Dick Slashballs inhaled carefully, a controlled stream of air entering his lungs, inflating them by a precise amount. He began an equally controlled exhalation, about to stop as soon as the reticle dropped by the prescribed amount, settling on the target’s vital zone.
He suddenly began coughing uncontrollably, the white smoke from his spotter’s pipe triggering his lungs into violent convulsions.
“God DAMMIT, Hunter!,” Slashballs choked. “I fucking *had* her that time, you shitstain!”
“I had her once, you know,” Hunter mused, exhaling the last vapors, the vocal fry grating on Dick’s last nerve.
“I swear to God, if your father wasn’t who he is, I’d bury you over there by that burned out T-82,” muttered Slashballs.
“I heard that, *Dick*, said Hunter, cheerily. You wouldn’t want Daddy to lose another son to the ravages of war, would you?
“Certainly not,” Slashballs muttered, watching his prey climb into the armored car through the scope, as his heaving chest slowed. “We’re going to have to get mobile soon. We can’t lose her again.”
“Super!” cried Hunter. “I call sidecar!”
“You always ride sidecar,” grumped Slashballs. “Like I’d let you drive, you fucking crackhead.”
“I just LOVE field ops!” Cracky cried, his muffled voice seemingly emanating from Hunter’s plate carrier. “I feel so ALIVE!”
Hunter ripped open the velcro flap pocket and drew Cracky out of his marsupial comfort. “I love you, Cracky! I’m so glad we’re on this adventure together!”
Slashballs rolled his eyes as he slung his rifle, “Time to go, ‘guys.’ We need to be moving.”
Hunter skipped over to the sidecar and hopped in, slamming down into place, unheedful of the bruising he would certainly experience later.
As Slashballs settled into the saddle, his wrist communicator came alive with a buzz. He looked at the tiny screen. Joe stared back at him.
“Ji-Jil-Jill!” I’m not sure how to work this crazy thing! Hunter’s not there! I think I called Grizzly Adams again!
“It’s Doctor, dear. Let me talk to him”
“Did you eliminate the target, Slashballs?”
“No, uh, Doctor, we uh, had an unexpected bump in plans. It got, er, a bit foggy.”
“Christ, is Hunter smoking again? I fucking told that quartermaster to double check his gear and make sure there were no crack pipes this time.”
“Yes, Ma’am—er, Doctor,” Slashballs corrected himself. He broke out that rock again while I was setting up the shot. I can’t fucking babysit him and do my job at the same time.”
“Welcome to my world, Slashballs. Welcome to my world.”
Does Dick Slashballs First? I eat seconds like him for lunch.
My Firsts are fun on a bun.
My Firsts can teach you clowns media literacy.
The cross-over event we didn’t know we needed!
Is it sweeps week?
Next month. (I’m hoping they finally find something really big on Oak Island by then!)
Good luck with that GT. 😁
Oh, they’ve found a fortune there.
Mostly in selling television shows and merch.
And it isn’t even Nielsen Sweeps Week yet! 😃
We need a battle of the Glib Network Stars!
Here’s a gratuitous Lynda Carter video just because.
https://youtu.be/hedXQ_cNYqI?feature=shared
Slashballs works for
JoeDokter Jill!?!?!If you gots the cash, you gets the Slash.
Who is the target? Gentlemen, start your speculations.
If it was Hillary, you can understand Hunter’s addictions (since he had her once).
Crack must be a helluva drug!
Susan Rice? Kamela? The latest stripper that Hunter knocked up?
Please please please let it be Big Gretch.
Victoria Nuland.
Gotta get out of Ukraine now that Zelensky is whining that the US, UK, and France actively helped shoot down Iranian drones and missiles over Israel.
ding ding ding
Thanks db. It ain’t SF and I’ll be able to have lunch on time. We’re seeing The Family from a slightly different angle, working stiffs from PA
Nice cover db – good to give SF a break now and again.
Disney still hasn’t turned a profit off buying Star Wars. And given recent losses and the state of the brand, they probably aren’t going to anytime soon.
What? Their shoe salesman CEO hasn’t turned the corner?
Needs more woke.
I’m sure a few more series on Disney+ that nobody watches will do the trick. How do we do it? VOLUME!
From what little I’ve seen, they appear to be pinning a lot of hope on the next movie (that’s a spin off from a Disney+ show). You know, since the last movies they put out that focused on a character that was only introduced via streaming shows did so well.
Upcoming History Channel show we plan to rush right out and miss: https://www.history.com/shows/how-disney-built-america
I’d watch that, I’d just stop at about the year 2000.
Just watched the preview. I’m addicted to those series and I love the historic Disney stuff so yes.
Gosh, who would have thought that shitting all over the beloved original trilogy wouldn’t pay off? It’s bewildering!
/saves comment on this concept for later…
It’s astonishing how fast they’ve burned through all the audience goodwill, and how stubbornly they refuse to reverse course.
There hasn’t been a passably good Star Wars since the 1980s and even the last of those wasn’t that good. It’s sad to say but Star Wars just needs to die.
I mean, what the fuck was up with those fucking Ewoks man? That was bullshit!
Why do you hate capitalism?
Even forty years later I’m still pissed at how badly Lucas insulted my intelligence with those things.
I’m sure he feels sorry as he swims in his pool filled with gold coins.
It was supposed to be wookies originally but then they realized the marketing potential of “cute” Ewoks would be more lucrative.
There are two kinds of bad. There is “faithful to the original idea, but not well executed”, which was essentially the status quo (barring a few notable exceptions) for the sci-fi/fantasy/superhero genres until the early 2000s.
There is also “we poured resources into a story with a bad message”, which is the status quo today. The production values are higher, but the actual storyline turns people off. We see it now with The Message, but it’s not like Star Trek 1 sucked because of cost issues.
As an aside, it was wild to see “The Message” referenced in a BBC review a while back.
Sorry, I got distracted and missed the punchline.
ROTJ and the prequels suffer from the latter issue, but in a different way than the sequels.
The prequels had bad storytelling and poor character and effects choices, but they can be appreciated as a good faith effort to add to the canon.
The sequels felt disconnected from the canon in a way that has taken on an increasingly malicious tone. I think the core is similar to the corruption of other entertainment (sports, for example). It the direct rejection of these forms of entertainment as escapism. You can’t enjoy this thing without being bombarded by The Message. It’s not acceptable to them.
Only the best crossovers for Glibs. The best.
I’m delighted that Dick Slashballs has returned. But in a crossover with Hunter? Stop, my penis can only get so erect!
Hunter is the Family’s preeminent expert on Ukraine.
ripped open the velcro
Too soon for a Wednesday.
Element of surprise against the unprepared.
https://hard-drive.net/hd/video-games/man-with-anime-girl-tattoo-preemptively-added-to-federal-watchlist/
Plus everybody knows Asuka is the best!
DS has been captured and is actually being chemically tortured.
An announcement from corporate just went out to our business group. Back in the office 4 days a week starting Oct. 1. There is much seething here right now.
Welcome home
What were you before?
We are three days in office. I would not be happy with four.
We went from 2 to 3 days a week a year ago.
We were always 3, but required to come back much sooner than many.
That may have worked to our favor.
My job is classed as remote, so I don’t need to worry about return to office. However, there were some higher profile people in my company that were let go because they weren’t going into the office for the mandatory days (or had people swipe them into the building while they were WFH).
We are actively closing offices and pursuing universal telecommute.
That’s where we landed a couple years ago.
Shame about that new 20 story headquarters but management understands the concept of ‘sunk cost’ (and, thankfully, it was a long-term lease and not a purchase).
All of our buildings are coming up for renewal over the next few years. No new campuses. This is it. It is one pleasing thing about the place.
On the downside, I may need a Homer Simpson mumu if I don’t get some exercise.
Ditto. I’m classed teleworker, but I have colleagues who go into the office literally just to get the badge swipes in. They go in, work 20 minutes, grab lunch with friends, work another half hour, hit the corporate gym for an hour and head back home.
That’s what the people who got let go were doing. It elicited several… interesting reactions in the management free chat.
I can imagine. Our return to office was universally panned, and was followed up by a layoff. The speculation was that it was used to force headcount down through attrition so the layoff didn’t have to be as big.
It has mostly blown over since last summer, but there’s still a level of morale hit that lingers. In fact, morale has taken a few hits over the past 5 years in a way that the company hasn’t really recovered from. Lots of poor decisions made in HR and Comms over that time period.
Sorry Drake. The pencil dick micromanagers could never get over not having their pawns in view & conflating showing up with actually getting shit done, despite 4+ years to the contrary. They think either this is the opportune time with the economy slowing and power shifting back from employees or cargo cult skills from their MBA program to right flagging results.
Cool! It’s been a while since we have seen Dick Slashballs.
Thanks db.
I still initially read his name as Slash Dickballs. Since it’s Wednesday, I blame SF.
Hunter ripped open the velcro flap pocket and drew Cracky out of his marsupial comfort
I squirmed a little.
Another conspiracy theory now proven.
https://www.businessinsider.com/photos-dubai-airport-flash-floods-show-downsides-controlling-the-weather-2024-4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_asNhzXq72w
Cloud seeding isn’t a conspiracy theory, they’ve been doing it and trying various methods since the 40’s.
“They’re putting fluoride in the rainwater!”
As of today, I’ve been at the state for sixteen years.
I’d have thought I’d have found a real job by now.
For those interested, there’s an Israel conflict debate over at Zerohedge at 1900 Eastern-Dennis Prager and Batya Ungar-Sargon vs Cenk Uygur and Dave Smith-should be pretty good
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/prager-cenk-smith-face-zerohedge-debate-over-israel-iran
“TOS for conservative folks.”
Feels like that is Zerohedge’s new goal with these debates.
3 out of four decent debaters. Should actually be good unless Cenk just dominates the discussion with his non-sense.
Who tf would ever agree to be on a team with Chunk?
The apparent role reversal between Iran and Israel is disorienting.
Israel seems to be saying and doing extreme things (bombing embassies). Iran had a fairly measured response with warnings days in advance that did some damage but did not kill anyone. Now Iran is talking de-escalation while everyone tries to talk sense into Israel. Weird days.
Gaza was all for deescalation on Oct 8, too.
How does one have anything to do the other?
Both are all about tag you’re it, no touchbacks.
Like a kid fight they won’t stop because both insist on getting in the last slap.
What’s the equivalent of “don’t make me pull this car over”?
Don’t make me stop foreign aid to your countries?
I’d characterize it more as an incompetent response than measured. If they had better tech, it would have been devastating.
Depends. Lots of what the Iranians used were relatively cheap, and they used them to take a good chunk out of the USN’s missile inventory.
Enough that future attacks could get through? Probably not in their case. But when the PRC does it for real, it’ll work because of the size of their arsenal.
Ignoring the spending piece of it, the USN, IDF, and the others on this side have to be absolutely tickled with the practice and data they got. Iran, too, but they probably didn’t get as much intel.
It was an absolute vindication of Iran’s practices over the past 40+ years. Avoid direct conflict, fund proxy groups to cause chaos, simmer the conflict just enough to keep the other side on edge, work on nukes in the background.
Have you forgotten about that whole “attacking international shipping” thing they’ve been doing, or does that not matter anymore?
Shouldn’t they be the tres pendejos?
Sure, why not – it isn’t like you represent the working class in this country.
“Now go make me a sammich and mow the lawn!”
Benefit workers nationwide – by depressing wages. Yeah, you ain’t depending on working class votes amigo.
What’s the Three Shitbags in Spanish?
The Democratic House trio who became known as the “Three Amigos” for their defiant efforts to protect undocumented immigrants are now urging the Biden administration to use its executive powers to grant legal work permits for that group.
Or you know, have Congress write laws to create a temporary worker program that works for as many people as possible. But that would take work and voting on legislation.
“Additionally, granting work permits to long-term immigrant workers could increase annual tax revenue by an estimated $13.8 billion, according to the American Immigration Council.”
Just as long as we focus on what’s truly important.
How about we don’t do that and don’t give Ukraine et al their 100 billion and we just pocket the extra 86.2 billion? Just a thought…
13.8 billion dollars will fund Checkbook Joe’s green new deal fantasies for damn near a week.
It sounds like a lot of money, until you find out how fast they’re spending it.
A billion here, a billion there, soon you’re talking about real money.
No non profit left behind
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass announced Monday the LA4LA campaign, a unique funder and connector program for affordable housing opportunities. Bass said she is looking for donations from business leaders and philanthropic organizations to buy buildings for the unhoused.
“LA4LA can be a sea change for Los Angeles – an unprecedented partnership to confront this emergency,” Bass said. “An example of disrupting the status quo to build a new system to save lives.”
Darci Niva, the CEO of Westside Coalition, which represents 80 government, social service and faith-based agencies addressing housing, hunger and health, said although she was impressed by the plan, Niva said workers need more support and resources to aid the homeless.
They can probably bring that affordable housing in for ~$500/ft, if they really scrimp. You wouldn’t want those newly housed folks to feel like second class citizens.
Wouldn’t it be faster to just put them up in your guest rooms and helper cabins and whatnot?
“Welcome to my world, Slashballs. Welcome to my world.”
Too forgiving.
What a shit show
https://www.franchisetimes.com/franchise_news/line-x-faces-mass-exodus-as-franchisees-refuse-new-agreement-terms/article_eb84137c-e2f0-11ee-a705-1f93e1ea0e73.html
That article doesn’t seem to explain the difference between the two systems in how they actually work, and I’m lost beyond “the franchisees don’t like it and are leaving”.
From my skim only of the article:
Current model lets them buy exclusive product and pay Line-X a percentage of the sale.
The royalty model would be (for example) pay us $10k a month with sales up to X and $20k a month for sales up to Y and we sell you the product at cost Z. I have no idea what level of control franchisee have over pricing.
The royalty model isn’t necessarily bad, it depends on the deal. However, it’s not the model the franchisees had before and may or may not have operated under. I understand the issue.
From the article, it sounds like LineX wants to move into more services and non-LineX products, which may be part of the franchisee’s existing business if they did more than just sprayliners.
Currently they sell the chemicals and supplies to franchises and make their money on that. lineX wants to move to taking a percentage of the franchisee’s revenue as royalties, which probably includes non-LineX products. Also, moving half of the advertising money from franchisee’s control to LineX.
Ugh!
Wouldn’t it be simpler to just raise the price of the supplies and claim inflation did it?
Yes, but from the value of Line-X corporate having a captive and more locked in distribution is better.
Hence all the talk of private equity. This increases value for the existing PE.
[Insert my standard rant here about chasing EPS, but replace EPS with PE money]
Not if Line-X wants to get into new products or services.
An automotive aftermarket franchise, Line-X locations provide spray-on bedliners for trucks, boats, trailers, motorcycles and other applications, and also sell truck accessories. Many franchisees have run their stores for decades, said longtime owner Josh Berg, and their relationship with Line-X was essentially one of product distribution, with the franchisor generating revenue from its sale of chemicals and coatings to franchisees.
As I see it. 1) Line-X created a product. 2) Line-X franchises someone to “install” the product. 3) Line-X makes money wholesaling the product to the franchise. 4) The franchise makes money installing the product.
The new system is that Line-X is demanding part of the money that the franchise makes. Unstated, but assumed, is that Line-X is still making money wholesaling the product to the franchise.
So, it looks like a pure money grab.
Your notion of the wholesale revenue is spot on – there’s a line in there that said, in effect, they’d *reduce* the wholesale price under the royalty model. Clearly not enough to make up the difference, if the one franchisee’s math on net revenue drop of over 50% is correct.
Line-X created a product.
Charles Hibbard of the competing Arma Coatings, claims to have invented the product before Rhino (original parent of LineX) started theirs. Super nice guy with a South African accent, though a little bitter if you get him started, and his product looks as good/identical to LineX.
cut throat business
Thank you, everyone. It makes more sense now.
The noncompete angle is interesting too.
If I were a current franchisee I’d be upset too.
I wonder if my local place s going to change?
I plan on stripping the shitty bedliner out of mine and am strongly considering getting Line-X instead of doing it myself with Raptor Liner.
Rhino Liner is another professionally installed alternative. No idea about it, but it’s a direct Line-X competitor.
I had Rhino Liner on my first truck and it didn’t seem as strong as Line-X I’ve seen.
I had to get the Rhino redone under warranty a couple times.
That article doesn’t seem to explain the difference between the two systems in how they actually work, and I’m lost beyond “the franchisees don’t like it and are leaving”.
Same here. I gave up about halfway through. Lots of marketerspeak, which makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Also mentioned: juicing the numbers for a flip.
It also looked like they were trying to force franchisees into new lines of business.
I suppose franchises have their advantages, but lots of drawbacks, too.
O.T.: Has anyone watched these sci-fi short films?
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUYLgWkQZ39J61ykA_Jrknx8230GbnYvV
It’s an attempt to make new content free of big studio remakes. I will definitely watch these this weekend.
Will definitely check that out.
+1
Also- nothing says “we trust our partners” like imposing a uniform point of sale system from HQ.
If you want to track sales and trends you want exactly that.
That benefits franchisees too, but it really benefit corporate. The issue is they want to make franchisees pay for it. Surprise another cost paid with OPM.
Might not benefit the franchisees. I worked on a project to monitor the drive thru performance for a major chain.
When we started, the drive thru controller would spit out a bunch of metrics on a roll of paper (looked like a receipt). Then the manager would email those metrics to corporate every day and they’d go into a big spreadsheet.
We tapped into the drive thru controller, gathered the metrics and pushed them out in real time. Then we created a nice dashboard so corporate could monitor things.
Technically the project went great. The problem was that our solution was providing much too accurate info. Corporate knew that the average order was $X and they were supposed to get part of that. The franchisees had been underreporting the number of people going through the drive thru and skimming cash. Our system “found” those missing customers and corporate started asking questions.
At that point the franchisees/managers started messing with out equipment and complaining to corporate. At the end of the day the pilot program finished up and we didn’t get the green light to expand it. Corporate weighed their options and thought that the extra revenue wasn’t worth antagonizing their franchisees. Corporate did threaten to go forward and the franchisees did stop skimming as much as before.
There’s a coincidence.
https://fox56.com/news/local/crews-respond-to-fire-at-general-dynamics-in-scranton
U.S. Army munitions plant catches fire.
The next day…
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13319141/Explosion-rocks-weapons-factory-south-Wales-run-Europes-biggest-military-contractor.html
blast rocked Britain’s only ammunition factory as ‘shell exploded’