Monday Morning Links

by | Mar 11, 2024 | Daily Links | 233 comments

Greetings from America’s Wang, where Spring Break has started bringing in foreign bodies like genital warts. Oh, and totally unrelated, I believe Sloopy, Banjos and family are heading this way, too. But they’re not Yankees or Canucks, even if Sloopy was looking for a Skyline “Chili” in the area they’ll be staying, and found one. He’s a tOSU fan, so I already knew he had poor taste. Kids are off from school, so this week is going to be interesting. Maybe I’ll find a Goldeneye clone somewhere and teach them how we killed a week back in the day. I also learned that my not quite two year old has a takeoff that can rival Xavier Worthy, but his top end is limited by his short legs, luckily. I forgot how quick they can change directions on those tiny legs.

There was more testosterone in this women’s basketball game than the average men’s soccer game.

Baker Mayfield won the lottery. $100M? Fuck. I mean, good for him. I believe he has as many playoff wins as Lamar Jackson, so I guess its not completely unfounded.

I think some people huffed more leaded gas fumes than others.

Also, I guess the movie industry had a circle jerk last night.

Apparently this album is 35 years old now. Holy shit.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

233 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    Greetings from America’s Wang, where Spring Break has started bringing in foreign bodies like genital warts.

    Fugly and stupid people acting like idiots…

    That’s the fun shit according to everyone.

    • Not Adahn

      ISTR hot coeds acting like idiots, but it was a different time then.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        ISTR hot, after my seventh beer, coeds acting like idiots. FIFY. 😉

      • Not Adahn

        I was lucky enough to have colleged before HAES was a thing, and body shame kept the non-hotties indoors.

      • Not Adahn

        Or, it’s possible I had really low standards.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And?

    • Lackadaisical

      ‘Fugly and stupid people acting like idiots…’

      And then there’s spring break too deal with too.

  2. AlexinCT

    Also, I guess the movie industry had a circle jerk last night.

    Let me guess… Lots of virtue signaling by some of the dumbest fucks ever to live?

    I bet even the numbers for whom supposedly watches this shit is bogus.

    • The Other Kevin

      I love that they’re all black. And contrary to lefty opinion, the left are the only ones who see a problem with this.

      • AlexinCT

        Wanting to live in a safe society doesn’t care much about skin color. It always surprises me how leftists don’t get that point when they scream for police, the ones that actually protect the people that need it the most from the predators amongst them, be defunded….

  3. juris imprudent

    For people born in the 1960s and the 1970s, when leaded gas consumption was skyrocketing, the IQ loss was estimated to be up to 6 points and for some, more than 7 points.

    Piling on Gen X again eh?

    • Rat on a train

      Later generations had to get their lead from municipal water.

      • Sean

        What about the lead painter eaters?

      • Sean

        *paint

      • Nephilium

        In the right neighborhoods around me, you can get it from the dirt too.

      • slumbrew

        This area was light industrial back in the day. You wanna stick with raised beds for any veggies you grow here.

      • AlexinCT

        Or eating paint chips off the walls…

      • Not Adahn

        New housing stock never had it. Which is why the older (east coast) parts of the country are so much more full of idiots.

      • AlexinCT

        Damn, that makes fucking sense…

      • Ownbestenemy

        I never understood this. Yes children put all kinds of things in their mouths..but I cannot see how this was some great epidemic of the ages. I mean, do kids still eat paint chips off the walls of unleaded paint?

      • UnCivilServant

        To be honest, I’m not sure if unleaded formulations even turn to chips. Well, maybe they turn to peels, but the aging behavior I see from unleaded paint just looks different.

      • Not Adahn

        The big thing is that lead salts taste sweet, so it incentivizes toddlers to eat more of them.

      • ron73440

        I had a friend from Chicago and his nephew was borderline retarded.

        His family said it was from paint chips.

        What a nightmare that would be.

    • R C Dean

      “Leaded gas was banned in 1996, but exposure to the poison cost people born before then several IQ points on average, researchers estimated.”

      So what’s the excuse for those born after 1996?

      • AlexinCT

        Liberal wokism would be my guess. And I bet it was also responsible for most of the losses before regardless of how bad they want to hide that by blaming other shit.

      • Suthenboy

        I was well into adulthood before I realized just how far back the marxist/commie shit goes. Someone around here mentioned a few days ago that the biggest revelation that came from the fall of the USSR was that there were more commies in the west than in Russia and the eastern bloc.

      • DrOtto

        Banned in 1996, but very hard to find after 1990. They had been reducing the levels of lead in it and it became the more expensive option than unleaded and so people quit buying it on their own (imagine that) with the exception of a few old timers/gear heads putting it in their classics/hot rods. I only know of one or two stations still selling leaded “off road use only” racing gas by 1994.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I think cars in ’76 were all mandated ‘Unleaded Only’; I could still get Leaded for my ’67 Galaxie/’72 Mustang until maybe 85?

      • Necron 99

        They were taught by the gas huffers and paint chip eaters.

  4. juris imprudent

    in this women’s basketball game

    I didn’t read that any knives got pulled, and that is just a part of girlhood, right?

    • Ownbestenemy

      ji reaching waaaaaay back for that one and it was worth it.

    • Tres Cool

      + nappy headed ho’s

      D. Imus

  5. AlexinCT

    It looks like Peter Zeihan’s “The End of the World Is Just the Beginning” was far more accurate in it’s predictions than I gave it credit. Especially when I see shit like this. The old world order is fragmenting.

    • Drake

      I didn’t know that they use fresh water in the Panama Canal.

      • UnCivilServant

        Seawater is brutally corrosive, the effort to get fresh water in a tropical jungle is worth not having to constantly replace major componants of the locks.

      • AlexinCT

        Desalinate the shit. It is cheaper than what they are doing…

      • UnCivilServant

        Your link won’t load at work.

      • AlexinCT

        It’s a link to an archive system…

        Guess government doesn’t want you to have access to shit that is archived because you would miss out on the edits that the usual people always end up doing later when they tell us the usual pro team blue lies.

      • juris imprudent

        It isn’t a sea-level passage; they’d have to pump water up versus using inland freshwater sources.

    • R C Dean

      I’ve only seen a little bit of Zeihan’s online commentary, but there’s something about him that just doesn’t sit square.

      • juris imprudent

        I think he’s stretched out beyond his real competence. A few years ago he stuck to what he really knew.

      • Swiss Servator

        His main thing, IIRC, is banging the doom drum on China – he has them back in the Stone Agre in short order.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He had bitcoin going to $0 a year ago. That prediction didn’t age well.

  6. Drake

    …the fastest 40-yard dash time in NFL Combine history

    Because Bo Jackson didn’t go to a combine. The scouts timed him at the Auburn track.

    • TARDis

      Since the great exodus of 2020, we have 25% more people and our output is about 25% less. What a bargain.

      • AlexinCT

        If your goal is the collectivist model of make work – you know, where the turd polisher gets paid just as much as the doctor, airline pilot, engineer, or rocket scientists, because all labor is equal – then this tradeoff sounds like a great step in that direction….

        The evil and destruction is the end goal.

    • Fourscore

      Government/wet dreams

    • Suthenboy

      So, mission accomplished.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s funny, I don’t remember him mentioning that at SOTU.

    • Not Adahn

      Honestly, if the conspiracy theory isn’t entertaining, I’m not intetrested.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Upsetting the worst people is never a bad thing.

  7. AlexinCT

    I think the major story when you get shit like this, is how so many of the other criminal enterprises these crooks run never get get caught, or if they do, it is after they have been used to rig shit.

    Speaking of which, is that crypto currency idiot that team blue used to funnel so much of the money the government sent to Ukraine for their war effort back mostly into team blue campaign coffers, but old legacy team Trump hating reds too, in jail yet, or have they dropped the remaining charges too? Sam Bankman-Fried already had all the charges that would expose the money laundering dropped by the Obama 3.0 DOJ, and his parents kept telling everyone he would not survive white collar prison, so I wouldn’t be surprised he will skate. After all, he is a crook for the good cause.

    • R C Dean

      “The founder of LGBTQ+ nonprofit Casa Ruby will spend the weekend in jail, after being on the run abroad for nearly two years. A federal judge delayed ruling on whether Ruby will stay in jail until trial.”

      Now why would you even consider releasing someone who spent three years hiding overseas, before their trial?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lets see..tresspass on the sacred Capitol grounds and turn yourself in peacefully; no bail (cause you know..2022 elections were coming up!) — flee the country from your crimes, drunk-tank treatment with a promise. The whole thing needs to burn down.

      • AlexinCT

        The whole thing needs to burn down.

        I am afraid that you are correct and that there is no cure for the infestation other than cleansing by fire.

    • Not Adahn

      Instead, prosecutors said Corado sent more $300,000 from the Casa Ruby bank account to a personal bank account in El Salvador under her birth name.

      Don’t you mean xer DEAD NAME?!??! Throw xer in prison for life for deadnaming xerself!

    • slumbrew

      Prettyman Federal Courthouse

      Tell me again we’re not in a simulation

  8. Sensei

    I’m not a fan of argument by analogy, but this is on point.

    Here’s a poser to consider for 2025: What if Donald Trump is elected again and decides to send the military to prevent crime or control riots in America’s streets? Wouldn’t half of America lose its collective mind about the supposed threat to democracy?

    Yet that’s essentially what New York Gov. Kathy Hochul did this week in dispatching the state National Guard to patrol New York City’s subways to reduce crime.

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/kathy-hochul-national-guard-subways-crime-police-new-york-1ed60821?st=iao1nqh902c41q0&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    • Ownbestenemy

      The correct-think person did it — move on bro…move on.

    • The Other Kevin

      All those think pieces predicting crazy shit Trump will do drives me crazy. They keep stoking fear and it’s going to get someone killed. Probably a lot of someones.

      • AlexinCT

        Fear sells…

        And creating an enemy you can blame for your own mistakes sells even bigger…

        Low information voters get a twofer. They get to blame someone else for their idiocy and have an enemy to boot. Thomas Sowell has repeatedly and far more eloquently pointed out the masses care not about facts or reason as much as the ability to have heroes and villains..

  9. cavalier973

    It’s not leaded gasoline, or lead paint, or any other scary substance. Its not tobacco or marijuana or high fructose corn syrup.

    It’s the fluoride they put in everyone’s water.

    *adjusts tinfoil hat*

    • R C Dean

      + 1 precious bodily fluid

    • DrOtto

      This is the correct libertarian position.

      • Sean

        Not chemtrails?

      • Swiss Servator

        *squints suspiciously*

        What do you think the chemtrails are made of?

      • UnCivilServant

        Water Vapor.

        The whole Chemtrail conspiracy is actually to make people afraid of the wrong thing to not notice the actual source of contamination.

  10. AlexinCT

    Oh yeah, I prolly missed you all saying this yesterday, so let me stir it all up again: Fuck Daylight Savings.

    • The Other Kevin

      Agreed. I was feeling really good last week going to the gym at 6am and seeing the sun rise. Today it was dark.

  11. juris imprudent

    Just the headline is so dumb that I say fuck this country if this is what people really think.

    Biden to urge Congress to lower health care costs during New Hampshire visit

    • Drake

      Unless he’s trying to get Obamacare repealed. I want my 2007 HMO back.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, you can’t unclick that ratchet just one or two settings – you got to let it unwind completely. Like change the tax law on health insurance – make it individual instead of employer only.

        The bigger problem is Medicare and I got to say, so far I’m pretty happy with it, so changing that is going to be really hard.

      • The Last American Hero

        Well sure, who doesn’t like somebody else subsidizing the bill. The user experience for medicare is generally fine. It’s the absurd cost that is the issue.

      • juris imprudent

        And the user experience happens to be in a class of people most likely to vote, while the cost is spread around those least likely to vote. It’s almost perfect.

    • ron73440

      On the side of that article was an ad saying the ACIP recommends the COVID jab for 6 months and older.

      They cannot be serious, but we know they are.

      • AlexinCT

        They need your ready to comply so when they do roll out the murder shot, you just take it.

    • The Other Kevin

      Let me guess, spend an extra trillion, which will drive up inflation but save people $50 a year on their meds.

      Another thing I hate about Biden (let me count the ways) is how he claims he “beat big pharma.” They had to go to the Supreme Court because he wanted to mandate the vax for everyone. Big pharma made billions off those vaxes, by far the highest profits they’d ever seen. But he beat them by making them lower the cost of one thing. I’m sensing a thing with him, cost tax payers thousands and save them hundreds, and call it a win.

  12. juris imprudent

    How deplorable!

    The setup:

    Republican Mark Robinson is facing growing scrutiny over his history of controversial comments as he looks to flip the North Carolina governor’s mansion.

    and the delivery:

    Robinson rose to prominence in 2018, after giving a speech in defense of the Second Amendment. In his speech, Robinson claimed that law-abiding gun owners are “the first ones taxed and the last ones considered and the first ones punished” when mass shootings happen.

    • UnCivilServant

      What’s controvertial? That speech was what got him elected to his current office. Clearly it resonates with the electorate.

      • juris imprudent

        WRONG-THINK!!! WRONG-THINK YOU DEPLORABLE!!!!

      • The Other Kevin

        It might have won over his voters, but the out of state Democrats didn’t like it and that’s what counts.

  13. Ownbestenemy

    So, they don’t move on it and come August Biden will drop a EO wishing it so — courts smack it down — and HHS gives them the middle finger and does it anyway. Worked for the loans and the people will all be on their knees praying to their governmental masters for their benevolent grace.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Supposed to be a reply to JI…

      • AlexinCT

        But hey, Trump is the one that is going to come after Muh Democracy… And by democracy they don’t mean the people’s ability to pick their leaders, but that unelected corrupt and bloated government machine that has been wiping their asses with our constitution.

    • AlexinCT

      The thing that kills me is that this stuff was happening all the time before the murdering maniacs decided it would be good for their brand to go into Israel and rape and kill civilians and post that shit on the internets. It was just covered up by the usual suspects whose jobs it was to make team blue look good and blame team red for all things evil.

  14. PieInTheSky

    Sloopy and Banjos left me the keys today, and I’m going to do my best – again posted early … you Americans…

    • AlexinCT

      Why no love, homie?

    • UnCivilServant

      Look, The clocks changed against our will, we’re just stuck with the numbers presented by the Computer Overlords.

      • PieInTheSky

        well have them at least change on the correct date.

  15. robc

    EPL relegation update, with 10/11 games to go (+ is move up a category since last week):

    Mathematically safe: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester City, Aston Villa+
    Realistically safe: Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester United, West Ham United, Brighton & Hove Albion, Wolverhampton, Newcastle United
    Safe for now: Chelsea*, Fulham, AFC Bournemouth, Crystal Palace+
    Danger Zone: Brentford, Everton, Nottingham Forest, Luton Town
    Toast: Burnley, Sheffield United
    Mathematically relegated: None

    *Chelsea moves up a group with a win or draw @Newcastle today.

    • juris imprudent

      And for a change the title race is as interesting as the relegation prospects.

  16. PieInTheSky

    It’s amazing that you can apparently get this project funded if you sell it like

    “I aim to diversify skull measuring by sampling from historically marginalized, racialized, and underrepresented populations. This can explain differences between Haiti and the Dominican Republic.”

    https://twitter.com/cremieuxrecueil/status/1766942411836547201

    • AlexinCT

      I got a lot off ass when I was doing my EE master telling ladies I was writing a book on tiddies and wanted to consider theirs for a chapter…

      • PieInTheSky

        that seem implausible.

      • AlexinCT

        Seems or not, you would be surprised how many women gave me access to the goods…

    • Bobarian LMD

      Look for the ones with bite marks?

  17. PieInTheSky

    The practice of having Ph.D. graduates employed by the university that trained them, commonly called “academic inbreeding,” has long been suspected to be damaging to scholarly practices and achievement. Despite this perception, existing work on academic inbreeding is scarce and mostly exploratory. Using data from Mexico, we find evidence that, first, academic inbreeding is associated with lower scholarly output. Second, the academically inbred faculty is relatively more centered on its own institution and less open to the rest of the scientific world. This navel-gazing tendency is a critical driver of its reduced scientific output when compared with noninbred faculties. Third, we reveal that academic inbreeding could be the result of an institutional practice, such that these faculty members contribute disproportionately more to teaching and outreach activities, which allows noninbred faculty members to dedicate themselves to the research endeavor. Thus, a limited presence of inbreds can benefit the research output of noninbreds and potentially the whole university, but a dominantly inbred environment will stifle productivity, even for noninbreds. Overall, our analysis suggests that administrators and policy makers in developing nations who aim to develop a thriving research environment should consider mechanisms to limit this practice.

    https://pubsonline.informs.org/doi/10.1287/mnsc.1090.1109

    • AlexinCT

      Not all PhDs are made the same…

      In fact, not all degrees are either.

      And the fact that these schools can charge kids the same to give them a shitty degree (regardless of the college in question’s reputation) as they would for the degrees that actually give you a chance to make bank, is galling.

  18. Sean

    I played https://squaredle.com/xp 03/11:
    *19/19 words (+8 bonus words)
    📖 In the top 1% by bonus words

    I played https://squaredle.com 03/11:
    *26/26 words (+7 bonus words)
    ⏱️ In the top 8% by speed
    🔥 Solve streak: 169

    • PieInTheSky

      3 out of 11 does not seem a good score.

  19. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Computer chips and DEI: “ and train lots of women and people of color, as well as “justice-involved individuals,”

    There’s nothing with involving ex cons who show a genuine desire through their actions to lead productive lives but the left has carried it into the realm of making violent repeat felons a protected class which is retarded. Maybe they can compete to hire that Joe Rogan ex con guest they caught with someone’s head in his freezer, he’d be a benefit to any organization.

    • Ownbestenemy

      “justice-involved”…no, just no.

    • R C Dean

      “justice-involved individuals,”

      So, cops, judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys?

      Of course, the real stolen base is using “justice” to refer to our Carceral-Industrial Complex.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    This is how you do propaganda folks. That isn’t reporting, that is taking the ball from the WH staffers that can’t string together a coherent thought and taking it to the end-zone.

    • Sensei

      That’s the usual thing that frustrates the left.

      Their standard complaint is flyover gets all these “benefits” from FedGov, but they aren’t appreciative.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’d argue that’s not how you do propaganda, they’re essentially stating that the expenditures are a vote buying scheme although it’s by implication. It is slick, I’ll give that, but is anyone’s mind being changed?

    • AlexinCT

      I have mentioned this before, but I think our biggest problem as a society today, a result of the marxist DEI/CRT campaign shift away from competency to some other standard based on pure idiocy, is that the various entities that have adopted this shit went from spending the bulk of their time trying to solve problems, to spending 125% of their time managing the perception convincing people that they are fucking up shit (when they are). Maybe it is all a social media phenom, but fixing things is no longer as important as gaslighting idiots into believing broken shit is working great and as intended.

      • Sean

        I look forward to more planes falling out of the sky and bridges falling down. Yay, progress!

      • AlexinCT

        You will be labeled the evil/bad guy for noticing and understanding the reason….

    • Drake

      With Nuland gone, he’s in the spotlight more? Might use that change to distance themselves from the Ukraine and work on starting wars elsewhere.

      • The Other Kevin

        There are still conference rooms full of Nulands running the show.

  21. prolefeed

    Mrs Prole and I tried to watch “Poor Things” last night, which was a heavily nominated Oscar’s favorite.

    I oscillated between being actively annoyed at the Weird For The Sake of Weirdness, and trying not to fall asleep. We pulled the plug on that POS maybe ten, fifteen minutes in.

    The fuck is wrong with the Oscar judges?

    Then we switched to watching the TV series Extraordinary, which was hilariously weird and funny. Waaaay better.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I enjoyed ‘The Gentlemen’ on Netflix this weekend and ended up binging all 8 episodes.

      Guy Ritchie “re-imagined” the movie. Different story with a lot of the same pieces. Kinda like the ‘Fargo’ TV series.

  22. Suthenboy

    There is testosterone in men’s soccer?
    Flau’jay?
    This is what happens when a society is demoralized. Barbarism ensues.

    Who? Good for them. I guess.

    Researchers estimated? Got it.

    Wow. A Monday, the sun is barely up and I am already spitting nails. What the hell? I thought I slept well.

    • AlexinCT

      That’s cause most internet usage is Scheiße Porn.

  23. Sensei

    D E I will be the remaining 40%.

    Last week, Boeing told staff it was changing how it determines pay for tens of thousands of nonunion employees—from mechanics in South Carolina to its top brass. Quality measures, such as reducing traveled work, will now determine 60% of the annual bonuses for those working on its commercial aircraft.

    https://www.wsj.com/business/airlines/behind-the-alaska-blowout-a-manufacturing-habit-boeing-cant-break-c05a2ba5?st=3x0dmrre99ezzwe&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    • PieInTheSky

      The referenda here have been the best case-study yet of the gap between Citizens’ Assemblies and the Citizens Assembled.

      Irish citizens have rejected the Amendments by 68% and 74%, yet the “Citizens’ Assembly” that proposed the amendments supported them by 93.3% and 98.9%…

      • juris imprudent

        The Citizens’ Assembly was a carefully selected group clearly.

    • PieInTheSky

      “There were plotters, there was no doubt about it. Some had been ordinary people who’d had enough. Some were young people with no money who objected to the fact that the world was run by old people who were rich. Some were in it to get girls. And some had been idiots as mad as Swing, with a view of the world just as rigid and unreal, who were on the side of what they called ‘the people’. Vimes had spent his life on the streets, and had met decent men and fools and people who’d steal a penny from a blind beggar and people who performed silent miracles or desperate crimes every day behind the grubby windows of little houses, but he’d never met The People.

      People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.
      As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up. What would run through the streets soon enough wouldn’t be a revolution or a riot. It’d be people who were frightened and panicking. It was what happened when the machinery of city life faltered, the wheels stopped turning and all the little rules broke down. And when that happened, humans were worse than sheep. Sheep just ran; they didn’t try to bite the sheep next to them.”

      • AlexinCT

        The people that want to believe government – and then government of the inept and petty people that are attracted to government, of all things – can give them heaven on earth, will never become dissuade of their notion regardless of how often you show them that you can’t ignore human nature, basic physics, chemistry, or biology, and most important of all, the laws of economics.

      • Seguin

        Which one was this? Pratchett’s Vimes novels (pun not intended) are generally his best – although Wyrd Sisters and Small Gods are my two favorites.

      • Nephilium

        From memory, I’d say Night Watch. One of the plots in there is dealing with the Glorious Revolution.

        Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I think the Irish are fairly annoyed with their government what with Sein-frickin-Finn telling them they need to accept a bunch of foreigners coming to their shores. So they may be disinclined to do anything that the government wants to do.

  24. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Apropos of nothing, I am watching a doc on the rise and fall of NORTEL, and… holy crap what a mess.

  25. Sensei

    I hadn’t contemplated this:

    The night was chilly and very dark, with no moon, so rather than walk, Chao got in her Tesla Model X SUV for the four-minute trip back to the house.

    The account of what happened to Angela Chao that weekend is based on interviews with people close to Chao and her family, county officials who were briefed on what happened or were there, as well as reviews of law-enforcement documents.

    Within minutes of saying her goodbyes, she called one of her friends in a panic. While making a three-point turn, she had put the car in reverse instead of drive, she said. It is a mistake she had made before with the Tesla gearshift. The car had zipped backward, tipping over an embankment and into a pond. It was sinking fast. Could they help her?

    If it’s a new Model X part of this can be blamed on Musk’s insistence that every stalk including the drive selector be done on the ******* screen. But the electric door releases, electric windows and double laminated side windows are more and more common on mid level and luxury cars. I DO find it hard to believe EMS or folks on a ranch couldn’t find something to push a laminated side window out of its frame.

    https://www.wsj.com/real-estate/angela-chao-death-texas-tesla-safety-c435daa0?st=xm7le8630hrkkj8&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    • AlexinCT

      User error is user error…

      I have a suspicions that even if this had been a conventional car, the end result would have been the same after the user error happened that got her vehicle in the pond. Panicking in a life or death situation usually means you are kissing your ass goodbye.

    • R C Dean

      We read the full article. Apparently the car flipped over, but the water was shallow enough that rescue personnel could stand on it. It was also apparently too far out in the pond for a tow truck to reach (not that that would have saved her, by that point), so she must have been really moving when she launched. I have little doubt that someone standing on the car swinging a sledge or a pick couldn’t have broken a window, but it takes time to come up with a heavy long-handled tool. I don’t know how long it took the cabin to fill with water, but I doubt there was much chance at all she could have been rescued.

      • Sensei

        Private property – gathering with friends. From the picture looks like a good bit off the road.

        I suspect some drinks were involved. Just a sad story.

      • R C Dean

        They were on a ranch in the Hill Country. Emergency response is going to take some time. They were at the main ranch compound, so not exactly back-country.

      • Sensei

        By off road – I meant where the pond is in relationship to where she was trying to turn around.

        However, what I thought was a picture of the wreck was a structure in the photo in the article. So disregard that and carry on!

      • Not Adahn

        so she must have been really moving when she launched.

        Tesla’s launch speed is a feature. Dunno if plaid mode is inhibited in reverse or not.

      • Sensei

        No, but the speedometer works in reverse!

        (This happens on more than just Tesla. Since the speedo is now purely an electronic indicator that gets it’s input from the ECU.)

    • PieInTheSky

      I accidentally had the car in reverse when going forward but went back less than half a meter fore realizing. I don’t see myself ending up in a pond.

      • robc

        I have done it plenty of times, .5 meters is way too long. About .5 inches is normal.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Asian drivers.

    • Sean

      His plan would raise the corporate tax rate to 28 percent from 21 percent.

      JFC. How’s that gonna help inflation? 🙄

    • PieInTheSky

      You sgould not tax the rich you should expropriate all their wealth. It is only fair.

      cut $3trillion of the deficit in 10 years – this don’t seem much of a dent in the deficit

    • UnCivilServant

      Let me guess – no spending cuts

    • Drake

      “25% tax hike on billionaires”

      What does that even mean? A new tax bracket on anyone earning $1Billion in a year (nobody)? A tax on their assets (unconstitutional)?

      • Ownbestenemy

        unconstitutional

        *snickers*

      • Drake

        Unlike you and me, billionaires have a staffs of accountants, lawyers, and lobbyists.

      • Sensei

        “That’s hard to countenance based on his pitch for a new 25% minimum tax on “1,000 billionaires,” which he defines to include Americans with more than $100 million in wealth. The tax would be applied to unrealized capital gains, even if no income has been produced. This is a wealth tax by another name. He says it would raise $500 billion over 10 years, which assumes those 1,000 people won’t find somewhere else to put their money.”

        https://www.wsj.com/articles/joe-biden-second-term-tax-increase-state-of-the-union-ad7c137d?st=ewbjoa7ctoqfx9m&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

      • PieInTheSky

        calling unrealized cap gains income works well for the moron demographic

      • AlexinCT

        Envy is by far the most active of the seven sins…..

      • The Other Kevin

        And once he gets a wealth tax, it will never be used on anyone besides billionaires.

      • PieInTheSky

        nonsense everyone with sense knows the slippery slope is a totes fallacy and never ever ever happened ever

      • Seguin

        100 million.
        Billionaires.

        Yup, words mean nothing.

      • Not Adahn

        A decibillionaire is a type of bllionaire!

      • Urthona

        This tax is expected to raise enough to fund the government for 2-3 days.

        It’s purely vindictive.

      • juris imprudent

        What good is power if we don’t use it to punish those we don’t like?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        He also called for raising the IRA’s book minimum tax on large corporations to 21% from 15%. This tax is levied on the profits that companies report on their financial statements, which excludes many deductions. It’s separate from a 21% global minimum tax, which would subsidize foreign governments that want to tax U.S. multinationals more.

        Just slap a tax rate on GAAP income and call it a day. Oh I see, it’s not actually about raising revenue.

    • The Other Kevin

      Hahahaha. As if they will use any of that money (if they ever collect it) to pay down debt, and not on new spending.

      • AlexinCT

        More vote buying!

    • The Last American Hero

      It’s the age of the audience that drives that more than the age of the artist. Countless artists have put out excellent work late in their career, but popular tastes have generally moved on by then and the music buying, concert going crowd wants the next new thing.

  26. The Other Kevin

    I had a pretty nice hockey weekend. I played and won two games Saturday, and got to chat with the owner of the Chicago Blackhawks for a while.

    • PieInTheSky

      how many people did you punch in the face? I hope at least 2

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m not that kind of player, Pie. In fact I’m often perplexed when my teammates complain about how dirty the other team is playing, and I hardly notice. We did have one of our young players get mad at someone for grabbing or punching him, and he mimed hitting the guy with his stick. The ref (someone he know) came over and told him he was lucky he wasn’t getting ejected from the game for that.

      • PieInTheSky

        but I thought it was an essential part of hockey, on par with using a puck.

  27. Common Tater

    “New York City has quietly approved a controversial green plan to require pizzerias and matzah bakeries using decades-old wood- and coal-fired stoves to cut their smoky pollutants by 75%.

    Mayor Eric Adams’ Department of Environmental Protection said the fresh edict takes effect April 27, with some city businesses having already coughed up more than $600,000 for new smoke-eating systems in anticipation of the expected mandate….

    The scientific evidence is clear that reducing emissions of fine particulate matter will improve the health of New Yorkers and reduce hospital visits and costs, without changing the amazing taste of NYC pizza,” DEP rep Edward Timbers insisted in an emailed statement to The Post on Sunday.”

    https://nypost.com/2024/03/10/us-news/nyc-burns-pizzerias-with-new-rule-cutting-smoky-pollutants-by-75/

    SCIENCE!!!!!!!

    • PieInTheSky

      But Portnoy says that is what makes NY pizza good.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just mix liquid smoke in with the dough, it’ll taste fine and by fine I mean like shit. Maybe vote different next time.

      • juris imprudent

        Hey, it’s NYC – they can smear shit all over it, and they’ll eat it, based on how they vote.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Overall, the researchers from Florida State University and Duke University found, childhood lead exposure cost America an estimated 824 million points, or 2.6 points per person on average.

    Certain cohorts were more affected than others. For people born in the 1960s and the 1970s, when leaded gas consumption was skyrocketing, the IQ loss was estimated to be up to 6 points and for some, more than 7 points. Exposure to it came primarily from inhaling auto exhaust.

    That explains SCIENCE’s Great Leap Forward.

    • PieInTheSky

      i thought IQ talk was off limits same as measuring craniums

      • UnCivilServant

        Only if it indicates a difference between ethnic groups.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The leaded gas certainly had some effect but I highly suspect the methodology used for IQ drop determination is a bunch of bullshit aimed at reaching a predetermined conclusion. I’m just cynical that way I reckon.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    And, apparently, black people in America only ever lived in big city ghettos. Never on farms or in small rural towns. Talk about negative stereotyping. But that’s okay, because it’s for a good cause.

  30. PieInTheSky

    ” liberal perceivers judged a conservative job candidate to be more prejudiced than a liberal candidate, whereas conservative perceivers saw no difference between the two candidates. This result is ironic given the level of prejudice exhibited by liberals in the present study.”

    https://twitter.com/PsychRabble/status/1766985394652917781

  31. The Late P Brooks

    We don’t need to bother with a billionaire tax. The government can just start suing rich people and corporations for made-up violations.. Look how much they have gotten Trump for (so far). It will be the new paradigm.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If we allow the wealth tax camel’s nose under the tent thing for billionaires we’re all going to be fucked within a decade.

      • The Other Kevin

        For sure. Once we accept that a wealth tax is legal, there’s a 100% chance it will be used on everyone.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I wonder if we can get a deduction for unrealized losses. It’s just all such a terrible idea.

      • Sean

        “You’ll own nothing…”

      • Certified Public Asshat

        and still be taxed.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        If billionaires need to sell shares to pay for taxes on unrealized gains, the stock prices will go down, which will hurt anyone with an IRA, 401k or pension.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s true. They can get a lot more money that way. No “loopholes” as they say.

  32. Certified Public Asshat

    Maybe I’ll find a Goldeneye clone somewhere and teach them how we killed a week back in the day.

    Goldeneye is on switch online.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Dog eat dog

    Upset by the surge in union drives, several of the best-known corporations in the US are seeking to cripple the country’s top labor watchdog, the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB), by having it declared unconstitutional. Some labor experts warn that if those efforts succeed, US labor relations might return to “the law of the jungle”.

    In recent weeks, Elon Musk’s SpaceX as well as Amazon, Starbucks and Trader Joe’s have filed legal papers that advance novel arguments aimed at hobbling and perhaps shutting down the NLRB – the federal agency that enforces labor rights and oversees unionization efforts. Those companies are eager to thwart the NLRB after it accused Amazon, Starbucks and Trader Joe’s of breaking the law in battling against unionization and accused SpaceX of illegally firing eight workers for criticizing Musk.

    Roger King, a longtime management-side lawyer who is senior labor counsel for the HR Policy Association, said “it will be a lose-lose” if the federal courts overturn the 89-year-old National Labor Relations Act, which has governed labor relations since Franklin Roosevelt was president. “We’ll have the law of the jungle, the law of the streets,” King said. “It will be who has the most power. It’s potential for chaos.”

    Riots! Pinkertons! Grinding poverty! Blood in the streets!

  34. Brawndo

    “childhood lead exposure cost America an estimated 824 million points, or 2.6 points per person on average.”

    Only a journalist would think the total IQ points lost was worth mentioning.

    • Drake

      Now do the average IQ if people crossing our open border.

      • Brawndo

        Is leaded gas illegal in Mexico?

    • Urthona

      There’s also absolutely no way that is true, right?

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Some worker advocates have voiced surprise that these companies are seeking to hobble the NLRB when, in their view, the labor board is already too weak, its penalties toothless. The NLRB can’t fine companies even one dollar for breaking the law – for instance, by illegally firing workers for supporting a union.

    The law must force companies to be run for the exclusive benefit of the workers. Otherwise, it’s feudalism and slavery.

  36. Mojeaux

    Now dealing with right-sided pulsaltile tinnitus. Dr. Google says I’ll wake up dead in a year. Trying to decide whether to go to the doc or not.

    I’ve had tinnitus for years, likely brought on by NSAID use. Every so often I’d hear my heartbeat in my tinnitus, but rarely and not for long. Or else I just never noticed it. NOW, I’m annoyed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Imagine 16khz screaming in your ear,
      Forever……..
      /my entire life

      • Fourscore

        Easy-peasy. I divorced her and the noise disappeared.

    • Common Tater

      According to Web MD it’s cancer.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ouch

      • Common Tater

        According to Web MD everything is cancer.

      • Gender Traitor

        I thought it was lupus. 😕

        (Moje! Go to the doctor!)

    • db

      Savitch

      • bacon-magic

        Sammich

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Benjamin Sachs, a labor law professor at Harvard, said it’s troubling that Trader Joe’s and Starbucks, which hold themselves out as progressive, “are willing to sign on to legal theories that threaten not only labor rights, but our ability to have clean air, regulate food safety and assure safe and healthy workplaces”.

    Traitors to the cause. As anybody can tell you, unions are an unmitigated force for good. Anybody who claims to want to deal fairly with their employees outside the constraints of a union contract is a liar who merely wants to steal the labor of his employees.

  38. Pope Jimbo

    FourScore’s alma mater is classy as ever.

    Crosby-Ironton school officials say they’ve taken disciplinary action against some students for their behavior during a girls high school basketball game Wednesday night.

    Crosby-Ironton defeated Duluth Marshall in the Class 2A section semifinal game in Cloquet.

    Social media posts described Crosby-Ironton student fans taunting a Duluth Marshall player who has gone public about her mental health challenges.

    Crosby-Ironton is the one place we got crap thrown on us as we went on/off the football field. The Rangers there have always been less genteel than us nice Norwegians.

    • Fourscore

      Can’t leave Finlanders alone for a single evening

    • Sean

      Although the new non-charging policy will apply to all drivers in Cumberland County, the traffic violations in question are commonly associated with individuals who are present in the U.S. illegally and therefore cannot obtain Driver’s Licenses or vehicle registrations.

      Really takes the sting out of losing your license to a DUI, doesn’t it?

      • Nephilium

        One of the local rags has been framing this story that it’s racist, since people of color are more likely to have a suspended license due to outstanding debts (among the things that can cause your license to be suspended includes non-payment of child support). Based on this, they argue that we shouldn’t need to show ID to vote.

      • Common Tater

        A suspended license still works as ID though.

      • Nephilium

        Not according to the law, as the ID needs to be valid. However, the state does offer (as does every other one) state ID cards that aren’t drivers licenses.

      • Common Tater

        Isn’t it still valid as ID? All that information is the same.

      • Common Tater

        Having laws and not enforcing them is stupid.

      • Necron 99

        Oh, they will be enforced, but only for the wrong-think people.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t worry, it all adds up

    Like all presidential budgets, Biden’s 2025 plan is more of a wish list than it is a policy document. This year, as the president faces a likely general election rematch against Donald Trump in November, his budget is also a statement of the Biden campaign’s economic platform.

    According to the White House, the budget aims to reduce the federal deficit by $3 trillion over the next 10 years largely by imposing a minimum 25% tax rate on the unrealized income of the very wealthiest households and by reshaping the corporate tax code.

    ——-

    House Republicans tried to preempt Biden’s budget proposal last week, by passing their own 2025 budget resolution in a party-line committee vote. That proposal would aim to reduce the ballooning federal deficit by some $14 trillion over the next decade, in part by dismantling Biden’s landmark Inflation Reduction Act, which has provided massive investments in clean energy and the green economy.

    Why do I assume actual spending will not be reduced?

    • juris imprudent

      unrealized income

      Words simply have no meaning. I’m getting to where I want to kill people rather than debate them. There is no point to a debate when words have no meaning.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Biden’s landmark Inflation Reduction Act, which has provided massive investments in clean energy and the green economy.

      Imagine writing this sentence.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        AI is only dumb because it learned from humans.

    • juris imprudent

      She doesn’t know that enlisted ranks aren’t issued side-arms, does she?

    • Sean

      That video clip is ridiculous. Nothing is being prevented there.

    • Fourscore

      Slippery Slope

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Meanwhile, Biden’s reelection campaign is working relentlessly to try and convince voters that post-pandemic jumps in the cost of living are, in fact, merely a product of unfair corporate pricing tactics, the same ones that the Biden administration has been cracking down on in the past year.

    Last week, Biden announced the launch of a “Strike Force on Unfair and Illegal Pricing,” a group that will be jointly led by the Federal Trade Commission and Department of Justice. It’s goal will be to put pressure on companies to lower prices.

    “President Biden is fed up with corporate practices that unfairly raise costs for consumers,” National Economic Council Director Lael Brainard told reporters last week. “And he’s taking action.”

    Rabble-Rouser-in-Chief.

    • juris imprudent

      The problem isn’t the Rouser, it is the Rabble.

  41. Pope Jimbo

    Fuck Baker and his fat contract. Now Cousins will want a shit ton too.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Young Collectivists for Biden

    Jack Lobel is a college sophomore who will be voting in his first presidential election this fall, casting a ballot for Joe Biden.

    At 19, he’s six-plus decades Biden’s junior, which isn’t lost on him. But Lobel is spokesperson for Voters of Tomorrow, one of 15 youth organizations that announced Monday that they are jointly endorsing the reelection of the oldest president in U.S. history — defying polls consistently showing voter concerns about the 81-year-old Biden’s age.

    “If age were really a concern we would not see this much energy around these groups,” said Lobel, an urban studies major in New York. As he worked on hammering out the joint endorsement this week he was also writing a paper for his American urban politics class and taking a midterm in his voting and political behavior class.

    “President Biden comes before midterms and exams and papers,” Lobel said, only half-joking.

    In retrospect, lowering the voting age to 18 might have been a mistake.

    Oh, lordy, I crack myself up.