Week two the first time I went through some old movies reviewed a “new classic” so, we’ll do it again this time.
This is my review of XII West Brewing Zona Pilsner:
Bad Santa begins the way every Billy Bob Thornton movie should 
begin: with Billy Bob at a bar explaining to the audience via soliloquy why he hates himself and probably you. He plays Willy, an abrasive womanizer with a constant need for more booze, more bullshit, and more buttfucking. The three B’s. His partner is Marcus, a dwarf who is clearly the brains behind the entire operation. Marcus’ mail order wife, Lois, is the final cog in their machine in that she is tall enough, and sober enough to drive the getaway car. Their hustle is Willie gets a job as a mall Santa every year, with Marcus as an elf. They scope out where the cash for the mall is stored on site, and on Christmas Eve Willie performs his only marketable skill (safe cracking). Lois meanwhile goes in a five-finger discount shopping spree and they leave with all the cash on site and stolen merchandise before the security system notifies the police.
This year, they are hired at a mall in Phoenix. Its not really in Phoenix, as its filmed in California but we’ll run with it. Willie meets Thurman, a frizzy blond kid who might be retarded. His only purpose appears to move the plot along and put Willie further into the campy, sentimental character that every asshole in a Christmas movie turns into thanks to the power of Christmas.
What am I saying? That everyone begins and ends a despicable person in this movie in spite of Christmas voodoo is why I actually like it. Willie may be an asshole, but at least he’s an asshole that cares enough to put himself between Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office during Joe Arpaio’s reign of terror and a kid that might be retarded.
Other characters include Gin, played by the much beloved Bernie Mac in what I think is the last role he played before he died unexpectedly to circumstances not related to COVID, vaccines, fentanyl, or police brutality. As well as Sue, a bartender Willy meets that has a fetish for men dressed as Santa Claus. Played by Lauren Green who demonstrates for nearly two hours why nobody dating Rory in Gilmore Girls actually wanted to be around Rory. Nope, everyone wants quality time with her mom. Finally, the asshole that hosted World’s Wildest Police Videos makes a cameo as a one of Maricopa County’s finest.
So can this movie be made today? Its possible, since it came out only 20 years ago but a lot changed in 20 years. Since nobody uses cash or even shops at malls anymore, the hustle they run might have to be adjusted. Otherwise all the characters as cast can be placed in a number of situations that would still work. Not sure anyone in the cast can really by replaced by another, especially given how Billy Bob is typecast as a dirty, abrasive Texan in everything he is in, a testament to how perfect the cast really is for the movie. The wiki page goes through how many actors they floated for the film, none of which really sound all that appealing. Finally, a dwarf is involved and quite frankly Peter Dinklage has made it his personal crusade nobody under 48” will ever work in Hollywood again.
It was Michael Malice that quipped Die Hard is not a Christmas Movie just because it takes place during Christmas, just like Bad Santa isn’t an Arizona movie just because it takes places in Arizona.
Given Arizona has a bunch of western movies, the last ten minutes of a Dirty Harry movie, and Waiting to Exhale. No, Michael Malice is wrong, this is an Arizona movie even if it was clearly filmed in California. So this gets an Arizona beer: XII West (that is Roman numeral 12 in the logo, which confused the hell out of me too) makes what is seemingly a cross between the familiar German style, and its familiar Mexican immigrant counterpart. Not bad, but not remarkable, and I wouldn’t offer it with a lime. Its probably good for a non-threatening option at a Christmas party in this part of the country where it might actually get warm enough in December to want something to chug. Otherwise opt for the Winter Ale. XII West Brewing Zona Pilsner: 2.7/5
Was mexi spying on Zoom last night???? 😨
Sort of. I am actually an AI composite of Brett, Spud, and the Old Man.
Yikes!
I dont get to watch many movies like this. It isn’t Mrs. Suthenboy’s kind of humor. I love laughing at human frailties and foibles and at the absurd. She finds it depressing.
Good writeup Sharpie.
I’m watching it tonight. I don’t care how much my wife hates Billy Bob.
“Finally, a dwarf is involved and quite frankly Peter Dinklage has made it his personal crusade nobody under 48” will ever work in Hollywood again.”
CWALA
LOL
I liked it when it came out, but I’m not sure I’d bother to watch it again. Not sure why.
That beer sounds like something I might drink.
I own it, but haven’t watched in ages.
I need to rectify that.
XII West – an unkinked Dos Equis?
On the first pass, I thought it was brewed by the chairman of the CCP.
So did I. It had to look up the brewery to even figure out how to produce it.
Your not Gonna Shit Right for a Week
Or, someone’s been hitting the oxycontin.
Scoldy McBitchface sounds the alarm
Former Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo.) is warning that the United States is “sleepwalking into dictatorship,” saying that if former President Trump is reelected, it could mean the end of the republic.
“One of the things we see today is sort of a sleepwalking into dictatorship in the United States,” Cheney told CBS News’s John Dickerson.
I think that train has left the harbor, hon.
These bullshit screeds always remind me of the kid with his finger 1/2″ from your eye while he chants “I’m not touching you!”
Yes, that train indeed has left the harbor.
Did these opponents commit crimes, or is he just going to throw a bunch of bullshit charges at them in the hopes that some of them stick while bankrupting them with legal fees? If the former, then they should be prosecuted; if it’s the latter, well.
Well, them’s the new rules.
Reminds me of a meme I saw recently:
Of course they’re going to do it again. You didn’t hang them the first time, did you?
throw a bunch of bullshit charges at them
No fair, that’s what WE do!!! /the establishment & deep state
Bad Santa is a classic. I threw on a more appropriate for the kids classic last nite as the wife and boys had never seen it. Joe Dirt remains a hilarious comedy. It was Spade’s best role I’d say. I was talking comedies with a millennial that works at my wholesaler while waiting for an order to come in last week and we got talking about comedy movies. I could name a few from the early 2000’s (and the 70’s-90’s for him) but for the life of me could not think of one made in the last ten years. Dodgeball, Anchorman and Something About Mary are all closer to 20 years back. He agreed about the dirth of good comedy due to woke bullshit. He had seen and liked Blazing Saddles, so there is some hope for the yout of America.
Wasn’t The Bishop’s Wife on TCM yesterday?
I started watching The Thin Man films last night. Powell and Loy are just fantastic. Also, insomnia had me watching the 1963 version of The Old Dark House. It’s the only non television appearance of Tom Posten I’ve ever seen. Peter Bull as twin brothers, Casper and Jasper, was delightful.
Those classics from the 30s to, maybe the 50s, are just so much smarter than anything made today.
The Hayes code did A LOT to foster creativity. Restrictions and boundaries (e.g., the 120-minute movie “limit”) force you to be more creative than you would be otherwise.
I’d say you’re looking at survivorship bias. Crap or even mediocre movies from back then are gone. The best are what’s still played.
Plenty of great movies now, buried in a pile of junk. Ex Machina, for example, versus Mall Cop 3.
Fair point.
Sort of like the classic rock station. Even Led Zeppelin had a side B.
The local radio station replays old American Top 40 shows from the 70s and 80s. You can hear classics on their way up or down the chart surrounded by utter dreck. I hear some songs and wonder how the made it to the top 10 or top 15 even for a week.
90% of everything is crap.
The other 10% becomes our memories years later.
Sturgeon’s Law, natch.
Not seen those but I have found recently that Myrna Loy usually guarantees something good.
We got to talking about comedies as he mentioned the printer was giving them trouble and I made an Office Space reference. He had never seen it and I highly recommended it as I think it is hilarious. Comedy is probably the hardest genre to do a good job on, especially these days as most humor is off limits.
Office Space … segueing to The Office … segueing to Ghosts.
I haven’t seen The Office, but I understand it’s a takeoff a British comedy. Then, speaking of U.S. takeoffs of British comedies, and having watched both U.S. version and British version, the U.S. Ghosts is more lighthearted than the British version. If their version was supposed to be a comedy, then I guess I don’t get British humor because I thought it was dour with a pinch of hopelessness. I have to assume The Office was the same.
And that’s coming from someone who likes Absolutely Fabulous.
I’ve never watched either one, but I gather there’s now a spin-off(?) of the U.S. version of Ghosts called Ghosts U.K or such like. So the American version of the original British TV show now has a successor show set in Britain. 😕
I can’t remember if I’ve seen the British Office. I think I have. It’s probably more deadpan.
I prefer Parks & Rec – same guys took The Office and made it better.
Parks and Rec had the best libertarian character ever in a tv show in Ron Swanson and Aubrey Plaza was tremendous (and tremendously hot) in it. The episode with Fred Armisen as the South American dictator was one of my favs. We have an ongoing riff with the kids about his “straight to jail” monologue. We did it so much my youngest got highly pissed at us and still gets an angry look when we quote it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eiyfwZVAzGw&pp=ygUlc3RyYWlnaHQgdG8gamFpbCBwYXJrcyBhbmQgcmVjcmVhdGlvbg%3D%3D
There were A LOT of super good movies in the 90s and some in the 00s.
There was a ton of great stuff in the 90’s and 00’s. Since you mentioned British, Lock, Stock… has to be included among them. Sometime in the later 00’s Hollywood went all in on China. They no longer produce that much for a purely American audience, which is why you get all these damn superhero movies. That and the diversity uber alles has really been a huge detriment to good movies. I’m a pretty big movie buff, I love stuff made in every decade from the 1930’s up through the 00’s, but I really struggle to find anything in the last decade that I loved. There must be something but I can’t bring it to mind. It’s why my kids have been steeped in movies from the 80’s and 90’s.
I’ve said this before, but … I sat XX down to watch Kill Bill (fuck you, Jennifer Lawrence, and Pam Grier would like a word with you, too) when she was a freshman or something. She went to school as Beatrix for Halloween and EVERYBODY knew who she was. The was just 5 years ago.
It’s funny what movies people like and don’t like. Kill Bill is boring to me, and, even worse, nonsensical. I just can’t with things like that. Haven’t liked anything he has done since Jackie Brown. But I like things that most others think are bad, like Alien3.
Yeah, I try hard not to comment on de gustibus stuff – it’s just so pointless.
That said, I do not get the appeal of Kill Bill at all.
I may not have, either, if I hadn’t done time in martial arts and watching bad Chinese martial arts movies, and loved all the Easter eggs. That said, I’m a girl and it was a girl-driven movie and I liked that. XX did too.
We still make some good sci-fi & horror films but they are so overshadowed by all the superhero crap that they fail to make any impression with the public at large.
That gives me a glimmer of hope.
I have a soft spot for Joe Dirt and Tomcats due to the friend who introduced me to both of them. Dodgeball is a classic. We also had Mystery Men, Empire Records, Clerks, and Tao of Steve that were products of their time.
I know and like the rest but haven’t seen Tomcats or Mystery Men. I’ll have to put them on the list.
Tomcats isn’t great, but it’s of the time period.
Mystery Men is probably one of the best early super hero movies, as it was already a spoof (but based on a real comic).
Buying The Cow is under-watched.
Likewise, Napoleon Dynamite was a 2004 movie. That could probably get made today (kids couldn’t have afforded smart phones anyway) but I’m not sure it would find the same size audience. My husband didn’t understand why it was funny. It’s one of those IYKYK movies that crossed some cultural lines.
My 8,10, and 12 year olds all dug Napoleon Dynamite. Good one from the early 00’s. Lafonda was my fav character in that.
I dunno how much you could appreciate it unless you grew up in a small town. It was just bang on for that vibe.
I didn’t grow up in a small town (neither did my husband), but it’s a very Mormon movie (hence, “if you know, you know”). However, the fanbase is MUCH bigger than Mormons, so there’s some other magic working there. Small town. Awkward kid vibe. And then Napoleon determined to be himself without regard to outside pressure/other people’s opinions.
Raising Arizona?
Razing Arizona.
Now there is an all time great comedy.
I forgot that one, shame on me.
Not bad, but not remarkable, and I wouldn’t offer it with a lime. Its probably good for a non-threatening option at a Christmas party in this part of the country where it might actually get warm enough in December to want something to chug.
Sounds like a pass from me.
You wouldn’t like the desert. Too many golfers.
Damn. I think there’s too many here.
Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade.
Mmm hmmm.
Glibertarians.com be funny. Not funny haha, funny queer. mmmmmm hmmmm.
I started watching The Thin Man films last night. Powell and Loy are just fantastic.
Those movies are awesome.
The volume of drinking done the protagonists was somewhat shocking. I loved it.
And I recall some remarkably casual gun handling.
It’s been awhile. I need to rewatch.
Myrna Loy, the next morning: What hit me?
William Powell: The sixth martini.
🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸
To my mind, The Office is right up there with All In The Family as rare examples of US adaptations that are better than the the British originals.
I can’t stand The Office. I got tired of waiting for the goofy guy with the butt cut to hang himself.
I’m with you. Maybe someday I’ll see if the English version was better.
I’ve seen it, it’s not any better.
The Office is an immediate turn the TV off lest that shit spreads. I hate, hate, hate the boss guy so much. Not funny.
Ditto. And the same for ‘Dwight Shrute’, who can die endlessly in fires. I have to force myself to watch the actor in other roles; he’s just that off-putting.
Michael can be amusing, he does have some redeeming qualities. Dwight is just an asshole – I have no idea how that character made it past the review phase. The rest of the characters are ciphers.
Dwight doesn’t bother me, but Michael is a Hard No.
I think Veep and Shameless might be able to sit there as well.
Re Shameless. I’ve lost my taste for bleak. I blame menopause (no, for real, I do).
Shameless was good for the first couple of seasons, and went downhill. But I’ll stand up for the first three seasons.
For me it depends on why things are bleak. I just started a rewatch of Mr. Robot, which is pretty damned bleak, but it’s so well written that it all clicks for me.
I loved season 1 even though it was so hackneyed.
Lost all interest a couple episodes into season 2.
Shameless but not the movie:
I missing 1520 Main’s installment last night as I was out. I read it this afternoon. Marina got off lighter than I thought she would. I didn’t see Gio and Dot rekindling their affair.
The next chapter is Trey’s point of view.
There’s not much he can do to her to punish her, which it wouldn’t occur to him to do anyway. He can’t very well give her the money, car, and freedom that women of her station don’t get, then punish her for using it; treat her like an equal, mix her up in his business (cooking the books), teach her how to shoot to protect herself (this happens off screen), tell her he wants her to go to law school, and then lower the hammer to shelter her.
Billy Bob was pretty good in Bandits, which was a pretty good movie.
Billy Bob in Tombstone, classic
A Christmas Story is a Cleveland movie even if it’s set Indiana.
My Ma regarded it as a Cleveland movie. Higbees was even in it!!
The leg lamps are nearly a requirement at every bar this time of year.
“It’s a major award!”
Back in SC, connected, showered, propaned, Burger Kinged. Now time for some mary jew wanna
Woot! I know you were stressing. Glad it came together.
The devil’s lettuce is legal in SC now? My, my how times have changed.
Yeah, definitely 100% super legal
Complete and utter malignant narcissist. With “friends” like Bubba Wallace…
https://apnews.com/article/bubba-wallace-mental-health-blaney-nascar-66a63863857165f138a79bc742954bd2
Wallace was wallowing in disappointment despite having just finished his own career-best season.
He took to social media with a note titled “Life” and tried to explain his emotions and why he’d flown home for five hours in silence.
Who gives a shit?
He’s a narcissist, so he thinks everyone cares
I started rooting for him to wreck ever since he cashed in his race chips on the noose thing. He could have shut it down in a heartbeat, but no . . . .
He is 100% the Jussie Smollet of NASCAR. He pings ALL the narc traits.
Any movie with Fred Astaire and Edward Everett Horton is better than anything made in the last twenty years.
I just started a rewatch of Mr. Robot, which is pretty damned bleak, but it’s so well written that it all clicks for me.
I couldn’t make it through the first fifteen minutes of the first episode. I have been told I should give it another try.
It’s a fun watch, but be warned it’s a hash of several stories you’ve seen before.
I enjoyed it mainly for “mood” and the acting.
Depending on the series, I’ll ask for x number of episodes before you decide if you want to watch it or not. Mr. Robot is firmly in the one episode. If you’re not interested by the end of the first episode, tap out.
“Michael Malice is wrong”
So, MS is really Tom Woods? (despite his claim of being an AI combo)
Check out my new e-book: Your Facebook friends is wrong about IPA
The trailer for the Fallout
TVStreaming show came out. May we finally get a game adaptation that isn’t shit?Haven’t seen it, but I’ve seen a lot of people going “If this is supposedly canon – why do you have so many things that violate canon?”
Watched it and I agree with the online assessment – this looks more like the East Coast than the LA of 2297.
In fact, if it were the East Coast, that would fix all of the lore issues raised by the community. You’d have the stronger BoS presense, the Pridwyn, no NCR, and that scene in Megaton would not be out of place.
The canon nerds can never be satisfied unless it tracks their best play through. Don’t care. Is it a good show or not on its own merits?
I’ll give it a go.
Given that it’s Amazon Studios, I’ll give it a miss.
And the reason the Canon got brought up was because Todd “It Just Works” Howard said it was canon to the games. Since his name was plastered across that trailer, his statement made the Canon question an issue.
Two of the red flags that are still bugging me – the voice of the designated protagonist woman, and the attempt at ‘humor’ with the one-eyed guy’s coffee cup. They just reek of the river of hollywood shit that has been flowing for some time now.
Those don’t sound like canon issues, but “is it good on its own merits” issues.
The canon issues are the lack of NCR, the charactarization of the Brotherhood of Steel, the cloned Prydwin on the west coast, and the cloned Megaton on the west coast.
The two red flag I mention are the ‘this is hollywood shit’ issues.
Those sound like fair points.
I’ll give this to the canon nerds: at some point, a show has a sufficiently attenuated relationship to the original (book, video game, whatever) that its just pirating the brand. And I get the irritation of having a show depart too far from the original book (never been annoyed about a video game).
You do have to accept, though, that a movie or series is a different medium, and changes have to be made. OK, a faction is absent in the show – does it leave a plot hole? Does it impair the quality of the show? I get that, at some point, the absence of something in the original is just too much, but c’mon, man. That gap between that point and a problem with the show itself is not very big, IMO.
The problem with the NCR missing is that they controlled the west coast out to the Hoover Dam across several installments, while the Brotherhood was virtually extinct. Not mentioning the Shi or the Khans, no big deal, little factions easily not involved.
The biggest faction in the region? When you’re supposed to be in the same continuity?
/slowly raises hand
I don’t need it to track with even a single of my play throughs, but I need it to make sense with the timeline.
/looks at Fallout 3
The first Mortal Kombat movie wasn’t terrible.
The animated Street Fighter movies were okay as well.
There was only one that I remember; but, yes, that was good as well.
The first Resident Evil movie also did have a topless Milla Jovovich, which does help it out a lot.
You are correct, I could a sworn there were two but it looks like the pulled a Traveling Wilburys on me.
They did cheat a bit with the name Street Fighter 2, especially since nearly no one remembers the first Street Fighter video game.
Beautiful woman but up top?
Pass
I dunno the whole Brotherhood of the Steel being law and order is odd…they are putting well known landmarks from games in the show rather than expanding….we will see I guess
And Walter Goggins as basically a ghoul Justified Raylen Jennings is gonna be interesting.
Nap time with the plinky plunky rain on the roof….zzzzzzzz
Rain on a metal roof is something special.
Damn, the euphemisms get more creative every day.
Puffy medium sized snowflakes in the air. It must be winter or something.
My Jeep got stuck in the yard trying to put it in the garage. 4 Low, locked differential, and traction boards got me unstuck. Our snow the past few days is getting slick.
I think it’s time for some new tires.
“4 Low, locked differential, and traction boards got me unstuck.”
See, that’s how you euphemism.
“Well, I had to bump start ‘er, get her up to speed, and then pop the cutch. After that you can rider her around the block a few times, keep the charge up, make sure she’s ready. But, if you run low on fuel, she will catch up to you, make you own that clutch work. She will start dieseling on your glow plug, and then, just when you think you got her ready again, she will stall out.”
Hawt,
Reminds me of my first wife. Sure, she [redacted), but [redacted], and then [redacted]].
Bayern München had to postpone their game because the region got so much snow that people wouldn’t have been able to get to the stadium.
Nothin’ here.
Just walked over to a little fest that was supposed to have ice sculptures; well it was 50 degrees so yeah, no.
Haven’t seen Bad Santa. Might give it a whirl!
The guy I had to fire yesterday lit my phone up with several additional text messages today.
Among them:
I am kind wishing we had a security guard.
Carry
It’s against company policy, but this guy is nuts.
Let HR know. Unless answering the “why did he have your personal cell number” is awkward to answer.
I’m guessing company phone is why the number is known.
Yeah, I forwarded all the screen shots to HR.
And all my underlings have my cell phone number for emergencies.
On the bright side, it’s not your secret boyfriend who went off the deep end.
Yep. He’s quite sane.
Cool stuff
I love this movie so much. Mr. Riven fully dislikes it. He doesn’t see what I enjoy about it at all xD Too bad the beer wasn’t better. Next time.
On the flight home from Tejas today, I saw this was an option.
The Beanie Bubble
The trailer seemed compelling enough that I may watch tonight.
My prediction? Pain.
(and shenanigans and possibly Hype-style sliding-under-the-table)
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87821224358?pwd=eW55MTRDbDNtQkh2aHd3M1Nmenlzdz09
Hello? Anyone there?
You know that shizz doesn’t get kicking til 8 at the earliest!
8 is too late
It’s rocking now!
Hello, all y’all. Happy 70th to Mama Ev. Kinda doubt anyone’s ’round.
Bad Santa is (in its own way) similar to Zombieland. It’s a fun, over-the-top on every level, fun flick… but one that also manages to have a point. I’d put Scrooged up there as well, though I need to rewatch that one again. Damn, I love that flick.
My new (“Counselor”) baby-sitting gig is silly-as-fuck as well, but it also serves my short-term purposes quite well. I shall think about how I can push things in my direction. It should be quite easy, though I will have to make a slight character (I play professionally) adjustment.
Happy 70th to mamma EV!
Happy birthday to Mamma Electric Vehicle indeed.
HA! I’ve been meaning to comment on that. I DETEST “EV” being short for something else now. And so common!
It makes finding my name much harder in searches…
I hate when people use the word “rhythm” here.
*Knowing nod*
Because you as a middle-aged white guy don’t have any? :-p
Oh, I have rhythm.
Sorry, electron-volt from Evansville.
Thats better. I feel jolly as fuck right now.