Prince of the North Tower – Chapter 25

by | Dec 1, 2024 | Fiction, Literature | 139 comments

I can’t say I didn’t glance at the gaudy sword on the table when the Lawspeaker made his pronouncement. But the wall of armored Dwarfs ringing the room made me decide against such a stupid option. So I found myself clapped in irons and dragged into the depths of the palace along with a bristling Gebhard, a shocked Hengist, and a resigned Volwin. A door clad in sheet iron clanged solidly behind us, and four rows of bolts were shot closed. I was thankful that the chirurgeon had time to finish his work while they’d fetched the irons. This cell didn’t smell all that sanitary.

“You are a curse as much as an asset,” Gebhard said as the total dark closed about us.

“So what is the army going to do?” Hengist asked.

“Nothing as yet. I did send a runner to tell them we’d be detained a few days.”

“I guess it’s literal now,” Hengist said. With the clink of chains, someone sat down. I figured this to be a good idea and found a spot at the foot of a wall. The cold stone was less inviting than the gilt-iron bed had been. I sat there, closing and opening my eyes again, trying to see if there was a difference. There was none. In the dark, silent void, Volwin’s whisper felt thunderous.

“Prince Kord?”

“What is it?” I whispered back.

“I just wanted to be sure you knew I don’t bear any malice towards you.”

“So you said. Just business, right?”

“I didn’t mean… Where I’m from there’s not much that will grow, and not much to trade. We only have a few choices. Even as sellswords, an elf doesn’t hold the line or scare thieves well. So we are hired for sneak attacks.” From the sound of his voice it seemed to me Volwin was seeking forgiveness, or absolution for what he’d done, even though we’d killed most of his fellows. This piqued my suspicion, as well as drawing out some sympathy. It was a question of sincerity. I couldn’t see his face, and our shared verbiage was not my best language. What was he after? We were in the same cell, and much the same mess.

“You still tried to kill me, and I don’t know how you will act when not bound.”

“Fair.”

“Will you two shut up?” Gebhard asked. “I still want to get some sleep tonight.”

I fell silent. Volwin didn’t know the words, but soon discerned the meaning well enough. I heard him shift into a corner and fall still. I sat in the dark, waiting for something to happen.

I didn’t recall nodding off, but waking up told me I must have. The sound that woke me was that of the bolts being retracted. With a creak, the first weak glimmers of light stabbed my eyes. I was forced to shield my sight and turn away until I adjusted to the brighter gloom. When I looked back, there stood an angular figure of steel, bronze, and gold. The runic inlays and geometric patterns of the armor were no less brilliant by lamplight than when I’d last seen such a ceremonial armor in Farcairn. As before, the Lictor did not say a word. After a minute, he took a step back and to the side, permitting his charge to step into the doorway. As fat and bejeweled as I’d last seen him, the mere sight of Ambassador Partanen brightened my mood. He sighed and shook his head, rattling the upper reaches of his beard. The lower beard did not budge.

“When I heard you’d gone into the city, this is not where I expected to find any of you.”

“It is a long story,” I said.

“I’ve heard the Lawspeaker’s side already.”

“So where do we stand?” Gebhard asked.

“Thankfully, the only fatalities were mutual combatants. So the Lawspeaker cannot push for your executions.”

“Well, that’s something,” Hengist said.

“Your exact fate hinges on a quibble,” Partanen said.

“What do you mean?” Gebhard asked.

“If you are guests of His Imperial Majesty, Anastasios Nurmi, then the Lawspeaker cannot hold you and must accept a judgment of restitution to Dux Pyry.”

“But we are.”

“According to the Lawspeaker, you were making plans to leave for Stirnberg. If you did that, I, and any loyal servant of the throne, would be forced to turn you over to the Lawspeaker for trial.”

Gebhard muttered an oath.

“So, if I understand you,” I said, “My only road out of this cell is through Marcel and his Drakoi.”

“Succinctly put,” Partanen said.

“Get us out of here,” Gebhard said.

I started to rise, but caught sight of the piteous from of Dove backed into the corner of the barren stone.

“What about Volwin?” I asked.

“He tried to kill you,” Gebhard said.

“So? Do you slay every prisoner you take in battle?”

“A knife in the dark is different from an open contest of arms.”

“What are the dwarfs going to do to him?”

“Nothing pleasant,” Partanen said. “To start with, he’ll be left in this cell to the cusp of madness simply because it takes so long to organize a trial. Then it would depend upon what he actually gets charged with.”

“I don’t think I can leave with his suffering on my conscience.”

“He is not a guest of the Emperor,” Partanen said.

“He’s a sellsword. If I hired him, he’d be a part of our army.”

“If he stabs you in the night, it’s your own fault,” Gebhard said.

I turned to the elf, who was trying to follow the discussion, despite the language barrier. I switched to Atlorian. “You have two choices. You can stay here and see what mercy the Dwarfs have. Or you can forsake your current employer and work for me.”

“I don’t know some of those words,” Volwin said.

“Work for me or stay here. Your choice.”

“Then I will work for you. I am the only one left. I have to bring money home.”

***

A runner brought me replacement clothing so that I was able to leave without having to cross the city in just my undergarments. My livery badge had survived the fire badly soot-blackened, but intact. My boots and scabbard were not as lucky. I ended up walking out of the palace in slippers. A square of dwarf spearmen boxed us in, making no pretense of being an honor guard. The Lawspeaker followed behind, his long staff ringing against the stone with every step. Partanen followed alongside us, though I couldn’t read his expression. As we headed down the great stair, I broke the silence.

“I’m sorry for the mess, Ambassador.”

“It’s not as if you knew they were going to attack,” Partanen chuckled. “Besides, this isn’t even that much of a mess.”

“Are you kidding?”

“It’s just politics.”

“Politics?”

“Ach, that’s right, you don’t know a whole lot about Dwarfs.”

“No, not really.”

“Well, I can’t condense decades of knowledge into a short description.”

“Whatever you can provide would be appreciated. Besides, this is a long staircase.”

“Well, among the nobility of Quendaverus, there are more factions than can realistically be counted. However, an individual can belong to many factions, and the two biggest ones that matter to you are the Traditionalists and the Pragmatists.” Partanen took a breath and composed his thoughts. “Easiest way to think of the Traditionalists is that they believe the way things were done in the Old Empire are the way things should be done now. And the reason we’re not in control of the world the way we used to be is because we have deviated from that path.”

“I see.”

“In contrast, the Pragmatists believe that the ways of the Old Empire worked for the conditions that existed then, and the world is different now. As such, we must adapt to survive. The Emperor and I are pragmatists. Priests, like the Lawspeakers, are almost always Traditionalists. Marcel’s revolt has sorely hurt the Pragmatist faction and emboldened the Traditionalists. Otherwise, this particular Lawspeaker wouldn’t have thrown you in a cell.”

“Does he have a name? No one ever seems to call him anything but ‘Lawspeaker’.”

“No. Not in his official capacity. The nature of the office is that of priest and judge. It is more important than the dwarf that holds it. Thus their beards are shorn, and they only appear in public with their ceremonial armor. They are theoretically interchangeable. But that is no more true than with any other person.”

“How badly is this going to come back to bite us later?”

“Which? The incident, or the factional strife?”

“Either?”

Partanen shook his head, and again I noticed the bulk of his beard didn’t move when he did. “It’ll come back to bite us, but they’re the same problem.”

“I have an unrelated question, if it’s not too personal.”

“What is it?” Partanen asked.

“Is your beard attached to your shirt?”

“Not to the shirt, but to another garment. Our follicles may be strong, but even a dwarf face can’t carry this much weight for long.”

“I see. Thank you.”

Partanen waved it off. “At least you had enough sense to ask me instead of someone you didn’t know.” His mood was far more jovial than mine, though I was getting less dour the further from the Oakenyoke palace we got. Our horses were waiting at the foot of the stair, along with a beast I’d never seen before. As tall as the horses, and as long from withers to hip as the horses were from nose to tail, it was twice as wide. It had a broad, flat head, low to the ground, and a long, meaty tail. The whole thing was covered in short, shaggy, brown fur. Perched atop its broad back was a tall howdah with an orange and jade sun canopy.

“What is that thing?” Hengist asked.

“A wooly adamantarx,” Partanen said, “This one is named Goldmoon.” The ambassador climbed a few strategically placed stirrups to get into the howdah behind the driver. His lictor followed behind. Goldmoon didn’t seem to notice the weight. It did, however, only move at a lazy amble, even when prodded by the driver’s heavy goad.

***

An army the size of ours had a multitude of craftsmen to supply basic replenishments. The leatherworker sent to answer my call was a bulky man whose loose jowls indicated a great deal of recent weight loss. His beard was scraggly, and his fingers short and stubby. On the canvas between us, I laid out the blades I’d collected. The edge damage on the gaudy sword drew a scowl from me. I could only guess it had chipped and rolled when I’d hacked into the troll’s hard neck bones.

“I thought you needed boots,” the leatherworker said. His accent had a slow cadence and sounded as if he had to roll the words about his mouth before they could be permitted to leave him.

“I do, I also need new scabbards.” For three of the blades between us, I’d never had a scabbard to begin with. The assassin’s blade and Tabris’ twin swords had been taken bared. Having gotten a closer look at them, the twin swords turned out to be falcatas. The cutting edge was along the inside of the forward curving blade, which was widest about a third of the way back from the tip. I’d also seen how well it could stab.

He motioned towards Otto’s blade, “Well, you have one.”

“Actually, I wanted to replace that since I have an opportunity.”

He sighed, the rippling skin of his cheeks and lower chin exaggerating the gesture. “All right, you sound like you have an idea already in mind. What is it?”

“I want to set up a harness so I can carry all of these while riding, and draw any after using my lance.”

“With all due respect, isn’t that why knights have squires?”

“I’m not a knight,” I said. The leatherworker gave me a look of mixed skepticism and exasperation. I ignored it.

“That sword there is as tall as you are,” he said.

“My thought was to have a full scabbard only as long as my actual draw reach, and a simple rest for the remainder of the weight. If it crosses from above my right shoulder to my left hip, the tip can rest where it doesn’t bother my horse.”

“And where do you want the rest of them?”

“The basketed blade-” I gestured at the gaudy sword, “At the customary location on the left hip. The short blade opposite and set up for a reverse draw. And the falcatas crossed behind the lower back for a side-draw.”

“I assume you’ll want it adjustable for armor.”

“Yes,” I nodded. The artisan fished out a piece of charcoal and began marking the canvas, taking measurements of the blades.

“I’ll also need some measurements of you.”

“Obviously.”

“Are you hiding from us?” Lenz asked behind me.

“No, Lenz, I needed to get some things done.”

Lenz sat down next to me and for a moment watched the artisan gather measurements from the weapons. “Are you going to tell me what happened in there?”

“Another assassination attempt,” I said.

“And you brought one of the assassins back here?”

“I don’t want to have the same argument with another person, Lenz.”

“You’re avoiding thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Don’t be absurd,” I said.

“Oh, there’s really something you don’t want to think about.”

I glared at Lenz, but he just met my glare.

“Fine!” I loosed an exasperated sigh. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“All right, what about it doesn’t make sense?” Lenz asked.

“The surviving elf said his employer had entered into an alliance with Kirchner to take control of everything north of the Small Sea.”

“Well, that’s not all that hard to believe.”

“What doesn’t make any sense is why it requires removing me.”

“Of course a goal like that requires getting rid of you. You’re the only claimant to the Iron Diadem.”

“What does that matter.” Despite the wording, I didn’t intone it as a question.

“It’s everything.”

“It’s not as if I have any lands.”

Lenz swatted the back of my head hard enough to nearly dislodge my glasses.

“What? I distinctly remember our geography tutor telling me not to waste my time looking at the map. I wasn’t going to find the Raven Coast Roc.”

“Have you seriously not paid any attention to anything that happened in the past century?”

“I’ve paid attention.”

“So, when did your family lose the lands Jochen conquered?”

I stared at him in silence.

“I don’t remember the incident you mention, but I do remember that you constantly annoyed the man half to madness. We stayed in your house in Freinmarkt, remember?”

“So I have a house.”

“You’re starting to really annoy me.”

“All right. I admit, I don’t know my borders.”

“I’m not trying to get a confession.” Lenz shook his head. “Look, the reason Kirchner needs to get rid of you is because he’s your vassal. So’s my father, and your uncle, and Grandmaster Straub. Even Freiherr Black from Amber Town owes fealty to the Furst of Karststadt.”

I stared at Lenz in silent disbelief. There was no mirth or deception in his eyes. I saw only utter sincerity.

The moment was broken when the artisan asked, “Did you still want boots?”

“Yes, I need those first,” I said, glad for something easy to answer. He drew a simple instrument and measured my feet.

“Did you honestly think you were heir to an empty title?” Lenz asked.

“In truth, yes.”

He shook his head.

“Don’t pick on me,” I said, meekly.

“I have to. I mean, seriously.”

“Do you really want to antagonize your future liege?”

“You know me as well as I do you. I mean, if you don’t want the job…”

“There’s no way you can claim it,” I said.

Lenz grinned at me.


If you want your own copy, the whole book is available from Amazon in eBook, Paperback, and Hardcover variants.

About The Author

UnCivilServant

UnCivilServant

A premature curmudgeon and IT drone at a government agency with a well known dislike of many things popular among the Commentariat. Also fails at shilling Books

139 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    “…some have greatness thrust upon them.” I guess Lenz’s father didn’t want Kord to get a big head.

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s never explicitly mentioned, but in the Ashman root culture, humility is a virtue. Both Kord’s family and the Ritterblumes descend from that stock.

    • R.J.

      At least he didn’t name Kord “Sue.”

  2. UnCivilServant

    I thought this chapter was longer.

    • rhywun

      Well, it did take me three hours to read. In between doing some other stuff.

  3. Aloysious

    That’s a lot of swords to carry at once.

    Employing the assassin is a nice twist.

    Looking forward to the next chapter.

    • UnCivilServant

      “I’m an RPG Character” – Kord

      • Aloysious

        I’m trying to think of a good nickname for Kord that Lenz could have fun with.

        Kord of the Sword.

        Kord the Furst Sword.

        Prince Kord, the Swift Avenging Multi-Blade of Raven Coast Roc.

        You get the idea. I can just see Lenz chortling, and Kord rubbing his head and feeling bedeviled.

    • Sean

      You can never have enough weapons.

      • R C Dean

        Well, you can definitely have more than you want to haul around at any given moment.

  4. Sean

    Speaking of weaponry…anyone get their hands on a Kershaw livewire otf knife?

    I’m very tempted.

    • Tres Cool

      Its my current EDC.
      I dont know if it was worth the money, but it my my birthday present to myself.
      I noticed that prices have gone up about $30 since I got mine.

      • rhywun

        A dozen eggs almost doubled in the last two weeks.

        What the fuck, the economy?

      • rhywun

        PS. I didn’t buy any.

      • Sean

        Do you like it?

      • Chafed

        Bidenomics

  5. cyto

    Just had an article pop up saying England was booing one of our USWNT soccer players, and the coach said that was fine. It seems she tweeted something the Alphabet people didn’t like. Article didn’t say what.

    But it did say this:

    “The two captains, England’s Leah Williamson and the USA’s Lindsey Horan, wore rainbow armbands as part of Stonewall’s Rainbow Laces campaign, aimed at showing support for LGBTQ+ inclusion in sport.”

    Question: exactly what lack of inclusion is there of lesbians in women’s sports? Isn’t the USWNT pretty much half lesbians?

    Anyway…

    https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/dec/01/emma-hayes-understands-booing-uswnt-korbin-albert-england

    • cyto

      Also, I saw a couple of comments about a transgender player for Orlando in the US women’s pro soccer league winning player of the year. Anyone know anything about this??

    • Suthenboy

      At this late stage in my life I think I may have been mistaken. Perhaps we should go back to the days of bullying trannies into the closet.
      Having men/boys beating up girls is bullshit. I never cared one way or another about them before, now I hate them.

      • Aloysious

        It’s the sanctimonious activists, ‘allies’, and enablers that piss me off. Buncha cockheads.

  6. rhywun

    chirurgeon

    I thought you stole this from German (the normal word there is ‘Chirurg’) until I dug further.

    OK, now to read.

    • UnCivilServant

      Once Upon a Time, English was a Germanic Language.

      • creech

        You know who else spoke German?

      • Ted S.

        Billy Wilder?

      • rhywun

        Still is.

      • DrOtto

        Sheriff Branford?

  7. kinnath

    Hunter is Free!

    • UnCivilServant

      Did you expect any different?

      • R.J.

        Is there a link to this news?

      • juris imprudent

        I believe I offered $100 saying this would happen and had no takers.

      • R.J.

        Clearly I did not see that, for I am a sporting man.

      • rhywun

        I would never have taken that bet.

        It was completely obvious this would happen.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        “…for I am a sporting man.”

        Did not know you were bald.

    • R C Dean

      Of course, now that he’s been pardoned, he can’t plead the Fifth any more.

      He can still lie under oath, of course, but he can’t be pardoned in advance for perjury. Although, as a known (and admitted) drug addict, he’s in a good position to claim “I was blasted out of my mind on drugs the whole time and can’t remember anything”. Let’s hope he gets subpoenaed and put under oath, just for the public humiliation, even if there aren’t legal consequences.

    • Aloysious

      “…reversing the White House’s promise that the president would not pardon or commute his son’s sentence.”

      Shocking.

      “President Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden depart from Holy Spirit Catholic Church after attending Mass on St. Johns Island, ”

      Performance art. Barftastic.

    • Sensei

      Plus it starts 1/1/2014.

    • Don escaped Memphis

      Don Escaped Australians on June 4, 2020 at 12:51 pm: Trump promises Stone won’t serve prison time; I haven’t studied the Stone situation and hold no opinion of him other than he’s a nut NTTAWWI. I have mixed feelings about the pardon. I hate complicated rules; laws should be simple because virtue isn’t figured on sliderules; but I keep coming back to an idea: the pardon should be only one per month. A president shouldn’t get to wait until his last week or until after his re-election and then go nationwide on the pardon. They should be scarce and valuable, and a president should show what he’s made of early and often.

      Viking1865 on June 4, 2020 at 1:09 pm: Of all the things that need to change with the American government, restricting the (sic) ability of a POTUS to pardon people would seem to be the thing that is fine just the way it is.

    • rhywun

      So does this absolve him of just the gun charges or whatever, or does it include being the point man for the Bidens laundering millions of dollars through that corruptocracy?

      • Sensei

        Anything federal from 2014.

      • rhywun

        I don’t know what that means.

        I’m guessing he’s never been charged with the funny business in Ukraine.

      • Sensei

        Basically he can’t be charged with any federal crime starting from 2014.

        However as RC noted doesn’t mean he can’t be compelled to testify.

      • Fourscore

        If Hunter had known that he’d have had a lot more fun these past 4 years.

    • Chafed

      Does Joe know he issued a pardon?

      • rhywun

        lol Was wondering the same.

    • Brochettaward

      Eric Holder – no US attorney would have brought these charges if not for his name being Hunter Biden based on the underlying facts. There was just no case, gosh darnit.

      Meanwhile, they secured a conviction.

  8. cyto

    Jane Fonda on Bill Mahr demonstrating 2 things.

    1. She is doing and looking amazingly great for 86.

    2. The leftist bubble is more absolute than you thought. Usually they don’t get confronted and have to explain themselves when they are this deep.

    In addition to California not being leftist or having a problem with regulations (somehow she doesn’t know about permitting issues), she doesn’t know about the current trans arguments or any of the other current topics.

    Neil Degrasse Tyson took a similar turn, where he espoused 1990’s positions on things like trans rights, not having the slightest knowledge of the current issues.

    Odd that people so involved in politics should have so very little knowledge of politics

    • R C Dean

      It’s not about knowledge or policy or anything like that. It’s an identity. “Leftism is what good people do. I am a good person. I support leftism, whatever that is. Oh, this is what leftism is today? I had no idea, but I’m a good person so of course I support it.”

      • rhywun

        Plus, like most rich people, she’s completely ignorant of what’s going on in the real world.

        (or what slum says down there)

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        I would bet dollars to donuts that she doesn’t deal with either money or gov’t, as she has someone to do that for her. And that is why she has no idea of either the taxes or the regulations. She flies to Aspen when the house is being remodeled. She has the money for taxes pulled from an account that is solely for this (and she only pays a little due to most money coming from dividends and other sheltered amounts.)

    • Fourscore

      She does look good but she’s regressing into child like stupidity

      She’d be at home in Minnesoda though. We love us lots of rules/regulations.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        She’d be at home in Minnesoda though. We love us lots of rules/regulations.

        Good Lord, the congresslady in the Minneapolis suburbs wishing to outlaw small internal combustion engines. Does she not realize that an electric chainsaw isn’t going to supply your wood stove for the winter? No she doesn’t. She has city natural gas and servants to mow the lawn. She’s better than you.

    • slumbrew

      In her case, I suspect it’s less the leftism as being really fucking rich – it’s not like she would ever have to deal with inspectors when replacing a garage door.

      • R C Dean

        You might be surprised at the degree to which rich people can be concerned with the details of things like getting a new garage door. “Goddammit, why is this taking so long? Why does this cost so much?” Being rich doesn’t necessarily mean you are indifferent to things like this.

      • slumbrew

        Fair – I know enough rich people to know that most don’t like getting fucked over anymore than plebs.

        I’ll amend that to “really fucking rich lifelong hot chick”; I’m certain she was never one to sweat the details, someone else always took care of that.

  9. Tres Cool

    So I had a project scheduled this week that’s east of Cleveland. Its been postponed.
    Something about “lake effect snow” and there’s currently around 48″ of it on their roof.
    Huh.

    • Nephilium

      The Lake Effect snow is a real thing. I currently live in the area that gets the least snow. I grew up and went to high school between the orange and the red zones.

      • Fourscore

        Strange how it peters out so quickly just a few miles from the lake.

      • Nephilium

        Fourscore:

        There’s lines you can see when you’re driving when you go from a dusting of snow to drifts of snow. Right now, probably less than 30 miles away from where Tres is talking about, there’s no snow on the ground, just a light dusting on the leaves sitting on the lawn.

        The years the lake freezes over, the lake effect snow stops. The temperature drops by about 10-20 degrees, and the wind gains about 10-15 MPH.

      • Fourscore

        I saw that once on the west side of Lake Michigan, south of Milwaukee. When I first ran into in heading south on 94. I was picking up my boss and afraid of being late/getting stuck. Suddenly no snow. Later we drove around Milwaukee a few blocks from the lake everything changed. Lake Mille Lacs is big and sometimes there is some lake effect but nothing serious.

      • Fourscore

        All the local lakes are frozen now but we’ve only had about an inch of snow.

      • rhywun

        The dopes on NBC here said it well. There can be multiple feet of snow in the Southtowns (i.e. Rich Stadium or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now) and nothing in the city.

        Why they chose to build a roofless football stadium in the worst snow belt in Western New York is an exercise left to the reader.

      • R C Dean

        Well, it makes for entertaining football games.

      • rhywun

        True.

      • Mojeaux

        Setting aside the fact that a poor county doesn’t want to help a billionaire build a new stadium, and none of the eight counties around it wants to do tax revenue sharing, I don’t think ANYBODY wants a roofed Arrowhead stadium.

        Football is best played in the elements.

      • slumbrew

        They mentioned the new Bills stadium took inspiration from the new Tottenham stadium – fans mostly covered, field (and some fans) in the elements.

        I hardily approve – snow and football go together perfectly.

        As a fan – we went to a Spurs game on a cold, rainy night just about a year ago and I greatly appreciated being out of the rain.

      • slumbrew

        And they should tell those welfare queens to pay for their own damn stadia.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Open roofed stadiums give you one hell of a home field advantage this time of year.

        Especially playing any Florida Manned teams.

      • Pope Jimbo

        FourScore:

        Forget about lake effect snow. Mille Lacs is famous for Ice Shoves. Way cooler.

      • Pope Jimbo

        In regards to football stadiums, I think it was Jim Finks the Vikings GM at the time they were moving from the outdoor Met stadium to the new indoors Metrodome that said something like “It is so much easier to sell luxury boxes for an outdoor stadium”.

        I also remember the Vikes always beating the Rams in the ’70s because they were used to playing in extreme cold and the Rams weren’t.

      • rhywun

        lol It travels across the Adirondacks? OK then. 🙄

  10. Mojeaux

    My husband informs me we are to root for the 49ers.

    • rhywun

      No comment.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, I mean, I had to ask, so I’m not totally OPPOSED to rooting for the Bills.

      • rhywun

        🙂

  11. cyto

    News services are reporting that Biden pardoned his son for petty gun violations.

    This is not true.

    He pardoned him of anything and everything from 2014 to today.

    He pardoned him for his participation in a bribery scheme. Point blank.

    And this is not what is being reported.

    • Sensei

      Do you want to see my shocked face…. MSM do something like that?

    • R C Dean

      Also, for uncounted drug crimes and pedophilia. At least, the federal charges.

      It’s good to be the king(‘s son).

    • creech

      My local ABC News did report it as a blanket 10 year pardon.

      • slumbrew

        Per AP

        The president’s sweeping pardon covers not just the gun and tax offenses against the younger Biden, but also any other “offenses against the United States which he has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 1, 2014 through December 1, 2024.”

      • rhywun

        Outragous.

  12. cyto

    When I was a kid we lived in Grand Rapids Michigan for a while. Lake effect snow? Oh, yeah.

    The back of our house had a daylight basement. Our lot backed up onto a huge field. Snow would pile up past the basement and onto the deck off the first floor – about 9 or 10 feet.

    We never had a Snow day, to my knowledge, although sometimes folks would be late if the plow didn’t get around in time and the Snow was a couple of feet deep.

    • rhywun

      I grew up in Rochester NY. We had lots of snow days. They would just be made up in June as a matter of course.

  13. Chafed

    Rhywun I hope you are watching SNF.

    • rhywun

      🤘

      • Chafed

        Enjoy your early Christmas.

  14. Gender Traitor

    It would be nice if Trump would issue some pardons on his way back in… (A girl can dream, can’t she?)
    As for Biden,

    “From the day I took office, I said I would not interfere with the Justice Department’s decision-making, and I kept my word even as I have watched my son being selectively, and unfairly, prosecuted,” the president’s statement read.

    “He di’n’t do nuffin!” 🙄

    • rhywun

      Is there anything stopping a pres from pardoning any time xe wants?

      • Chafed

        Xe needs to actually be in office. After that, it’s a very expansive power.

  15. R C Dean

    If Trump doesn’t pardon the J6 defendants pretty much en masse shortly after taking office, it will be hard for me to reach any conclusion other than, he isn’t serious about tearing down the Swamp. I don’t want a fucking commission that will review each case and take months or years to make a recommendation. I want a blanket pardon that says “The following are hereby pardoned of any and all crimes they have been, or may be, accused of, related in any way to the events of January 6, 2020” followed by a list of names.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, any obvious political prisoners freed toot suite. Some I guess were violent. It should not be hard to determine which are which.

      • slumbrew

        Agreed, free everyone save those who actually were convicted of violent crimes. And revisit those sentences – no 30 year sentences for simple assault.

      • CPRM

        You know who else didn’t spend 30 years in prison?! Hitler! You don’t support Hitler, do you ?!

    • Gender Traitor

      “Every one of these Americans is someone’s son or daughter.”

      • CPRM

        So was Hitler! Do support HITLER?!

  16. CPRM

    Biden did the THING!

    • Ted S.

      The thing that goes up?

  17. SarumanTheGreat

    I don’t see how Kord & company could be held responsible for the attack. I would have thought it would have been the Empire’s responsibility to safeguard their guests, which they obviously failed to do. The Lawgiver’s actions seem about as reasonable as Judge Marchan’s in the infamous bank fraud case. But then I’m no Byzantine lawyer.

    Now that Kord knows more about who he is, it’s time he stops being passive in the face of events and imposing his will on others.

    I look forward to next week’s turn of events.

    • UnCivilServant

      “It’s not as if you knew they were going to attack,” Partanen chuckled. “Besides, this isn’t even that much of a mess.”

      “Are you kidding?”

      “It’s just politics.”

    • Sean

      Hey, hey, hey.

  18. Sean

    It’s fucking cold outside. Where’s my global warming?

    Get up and kick some frozen ass, people!

    🌄✊👢🍑

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vZic9ZHU_40

    Reaching back a bit farther this morning. 🎶🎶

    • UnCivilServant

      🤔

      21 degrees, but it is supposed to reach 36 later.

      I might need to break out a jacket.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Sean, U, and Ted’S.!

        18 degrees here (“Feels like 12”) and clear. I’m almost certainly going to have to scrape rock-hard frost off my car windows. 😒❄

      • UnCivilServant

        I made it to the office, despite them closing a bridge at an inopportune spot.

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, that was inconsiderate of them! Was there any warning of the closure?

      • UnCivilServant

        Nope, the signs appeared sometime overnight.

      • Rat on a train

        closing a bridge at an inopportune spot
        the middle?

      • UnCivilServant

        A couple of blocks out from the end in either direction.

    • Rat on a train

      At least there’s an atmosphere, more or less.

      • Gender Traitor

        Silly joke heard from a learning disabled high school kid years ago:

        Q: Why are there no good restaurants on the moon?

        A: No atmosphere.

    • R.J.

      36 degrees this morning. Finally a chill in the air. It will probably ve 68 F later.

    • Ownbestenemy

      17 with windchill at 11.

  19. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Hunter Biden for President 2028
    “A coke straw in every nostril.”

    I can’t get too worked up over this pardon, just a father proctecting a son who was largely in trouble for acting on his behalf from prison. Of course he can’t plead the 5th now but I’d imagine all the Hunter stuff is now over.

    • robodruid

      Agreed, but i am hopeful that Trump can effectively use his powers of pardon.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Definitely: The J 6ers who weren’t truly violent, Ulbricht, Assange, Snowden, and any of his political allies that got twisted up by motivated Democratic partisan prosecutors, Roger Stone who can be a jackass but still, for example. The list is long and we shall see.

  20. Fourscore

    Starting today Hunter has to take responsibility for his own actions. Life ain’t always easy for presidential kids.

    One of Obama’s girls got in trouble for smoking a (gasp) cigarette, one of Junior Bushes’ kids was seen publicly enjoying an adult beverage, as I recall.

    What about that?

  21. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    TALL ERIE CANS!

  22. cavalier973

    Trump needs to pardon the J6rs who were violent, as well.

    They wouldn’t have been violent if Team Biden hadn’t committed massive voter fraud. It’s like having to kill your cell mate while you’re in prison for a crime you didn’t commit.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its an obvious PR move in my opinion. Dem strategist still know they have the legacy media to carry their water. We got a light smattering of news on Biden’s Hunter pardon, maybe half a news cycle more. Trump will do what pretty much everyone thinks he will or hopes he will and the news will run it as the new J6 for 4 years on how it was lawlessness.

    • The Hyperbole

      Nope, you don’t get to commit vandalism and assault just because you lost an election and think you got cheated. The prison analogy is a poor one, in that case you it would still need to be self-defense, you couldn’t just kill your cellmate because your angry at the system.

      • UnCivilServant

        But enough about the Capital police and Fed agitators.

      • Ted S.

        The punishments have been thoroughly disproportionate compared to greenies committing vandalism and unlawful detention.

        Time served is mire than enough, and they shouldn’t have the stigma of having a conviction on their record going forward.

    • R C Dean

      Pardon them all. It’s a political prosecution, and a political pardon, so send a political message: this kind of crap by the Blob won’t be tolerated.

  23. rhywun

    Actual snowing 😮