If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)
What I’m currently reading:
I haven’t been around much lately, work has kept me busy, but it has been 2 years since I decided to go through a year of The Daily Stoic, and then go through some books and lessons from some of the original Stoic teachers.
While sometimes I suck at life, I am pretty happy with the progress I have made.
Last spring I pulled the dash out of my old truck to fix a leaky heater core and replace the dash which was crumbling and basically exploded when I put a screwdriver to it.
Pretty sure that a couple of years ago, I would have lost my mind, but now, it only made me laugh. It did hurt that I had to buy a new lower dash as well because of Dodge’s crappy plastic, but I don’t think I got angry once.
Irritated, yes, but not angry, and I never smashed it like I was tempted to.
I still have challenges, talking to my mom is one that I haven’t figured out yet. I have learned to change the subject, and that does seem to be helping.
The worst blow I had to deal with was losing my dog when he got sick out of nowhere at 5 years old. That experience showed me that I am not as good at controlling grief as I thought I would be.
I handled it fairly well and did not allow myself to wallow in grief, but it took a lot longer than I expected to not feel broken.
Life with the puppy is going well, but I do need to do a better job of training him. He is 6 months old and weighs about 50 pounds.
The major area where I am lacking is staying consistent with a working out schedule. I will do good job at it for a few months and then stop and every time it takes me longer before I get back to it.
I tell myself that I want to be in shape and I hate the fact I feel fat, yet I do nothing.
“First tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, then do what you have to do. For in nearly every pursuit we see this to be the case. Those in athletic pursuit first choose the sport they want, and then do that work.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.23.1–2a
“If you are defeated once and tell yourself you will overcome, but carry on as before, know in the end you’ll be so ill and weakened that eventually you won’t even notice your mistake and will begin to rationalize your behavior.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.18.31
These are a couple quotes to remind me of the fact that this shortcoming is 100% in my control and it is my choices, not some external force that is keeping me from working out on a regular basis.
Now I have some questions for the Glibs.
Should I continue to write this series?
Does anyone feel it has helped them?
If I do continue(I think I will do it for me, and having to post here helps me to stay disciplined), should I try a different format?
Or maybe go through the Daily Stoic again, but with deeper understanding of Stoicism than I had last time?
Are there any suggestions for other books I should go through, or philosophers to review?
Music this week is from Poor Man’s Poison.
Maybe spend more time walking the puppy? At least keep some activity going for both of you?
I’m not good at this, I’m still a fat bastard, but I do find I’m more reliable if someone else is expecting something from me than if I’m expecting it from myself. Maybe it’ll help to be doing it for the benefit of the puppy?
My goal is to be able to take him running once he is a year old.
I never had a problem with wanting to workout in the Marines, but now that I’m retired from that, I have no external motivation.
I just need to decide to do it and then do it.
Yes.
I’m already the best version of me.
Everything is better with tits.
*shrug*
*shrug*
When did you get your implants?
I don’t want to see you with tits.
I gotta say, I admire your discipline at doing this week in week out for two years. That is my challenge in writing, it’s streaky – I can get going but when I stop, who knows how long before I knock something out. Do this for yourself first – if you have had enough, then take a break; the rest of us aren’t the prime consideration. I’ve definitely enjoyed the exposure to Stoicism, even if I know I’ve got a bit more interest in Skepticism (Pyrrhonian in particular).
exactly
and thanks to all who write or comment: on its worst day, Glibs dot com is easily the best place online I’ve ever found
I disagree.
They haven’t kicked me out. What sort of classy joint would have me for a member?
FFS, we have ‘sloper and Hyperbole to kick out before getting around to the average Glib.
we* of the tenth decile are the Maginot Line: the ablative mass that must be melted away before the whittling on normies can begin
* speaking only for myself
normies
Relatively speaking, of course.
I’m in a better place this year than last year, financially, familially, and emotionally. I am so happy I decided to go to therapy. It totally has helped me stop punishing myself for stupid shit I did years ago.
For those of you who need to talk to somebody, but don’t want to “go to therapy,” do it anyway.
do it anyway
Because you never know; I was so sad after my first year in Texas that I went. Guy listened for an hour and then told me to get out and stay out, he had people with real problems to see.
Adjustment Disorder.
I take it you didn’t try again elsewhere.
why adjust to something you don’t want? it wasn’t my San Diego: it was her San Diego
FirstWife and I went during the divorce; it was great: one day a week when she had to fight fair
I do blame myself for taking so long to repatriate to a place with trees over four foot tall and rivers that you can’t take a nap in eleven months out of the year
I don’t know why the term; means situational depression a/o excessive stress.
I don’t trust that any mental health professional in my state wouldn’t red flag me and start a spiral of legal shit that would make things worse. The impact of such an outcome makes the risk not worth the potential other outcomes.
I blame the law.
I blame the law
we’ll make a libertarian out of you yet….or someone will…or some pile of someones will…or some pile of laws will
Doubt it.
My social conservative convictions are part of who I am.
Social conservatism is not in the slightest inconsistent with libertarianism, so long as you resist the urge to have the State enforce your views.
Sounds like a slippery slope to tolerating the intolerable.
That will not do.
punishing myself for stupid shit I did years ago
Hahaha, no one ever does that, hahaha. [twitches, looks around nervously]
(-.-)
I’m still reminded of when I gave a wrong answer or made a mistake in elementary school – by my own brain. It seems to have more room to remember errors than anything else. And not even errors I can learn from.
The brain is hard-wired to remember the bad stuff. My point is that therapy helps me see how minimal it all really is. I can tell myself, “Nobody remembers me or this” and that helps for about 2 seconds. The therapist can say, “Everybody does this.” And she knows, because she talks to lots of people.
“Nobody remembers me” would lead me down the road to depression. I’m already alone, I don’t want to be forgotten too.
I was wired thus for input: “positive” ‘<' brain-reception '<' "negative" until I figured out, with some therapy that I didn't have to operate that way. [if the GT/LT signs render properly]
Reminds me of a line from a movie. I saw that movie in the theater with a little red headed girl.
“Vivian : People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis : I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian : The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?”
I have a whole litany of regrets I can mentally recite when down on myself. Each one can still hurt.
Stop it!
I remember times when I said something thoughtless or insensitive that may have hurt someone, even if they didn’t say so.
Yep, I remember those too, and the hell of it is, I don’t actually know if that person was hurt or even noticed what I said.
Then, of course, I wonder how many times I’ve said something thoughtless or insensitive and never realized it. 😟
Why waste time thinking about that which might not have even been an issue at the time, and no amount of hurting yourself will change what transpired?
Because there is stoicism, and then there is empathy. Not saying they can’t coexist, but empathy demands attention, and hurting someone nice you didn’t mean to hurt hurts.
Now, I’ve hurt plenty of people I’ve meant to hurt, and I’m totally fine with that. I’ll defend those to my dying breath.
Then there are the people I SHOULD HAVE hurt, but didn’t, and most of those, I kinda think, “Damn. Lost opportunity. Oh well.”
I understand that, and I have said stupid things that accidentally hurt people and apologized for it.
I have also had times where I realized later that I didn’t realize at the time what I said.
Torturing yourself after the fact doesn’t help you or the person you might have hurt.
That’s why it’s best for the person who feels hurt to bring it up; it might lead to apologies and better relationships going forward, but even more importantly, addressing It right away often reveals it was a true misunderstanding, sometimes even a literal mishearing of words.
I’ve seen the silent suffering due to a big misunderstanding far too many times. Get that stuff handled!
In a quasi related theme, the social interactions here do have a stabilizing effect on me.
The meatspace people I’m surrounded with just seem to risky to be honest with because my opinions are unpopular and I don’t want them to cause professional issues. A few years back I did reputational harm to myself by debating the mechanics of carbon dioxide and temperature with a true believer in the a post meeting chatter, and it got heated. I’m convinced it resulted in me getting difted over to a different unit under the excuse that I supported some of that stuff. Certainly didn’t win me any friends.
Even if it’s just someplace to vent, a venue like this helps.
I haven’t worked out of the house for decades now, but I learned that lesson (don’t shit where you eat) the hard way too.
If they did therapy while drunk it may work. Me, sober, talking to some asshole and having to pay for it? We ain’t getting to no hard truths that way.
Sounds like a niche field.
Second the therapy rec. It has been very helpful. And unless you’re talking self harm or threat to other people, it’s unlikely to result in a red flag.
Should I continue to write this series? – Yes please.
Does anyone feel it has helped them? – Yes it has.
If I do continue(I think I will do it for me, and having to post here helps me to stay disciplined), should I try a different format? – I like the current format, but I’m not your supervisor.
Me too. I enjoy the logical advice at the end of each stressful work week.
Also, read this thread: https://x.com/shekfu/status/1740523952362135662?s=61&t=h5BOKTRU9mc6OIfm7REElw
“controlling grief”
Not sure it works that way. I can control myself and not do destructive things because of my grief, but grieving is a process, staying the course in that process is all you can do. “You have to feel it all, there’s no avoiding it” – advice from another guy who lost a child.
grieving is a process
That’s the standard notion, and it has great merit.
Would the Stoics say I inherited some of their jam? I feel like I get to play a shorter field because the first couple of steps of grief are built into my world view; it’s yin and yang: joy has no meaning without anticipating loss. Moj would call this Southern Gothic; maybe it’s the wisdom of poverty; maybe it’s Scots Irish bullshit? I came into this world naked, and I’m going out in a box, and there’s this shit that happens in the middle.
Not that you ever price the loss of a child into your portfolio….oofda.
I literally built Marina on this.
I believe the stoic thing to do is to accept the pain and know most of will eventually fade – while not acting on it.
https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/chicago-multiple-felon-and-violence-interrupter-gets-10-years-after-shooting-himself-in-the-butt/
lulz
Libertarianism is sort of stoicism, minding one’s own business, etc. Your contributions and the feedback of the Glibs have helped me, particularly in these past few years. Aging gracefully is difficult. Losing those we love is particularly difficult and the years seem to hasten that part. Throw in some related infirmities and we’ll take any encouragement we can get.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzlP9yrVGXI
If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool
Little Book Of Calm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOlnsyYbpFs
Ukraine running out of other people’s money. Their civil servants may need to practice some stoicism and hope they aren’t sent to the front.
Millions Of Ukrainians About To See Salaries & Pensions Paused As Western Aid Dries Up
Too bad, so sad.
“Should I continue to write this series?”
Please do. I expect the self-reflection required to write it is good for you, and I do enjoy it as a sort of instinctive Stoic.
“Does anyone feel it has helped them?”
I think so. It never hurts to take a few moments and think about the issues you raise here.
Ron –
You are a role model for those of us who write weekly posts. You have produce quality content weekly for two years. I read it every time, even if I don’t have time to comment. I believe you should keep going.
Same! Thanks Ron.
“…replace the dash which was crumbling and basically exploded when I put a screwdriver to it.”
That is hilarious. Makes it easy and fun to remove, that’s for sure. I had some 1960s Fords that all did that. I swear the dashboards were made of pressboard you’d use for pegboards.
I bought a plastic welder, thinking I could fix it, but when I welded one part, another would crumble.
This was the first thing I’ve done on my truck that made me actively hate Dodge.
It is universal to damn near every car. Old dashboards turn to shit faster than institutions owned by democrats. And it could be worse.
It could be British made. I once watched someone try and restore a Lotus Esprit (The James Bond one). The Brits had glued the dashboard on when it was made.
Only one other thing would I say – You choose what you want to post next. Listen to everyone’s advice, but I have found that when I follow other’s advice on what to write, it goes badly. Only your own advice will make your posts successful.
So, speaking of crumbling Ram dashes. I have one that’s caved in and the water pump is currently being replaced, and it’s got 370,000 miles, and I’m wondering if I should just sell the damned truck and my mechanic assures me there’d be somebody who wanted to buy it AND I KNOW that as soon as I sell that fucker, I’ll need it for something. So instead we fix its issues and deal with the dash.
The water pump on those is easy, so there shouldn’t be too much labor.
The dash is a nightmare, but you can buy a cover that glues on to it that looks decent.
There are also dash mats that can hide the plastic.
There was something else with the water pump (can’t remember right now), so I’m looking at $500ish.
I’ve thought about those dash covers, but really … why? My laconic mechanic just raised his eyebrows at it.
Whether you want a cover or not depends on if the crumbled dash bothers you or not.
My truck had a dash cover when I bought it, and if the heater hadn’t leaked, it would still be there.
There is a Buddhist saying which recently floated back into the forefront of my mind: “Chop wood, carry water.”
I need to get back to that. My life has been upended in the last few years. I need to start a new one. Easier said than done.
As for the weekly series- as Juris said, let the decision be yours.
So this is an interesting thought.
I guess it’s on-topic.
When these recurring, regularly scheduled features drop, I keep feeling I should be making more content for the site. My biggest problem is – I’m slow. My second biggest problem is that most of what I make is one-off features. For example, I’ve taken the photographs for a product review that I just need to actually write, but which doesn’t lend itself to follow-up.
I had wanted to start a pulp-style serial story, and half of the first plotline has been sitting as a draft waiting for me to write the second half. (I would have included ‘previously on’ blurbs at the start of new plotlines that referenced issues that didn’t happen as a running gag)
I had debated putting together a set following painting up of some model subscription services, but doubt I could add value to each installment beyond progress updates – which would be insufficient in my book. A full blown ‘how to paint series’ is still presumptuous from me.
I thought about serializing the completed yet unpublished “Prince of the North Tower”, but then I’d be ripping of Mojeaux’s idea.
I am also debating doing a series where I try to teach myself something I currently have a poor grasp on – circuit logic and electronic device design. Mostly because I just got a breadboard kit to learn the basics of electrical devices. The end goal of the whole thing being creating a device with a nixie tube output to show… something. I haven’t decided, but know I wanted to do more than just buy a clock kit and solder it together.
Then again, I’m unreliable, and haven’t finished the kitbash series I started years ago…
If I had to come up with original material every week, I wouldn’t last past the first week.
Maybe you could take that slot after 1520 finishes.
Isn’t that still a year out?
Yes, but you have previously expressed unhappiness when you were put in the Friday 7p slot, which is one reason I took it.
I am unhappy with that slot because I like to engage with the comments and I’m usually not around then (Or most evenings)
I seem to recall you were unhappy with the dearth of comments, but that could be my remembery, which is shit.
🤷♂️
I don’t recall the exact conversation, what I said, or what I was reacting to. But, selfishly, engagement with the commentariat is what I get out of contributing content. If there’s no one around, or if I’m not around, it doesn’t seem as worth it.
Lol. I have many columns with <50 comments. At least one that got <30.
It's obviously because my revealed facts are so convincing that there's nothing to argue about.
Having said that, I will finally have another rye post at some point.
There’s no need to laugh… (._.)
Not going into the archives, I have 4 posts <30, with the lowest having 19 comments.
My highest was the one where I combined a rye review with a stove review, giving people multiple options to express their opinion on the topic(s).
https://www.glibertarians.com/2020/01/a-review-of-the-kitchen-aid-model-kfgg500ebl2/
Dammit, now I want some more Few, and it hasn't been in the stores for a long time.
My "Philosophy is silly" post also got many more comments than usual, undoubtedly because many people take philosophy seriously.
My lowest Engagement in terms of comments from those articles in the current environment was “Blood on the Bricks, Part 1” with 84 Comments. It just edged out the article on Sausage Making which had 85. At the other end “Pirates of Dragon Cove” got 297.
As I said, I enjoy engaging with the other Glibs.
Fwiw, the sausage article was good and interesting.
Try once a month. Talk to an editor and find a day that is hard set (for the cartoon it’s the last Wed of the month). I work better with deadlines. I have no self-imposed dead line for Gravity Man, and I still have one more episode in Season 1, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet because there is no dead line.
I don’t need to learn how to manage my anger so much as I need to learn how not to be terrified of (and by) others’ anger.
I’ve got a co-worker you could ride around with. You’d be desensitized in no time. Nicest guy, but you put him behind the wheel…
Driving is another area where patience from Stoicism helps me.
A few months ago, I was driving at night on a rural 2 lane road.
A Tesla passed me and then slowed down in front of me.
When I went to pass him, he sped up and once I gave up, he would drive really slowly again.
This repeated a few times, and whereas before I would have been losing my mind, I took the next exit, found a gas station and bought myself a coke.
I don’t understand people.
Seconded. That behavior doesn’t make sense to me.
When I’m driving on a highway, my ideal situation is to be able to set cruise control and drive my chosen speed, pasing or being passed as the speeds sort out. If you want to go faster than me, pass me. If you want to go slower than me, let me pass.
Depends on your local highway.
You’d get run off the road on I-15 doing that.
There’s someone in my neighborhood who did a similar stunt to my wife and I saw him doing it to someone else. (Get on front and then keep stopping). I told her to firstly never go home when someone like that is messing with you, you don’t know their intentions.
Some people are just spoiling for a fight because their old lady chewed their ass out earlier that day.
The Tesla was doing it to him, not the Tesla driver.
if Harvard annoys the people of your country enough—especially your wealthy elites—then its 50-billion-dollar endowment will not save it.
A monumental case study in wealth destruction. When an institution has completely lost its way and forgotten its purpose, dissolution is the only proper answer. I have no delusions about that actually happening.
We’re talking about the U.S., right?
At this point, this is just funny. The state wants everything that moves to be electric, but can’t generate enough electricity to meet demand and is doing essentially nothing to fix that.
They just need to force TX to connect their grid and get power that way.
Man, they really want people to starve, freezing, in the dark.
Reminds one of the old ‘what did communists use before candles?’ joke.
So… Coal locomotives? These people are crazy.
I’m not angry, I’m just sad. I’ve had a similar conversation with a progressive friend. Nobody says I’m guilty of cultural appropriation for learning French, OTH with learning Japanese I couldn’t get a straight answer out of him if it was ok to study it.
AITA for embarrassing someone by “pretending to be Japanese”?
Pushed to me by Google’s algorithm.
With even my passing familiarity with Japanese culture – I’m pretty sure they’d call the whole idea of “culturual appropriation” as bullshit, laugh at the lefty, and make another piece of content mish-mashed from all over the world.
Part of Japanese culture is appropriation. Earlier from China and later the west. A good portion of the language is directly borrowed from the west.
That said, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t historical as well as current racism. But that’s a different issue and one I can’t speak to.
Two of my VN relatives (nephew and a niece) assimilated in high school by getting Afro hair styles. AFAIK no one laughed at them. OTOH it’s a little harder for city folks to assimilate into rural culture, takes a few years to learn how to spear fish at night with a light, etc. You know you’ve been accepted when the game warden recognizes you at the coffee shop.
I had a VN grade-school classmate who went from shy nodding (🤷🏻♀️) to conversant within eight months.
This is one of my favorite appropriations of the Japanese: Rockabilly.
https://j-fashion.fandom.com/wiki/Rockabilly
It’s adorable.
https://youtu.be/ctD1rNnFaA0?si=yyEGaSHEk6b-SgFv
I see that and have some crossover genre action with Guitar Wolf
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zq7ltPWXQg0
I can see that.
That’s a lot of stupid for one person.
All of my kids have Japanese names.
My son’s name is Kazuma and at the restaurant he manages, they call him “Zoomie”.
So much that.
I do enjoy how Japanese pronunciations in western usage evolve. For example, my wife has Hashimoto’s disease and she as both an American and an RN wonderfully mispronounces it.
In your son’s case the accent is on the first syllable, but an English speaker will gravitate to emphasizing the middle and hence Zoomie.
Let’s not tell him the “mi” is usually a feminine ending for names! 😉
A pronunciation guide for Japanese would be welcome, either Glib–recommended or –composed.
Can do!
https://www.glibertarians2018.link/2018/07/03/japanese-loanwords/
Domo arigato, sensei-san. 🙇♀️
You can’t culturally appropriate the French, because wypipo have no culture. Duh.
There is only one thing to post in response to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGy9uomagO4
TX banned DEI in public schools, two different UT campuses have literally just renamed their DEI programs. No changes to personnel or function.
The UK banned Pit bulls. Do you think that the breeders there will be able to get away with renaming the dogs Orlando Terriers?
TIL the only person that can remove the
DukeMayor of New York City is the Governor. The plebs have no say.This is relevant because Hizzoner has said he’s not going to implement a plan that the city council passed.
Link?
https://nypost.com/2023/12/28/metro/nyc-mayor-eric-adams-tells-city-council-he-wont-implement-costly-housing-voucher-plan-and-they-can-take-him-to-court/
https://www.newsnationnow.com/us-news/midwest/ap-woman-sues-dentist-after-4-root-canals-8-dental-crowns-and-20-fillings-in-a-single-visit/
That’s crazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtWQGtgrC90
I heard perverse incentives might have been involved; Medicaid?
From the article their expert claimed the work was required, but should not have been done all at once.
I question that, but one of the reasons for doing so may have been to consolidate things because of insurance considerations.
I had to go look. The services were performed in July of 2020, so that is well before end of year and resetting of deductible. Now her insurance could be so bad that she only gets a couple visits covered per year, so maybe that was a consideration. Just wondering, was she teleported from Medieval England, where such poor dental hygiene was commonplace? I mean, that is really letting things go. Drugs maybe?
One charge for anesthesia instead of many all of which apply to policy caps for example.
But something like this can cross from dental to medical coverage as well.
Ron,
Based on your self-reported improvement I don’t think you should stop doing your stoic posts. Like exercise (heh) you need to keep doing it to have the benefits not atrophy.
Speaking of exercise, check if there are any F3 groups in your area. https://f3nation.com/workouts/
Just modify as necessary so you don’t get hurt.
Sir:
I have greatly appreciated your essay’s . Please continue.