Italian Spiderman

by | Mar 14, 2024 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 112 comments

This is what’s it’s like when people visit me. My shoes are slip ons, so I have that going over Italian Spiderman.

Italian Spiderman

Bonus!  Dr. Shrinker, episode 1

Music!

If you loved Danger 5, you will love Italian Spiderman.  The same people wrote it, and David Ashby, who was in Danger 5, stars as Italian Spiderman himself.  He did this a few years before Danger 5.  The vibe is unmistakable.  He already had the recipe down.  Dario Russo, who directed and co-wrote Italian Spiderman was also the director for Danger 5, which also explains a lot of the cinematic similarities.  This is a good thing, I love his style.  Enjoy this bit of over-the-top macho cinema!

Dr Shrinker:  Tonight’s movie is short so I added in a little extra.  Let the puns commence!  Like Electra-Woman and Dyna Girl, I bet a lot of you have never seen this.  It is from a lost generation of TV shows which I don’t think even made it to re-runs.  Nice to see that somebody saved them.

So watch! Or don’t!  Nothing is voluntary!  Nobody says you have to be entertained! One thing is for sure, this is better than watching the news.  See you next week!

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

112 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    I’ve never seen Danger 5.

    • R.J.

      Really? Thought you had attended that post. Well, enjoy that too. It’s a big upgrade from Italian Spiderman. Amazing what an infusion of money can do for some talented folks with a dream.

      • Common Tater

        Hmmm… I don’t think so.

      • DEG

        I forget how long ago it was that RJ posted “Danger 5” here.

        I ended up watching both seasons on tubi. The first season was good, the second not so good.

      • Common Tater

        Maybe I can watch it then.

  2. R.J.

    Well, I blew the catch phrase. Hilarious! Let’s see who catches it first.

    • Common Tater

      ” Nothing is voluntary! “

      • R.J.

        Yeah. Long week. I must have subconsciously put my thoughts about work into the post.

      • The Other Kevin

        You’re just ahead of your time. Or you’re getting us ready for next week’s movie about a dystopian future.

      • Suthenboy

        I notice the future is always dystopian. Will we never get a movie portraying a future of liberty and prosperity? Free from all the evil crazies?

      • Common Tater

        Star Trek is rather utopian.

      • Suthenboy

        Fantasy Commie Trek? Uh….no.

      • Common Tater

        It’s that they are post scarcity. In the Viet Nam War allegory, Earth is the U.S., and the Federation is roughly NATO, so the communists were the bad guys. The fantasy is the Prime Directive.

      • Suthenboy

        I used the word fantasy because I always saw that as the kind of world the commies dreamt of creating. It is entirely incompatible with human nature and will never exist. Of course the villains are cast as power hungry monsters attempting to enslave all life.
        In reality it is the people dreaming of that post scarcity paradise who need more and more power over everyone to bring that world into existence and the eggs needed to make that omelet only ever increase in number.

        It is a silly fantasy on par with lions and lambs lying about together. Reality simply does not allow for it.

      • Fourscore

        C’mon, Man, CA only needs another 100B and by golly the bullet train will shoot people hither and you, get ’em to the camps faster. By the time the train is operational there will not be anyone left in CA that will ride it. Seems like it was supposed to be operational in 2008.

      • Fourscore

        hither and yon

      • Common Tater

        Yes, it’s fantasy. Heinlein, Tolkien, etc. all described things that don’t exist. There was fantasy millennia before Marx was born. That doesn’t make it “commie”. Roddenberry was an atheist, but I don’t know what his politics were.

      • cavalier973

        Back to the Future part 2, before Marty steals the sports almanac.

      • Grumbletarian

        Too many fax machines to be utopia.

  3. Common Tater

    “Nice to see that somebody saved them.”

    Last I heard, no one can find Filipino Batman.

    • R.J.

      *Rolls up sleeves

      • Common Tater

        Any luck? Justin Whang did a video about it, and even with all his fans couldn’t find it.

  4. Aloysious

    Is there any non-binary female empowerment and gender fluid representation in this flick? For tonight, I’m identifying as the Modern Audience, and microaggressions might make me clutch my pearls and faint. Especially if I see the Male Gaze being deployed.

    • R.J.

      Oh, you are in trouble then.
      I think my favorite is when he tells women to go make him a macchiato and the punches them. He does it repeatedly.

      • Aloysious

        I was going to write a strongly worded letter to my representative, but now I’m puzzled. How did these studly Italian menfolk manage to steal all of my best dance moves?

  5. Aloysious
    • R.J.

      You might want to just put on that bump stock you hid from the government last year. You’ll be triggered repeatedly every second.

      • Aloysious

        I be this triggered.

    • Common Tater

      What is wrong with Boeing?

      • R.J.

        I don’t know, but signing up to be a Boeing incident investigator would be a solid gig for a while.

      • Suthenboy

        DEI. You have to ask?

      • Common Tater

        I’m not likely to jump to conclusions.

      • Sensei

        More realistically Wall St.

        They spun out Spirit to appease the street. There was little actual economic value in doing so. It just made for better Boeing numbers at Spirit’s expense.

        The most charitable thing I can say is that it also relieved them of some union obligations.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        From what I have read, a lot of the issues stem from the current inspection process, which is basically self inspection. No outside inspectors. So if one technician misses something, it stays missed. Also, the buyers aren’t doing secondary inspections after purchase.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They also have moved their headquarters. First to Chicago, then to DC. Get away from the icky people designing and building actual planes.

    • R.J.

      That is fantastic. So glad I drive most places.

      • DEG

        Man, and I’ve been thinking about flying to FreedomFest.

      • Sensei

        It’s very unlikely it would be a 787 unless it is across country.

      • Common Tater

        Don’t you live in NH? Sorry, if I confused you with someone else.

      • R.J.

        It’s in Vegas. That’s a whopper of a drive.

      • Common Tater

        Oh, OK, I got it confused with PorcFest.

      • R.J.

        No, that just happened. The repubs picked Donald Trump.

      • DEG

        No, that just happened. The repubs picked Donald Trump.

        🙂

      • DEG

        Oh, OK, I got it confused with PorcFest.

        Liberty Forum and PorcFest are in NH.

        FreedomFest started out in Vegas. After they got shut down during the Lil Rona Panic in 2020, they moved to Rapid City, South Dakota for 2021. At the FreedomFest 2021, the organizers announced they’d alternate Las Vegas with another location. So, 2022 was in Vegas. 2023 was in Memphis. 2024 is back in Vegas. 2025’s location will be announced at FreedomFest 2024.

      • Common Tater

        OK, thanks 🙂

      • DEG

        You can dig through here to find my write-ups on FreedomFest.

        I shouldn’t have gone through my back catalog. It reminded that the Rona Panic measures began in NH just before St. Patrick’s Day in 2020. St. Patrick’s Day is coming up.

      • DEG

        Yes.

        I started going to FreedomFest in 2021. I’ve driven to and from each of them. South Dakota, Las Vegas, and Memphis. It’s in Vegas again this year.

        I stopped flying with the Rona Panic and masks. But this year I’m not sure I can manage a drive to FreedomFest given some other things I want to do with my vacation time this year.

      • R.J.

        I don’t know if the new blimp service will be ready this year…

        https://oceanskycruises.com/airship-travel/

        It is still all cruises and not straight forward point A to point B.

  6. R.J.

    NetFlix is the CNN of streaming. Discuss.

    • Common Tater

      I don’t subscribe to any of them, but some of things Netflix puts out are very good. Nothing CNN does is good.

    • Sensei

      They are the only outlet that gives Crunchyroll aka Sony any competition for a global anime distribution.

      Also good choice for J Drama and K Drama. It pains me, but I find it a useful service.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      CNN of Steaming, maybe.

  7. DEG

    Diving into the movie

  8. Aloysious

    All kidding aside, this movie is surreal. Did Uwe Boll write/direct this?

    • R.J.

      No, the star wrote it with the director. Then they went on to do the Danger 5 series, which is EPIC.

    • DEG

      This is trippy.

      • R.J.

        Very. Puts you in an alternate reality for half an hour.

  9. Aloysious

    I need to get me one of them there fifteen shot six shooters. Might come in right handy.

    • R.J.

      Everything in this film is a parody, including that. Infinite shooting guns were a fixture if the 60’s.
      Even the spider on his chest is a reference. From IMDB:

      “…(The spider) is a nod to the viral email exchange of fellow Australian David Thorne who tried to pay an invoice with an image of crudely drawn seven legged spider.”

      • Aloysious

        It’s fun. I keep chortling. I really liked the decapitation by karate chop.

      • R.J.

        Next time the site goes down I am blaming penguinis.

  10. R.J.

    I paired this with Dr. Shrinker so the unreality will match, like fine wine to a steak.

    https://www.ebay.com/itm/204119261982

    See the link for some merchandise from the Dr. Shrinker show.

  11. Chafed

    I misread Dario Russo as Rosario Dawson, then as Rene Russo. Make of it what you will.

    • R.J.

      I think just about every Russo is better known, sadly. Even Miguel Russo the footballer.

    • R.J.

      His dad, Carmine Russo plays the scientist here. He also played Hitler in Danger 5. He was a great Hitler.

    • slumbrew

      Rosario Dawson

      *instantly thinks of “Alexander”*

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Common Tater

      “Rene Russo”

      If I remember she was pretty hot in some silly golf movie with Cheech Marin.

      • slumbrew

        Cuter in ‘Major League’, hotter in ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’ remake. But still hot.

      • slumbrew

        “bikini”

        Bah, only, like, 4 bikini shots. Total gyp.

        (she was/is hot)

      • Chafed

        JFC yes she was!

      • Common Tater

        I don’t think I’ve seen those.

      • slumbrew

        ‘Major League’ is a totally fantastic sports comedy. I highly recommend it.

        ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’ is pretty good – Pierce Brosnan at his charming best. Awesome, giant catamaran scene.

        (in my memory, the catamarans were ‘giant’ but they pale in comparison to the America’s Cup monsters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJFk4l-FWzk)

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        She was awesome in Get Shorty.

      • dbleagle

        Yes, yes she was. She nailed the role.

  12. Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

    I wore an eyepatch for a while. The ladies did not find it as attractive as I had once imagined.

    Also, nice Ducati (tower drive desmo FTW)

  13. Gustave Lytton

    “If it ain’t Boeing, we ain’t going [to die]”

    • Chafed

      If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “The sentiment behind the new advice is good, particularly in light of worries about potentially violent break-ins. Is it better to lose your car than potentially lose your life? I’d say so,”

      No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

      • Brochettaward

        Trudeau is going to fix that. He’s going to make it so the law-abiding lose the greatest tool of self-defense, the greatest equalizing force in history, and that only the criminals bringing their cultural enrichment remain armed.

        Yea, fuck it. Let’s just point out that this almost certainly isn’t white Canadians suddenly becoming criminals in mass numbers.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean!

      Everything appears to be fine in my county, but boy, last night was a bad tornado night here in “flyover country.” 😟

    • Gender Traitor

      A song so nice you linked it twice? 😉

      • Sean

        Exactamundo!

  14. UnCivilServant

    Morning.

    I overslept, so I got a late start, but I made it to the office before the start of my official workday, so I merely missed out on the leasurely pace I normally get to wake up.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U!

      • UnCivilServant

        I should probably give myself more than five hours to sleep, but that would require trying to fall alseep some time before midnight.

      • Gender Traitor

        Could still be lingering effects of the stupid time change.

      • UnCivilServant

        Still, five hours isn’t that great for sleeping.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Unless you have short sleep syndrome

  15. Not Adahn

    Morning!

    • Brochettaward

      You aren’t my supervisor.

      • Not Adahn

        I am no man’s supervisor. And woman’s only on a recreational basis.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, NA!

  16. Ownbestenemy

    Mornin

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, OBE! Everything OK weather-wise in your neck of the woods?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just some light show and rolling thunder..otherwise, all good! Hope the same for you.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup – the really bad stuff was a couple of counties to the north and northwest. Glad you dodged it…or I guess it dodged you.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Look, pork is still relatively cheap so we have to ensure it isn’t anymore

      • Gender Traitor

        ::marks Tyson off shopping list::

    • cavalier973

      Seems to me like a marketing opportunity for a rival company.

      “We pledge to never try to feed bugs or bug parts or bug powder to our customers. We will not adulterate our food with hazardous waste.”

  17. Beau Knott

    Mornin’

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Beau!

  18. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

    Guess we had some weather last night…..TALL TORNADIC CANS!

    • UnCivilServant

      But, wouldn’t that shake them up and make a mess when you opened the can?