Saturday Morning Links That Made The Grade

by | May 4, 2024 | Daily Links | 161 comments

Teaching is mostly enjoyable. Grading, though… isn’t. And all my attempts to help the kids (like doing long-form problems instead of multiple choice so they can get partial credit) mean hours and hours of drudgery trying to follow their streams of unconsciousness. Is it any wonder that after the day was over yesterday, instead of buckling down and finishing finals grading, I decided to go out drinking? But here we are, the day after, and I still have a thick pile of papers to work through, and then spend a couple more hours with spreadsheets calculating final grades, and then going through the university’s arcane on-line process of entering all of the grade details… can’t we just solve the Schroedinger Equation instead?

And on the subject of details, one important one is whose birthdays fall on this date, and though notable ones are a bit sparser than normal, there is a guy who made a chunk of my childhood quite painful; a guy I can rightfully blame for how ignorant these kids are; a girl who became a metaphor and a Jefferson Airplane song; a guy who would come close to popping a major vein every time he was on stage; a guy who was inconvenient to Obama and consequently eliminated; some skinny chick who couldn’t sing; a guy whose name has been synonymous with state-of-the-art bass playing; a guy who Wikipedia assures me is a libertarian but is hilariously not; a guy who is the exact opposite of a libertarian; and a woman whose name became a joke but is actually quite bright and articulate.

What is not bright and articulate is the Links, but here they are anyway.

 

I’ll be fascinated to see what happens here at Oberlin East.

 

There are some things so shitty that even Gen Z won’t do it.

 

I wish I could find this story on their Pidgin site.

 

NOW they tell us. The irony, it burns.

 

Biden’s fingerprints (and TBH, not really his, but all the Obama retreads’) are all over this.

 

It’s just high spirits, nothing to see here. Besides, the problem is the Jews.

 

Plant food isn’t going to hurt us.

 

One more long-form Old Guy Music but sooooooo worth it. I remember this club from my teen years (sneaking in) and was lucky enough to see these guys several times before Morgan had an unfortunate marital spat.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

161 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    Teaching is mostly enjoyable – sounds unlikely

    Grading, though… isn’t. – fail em all and let God choose

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, I was thinking that he should just give them all an F.

  2. Ted S.

    some skinny chick who couldn’t sing;

    Tres Cool would like to wish Lizzo a happy birthday!

    • SDF-7

      Well played… but *shudder* at the concept…

    • Chafed

      Lol

  3. Gender Traitor

    Thanks very much for the archived versions of the NYT stories for those of us who would prefer not to give them money or personal info. The second one came out a bit wonky for me, but that’s probably a function of all the embedded photos & video. If I scroll far enough, I can get the gist of it. 🙂

    • SDF-7

      Seconded on the thanks.

      What I just love is their takeaway — more centralized (federal) medical records and oversight. More power to the FedGov. Yay.

      • Chafed

        If we just government hard enough, then we will have our paradise.

    • R C Dean

      The archives just flat don’t work for me most of the time.

  4. Ted S.

    a guy who Wikipedia assures me is a libertarian but is hilariously not;

    Happy birthday Wil Wheaton!

    • SDF-7

      I thought Wheaton would be “a guy who everyone assures me is an asshole and most certainly is”.

      • SDF-7

        I agree with the article writer — Wesley was insufferable as of “The Naked Now” at the minimum, by “The Battle” it was already a given – that dialogue line wasn’t needed.

      • SDF-7

        Also also (as long as I’m ranting about Wesley, not Wheaton who remains insufferable) — when they kicked Gene upstairs and did the Academy era Wesley he improved in likability a lot. By the time he left with the Traveler I was fine with him — he’d had his share of overconfident fuckups to work through after all.

      • rhywun

        Amazingly, he’s more of an asshole now than he ever was on ST:TNG.

  5. PieInTheSky

    There are some things so shitty that even Gen Z won’t do it. – i blame white men myself

    • SDF-7

      Always going for the easy answer there, Pie… I blame the Patriarchy and Western Civilization for your lack of intellectual curiosity!

  6. rhywun

    Schools that are capitulating to the paid agitators are going to regret it.

    commitments from the activists that no disruptions would happen at commencement

    LOL dumbasses

    • Gender Traitor

      My college commencement ceremony could have stood some disruption to interrupt the tedium. 🙄

      • rhywun

        I never went to mine. It took me five years and I was so over it all by the end.

      • Gender Traitor

        Inorite?? I pretty much did it for my freshly-divorced parents – both alums – who were only an hour away, so “Oh, don’t make such a long trip!” wasn’t going to work. 😒

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Me neither. The speaker was someone I had never heard of.

      • Spartacus

        My son is walking tomorrow. He started college in 2001.

      • SDF-7

        If I’m to believe 70s and 80s movies this used to be done with streaking instead of political shrieking at least.

        And no — I never saw much point. Went to HS (because I think I had to), BSCS didn’t see any point – was already enrolled for my post-grad… MSCS I think I was more focused on moving out to where my job was at that point. It wasn’t really important to me in any event — the work done to be recognized as having the skills to get out and get a job was. (And since I knew I wasn’t cut out for research, didn’t need/want a PhD, so the academic life was irrelevant).

    • Chafed

      The school admins are idiots. They are asking for more of the same.

  7. PieInTheSky

    Plant food isn’t going to hurt us. – the food of the food of my food

  8. Ted S.

    and a woman whose name became a joke but is actually quite bright and articulate.

    Then this should have been Old Guy Music.

    She was also in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

  9. PieInTheSky

    the cork on my wine bottle crumbled and got into the wine. i feel OMWC is somehow to blame

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s not normally how wine gets corked.

    • SDF-7

      The Columbo Any Old Port In a Storm episode tells me you just need to properly decant it and let it breathe. (You’ll filter the cork with the other sediments, after all…)

      And that’s about the extent of my wine knowledge. Well, that and “Don’t store it in a wine cellar where you turn the AC off to asphyxiate your half-brother while you go to NYC for a week because it will get too hot in SoCal…”

      • rhywun

        And for heaven’s sake don’t take your eye off the cork when your companion has a needle full of poison hidden in his sleeve.

      • SDF-7

        I thought that episode the critic switched the bottle openers in the drawer… but been a while.

      • Chafed

        That’s always good advice

  10. PieInTheSky

    i feel chances of banging the undergrads increase with not being Jewish.

    • SDF-7

      One would hope/presume this isn’t true in Israel.

  11. EvilSheldon

    Good morning all! How’s the weekend shaping up so far?

    Myself, I’m hanging around a Starbucks while the dealer replaces the power inverter in my truck. Then, off to the range!

    • Nephilium

      Not bad, I’m up and waiting for my sister to drop off the nephews for a day of comic books, candy, and hanging out.

      The eldest just hit 16, and from previous discussions, has no interest in a drivers license. This frightens and confuses old man me. Then I started thinking about it, when I was a teen, we would want to go to arcades, malls, movies, parks, and the like. Of all of those, there’s really just the parks around for the teens of today. So there’s at least some reason behind it.

      I’m still going to give him some shit that next year he can drive him and his brother to the comic shop and meet me there though.

      • EvilSheldon

        Really? No camping trips, no road trips with friends? No following Lollapalooza around? No having a private place away from the parents for…reasons?

        I think that old Nephilium is right to be confused and frightened here.

      • Nephilium

        The not wanting a license is fairly common among the younger generations from what I’ve seen. Several of my friends with children around that age have had the same experience with their kids not wanting to get their license.

        I’m sure a part of it is the death of the teenage job market, the rising cost of vehicles, and the ease of video calls/conferences. It’s the first real and true generation gap thing that I can’t wrap my head around, it’s anathema to me. The girlfriend gets it more, but she also didn’t get her license until she was 18 or so.

      • UnCivilServant

        I couldn’t afford the other costs associated until I got a job.

        That was in college.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, EvilShel!

      As I hinted late in the overnight thread, I plan to sweep the winter’s debris from the back patio, uncover and unfold the long-suffering futon frame, and wrestle the giant slightly-mildewed marshmallow that is my old futon from its winter cocoon in the garage onto said frame, thereby opening my Spring and Summer sanctuary, Tranquility Base, for the season!

      Sorry you got stuck at Starbucks. 😝

      • EvilSheldon

        Better Starbucks than the waiting room at the dealership. There’s only so much HGTV one can take…

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, yeah – am I the first to spout the obligatory “May the Fourth be with you”?

      • SDF-7

        Apparently. You can tell I’m more of a Trek (before the Abrams era and it all went to shit) person… the May 4th bit didn’t even cross my mind this morning!

        May Wookies not shed all over your house or somesuch….

      • Nephilium

        Due to that, I’ll need to take the girlfriend to a local bar that’s doing special drinks for May the Fourth. One of them is a Grogu Martini:

        Midori, vodka, lime juice, lemon juice, soda. Two blueberries on a skewer to make eyes, and two lime wedges to make ears, wrapped in a brown napkin.

      • SDF-7

        You should go dressed as Han so you have to take a shot first.

      • rhywun

        Why is this a thing all of a sudden and can it please not be a thing anymore? I have already seen it half a dozen times this morning.

      • Nephilium

        It’s been a thing for over a decade, it’s just started become more mainstream now. The 501st were routinely in attendance at free comic book day events and doing things for the 4th.

        It’s only been in the past couple of years that the MCU hasn’t been releasing a big movie on the first Saturday in May. They used to coordinate their movie releases with FCBD to get more free publicity for them (and hand out tie in comics).

      • Nephilium

        Stay dry down there. Thunderstorms all weekend up here, with some of the lower valley roads flooded out (expected after any heavy rainstorm).

      • Gender Traitor

        Looks as if the rain will be spotty/intermittent down here, at least this afternoon. Happily, the patio has an aluminum roof, so mild rain isn’t too much of a deterrent.

        The bigger question is whether tomorrow’s Dayton Dragons day game will get rained out. 😕⚾☔🌧⛈🌧

      • R C Dean

        What is this rain of which you speak?

      • juris imprudent

        You have to wait until things are properly warmed up out there for monsoon season.

      • Gender Traitor

        Fallout of dihydrogen monoxide?

    • SDF-7

      Kind of crappy — recently fixed car…. had the engine die again going down I-5. Haven’t heard back from the mechanic if it is the same sensor they replaced two weeks ago for the exact same symptoms (engine refuses to run… they said with that sensor blow the computer basically didn’t know when to fire the plugs). If it is, I strongly suspect the real problem is a short frying said sensor… but we’ll see.

      That’s annoying enough — but also woke up with a migraine that isn’t getting better. Yay.

      Just going to make dutch oven pulled pork (because my grill rusted out over the winter and I still want to move back East so am not buying a replacement) — it works much better than you think in the oven, I have to say — sear it in smaller chunks on all sides first and you still get that bits of crust / char taste, then watch the Miami F1 stuff later today. Assuming my head dies down enough.

      • Gender Traitor

        So sorry about your head! Hope you get some relief ASAP! 😟

      • SDF-7

        Thanks. Appreciated (And you as well, ES — I don’t want to reply in singletons…)

      • EvilSheldon

        Ew, bummer. Hope you feel better soon.

      • The Last American Hero

        Electric cars are a joke. The quality is shit.

    • juris imprudent

      I seem to be suffering from allergies, the rain here is knocking something out of the air and I’m feeling a bit better.

      • SDF-7

        My are probably allergies as well — but rain actually usually makes it worse in these parts. The front moving through shakes everything off the plants first – then the weeds (adapted to the semi-arid conditions, I expect) go into overdrive when they get any moisture.

        I think the rest of the time I’m just allergic to whatever they spray on the almond orchards around here.

        Doing the usual anti-allergy + ibuprofen routine… hopefully it’ll kick in in an hour or two to at least dull things.

  12. SDF-7

    Biden’s fingerprints (and TBH, not really his, but all the Obama retreads’) are all over this.

    Any peace agreement or ceasefire that leaves Hamas in place is bullshit to me. No other nation on earth would be expected to put up with a nation state that attacked them this way, sitting on their border (and expecting them to provide key infrastructure and services no less).

    I feel for the Palestinian people themselves, I want them to grow up outside of the brainwashing they’ve been subjected to (ha! fat chance!), but I think Hamas as a government has proven it is completely unacceptable.

    And no — I don’t have easy solutions for this… but letting Hamas survive just means the timer is reset until the next attack. (Ok, driving oil prices down so their puppeteer Iran doesn’t have spare cash to stir up shit would help…)

    • Ted S.

      And after the next round of hostage-taking, can we blame those who wanted a deal regardless of the price?

    • juris imprudent

      The only way to displace Hamas is to fully occupy Gaza and install a new govt. Good luck with that. I say let the Palestinian people enjoy the govt they accept, just like we do here.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It’s a lose-lose situation anyway it shakes out.

      • juris imprudent

        Isn’t that always the case with govt?

      • Ted S.

        Of course, as we saw on October 7, the Hamas government is actively trying to destroy its neighbor, which is unsurprisingly intolerable for said neighbor.

      • juris imprudent

        Some day the Palestinians do need to figure out the Jews treat them better than Hamas does.

      • SDF-7

        If they’d keep it in their borders, I’d be fine with that. Well, no — I probably wouldn’t be “fine” because I personally disagree with Islam and Sharia Law and how it basically enslaves everyone who isn’t at the top in a lot of ways from my perspective… but I would recognize it as their choice because I don’t like telling other cultures or populations what to do (very much in the cultural competition / show them our system works mode when it comes to that… which is a hard sell admittedly right now).

        Of course — I’m sure there’s a sizeable chunk of the world saying the same damned thing about the Imperial District, granted… and I wish we would.

    • R C Dean

      Something like:

      (1) Nothing and nobody crosses in either direction between Gaza and Israel. Maybe dig a ditch down the entire border and fill it with seawater.

      (2) Automated counter fire. Any rockets, missiles, mortars, whatever, trigger a response, say, a couple-three 155 shells, no matter what. As inevitable as getting shocked when you stick a fork in a wall outlet. Yeah, they’ll shoot from hospitals and grade schools, the *spit* international community will be outraged. Who cares? Fuck them.

      • Chafed

        Long and hard.

  13. TARDis

    So the king’s men don’t show up for hours and then wait around before doing anything? Is it possible they weren’t there to do the right thing and disperse the useful idiots? Maybe they wanted there to be a reason to bust some counter-protesters heads. The whole encampment should have been tear gassed.

    Also, fuck the NYT.

    • R C Dean

      “Maybe they wanted there to be a reason to bust some counter-protesters heads.”

      This reminds me of the absolutely intentional and engineered clusterfuck in Charlottesville.

    • SDF-7

      Also, fuck the NYT.

      Given what we’ve seen of who works there over the years? I wouldn’t wish that task on STEVE SMITH.

    • EvilSheldon

      Intentional? Maybe to a degree. But remember that police are still bureaucratic organizations. By default, they’re going to respond to a crisis by trying to ignore it in the hope that it goes away.

      • R C Dean

        Or, use it to expand their empire. There was a story here about a SWAT response awhile ago – barricaded shooter, etc. Many rounds fired, very telegenic for the TV news, nobody hurt except the shooter who offed himself.

        So what does the Sheriff say? “We need more muneez.” Looked to me like they had everything they needed and then some. But the response is as universal and inevitable as a dementia case shitting his pants.

      • TARDis

        If the roles were reversed, the encampment would been attacked the first day. Imagine a MAGA group setting up a protest camp in Central Park to protest Trump’s kangaroo court trial. Hochul’s henchmen would be all over that.

      • R C Dean

        I suspect the disappointing lack of truncheons at the current camp-clearing operations would have been remedied, as well.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The Covid vaccines, a triumph of science and public health, are estimated to have prevented millions of hospitalizations and deaths.

    Aaaand done.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hey just because there is absolutely no way to know if this is true, Trust Us Inc is dedicating to telling you anyway.

      • SDF-7

        It isn’t like they’d have an economic reason to fellate the drug companies with all the ads they buy these days or anything.

      • juris imprudent

        Not even that, they’re fully on board with “everything within the state…”.

      • Chafed

        100%

    • Old Man With Candy

      It’s completely a true statement. It was estimated. It might be completely incorrect, but someone still made that estimate.

      • juris imprudent

        And the estimate conformed with intentions – so no need to actually examine results!

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Last night’s “Stay Tuned” youtube was Tony Angelo and Derek from Vice Grip looking at car ads. “Is this guy nuts?” was in heavy repeat. Very entertaining.

  16. SDF-7

    I played https://squaredle.com/xp 05/04:
    *24/24 words (+3 bonus words)
    🎯 Perfect accuracy

    I played https://squaredle.com 05/04:
    *44/44 words (+3 bonus words)
    🎯 Perfect accuracy
    🔥 Solve streak: 358

    • Ted S.

      I played https://squaredle.com 05/04:
      44/44 words (+12 bonus words)
      🎯 In the top 6% by accuracy
      🔥 Solve streak: 1

  17. The Late P Brooks

    It isn’t like they’d have an economic reason to fellate the drug companies with all the ads they buy these days or anything.

    I honestly don’t believe that has much of anything to do with it. It’s an integral part of the catechism. One cannot allow doubt to corrupt one’s faith, or the world will be revealed as it is: chaos and despair.

    • SDF-7

      “Chaos, despair and political corruption”

      “Alright, three terrible things about the world…”

      “Oh, and fanatical devotion to the Pudding Head!”

      “Four… there are four terrible… oh, let’s just come in again…”

    • The Last American Hero

      Pretty interesting that long Covid is seen as totally legitimate but vax injuries are qanon bs according to the right thinkers. After all, the vax was rigorously vetted for years before being deployed.

  18. UnCivilServant

    “SciFi Medical Robot – Powered by Autism”

    Okay, okay, the text is on different parts of the thumbnail image, and the model was produced by a charity that tried to help autistic adults be productive. But my brain got stuck on somehow using that to power a medical robot.

    The 3d model in question. The work itself isn’t bad. I just kept getting tripped up by the choice of text.

    • R C Dean

      I thought we weren’t allowed to say “autism” any more. Isn’t it “neurodivergent” now?

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Is this a great country, or what?

    Five years after setting some of the most ambitious climate targets in the nation, Ithaca, N.Y., is hoping to set a new standard. The city council unanimously voted this week to require that half the funding spent on its energy transition and on major infrastructure investments go toward those residents most at risk from climate change.

    The vote makes Ithaca the first U.S. city to set a ‘climate justice’ spending benchmark higher than the target set by the Biden Administration.

    ——-

    “It’s impossible to separate economic and social injustice from the impacts of climate change,” said Ithaca mayor Robert Cantelmo in an interview just after the council voted unanimously to adopt the new framework, called Justice50. The legislation, he said, is an attempt to right the city’s history of putting poorer communities in the path of more pollution and environmental disinvestment.

    The Justice50 framework will require that half the city’s spending on major infrastructure upgrades and its Green New Deal reach communities most vulnerable to climate change. That includes the city’s historically Black Southside neighborhood, much of which the federal government recently designated a flood-risk zone. New investments could include greater flood protection in at-risk neighborhoods, and helping lower-income residents reduce energy costs, the mayor said.

    They should demolish those poor black people’s homes and turn that area into a wildlife preserve and eco-sanctuary.

    • juris imprudent

      the city’s historically Black Southside neighborhood

      Hmm, is that liberal-speak for the ghetto that blacks were confined to? Isn’t history just chock full of injustice – why preserve that history?

    • rhywun

      historically Black Southside neighborhood

      Pssst. it’s mostly white now.

      • Ted S.

        How many poor blacks wound up in a place like Ithaca during the Great Migration, anyway?

      • rhywun

        Doubt very many. Making guns, maybe?

        They used to make typewriters in a nearby village. *shrug*

  20. Cunctator

    So, what is the deal with pro-Hamas demonstrators and bananas? I have seen several memes about it, but I must have missed the story the memes are based on (on which the memes are based).

    • UnCivilServant

      At one particular protest there was a person with an allergy, so the protestors put up “No Bananas” signs. The counter protestors, simply seeing the signs, brought bananas specifically because of the signs forbidding them.

    • Nephilium

      There was a group (I want to say in UCLA) that was pro-Hamas protesting and occupied an area that had a member that had a banana allergy (that they claimed could be fatal), so they posted signs around their encampment banning bananas. This caused the obvious and foreseen response of people mocking them by bringing bananas. The reaction from the protesting group included one histrionic person claiming that people were waving bananas at them just like colonizers waving machine guns.

      Then the mockery intensified.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’d forgotten about the shrieking breakdowns.

        I do tend to blot those out.

      • Gender Traitor

        a banana allergy (that they claimed could be fatal)

        When did food allergies become so virulent that the victims could presumably be vaporized by being within a mile of the substance? (See also: peanut/peanut butter bans in school cafeterias.) What ever happened to just…I dunno…not eating the offending food?

      • R C Dean

        How are you going to impose your demands on other people that way?

      • Nephilium

        It doesn’t help that some people conflate allergy, sensitivity, and dislike. I’ve had people say they were “allergic” to tomatoes while dunking fries in ketchup, Hell, look at all the people who claim to be allergic to MSG, but have no problem with Parmesan cheese.

      • Gender Traitor

        “I’m allergic to alcohol. I break out in handcuffs.”/some recovering drunk (Tommy Womack?)

      • EvilSheldon

        Right about the time that the panic-funded 24-hour news cycle spun up.

        If I have to read another dimwit freaking out about aerosol exposure to peanuts…

      • Gender Traitor

        There goes my brilliant million-dollar idea for spray-on peanut butter! 😞

      • Nephilium

        Well, there’s already powdered peanut butter (it’s commonly used in beers that have peanut butter as an ingredient).

      • Homple

        Anything with peanut butter in it cannot be called beer.

      • Plinker762

        Fully semiautomatic bananas?

    • slumbrew

      “So, what is the deal with pro-Hamas demonstrators and bananas?”

      I can only hear that in Jerry Seinfeld’s voice.

      “Who are these people?!”

    • Cunctator

      Thanks for all of the replies.

  21. PieInTheSky

    Windy day today. Not many birds on the lake, just two egrets and two coots.

    • PieInTheSky

      And one coemorant

    • SDF-7

      There’s only one old coot hanging around my house (and he happens to be using the keyboard…)

      • TARDis

        *keyboard coot waves*

    • Old Man With Candy

      Wine day today. Went to a tasting last night at a place in the Niagara Escarpment region. Weirdly, the reds grown there are particularly dark and rich, some superb Cabernet Franc and Pinot Noir. I have one of their estate vineyard Pinots next to me as I ruin the futures of aspiring engineers, biologists, and materials scientists by failing them in Intro Chemistry. It’s quite delicious.

      • Ted S.

        The wine, or flunking the students?

      • PieInTheSky

        Both I assume, they pair well.

      • PieInTheSky

        I have a romanian pinot noir at a nice low 12% alcohol. I like.

      • PieInTheSky

        the reds grown there are particularly dark and rich – climate change.

  22. Q Continuum

    ‘“I feel bad for those people,” said Dr. Woodcock, who became the F.D.A.’s acting commissioner in January 2021 as the vaccines were rolling out. “I believe their suffering should be acknowledged, that they have real problems, and they should be taken seriously.”’

    Dr. Mengele has nothing but sympathy for the unintended negative effects of his important research.

    • juris imprudent

      He certainly isn’t going to get the job permanently with that attitude.

    • Grumbletarian

      Dr. Woodcock

      Steel Panther album?

      • Chafed

        Somebody gets it. Thank you.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    The new framework is modeled after a federal initiative, called Justice40. In 2021, President Biden signed an executive order directing that 40% of the overall benefits of certain federal climate and energy spending should flow to communities that have been heavily polluted or have historically lacked public investment. That came after New York State passed its own legislation requiring that disadvantaged communities receive at least 35% of state spending on clean energy initiatives under its 2019 Climate Leadership and Community Protection Act.

    I might find this slightly less absurdly risible if I had even the faintest confidence that it was based on some feeble understanding of the concept of marginal gain. But I don’t.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    two coots.

    You brought a friend?

    • SDF-7

      Wrong link — or were you intentionally making a joke about her being a ride share?

      • PieInTheSky

        Seem clearly a joke

    • EvilSheldon

      Okay, yeah. That was some riding right there.

      • Pine_Tree

        Gotta hand it to everybody involved, actually – hanger-on included.

    • Chafed

      That was insane.

    • KSuellington

      Brasil for the win. There is another insane one out of Brasil that is at night floating around on Reddit if you care to watch.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    “Local guardrails are no substitute for federal guardrails, but they are really important nevertheless,” Callahan said.

    Guardrails. What a fantastic analogy. Without guardrails, we will slide helplessly over the cliff and plummet to a fiery death. Save us, Big Guardrail!

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of heinous crimes

    Two Florida teens seen in a viral video dumping trash into the Atlantic Ocean from a boat turned themselves into authorities on Friday and face a felony pollution charge, according to officials and court records.

    The suspects, a 15-year-old from Gulf Stream and a 16-year-old from Boynton Beach, are charged with one count each of causing pollution, so as to harm or injure human health or welfare, animal, plant, or aquatic life or property, according to arrest reports filed by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, or FWC.

    The charge is a third-degree felony and carries a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $50,000 fine if convicted, according to the arrest report.

    They should have dumped the trash on a college campus. They’d be heroes.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    In a statement, the parents of one of the teens involved apologized to everyone impacted and “rightfully upset by what occurred,” and said they are cooperating with authorities.

    “We take the responsibility of caring for our oceans and our community very seriously, and we are extremely saddened by what occurred last weekend at Boca Bash,” the statement said.

    It said the family agrees “that this is a teaching moment for the young kids involved and they should certainly participate in community service and ocean conservation efforts to deepen their understanding of the importance of our community and environment.”

    Ritual public self-abasement and repentance will be required.

    • Chafed

      Come on. They should have waited to return to the marina and thrown their garbage away.

  28. Spartacus

    ” Is it any wonder that after the day was over yesterday, instead of buckling down and finishing finals grading, I decided to go out drinking? ”

    As one who is also in the middle of grading finals, and making some attempt to wade through muddled half-solutions ( Once you take the antiderivative YOU DON’T NEED THE GODDAMNINTEGRAL SIGN ANYMORE), I can completely relate. In fact, I really should be grading exams right now. The one bright side is that you don’t need to write any comments since nobody will see them or benefit from them.

  29. Spartacus

    a guy who would come close to popping a major vein every time he was on stage

    I thought it was going to be Joe Cocker.

    • R.J.

      Me too.

      • Gender Traitor

        I was thinking Sam Kinison.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    One of the best

    “In terms of his campaign, you know, I am thinking back and other people are making this reference that this may be Biden’s Vietnam. Lyndon Johnson, in many respects, was a very, very good president. … He chose not to run in ‘68 because of opposition to his views on Vietnam,” the Vermont independent told CNN’s Christiane Amanpour.

    Poor LBJ. Think of how much better off we’d be right now if he had run and beaten Nixon.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    To the senator’s point, 81% of voters under 35 said in a recent CNN poll that they disapproved of the president’s handling of the Israel-Hamas war.

    I love statements like this. Now break it down: too pro-Israel, not pro-Israel enough, or why the fuck should we care if a bunch of halfwit religious fanatics on the other side of the world slaughter each other?

    • rhywun

      What about all the other wars around the world that we should be “handling”? I mean, come on.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    While Biden said at the beginning of his White House remarks that “this isn’t a moment for politics,” he took one clear shot at his 2024 election foe, who has been demanding the deployment of the National Guard to crush protests. “We are not an authoritarian nation where we silence people or squash dissent,” Biden said.

    *pause for laughter*

    • Gustave Lytton

      And anyone who disagrees will be squished like a bug.

  33. Gustave Lytton

    These demonstrators should just open up their Aloha Snackbars if they’re hungry.