Monday Afternoon Absent Links

by | Jun 10, 2024 | Daily Links | 113 comments

Not actual the doc my Dad is seeing…

I am not here. I am with Dad at the neurologist for a follow up after his bit of a stroke he had a couple of months back. Lets just say he is not happy about this… I am receiving a paternal narrowed gaze or two.

But you paid for these links and will…hey, wait a minute. Oh, never mind…here are some links for your consideration.

What the heck, Columbus, Ohio?

Don’t forget this craptastic area of dispute.

You know who else delivered a blow to the rulers of France and Germany?

Music is on your own, and the comments are all yours.

About The Author

Swiss Servator

Swiss Servator

Currently serving at the pleasure of a Swiss multinational. Previously a Soldier, rugby player, lawyer, bouncer, bartender, substitute teacher, risk manager, and cubicle mushroom. Will work for raclette.

113 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    Masked porch pirate snatches package as stunned FedEx driver looks on seconds after delivery

    I was hoping it was a raccoon. 🦝

    • Timeloose

      GT my last post in the dead thread was meant to contrast the treatment of our last two presidents by the media. I realized it was miss threaded.

      • Gender Traitor

        Along those lines, I went looking for the latest and found NBC identifying Hunter as “President Joe Biden’s only surviving son.. ” [cue violins]

        🤮

    • EvilSheldon

      That would have been legitimately awesome.

  2. The Other Kevin

    “porch pirate”

    Sounds racist.

    • EvilSheldon

      And homophobic. Could be a slur for a butt pirate who doesn’t do anal…

      (An aside – how outdated is the term ‘butt pirate’? I think I remember it from fifth grade summer camp…)

      • Rat on a train

        The Butte Pirates are higher grades.

      • Spudalicious

        They’re definitely elevated.

    • juris imprudent

      Most pirates were white, so not really a problem.

      • UnCivilServant

        *ahem* Most Famous pirates were white. Piracy has been global and going on since the invention of the boat in the Paleolithic.

      • Fourscore

        Somalis hardest hit…

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        *stares in Barbary Corsair*

      • Spudalicious

        The Barbary Coast would like a word.

  3. Ted S.

    What the heck, Columbus, Ohio?

    Whatdo you expect from the home of Tosu?

    • Grummun

      Yesterday on the local news it was a BIG story that someone had stolen a pride flag off of someone’s house. In German Village, no less. Infamy! Apparently Columbus is now a festering cesspool of crime and depravity.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    You know who else delivered a blow to the rulers of France and Germany?

    Mata Hari?

    • The Other Kevin

      Trade winds?

    • slumbrew

      Any number of ladies at Davos?

    • Drake

      Pablo Escobar?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        You and your damnable speedy finger and thorough reading abilities.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Jeffrey Epstein?

    • Rat on a train

      The Seljuk Turks?

    • Aloysious

      The Gun?

      • Aloysious

        *Hun.

        godamit

    • bacon-magic

      Jeanne Becu?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Marie Antoinette?

  5. Shpip

    Armed militants over the weekend opened fire on a bus transporting Hindu pilgrims in the disputed Jammu and Kashmir region, killing at least eight people and injuring nearly three dozen others, officials and authorities said.

    Reasi police said the bus was transporting the Hindu pilgrims from the famous Shiv Khori cave shrines to Katra when the vehicle came under fire.

    “The driver was hit and lost control, resulting in the bus sliding into the nearby gorge,” Distric Police Reasi said in a statement.

    Wow. Sectarian violence mixed with an old-fashioned bus plunge story. Somebody crossed the streams.

    • The Other Kevin

      I saw Bus Plunge open for Mustard Plug. Great double bill.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I thought Palin’s Bus Plunge was a commenter at TOS.

      • Spudalicious

        Sure that wasn’t Palin’s Butt Plug? Cuz that’s how I first read it.

    • Sean

      That’s a wonderful avatar, Shpip.

  6. The Late P Brooks
    • Fourscore

      Diff’rent, anyway

    • slumbrew

      JFC, dude.

  7. Shpip

    dealing blows to leaders of France and Germany

    That’ll get you prison time here. You should always use a cutout — for instance, dealing blow to the President’s son, not the Big Guy himself.

  8. Fourscore

    Hope all went well with your Dad, Swissy. You know how old people are, never want any help or direction from others.

    • R.J.

      Agreed. May it all go smoothly.
      Now, since you aren’t here… May the puns commence!

      • Shpip
    • rhywun

      never want any help or direction from others

      Ah, that explains it.

      I’m getting old.

  9. juris imprudent

    I am receiving a paternal narrowed gaze or two.

    Eye wouldn’t want to be you.

    • mindyourbusiness

      Swiss is likely to give you lashes for that.

    • Gender Traitor

      Apparently the late fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent is involved, but I haven’t figured out how.

      • R.J.

        Lil’ Thug is probably selling counterfeit items. Also, how amusing to be at a trial where someone would be referred to as “Lil’ Thug!”

    • R.J.

      That is fantastic entertainment. If I had the money I would fly us both over to that so we could sit in the audience like Statler and Waldorf.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14njUwJUg1I

  10. juris imprudent

    A rightwards shift inside the European Parliament may make it tougher to pass new legislation that might be needed to respond to security challenges, the impact of climate change or industrial competition from China and the United States.

    The horror!

    • The Other Kevin

      These are the same people who say the reduction of a budget increase is a “drastic cut”.

    • slumbrew

      Quelle horreur!

      (For that continental flair)

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The peasants are starting to balk at the idea of dying as cannon fodder in the Ukraine which is a good thing. They’re not too happy with the immigration issues either I’d imagine.

  11. Shpip

    This latest article from VDH should be catnip to the Glibs.

    • Suthenboy

      VDH is more optimistic than I am.

    • rhywun

      Biden and his supporters are no longer blaming or firing the police

      They certainly are (still) in many localities. I am guessing those which haven’t learned by hard experience yet.

  12. OBJ FRANKELSON

    You know who else delivered a blow to the rulers of France and Germany?

    Ceasar Augustus?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Julius Ceasar would work as well.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Yeah I missed the main thread. I will recite three ‘Hail Rothbards’ and a ‘Our Mises’ in penance.

    • Timeloose

      Chappelle as a crack head president?

    • Suthenboy

      Virginia Hall?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Hard right takeover!!!!!!

    It’s like Mitt Romney getting elected governor of Massachusetts, or something.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      To be fair, compared to most of the European ‘right’ Mittens looks like the second coming of Edmund Burke.

      • The Last American Hero

        This is why I despise the press. Words no longer have meaning, so when they say far right I don’t know if they are talking about people just right of center, classical liberals, anarcho capitalists, or the 4th Reich.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        It’s like how when they say sexual assault you don’t know if it means an awkward attempt at a kiss at the end of a date, a slap on the ass or actual rape.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Eh, as far as politics goes, Left v. Right is relative. These politicians could be well to the left of, say, Pinochet, but as far as Europe goes, they are right wing. Especially as the Left/Right divide simply refers to the aisles of the French 18th century parliament.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I have mostly abandoned Right/Left terminology. Most political positions can be described on conservative/progressive and libertarian/authoritarian axes.

      • Suthenboy

        Jamie: From various wings of the lunatics NOT dating a trannie or finding them unattractive is sexual assault or harassment, or something bad.
        At some point long past there is no longer any point in paying any attention to them.

      • The Last American Hero

        Yes, but I’d think it’s important to understand if Europe is responding to Brussels by electing someone like Obama, someone like Thatcher or someone like Hitler. All would be FarRight by Eurotrash standards but I don’t know whether to yawn, cheer, or wonder if they lost their minds.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    From the stuff nobody but me cares about file

    If you have some money burning a hole in your pocket, there might be a solution to your problem in Rosamond, California. For those not intimately familiar with Southern California geography, legendary Willow Springs International Raceway is up for grabs. Founded in 1953, the racetrack is back on the open market.

    ——-

    There’s another wrinkle: a prospective buyer. Popular YouTube personality and racing enthusiast Emelia Hartford uploaded a video to her channel saying she’s in talks with her real estate agent and the folks representing Willow Springs. In her video, Hartford says “I’m going to do everything in my power to buy Willow Springs.” It doesn’t get clearer than that.

    A popular YouTube creator buying a racetrack wouldn’t be the most absurd path to the track’s long-term success. Another YouTube creator Garret Mitchell, who goes by Cleetus McFarland, purchased a racetrack compound in Bradenton, Florida, and turned it into a successful endeavor.

    Regardless of who buys Willow Springs, hopefully, it sticks around for years to come as a place for enthusiasts, racers, and automakers to throw down their best laps.

    She can’t be probably isn’t as dumb in real life as she is on youtube, but she’s no Cleetus.

    • The Last American Hero

      She thinks that California isn’t going to ban whatever she thinks they’re going to drive on that track. There a reason Cletus bought the track in Florida.

      • Don escaped Texas

        successful endeavor

        a quarter-mile drag in civilization is quite a different animal from a road-course in the desert

    • slumbrew

      ” we can all assume it’s going to be on the more expensive side of the real estate world, there isn’t an official price. That said, it is expected to trade hands for over $2 million.”

      $2 million won’t get you a 3 bedroom house in LA or SF.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I have mostly abandoned Right/Left terminology. Most political positions can be described on conservative/progressive and libertarian/authoritarian axes.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Dammit.

        New buttons frighten and confuse me.

      • Suthenboy

        collectivist / individualist is what I have come down to.

    • PutridMeat

      I’ll IgG4 leave this here.

      Drip, drip Dr. Fauci, drip, drip. Your web of lies may be falling apart. Hopefully – or hopefully – institutions like the Royal Society won’t be dragged down with you.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        The Royal Society is like the Lancet; they are already so deeply dead as to make Pie recoil in horror.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just more confirmation that the Anglosphere is fucked.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Dr Mengele unavailable for posthumous honors?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    If I had to guess, I’d say Squeeemelia thinks she is capable of turning Willow into another Thermal Club. Who knows? Weirder things have happened.

    • Shpip

      Could be. Most of the private driver clubs that I’m familiar with (Atlanta Motorsports Park, the brand-new Motor Enclave near Tampa, and especially The Concours Club in Miami) have a decent airport nearby, and can get the driver to decent restaurants when the day’s festivities are concluded. I’m not sure Willow Springs could do either — though I don’t know L.A. very well at all, so I’m probably wrong.

      The Miami place seems to have its shit together. Their model is to have some rich dude fly in to the airport next door, he tools around in his Hennessy all day, you send him to Prime 112 or some such place, he parties with the Eurotrash on South Beach, and the next day he jets back to Teterboro or Chicago or wherever. Fun, if you can afford it.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I say “she” meaning her financial backers. I’m sure California offers special treatment to companies with a female sockpuppet.

  17. Sean

    I saw a Cyber Truck in the wild on my way home. UGLY.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yup! I did a double take the first several times I saw one.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    $2 million won’t get you a 3 bedroom house in LA or SF.

    I’ve been there. Willow is out in the middle of fucking nowhere.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      600 acres is big enough for Glibertopia. I’ll chip in twenty bucks if y’all are game.

    • slumbrew

      I was thinking more that $2m for 600 acres doesn’t really seem to be on “the expensive side” anywhere in CA.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Come on – “Edison medicine”

  19. Gustave Lytton

    The best part of the bull jumping the arena fence was Lee Greenwood’s crap playing on the loudspeaker and at exactly the right moment.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I was thinking more that $2m for 600 acres doesn’t really seem to be on “the expensive side” anywhere in CA.

    You’re right, 2 million does sound amazingly cheap. I can’t help wondering what sort of encumbrances there are. Maybe it’s on federal land and all you’re getting is buildings and fixtures and a right to lease. It’s adjacent to Edwards AFB, as I recall.

  21. Evan from Evansville

    I am officially signed up for phlebotomy training from July 8-25. This feels like a daring Korea move, yet I never found a reason, nor person, to talk me out of it. This is a profoundly positive development. I’m very pleased.

    West Virginia trip w the family in a few weeks, and in the meantime…looks like I’ve got two weeks to get sorted, learn more, and also have a bit of chill or…whatever time. Fantasy World I’d teleport to Saint Cloud, MN and see my friend+ I’m making new ends with. She also will much approve of this development.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      +1 Pie rival!

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Watch the teeth though. Yes, I’m still talking about phlebotomy.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Ho-Lee. Shit.

        I never thought about it. You’re totally correct. All day I was thinking of being Blood Man or Ev-IV, or something purposefully silly for a jokey nickname for my (still unachieved) future ‘career.’ This needs to be exploited in a vampirish fashion for my own entertainment, though Pie is too Inside Shop for Others to smirk at.

    • Tres Cool

      Get a name tag that says Dr. Acula

      • Suthenboy

        Comment of the day right there.

  22. Rebel Scum

    So a “far-right” surge in Germany and Austria. And Milfolini made gains. I guess the boys (and lady) are getting the band back together.

  23. Rebel Scum

    “Masked porch pirate snatches package”

    That’s a mighty fine way to grab the booty, matey.

  24. Rebel Scum

    “Armed militants over the weekend opened fire on a bus transporting Hindu pilgrims in the disputed Jammu and Kashmir region, killing at least eight people and injuring nearly three dozen others, officials and authorities said.”

    This will not curry favor.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      What would vindaloo?

    • Shpip

      Swiss might not be around, but we still shouldn’t Goa there.

    • Tres Cool

      There was an indian chef that refused to make traditional dishes.
      He was a naan-conformist.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      That joke is gonna Bombay.

    • Shpip

      I went to a website that promised I could learn how to make hors d’oeuvres from the subcontinent, but all the girls wanted to talk about was how they would practice the entire Kama Sutra on me if I’d sponsor them for a green card.

      Worst. Chaat. Room. Ever.

    • R.J.

      OMWC won’t go to India.
      Why? Because there are no Delhis.