290 Comments

  1. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    That 3rd grade teacher, did threaten to shot his students, or to “play his Trump card?”

    • rhywun

      I don’t think he threated to end democracy.

    • SDF-7

      The guy was 70 teaching 3rd grade… I imagine his patience just snapped.

      I thought public education folks still had pensions — why the dickens was he still working at 70? (I guess “Really loved teaching kids” is a possibility… but if so, maybe time to pack it in sir…)

      • Pat

        Friend of our family spent about 20 years teaching at a private religious school affiliated with the church she attended, earning about half what the local public school district teachers were getting. They let her go when she was in her early 50s. She got on with the local public school district, but they have a 20 year minimum requirement to collect full pension. She finally got to retire a few years ago.

    • Fourscore

      Do I thank a teacher ’cause I could read this or because I got out of the hive alive.

      /Teacher that never had any class

  2. WTF

    Hillary Clinton Calls for Americans to Be ‘Criminally Charged’ for Free Speech that Sounds Like ‘Russian Propaganda’

    The worst part is that half the country is enthusiastically on board with this. So glad the left is toning down the inflammatory rhetoric.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Sadly even the Right would cheer this on if said by their equivalent of Her.

      • Nephilium

        Who needs principles anymore. This is the most! IMPORTANT! ELECTION! EVAR!

      • WTF

        Sadly even the Right would cheer this on if said by their equivalent of Her.

        I would need to see some evidence before I jump on board that assertion.

      • juris imprudent

        This is the most! IMPORTANT! ELECTION! EVAR!

        Pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to stop my hand from slapping the shit out of anyone saying that [unironically] in my physical presence.

      • cyto

        Unfortunately, I fear that the last election was the most important election ever, and the ones from now on may not matter.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        And I would argue, JI, that this IS the most important election ever simply because all elections are of tantamount importance! You look at the “long march through the institutions” and this is how they start: school boards, judgeships, etc. Elections. You want a SCOTUS that actually looks at the constitution, and not whatever Affirmative Action Jackson word salads? Elections.

        I swear to God, the next person who, on the one hand swears we are losing rights while on the other hand says elections don’t mater, is the one who truly needs their brains slapped back into their heads.

        /good to have you back from VACA. How’s the wife?

      • juris imprudent

        Well ZWAK, for all the “importance”, how little will change – even if the Repubs sweep the elections. Surely you aren’t predicting any kind of major shift in the House?

        Spain spent close to two years without “a government” – really just meaning some politicians nominally in charge. Did the country collapse into chaos? And Spain has political parties much farther apart on the scale than ours.

        Wife is still sleeping this morning, and that was with minimal unpacking of the trailer yesterday. I didn’t sleep well – in my own bed – because I was so used to the trailer bed. We might have been gone just a little too long, though the dogs were ecstatic that we were back.

      • R C Dean

        “we are losing rights”

        Well, we are.

        “elections don’t matter”

        Please direct me to an election in recent memory that changed the fundamental trajectory of the country with respect to government scope, spending, or the transfer of real power to the agencies.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Well, JI and other assorted Glibs, how do you change that trajectory? By voting! And each incremental change is the start of that Long March (Back) Through the Institutions. This is a gigantic ship (for lack of a better analogy) and to change course on a ship that large, which do you think is better: gradual turns of the ships wheel, slowly moving the rudder? Or just giving up, hoping that the iceberg in front of you starts to realize that it will be better off if you don’t broadside it?

        If you are waiting for the iceberg to move first, well, I got a sad story to tell you.

        And RC, if one election changed everything, we would have started out with such a piss poor system that we wouldn’t be worrying about this, we would be fighting various strong men in a feudal system. No, this is a very resilient system, and, again, to change course in any meaningful way takes years of hard work. The Long March didn’t happen overnight, and won’t be rolled back overnight.

        As I have said, the best time to start this would have been 40 years ago. The second best time to start is right now.

      • Fourscore

        “Power comes from the barrel of a gun”

        Mao

    • SDF-7

      Personally, I’m still calling for Americans who conspire to fraudulently claim Russian collusion in order to spy on political opponents and derail opposition administrations to be criminally charged — and hopefully about the same results will come out of both (because I know damned well nothing is going to happen in my case…)

      • juris imprudent

        be criminally charged

        Violating what law – specifically? Or is this just the equivalent of Hillary’s proposal?

      • R C Dean

        How about sedition (as in, trying to overthrow or usurp the elected government)? Or, of course, for those who held actual government posts at the time, various and sundry civil rights violations?

      • cyto

        Using the CIA and FBI to spy on Americans for political purposes is unquestionably illegal.

        So is framing people for crimes they did not commit.

        So is releasing classified information to the press in order to spark an impeachment, particularly when that “classified” information is actually based on lies and illegal wire taps (that show nothing illegal other than the wiretaps)

        These unquestionably happened.

      • juris imprudent

        held actual government posts at the time

        Qualified immunity waves hello!

      • juris imprudent

        These unquestionably happened.

        OK, now cite the law that it violates. I’m not saying these people don’t deserve punishment – just that you are insane to expect the legal system (i.e. GOVERNMENT) to deliver that punishment.

      • R C Dean

        Two arguments – nothing they did was illegal (much of it was, although I’m not going to invest the hours into writing a 60 page legal brief on it) and our current government won’t enforce its laws against its friends (which is unquestionably true).

      • Homple

        “OK, now cite the law that it violates.”

        Hatch Act?

    • rhywun

      the left has accused them of being Russian agents simply for not supporting the Ukraine War

      Ah, there it is.

      Funny how everything in the last decade or so boils down to fucking Ukraine.

      • Ownbestenemy

        You’re either with us or the [insert programmed boogeyman here].

      • WTF

        And they’re going to keep fucking Ukraine for as long as they can to keep the grift going.

    • Social Justice is Neither

      May she get what she wishes for. If we actually and honestly got that, she and every Democrat spouting that free speech is a threat to our democracy and must be curtailed would need to be rounded up and imprisoned.

  3. Pat

    Secret Service Admits Trump’s Golf Course Wasn’t Searched Before Second Assassination Attempt

    Not that it excuses the Secret Service’s incompetence or malice, but if you had a billion dollars, and the incompetent fuck stains the government sent to protect you let you get shot in the ear on the 7th or 8th shot they allowed a sniper to get off, would you consider maybe hiring your own security to do things like sweep a wooded golf course to make sure nobody’s waiting to put another one in your dome?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Had a similar thought…maybe after a third time he’ll get it.

    • Drake

      Yep – I would have called Eric Prince that day.

      • The Last American Hero

        I would have called that number in the classified ads and had a meeting at Mr. Lee’s Laundry to hire 4 soldiers of fortune on the run for crimes they didn’t commit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Well the SS certainly isn’t sending their A team.

  4. Pat

    Tupperware files for bankruptcy

    Their brand image is no longer fresh.

    • WTF

      I didn’t even know they were still around.

    • Rat on a train

      What am I to do about storing food for the upcoming monsoon months, and how do I keep hotdog buns fresh?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Anchor Hocking and Pyrex both make Made In USA glass storage that is superior to Tupperware, for food storage. Got rid of the old pieces years ago.

        Generic ziploc bags would fine for bread if it’s not in the original bag.

      • Pat

        I have one plastic storage container that I still use. The rest got replaced with Pyrex kits, and some inexpensive one-off Anchor Hocking pieces ages ago. Not being I’m a hippie environmentalist or anything, just because glass doesn’t retain odors or get discolored, and is easier to clean.

  5. Ownbestenemy

    What a masterstroke to get documented names as people flood into hospitals after nearly getting their giblets blown apart.

    Sorry for innocent kids though…heck of a targeted strike though.

    • Nephilium

      All of the reporting on it has been entertaining to me. The only thing that would make it perfect is if it turns out that Hezbollah was the one who sent the code out that caused the detonations.

      • Drake

        I’m less amused as I’m looking at this blog on a hand held device. Not the last time this kind of attack happens – Bluetooth enabled cars come to mind. Matt Bracken talks about this example:
        https://cldc.org/who-killed-michael-hastings/

      • Nephilium

        Drake:

        As I’ve said quite frequently, it appears to me that the newer generation of IT people don’t consider security in the least. Not even as an after thought.

        I’m also pretty sure I’m not going to get a device that’s been loaded with a small amount of explosive all around the battery.

      • Nephilium

        Drake:

        Based on the explosives, and what I know about batteries and failure states, I’m leaning heavily towards the supply chain being the primary attack vector in this case. Got them widely distributed, and then (I really do hope) Hezbollah sent out a message (for meeting/attack/etc) that had been changed to a detonation code.

      • The Other Kevin

        It would almost have to be a supply chain hack. From videos I’ve seen, if a battery overheats or gets damaged, it starts to smoke and then bursts into flame. Looks like a flare lighting up. These were very sudden explosions that were like a gun shot.

      • Drake

        Sounds more likely at that size. No explosives needed for Bluetooth enabled cars, trains, planes…

      • Pat

        I’m less amused as I’m looking at this blog on a hand held device.

        Yaknow, they make phones with modular/removable batteries and user-serviceable hardware. Not easy to find, but they’re out there, and the more people buy them, the more people are motivated to create them. The Fairphone isn’t going to make chicks jump on your wiener, but you can easily tell if it’s got a bomb inside of it.

  6. Pat

    Third-Grade Teacher Threatened to Shoot His Students in Louisiana

    Sounds like those students should leave Louisiana.

    • Fourscore

      …or school…

  7. SDF-7

    Trump, who signed SALT deduction cap into law, now vows to ‘get SALT back’

    Oh for fuck’s sake…

    Try new and improved Pander! Pander will help you be all things to all people!

    Side effects of Pander include a diminished sense of morality and sometimes an annoying cricket showing up blathering about not being a jackass.

    Ask your campaign advisors if Pander is right for you!

    • WTF

      Yeah, that’s pretty bad. The high-tax blue states are not going to vote for Trump anyway.

      • Pat

        “We have a real chance of winning, for the first time in many decades, New York,” Trump claimed, arguing that crime, immigration and inflation have hurt state residents.

        I’d like to think it’s just bluster and he and his advisors couldn’t possibly be that delusional, but…

      • rhywun

        This.

        When he ended SALT, he also doubled the standard deduction. Which led to a tax cut for everyone under ~125K in NY.

        The left still went apeshit. That was one of the first moments I realized the Dems had become the party of the wealthy.

      • Ted S.

        It could be about the House elections in those states.

      • rhywun

        It could be about the House elections in those states.

        Yeah, the House contests seem pretty heated upstate, if all the commercials I’m seeing are anything to go by.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’d like to see him or JD Vance whistle stop a bunch of blue and smaller states. Fuck this modern political calculus that has candidates traveling to exhaustion while not actually doing that many events or canvassing the entire country that they’re supposedly trying to represent.

    • juris imprudent

      This is how Trump saves America huh?

    • R C Dean

      I don’t have any clue what “get SALT back” even means.

      In Current Day Clownworld, it’s apparently too much to ask for even one Presidential candidate who can string a sentence together.

      • juris imprudent

        Time to cast that vote for President Camacho!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      No tax on tips, or overtime wages. Full SALT deduction.

      Maybe he is one week away from repealing the income tax? lol

      • DrOtto

        Next we do Medicare – “We finally beat Medicare!”

  8. SDF-7

    Tupperware files for bankruptcy

    Sounds like their business was no party lately.

    • Beau Knott

      It’s just a small burp

    • Fourscore

      Likely they’ve lost their cover.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Trying to keep a lid on their financial woes.

    • Fourscore

      One of the problems is that so much food comes in reusable containers. Mrs F has lots of those and uses them when she one ways food to others. She doesn’t worry about returns, etc.

      • Nephilium

        The growth of takeout containers, and reusable containers as to-go containers at restaurants has added to that. I’m struggling to avoid becoming my parents who would hold onto every single plastic container (and probably still have at least two cupboards full of them after moving).

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Why Neph? We, as I just found yesterday, keep boxes of take out soup/Indian food containers in our basement.

        Just because!

      • R C Dean

        4X, that seems to be changing. I am noticing that all kind of stuff that used to come in sturdy/reusable plastic containers now comes in some kind of bag or cardboard container that ain’t so sturdy/reusable.

      • Tundra

        We’ve switched to glass storage containers. They have the added advantage of being microwave safe.

      • slumbrew

        Weight aside (if you’re travelling with them), I really like the glass Snapware containers we have.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        All that plastic is turning you guys gay (nttawwt).

  9. Ownbestenemy

    Someone needs to dub the SP episode ‘they took our jerbs!’ to ‘they ate our dawgs!’

    • Nephilium

      I’m both happy and slightly disappointed that South Park is taking this election season off and not coming back with new episodes until 2025.

      • rhywun

        Ah, I was wondering what happened there.

        I sincerely hope they lay off the politics – at least, the obvious parodies of real pols. Those episodes sucked ass.

      • Nephilium

        rhywun:

        Agreed, I’m sick of Garrison as Trump. I will say that I’ve grown on PC Principal and Strong Women as characters (along with the PC babies). I want more like the TSA in the bathrooms, the Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich, the anti-smoking episode and the like.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Agreed. More snukes and manbearpig or the Oceans satire of all the presidents and wannabes

  10. SarumanTheGreat

    Under her scheme Her Odiousness is the first person who should be charged for having spread Russian disinformation.

    • WTF

      “Accuse your opponent of what you are doing, to create confusion and to inculcate voters against evidence of your own guilt” -Saul Alinsky, Rules for Radicals.

      • Ted S.

        If TEAM RED weren’t the Stupid Party, they’d be tying every Democratic candidate to wanting to put you in jail for wrongthink.

    • rhywun

      +1 Birther

  11. Pat

    Looks like we’ve shifted seasons, as the solid week of rain and sub-100 F temps have sprung all of the vegetation back to life, and I have to spend 2 hours of my coveted time off mowing my yard. When does winter come and kill this shit off again?

    • R.J.

      Didn’t anyone tell you? Texas doesn’t get a winter. Prepare to mow in November.

      • Pat

        The one thing I miss about Nevada. No winters there either, but you don’t have to mow the sand and rocks. Or what the local Realtors euphemistically call “desert landscaping.” This time last year I was still too broke from the move to buy a mower or hire a guy, so I just let it go feral. It’s tempting, but the 8 hours I had to spend in the spring making 4 passes to get everything cut down, and earning a sunburn the faint outline of which can still be seen across the top of my feet where the straps of my slides go, was moderately worse than the weekly chore.

      • Ownbestenemy

        That’s desertscape to you sir!

      • Nephilium

        Pat:

        There’s a house down the street from me that has no grass in their lawn. Instead, they covered it in mulch, and put out scores of potted bulb plants. For the week they’re all in bloom, it looks gorgeous. The rest of the year, it’s a yard covered in pots.

      • R.J.

        Long term that will be a great strategy for him.

      • Pat

        Instead, they covered it in mulch, and put out scores of potted bulb plants.

        Not a terrible strat, although I’d probably kill the bulb plants, tbh.

        I used RM43 all around the foundation and outbuildings, but the vegetation here in Texas is a lot hardier than the sand spur thingamajigs in Nevada that eventually dry up and turn into tumbleweeds. Had to reapply after 6 months where it would last me over a year.

    • Pat

      Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.

      And now I’m going to shamelessly drink bourbon at 10:20 AM, because if I cared about your social conventions, I wouldn’t work an overnight vampire schedule in the first place.

  12. Pat

    Can a Dachshund be ‘genderfluid’?

    Sixty-two-year-old Elizabeth Pitt was employed as a social worker by Cambridgeshire County Council. In January 2023, Pitt, who is a lesbian, attended a meeting of the council’s LGBT employee group. A colleague piped up to say that his dog is ‘genderfluid’. This means that its gender identity supposedly fluctuates depending on the day, time or situation. One day, Fido is cocking his leg up over the fire hydrant, the next she is complaining that the term ‘sausage dog’ is outdated and cisheteronormative.
    […]
    Pitt decided to call this out as nonsense. This then sparked a heated debate about gender identity more broadly, during which Pitt and another co-worker shared their gender-critical views, criticising things like transwomen being allowed to compete in women’s sports or to enter female bathrooms.
    _
    For those of us with an ounce of common sense left, these views will sound perfectly reasonable. But Pitt’s trans-Dachshund-owning co-worker lodged a formal complaint with the council. He described her remarks as ‘offensive’ and ‘nasty opinions’. Another colleague who had been present at the meeting said she had a ‘really aggressive tone’.
    _
    As a result, Pitt was formally disciplined by her employer. Apparently, her opinions were ‘non-inclusive and transphobic’. She was also told that her comments caused ‘significant offence’ and had a ‘detrimental impact on the mental health and wellbeing’ of her colleagues. She was subsequently banned from attending any more events held by the LGBT group and from contacting its members.
    _
    In response, Pitt took Cambridgeshire County Council to a tribunal. This week, a judge concluded that her treatment ‘amounted to harassment / direct discrimination’ on the grounds of her gender-critical views – a ‘philosophical belief’ that is protected by the Equality Act 2010. As a result, Cambridgeshire council will not only have to pay out £55,910 in compensation and to cover Pitt’s legal costs, but it will also have to implement staff training on ‘freedom of belief and speech in the workplace’.

    I’m surprised (dare I say heartened?) at the result.

    • Rat on a train

      She was subsequently banned from attending any more events held by the LGBT group and from contacting its members.
      Don’t throw me in that briar patch.

      • cyto

        Perfect

      • PieInTheSky

        dare I say heartened – alas the British taxpayers has to foot the bill .

    • rhywun

      the council’s LGBT employee group

      I think I’ve spotted where everything started going off the rails.

    • cyto

      Wow. Shocking.

    • SarumanTheGreat

      Depending on the day and the season dogs identify as hungry, thirsty, shitty, pissy, sleepy, or horny.

      • R C Dean

        But one thing I’m pretty confident they never identify as is genderfluid.

      • EvilSheldon

        Oh? What if his dog is a puppy-play enthusiast who identifies as a Dachshund? What about then? Checkmate, bigot!

    • WTF

      My only thought on this is why would you argue with a crazy person?

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      I can imagine the court result is only because she’s a protected class. No way some old white guy wins that case. Probably thrown in jail for 2 years for hurting feelings.

      • Pat

        Probably true, although at this point I’d be content just to go back to the grievance hierarchy we had 15 years ago.

    • Tundra

      Perfect. Thanks, Holiness.

    • The Other Kevin

      This is why that Hendrickson Foundation tournament is so great. Their slogan is “Hockey changes lives”. Besides sled hockey, they have blind, deaf, warrior, and special hockey that weekend. It’s great to watch the special hockey games, they get so excited when they score.

      • Tundra

        Yes, they have done amazing work. My buddy’s kid plays adapted hockey (with Brock Faber’s little sister) and it’s been amazing for him.

      • Nephilium

        TOK:

        Local news has reported that Cleveland is making a pitch to host the 2030 Special Olympics USA games.

  13. Sean

    I played https://squaredle.com/xp 09/18:
    *21/21 words (+9 bonus words)
    📖 In the top 1% by bonus words

    I played https://squaredle.com 09/18:
    *41/41 words (+10 bonus words)
    ⏱️ In the top 10% by speed
    🔥 Solve streak: 621

  14. Pope Jimbo

    Was that wrong?

    A Minneapolis police officer who left his post to engage in a sex act with a woman has been fired, according to new documents released by city officials.
     
    Juan Carlos Alonzo Jr., who has served an officer with MPD since 2019, was fired on Feb. 22 after he was accused of meeting a woman for oral sex during his shift in 2022, sparking an internal affairs investigation last fall, which was reported on at the time by the Minnesota Star Tribune.
     
    His termination letter from Police Chief Brian O’Hara was published this week, and reveals that an internal investigation found Alonzo “engaged in sexual activity” while on duty and in uniform with a woman he met through the dating/hookup app Grindr.

    Uffda. First you complain about the cops being too brutal. “Get more involved with the community” you say. Then when they do, you fire them. Make up your minds!

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Lets all admit that a load dump is better than an ammo dump!

    • slumbrew

      “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”

    • PieInTheSky

      the question is if he had sex with a nonbinary human, would he still be punished?

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      I thought Grindr was for the gays?

      Or was it a ‘woman’?

      • Brochettaward

        There’s apparently a real issue where trans use it and even some hetero women with actual vaginas because some of the dudes on there are just “bi.”

        Source – Reddit bitching after a Google search.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Sounds like a good way to get AIDS.

    • Pat

      As long as the cops aren’t going to do anything of actual benefit to the community anyway, I’d rather they go for a nooner than sit around handing out traffic citations and doing code enforcement.

  15. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    Why is that cat fucking a fish? Just seems wrong.

    Secret Service Admits Trump’s Golf Course Wasn’t Searched Before Second Assassination Attempt

    Because of course it wasn’t. Maybe the USSS should take up fish fucking. Because they sure suck at Secret Servicing.

    • PieInTheSky

      Why is that cat fucking a fish? – that is how catfish are made?

      • Raven Nation

        @ Pie…standing ovation

      • bacon-magic

        Well done.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Excellent! You are a cunning linguist.

      • Tundra

        Lol. Nicely played.

  16. Certified Public Asshat

    Re: Banjos on fatties

    My very generous standard for women: no more than 200 pounds. When this limit is met, straight to fat camp until back to 150.

    • PieInTheSky

      I believe the standard depends on the man’s muscular development, as any man should be able to overhead press his woman’s weight.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I believe in freedom. Scrawny guys are allowed to love women who weigh 199 lbs.

    • Pat

      My very generous standard for women: no more than 200 pounds.

      But only if she’s 6’5″?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Kenworth.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Remember, kids, Donald trump is an authoritarian who wants to destroy democracy.

    • PieInTheSky

      I will make an note in my diary

  18. PieInTheSky

    Invading your country, stealing your property, harvesting your kidneys…Quite a definition of the free market in Tim Snyder’s forthcoming book “On Freedom.” As Buckley said about Galbraith, he’s a “pyromaniac in a field of straw men”

    https://x.com/mcmoynihan/status/1835018516388626672

    • slumbrew

      Snyder apparently has no idea what a “market” is. Me getting mugged is not a market transaction.

  19. DrOtto

    My Old School – maybe the best of a very good catalogue of music.

  20. Tundra

    “I think we need to uncover all of the connections and make it very clear that you could vote however you want, but we are not going to let adversaries, whether it is Russia, China, Iran, or anybody else, basically try to influence Americans as to how we should vote in picking our leaders,” she said.

    Thanks for your thoughts, thundercunt.

    • R C Dean

      She said, from her beachfront mansion paid for with Russian and Chinese money.

  21. Sensei

    Interesting.

    How Did Thousands of Pagers Used by Hezbollah Explode at the Same Time?

    https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/hezbollah-pager-explosion-explained-ed4274f3?st=4CwZAX&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    Early reports said that the pagers were manufactured by a company called Gold Apollo in Taiwan.

    Gold Apollo’s president, Hsu Ching-kuang, told reporters on Wednesday that his company didn’t make the pagers in question and that they were manufactured by a foreign company that had licensed his company’s brand and trademark about two years ago. Gold Apollo later issued a statement saying the pagers were designed and built by a company named BAC Consulting Kft, registered in Budapest. Calls to that company went unanswered. The person listed as the chief executive of BAC Consulting didn’t respond to requests for comment.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So Mossad backed/owned company

    • Gustave Lytton

      Wait til Hezbollah submits their warrant claims…

  22. PieInTheSky

    Hezbollah Exploding Pagers: What We Know So Far

    based on where most kept the pagers, there is a joke on the interwebz ‘From the river to the sea, now you must sit down to pee’

    • Nephilium

      /golf clap

      There’s a chance this could backfire, I mean, this could be the next wave of suicide bombers. What’s the line from the original Candyman movie? Something along the lines of, “After a man loses that [his penis], ain’t nothing more to live for.”

      • PieInTheSky

        I am sure it can backfire but I cannot help but admire how the whole operation was carried. Say what you will about (((them))) but (((they))) can be resourceful on occasion

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        See, that right there is your gender fluid wiener, dog!

  23. Pope Jimbo

    When we were growing up, my mom had a big Tupperware Spring Green Fix N Mix Bowl that she always made bread dough in.

    One day, I asked her if I could have it when she died. I loved the memories of it and didn’t want her to throw it out at some point. She said sure.

    Of course, my spoiled little sister somehow heard about this and started howling about how unfair it was. For the most part, she isn’t too bad, but she is used to always getting her way, so I dug in and said she was a day late and a dollar short. Didn’t think much of it.

    Years and years later, I discovered that she was still bent out of shape about this. So much that my mother bought a second green bowl so we could each have one. She said I could have the new bowl right this minute if I just dropped my claim. I stood tall and said no way. I was getting the real deal bowl and Kid Sis could have the new imposter one.

    More years go by and Kid Sis’ nose is still out of joint. To be honest, I really didn’t care at that point, but being her big brother, I felt it was my duty to keep tweaking her about it.

    When Mom and Dad finally did pass, my sister and her friends had actually put together an entire Oceans 11 plot to make sure she got the original bowl. I graciously told them that they could have the bowl, but that they were absolutely crazy.

    To put a final point on things, I bought two more of those bowls on etsy (for way too much $$) so I ended up with 3 (one for each of the Altar Kids). For the next Thanksgiving dinner, I made 3 Bowl Salad. Same as 3 Bean Salad, except I only put one kind of bean in each bowl. You had to scoop out your own mixture. The sister didn’t think it was as funny as everyone else did.

    • cyto

      As someone who has dealt with such drama, I appreciate this

    • Tundra

      Families are awesome.

      I don’t want anything from my parents’ stuff except my dad’s guitars. I suppose I’ll have to go through the same shit.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Mrs OBE, being an only child, has no idea the lengths we go to to get our siblings worked up

    • PieInTheSky

      I say you should be buried with all 3 to confuse future archeologists

      • Tundra

        This is the correct answer.

      • Drake

        Like a pharaoh – with some organs in each bowl.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Must have religious significance. /Alien archeologist of the future

      • B.P.

        Why did this civilization take such great care to preserve so much canine feces in plastic?

    • Ted S.

      I thought this story was leading to a Swiss-level pun.

    • Pat

      I respect the game, but whatever small shred of sentimentality I once had got burned up decades ago, and my parents had to sell or give away anything of value they had anyway. Stuff is stuff. It’s a representation of the memories and the person at best, and you can keep those with or without the stuff.

    • PieInTheSky

      depends on your definition of “our” . If by “our” you mean the WEF crowd, maybe it is.

    • Drake

      The unspoken part – Uncle Sam is giving the illegal aliens being dumped on Republican towns so much money, they can afford cars.

      Your tax dollars at work.

      • Brochettaward

        They get everything. The Medicaid, the food stamps, the housing etc.

        It’s a sham. It’s partially corporate welfare and partially white replacement theory at work.

      • B.P.

        My town has innumerable cars driving around with no license plates, piloted by recently arrived Venezuelans. Law enforcement doesn’t seem to care.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Have they doubled Biden’s and Harris’ security details because somebody tried to take out Trump, yet?

    • cyto

      Well played.

      Reminder, Dems tried to remove Trump’s security detail.

    • invisible finger

      Why would Biden need security? He never leaves the bunker.

      • Nephilium

        This seems somehow pertinent to the discussion.

    • EvilSheldon

      CEP of ±10cm is not ‘indiscriminate’ by any standard that isn’t completely fucking retarded.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    John Paulson- What does that guy know about money or markets? He should let the real pros like Janet Yellin run things.

  26. The Other Kevin

    Good morning all! DEG stopped by the gym again today. So he didn’t overdose on mead this weekend at HH. He’ll be back online Monday to join in our craziness.

  27. PieInTheSky

    Let one among us who did no want to shoot a third grader now and then cast the fist blame on the teacher.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Show of force

    The U.S. military has moved about 130 soldiers along with mobile rocket launchers to a desolate island in the Aleutian chain of western Alaska amid a recent increase in Russian military planes and vessels approaching American territory.

    Eight Russian military planes and four navy vessels, including two submarines, have come close to Alaska in the past week as Russia and China conducted joint military drills. None of the planes breached U.S. airspace and a Pentagon spokesperson said Tuesday there was no cause for alarm.

    That’ll show ’em.

    • B.P.

      So we’re going to reenact the Battle of Attu Island, only the U.S. is going to play the part of the Japanese.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Sullivan called for a larger military presence in the Aleutians while advocating for the U.S. to respond with strength to Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping.

    “In the past two years, we’ve seen joint Russian-Chinese air and naval exercises off our shores and a Chinese spy balloon floating over our communities,” Sullivan said in a statement Tuesday. “These escalating incidents demonstrate the critical role the Arctic plays in great power competition between the U.S., Russia, and China.”

    Sullivan said the U.S. Navy should reopen its shuttered base at Adak, located in the Aleutians. Naval Air Facility Adak was closed in 1997.

    Sure. Why the hell not? We can afford it.

    • PieInTheSky

      Island life is good. I am sure military people would be eager to be stationed at Naval Air Facility Adak

      • Drake

        Sounds like a great place to spend the winter.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s already a McDonald’s. Just needs to be renovated.

    • The Other Kevin

      Isn’t that base where they gave Wolverine his adamantium claws?

    • creech

      I thought the Ukraine war was draining the Russians? Maybe they are draining us??

  30. PieInTheSky

    Deforestation is not unique to the modern world. Humans have been cutting down trees for millennia.

    Reforestation, however, is modern. Once countries reach a certain level of economic development, forests begin to rebound.

    https://x.com/HumanProgress/status/1835747492425531416

    • Pat

      Wild. So humans are able to adapt to new conditions based on scarcity and resource management? If we keep this up, we might just reach the apex of intelligent life on this planet.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    You gots to believe

    Voters want more from Kamala Harris.

    But while the Democratic nominee has been clear about what she is not — Donald Trump — she is either unwilling or unable to spell out a comprehensive blueprint for exactly what she would do as the 47th president.

    In an interview on Tuesday, the vice president mostly stuck to broad themes and headlines about her economic plan that were largely familiar from a previous big-picture policy speech and her convention address.

    But a candidate who has been criticized by opponents for running on “vibes” and surfing a wave of joy refused to be pinned down on specifics and details, instead citing her values and background to attest to her sincerity.

    You have to elect her first. Then She will reveal her plan to remake America.

    • kinnath

      saying anything of substance just complicates the fortification process.

    • B.P.

      “Voters want more from Kamala Harris.”

      It’s just ‘take, take, take’ with these people.

  32. ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

    Hey, Tundra, Brooks and other Autoglibs. I found a video of this yesterday, and now I NEED one: https://www.pembleton.co.uk/t24

    • Sean

      It’s all fun and games, until a Haitian crashes into you.

    • Tundra

      I love it! Looks great, sounds great and is less than 800lbs!

      Here’s a cool video.

    • bacon-magic

      That is a sweet ride.

    • Gustave Lytton

      You’re going to be spending a lot of money at John Helmer to properly outfit that thing. Go for it!

  33. PieInTheSky

    The 12 year old Southport rioter with ‘alcohol issues’ is sad but nothing new.

    In the year 1873, there were 353 children under 12 convicted of public drunkenness in Liverpool.

    The priest James Nugent observed a five-year-old girl having two gulps from a bottle of rum she was carrying home for her parents, and a 3-year-old getting served in a pub.

    A nine-year-old girl admitted to the Children’s Shelter had delirium tremens from withdrawal systems

    https://x.com/davidswift87/status/1836121593183113317

  34. The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

    “DeSantis: It’s not in ‘best interest’ to have federal agencies lead investigation of Trump assassination attempt”

    Stuff like this is why Desantis should have been the nominee. Trump never knew how to use his power to get stuff done.

    • R.J.

      He did not scale up well. Give him 4-8 years. He is a great state leader, but his organization was not structured to grow quickly to a national level. Also he, like Trump, tool bad advice initially.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        “He did not scale up well. Give him 4-8 years. He is a great state leader, but his organization was not structured to grow quickly to a national level.”

        I wish he had waited an election, but he is term limited and the term ends in the middle of the next presidency, so I can see why he went for it.

        You’re talking about electoral politics, I’m just saying he would be a better president.

        “Also he, like Trump, tool bad advice initially.”

        That’s true, but at least he was able to take a course reversal. Trump has all the power he needed to shit can Fauci, but never did squat.

      • R.J.

        Very true. And absolutely he would be the better president.

      • Drake

        Money – he has to change a lot of positions to satisfy the donors.

      • Pat

        You’re talking about electoral politics, I’m just saying he would be a better president.

        I’m not so sure. At the national level with a hostile congress, he’s not going to look as good as he does in Florida with his party controlling the state government and mostly backing his policies. My feeling is that he’d end up doing some Reagan-esque horse trading, by which I mean, capitulates to the Democrats and gets clowned on when nothing he negotiated for ever gets funded by congress or implemented by the executive bureaucracy. Which is a way bigger problem. Whatever political messiah you elect is going to run up against the same pushback Trump got, and I consider Trump pretty fucking milquetoast from a policy perspective. If they’re willing to go perjury and weaponized domestic spying over… what exactly? A few tax cuts and insufficient warmongering? Imagine what they’d do if the 2nd coming of Ron Paul ever got elected.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    A four wheeled Morgan. SWEET.

  36. PieInTheSky

    A prankster who dressed up as the Manchester Arena bomber Salman Abedi for Halloween now faces being locked up.

    Pictures posted by David Wootton show him wearing an Arabic-style headdress, with the slogan ‘I love Ariana Grande’ on his T-shirt, and carrying a rucksack with ‘Boom’ and ‘TNT’ written on the front.

    The disturbing Halloween costume which was captioned ‘bet I get kicked out of the party’ caused fury on social media, with his friends slamming the stunt.

    The 40-year-old was arrested and last week pleaded guilty to sending an offensive message online and faces up to two years in jail when he is sentenced on October 3.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13853797/Prankster-dressed-Manchester-Arena-bomber-Salman-Abedi-Halloween-prison.html

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      Well, if you can’t keep people safe from terrorists, at least protect their feefees.

    • R.J.

      Two years in prison. Absolutely retarded.

    • cyto

      This is where we are headed if we don’t turn back now.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Given the billion dollar judgement against Alex Jones, we’re not too far off as it is.

  37. The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

    “Trump, who signed SALT deduction cap into law, now vows to ‘get SALT back’”

    Are we at peak derp yet?

    Why would you promise to give a boon to your enemies?

    • R.J.

      He gave a quick sound bite without explanation. I think people are reading too much into it.

      • Urthona

        They are, but the unforced errors with this guy never stop.

      • R.J.

        Boy you know it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Should stick to covfefe.

      • Pat

        The reason the last assassin went for the head is because Trump shoots himself in the foot enough as it is.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    This all raises two key questions. Does it matter that Harris is hardly a policy wonk? And is it really likely that this most unusual of elections will turn on something as conventional as a policy platform?

    Harris is, after all, offering herself as a fleeting chance for Americans to escape the bitterness and division of the Trump years. Her success in triggering the former president in their debate was in service of her primary goal – exposing his wild behavior and showing that he’s unfit for the Oval Office.

    “Bitterness and division of the Trump years”? What the fuck are they talking about? A bunch of sore-loser whining from the Democrats?

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      Look, fat, Biden has united this country and ain’t no evil rethuglikkan super magas gonna stop this upwelling of joy and unity that Kamala will unleash.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        She is very Uppity, no?

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        Uh, no?

        But she is an evil cunt.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s Biden/Harris will unite. It’s not like they’ve been in office for the past 3.5years.

    • Brochettaward

      There’s always bitterness and divisiveness when Democrats lose. Don’t you know anything?

    • The Other Kevin

      This always reminds me of a Benny Hill skit. Benny was playing the maid of a movie star (in blackface of course). When asked a question about the star and his wife:

      “They was always cussin’ and feudin’ and fightin’. If it wasn’t me and him it was me and her.”

    • Rat on a train

      You will unify behind me our I will unleash the police state on you.

  39. Sensei

    As a former Jeep owner – it’s always a Stellantis’ product driver. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them being one of the lowest cost manufactuers.

    We are invisible
    https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInCars/comments/1fif70m/oc_we_are_invisible/

    What we need are some more automated safety systems and heavier and safer cars. Or we could just stop looking at the phone and actually pay attention.

    • kinnath

      Drive as though the other guy is out to kill you.

      • Sensei

        As a former motorcyclist I always do. It just gets really old day after day when you live in high traffic high congestion states.

      • kinnath

        I used to ride a bicycle everywhere. That informed how I drive.

    • Tundra

      Phones and/or ridiculously huge and poorly located A pillars.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        This happened to me once. Scary to realize you can lose a while car in your forward view because of ‘safety’.

      • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

        To be more clear- I have never crashed, but my a-pillar did completely block my view of a car and things got dicey.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep, didn’t see a car on a cross street the other day. Luckily the wife did. Now I get to hear it every time we go out.

    • Sean

      it’s always a Stellantis’ product driver

      It’s like you’ve never seen an Altima driver.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    That ‘idiots” clip reminds me of my near miss the other day.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Too soon. Except I had room to swing to the outside.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    The vice president is yet to give a major foreign policy address since becoming the Democratic nominee — a concern for voters who wonder how she’d lead the free world.

    Obama will take care of all that, after she makes him Secretary of State.

    • Rat on a train

      Don’t worry. She will continue the grift as long as possible.

    • PieInTheSky

      next wristwatches

      • Ownbestenemy

        Only Casio DBC-1A though.

  43. Ownbestenemy

    Now supposedly ‘explosives’ found near next Trump campaign speech location.

    This is all not going to end well is it?

    • Brochettaward

      It’s the government in 2024. You can’t reasonably expect them to knock off one guy successfully in three attempts, can you?

      • Drake

        At some point they might activate a competent idiot.

        If this guy had decent camo (not a salmon shirt) and had not hung his homemade body armor on a fence, Trump may well be dead now.

    • Tundra

      Link?

      • Tundra

        Thanks

      • The Other Kevin

        Wear your best body armor and put some sandbags around your house.

      • Sean

        I don’t have any sand bags. 🙁

    • invisible finger

      The MIC must not have a lot of confidence in their election fortification.

      If they or some individual succeeds in assasinating Trump, do they really think that will help Democrats get elected? Or is this 5D chess and the Dems will have to stage assasination attempts on Harris to regain the advantage?

    • Pat

      Was it yesterday or the day before that I predicted they’d do an Aloha Snackbar type thing if the tweedledumbshit Antifa “snipers” who’ve never fired a gun before couldn’t make something happen? To be fair, I figured they’d wait a little closer to election day, but perhaps they’re reading worse news in the tea leaves than expected.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    “Is the price of groceries still too high? Yes. Do we have more work to do? Yes. And I will tell you, I do believe that I offer a new generation of leadership for our country that is about, in particular, turning the page on an era that, sadly, has shown us attempts by some to incite fear, to create division in our country,” Harris said.

    Good grief, what bubbling stew of emptyheaded nonsense.

    Vote for me. I’m the smiley-face-sticker candidate!

  45. PieInTheSky

    How did a formerly respectable, once excellent publication focusing on high quality popularization of cutting edge scientific research turn into a cut rate political rag?

    Forget about the masthead. Let’s look at the people hiding behind it.

    First up: the editor in chief, Laura Helmuth.

    Helmuth is actually a scientist (PhD cognitive neuroscience), although she prefers to be known as a Woman In Science. From her bio, “She speaks frequently on … ways to use social media effectively and fight misinformation.”

    Scientific American isn’t Scientific American. It’s a skinsuit being worn by a cabal of overpromoted head girls and their housebroken soyboys, for whom science is only interesting insofar as it can be used to bolster propaganda imperatives for their side’s political goals – “sustainability”, “equity”, and so on. If those goals require “science” to be redefined as “supporting a cackling social-climbing prostitute with the verbal IQ of a parakeet”, then that’s what The Science means.

    There are 28 individuals listed in the SciAm pressroom. Of these, 17 are women, 10 are men, and 1 is a “they”.

    Ctl-F ‘physics’ yields 3 with physics degrees, of whom 1 has a PhD.

    Ctl-F ‘Ph.D.’ yields a whole 3 hits

    https://x.com/martianwyrdlord/status/1836291938070167565

    I mean I am not sure you need a PhD to write for some magazine.

    • trshmnstr

      Scientific journalism was a mess before the wokening. They skinsuited an increasingly irrelevant apparatus

    • kinnath

      Puppy has that face you see just before you club a seal.

    • The Other Kevin

      If I were an electronic, I’d stay away from Trump.

    • slumbrew

      world-class trolling

    • Pat

      Based

  46. The Late P Brooks

    At some point they might activate a competent idiot.

    It seems as if the country is knee deep in “former special ops” guys. But apparently all they can come up with is delusional halfwit video gamers.

    • EvilSheldon

      Even discounting the fact that .mil and ex-.mil leans pretty hard to the right*, all of these dudes are going to understand that a direct action hit on a high-value target is probably not something you can pull off as a solo act. Not if you plan to get away clean to enjoy your retirement on a beach in Fiji.

      That pretty much leaves the delusional and the fantasy-prone.

      * – At least the ones with an occupational specialty that would be useful for such work.

      • trshmnstr

        I’m surprised we have only seen Oswald style sniper attacks, especially from Mr. Ukraine. Isn’t the battlefield over there proving the lethality of bomb drones time and time again?

      • EvilSheldon

        I think that battlefield effectiveness doesn’t necessarily translate to assassination effectiveness.

        Also, lack of access to useful HE material, and lack of technical acumen among the aforementioned delusional and fantasy-prone.

      • trshmnstr

        Also, lack of access to useful HE material, and lack of technical acumen among the aforementioned delusional and fantasy-prone.

        Uncle Ted, Tim McVeigh, and those brothers in Boston have something to say about that. I get that it’s easier to target randos than somebody under SS guard, but I’m still surprised that the only kind of attempt being made is the sniper style.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Because the idiot courts will block AZ from checking citizenship for federal elections.

      It’s total bullshit. Any judge who issues these sorts of rulings should be immediately arrested as a no shit traitor

  47. PieInTheSky

    Dave Hale – Concerned Republican
    @CountryFirstRep
    I’m a socially-conservative Catholic.

    I’m a gun owner.

    I’m a Republican, and a proud American.

    I won’t be complicit in the destruction of our Constitution, just because a candidate has an R next to his name.

    Harris must win.

    Anybody out there like me? #RepublicansForHarris

    https://x.com/CountryFirstRep/status/1835872192644440119

    • EvilSheldon

      “Anybody out there like me? #RepublicansForHarris”

      What, a deluded midwit? Or a bad liar?

      Either way, TwiX is full of them.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It’s engagement farming for a hit of dopamine

      • EvilSheldon

        You know, upon further reflection, I’m a bit surprised we’re not seeing more of this. Maybe the #RepublicansForHarris are ashamed enough that they’re keeping it to themselves?

        But this whole trope fits so perfectly with the characteristic GOP sub-bottom desire to write a noble, eloquent, statesmanlike conciliation speech…

    • Tundra
    • Sean

      #Backpfeifengesicht

    • trshmnstr

      Concerned

      Yeah, this is bullshit. Nobody on the right uses the term “concerned” as an adjective. That’s a leftist thing.

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      “I’m a socially-conservative Catholic.”

      Them hope could you approve of a candidate that supports and approves of the murder of a million children every year?

      What an asshole.

      • Nephilium

        Salad bar Catholicism.

      • rhywun

        I’m thinking “fake”.

        The left might be stupid enough to miss that point.

    • Pat

      Jesus Christ, if you’re going to concern troll, avoid using the fucking name of your strategy right in your title…

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Not if you plan to get away clean to enjoy your retirement on a beach in Fiji.

    That’s what the delusional video gamer is for.

  49. Common Tater

    “California Gov. Gavin Newsom has signed a first-of-its-kind “deepfake” law after conservatives created a powerful and hilarious parody video mocking Kamala Harris’s candidacy.

    In a post on the X platform, Newsom confirmed that he had signed the bill after Elon Musk shared the anti-Kamala video using an altered version of her voice.”

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2024/09/do-not-share-this-californias-gavin-newsom-just/

    As soon as the law goes into effect, real videos they don’t like will be flagged as fake.

    • Urthona

      Except it’s unconstitutional so….

      • kinnath

        It’s in effect until SCOTUS slaps it down. Then a new version comes out. See gun laws.

    • The Artist Formerly Known as Lackadaisical

      See also: ‘cheap fakes’ of Biden being a dotard.

      Wondering if the supremes will smack this down or what?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Now it is twenty twenty four
      Knock-knock at your front door
      It’s the misinfo secret police
      They have caught you posting memes

      • EvilSheldon

        I’m casting Raise Thread here, because that was just awesome!

  50. The Late P Brooks

    I won’t be complicit in the destruction of our Constitution, just because a candidate has an R next to his name.

    That ship flew the coop a long time ago, pal.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Wondering if the supremes will smack this down or what?

    It will take decades to find a plaintiff with standing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Or until they need to deploy against an up and coming electoral threat to their grip on power

  52. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    Carrying forward from last night’s post about fat acceptance being a reaction to the previous ideal, I wonder if some of the trans stuff among girls is driven by the prevalence of the princess stuff and girls wear pink pink pink in recent decades.

    • Pat

      If I were to venture a theory, I’d say it’s more likely related to the shaming of girls for taking an interest in stereotypical/classically feminine things, or choosing stereotypically feminine career paths, which took place as the 2nd wave feminist “Women can do anything a man can do” sloganeering gave way to the 3rd wave feminist “Women must do everything a man does” ethos.

  53. Spartacus

    Looks like nobody is going to mention the elephant in the room…why is that fish giving a bowtied cat a beej?