117 Comments

  1. Shpip

    Microsoft has become the second company ever to achieve a $3 trillion market valuation, closing at the market cap for the first time today just after it laid of 1900 workers from its gaming divisions.

    Getting rid of the deadweight pays off. Just ask Elon.

    • SDF-7

      They certainly got rid of all their testers awhile back. In favor of their install base.

      • Sensei

        Exactly. It’s the modern thing. People pay you to beta test (or alpha test if you are Musk) your product.

        Best part is people line up to do it so they can generate clicks on the web and social media.

      • Nephilium

        “Early Access”

      • Sensei

        I can tell you none of my Windows machines ever run any of MSFT’s “Cumulative Update Preview” patches unless I’m forced to by MSFT borking something else.

        In the old, old days you used to gain features or better stability with updates. Now it’s new security and fixing the stability issues with prior security patches.

      • Nephilium

        I was more referencing the people paying for early access games on Steam. With all of the times getting burned by preorders for games, I still can’t comprehend how “early access” became popular.

    • rhywun

      It helps if you stop making stuff, too.

  2. Drake

    Gyllenhaal still compensating for Broke Back Mountain?

    • rhywun

      (gross)

      Yeah, he seems horribly miscast to me. Swayze rocked that look. This kid just isn’t pulling it off.

  3. Sean

    Eh, Microsoft can suck it.

    • R.J.

      I wouldn’t even let them do that.

      How’s that Teams outage going? My work PC is still jacked.

      • rhywun

        Heard about it. Mine was working fine. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  4. trshmnstr

    “After all, it doesn’t take a PhD in economics to realize that racking up $34 trillion in debt — an amount 20 percent higher than the nation’s GDP, with a debt-to-GDP ratio higher than during World War II — is a serious problem.”

    One might say that it takes a PhD in economics to delude yourself into thinking it isn’t a serious problem.

    • Suthenboy

      Bingo

    • juris imprudent

      Well you might sorta get away with it on the premise that your economy can outgrow the debt. But that goes out the window when you are determined to shrink the economy, for the sake of the planet.

      • trshmnstr

        Well you might sorta get away with it on the premise that your economy can outgrow [X]

        I feel like this is the basis for 90% of the economic BS in the 20th century. “We got a freight train with a powerful engine and a ton of momentum. Let’s just keep loading her up!”

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, it was implied that this only works for a while, and only if the economy actually grows faster than govt spending. So no, it doesn’t really work.

      • Suthenboy

        It appears to be an out of whack system akin to but not homeostatic. Increased economic growth is a signal to the govt to borrow and spend even more. Thus, the debt will always outpace growth.

      • R C Dean

        That only works if the debt doesn’t grow by more than the economy every year.

        Last year, our GDP* went up 2.5%. Our national debt increased by something like 8%. No serious or even numerate person could argue that we can grow out of it without first drastically reducing the annual deficit, at a minimum.

        *For what that statistic is worth. And, by the way, that includes deficit spending. Take the deficit spending/increase in national debt/money printing out, and the economy is basically flatlined.

  5. Ted S.

    “Jake Gyllenhaal gets ripped, might rip throats out, in Road House remake” (gross)

    Who’s playing the Ida Lupino part?

  6. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Roadhouse was campy good, not great, in that 1980’s cornball way that only a few actors could pull off and have it be watchable and Swayze was one of them. Fasten y’all’s seatbelts cuz this one’s gonna suck.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Terrible movie. Wonderful quotes.

      • Mojeaux

        As I said to Theeeeeeee Hyperbole on Twitter, the suck is what makes it awesome.

      • Sensei

        Here’s looking at you movie version of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m surprised they went with a white man for Dalton – that’s not promoting The Message. I’m sure Ben Gazzara’s part will still be old, nasty, white guy.

  7. Shpip

    On Thursday, Amazon dropped the first full trailer for Gyllenhaal’s new action flick. Road House re-imagines the plot of the Swayze original: Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) “takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems,” according to the movie’s official description.

    I read that and immediately thought of Woody’s in Islamorada. Strip club / honky tonk with the house band “Big Dick and the Extenders” fronted by a 6’9″ Seminole Indian.

    Young Shpip spent many an inebriated evening there before waking at the crack of dawn to annoy the local fish.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Was Dawn hawt?

      • slumbrew

        *golf clap*

      • juris imprudent

        Only if he woke up on the asphalt.

  8. pistoffnick

    I just finished my Diversity and Harassment training for the year. The video was made by a company called…wait for it… TrainingBriefs®

    Sounds like a brand of toddler diapers.

    Mommy, wow!, I’m a big boy now!

    • Sean

      lulz

    • Sensei

      So what’s the deal if you only ask for quid pro quo sexual favors from only one race and/or gender?

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s covered in the gratuities module. Please enter your credit card number to unlock the next training bundle.

    • The Other Kevin

      We have to do something like that for hockey called Safe Sport. Every practice, road trip, and text chat someone makes a Safe Sport joke.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      So now you are ready to take your harassment to the next level? Are you a Black belt? Or should that be an African American belt?

  9. Shpip

    Anyone can have a rough first day at a new job. Florida Man takes it to a new level.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Buried lede

      Cray has 11 felony convictions (two violent) and eight misdemeanor convictions (none violent).

      +1400 Ban the Box

      • Shpip

        Here in Big College Town, it’s unlawful for a prospective employer to run a background check prior to offering a job.

        Doing so would, of course, discriminate against the felon-American community.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Welcome to Whatevertown Daycare, your background check shows you to be a convicted murderer and a goat rapist. Welcome aboard!

      • Tres Cool
    • rhywun

      allegedly stealing $1,400

      He forgot he’s not in California?

      • R.J.

        *Golf clap

    • The Other Kevin

      “but after leaving, he stood up and lifted the wheelchair into his car”
      Oh shit I do that. But then again I’m not getting $660k in benefits from anyone.

    • rhywun

      “I learned it from you, George Constanza!”

      • Sensei

        “It must be comforting to know you’ll be going straight to hell at no more than three miles an hour.”

  10. The Other Kevin

    Trump ordered to pay $83.3 million in that defamation suit. The age of lawfare continues.

    • kinnath

      soap box, ballot box, jury box, ammo box . . . .

      running out of options

      • Drake

        Won’t somebody rid me of this pesky bitch?

      • R C Dean

        Good luck getting your digital soapbox past Google/YouTube/Facebook/Etc.

      • kinnath

        As I said, running out of options very quickly.

    • Sensei

      Good news is according to the real estate collateral filings with his Wall St lenders that claims are accurate he has plenty of cash.

      The State of NY does disagree however…

    • grrizzly

      E. Jean Carroll is a lying whore.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Allegedly goddamnit! ALLEGEDLY!!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She is an insane sack of shit though…in my opinion…and the judge is a twat.

      • rhywun

        Both of you open up your wallets.

      • Tres Cool

        Say that on Twitter and you’ll be in jail.

      • Sean

        They are both commie shit weasels.

      • Drake

        Defamation for saying you didn’t rape the woman! Pay up.

      • creech

        Isn’t filing an appeal verboten? Convicted persons are, apparently, forbidden from continuing to proclaim their innocence.

    • Suthenboy

      lThe only thing the CJ system really has is credibility. I am sorry, had.
      83M for a crime so long ago the plaintiff cant remember when, with no witnesses and the alleged perp claims he has never met the plaintiff and has no idea who she is?
      If they keep this shit up people will begin to ignore them.

      • juris imprudent

        Her famereputation took such a hit.

      • Spudalicious

        This was civil. And all it was for was to determine if she deserved more compensation from a previous civil judgement. This would never have seen the light of day in criminal court.

        If anyone thinks Donnie is going to get a favorable jury judgement in Manhattan, they’ve been living in a cave.

    • Urthona

      Probably not the best idea to hire incompetent counsel based on a nice rack.

      • R C Dean

        He could have hired the love child of Perry Mason and Atticus Finch and it would make zero difference. The judge and jury don’t care in the least about Carroll’s reputation or what Trump said. That is all a pure pretext for venting their hatred.

    • Swiss Servator

      When you don’t show for the trial…the damages phase can be a bitch. If olny OMB could hire a half assed lawyer or two.

    • trshmnstr

      This conspiracy strikes me as a bit pointless. Would anybody have blinked an eye if it was shot down? Everybody has been clear from day 1 that it likely would’ve been shot down if it got close enough to something “important”. The pilots who were up there said they were griding their loins, preparing to shoot it down. Why deny it if it did happen?

      • The Other Kevin

        The idea that the TSA wouldn’t exist just isn’t true. There were 3 other planes hijacked, and the overreaction would be the same.

      • robc

        I stand behind my cheaper option: Put a “Lets Roll” poster outside each jetway.

        Problem solved.

      • Tres Cool

        I do love the theory that 9/11 was indeed orchestrated by the Deep State just for an excuse to enact the “Patriot” Act.
        Which Snowden proved was a legal way to spy on everyone, with the TelComs being complicit.

        Not to mention the sham FISA courts.

      • The Other Kevin

        My very Republican teammate and I had a good discussion on airport security. Like me, he admits that once a government program exists, there is no getting rid of it. And anything run by the government has no incentive of improving.

        So our solution is to get rid of the TSA, go to private security, keep locking cockpits (which already prevents just about all hijackings), and if you are going to do searches, make them truly random. He also mentioned the technology in the part of Running Man (with Ahnold) where he runs down a hallway and it scans him already exists, so any private company should be able to come up with an implementation of that.

      • westernsloper

        And now the TSA uses arrest papers as identification for people who had no ID when they were arrested for illegally crossing the border so the taxpayers can pay for their flight to their new home in hotel that the tax payer gets to pay for so they can never appear at their asylum hearing date in 2026. The TSA, the current border policy along with, the patriot act and every ass clown who ever supported any of it can go to hell and probably will because it is fucking criminal.

      • Derpetologist

        Why did the Army lie about how Pat Tillman died?

        Because the truth embarrassed them and reduced their power.

        Same deal with the Pentagon Papers.

      • Swiss Servator

        Because Rangers… I was at BAF, when they brought Tillman up to us, my CSM said “Right in the head, friendly fire.” We knew way ahead of everyone.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Trump ordered to pay $83.3 million in that defamation suit.

    That didn’t take long. One might almost think the courtroom kabuki was just window dressing.

    • Tres Cool

      “But he can afford it!”

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        He can afford it but the value of his holdings are not anywhere near what he says it is.

      • Suthenboy

        If they start chipping away at him like this he won’t be able to afford it for long.
        I would like to know who the people are setting these charades up. They started with Thomas and now run this scam on anyone they dont want in power. They are absurdly transparent fabrications. How do they recruit these women?

      • Urthona

        Don’t worry. Republican donors pay for everything.

      • Swiss Servator

        The fookin’ Trumpaloes will donate and pay for it…fuck that car payment!

      • Tres Cool

        Christine Blasey-Ford still needs income. Why do you deny her lived experience ?

      • B.P.

        Surely Trump carries rape insurance.

    • creech

      Surely even in a lefty cesspool like NY you’d expect at least one juror to admire or at least demand justice for Donnie.

      • Gender Traitor

        I just got an idea for a courtroom drama called Twelve Angry Women.*

        *Yeah, yeah, I know – you’d never get an all women jury in this day and age…would you?

      • R C Dean

        Make one of them a tranny.

  12. Raven Nation

    Shame about Ingenuity. I think a helicopter on Mars is one of the most wonderful things to happen in my lifetime.

    • R C Dean

      It hugely overperformed. I think it was originally scheduled for 4 test flights. They got many, many more out of it.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Racialist justice

    New York City’s American Museum of Natural History is closing certain halls that display Native American artifacts in response to updated federal regulations that call for institutions to receive consent from Indigenous tribes to display some of their artifacts.

    Beginning Saturday, the museum’s Eastern Woodlands and Great Plains halls will be closed to staff and visitors. Seven cases displaying Indigenous artifacts in other areas of the museum will also be covered. Sean M. Decatur, the museum’s president, announced the closures in a letter to staff Friday.

    Visitors and staff, mind you.

    Is our esteemed head of Interior a member of AIM?

    • Suthenboy

      How sure are they that the artifacts belong to tribe A when there was such a dynamic migration of tribes from one location to another due to war, enslavement and cannibalism? A lot of artifacts are from tribes that are long extinct before whitey ever showed up.

      My advice? You were a Stone Age people when we arrived. No wheel, no horses, no steel, very little in the way of domestic animals. The world your ancestors lived in was a horribly violent nightmare. You (contemporary injun) are one of the luckiest people to ever live. Assimilate, marry, stop drinking, get a job and become wealthy.
      Raise your children to be prosperous, happy, productive people.

      Yeah, I know. They are mostly grifters using sacred ancestor bullshit to extort money. I have had to deal with them before. They are insufferable. This is why I became a life-long member of the John Wayne School of Indian Affairs.

      • creech

        Where the cavalry carried the flag, that place became the United States of America.

    • R C Dean

      I never cease to be amazed at how wokism is applied to erase minorities.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    While tribal leaders have pushed for the repatriation of artifacts and remains to take place respectfully and quickly, some expressed concerns that the process of identifying the items could create an overwhelming burden for tribes, according to The New York Times. Institutions have also encountered difficulties in identifying origins of items that may have been procured in problematic and outdated ways, the Times added.

    They’ll just have to get a bunch of white college professors to explain it all to them.

    • R C Dean

      Just pile it all up in a warehouse somewhere. Let ‘em pick through it and take what they want. After a couple years, say, the rest goes to the dump.

    • R C Dean

      And I do like the admission that these items are so sacred and important to them that they can’t even tell which ones are which.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m still in a t-shirt and jeans. It actually hit 70 degrees here today.

      • R.J.

        That’s next week here. Looks idyllic. I am grilling burgers in the cold rain right now. Peeps coming over.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Same here

      • Tres Cool

        So you had a shower today? Doesnt matter….I love when you smell like a woman.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        OK now we’re in creepy territory

      • Tres Cool

        Why am I laughing?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Why is the smell of a woman creepy?
        +1000 tres

      • Animal

        Hasn’t been above zero for about ten days here. Not supposed to get above zero for another ten days or so.

        -22 when I walked over to the office at 0630.

  15. R.J.

    …“Putting a stop to expanded gas exports is one of the most important moves President Biden could make on addressing the climate crisis,” Ben Jealous, executive director of the Sierra Club, said in a statement.

    Hahahahahahaha! Ben Jealous. Does he work with Emma Envy and Connie Commie? Heck I can’t even make up a better funny name than Ben Jealous.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      You’re just Jelly….

    • Tres Cool

      That wasnt blues- it was shitty jazz. And they stole some of the premise from “Crossroads’ with the Karate Kid.

  16. creech

    I wonder what would happen if some guy stepped forward and claimed Kammie had groped him 25 years ago as they rode to a bar association meeting at the Top of the Mark? Better yet, it could be conclusively proved they were both at said meeting.

    • Tres Cool

      Nothing. The media would blame the plaintiff as a RNC plant, dig into his history (help the dude if he did any social media), and dox his family.