IF YOU’RE A VIPER: Astrobotic will be toting not one, but two rovers to the moon on their Griffin-1 mission launching later this year. Joining NASA’s ice-prospecting Viper rover will be Astrobotic’s own cube rover which will perform technology demonstration. Astrobotic attempted a moon landing earlier this year, which was going to be the first private mission to the moon, but the Peregrine mission had propulsion problems and never made it to the lunar surface.
GLOVE NO FIT, ACQUIT, OBIT: Professional football player, actor, and criminal defendant OJ Simpson has died of cancer at age 76.
BIDEN CAMPAIGN COURTS THE QUILTBAG++: I find this outreach a little bizarre since I am constantly told how Trump hates the homos and how our votes naturally belong to the Democrats. Does anyone else catch a whiff of desperation?
NOTHING IF NOT PERSISTENT: The Motion Picture Association is very, very concerned about movie piracy. And what are they going to do about it? So, what are they doing about it? They are going to ask their friends in government to require blocking of websites hosting pirated content, just like they did in 2012 with the Stop Online Piracy Act which was tabled before receiving a floor vote. There is, of course, a deep irony to the amount of money Hollywood has made off of movies about pirates.
GOING WHOLE HOGG: The Leaders We Deserve PAC, headed by professional victim and gun-grabber David Hogg, is accused of spending $263,000 on campaigns and candidates while spending $1,400,000 on payroll, consultants, legal fees, and travel and entertainment expenses. Bonus David Hogg link; I love it when little commie punks get schooled by people who have actually lived under communist rule.
I WAS ASSURED THAT BIDEN GAVE US THE BESTEST ECONOMY EVER: But, somehow, that pesky CPI keeps going up even more than expected. Everyone who buys groceries knew this already. And, of course, regime mouthpieces try to progsplain it away,and shitbag politicians blame “greed” and use the misery of others to grandstand.
EUROWEENIES RESTART THEIR MARS ROVER PROJECT: The European Space Agency has done a deal with NASA to launch their already-built ExoMars rover after things went south with launch provider Roscosmos (Russia’s space agency) in 2022. NASA will also supply radioisotope heating units (RHUs) to keep the rover’s electronics warm overnight, but the rover will be solar-powered like NASA’s first- and second-generation Mars rovers. The ESA rover will have a drill that can penetrate two meters in the martian soil. NASA attempted soil drilling with the 2018 InSight stationary lander, but the drill did not work as planned.
MOON PATROL: Normally this is more Riven’s sort of thing, but I find myself replaying it for its cheesy 8-bit audio.
I actually like the free address stickers, notepads, etc. my mom gets.
I can send you some.
Just be sure to donate.
Funny thing I’m the one who has donated, not her.
How about a Dodge Viper?
If you’re in space – a Colonial Viper would probably be more useful. Frakkin’ toasters….
The real killer got to OJ, too.
I turned and looked back…
Damn it, I still have to get the garden ready.
Today has been a real Norm MacDonald renaissance on the Tweeter/X!
Torchy did a nice write-up on OJ’s Bronco over on Autopian. RIP Simpson, you crazy sonofabitch.
https://www.theautopian.com/the-most-famous-5th-gen-ford-bronco-owner-oj-simpson-has-died-so-lets-talk-about-the-bronco-he-made-famous/
Hmmph. No one laughed at my “The hearse should be a converted white Ford Bronco” in the dead thread. Such a tough crowd round here.
It’s up at the Bee right now.
Nice photoshop too. Thanks.
It only works with a proper police escort. Is AJ Cowling still around to chauffeur?
The Bee has you covered. Quick on the draw, as usual.
https://babylonbee.com/news/police-slowly-escort-white-hearse-containing-oj-simpson
I was at home in Playa del Rey that afternoon, wondering why my wife (fiancee then) was late getting home from work (before cell phones). Then I turned on the TV.
“”They were critical to our victory in 2020, and they will be critical to winning again this November,” Chavez Rodriguez added. “That’s why we’re thrilled to launch Out for Biden-Harris, which will harness the LGBTQ+ community’s organizing prowess to reelect President Biden and Vice President Harris this November.””
How many voters are LGBT? Out of those, how many are already some other minority?
Anyway, time to dust off a classic:
“I Am a Gay Jew in Trump’s America. And I Am Afraid for My Life.”
https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/11/i-am-a-gay-jew-in-trumps-america-and-i-am-terrified.html
Terrified, huh? Have you bought your gun yet?
Hogg is the son of an FBI agent. He figures he’ll be protected no matter what.
“Two generations of assholes is enough.”
I am fairly certain that kid won’t reproduce.
*cough* as a three-dollar bill *cough*
But unfortunately he and his eventual life partner might adopt.
I’d laugh.
Watch him produce an Alex P. Keaton.
So he comes into self-aggrandizement and mendacity honestly.
I played the shit out of Moon Patrol way back in the day.
It was more fun than Scramble, which was a sadistic quarter eater.
Sinistar HUNGERS for your quarters.
Boy did it ever.
I had it on my Atari 2600. Arcade games that ate my money: Asteroids, Defender, Joust, Gauntlet, Mrs. Pac-Man, Centipede, Tempest, and a whole list of ones I’m forgetting.
All those + Galaga, Robotron 2084, Dragon’s Lair.
Spy Hunter.
Good one!
Hollywood could try making better movies. That might make more money.
Come on, be realistic.
I love Moon Patrol. Such a great game. Such a nice soundtrack.
“Everyone I know is doing just fine.”
How are you?
If Jim Cramer says they are wrong, then they are right.
I’m getting tired of hearing about how wonderful the Trump years were. I want to know how/what Trump will do to turn things around. First things first. Stop spending. Ain’t gonna happen. Too many people (including me) are hooked on our ‘benefits’, trying to stop any program won’t work. Even a small hit won’t work.
We’ve reached the saturation point where the debt interest is being borrowed. That is not a good sign. We are unwilling to do the necessary thing because of the political damage. Whose ox gets gored?
Though I don’t remember the Depression I heard about it every day from my Mom. We were poor but still had a house, enough food and hand me down clothes. My mother knew every church that had rummage sales. There were no frills, later, after WW2 ended things got slightly better, some weeks there was 12 cents for a Saturday matinee but no nickle for candy but we didn’t complain, there were others that didn’t have the 12 cents.
I can’t foresee what damage will occur. If a tax increase is tried massive unemployment will happen. The continued whir of the printing press will result in more and more inflation. There doesn’t seem to be a solution without massive pain. It’s going to take some magic to undue the damage.
Sell federal land?
Whose ox gets gored?
All of them. We’re past the point of choosing. The questions are how bad and how long will it hurt, not whether it will hurt.
What’s especially worrisome is that we’re starting to handicap ourselves too much to grow our way out of it. Trump could help with that, but it won’t be enough.
^^ this.
The “good news” (insofar as there is good news about this) is that Europe seems to be further down the rabbit hole than we are. Their regulatory apparatus is worse. Their employment laws are worse. Their DIE stuff is more strongly inbuilt.
They’re the canary in the coal mine. We’ll follow shortly thereafter.
Not just Europe, either. Brazil and the rest of the BRICS are shooting themselves in the foot, what with full-on wars and destroying any belief in law.
Somebody will say, “Hey, this ain’t nothing a good WWIII can’t fix!”
And then Ukraine will join NATO.
Does anyone else catch a whiff of desperation?
Yes. rank, fetid desperation.
Hey… I showered this morning!
That’s usually kind of hot.
spending $263,000 on campaigns and candidates while spending $1,400,000 on payroll, consultants, legal fees, and travel and entertainment expenses.
Isn’t that standard practice for non profit foundations, charities and NGOs?
Pretty much so, unfortunately. They’re at roughly 1/5 (spending/overhead). I believe you have to be under 1/10 before the IRS starts hassling you, but they are a PAC so different rules than for charities.
Good. Let wealthy progressive idiots throw their money into a furnace rather than giving it to an organization that might move the needle.
Gott dam
Tonio is trying to get a job at the NY Post.
It’s the NYT that could really use him.
Thanks, folks. I was proud of that.
You should be. It’s gorgeous. I’m honored to steal it.
It’s just too damn good.
Hey hey!
OJ: Hell of an athlete, bad actor, likely double murderer, and definite narcissist but a top tier cultural icon from my twenties. I’ll miss him.
He was always late for his next flight.
That Hertz.
OHMyGod!
Bad actor?
Maybe, but was great as Norberg in the Naked Gun movies.
There was a stretch where his presence made them unwatchable, but we are past that point.
My wife and I seem to rewatch them every few years.
I might be dumb, but I still laugh my ass off every time.
Him having stuff happen to him was always funny.
Yeah, this will always be funny.
+1
One of those cases where replacing the guy with an obvious dummy actually makes the bit funnier.
When he got shot, burned his hand, got into wet paint, and then had the window slam on his fingers I was dying laughing.
Apparently The Cassandra Crossing is on Tubi. Of course, that one also has Martin Sheen in tighty-whities as Ava Gardner’s boy toy. 😮
“Trillions of dollars were indeed lost today under the assumption that inflation’s way hotter than we thought, and after examining the numbers underneath, considering the companies involved and the prices they charge, I think that may not be true,” he said. “These headline CPI numbers do not reflect reality as I see it.”
????
Shut the fuck up, Cramer.
US Gov: “Let’s exclude volatile food and fuel from the CPI…”
Reasonable consumer: “But volatile implies the price fluctuates greatly, however the mean prices for both have been been elevated since 2021 and continue to remain higher than typical for the past several years. Isn’t that inflation?”
US GOV: Shaddup!!
A few months ago Mrs. TOK and I went to an arcade for a friend’s birthday. Hundreds of vintage games, the most I’ve ever seen. I spent some time with Moon Patrol. Back in the day I had that on my C64 too.
You just need to get one of these (or their sister company) nearby. One of the girlfriend’s favorite places to burn some time on a day out. Arcade games and skee ball are free to play (with a beverage purchase), pinball/table hockey runs $1/game, bowling/darts/bocce and the like are available at different rates.
You could always come out for the Cleveland Gaming Classic as well.
This is the vintage game arcade nearest me. Lots of fun.
https://www.gallopingghostarcade.com/
Very nice. We’ve got a (much smaller) place that does vintage pinball games that are set to free play (and as is the usual, all cabinets are for sale). They charge under $10/person for a full day admission.
I see these, and weep that Dave and Busters became a ticket machine place.
/’members playing in the Battletech pods at the local D&B
Yes that’s the one! SO MANY GAMES!
Tonio, no HT for the Moon Patrol ref. and video from last week’s rover competition post?
Timeloose on April 4, 2024 at 3:38 pm
Time’s Moon rover proposal
https://youtu.be/39EsNumG3Fc
Moon Patrol Baby!
I’m sorry, dude. I forgot where that came from. You are definitely entitled to an H/T. Thanks.
I’m not upset in the least, fake outrage doesn’t translate well in the written form.
The hell you say!
*flips keyboard*
The one time I asked for a hat-tip, I got a cat butt instead.
“These headline CPI numbers do not reflect reality as I see it,” Cramer said.
No one gives a fuck how you see it cupcake. What matters is how the girl at the checkout sees it.
Speaking of MSNBC Business Channel personalities, is Steve Liesman still around? I haven’t watched them in years. I used to call him, “CNBC Senior Fed Apologist, Steve Liesman”.
That is a made up name….right?
And then he became a journalist.
It’s too on the nose.
His cousin is Dave Notheerman
More music and Les Nessman!
“EXCLUSIVE President for LIFE? If Donald Trump wins in November, most Americans say he’ll extend his term beyond the January 2029 limit, a Daily Mail poll shows
Fully 55 percent say Trump will try to stay in power beyond the four-year stint if he wins November’s presidential vote.
About a third say Trump won’t do that, and 10 percent say they’re not sure what he’d do come January 2029.”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13285685/President-LIFE-Donald-Trump-Americans-White-House-term-limit-poll-survey.html
BREAKING Most Americans Are Idiots
Propaganda works. Look at those surveys where people thought 50% of people who got COVID were hospitalized, and 25% died. Or that 1,000 black men are shot by cops every year.
1) Bull-fucking-shit. Who’d they poll… NPR listeners?
2) Frankly, his life probably isn’t that much longer than his term anyway (part of the reason I would have preferred DeSantis).
British tabloid garbage.
No way is that poll accurate.
No one asks and answers the basic question of “How?”.
The president doesn’t run the elections.
The president doesn’t validate the election results.
Is there widespread belief that Trump would declare himself a dictator and the US Armed Forces would just say “Okay.”?
Stealing the lectern makes one Speaker of the House. Occupying the Capitol Building makes you Congress. Sitting in the Oval Office makes you President. Sitting in the Presidential Shitter makes you Hunter.
It would be nice to not have elections every 4 years.
Leftists always seem to dream of dictators and trains.
Racist xenophobes
House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., will promote a bill with former President Donald Trump at his Mar-a-Lago residence aimed at preventing non-citizens from voting.
Johnson will hold a joint press conference with Trump on Friday at the former president’s Mar-a-Lago residence, where the top House Republican will tout the legislation to “elevate the issue of non-citizens voting in federal elections,” according to a person familiar with the planning.
How is this even remotely controversial?
Racist confirmed.
To play devil’s advocate, in places where there are high percentages of legal immigrants maybe it makes sense to allow them to vote on local things like the school board. Given the high number of Indians in my area, we might get a better school board if they were allowed to vote.
On the other hand, I don’t trust the government’s ability to keep citizens and non-citizens separate.
Reasonable consumer: “But volatile implies the price fluctuates greatly, however the mean prices for both have been been elevated since 2021 and continue to remain higher than typical for the past several years. Isn’t that inflation?”
Higher highs, and higher lows.
I had to fill out paperwork to renew my clearance for work. Providing addresses and contact info of people who know me from those addresses, given my last 2 years of living, was…grueling.
Next up: taxes.
This is a fun week.
Last time I had to update my clearance, all the stuff from my previous application populated in, and I only had to add the last few years.
After 22 years in the same place, I have had a couple of addresses in the last 2 years, so my form wasn’t prepopulated with the latest stuff. Last time I was reinvestigated was about 7 years ago.
Jury: Nicolae Miu guilty of reckless homicide in Apple River stabbing
This story has been making the rounds the last few days. It seems to hinge on whether or not he started the fight by pushing one of the girls.
Near as I can tell it’s a case where everyone is an asshole.
Agree. If reasonable doubt is still a thing (lol) then it does seem like the jury made a mistake.
I saw some screenshots where he already had the knife out and had slashed a girl before anyone hit him, so I’m not so sure he isn’t guilty. I can’t really tell from the full speed video what’s going on in great detail, and I didn’t have the joy of being on the jury, so I can’t really come to a judgement.
DAVID HOGG: There’s no way I can ever guarantee that any government will not be tyrannical.
LILY TANG WILLIAMS: Well then the debate on gun control is over because I will never give up my guns.
I do believe a “Boom! Headshot!” gif is appropriate here.
https://wifflegif.com/gifs/452930-scott-pilgrim-vs-the-world-gif
Aww man, she’s not wearing a MAGA hat.
I do believe a “Boom! Headshot!” gif is appropriate here.
Michael Corleone in the restaurant would work.
Hallelujah there’s a Dunkin Donuts in Franklin NC!
Last time I had one of their donuts it was way too sweet.
Bull-fucking-shit. Who’d they poll… NPR listeners?
,/em>
Ivy League political science majors.
Because they didn’t feel that way before.
Paywall
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/11/business/media/npr-criticism-liberal-bias.html
‘Oh, I read these stories, you guys aren’t fair, so I’m not going to talk to you’
Talk about a total lack of self awareness.
Perhaps if I post this in chunks, the server squirrels will let it pass.
I got fingerprinted again today. Let’s see if I can remember all the other times:
A dozen attempts to post without success. Weird.
Still no luck. Well, if it’s not server squirrels, it’s NSA what done it.
You have your own special posse following you around.
I’m certain one of my minders came out to meet me in a bar. Somehow, she knew my first name and middle initial, what I look like, and most intriguingly, where and when to find me. When I asked her if she worked for the government she said “ooh, are you paranoid? do you think the government is spying on you?”
White female, thin, brunette, 5’3, between 25 and 30 years old, has a diamond tattoo on the right side of her left index finger. Last saw her late February 2022 at a bar in Augusta GA.
Also, I’m pretty sure her name is Carly, but that is a weird hunch based on internet glitches I’ve seen. Yeah, I realize how crazy that sounds. More details will follow in the upcoming installments of my autobiography. Part 15 is where the really weird stuff starts.
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2024/03/story-of-my-life-part-15.html
As far as a posse following me around, I have proof of that:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egj-9eO81a0
I need a ruling here.
https://gizmodo.com/dbrands-social-media-goes-off-the-deep-end-offers-10k-1851404479
Their social media is known for calling people an asshole, but this does indeed seem going too far. Question is can they buy their way out of the brand damage.
Zombie OJ running patterns thru a graveyard to the rental car counter.
That’s a great visual there. Maybe have him dodge a tackle and lose an arm.
Today I solved a Rubik’s Cube for the first time. I followed instructions on the first web site I found. Didn’t take very long. I was able to solve the top layer by myself in a few minutes, and the other two layers were just following a few algorithms. Fun.
I can do one side. Can’t do all of them.
I did it the hard way, and it took a few months. That was also around the time I taught myself to juggle. Fun fact, on the NSA intranet, there is something called the daily puzz. Everyday there’s a different puzzle, usually involving math, language, or codes.
Puzzles are popular among NSA folks, and many desks have some sort of brain teaser game on them. The sense of humor there is…interesting. I saw this as a screensaver there:
link
Self-awareness, at least.
When I did my technical training at Goodfellow AFB, the instructor made fun of me because I said the NSA facility in Bluffdale UT is proof of bulk collection and mass surveillance. He made fun of me and said I must be reading too much from Weekly World News. Fuck that guy. William Binney is an NSA whistleblower who helped design many of their systems, and he said that Bluffdale’s purpose is mass surveillance. Hell, the original name of the place was Massive Data Repository. It was changed to Mission Data Repository.
Big retrospective on OJ on local news like his life after Nicole Brown Simpson didn’t count. 🤢
Why was Davey in New Hampshire? I would have thought that would be worth putting in the story.
Today in ham-fisted propaganda:
***
In the near future, a rapidly escalating multiparty civil war engulfs all of the United States which has become a dystopian dictatorship under its President, who is currently in his third term. Renowned and hardened photojournalist Lee Smith rescues Jessie, a young photographer who idolizes Lee, from a suicide bombing in New York City.
Lee and her colleague Joel wish to travel to Washington, D.C. to exclusively interview the President by the Fourth of July, before the rebel factions advance onto the capital. Despite trying to dissuade the group that the trip is highly dangerous, their mentor and veteran reporter Sammy joins them to head to the front lines at Charlottesville, Virginia,
***
blah blah blah very fine people on both sides…
***
The WF soldiers find the President hiding in the Oval Office, where an enraged Joel forgoes his interview for a final quote. The President begs Joel for mercy before Jessie takes a photo of his summary execution. During the credits, a developing photo of the WF soldiers smiling and standing over the President’s corpse appears.
***
Yawn. Kathy Griffin did that “joke” already.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_War_(film)
A President in his third term? Like Obama?
And Pence become Pants’d.
Also, isn’t it the left that is always saying that guns are useless for overthrowing a tyrannical government?
I thought overthrowing the government was like capture the flag. If you can enter the Sacred Temple of Democracy and occupy a circle inside it’s inner chamber for 6 hours, the government is yours. Even unarmed geriatrics could do it. I’ve been assured that we came within micrometers of this occurring.
Squatters’ rights!
“The next time one of our people calls up a Republican congressman or something and tries to get an answer from them, they may well say, ‘Oh, I read these stories, you guys aren’t fair, so I’m not going to talk to you,’” Mr. Cavin said.
Oh, no. The cat he is out of the bag. Nobody had the slightest inkling of bias, before now.
Just got back from my penultimate day as a glorified babysitter. It feels damn good. Fridays usually have fewer kids, and Movie Time is built in. Tomorrow’s epic: Pull in Boots. I feel like a veteran soldier pulled into the Somme. I see the flagrant bullshit and be the best troop I can. The whole time, I’m aghast. “THIS IS OUR SHIT ON THE W̶E̶S̶T̶E̶R̶N̶ ̶F̶R̶O̶N̶T̶ AFTERNOON CURRICULUM?! WTF IS THIS SHIT?!…GUH?!?”
That may not be how I always phrase it. It’s just a complete clusterfuck, disguised as “Extended School Enrichment.” Fucking Homework Time was banned cuz all HW is on their computers, and they (duh) couldn’t ‘be trusted’ to not immediately go to Minecraft/etc+ instead. Uh. Not that there aren’t safeguards to stop that?! Aaaalll bullshit so wealthy fucks of my generation can pat themselves on the back and act like they’re being good parents, keeping their spawn in school from 8am-6pm Mon-Fri.
Again, I largely hate my generation. There are plenty of sparks among us. (Not that I know anyone in the States IRL, to be fair.)
Again: At least in Korea, where the kids were (largely) denied individuality in school constantly, they at least fuckin’ LEARNED something.
Carried from the dedthread, has anyone had a similar scam attempt?
The spoofed number calls are rage inducing.
A couple weeks ago, I got a phone call from my bank, USAA.
It showed USAA as the contact, I do have their number saved.
First red flag, she didn’t greet me with my name and prior rank.
Lady tells me that my debit card was used to purchase a $450 item in Texas, I told her that was not me.
She told me that in order to hold the transaction, she would need the card number.
That seemed shady, so I told her I didn’t have it with me.
Second red flag, she became very adamant that I tell her the number.
I hung up and called USAA, they said there was no transaction in Texas, and they had no record of anyone calling me.
We went back and I verified that my phone was showing the usual number USAA does call me from.
I hate thieves.
I remember getting the car warranty was going to expire call.
I played along and after their patter they asked the make, model and year of my car.
I replied since they knew the warranty was expiring I had no need to tell them. We played that game three times until he hung up.
Different kind of thief. Yours was directly trying to rob you.
When I’m told I have a virus on my computer, I tell them I’m with the CIA and if they keep talking, the drone can triangulate their location.
I’ve gotten two fishy emails in the past year which contained receipts for things I didn’t buy. I replied to cancel the order, but I’m pretty sure the scammers wanted me to call them at the number provided.
I checked my credit card and bank accounts for the supposed transactions and they didn’t exist. Just be safe, I changed a few passwords. Haven’t gotten another fishy email since.
Whatever money-related online passwords you have, it’s good to change them every few months. Same goes for email.
Ted Bundy in addition to his murder hobby was an accomplished identity thief. He was careful to have a large number of credit cards with unique stolen identities, and he rotated through them to keep the balances low. He never got busted for identity theft.
I’ve received calls from fake handymen. No idea what the scam is.
I also get fake emails saying that I bought something I didn’t buy that is going to be shipped to me.
I’ve gotten one telling me they were a l33t haxxor who hacked my webcam and now he has video of me doing unspecified but totally scandalous things. I responded “my computers are all built by me and I hate webcams.”
I put the fear of God in them by pointing out my area code is the same one used by various US government agencies, including the CIA, and they never know who they could be calling by dialing any given number in that area code.
We went back and I verified that my phone was showing the usual number USAA does call me from.
Build a better mousetrap, and what do you get? Smarter mice.
The device that can spoof phone numbers for calls and text messages costs about $2k. I do not recommend researching online where to buy one lest you arouse the suspicions of the authorities. In the days of yore, there was an underground magazine called 2600: The Hacker Quarterly. 2600 Hz is the frequency of a dial tone on a landline phone. I first saw a copy around 1999. One of the featured articles had a long list of bogus social security numbers that could be used to hide one’s identity. Apparently, the government SSN database is rather sloppy. Please excuse me while I go find my shocked face.
(Technically not dial tone….)
I stand corrected. It is the tone used to indicate that a line is available. The old US dial tone frequency was a combo of a 350 Hz tone and a 440 Hz tone played together.
Did anyone ever find out who leaked the Roe v. Wade thing?
I have the strangest feeling that there was very little sincere effort to crack that particular case. I can’t imagine why.
It would be easy to find out who did it with info from the NSA database. Alas, that would be illegal. According to William Binney, the government does it routinely anyway, and then creates a parallel evidence trail after the fact to make it admissible in court.
Perhaps if a Supreme Court justice was accused of being a Russian agent, a FISA court could grant a warrant for the FBI. It worked against Trump.
Clarence Thomas asks that you please shut up and stop giving them ideas.