Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Turn Another Page

by | May 29, 2024 | Daily Links | 137 comments

We have been building The Wall on the wrong border.

Trudeau to give 5,000 visas to Palestinian refugees for resettlement in Canada

On Monday, the Trudeau Liberals revealed that they had decided to quintuple the number of visas they would be issuing to people in Gaza with family members in Canada. A total of 5,000 temporary resident visas will be granted to those fleeing the war-torn territory, far more than the original 1,000 announced in December.

“Many people are worried about their loved ones and have expressed significant interest in the temporary special measures we introduced for their extended family in Gaza,” Immigration Minister Marc Miller wrote in a statement.

“That is why, as part of our humanitarian response, we have increased the number of temporary resident visa applications that will be accepted into processing as part of these measures from 1,000 to 5,000. Over the past few weeks, we have been issuing more web codes so that clients can apply for a temporary resident visa.” He noted that, “while movement out of Gaza is not currently possible, the situation may change at any time,” adding that, “our focus remains on keeping families together.”

“Canada continues to put forward the names of those who have passed preliminary screening to local authorities to secure their exit from Gaza,” Miller continued. “Israel and Egypt are both important partners in implementing these temporary, humanitarian measures and helping people reunite with their family in Canada. Canada is working—at every level—to facilitate the exit of extended family members and advocate for their safety.”

Those selected undergo a multi-stage vetting process which begins with an initial screening while they are still in Gaza. They are then subject to biometric, security, and admissibility screenings in a third country.

“Only applicants who pass full bioetric, security, and admissibility screening will be allowed to travel onward to Canada,” immigration department spokesperson Matthew Krupovich told the National Post, noting that “only Government Canada officials” can make the final call.

When they start shelling Maine, I propose we send them Stephen King in a prisoner swap.


Dead whale floating off Oregon coast washes ashore north of Nehalem Jetty

NOAA says the whale washed ashore Monday morning about a mile north of the north Nehalem Jetty, in Nehalem Bay State Park.

People are being asked to stay away from the carcass so NOAA can conduct an exam of the whale.

A) Dynamite!

2) “Fellows, let’s be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish.”


Look, the 2024 Presidential Polls Don’t Really Make That Much Sense

Slate chooses “cope and seethe.”



About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

137 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    Now the SugarFree lady changes colors.

    • Tonio

      Not just that illo. All the feed illos do that by default now. When you mouse over the image (I think the actual Windows term is “focus” on an element) you see the image in full color; otherwise you see a version of the image with less color saturation, like you turned down the Color knob on an old analog TV. I think there’s an override control.

      • R.J.

        That is weird.

      • rhywun

        Huh. I guess that means “I am selected”. I thought I noticed that in my hindbrain.

  2. Common Tater

    Are there even 5,000 people in Canada?

    • slumbrew

      They’re not really people, with those floppy heads

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Not yet, their public health system is working on it though.

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Rat on a train

        Welcome to Canada. Would you like to kill yourself?

      • juris imprudent

        Are you sure? We’d be happy to help.

  3. Common Tater

    “People are being asked to stay away from the carcass so NOAA can conduct an exam of the whale.”

    What about Richard Dreyfus in a dress?

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Richard Dreyfus has been canceled

    • Compelled Speechless

      The ghost of John McAfee already called dibs.

      • Bobarian LMD

        How do you think the whale died? Plugged blow hole.

      • Compelled Speechless

        “The examiner found the blowhole to be plugged with a mixture of semen and what seems to be ectoplasm, creating a sort of epoxy.”

    • juris imprudent

      They may not yet have notified Lena Dunham’s next of kin.

      • Compelled Speechless

        That would be next of pod.

      • juris imprudent

        Now, we can’t impugn her whole family just because she can be mistaken for a cetacean.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        One of the best moments of TV EVAH!

        The Fish…

        Mamale.

        Whatever…

      • Sensei

        First thought ZWAK

      • Shpip
  4. Aloysious

    People are being asked to stay away from the carcass so NOAA can conduct an exam of the whale.

    Yes, it is my opinion he is dead.

  5. bacon-magic

    No salsa links?

    • The Other Kevin

      Opportunity missed. Or, he’s being nice to us.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        He is just trying to maintain the Pace.

      • juris imprudent

        There’s a pico de gallo joke in there, under the folds.

      • bacon-magic

        Maybe he’s just too chunky, salsa could be he’s too thin.

  6. Drake

    Breaking news! Antisemitism on the rise in Canada.

    Early research points to white supremacists.

    • Aloysious

      How can that possibly be? These mysteries are so mysterious. Really. It’s a mystery.

  7. Shpip

    “Only applicants who pass full bioetric, security, and admissibility screening will be allowed to travel onward to Canada,” immigration department spokesperson Matthew Krupovich told the National Post, noting that “only Government Canada officials” can make the final call.

    What are the chances that Canada actually vets these people, as opposed to waving them through if they pinky swear not to blow themselves up at the local farmers market?

    • Tonio

      And what is this bio[m]etric database they are comparing these ppl to?

      “Haloo, Hamas? Oui, this is Government du Canada. Can we have your biometric database of all your fighters?”

      Now, if it’s a database compiled by Israel of convicted terrorists I’ll be impressed.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I would presume that, as they are FVEY members, they are privy to the GWOT-generated databases with that information.

      • rhywun

        “C’mon… help us out, buddy!”

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’m not your Buddy, Pal!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      It will be like the visa applications to the US: “Are you a member of an terrorist organization?”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Apply for a Discover card instead. They’ll take anyone.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I’m surprised Mastercard hasn’t changed its name yet.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Slave(totheman)Card?

      • rhywun

        Maincard.

        (thanks, git)

  8. DEG

    I forgot today was SugarFree day.

    “Should I have told her that’s how you choose Jill to be your wife?” he asked his sleeping father.

    Love. Pure love.

    We have been building The Wall on the wrong border.

    We have to let Rufus and other Canadian libertarians in first.

    A) Dynamite!

    🙂

  9. rhywun

    Slate chooses “cope and seethe.”

    Also, “live in an alternate reality”.

    • Sensei

      The article is brilliant in its cognitive dissonance. Slate does not disappoint.

      Decades ago I actually had a paid subscription.

  10. Tonio

    “The economy is also looking good for Biden these days, or should be. Inflation has slowed down—and, in any case, high prices don’t seem to have caused him to lose significant support in other age groups. Unemployment is historically low.”

    LOL.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Who’s not believing The Narrative? Who!

      I’m telling you, there will be big trouble for anyone not towing the lion!

      • The Other Kevin

        The whole “narrative” concept, though frustrating to us, was pretty effective for a while. But now that it directly contradicts what people are seeing with their own eyes, it just looks crazy.

    • rhywun

      “Or should be.”

      Good grief. That’s some top-shelf journalisming.

  11. Pope Jimbo

    Ain’t small town life grand?

    Being one of the few people of color who live in Kettle River, 42 miles southwest of Duluth, Councilmember Monique Doward wants to improve her hometown. For example, she tried to apply for a grant to fix the city playground. “The kids deserve it,” Doward said, showing off the sinking play structure during a recent MSR visit.

    Though she submitted the application, Mayor David Lucas had it withdrawn because their colleagues hadn’t approved it and they didn’t have the matching funds. “We have a very small budget and we have a very tight budget,” said Lucas.

    Doward’s lawsuits, complaints, and attempt to fund a new playground are among the reasons her colleagues decided to censure her on May 21. She is the fourth known locally elected official in Minnesota to be censured this year. While she believes race played a factor, her colleagues say she simply isn’t following the rules.

    Not only does the small town have an asshole as a new resident, they also have an asshole who has been there forever. The two of them were made for each other.

    In June of 2022, the city council passed a resolution permitting Doward to access city hall only when Lake is not alone, as they each sought legal action against one another. In February 2023, Doward countersued [City Clerk Kathy] Lake, alleging she threatened to “pop” her.

    “I was talking to another resident, and I told [the resident], ‘I’m gonna pop you one of these days,” said Lake. The case is pending.

    [Doward] did prevail once when she found Lake unilaterally changed an ordinance to prohibit free-range chickens. Lake was suspended for five days and put on one-year probation, and the city council canceled a pay increase.

    • Tonio

      “Lake was suspended for five days and put on one-year probation, and the city council canceled a pay increase.”

      Wow, surprised there were consequences. Good on Duluth.

      Also, I just noticed that blockquotes now have a spiffy blue bar of blockquoteyness, not the plain black bar of old.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Is there a trick to make blockquotes retain a blank line between the paragraphs?

      • bacon-magic

        Support the blue! *gets detained and tased

      • slumbrew

        Deserunt officia eiusmod consectetur aliqua

        Enim labore ea laboris cupidatat ea cillum

        Just include a blank line within the blockquote

      • slumbrew

        Oooh, preview lied to me

      • slumbrew

        Testing

        Tempor occaecat ex laborum sint dolor
         
        Non aute sit qui

      • slumbrew

        Adding a line with a non-breaking space works

         

    • Shpip

      Doward and her family moved to Minnesota after they were ravaged by Hurricane Michael in 2018.

      Oh, shit. Florida Woman, extra sassy edition. Minnesota Nice don’t know what hit them. Here’s hoping they figure it out and deal with her in an appropriate manner.

    • R.J.

      “I’m the only person of color in the village.”

  12. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. White folx just can’t win. I would propose that a lynching rope is way more of an artifact of white culture than Indian culture. I mean isn’t lynching what we are known for?

    After a several-month consultation process, the Minnesota Historical Society has agreed to return the “Mankato hanging rope,” used to execute a Dakota man in 1862, to the Prairie Island Indian Community.

    Tribal leaders filed a claim earlier this year under the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, a law that establishes tribal ownership over cultural items and requires federally funded agencies to return certain Native objects to the people or tribal lands they came from.

    The noose in question was used to execute Wicanhpi Wastedanpi (also known as Chaske), one of 38 Dakota men imprisoned and hanged in December 1862 in Mankato following the United States-Dakota War of 1862, according to the historical society. The hanging of the Dakota men remains the largest single-day mass execution in U.S. history.

    No mention in the article about the 500+ settlers who were killed in the Sioux Uprising.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      White settlers, that’s different

    • The Other Kevin

      Jimbo, just emailed you my itinerary for the weekend.

  13. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    “Dead whale floating off Oregon coast”

    Did Lizzo have a concert in Portland?

    • juris imprudent

      My Lena Dunham reference posted at the exact same time.

      Great minds with minor divergences.

      • bacon-magic

        What do you call Lizzo and Lena scissoring?
        I’ll go first: dueling jaws of life

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        A nightmare.

      • Strange Brew

        World’s largest black and white cookie?

  14. Drake

    The Judge just sent the jury home past a crowd of reporters.

    • The Other Kevin

      Were they treated to a Robert De Niro film festival?

      • bacon-magic

        Judge: go on home…see those reporters out there? they will have nothing but good things to say about you patriots when you convict.

    • bacon-magic

      Israel may be complicit in the Holocaust of Gaza!!!!!! – somebody not from Hamas

    • Shpip

      Derpy’s first day of school.

      “Now that I have your attention, who’d like to learn some analytic geometry?”

      • Derpetologist

        I like the version of that clip entitled: Rambo Files a Complaint To the IT Department

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5jR9uC1s0

        This is why NSA doesn’t want me around their computers anymore.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Been working. Has Trump been convicted yet by a jury of his peers?

    • Rat on a train

      The judge is doing his best. Don’t rush him.

  16. Rat on a train

    I’ve been getting weird advertisements on Roku. They are split screen with the advertisement on one side and baseball on the other but I’m not watching baseball. Sometimes it goes to the game for a few seconds before showing a second ad. I wonder if the people watching baseball are getting my ads. I hope they enjoy the campaign ads.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’ve seen it for a couple of weeks. I think it’s a way to try to get increased engagement and decrease channel flipping.

    • Ted S.

      It’s a technique to try to get people to pay closer attention, I think. Some live sporting events like auto racing that don’t have natural ad breaks use a similar idea for ads. If you pay closer attention to the sports, you’ll notice it’s not actually live sports.

      It’s been going on for several months at least.

    • Fourscore

      “I moved here to get away from the city and everything. I didn’t expect to be so isolated”

    • rhywun

      Is there some sort of wall keeping them in…?

  17. Shpip

    Outright, prolonged laughter

    Edwina and David Nylan, from Fleetwood, Lancs, claim they missed out on the life-changing lottery windfall because they didn’t have enough money in their lotto account when they bought their ticket.

    Weird, I know. People who regularly play the lottery are usually diligent with their personal finance.

    • Fourscore

      “By the time I buy cigarettes and beer there’s not enough money for lottery tickets. Lottery tickets should be discounted for poor people”

    • The Other Kevin

      Now the Church will have nun of that.

      • EvilSheldon

        I guess the monastery was nun the wiser?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I may be nave, but I thought the church was against such indulgences.

      • Shpip

        He can’t afford the transition surgery, so for now he’s just Friar Tuck.

      • R.J.

        *Golf Clap

      • Bobarian LMD

        Somebody needs to whipple that boy into shape!

  18. The Late P Brooks

    There has to be an economic or regulatory reason nobody started a fuel/mart here.

    Is IGA still around? Weren’t they a species of co-op to improve buying power for small grocers?

    I realize it’s undemocratic to think a grocery chain buying buying crackers by the trainload is going to get a better price than the guy on he corner buying them a dozen boxes at a time.

    • Sensei

      It’s a town of 10k people with limited sources of anything.

      Seems like the perfect place for junk food and overpriced gas.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    This story has legs

    There is something irrefutably broken about a global system in which a small number of people are able to amass staggering amounts of wealth, a huge number struggle to simply survive (and many don’t) and then we applaud those among the uber-wealthy who bestow some of their largess on the suffering masses.

    But this is the global system we do have and, within it, some billionaires are behaving much more generously and ethically than others. And their work should stand in contrast to those who simply accrue more toys or watch their net worth go infinitely up.

    Melinda French Gates is one of the good ones. This week, as she explained why she resigned from the Gates Foundation, which she co-founded two decades ago, she said she’ll be focusing the next stage of her philanthropy on women’s and girls’ rights, including in the United States.

    Easy come, easy go. That’s quite a philosophy.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I’m going to trust that the article mentions her husband diddling kids on Epstein’s island as part of the explanation for why she left the foundation.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        So, are you saying that she is paying for indulgences?

    • rhywun

      “One of the good ones” means pissing away your fortune on sexist (and likely racist, if her comments I read yesterday are any indication) platitudes.

      This. Is. CNN.

  20. Derpetologist

    Remember all the guffawing because the Russians have been using golf carts in Ukraine? Yeah, it turns out the reason is that such vehicles can travel safely over anti-tank minefields. That was discovered during the Toyota War.

    ***
    In 1987, Chadian troops equipped with technicals drove the heavily mechanized Libyan army from the Aozou Strip. The vehicles were instrumental in the victory at the Battle of Fada, and were driven over 150 km (93 mi) into Libya to raid military bases. It was discovered that these light vehicles could ride through anti-tank minefields without detonating the mines when driven at speeds over 100 km/h. The vehicles had become so famous that, in 1984, Time dubbed early stages of the conflict the “Great Toyota War”.[12]
    ***

    ***
    Observers estimated that, in the Chadian victories in the first three months of 1987, more than 3,000 Libyan soldiers had been killed, captured, or deserted. Large numbers of tanks, armoured personnel carriers, artillery, fixed-wing aircraft, and helicopters were captured or destroyed. In some cases, Libya sent its own aircraft to bomb abandoned Libyan equipment to deny its use to the Chadians.[29][30] It was reported that, in many cases, Libyan soldiers had been killed while fleeing to avoid battle. At Ouadi Doum, panicked Libyans had suffered high casualties running through their own minefields.[31]
    ***

    But hey, let’s keep fretting about how to train more Ukrainian F-16 pilots. My god, our leaders are nitwits.

    • Compelled Speechless

      They’re genius strategists! Watch as we deplete Russian proto-Hitler’s economy dry……by slowly letting him win. Pay no attention to the endless money canon being fired by our side!

      • Derpetologist

        The best way for the Ukes to win is destroying Russian oil refineries, but Biden won’t allow that because it’d drive up gas prices in an election year. Global supply and demand? What the fuck is that shit?

        ***
        Former U.S. President Barack Obama once said of U.S. President Joe Biden, “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to fuck things up.”
        ***

  21. The Late P Brooks

    And some billionaires are using their largess for what many would argue is bad. A number of ultra-wealthy people are donating to former President Donald Trump’s campaign, for instance.

    Adding insult to injury.

    Oh, woe! Oh, perfidy!

  22. Evan from Evansville

    First, and possibly only, contract with Data Recognition Corporation (DRC!) is completed. I evaluated a hair over 4k fourth grade essays for Missouri’s state test. About 15 of us had 77k to go over, and we started this project on April 29, a day after my 37th bday.

    Pretty good present to myself! Gotta see what’s up next, as I doubt I’ll get another contract w these folk. Pretty, preeetty, preeeeeetty good.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    ….if he gives the money to organizations that are meeting crucial needs — that’s a win. And it’s part of what the Giving Pledge seems structured to do: push the rich to give not just out of the good of their own hearts, but for the public recognition when they do (and the side-eye when they don’t).

    What’s the point of doing good deeds if your moral betters are not allowed the opportunity to gain stature by ostentatiously validating them?

    • R.J.

      Ha! Beat you to it by one post cycle. Winning!

      • Derpetologist

        Great minds think alike.

      • R.J.

        Sorry to have celebrated my win so hard.
        That was crappy of me.

      • R.J.

        Pun chain fail!

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        You two are both flush with ideas!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Is you is or is you ain’t my constitchency?

    The Democratic president also argued that an “unhinged” Trump is peddling misinformation in an effort to win back the White House.

    “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place of anger, resentment and hate,” Biden said, calling on the crowd to help him and Harris win a second term. “My question is a simple one: Are you with me?”

    At Girard College, which has a predominantly Black student body, Biden warned about the threat he said a second Trump presidency would pose and cited some of the racial controversies fanned by the presumptive Republican nominee during his life.

    “This is the same guy who wanted to tear gas you as you peacefully protested George Floyd’s murder. The same guy who still calls the Central Park Five guilty, even though they were exonerated,” Biden told the crowd. “He’s that landlord who denies housing applications because of the color of your skin.”

    Says the guy utterly obsessed with skin color.

    • Sensei

      “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place of anger, resentment and hate,” Biden said

      Because that’s his job!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s the one who used to use lengths of chain to intimade black men at public pools. Poor old Corn Pop will never get a statue.

    • rhywun

      “He’s that landlord who denies housing applications because of the color of your skin.”

      OK then.

      • Sensei

        Before or after he chains them?

    • Sensei

      I agree with the comments. We need a full version.

      • Gender Traitor

        +1. That’s magnificent.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.
  25. LCDR_Fish

    Derpy – just saw your comments in morning links – maybe I missed earlier references…why not go for AF Reserve or FL Air NG? Lots of good options there- I still recommend Navy Reserve too (officer or enlisted).

    Currently trying to help a former enlisted buddy (who writes now) get a reserve officer PAO position (apparently a lot more openings now).

  26. R.J.

    Thinking back to the Tesla truck Halo warthog skin, I think it would make an excellent Moon Patrol truck too.

    • Sensei

      But it doesn’t jump!

      • R.J.

        It could crash in holes pretty good.

      • Sensei

        Musk does have spaceship part covered…

  27. Stinky Wizzleteats

    I’ve been bouncing around the YouTube lawtube checking on the Rekeita situation (I guess I’m just a gossip sometimes, sue me) and the main impression I’ve gotten from all of it is that Shakespeare was right. I have never seen a bunch of people so far up their own asses…between the grifting and the narcissism I don’t know how people can stand it.

  28. Common Tater

    Is there a way to get rid of the bar at the top? Between that and the massive spacing, I can only see about two comments without scrolling.

    • rhywun

      I do it with a browser extension (Stylus) and some custom CSS, something like this:

      @-moz-document domain(“glibertarians.com”) {
      /* Hide stuff */
      header {
      display: none !important;
      }
      }

      • Common Tater

        Thanks, although that looks a bit above my pay grade.