EXT. ALL THAT JAZZ NIGHT CLUB- NIGHT
A fancy night club with many white people in classy evening wear coming and going from the entrance, being shuffled to and fro in taxis and snazzy cars. Muffled Jazz music plays. A slow zoom to the entrance as the NARRATOR speaks.
NARRATOR
We now join Peerless Paladin, known to you and me as Gravity Man, and Margo Mettlesome, seductive girl report, as they enjoy a well deserved night on the town. Unknown to them, danger lurks in all the seedy dwellings where negro musicians congregate…
CROSSFADE TO INT.
INT. ALL THAT JAZZ NIGHT CLUB- NIGHT
Peerless and Margo sit at a table near the stage, enjoying cocktails. Most of Peerless’ drink floats into orbit as he tries to drink, splashing Orbit Boy, who looks worse than ever. As the liquid droplets near his mouth he wets his lips in anticipation. However, at that moment a waiter walks by, and instead of getting a drink, the waiter’s tray is pulled into orbit and smashes Orbit Boy in the face. On the stage, a five member jazz band plays, all the members cartoonishly racitstly depicted. As are all the waitstaff.
Margo is dressed in a sexy gown and Peerless wears a white suit coat, sucked tight to his body. He fidgets and bounces his knee.
MARGO
Oh, this negro band is fantastic, a real tribute to their people! Don’t you think Peerless?
PEERLESS
What? Uh…Yeah. Good music. Fine colored folks. Negroes are a fine people. And like people, they say and do things. Things that really matter, you?
His speech is frantic.
MARGO
I think you’ve over-done it with those Pep pills again Peerless. Here, have some milk of the poppy. It will even you out.
She hands him a small bottle with a dropper cap. He grabs it fiendishly. Instead of using the dropper he drinks it straight from the bottle. A few drops do float away into orbit, where Orbit does manage to get a few drops in his mouth and closes his eyes and drifts off.
MARGO
Peerless Paladin! You old so and so! You drank it all! Oh, I just can’t stay mad with this beautiful negro music playing. Their people do have some wonderful qualities, it’s just a shame how limited they are in their other faculties. The government really should do more to help these poor helpless souls.
Peerless is beginning to feel the effects of the opium. He looks at the band and they morph into horned demons.
The music gets louder and intensifies.
PEERLESS
Souls? Is that what they want? Good clean Christian souls? Is that what they are up to?
MARGO
What was that? I didn’t hear you.
Peerless looks at Margo, who appears to him as a radiant Romanesque goddess, her lovely breasts barely hidden by a toga. Birds circle her and chirp.
PEERLESS
You are radiant! And they want to take your soul! I won’t let them take your soul!
The music ends. The crowd cheers.
BAND LEADER
Why thankya. We’s gwonna be takin a fo minit break.
The band walks off stage, and begin mingling stage left.
MARGO
Oh, I just have to go and interview them for the Sunday Edition! The readers love an uplifting story of how the meager survive!
Margo runs off and joins the band. As she approaches one of the band members lights a joint and they begin passing it around.
PEERLESS
Marihauna! These reprobates are using Marihauna! The depraved monsters!
One of the band members passes the joint to Margo, who after feigning disinterest takes the joint, tokes and coughs.
PEERLESS
Corruption of innocence! The vile demons are out to destroy the life of a beautiful white girl by corrupting her with Marihuana! These are not the good ones! Not the good ones indeed! The heinous negro forcing drugs upon the sanctity and purity of a lovely white girl! Demons! This is a job for GRAVITY MAN!
Peerless tears off his clothes, revealing his Gravity Man costume. He pulls his mask out of the underoos and pulls it over his head. The clothes he had thrown away wrap themselves around Orbit Boy, who is still passed out enjoying the pleasures of the opium. Gravity Man clods over to Margo and the band.
GRAVITY MAN
Get away you vile creatures! I will not let you corrupt her whiteness with your filthy drugs!
MARGO
Gravity Man!? What goes on here?
GRAVITY MAN
I’ll tell you what Ms. Mettlesome! These Negroes are trying to corrupt you and every innocent white woman into joining their drug fueled life of crime!
MARGO
Gasp! They are?! I had no idea!
GRAVITY MAN
Do not fear! I am here to protect you!
Gravity Man pushes Margo out of the way, she crashes into a waiter and then the wall, where she slumps down in pain.
GRAVITY MAN
And now to deal with you devils!
Gravity Man grabs the unconscious Orbit Boy and throws him at one band member, when he bounces back to orbit he hits another. Gravity man grabs two more band members and smashes their heads together, he repeats this multiple times to shake them free from his hands. The Band Leader tries to flee, but is stuck running in place, being sucked in by the gravity.
GRAVITY MAN
And now to deal with you! The Great Satan!
Gravity Man punches the Band Leader and knocks him to the floor. Gravity Man strides above him and lowers himself to his knees and begins pulverizing the mans face, blood and viscera splash and orbit. Gravity Man stops, his chest heaving. During the fight the crowd had slowly encircled the action. Gravity Man now notices the onlookers.
GRAVITY MAN
These men, if you can even call them that, were trafficking in Marihuana. I put an end to that.
The crowd CHEERS. Margo runs up, her head bleeding.
MARGO
Oh, Gravity Man! You saved me! You saved me from Marihuana and the treacherous Negroes!
The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the full carnage.
NARRATOR
Remember gang, no good ever comes of using Negro drugs like Marihuana. Stick to good clean drugs like amphetamines and opiates. Keep sending those Pep pills and join us again next week for an all new adventure of Gravity Man!
Zoom Night Ahoy!
First. Verb. Noun. Adjective. Now a predicate? No, no you say. That’s not fucking possible. The Bro couldn’t go that far. He wouldn’t go that far.
Or would he?
First! That’s what’s not happening!
Needs moar adverbs.
Get your adverbs here
…
…
…
😯
Now would be the perfect time for Q to drop some tiddies and class up the joint.
“Stormfront presents…”
I keed, I keed! I enjoyed this.
It’s always the right time for Q links.
I miss the Glibfit links most of all.
The little kids smoked candy cigarettes before switching to Marlboros as teenagers. Then the minority pushers got ’em hooked on MJ. Who know where it’ll end up, homeless for sure.
/sarc
Good stuff, CPRM, a way to relax after a day of Sugarfree.
Heh I remember candy cigarettes. Haven’t seen them since I was an early teen.
As for the reefer, my pale college buddies hooked me on that.
My delinquent upper-middle-class childhood friends got me on the reefer.
So Vernor Vinge is kinda weird. I’m hoping he’s esoteric and not the secret godfather of weirdo furries I never knew about, because after the first couple chapters, seems like it could be the latter.
Tines? Enjoy a wonderful book.
Which book are you reading? He has a lot of glib-tastic stuff in many of his books. I really like “The Peace War” novel – followed by the short story “The Ungoverned” – and then the sequel novel “Marooned in Realtime”.
“He’s gone armadillo!”
Also…The Ungoverned is in his “Collected Stories” which also includes the first reference to one of the Tines – years before “A Fire Upon the Deep”.
Think I’ve picked up just about all his published fiction now.
/winter is coming
I got my snow blower pulled apart,: motor, blower, and chassis. I can’t find my set of drift pins, so I can’t reduce the chassis further (the chassis is the problem: the forward/reverse gears won’t engage because there is too much wear in the chassis side walls). I have a replacement chassis, but I seem to have lost my set of drifts. I cant get the roll pins out to move all the axles to the new , unworn chassis.
FML.
No drill bits to sacrifice as drift pins?
I have my tiller in the shop, getting a thorough inspection, fix all the oil/grease leaks. I want to be ready for next spring. Snow blower is ready, gassed and waiting.
sunshine
Today is Steve Irwin Day!
Take due notice thereof and govern yourselves accordingly.
And New Hampshire tells the DNC and Joe Biden to fuck off.
Faux Q linx:
https://www.barnorama.com/50-sexy-girls-with-huge-breasts/
That seems quite authentic.
I’m staying in LA tonight. This city is a shell of itself. I can’t believe how many closed restaurants there are.
So the Ukrainian guys that were supposed to investigate the oh so squeaky clean Biden family have been arrested for treason. Nothing to see here folks, just those damn dirty Russkies again!
https://www.businessinsider.com/ukraine-men-helped-trump-campaign-hunter-biden-charged-russian-treason-2023-11
“In the lead-up to the 2020 election, Trump relentlessly attacked Hunter Biden, baselessly accusing him of making “millions of dollars from China” and claiming he was corrupt, per the Times.” Um, he did make millions of dollars from China. I don’t think that’s even disputed.
I have no idea what any of that is going on about but I am familiar with that outlet and its habit of stating the opposite of the truth.
Random question…has anyone looked at the new Discover bank checking options? I talked to one of the guys at work (military) tonight who was recommending it – even over USAA or Navy Fed checking.
Per them, what’s the attraction?
I remain quite pleased with Schwab checking, mostly for the unlimited ATM fee reimbursements, so I don’t ever have to care about what ATM I use.
The no-fee overseas ATM withdrawals are nice, too – that’ll come in handy in London in a couple of weeks.
Discover looks to do 1% back – but on debit card transactions, which I don’t do.
Well of course not. British hookers want cash. Same as downtown.
Is that 20 pounds the bill, or her belly fat?
I’ll have to check with the wife, but I don’t think that’s on the tour schedule.
Although if I end up in the right cab… (according to some documentaries I’ve seen)
Now you’re getting it.
I’ve got the unlimited ATM stuff from USAA for years – zero fees. It sounded like Discover also had interest on the checking account – better than the Barclays Saving I have (>5%)- but I may be getting it mixed up with a Savings account variant.
I don’t think the checking has interest. The savings is high than some but don’t think it’s over 5%.
Wife switched over from a CU that she was fed up with and is much happier.
Any checking account that doesn’t make you pay fees and makes it easy and free to get cash from ATMs is good enough.
I’ve become a little soured on USAA. They’re coasting on their reputation, imo.
They can be so hot and cold. So far though nothing to make us leave them….yet
Seems like the USAA insurance premiums have really increased but OTOH I’ve had 2 claims in the last 2 years for snow damage that were quickly resolved.
You have a gift, CPRM. Poor Orbit Boy! Poor Negroes!
You know who you don’t see around here? Who I Firsted right the fuck out of here? That bum MikeS. Firsted him right to hell.
Fisting bums? Okay…
You sound like a guy itching for a First off, Gustave.
Bro is MikeS confirmed. Nobody except MikeS talks about MikeS. Thus you are MikeS and I’m MikeS. We’re MikeS.
I know MikeS. MikeS is my friend. Bro is not anywhere near to being MikeS.
Time to wake up Glibs!
🌄☕
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u04b4TQ6Fnk
🎶🎶
https://nationaltoday.com/have-a-party-with-your-bear-day/
Too far away to party with Tonio….
13 teens arrested in 1 day in Montgomery Co. in connection with carjackings, stolen cars
At least they weren’t out late on a school night.
“Police said five teens ran from the Kia and two of them were arrested. The other three got into a gray Infiniti with two other teens, according to police.
All five returned to the Calverton area shortly after and got out of the Infiniti to watch the arrest of the two teens who were initially taken into custody, according to police. Officers said they recognized the teens and arrested them.”
I had to laugh.
Good morning all!
Back with The Sisters of Mercy this morning.
First up, the anti-solipsism of When You Don’t See Me.
Then, an old friend, Lucretia My Reflection.
Share and enjoy!
Good morning, Beau, Stinky, Roat, Ted’S, and Sean!
The FCC passed Digital Equity rules yesterday:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/fcc-adopts-rules-to-eliminate-digital-discrimination-for-communities-with-poor-internet-access/ar-AA1jZq7v
Oh goody…does anything that refers to equity ever work out well?
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! How’s it all shakin’ out?
Mornin ‘. I am disappointed at the lack of Comic Sans in this post, although the content is hilarious, as usual.
There is a local FB group dedicated to getting rid of stuff. Something you don’t want any more? Post a PC and your phone#, make the arrangements with an interested party, leave the shit on your front porch to be picked up. Magic. Mrs. Patzer has acquired more than a few clothing items, but last week we hit the jackpot. We now own a hardcover copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare, which I shall dive into shortly.
Score!! 😃📖
Hey, we are living in a post-scarcity society, so any variation in supply is by definition due to discriminatory practices. Next up: the shocking lack of golf courses in urban America.
As always, the question is, work out well for who? I’m guessing that at least some members of the Grifter-American community will make out just fine.
Sounds like the vessel they will push net neutrality through with.
Yep. We are going from unbridled freedom of speech to ‘what is not expressly allowed is forbidden’.
After NN failed they tried forming the ministry of truth, now this.
Evil never sleeps.
When the internet was first coming to be I saw what huge opportunities it offered and what it could become. My God, the sum total of human knowledge available at the touch of a few buttons.
I should have known. It has turned into a feeding frenzy of cons, politicians, criminals(I repeat myself) and grifters of every stripe. We are drowning in an ocean of nincompoopery.
When people ask me why my favorite President is Coolidge I simply quote him: “Few people realize that 90% of their problems would disappear if they would just sit down and be still.”
Not only do most not understand that, they find it impossible to do.
Goddammit, just leave me the fuck alone. I dont fuck with them but they just cant help themselves.
Our Senate race will be epic, I need to load up on popcorn. I probably should start drinking again as well, given the available options.
https://apnews.com/article/senate-election-2024-new-jersey-tammy-murphy-8cd83c020eff83d8a1d5d9c57ff7c4a3
Grrl power, riding the coattails of her husband. Oy.
How has the state lasted this long without a female senator?!
How has the state lasted this long without a female senator?!
Why, we borrowed and borrowed, spending ourselves into bankruptcy. Electing a strong woman to the Senate will totally solve that little problem.
MN has 2 lady senators , NJ can have one or both
“Grrl power, riding the coattails of her husband.”
It’s practically a tradition at this point.
Morning all. Long work night. Many thanks to CPRM for his Wednesday labors!
Mornin ‘. +1 thanks to CPRM.
Long work night.
When do you get a break?