IFLA: The “Trouble in the Streets” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of April 28

by | Apr 28, 2024 | IFLA | 134 comments


This week’s celestial story is “domestic disturbances.” Mars and Saturn bring their violence and destruction, but this is NOT looking like a time to make houses out of ice or roast pigs — that will require Jupiter retrograde, which is not present here.  Still, city employees will be getting overtime.  Mars in particular being in Aries indicates that this violence will be of the particularly annoying type.  There is another completely useless sign indicating that starting Tuesday, guys who stereotypically have no problem getting laid will have an easier time getting laid.  Yee haw.



Taurus: 10 of Cups reversed – Previous effort protects you from something bad happening.

Gemini: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement. 

Cancer: Knight of Coins reversed – Inertia, idleness, stagnation, placidity, discouragement, carelessness.

Leo: Justice reversed – The bad side of law: excessive harshness, bigotry, lawfare, etc.

Virgo: 7 of Swords reversed – Good advice, counsel, instruction, slander, babbling.

Libra: 5 of Cups reversed – News, alliances, affinity, consanguinity, ancestry, return, false projects.

Scorpio: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. 

Sagittarius: Ace of Wands – Failure to achieve.

Capricorn: 8 of Swords – Bad news, violent chagrin, crisis, censure, power in trammels, conflict, calumny; also sickness.

Aquarius: The Hierophant reversed –  Society, good understanding, concord, overkindness, weakness.

Pisces: The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.

Aries: 3 of Wands – Established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery,able co-operation in business. 



Since it’s the end of April, maybe this?

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

134 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Ace of Wands – Failure to achieve.

    “If at first you don’t succeed, try again. If that doesn’t work, give up. There’s no sense in being a damn fool about it.”

    [or words to that effect] -W C Fields

    • Shpip
  2. Toxteth O'Grady

    Great song. The Graduate was on the other night.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    I was never much of a Simon and Garfunkel fan, but I kind of like this one

    • rhywun

      We had to sing some of their songs in hippie music class i.e. growing up in the seventies.

      • Tres Cool

        My older brother had a couple of their albums that got played in heavy rotation.
        Suffice to say I was sick of them by the time I was a teen.
        Same with Pink Floyd.

      • Aloysious

        Yep.

  4. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery,able co-operation in business.

    All I see is DOOOOOOMMMMM

  5. Gustave Lytton

    Those dogs are out of control. Someone better give them all dirt naps pronto.

      • rhywun

        adorbz

    • Fourscore

      They wouldn’t make it in SoDak, rough housing like that.

    • ron73440

      Last night, my Aussie was laying down and the Husky kept bothering her.

      I thought she was laying on one of his chew bones so I went to see.

      She opened her mouth and dropped a dead frog.

      Good times.

  6. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 10 of Cups reversed – Previous effort protects you from something bad happening.

    Oooooooh, I love it when that happens!

  7. R.J.

    “ Leo: Justice reversed – The bad side of law: excessive harshness, bigotry, lawfare, etc.”

    I’ll tell my boss I am sleeping through the week. I have an excuse slip from a guy not named Adahn.

  8. Mojeaux

    There is only so much smoked gouda I can eat in one sitting.

    • R.J.

      Does that make a good omelette?
      I just made mini-omelettes for the week. Now I am thinking about what I would pair in a smoked gouda mini-omelette.

      • juris imprudent

        Honey or maple cured ham, and if you want a veggie – asparagus. Similar to the omelette we had this morning (leftover pork loin, asparagus and fontina).

      • Aloysious

        *drools*

      • Mojeaux

        I would not put gouda and eggs together, no.

      • Aloysious

        Make a Mornay sauce with the good Gouda.

        I’m sure you have your preferences, but I like it in a gratin with broccoli or cauliflower.

        Or shredded in a green salad with crusty bread.

        Now I’m hungry.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Mmm, rind.

  9. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Gemini: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement.

    So I can expect to be approached by a “patriot” with a standard-issue haircut trying to get me to engage in a plot to kidnap a politician or some light parading?

    • CPRM

      Afroman performed for free at UNLV in spring ot 2. (Well, not on campus, I think it was out by the stadium. I dunno I was shitfaced and took the free shuttle bus there and then met some randos who shared, things, with me)

    • CPRM

      Going by this video, his entire income stream may now depend on middle-aged wypipo, so maybe playing to the market.

  10. hayeksplosives

    Aries: 3 of Wands – Established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery,able co-operation in business.

    That means I get to be there tomorrow when I start my new employee.

    Which matches with the fact that I just got discharged from the hospital!! Woot!

    In an Uber on the way to Walgreens now.

    • rhywun

      Nice! Drug run?

      • hayeksplosives

        Yep! Some nebulizer solution, albuterol inhaler, and a new thing for high blood pressure.

        I usually don’t have high blood pressure but i was in a hospital, which ain’t relaxing.

      • R C Dean

        “i was in a hospital, which ain’t relaxing”

        Tell me about it.

      • Mojeaux

        There have been times in my life I saw being in the hospital a freaking vacation.

        I wouldn’t NOW, but there were times…

      • Trials and Trippelations

        There are plenty of patients that do think it’s a spa day 😭😭😭😭

      • Mojeaux

        My last sojourn for my ulcer surgery, I was just barely out of recovery and half drugged. Nurses freaking EVERYWHERE. The respiratory therapist came waltzing in with an incentive spirometer. I saw it and just said, “No.” She flounced out huffing, “At least you’re honest about it!”

      • Trials and Trippelations

        Haha. The incentive spirometer was part of our room prep check list when I worked abdominal transplant. Some patients were avid users but for most it just got in the way on their table when their food tray arrived

      • Mojeaux

        There was absolutely no way I could have used that because of the abdominal pain. Like, I can breathe. Good enough.

      • rhywun

        Huh that thing has a name. Evil device.

    • juris imprudent

      Glad to hear you escapedgot out, safe and sound.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, discharge was surprisingly easy. They just removed the IV spigot, handed me all the paperwork and said I could leave when I was ready. Left me to dress and that was that!

      • Tres Cool

        Pics?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Nice

    • ron73440

      I’m a retired Marine and I’m not a fan of military discounts.

      My wife gives me used to give me a hard time, but she’s given up.

      She takes advantage of them.

      • Ownbestenemy

        May not like it but you ain’t running out and being a little bitch taking it away from others.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, that’s the critical difference

        Bet Karen wouldn’t complain about a “single mom” discount.

      • ron73440

        Glad you’re out HE!

      • hayeksplosives

        👍

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, non-military are subsidizing it.

      • The Hyperbole

        Yes, the person bitching is bitching for the wrong reason*, My complaint with veteran discounts is that most veteran volunteered and were paid for their service, why exactly should they get special treatment, sure each business can give out discounts as they see fit, I can also tell those businesses to piss up a rope. Do roofers get a discount? roofing is a horrible job, and very dangerous and I’d argue much more important than killing people thousands of miles away, that are no threat to anyone in ‘Murica.

        *I didn’t watch the entire rant, and didn’t check to see if the ranter is accurately describing the Karen’s motives, I’m just taking his word for it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thank you for your service, Hyperbole.

      • The Hyperbole

        You are welcome, although I quit roofing in1990, I did however, roof some really steep roofs before I quit.

      • Fourscore

        Home Depot gives 10% to vets, you could have made that up on your roofing jobs, if you were a vet.

        I never ask for a discount, I did eat at Perkins one morning, Vets Day, without realizing it. After I ordered the waitress asked if I was a vet, got a free breakfast but had to pay for the coffee. As I remember I tipped $5 ’cause she was so nice and asked, I just told the truth.

        Now I do have a problem with teachers/law enforcement getting a reserved parking spot at some big box stores.

      • Ownbestenemy

        His whole premise is let the free market decide. Cant really argue with that

      • Brochettaward

        Eh. That sounds great. I have never used any military discount and don’t care for them. I don’t talk about my service much at all in meat space and I don’t need any thank you’s.

        But there is a level of narcissism and petty…jealousy I get from people like hypacunt when they talk about this subject. Stop shopping somewhere because they offer a military discount? That’s pettiness there motivating it. It tends to be a certain personality type that just gets vehemently upset about the thank the troops stuff.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Not once in his rant does he demand it though. He is all in about people who feel the need to ‘care for others’ and all that. I don’t seek it out, but if its offered, I don’t discount it. I choose it, cause the place offers it. I don’t ask, but hell, if I can get 10% off, sure!

      • Brochettaward

        I thought you were signing off on Hyperbole’s comment. So my mistake if not.

  11. Evan from Evansville

    Ev horoscope: I turned 37 at 8:53am today. I just finished my first week of Mon-Fri, scheduled work since my last teaching contract ended March 1, 2022.

    And my job is a cakewalk. The training was by far the hardest part, learning to conform to the testing rubric. I got hockey playoffs in the background and going off to my bro’s for family event. My favorite: I’m a prime number. So is Mini-Mi, little Ez at 3. His mom is also prime at 41. Ez has my/my bro’s build and leans towards my character.

    This pleases me ever so. Off to celebrate! Gonna wear my custom-made blazer I got in Hanoi. It’s just garish enough so I can still wear it in public. (Maybe a twice/year event.)

    Best wishes to one and all. This was a big step for me. I’m making almost exactly/month what I did starting out in Korea. Again, room/board are included. (Parents house. Office is in my closet. It fits magically.) Massive step. Big promise. Something I can bounce out of, contract at will. Hrm. This is different. Different is good. I am excited to begin this all. I’ve lived a goofy, exciting, painful, and memorable existence.

    An Evan is now 37. Can’t keep me down. A wicked smart, blessed coyote.

    • Ted S.

      I thought the waiting was the hardest part.

    • Beau Knott

      Alas, I’m no longer 2 Evans old, nor shall I be again.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You are aging in reverse!

        Happy bday Evan!

    • kinnath

      charge them

      prosecute them

      convict them

      sentence them

      Let them carry that conviction for the rest of their lives.

      • Fourscore

        “You have the freedom to choose, but you’re not free from the consequences of those choices.”

        Frank Sonnenberg

    • Brochettaward

      I’m a big believer in rehabilitation. What this is really about, asking this question, is that some rich little shits are doing dumb shit that will carry with them into the real world and the left is sympathetic to them.

      Young people get fucked over all the time with records for minor or stupid shit. These ones should not be the special exemptions because they are the children of the wealthy and influential.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      I would argue these charges have all the more reason to stay on record. these charges are more indicative of the kinds of people these students are and serve as a red flag to an employer that the student is a trouble maker or HR personnel from hell.
      certainly more of a red flag than underage drinking charges are that you are hiring a functional drunk

      • Fourscore

        If they are students permanently suspend them and call in their loans immediately.

    • juris imprudent

      CONSEQUENCES?!?! No one told me there would be consequences. /derpy little shits

  12. The Late P Brooks

    “At issue is whether universities and law enforcement will clear the charges and withhold other consequences, or whether the suspensions and legal records will follow students into their adult lives.”

    Somewhere along the line, you’re going to learn you cannot expect to act without consequences. It might as well be now.

    • LCDR_Fish

      As others have mentioned- aside from “sexual assault” (star chambers soon to return courtesy of Title IX) its nearly impossible to be suspended/expelled from colleges these days….

    • hayeksplosives

      I admit to liking it. I would live there if it were located somewhere else.

      House screams “eccentric” so I do understand that it will take an odd buyer to want to live there, esp in Michigan.

  13. LCDR_Fish

    Ahoyhoy from the whales vagina. Re: milk – growing up overseas all we had was the powdered crap for decades. Got “used to” skim when I got to college…and then almond for some reason. Whole milk works fine now – but I do get the lactose-free stuff due to some issues.

    Wanted to throw out another recommendation for this week’s episode of the Charles CW Cooke podcast with the Ukraine debate – linked last night but easy to find on the NRO site.

    • Fourscore

      We had some artificial stuff in Spain that came in 10 quart boxes with a push button spigot. Maybe soy bean? Heavier than milk but after a couple weeks one got used to it. Returning to the states it took getting re-adjusted to milk but not very long.

  14. cyto

    Space nerds may be witnessing the birth of a new meme. The EU took to Twitter (X) to announce the successful launch of a pair of their Gallileo satellites. They scrupulously avoided naming the Falcon 9 or spaceX who stepped in to handle the launch that the ESA launchers were unable to do at the time. Instead they simply referred to “the launcher”.

    This was noticed by all and the jokes flowed like wine.

    https://twitter.com/SciGuySpace/status/1784462071205159144?s=19

    That might have been it… but with nerds who jump on a launch host accidentally saying “norminal” and turn it into a term of art, once is never enough.

    So, today’s launch wears the moniker.

    https://twitter.com/NASASpaceflight/status/1784691903746711990?s=19

    • Brochettaward

      You know how dirty they feel about having to work with the private sector on something like this. Especially Musk of all people.

    • Fourscore

      What a dismal looking place from the pictures. Businesses with no cars, no people. Looks like Podunkville in the winter.

    • Trials and Trippelations

      Yea Detroit has been paying out for those fluff pieces. I remember this past fall when my wife and I were looking where to escape to Detroit was named in a few places as an up and comer.

    • slumbrew

      I had a surprisingly good time in Detroit a few months back. Good food and much cheaper than I’m used to. Didn’t feel particularly dangerous.

      We never left the Midtown/corktown area , though. I imagine there are areas best avoided.

    • The Gunslinger

      – She kills them much too quickly. You’ve got to savor it,” explained Fauci. “You want to trap the dogs’ heads in a box where bugs gnaw their faces to death — after you’ve cut out their vocal cords, of course! Ah, puppy torture.”

      Savage.

    • creech

      How clueless does Noem have to be to put the dog story in her book?

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t know what the context would even be. Why would she find that story so important to put in a book? Why would she think it comes off as flattering is another whole question.

      • juris imprudent

        Makes you wonder about her editor too.

      • R C Dean

        I wanted to like her, but she somehow always wanted to put a foot wrong. Hard to see how this isn’t the final nail in her national ambitions (which is stupid, really, but whatev).

      • Ownbestenemy

        Am I the only one who doesn’t give a fuck about her having to put a dog down?

      • R C Dean

        Well, she didn’t have to. It didn’t attack a person. She chose to, because it wouldn’t behave (and did some damage, although what seems to have pissed her off the most is it spoiled a hunt). It’s a reflection of her character, and not a flattering one.

      • Ownbestenemy

        What do we know right? I mean, you were not there, I wasn’t there. I guess I am curious about how we are rating this as something that matters..

        Given what people do, this isn’t something I get worked up about.

      • Tres Cool

        Despite how much she tries to distance herself from DC, she’s bought and paid for by the machine. Just another apparatchik that knew damn well when that book went to print how the story would be spun. She shot that dog in the head for “not minding” and she’ll do the same to you, too. Not giving one fuck if you’re a dog or a dissenter to her cause.

        Trump as a businessman is a classic example of eggs/omlette. “Its a shame they had to die (be killed) over (x), but their legacy lives on, and we’re better because of it.”

    • juris imprudent

      The next one they could do is the unanimous endorsement of every LEO in the country.

  15. Derpetologist

    My Dinner With Florida Man

    A guy I met at AA invited me to dinner tonight. He regaled me with tales of his misadventures with drugs, gators, alcohol, adultery, and prison. He got his act together and his wife and kids came back to live with him. He’s younger than me and has more gray hair. Partying like a rock star does that to a guy.

    The gator story was a hoot. When he was a teen, he and his friends caught a 3 foot gator and kept it for a few days. Later, they decided it was best to return it to the wild. On their way to do that, they stopped smoke weed, put the gator in the bath tub, got really high, and forgot what they were doing. One of their mom discovered the gator while answering the call of nature and hilarity ensued.

    It makes me smile to imagine a stoned Florida lad pedaling around with a gator in the bike basket like in ET.

    • Shpip

      You’ll realize the longer you hang around that *every* Florida Man over the age of eleven has a gator story.

      In fact, in the public schools, right around second grade they teach you:

      a) if chased by a gator, run in a zig-zag pattern, and
      b) anything under six feet is pretty harmless as long as you stay away from the bitey bits when catching one with your bare hands.

      The first one’s a myth, but the second is spot-on.

      • CPRM

        Vanilla Ice is a Florida Man, I jut assumed his Zig Zag Stories was about maryjewwanna, but maybe it’s about running from gators.

  16. R C Dean

    If any TPTB are around:

    I put two posts in the hopper. The first one (the update) is probably a little more time sensitive. The other one is pure filler – use it to plug a hole in the schedule.

    That is all. Carry on.

    • Brochettaward

      I need to talk to the supervisor around here.

      • The Hyperbole

        I checked with my manager and he told me to tell you to go piss up a rope.

  17. Tres Cool

    Hey from the (216). I put the Tracker Testarossa through her paces on I-71, and didnt want to take chances in the morning in case something broke.

    TALL CLEVELAND CANS!

  18. ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

    Been a good day. Target practice pre-dawn, car show in the AM, dog park around noon, nap and then shop clean up (HA!, that will never happen) in the PM.

    Now, dinner is being cooked by the wife.

    • Aloysious

      Now that’s how you exploit patriarchal privilege.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      It’s been a good weekend here, too. I scored 2 free patio doors for the coming greenhouse, an assemble-it-yourself beehive, a Stihl MS251 chainsaw, a Stihl FS131 (2 horsepower!) weed/brush trimmer, a 10 foot drywall/panel lift, 40 no trespassing signs, and a free 100 pound propane tank. All from either Craigslist or Facederp Marketplace. All excellent deals. I love a good bargain.

      My girlfriend made focaccia bread topped with really good/expensive finishing salt. Paired with a pork loin and cauliflower/garlic whip.

      Of the 5 chickens I bought past this week, 1 died and fell off the roost. I threw it in the woods: the wolves or foxes will get a treat. I’m at 18 chickens now. I want more. We can easily sell the eggs. We are getting 9-12 eggs a day. I still want more chickens.

      /what’s going on at pistoffnick’s farm

      The wind was nuking all day. Great for sailing (wish I had a sailboat)(except for the 38 degree temperature)/ not great for getting things done outside. I was hoping to get a chicken run enclosed.

  19. Mojeaux

    Out and about helping XY move into his new apartment. And by “help,” I mean, “drive the truck.”

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Fly little bird, fly.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, our first attempt almost 2 years ago didn’t turn out well. Hope this one takes.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Society, good understanding, concord, overkindness, weakness.

    So someone is going to take advantage of me.

    • R.J.

      Loan me $30 for some Builleitt Rye?

  21. Ownbestenemy

    Lawn mowed…weeds pulled..Hype pissed off. Good day.

    • Timeloose

      Same here: lawn, garage cleaned, built a shed ramp for Mr. Time Sr.dammed hot today

  22. Gustave Lytton

    Did errands, fried chicken and tenpura for dinner. Found a soda spilled in the fridge so disassembled the shelving to clean it out. Scotch is being drank.

  23. CPRM

    O the Margarine V Butter discussion that has be done had. In Wisconsin into the 70s Margarine was ILLEGAL, so it was an act of defiance of the state that my grandparents would drive up the UP and import it. When I was growing up it was legal and we had it around for general purpose, because with 7 people in the family a stick of butter wouldn’t make it through the morning toast, but butter was always used for cooking.

    • Gustave Lytton

      *looks at petition to reinstitute self serve gas ban*

      I’ve got nothing.

    • rhywun

      Sounds like a car commercial. 🫤

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean & rhy! Greetings from the western shore of Lake Erie. Up here for a couple of nights at a state park lodge (yeah, yeah! Revoke my libertarian card – I don’t care!) since I was able to take time off work at month-end. So far VERY lucky with the weather – already 67 degrees ‘Murican!

      • rhywun

        Mornin’. Pretty. Calling for record high here in mid western central southern tier NY.

      • Gender Traitor

        mid western central southern tier NY

        By my calculations, that puts you approximately in….Arkansas?

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Lousy. All of it self-inflicted.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m sorry! 😟 Sleep schedule messed up?

      • UnCivilServant

        And the aftermath of pointless stress-eating.

      • Gender Traitor

        I hope you feel better soon! (And don’t beat yourself up!)

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not like there’s anyone else to blame for my actions. No one made me do any of it.

      • Gender Traitor

        I understand. Just recognize the natural consequences, learn, and move on. Don’t pile on.

      • rhywun

        Y’all come back now, y’hear!

      • Gender Traitor

        😄

  24. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey! ::waves from the other end of the pond::

  25. Fourscore

    Good morning, folks!

    More rain scheduled, we’ll take it and like it, after last year’s drought.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)! 🐝

    • Gender Traitor

      😆

      I get it! 😃

      Am I a nerd?? 😳

      • UnCivilServant

        Either that or you hang out with us a lot, and we’re definately nerds

    • Sean

      🙂