Around the same time, I was at a bar in downtown Augusta. A young woman came to speak with me. She said: You look sad, can I tell you a joke? OK, said I. So she said: what’s the difference between jelly and jam? I said I didn’t know. She said: you can’t jelly a dick in someone’s ass. I didn’t laugh but at least it was a joke I hadn’t heard before.
I decided to cut to the chase by asking her if she worked for the government. She said: Ooh, are you paranoid? Do you think the government is spying on you? She then claimed to work for an ad agency, which was amusing as I suspected someone at NSA had been manipulating my internet ads.
Then she said: I bet I can guess your 1st name. And she “did”, and I put that in quotes because it was obvious by now even though I had never met her before, she knew by name, what I looked like, and when and where to find me. Then she said: I bet I can guess your middle initial. Give me a hint. So I said: it’s a letter between A and Z. She then correctly “guessed” my middle initial.
After that, she talked to me about a diamond tattoo on the right side of her left index finger. She said it had been a crown, but she got it changed later because she didn’t like the way it looked. I asked about the man she came with. She claimed he was her date, yet he did not mind at all that she was paying so much attention to me and ignoring him.
She offered as well to buy me a drink, but as I was on #4 at the time, I said no thanks. Hard as it might be to believe, in the hours leading up to that encounter, I spent several hours responding to YouTube clips in a conversation that resembled a game of charades. My cue to leave after telling them where and when I would be was a clip titled “Shut Up, Meg”. And when I say “telling”, I mean I wrote on Notepad with my laptop with the expectation that they could see it as they were spying on me.
A few days after I started working in the golf cart factory, Russia invaded Ukraine, and I got a surprise text from my sister wherein she asked me if I was going off to fight. At the time, I expected Russia to conquer Ukraine in 3 months, so I told her no, because I saw no interest in fighting for a lost cause. When I asked her why I should go if the Army is too chicken to fight Russia, she said because I have combat training, foreign language skills, and that my presence would not signal the beginning of World War 3. She also mentioned completing the hero’s journey, which I found odd, as I have never used that phrase with her. It seemed clear that someone had coached her to say that and asked her to contact me. My sister has never contacted me out of the blue like that.
In early January, I met a woman through online dating and began a romantic relationship with her. I had to pause that for a few months when I found out she was still legally married though estranged. She was struggling with past trauma and addiction, so we seemed like a natural pair. We comforted each other.
Also in January I visited a therapist on advice from a close friend. I shared my suspicions using visual aids from my laptop, but the therapist was more concerned with my alcohol abuse. I felt a little better after the session, but it was not worth $90 to me. Fortunately, I never got a bill for it. I guess the VA paid.
My nights in the golf cart factory were mostly uneventful except for an engineer who insisted on provoking me. It didn’t stop until I jabbed a blunt object in his face and told him not to touch me again. That was 6 months or so after his initial assault, whereby he came up behind me, grabbed my arm, and yelled in my ear. Months later, he came up behind me, nut to butt, and said we were going to fight, and I was going to prison, etc. That is when I had to brandish a blunt object at him.
He was very proud of a kanji tattoo that he said meant “warrior spirit” but when I looked it up on my own, it simply means “fighting” and in Japanese is pronounced bu. Bushi means warrior; bushido means way of the warrior. The Japanese phrase for warrior spirit is yamato damashii and contains 3 kanji. It’s a bad idea to get a tattoo in a language you can’t read, because it’s probably not going to say what you think it says. Tattoo artists don’t double check these things. Also, the only people in Japan who have tattoos are criminals called yakuza. I doubt the people who get kanji tattoos know any of these things. By a strange coincidence, he disappeared from the factory not long after I remarked on this to my gal pal.
I had an interesting encounter with him on the evening of Veterans Day. There was an assembly on the factory floor with about 100 people present and the speaker asked any veterans to step forward. When none did after a pause, I did. I found that odd as I knew that in a crowd that size, I could not be the only veteran. When I entered the cafeteria, the only other person eating was the obnoxious engineer. I suppose it was some kind of subtle peace offering. I said nothing to him and ate another table.
The Saturday prior to Veterans Day in 2022, I marched in a Veterans Day parade while on a visit to my parents in Tennessee. When I returned, I bought some beer despite several glitches with the scanner and card reader. When I tried to watch YouTube videos, my headphones blasted static. That continued for 5 days until I left open a picture on my desktop of me holding a machine gun along with a video of a rattlesnake preparing to strike. I suspect this is what got me the special treatment for the Veterans Day meal. My headphones worked normally after Veterans Day.
what county do your folks live in ?
Cumberland
Nice place.
FirstWife grew up there after her dad moved them from Fort Worth: Peavine Rd to Lantana
I could never figure out if they needed a psychiatrist or dentist more back during Reagan, but I think it’s firmed up some since then.
didjaknow: largest county in TN by area
for years TN tags started with a prefix that was your county’s rank by size; Cumberland was 40 in the years I noticed
Here it is, the penultimate episode. I’ve done my best these past few years to turn my scars into souvenirs and my pain into power. Things are going well for me now.
A student in my class wrote an interesting essay in favor of gay marriage. In it, she noted that if the purpose of marriage is procreation, the age of consent should be lowered to increase fertility.
Another student who gets picked on often told off his tormentor by asking him that if he was 3 inches deep in his mom and his dad was 3 inches deep in him, which way would he push. I struggled to stifle my laughter.
“Kids say the darndest things!”
That’s pretty damn funny. It would be difficult for me to not make the bully answer.
Thanks for sharing your story and I’m glad you are kicking ass.
Boom on scars into souvenirs. I’ve pondered here what % of “Millennials” have ink, and I think at least 50%, pushing 70%. I never wanted any before, cuz I imagine myself ten years ago and KNOW I wouldn’t trust. I haven’t been “enlightened” to warrant anything else.
The hip replacement scars on my ass on the best, but obviously not show-offable. I’ve got two dime-sized ones on each hand. I semi-seriously refer to them as the “Kissing Sisters.” They (kinda) match up when i hold ’em together. Quite pleased by it.
As for your students..I’m profoundly envious. I’ve had few ‘open discussion/thought’ classes like that. My last one in Korea, i did have three 15-or-so year olds who were fluent. As long as we talked in English, I didn’t give a fuck, really. Eventually I’d just blow through the book work w ’em and we’d play poker. Started with draw and got ’em REALLY into hold ’em. I used candy as ‘money.’
On the flipside, in Singapore I taught younger kids, the youngest were three. Started w phonics and moved up to reading. No shit, I taught kids, and personally witnessed them read their first books in English. That…damn. Feelin’ positive electricity thinking about it.
I’m fucking astounded your kids are at that level and that open. Especially so fast. Um. I never reached this Promise Land.
I learned early on that making an honest argument that did not align with the teacher’s viewpoint on a matter got bad grades.
Being entirely frank, it’s sometimes hard for me to remember which of your writings are supposed to be fully true and which are not, but I have to admit that when I see “golf cart factory” (being pretty familiar with Augusta) I go “OK, well I definitely know where that is”.
I thought it would be fun to alternate between my autobiography and my novella, as I wrote my bio first, and it served as a template for my novella a year and half later.
I dedicate the next video to RJ, although I think everyone should see this
https://youtu.be/4xv_ouDbd70
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysUjYAi0WcQ
And since this is the last episode.
Cheers, Derp.
Released today in 1981 for you.
https://youtu.be/56u6g0POvo0?si=Knbuj35qsFi_sXQY
Cynical, but awesome.
Thanks Timeloose.
A thought I just had. The plague supposedly killed many. The group most affected were those 60 and older. Those 60 and older own the most residential real estate. If all of the above are true, how is there a shortage in the market?
Looking around at death rates I see nothing but crap. None of the numbers mean anything.
My favorite are the charts that have microscopic footnotes “The data post-2019 are UN projections (models)…in other words complete bullshit.
The supposition falls apart at the first data point.
The actual fatality numbers were no different from a flu season, and the flu deaths were nonexistant in the records for those years, which means either it simply killed those that would have died from the flu anyway, or flu deaths were misrepresented as coronavirus deaths, or both.
Time to make the donuts, bitches.
🌄😏🍩
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3PU4d5Iogd4
🎶🎶
alternate donuts
https://www.nj.com/realestate-news/2024/08/this-is-the-most-expensive-home-for-sale-in-new-jersey-right-now.html
Imagine paying that much to live in NJ. 😳
Masochists exist.
Imagine having to live in NJ. I did live there but was happy to see NJ in my rear view mirror
Morning, Glibs.
Mornin’ and howdy-doody time.
Good morning, U, EfE, Sean, rhy, and Suthen!
How goes?
So far so good! It’s going to be a scorcher here today, though! 🥵 How about you?
I’m hoping this partial ear clog is just misplaced wax and not sign of an upper respiratory infection.
😟🤞
730-630 today. So far I’ve done ~9 documented plasmapheresis set-ups outta 25 needed. Their goal is to have me ‘on my own’ by Sept 8. It’s going remarkably well. First paycheck will fully reveal the fruits of my labors.
It’s gonna be a wild and productive ride. I’m astounded how I continually weasel my way into new opportunities. Get this sorted out for a year and I legit may have (pushing?) $20k leftover for pure savings. Bigly big. Kick ass today and onward, y’all.
!!!?
Whatever DNS service the Holiday Inn Express here uses, it will not resolve several sites associated with PJ Media (The image hosting across all their verticals, and it won’t resolve Townhall at all) but the moment I connected to Proton VPN, it all loaded quickly, indicating that these sites are up and running and it is either the hotel or their DNS provider giving bad or incomplete data.
Mornin’
Time for the gym.
Good morning, DEG! Happy workout!
The Germania Society really put on a great Oktoberfest. Felt it to be a bit early, but with so many coming up, I guess they wanted to get ahead of the game. Among the normal games and hijinks they had armored combat. In the high 80s/low 90s heat, I applaud those guys for their service to entertainment.
Almost like Christmas in July, OBE. On could celebrate a birthday monthly or even oftener.
You’ll find that Cincinnati puts on a really big one. The place was settled by a lot of germans after all.
suh’ fam
whats goody