¡Martes por la tarde, enalces mexicanos!

by | Jul 23, 2024 | Daily Links | 185 comments

My kids suddenly have social lives again. So I am once again juggling work and coordinating a ride to whatever nonsense they have planned. I’d count down the 6 months to go before my oldest chauffeurs everyone around, except he backed into the space between the side of my house and the brick wall to my neighbor’s property and nearly ran into the wall. So at least he reacts quickly enough to stop when told but only my bumper was scratched up.

That bumper was rear ended and replaced three times in 190k miles so it being jacked up isn’t anything new. Yes, I drive like a Mexican ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

¡enlaces!

***As of 1100 server time when ¡enlaces! was written…the President is not officially dead. I’m not updating ¡enlaces! for that guy.***

Triple strand razor wire” sounds like a defense industry buzzword they say to politicians to justify the greater expense for what used to cost half what they charged last year.

Record amount of sewage from Mexico flows into California. What you thought I meant people? You are a one twisted SOB, you know that?

Another caravan?

Anyways, yes another caravan approaches. Maybe it will work out this time.

Sounds like a small pool for graft, but I suppose Haiti doesn’t call for a large pool.

Surprising this doesn’t happen very often.

Things are getting spicy in Venezuela. Even Brazilian President Lula, a fellow communist, was aghast Maduro used the term “bloodbath”.

Here are some tunes, have a great Tuesday? Maybe? Well, at least try.

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

185 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    That bumper was rear ended and replaced three times in 190k miles so it being jacked up isn’t anything new. Yes, I drive like a Mexican ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Mexicans don’t stop for yellow lights. They barely stop for red ones.

    *6 months working in Albuquerque

    • SDF-7

      Sounds like people in Atlanta. (Last time I drove there I literally needed to wait 3-5 seconds because the inevitable red light runners would barrel through).

      • mexican sharpshooter

        …or Denver, Phoenix, San Antonio, Dallas etc.

  2. bacon-magic

    Low rider? *

    Yes, I drive like a Mexican ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • Nephilium

      Low rider you say?

      • Timeloose

        That was the one I was thinking of.

        It’s one of those songs that always sounds inferior if covered.

      • Tonio

        Awesome.

  3. SDF-7

    What you thought I meant people?

    Actually I was too busy being surprised the homeless camps in LA and San Diego haven’t reversed the polarity of the poo-tron flow (as it were).

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Sounds like a Chicago Sanitary and Ship Canal is in order.

    • SDF-7

      If it really is AI we should be able to set a personalized version of the avatar giving the speech. That would be… interesting. (Some would go President Camacho, I’m sure… others would be more… risque…. if we could, I think a sizable portion of us would go Dark Cracky.)

      • R C Dean

        In keeping with the theme, is Mexican weathergirl an option?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        In keeping with the theme, is Mexican weathergirl an option?

        Mexican weather girl

    • Rat on a train

      If he’s coherent, it’s AI.

      • Bobarian LMD

        If he’s incoherent, it’s well trained AI.

    • Sean

      I can’t wait to get yelled at by a dementia patient.

      🙄

  4. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Maduro used the term “bloodbath”.

    As there is socialism in the mix, odds are this is not a figurative turn of phrase.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m sure it must be Trump’s fault, somehow.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Maduro has governed Venezuela since 2013, taking over after the death of predecessor and mentor Hugo Chávez. The 61-year-old has won elections that his adversaries deemed not to be free and fair. His 2018 reelection was widely considered a sham, as major opposition parties and candidates were banned from participating.

    More or less legitimate than ours in 2020?

    • SDF-7

      Less. We allow opposition to participate — we just make their participation irrelevant through fortification. Yay.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    (Last time I drove there I literally needed to wait 3-5 seconds because the inevitable red light runners would barrel through).

    When I went down there that was one of the first things the other guys told me: Don’t be in a big rush to lurch into that intersection just because the light turned green.

    • Fourscore

      A person has to learn a lot(quickly) to live in Madrid.

      • rhywun

        In China the traffic signals do not even rise to the level of “suggestion”. That was fun.

  7. SDF-7

    Here are some tunes

    Being more metal — I would have expected Mecha-Gojira.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Somebody mad that joke last time I played one of their songs.

      • SDF-7

        Sorry. I’ll try to keep the humor more fresh next time.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Nah. There are currently 73 active inside jokes within the comments section.

      • Bobarian LMD

        All I heard was something about Mexican Buttsex.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Are you sure you’re not having an acid flashback about that trip to Tijuana you swore you’d never tell your wife about?

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Kammienomics

    Harris has taken aim at the gender pay gap with a plan to eliminate discriminatory pay practices and penalize companies that don’t comply.

    Under a plan she unveiled in 2019, companies with 100 or more employees would be required to report pay and total compensation for men and women, as well as the percentage of women in leadership positions to obtain an “Equal Pay Certification.” Businesses without that certification would be fined at 1% of their average daily profits during the last fiscal year.

    That should unleash innovation.

    • kinnath

      By executive order no doubt.

    • SDF-7

      Hmm… sounds like various California policies that I think were found unconstitutional. Not that that would stop her if she gets the chance (as kinnath says… pen and phone, Constitution and Courts be damned… there’s precedent now!)

      • R.J.

        Remember she promised to stack the Supreme court during a debate.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Women or “women”? I’m not a biologist.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      That should unleash innovation.

      Compensation packages for high performers is going to be insane.

    • rhywun

      Oh great, real communism this time.

    • Urthona

      First poll shows her up over Trump.

      Work cut out.

      • kinnath

        National polls mean nothing. She’ll rack up 10 million excess votes in California and New York just like Clinton did.

        The polls for the half dozen swing states are the ones that matter. The last two released showed Trump ahead.

      • Urthona

        I mean they mean *something* because Trump was just leading all of them except this one where he was tied.

        So I estimate maybe a 2% excitement bump.

      • R C Dean

        Nothing drags Kamala down like people seeing Kamala in action. I remain optimistic that Trump will get more votes where it matters.

        Ballots, now that’s a different question.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Isn’t that one weighted +70 democrats with a large independent vote that included Kennedy in the equation?

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Kamala gets the “new guy” bump, as they always do. Also, she is up in one poll, Ipsos, and down in another, NPR.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Cause more regulation will solve this!

    • creech

      Let’s see – a company making $10,000,000 per year is making about $28,000 per day so would pay 1% or $2,800, for “discriminating” against female employees. Sounds like a better deal that raising the ladies’ pay. Better deal would be firing all the men and just hiring women!

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Especially as it would gain them 28% in payroll!

  9. Tonio

    Sighted in the supermarket parking lot today a guy wearing a Thomas Sowell t-shirt.

    • Tundra
      • bacon-magic

        Oooooh I like that one.

      • Timeloose

        You bet your last money, it’s going to be a gas honey!

      • Nephilium

        The one I liked (and would consider picking up) was a t-shirt with the OBEY style logo on the front, but it was Sowell’s face, and name printed below it. I commended the guy on his shirt, and we chatted a bit.

      • trshmnstr

        I’m too white to wear that one, but I have seen some other ones out there that I could pull off.

  10. SDF-7

    Anyways, yes another caravan approaches.

    Can’t blame them for trying to get in just in case before Inauguration Day. (But no… the Biden/Harris policies aren’t driving increased illegal immigration! Of course not, you deplorable!… Still would be nice to come down hard on the NGOs the Fed is funneling money through to bring these people here, move them around the country, etc as well as the Federal officials violating their oaths of office… [and a starship… wishing again…])

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Women earn just 84 cents for every dollar earned by men, according to an analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data by the National Women’s Law Center, although the pay gap worsens significantly for Black and Latina women.

    The evidence is indisputable.

    • Fourscore

      So they get the same pay but women only “earn” 84% as much?

      • Rat on a train

        It’s because men take solo restroom breaks. Those add up.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought they got charged a pink tax on their W-2s.

    • kinnath

      Insert Jonathon Pie Wage Gap youtube video.

      Again, the corporate firewall is block even innocuous videos from view.

      • SDF-7

        Hell, you could probably dig up a shoeonehead video on the subject. There’s only like 30000+ debunkings of that crap on the ‘Net, I think.

      • kinnath

        Yes, but the Pie video is actually quite funny.

    • The Other Kevin

      This is going to be just as successful as the minimum wage hike in CA.

  12. Tundra

    Pissed off whale.

    Payback for the wind farms, you think?

    • Fourscore

      Hope the kid was going back to rescue the survivors as opposed to just hauling ass out of the area.

    • SDF-7

      That level of whale ire isn’t common as I understand it — seems some sort of fluke.

      And the kid looked seriously spooked, my bet is on “hauling ass” I’m afraid.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Every boat for themselves! I’ll call the coast guard when I dock.”

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        If my boat got swamped like that, I’d have to do a lot of baleen.

      • SDF-7

        That sounds about Right — certainly nothing to blubber about.

      • Urthona

        Whale Ire is the name of my punk rock band.

      • bacon-magic

        They call him Ishmael.

      • The Other Kevin

        Hope the guy in the boat didn’t get krilled.

      • Aloysious

        I wonder if that whale is from Wales.

      • juris imprudent

        Things got a little nar-ly for a whal.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Not on my bingo card, shit!

    • Shpip

      These days, humans and whales have an implicit contract to protect each other, which the whale certainly breached.

      He’s going to receive a cetacean from the authorities for that.

      • Mojeaux the Lazy Yenta

        Shpip’s punnage notwithstanding, technically, an orca is a dolphin.

        Which fact I like pointing out because I think that’s neat.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That was a right whale, so technically a Whale,

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Morning Joke is outraged

    MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough is slamming Republicans for attacking Vice President Harris as a “DEI candidate” now that she has become the likely Democratic presidential nominee with President Biden’s exit from the race.

    DEI stands for diversity, equity and inclusion, and is used as a shorthand for initiatives meant to increase diversity in employment and other areas.

    “You’ve got Republicans being just total idiots, attacking her as being a ‘DEI candidate,’” Scarborough said on “Morning Joe” on Tuesday. “And, I will tell you, 99 percent of Americans don’t even know what those letters stand for. But they know that it’s probably racist.”

    Democrats have speedily rallied around Harris, who has received a flood of endorsements and cash in the wake of her boss’s exit from the race.

    “When I look at the vice president, I’m just looking at a — somebody that is a generation younger than [former President Trump], and I think it’s going to energize a lot of people that Democrats need to win this election,” Scarborough said.

    Now tell me if she would be where she is if she didn’t fulfill Biden’s pledge to pick a black woman as running mate.

    • Tundra

      “Besides,” Joe continued, “she sucks a mean dick!”

      • Compelled Speechless

        She’s so good at it he doesn’t even need the pill. Jill has a sad.

    • Sensei

      I will take the wager that more than 1% of Americans know what DEI stands for.

      • Urthona

        2 % at least

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      She’s the definition of a DEI candidate. Shame on you for noticing.

      • Urthona

        They literally announced they were making at DEI hire before picking her and are now pretending to be mad.

      • R.J.

        Heh. Dershowitz was triggered by people calling Vance a DEI hire today.

      • rhywun

        If Kamala Harris Is a D.E.I. Candidate, So Is JD Vance

        I want the three minutes I wasted skimming that pile of shit back.

      • Fourscore

        A white/Asian basketball player is a DEI in the NBA.

      • UnCivilServant

        Poor Fourscore, you’re running off the old definition of diversity.

        An all-black NBA team could only be made more diverse with black women and alphabet people, adding whites or asians would reduce it’s diversity score.

    • rhywun

      But they know that it’s probably racist.

      “Wink, wink; nudge, nudge.”

    • Compelled Speechless

      Any chance that there’s any of the Morning Joe audience that will have a modicum of reflection on the fact that this is the same political prognosticator that spent the last two months repeating ad nauseum that this is “the best version of Joe Biden.” In a sane world the complete lack of credibility would matter.

      • juris imprudent

        In a sane world the complete lack of credibility would matter.

        Oh, you mean a world without an MSNBC.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I mean, it is not like she was chosen explicitly due to her demographic markers or anything. If that were the case then she would definitely be a DEI hire.

    • bacon-magic

      “Come on guys, they are no longer paying me to be a spoiler” – Nikki

      • Compelled Speechless

        Maybe she should wear a jacket with the logo of who’s paying her that week to help clear up any confusion.

    • R C Dean

      Can’t imagine why. She was always an anti-Trump warmonger. Harris the anti-Trump warmonger now in the race, so what’s she complaining about.

  14. SDF-7

    Nice foreign policy implications there. The kowtowing to the pro-Hamas wing continues apace… I honestly don’t know why the Jackasses aren’t bleeding (((voters))) like crazy. The koolaid is strong for The Tribe, I guess.

    • The Last American Hero

      The one thing blacks and Jews agree on is voting D.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, there are long chin-strokers out there explaining (((them))) and it’s basically a cultural thing going back many decades. They are not immune to pulling the lever without giving it a second’s thought.

      • R C Dean

        I thought (((they))) were supposed to be smart.

        What happened to “But is it good for the Jews?”, anyway?

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Its Urban vs. Rural politics. Jews and blacks are both mainly urban, so, of course they are gonna vote D.

      • rhywun

        With the glaring exception of Brooklyn’s haredim who are like 100% Republican but to be fair that’s pretty much only NYC.

  15. DEG

    He is the latest opposition activist to be detained in the run-up to the presidential election on 28 July, in which the opposition hopes to unseat the incumbent, Nicolás Maduro.

    Hugo Chavez’s birthday.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    DEI programs are often aimed at promoting fairness and equality in institutions and attempt to tackle historical inequities connected with racism, homophobia and sexism. They have come under attack from the right, with Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio), currently the Republican nominee for vice president, introducing a bill last month to ban DEI programs and funding in the federal government.

    “The DEI agenda is a destructive ideology that breeds hatred and racial division,” Vance said in a previous statement. “It has no place in our federal government or anywhere else in our society. I’m proud to introduce this legislation, which would root out DEI from our federal bureaucracy by eliminating such programs and stripping funding for DEI policies anywhere it exists.”

    “aimed at promoting” “attempt to tackle”

    Nothing but the best intentions as far as the eye can see. Do they work? Does it matter?

    • R C Dean

      “Do they work?”

      I believe they are accomplishing their intended goals, yes.

    • Compelled Speechless

      You can have fairness or you can have equality. You can’t have both.

    • juris imprudent

      are often aimed

      Oh, and sometimes they aren’t?

    • Tundra

      Uh, what?

    • The Other Kevin

      Crap, some of the DNC will be at United Center. If they burn it down and it affects the hockey season I will be pissed. They can have McCormick place.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      After she raised all that money to bail them out! Ingrates!

    • Compelled Speechless

      An open primary give them a chance to grift shop. Sure she raised money for a fund to bail the BLM brown shirts out of jail, but what has she done for them lately?

    • rhywun

      Perhaps she is not kommie enough.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      The most shocking thing about that article is that there’s such a thing as a German comedian.

      • Sensei

        Scatalogical humor I assume.

      • R.J.

        I agree that he’s German. None of the phrases he uttered which I reviewed rose to the level of jokes.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “Overthrow democracy”
      How does one overthrow an idea?

    • rhywun

      minorities who are already humiliated on a daily basis

      Oh fuck off. Still 1955 with these people.

      • Tundra

        Minorities were ascendent until LBJ. So 1955 would be a monster improvement over this shit.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Huh…so dufus white guys, idiot white husbands, idiot white drivers…yep…they sure are.

  17. Evan from Evansville

    “[North Korean] diplomat Ri Il Kyu fled to South Korea with his wife and children in November (from Cuba).”
    Well, living in Cuba was a HUGE, eye-opening (I semi-imagine) step up from the cult of NoKo and the Kim dynasty. Seein’ how much better shit was there, along w far more int’l comin’s and goin’s… Yeah. No shit I’d bounce ASAP. Back to SoKo is culturally easier and he’ll be sure to get a gig talking/writing about it after he’s HEAVILY debriefed, but I’d still consider nicer political climes… eh. Anywhere farther away from NoKo as possible.
    “North Korea has previously expressed fury over some high-profile defections by accusing South Korea of kidnapping or enticing its citizens to defect.” Awww, poor lil Jong-Un! No one LIKES him, dammit!! I legit love SoKos ballooning in USBs so they’ll just drop. Folk find ’em and ways to view ’em. Gorgeous build of further Bottom-Up anger from the subjugated. Me likey much.

    • UnCivilServant

      I would love information on how the North Koreans manage to read those usb sticks.

      • Evan from Evansville

        SoKos have used balloons for a long while. (All the time, if semi-secret?) Apparently many USBs are given to Chinese, who smuggle them in as well. As for WHERE/HOW to view them, Pyongyang has power… apparently ‘most’ of the time. (Uh huh.) They do have phones and The Intertubes hard to block, as well as computers necessary for semi-modernity. Hard to unilaterally replace USB ports for ’em.

        Found this in search: The flash drives end up on the jangmadang (장마당!). It’s a market, but humans be human, and esp there they’re quite Black. KPop and just footage of fucking full grocery stores fucking was stunning to Northerners. They still have (some, limited) laptops, phones and other tech for Important People. The jangmadang have others that morel layfolk can use.

        Odd? I lived there for seven years. I never went to the DMZ. I didn’t really see the point. My parents did on their visit. I don’t like travelling and following others’ rules. OK if consensual partner/friends/parties. But a no-shit DMZ? Uh. I’ll catch the ballgame instead.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      “Well, living in Cuba was a HUGE, eye-opening (I semi-imagine) step up”

      When I lived in Europe my language teacher told a story about how he went to Moscow on his way to North Korea. It must have been in the 80s or maybe earlier. He thought Moscow was miserable and depressing. When he got to North Korea he couldn’t wait to get back to Moscow.

    • Evan from Evansville

      ‘Tis funny. In SoKo, Americans IN America worried far more about NoKo than S Koreans & expats did. They’ve been surrounded by the same ol’ same ol’ nonsense for so long it doesn’t rattle ’em.

      What DID get big news, mostly for the fun of it, was Kim Jong-Il dying… December 17, 2011. I was there for that but not many stories. Daejeon and the whole country uh…had a Night on the Town that week+. More humor was added when Jong-Un had his bro assassinated. With VX nerve gas, in the Kuala Lumpur Airport, IIRC by two cute chicks who acted as candid, fluff-news “journalists.” That was fun. There’s youtube video w the footage. Pressed/pushed a wet cloth over his face… Hrm. Not the way I’d prefer to go.

      • R C Dean

        “More humor was added when Jong-Un had his bro assassinated.”

        Dang, that’s old school. Like, Egyptian pharaoh old school.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That what growing up in the 80’s was like. Oh, WWIII? Whatever. If it happens, it happens.

      • Evan from Evansville

        @RC: Jong-nam(?) was their dad’s “favorite.”

        And The Rock way of assassination…in a VERY public place. It was fuckin’ nasty ‘Family Time.’ Daddy groomed the elder. Jong-Un was the sorta Loser of the fam. Well. He who shall be last…

        Standard disclaimer: W/o China/(to a lesser extent) Russia, North Korea would no longer exist. *shrug*)

    • Urthona

      Any potential volcanic activity beneath DC would be great.

    • The Other Kevin

      If global warming causes the caldera to blow, I’ll have beach front property! Or something.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Finally, the Earth is healing.

  18. Tundra

    Now that she’s doing campaign events, I really think Kamala needs some really solid walk up music.

  19. Tres Cool

    Yes, I drive like a Mexican ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Now I have alternate lyrics to “Walk Like An Egyptian” going in my head.

    • Tundra

      Susanna Hoffs is often cavorting through my mind.

      Boing.

      • Tres Cool

        Totally bunk-worthy.
        You’re dismissed.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      All the low riders on the road
      They scrape the speed bumps, don’t you know.
      If they drive too quick (oh way oh)
      They bounce around like a yo-yo.
      All the hombres at Home Depot
      Waiting on a job that they can get
      Chupacabras (oh way oh)
      They snap their teeth on a Chiclet.

      Drive like a Mexican.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        👏 Golf 👏 Clap 👏

      • KSuellington

        No fat chicks, I scrape already.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I don’t know what that means, but I am 90% certain that a 1981 Datsun mini-truck is involved.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    Know what is nice working in the FedGov field from either a non-favored special project or a not-so-important place? They absolutely despise in general, democratic policies.

  21. Suthenboy

    Another CARAVAN!!! headed north. No names or organizers, NGO’s or pols attached. No one held to account for what amounts to hostile action against the USA. No one is asking, no one is telling. All those people simultaneously had a brain fart and decided to try their luck.

  22. Spudalicious

    There’s an ass for everyone on that front page picture.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I think the airbags in France’s ass went off somehow. I’ll take Brazil’s.

      • DEG

        Probably a BBL.

      • KSuellington

        You could easily get hurt playing with an ass as big as Ms France’s. Largest recommended size for a non professional would be Brazil’s.

      • rhywun

        Brasil looks like a dude from the neck up.

      • KSuellington

        Heheh. On closer inspection you could be correct. Brazil loves its travestis.

  23. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    My dog sitter crapped out on me. Anyone want an RV vacation in the Smoky Mountains in late October that actually pays cash money?

    • Tres Cool

      *ahem*

      Leave your underwear?

      • Sean

        Lol

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        I’m giving it all to the RV repair guy for safe keeping

      • Tres Cool

        I was gonna help you out and do laundry.

      • Gdragon

        Tres is just like that kid in The Sixth Sense, if you leave him alone with a bunch of drawers you’ll come back and see something very suspicious and strange.

    • Don escaped Texas

      absurd form

      I hate Trump

      but I don’t hate his golf: he’s broken and worn out like I hope to live to be, but he swings inside out……the telltale of a competent ball-striker; my guess is that he has been competent mid-handicapper at one point or another, so, rock on old dude

      • Tundra

        Yep. You get it.

  24. Don escaped Texas

    thanks for comments on le Tour

    I agreed with them all, particularly the ones about the various ways I’m wrong

    I’ve added all the greats to my notes, and now all the usual suspects floated to the top

    • Tres Cool

      I did my 1st century (the Huffman Hundred) when I was 13. Two more after that, and a ton of other rides until I got my driver’s license.
      My dad was a cycling nut, so we all got involved whether we wanted to or not.
      I still remember the Schwinn ads on the back of Bicycling Magazine for the “Parmount” and the Jean-Claude Kelly endorsements for their exercise equipment.

  25. Tres Cool

    I’d like it entered into the record that Best Gyro totally rocks my fuckin’ nuts off.