“What do you mean that he didn’t even take a shot‽” Kamala said, hitting the intern with a clipboard.
“The Secret Service, ma’am…” the intern began and she hit him again.
Ella flounced in wearing a dress made of dead ducks. “They missed him again, Momala!”
“I know, baby,” Kamala said, hitting the intern a few more times, driving zim/zum/zurp from the office. “Twelve hours and the idiot couldn’t wait a few more minutes.”
Kamala studied Ella for a few moments, the blood dripping from the ducks, running down her legs like a dozen periods, the stains on her white floor. “Are those real ducks?” she asked.
Ella twirled, flinging blood around the office. “Of course they are!” she said.
“Just why, Ella?”
“To support Haitian immigrants, of course!” Ella said excitedly. “It’s getting a lot of positive feedback on Intsa.”
“Have you ever met a Haitian, Ella?”
“They can eat my kitty anytime,” Ella said with a grotesque giggle.
“That’s a cruel lie,” Kamala said.
“So they don’t eat they/them pussy?” Ella asked, her face scrunching in on itself.
Kamala struggled to reply but was cut off by another intern appearing at the office door, shim was trembling and pale. “Ma’am? Some bad news, the next assassin on the list has killed himself.”
“Then go to the next one! Do I have to do everything around here‽”
The intern scurried away, protecting hem’s head from The Clipboard of Admonishment.
“So disappointing,” Ella said. “Much sad.” She looked down on her feet, which were swarming with campylobacter.
“The next one on the list is also dead!” the intern cried from the lobby.
“Fucking FBI. Can’t they do anything correctly?” Kamala asked.
“Looking to have someone killed?” a gravelly voice asked. “You should have brought in a professional.”
“Auntie!’ Ella said, and rushed to hug her, feather and blood and duck shit sticking to the ancient evil’s brocade robes.
“Now, let’s get to work,” Hillary said, with a black smile. She ripped the head off a duck on Ella’s dress like a ticket stub in a deli and began to eat it noisily.
Fuck me.
I have to run errands to get ready for the trip north.
I am going to miss all of this.
“zim/zum/zurp”
LOL. Also, the physical comedy is wonderful.
So when are you going to do a parody on these folks, SF?
SF isn’t that creative. He just transcribes the tapes.
OMG, OMG, OMG…
So much goodness here.
Seriously epic.
It’s almost worth Momala winning if we get eight years of this.
Your word of the day, children, is “campylobacter”. Try to use it in a sentence.
She ripped the head off a duck on Ella’s dress like a ticket stub in a deli and began to eat it noisily.
Ha!
I had to look it up.
Me too. I gagged.
*ponders*
You know, a ‘dress’ like that would probably be less hideous than what she normally wears.
I could eider take it or leave it.
You, sir or madame, are clearly up to Somateria. No good will come of this.
I’m down with dat.
These puns are going to goose Swissy into action.
You quack me up!
Drake is conspicuous in his absence.
Lady Gaga reference?
https://www.digitalspy.com/music/a166427/gaga-stuns-germans-in-kermit-outfit/
zim/zum/zurp
Is that Romanian?
Damn.
*points to avatar*
Mustache rides ruined.
Thanks a lot.
How so? You can ride her mustache anytime you want.
You have just given me erectile dysfunction.
I thought that was Karine’s signal to enter – but she’s in the other world still being ruined by Hunter.
She’s a Haitian that eats pussy. She’s too busy being a stereotype.
The circle of life or something.
campylobacter
I love to learn, but ewwwwww.
Whoa.
Sure, why not. Pay no mind that physics makes this difficult with (mandated) EVs. What’s another automotive mandate?
House committee approves bill requiring new cars to have AM radio
https://www.theverge.com/2024/9/18/24248137/am-radio-bill-house-energy-commerce-ev-interference
How is it difficult to put it in EVs (not that it should be a requirement)? Or does the bill actually require good reception?
I’m assuming “functional” is requirement. Otherwise let’s just play an mpeg of “static” while pretending to tune a channel.
My assumption is they can get something to work that will sound so bad nobody will willingly listen to it. That will satisfy the regulators and cost money while adding zero value to consumers.
We call that a “DC Win”!
I’m skeptical on how much of a problem this is for manufacturers…
LOL. Reception is shitty whenever I’m trying to tune for traffic updates at the HRBT.
I can’t remember the last time i even listened to am radio.
When are the car companies gonna smarten up and hire Big Pharma and MIC lobbyists to get fedov off their backs?
I know that VDOT sometimes uses (or perhaps formerly used) low power AM radio to warn motorists about construction, etc. Signs reading “Tune Radio to 540 AM for Traffic Info.”
I wonder if that has something to do with this?
Do NOT force the government to modernize and use FM!
Comment *No static at all, fedgov
It’s not a modernization thing. AM is better suited for the task due to lower power requirements. And probably some other reasons that I’m forgetting from my ham radio studies.
https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/1669/cosponsors?q=%7B%22cosponsor-state%22%3A%22Minnesota%22%7D
Special K and Special Tina Smith are co-sponsors. It’d be interesting to see if Big Radio donated to either of them.
J.D. Vance is also a co-sponsor
Do people still listen to conservative talk shows on AM radio?
I listen to AM 670 The Score out of Chicago in my truck more than anything else.
A couple years ago the local AM sports radio station bought an FM station. It didn’t make sense to me at the time, but I guess this is why.
Where did that poster come from? she should be wearing Chuck Taylors.
House committee approves bill requiring new cars to have AM radio
Maybe they’re bringing back the civil defense radio network. If they’re not, they should be,
New Trump song. Better than his campaign ads, they should use it.
https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2024/09/18/if-he-can-take-a-bullet-i-can-write-a-song-american-heart-singer-songwriter-jon-kahn-releases-trump-inspired-fighter/
The use of the interrobang makes me happy. Bravo.
Ew.
The Clipboard of Admonishment
I kinda want one of those.
Building better junkies
“I think we have to be careful when we get optimistic and see a slight drop in overdose deaths,” said Dan Salter, who heads a federal drug interdiction program in the Atlanta-Carolinas region. “The last thing we want to do is spike the ball.”
But most public health experts and some people living with addiction told NPR they believe catastrophic increases in drug deaths, which began in 2019, have ended, at least for now. Many said a widespread, meaningful shift appears underway.
“Some of us have learned to deal with the overdoses a lot better,” said Kevin Donaldson, who uses fentanyl and xylazine on the street in Burlington, Vermont.
According to Donaldson, many people using fentanyl now carry naloxone, a medication that reverses most opioid overdoses. He said his friends also use street drugs with others nearby, ready to offer aid and support when overdoses occur.
The last thing in the world we want is for anybody to think our budgets are sufficient. We can always use more money.
And just think how ripped you can get if you know somebody will be able to bring you back from the Other Side.
Saw a funny post on x earlier – about a guy who carries Narcan just to use it on junkies he sees sitting around in his neighborhood. Not that they’re overdosing, but just in the middle of a high.
“if government isn’t going to do anything about his neighborhood, he’ll do it himself”
Apparently some warnings about not standing too close when you bring them back to reality – but after Narcan, they can’t get high for 2 days or something.
Ruining a junkies high is a great way to get your ass kicked.
After the first overdose I dealt with, I learned to always tie them down before Narcan. They wake up disoriented and pissed.
The otc stuff is nasal. Are they passed out enough to administer it and do you want to get that up close and personal?
Other folks were mentioning that. Sounded pretty funny – but the original poster said he was tracking that situation ;p
Found it.
https://x.com/hodlboi/status/1836056778192105559?t=2YUcZBowHJirPmlyteYXiA&s=19
So he’s admitting (if true) to assault in X. An asshole and stupid.
The replies have some awesome memes, etc….
Easy solution: Dart guns.
Or aerosolized dispersion for the neighborhood.
All I want it for it to be as difficult to buy Narcan as it is for me to buy Vicodin.
Had a stack of these stupid narcan ads (from amazon???) on youtube for a while.
shit like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chTuAMh26mg&pp=ygUZYW1hem9uIG5hcmNhbiBjb21tZXJjaWFsIA%3D%3D
He believes these changes – a response to the increasingly toxic street drug supply – mean more people like himself are surviving.
“For a while we were hearing about [drug deaths] every other day. When was the last one we heard about? Maybe two weeks ago? That’s pretty few and far between,” he said.
That is good news. We wouldn’t want those people to snuff it before they have cast their votes.
I was under the impression that the latest trendy drugs – like that horse tranquilizer that’s powering all those zombies shuffling around Philadelphia – are not opioids and therefore do not respond to naloxone.
“campylobacter”
This is why I come here. For the education.
Well played.
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/4886451-pennsylvania-gov-denied-alcohol-shapiro/
That cashier…missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
“I would like to pay for these please.”
Clerk: “May I see your ID?”
“I, uh..uh…I dont seem to have it on me.”
Clerk: ” I am sorry Sir. I cant sell it to you without ID. That is the law.”
“But, I am the governor. You know me.”
Clerk: ” Look Sir, this isn’t a voting booth. You have to show ID, no exceptions.
That would have been spectacular.
How the Hell does he not have his ID on him? That is odd.
He probably doesn’t drive himself or purchase anything for himself, ever.
This was terribly disrespectful of someone who will be the first Jewish President of the United States. Just because they card my 80 y.o. self when I buy some wine is no reason to card one of the elite.
I was sitting in my office reading this when a co-worker stuck his head in.
He seemed a bit perplexed by my simultaneous looks of amusement and disgust.
I did not offer an explanation, it is for the best.
TPTB: if this is inappropriate, nuke it and let me know…
Kansas City Area meet up this Saturday, September 21. Time & location just posted in the Forums in a new thread under Meetups. If you can’t access Forums let me or Mojeaux (hope that’s OK) in a comment thread.
Mojeaux. Ozy, Me confirmed. There was someone else who noted in a comment a few weeks ago that they are in that area but I don’t remember their handle – let me know if that’s you.
Inappropriate? We just got done discussing pussy-eating Haitians and Hillary.
Sounds great! I hope y’all have a great time!
Coincidentally, both of those will be at the meetup.
“Meet you at Taco Bell, ese!”
My God this woman is terrible.
¡Ay, caramba!
Slowpoke Gonzalez’ sister
I can’t remember the last time I saw a vid of her that she didn’t look like she’d just had a big ol’ huff of nitrous.
Benzos my man, it’s benzos.
I defer to your expertise in these matters.
*takes swig of tequila*
I might have been hungover during economics class that day and I don’t remember for sure so I’ll just assume the fellas at the Fed know what they’re doing and cutting rates is actually good for addressing inflation. Maybe I was still drunk or something that but I could have sworn it was the opposite.
Narrator: It’s the opposite.
Bidenomics ended Trump’s inflation!
“Dual Mandate”.
One thing I love about our completely independent fed is that when every Democrat asks for a 50 bps cut right before an election, they damned sure do it.
Without getting in to the politics of this, I will say there are a couple of financial advisors I read (at least one of which is very much a free market guy) who make the argument that inflation spiked some time ago and a rate cut is a good idea.
The flood of new money from deficits hasn’t slowed down. Ergo (monetary) inflation hasn’t spiked. Price inflation may be moderated, mainly by China’s exporting deflation in an effort to shore up its collapsing economy.
Brutal.
https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1836518555648692570
The Bee throws down the gauntlet for Newsom.
Fantastic.
What a POS he is.
Newsome is an oily used car salesman with good hair and that’s about it, an empty vessel that makes Justin Trudeau look smart.
Good on them but Cali’ll wait and charge someone that either made something borderline illegal or a a tack on charge for something that’s definitely illegal. I wish they were stupid enough to test this law on a sympathetic defendant but they’ll bide their time and some poor slob’s going to get fucked.
But he just signed a bill…
Boom.
Science bless the Babylon Bee
Ironically, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard his voice.