Inflatable Passengers

by | Jul 6, 2024 | Beer, Food & Drink | 74 comments

Once upon a time I was called to the desk at the airport and was informed the flight I booked a month prior for me and my kids (both under 3) was overbooked. I had absolutely no choice to do what I did. I never done it previously nor have I done this since…

This is my review of Karl Strauss Red Trolley Ale:

What did I do, complain? No, I handed the nice lady at the gate my credit card and upgraded to first class. Like I was going to miss that flight. I gave my daughter some cough syrup and handed my son his Leapfrog for the duration of the flight to Denver. Randos complimented my ability to keep my shit together kids reasonably quiet but even if they didn’t I didn’t care. I had to drank 3-4 Heinekens on the flight. Gotta get my $200 worth for the upgrade, right?

Turns out my polity makes me a bit of a rarity:

A Texas woman traveling with her 16-month-old son and mother claims she was kicked off her flight home Wednesday after she accidentally misgendered a flight attendant.

Jenna Longoria, a women’s health and hormone expert from outside Austin, was boarding her flight around 9 a.m. at San Francisco International Airport when she said she slipped up and addressed the United crew member by the wrong pronoun multiple times, she told The Post. 

“When [the flight attendant], who identifies as a woman, gave me our boarding passes, I said, ‘Thank you, sir.’ That is it. That is it,” Longoria, still confused over the incident, told The Post on Wednesday night.

“She got upset. I walked to the plane to go down the aisle. Then she held my mother back and wouldn’t let her come with me [past the gate],” she said.

There are several things I take offense to here before we even get to the pronoun thing.

1) This person working for the airline is not a flight attendant. This PC term has poisoned the well for airline travel for decades. This person is a goddamn STEWARDESS. Perhaps I am too hasty correlating the decline in passengers acting like proper adults to the adoption of this PC term, but I ask you to prove me wrong. Seriously, you don’t see this behavior in foreign airlines that have age limits to their flight crew and only hire women.

2) The New York Post buried the lede here. This lady admitted on Instagram, where she chronicled this entire episode, this all began over over a disagreement to the number of carry on items she took on the plane. While I too remember the days where I could carry on a duffel bag filling up the entire overhead bin, this isn’t the most awful thing airlines do. There’s limited space, and if they were truly assholes they would charge by both luggage AND passenger weight.

3) Traveling with a child does not make you special. Chances are you are a terrible parent and you an asshole traveling amongst other passengers.

4) Thank the SoCons for getting the Patriot Act passed. This practically give the airlines carte blanche in treating you with the exact level of respect you give them. If the thyroid medicine is so sacred, take it out of your luggage and let them check your goddamn bag. Otherwise, your union-employed flight crew will strand you in San Francisco and still fly your luggage to Austin.

…wait this was a SF-Austin route? What did you expect? You’re knowingly got on a plane full of retards and you want to complain they’re retarded. Sorry, as much as I want to blame the stewardess here, the passenger appears to be the asshole.

Remember when Killian’s Irish Red was the absolute shit? I admit I haven’t seen it in a long time, and I don’t recall seeing it anywhere in Ireland but I was at a point in my life where I was just going to be happy drinking a ton of Guinness and enjoy the rain. This is pretty much Killian’s Irish Red. Why did they decide to make a trolley reference? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe there was a problem choosing between one of two equally bad batches and this is the one they went with. “Oh, its a red? We’ll call it Red Trolley. Problem solved, marketing guys.” Karl Strauss Red Trolley Ale: 2.9/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

74 Comments

  1. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Killian’s was what we drank in college to be fancy.

    • Nephilium

      I just looked it up. Apparently Killian’s is still being produced. I don’t recall seeing it on the shelf, but then I’m usually not looking at the BMC (Bud/Miller/Coors) wall.

      • UnCivilServant

        I last saw it when I last made beer bread.

        I do not recommend it for that purpose.

  2. Common Tater

    “Remember when Killian’s Irish Red was the absolute shit? ”

    It was OK. What I remember was Pete’s Wicked Ale becoming a huge deal, then turning into shit.

    • Sean

      #metoo

      • DEG

        #methree

  3. rhywun

    I’m lost. Was she kicked off for wrongthink or not?

    • PieInTheSky

      everyone sucks?

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      I can’t even discern exactly what happened, but I guess so.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    if they were truly assholes they would charge by both luggage AND passenger weight.

    Each passenger must get on a big scale with a giant dial easily readable by the other passengers. Betting will be permitted, if not encouraged.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Jenna Longoria, a women’s health and hormone expert from outside Austin

    It’s hard to imagine a less sympathetic principal.

  6. DEG

    …wait this was a SF-Austin route? What did you expect? You’re knowingly got on a plane full of retards and you want to complain they’re retarded. Sorry, as much as I want to blame the stewardess here, the passenger appears to be the asshole.

    I hate everyone.

  7. juris imprudent

    I don’t recall if Karl Strauss was a real microbrew or a faux-local brand, but I do recall drinking it when I lived in San Diego.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      QED?

      Testing.

      Hang it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Quod erit demonstrandum.

  8. Toxteth O'Grady

    San Diego is everyone’s ex-girlfriend.

    • dbleagle

      What? I thought it meant whale’s vagina.

      • dbleagle

        That was OUTSTANDING!

      • DEG

        That is great. I’m taxing it.

    • juris imprudent

      As opposed to Canadian girlfriends? And Morgan Fairchild.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Recitation of the catechism

    At this rate, Biden is likely headed for a landslide defeat to a lawless and unpopular former president.

    But when Stephanopoulos confronted him with poll numbers showing him trailing and a job approval rating lower than any president who has ever won re-election, Biden would have none of it.

    “I don’t … I don’t buy that. I don’t think anybody’s more qualified to be president or win this race than me,” he said.

    Stick to the script, come Hell or high water, Gramps.

    • DrOtto

      Every story I read on the subject seems to have Gruesome Newsome shoehorned somewhere in it sticking up for Biden. He sure is lucky to have such a good friend.

    • Chafed

      I’d be impressed if he remembered the script.

  10. Toxteth O'Grady

    Meant as gentle but direct reply to you, JI.

    Am more concerned about the site’s wonkiness now. Replies not landing right.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    The stakes are as great as Biden describes. And if he believes it, as I think he does, he will eventually do what duty and love of country requires, and step aside.

    If he does not, it will be Biden’s age, and not Trump’s moral and ethical void, that will dominate the rest of this most important campaign and sully the president’s historic legacy.

    I’m so fucking tired of this vapid scary campfire story routine.

    OMG Trump is going to jump out from behind that tree and bite off your head!

    • dbleagle

      I am not looking forward to OMB 2.0 since I don’t think he’ll be more effective than the first release was and he wants to be a Clinton 90’s Dem.

      But I am looking forward to the American people telling biden this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7SNEdjftno

      “Hey Joe I don’t need 37 genders so I am expressing myself!”

      • rhywun

        I’ll take a rehash of the 90s over whatever the fuck dystopia we’re in now.

      • Ted S.

        You really want this again?

    • Raven Nation

      “he will eventually do what duty and love of country requires,”

      If he does, it’ll be the first time in his life.

      But, if you’re on Team Blue, you probably think this. As I’ve recounted here before, one day at the gym, two NPR types were talking politics and one of them, quite sincerely, repeated something she’d heard/read somewhere, “Joe Biden is a decent man who’s spent his career trying to do what was right for the American people.”

      As Tundra hilariously responded to my post: “Did you punch them? Because, if you did, it would not be a violation of the NAP.”

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Most lawless and unpopular politician in history beats your candidate. What do you do?

    • PieInTheSky

      fortify?

  13. PieInTheSky

    When I fly around old Europa there are often issues with luggage, especially bags for which the body of he bag is regulation size but the wheels stick out and they don’t fit as they should. Small bags go under seats in front. The first row on ryanair does not have anything in front and all bags need to be put overhead. there are always arguments from people who want to keep their bags, which is not allowed by regulation. there are also people who think they are entitled to space exactly above their seat overhead which is not the case.

    • Suthenboy

      Simple solution. Overhead bins are standard sizes and shapes. Bag manufacturers make bags specifically to fit those bins.

      • PieInTheSky

        yes but many do not buy those bags and cause a scandal if the airline refuses to accept too big bags

  14. PieInTheSky

    overbooked – this should be considered fraud and someone should go to jail whenever that happens.

  15. PieInTheSky

    if they were truly assholes they would charge by both luggage AND passenger weight. – i remember small planes in Samoa wanted to know passenger weight for seat allocation for weight distribution purposes.

  16. Mojeaux

    Okay, people. 1520 Main is scheduled out all the way to the end.

    • PieInTheSky

      the end of the universe? the gnab gib?

      • Mojeaux

        The end of the book, silly. Of course I don’t have power over the universe.

        Or do I?

      • DEG

        I hear the restaurant there is expensive.

      • PieInTheSky

        but you do get to meet the meat

      • Mojeaux

        42

      • dbleagle

        In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

      • Fourscore

        “There are no imaginary friends.”

        Almost all my friends are imaginary, if Glibs are included then all are imaginary.

        Does this mean, Moj, that soon we’ll be breaking up? It’s going to be hard to do.

        Friday night dates soon to be over. Woe is me

      • Mojeaux

        4×20, I don’t see my internet friends as imaginary. They’re just at the other end of the phone line.

    • Grummun

      Act 3: Shit Gets Real

      Trey gets shanked in an alley behind the speak, and Marina straps Button to her back and kicks down Lazio’s down with twin Tommy guns ‘blazin.

      • Grummun

        … Lazio’s door down …

      • Mojeaux

        Well, I mean … it’s not far off.

    • Sean

      Yay!

  17. PieInTheSky

    Also I had my first dram of Infrequent Flyers whisky in Elgin.

    • Not Adahn

      Good sausage in Elgin.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    More bedwetting

    “This is not a decision I’ve come to lightly, but there is simply too much at stake to risk a second Donald Trump presidency,” Craig said in a statement on Saturday morning. “That’s why I respectfully call on President Biden to step aside as the Democratic nominee for a second term as President and allow for a new generation of leaders to step forward.”

    Please please please kill yourself if Trump wins.

    • juris imprudent

      Preferably by lighting self on fire in public.

  19. Evan from Evansville

    I’ve long known my parents gave me *cough* extra cough syrup to chill me out for flights, long drives, or…other times it was necessary. (Other OC drugs were also involved.)

    I’ve really never had any troubles with airports. Well, one goofy-as-fuck one in Laos and a lovely overnight delay in Russia. I despise being rude (or people thinking *I’m* being rude), but nothing comes to mind. I find airports to be a fun place to explore and relax. MASSIVE NOTE: I don’t have children. For those that travel with kids, which I have done on long car trips (though I ain’t their papa), I trust your parenting brings out the best in your progeny when traveling.

    • Tres Cool

      I used to refer to benadryl as “the $7 baby sitter”.

    • Tres Cool

      Ralph Nader types collectively masturbate furiously.

  20. R C Dean

    “This person is a goddamn STEWARDESS.”

    The “identifies as a woman” “flight attendant” is not a stewardess because he is not a woman

    • Evan from Evansville

      I’m in solid Red Indiana. The egregious lawfare to keep a political rival out of power is far too egregious to let stand.

      I’m making a point to vote Trump. My family is True Blue. I haven’t decided if I’ll tell them. They certainly know my beliefs, as I pointedly insert them when I find I can gain headway. The most I ever get is “That’s a good point, but…” to segue back to the Holocaust Trump will somehow bring.

      I predict a landslide Trump victory. It will be mighty interesting.

  21. J. Frank Parnell

    I used to drink Killians all the time 30 years ago because around Table Pizza had it for $5/pitcher.

    It’s called Red Trolley because downtown San Diego has trolleys that are red.

    The number of carry-on items thing is weird, since it’s the quantity of bags, not the size. Suitcase plus a big backpacks stuffed full of stuff? Fine. Fanny pack, small tote bag, and a shopping bag from the airport convenience store? Shove a bag into another bag or no plane for you.

    • Tres Cool

      If Im going someplace for more than a week, specially if Im taking my tools, Ill FedEx that and get on the plane with just the necessities for a day or so.

    • R C Dean

      I don’t fly often, but the last time I flew they were stopping the suitcases and the big backpacks stuffed full of stuff and making people check them.

    • Fourscore

      Wear your mask to be doubly extra safe JR

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Helmet, mask, and condom. I can never be too safe.

    • Tres Cool

      Like a dutch rudder?

  22. Shpip

    Is that uranium in your horn, or are you just happy to see me?

    South African scientists on Tuesday injected radioactive material into live rhino horns to make them easier to detect at border posts in a pioneering project aimed at curbing poaching.

    The country is home to a large majority of the world’s rhinos and as such is a hot spot for poaching driven by demand from Asia, where horns are used in traditional medicine for their supposed therapeutic effect.

    Twenty years ago I thought that the invention of Viagra would do more to protect rhinos than any anti-poaching efforts. Apparently, I was very wrong.

  23. Chafed

    “Why did they decide to make a trolley reference? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” Because Karl Strauss is a San Diego brewery so they latched on to something red that’s widely known in the area to name this mediocre beer.