizing.
***
I plan on including poisons because they are known to affect metabolism. With enough examples like the following, I could turn a neural net into a chemistry prediction machine.
vitamin C = C₆H₈O₆
histamine = C₅H₉N₃
strychnine = C₂₁H₂₂N₂O₂
fentanyl = C₂₂H₂₈N₂O
vitamin B6 = C₈H₁₁NO₃
testosterone = C₁₉H₂₈O₂
penicillin = C₁₆H₁₈N₂O₄S
epinephrine = C₉H₁₃NO₃
DDT = C₁₄H₉Cl₅
I suppose for the prototype, I could reduce the number of input nodes to 4: C, H, N, O. Maybe add ones for S, Cl, and Na later.
relevant music
https://youtu.be/we0vBoQfSjQ?si=r1dmMIoXlgan-ray&t=70
Young me watched that film for the first time when I was about 5. It’s stuck with me. Oh, how I love natural history museums. Come for the dinosaurs, stay for the chemistry.
A Mechanical Man for the mechanical mind?
I was hoping it would be a C & C song, and it was!
A hardware orchestra plays a Dire Straits song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHpVyArimR4
No wednesday zoomies?
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87821224358?pwd=eW55MTRDbDNtQkh2aHd3M1Nmenlzdz09
Negative.
That’s some romantic prose right there:
“a large patch of her hair ripped out and still clings to Gravity Man’s hand”
Welp, YouTube just nagged me about my ad blocker. *sigh*
I’m making a dictionary of comparative organic chemistry. It will contain a few hundred compounds at least, maybe one or two thousand. It will organize all the medicines, vitamins, hormones, nucleotides, amino acids, poisons, and pesticides. My hope is that by using the same methodology as comparative linguistics or anatomy, I will discover something that’s been overlooked.
I’m working on the vitamins to start and already found something interesting. Compounds containing C, H, and O are fat soluble and ones containing C, H, O, and N are water soluble. That’s not a big discovery, but it is intriguing. Fat takes the form of triglycerides which do not contain nitrogen. In chemistry, the rule is like dissolves like, so to dissolve something nitrogen, you need a solvent with nitrogen.
And when it is done, I shall celebrate with the same video I watched when I powered on my experimental oil-cooled computer for the first time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qNeGSJaQ9Q
My parents only gave me 2 rules for my science as a kid: no home-made explosives and no experiments on siblings or pets.
LOL, “Comic Sans” on the iPad.
That looks more like an imitation of Zapf Chancery to me.
Created by Hermann Zapf, who also gave us Palatino and Optima (used in the titles in the video).
That’s how it looked on my Fire tablet.
“Bleeping and blooping lights” just about slayed me.
Gonna be a nice day. Enjoy it, Glibs.
☕🌄🌞
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OoHGZFyMCHU
🎶🎶
Rock on.
Freezing rain here in southern NH.
Yay.
Heading to the gym anyways.
Mornin’ all.
Good morning all!
Today, the Sisters of Mercy with one of my favorite covers — Gimme Shelter.
It must be that Vision Thing.
Share and enjoy!
Good morning, Beau, DEG, Sean, and Ted’S’!
That is certainly a very different sounding “Gimme Shelter,” I’ll give it that!
Andrew Eldritch’s voice just brings that certain something to it.
But yes, I’ve been known to refer to this version as ‘Gimme Shelter on quaaludes.’ 😉
“Afghanistan Poppy Cultivations Down 95% In 2023, But…”
Methamphetamine production is way up
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/afghanistan-poppy-cultivations-down-95-2023
Even the Taliban is beholden to the law of unintended consequences it seems. On a side note, Astan with a meth problem sounds like a recipe for disaster-they’re highstrung enough as it is.
Good morning all!
Last night Mojeaux was bragging in her bacon sandwiches. My middle child would love you. She is a bacon fiend. Well, all meat, really. But particularly bacon.
As her teenage years have arrived, she has taken to making bacon as a snack. So 12 o’clock at night I will be drawn out by the smell of breakfast to find her in the kitchen cooking an entire pound of bacon.
A. Nobody gets to have $7 snacks.
B. Don’t cook grease-fire bait foods while the house sleeps.
I love having teens in my house. She takes “don’t get up in the middle of the night and start cooking” as a civil rights issue.
Same goes for “put your clothes in the hamper” and “put your clean laundry away” and “it’s your turn to clean the bathroom”.
Good morning, cyto!
Aren’t teenage girls fun? (I’m the youngest of three girls, spaced about three years apart. Pity my poor mother.) Of course, it could be worse – she could be a militant vegan demanding that NO ONE in the house eat bacon. 😒🥓
Yeah… that ain’t happening around here.
Although… market prices sometimes accomplish what no vegan could.
Teenagers are… teenagers. Mine are now twenty-somethings, but still retain some endearing teen qualities. The youngest Patzer processes laundry as follows: wash and (maybe) fold clothes, place in hamper. Remove clean clothes from hamper as needed, toss dirty clothes on floor. When hamper is empty, put dirty clothes in hamper and repeat.
I really can’t complain since this is what I did before Mrs. Patzer civilized me. Must be DNA.
It seems a perfectly cromulent process to me.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie!
Mornin’. I found out yesterday that $employer is giving us a day off tomorrow for Veterans Day. Next Friday is quarterly day off for “rest and recharging”. And Friday after Thanksgiving we are off. Lots of short weeks!
(((Early dismissal Fridays))) start tomorrow. But yeah always a good time of year when everyone is trying unload their remaining vacation days at the same time.
(((Early dismissal Fridays))). LOL.
On a more somber note, my manager just returned from “vacation”. In Tel Aviv these days they need to be within 90 seconds of shelter at all times, sirens go off several times a day. Can’t really go to the beach, a concert, or pretty much do anything. As much as I whine about things here I should count my blessings.
Nice! We follow the Federal Reserve’s holiday schedule, but they’re observing Veterans Day Saturday, and very few of our employees work Saturday. Thus all eligible employees were credited with eight extra “Floating Holiday” hours to use by year end. I’m using mine tomorrow.
I’m planning to work the day after Thanksgiving because I have no desire to go shopping then anyway.
I never got around to updating the dishwasher saga.
It was all resolved with only 1 more trip to Lowes. I needed to raise the feet, requiring a 3/16 socket. This requires an adapter, which I believe to be at my sister-in-law’s along with my big level, my corded drill, and my good adjustable wrenches…. all of which were needed for this project.
So the next morning (day 2 of my 1 hour project) I head off to Lowes in search of either a little adapter thingy, or better yet, a small ratchet which will fit better. Finding just a little adapter by itself proves elusive… so I check out the socket wrenches. Craftsman has a big display. And wow, they ain’t cheap. Even the little guys are pushing $30… just for the wrench, no sockets. Much searching later, I find where the Kobalt stuff is. Much smaller… less selection…. not noticeably cheaper either.
Some other old curmudgeon is looking through sets, desperate to find a 6mm socket. They seem to mostly stop at 8mm, but he can’t see the difference between 6 and 8 at that size. Neither can I… so I whip out my phone and take a picture and zoom in. Yup, the small set he has in hand stops at 8mm. We commiserate over the lack of “just sell me the one stupid socket for two bucks” as an option, since I ain’t getting my adapter either.
I am pondering my fate… do I really spend almost $30 on a ratchet when all I really need is a dinky adapter thingy?…. when I see a tiny craftsman set on sale, buried away in a different display down in the corner. It is a small ratchet with a set of small sockets.
And it is on sale for $19. Like 25% less than the identical ratchet alone.
Satisfied that I have won my trip to Lowes, I ponder the marketing genius of selling a set for less than the wrench alone.
Having the correct tool in hand, I make quick work of raising and leveling the machine. It still is off by half the width of a screw on the left, and nothing is going to change that. The cabinetry is just a smidgen too small and it isn’t perfectly straight.
So I have to customize the mounting brackets. I go to town with a pair of tin snips and some needle nose pliers and a hammer and I have 2 perfect fits. I get to use my new 18 volt bosch drill and impact driver to fasten them down, which is fun.
The wife was commuting to the doctor as I was attempting to fasten the skirt and button this project up. It was just a tiny bit too tight of a fit because of the tile job, so I was having to use a bit of persuasion while laying on the ground. The wife called 3 times while I was trying to get it buttoned up, so each time I had to start over lining up holes and prying with screwdrivers to get that last couple of millimeters.
The 4th call I just let it ring. By the time voice-mail picked up, it was finished.
Take that, you mechanical demon! I claim victory in the name of all Glibertarians!
It washes great. Last night it blasted the plastic straw from one of the kid’s water bottles right off of the rack spike and into the bottom where the heater melted it, waking us up with the smell of burning plastic. Perfect.
It is the fancy expensive model so it has internet. No, I don’t know why. I downloaded the app and went to configure it, which requires a QR code from the machine. After much searching I found it. On the side of the door. Which is next to the wall. So you can’t get the phone camera in there far enough away to scan it.
Much futzing later, I have taken an oblique photo of the sticker that is clear enough to read the needed numbers for manual entry.
A few minutes later, the washer is on my house network in the DMZ…. but the app fails to finish the setup and tells me to call customer support. Nothing will get it to start over or retry.
So, I can’t even imagine what a cell phone control for my dishwasher does, so I don’t think I need it. I don’t feel the need to sit on hold for some Indian guy to tell me to restart the machine.
But…. Moby Dick beckons. Do I cede defeat and leave this one detail of the setup unfinished? That seems unsatisfying.
The app says I can download a custom cycle. Why would I ever need to download a custom cycle to my machine? It even has a button on the machine to download and run the last cycle selected from the app? Why the hell would I need that??
Now I kinda need to know. It seems so stupid… but they have to have a reason for it…..
So what wins out? Defeating a demon and finishing the job? My laziness and the near certainty that I will never use this? Pr my curiosity as to what the hell it could possibly be for?
Holy. Shit.
My dishwasher has dementia and requires two starts. After the first, it runs for a few minutes then stops with a nice flashing blue light to let you know something is amiss. I then hit the cancel button and wait for the water to drain. Start up again, and it’s ll good.
I was thinking I should replace it, but you have talked me out of it. Thanks.
Well, now would be the time. Brandsmart has this $1,000 machine for $299 which is cheaper than a white Roper at the box store.
To add thirty or forty dollars to the price of the machine?
I can only SMDH – why would anybody want that shit?
Replacing a dishwasher:
1. Hire a contractor.
2. Make a drink and relax.
But then I wouldn’t have had content. You need content for clicks.
LOL
I can’t even read it on my phone. I will have to read it some other time on the big PC.
Good morning early birds!
I am not usually an early bird but I woke up short of breath (again). SPP2 of 88%. I’ve had a runny nose for 2 days but that’s it. I’m going to have to get a pulmonologist up here and figure out what my options are.
Hopefully a steady diet of Allegra will keep me from entering the cold/allergies to asthma cycle from recurring so often.
I did a nebulizer treatment so I’m breathing better, but now I’m all amped up from the albuterol. Sleep will be elusive.
Have a great day!