211 Comments

  1. cavalier973

    Competitors like Burger King and Wendy’s have also rolled out similar bargains that come with fries, but Werner said people are just not buying fries like they used to.

    “It’s important to note that many of these promotional meal deals have consumers trading down from a medium fry to a small fry,” the CEO told Fox Business.

    When the fries at McD’s are cooked right, they are excellent. They can’t seem to be consistent, anymore. Sometimes they are hard and dry, sometimes they are barely cooked.

    • Ownbestenemy

      They can’t seem to be consistent, anymore

      Which defeats the purpose of their model. Whether in Maine or California, you’re supposed to be getting the same food. Same goes for nearly every chain restaurant right now for the past couple of decades.

      • SDF-7

        Yeah — and for McD’s especially, it is puzzling. I thought they had the fry cutting standardized since the ’50s — and given I’ve always seen the oil fryers look like they have temp alarms, timer alarms, etc. for as long as I’ve been alive — and the current abilities of automation, you’d think it would be 100% mechanized once you get them cut.

        Should be — feed the hopper, hopper drops into the oil kept at the right temp, basket comes up to take them out and dump them in the waiting bin, salt spray applied, etc.

        Especially since in the long run that is probably cheaper than the $25+/hr plus whatever-else-we-can-think-of in Sacramento for a human….

      • Not Adahn

        The state of the potato crop makes a huge difference. The best fries anywhere were at this crepe place downtown, but they always took a nosedive in quality right before track season. A new owner took over and this did not happen, I commented on this and he comped my meal for noticing. He was buying a larger potato supply earlier in the season and paying for whatever storage is required to keep them in good fry condition. I would have thought McD would be large enough to swing the same thing but maybe there’s literally not enough potatoes harvested at the right time?

      • The Last American Hero

        At some point they went to “locally sourced”. Maybe, just maybe, potatoes grown in place A are tastier and better for fries than place B.

    • cavalier973

      Sonic has started offering crinkle-cut fries, as has Arby’s.

      I like Arby’s new fries. I don’t like the spiced curly fries at Arby’s and never have.

      Wendy’s fries, in the old days, were good. I don’t like them, now.

      • Ownbestenemy

        All ya’ll haters of In-N-Out can suck it…they consistently give you soggy oil filled fries that you must eat in 5 seconds from ordering for them to be tasty.

      • SDF-7

        I like Wendy’s fries now in principle — but the ones I’ve gone too tend to way over salt them.

        Arby’s curly fries are great… but I’m not going to fight anyone over it.

        In-N-Out has sucked everytime I’ve gone… I’m sure I’m not “ordering right” or eating them at the counter for optimum freshness or whatnot.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its one of those if you grew up on them, you like them. If you have never had a properly double-fried French fry, then you’d think they were awesome. Yes you need to eat them immediately otherwise they become a starchy mess. Not crispy, limp, but hey, not freeze dried! I joke that they are good. They were when I was a kid and didn’t know better.

      • Pat

        I’m the biggest In-N-Out fanboy there is, but I will freely admit the fries are garbo.

        McDonald’s fries took a shit when I was around 12 years old and haven’t recovered since.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        The only time I’ve been to In N Out I thought the fries were a McDonalds dupe.

      • trshmnstr

        they consistently give you soggy oil filled fries that you must eat in 5 seconds from ordering for them to be tasty.

        A buddy of mine used to be an In N out manager. He explained why their fries are so awful. They single fry them while everybody else double fries them.

    • Not Adahn

      Whataburger fries are undercooked by default. Fortunately, you can ask for them to be extra crispy.

      I did enjoy the fries from chains I tried in AL (Culvers, Freddy’s)

    • Drake

      That darn RFK told everyone what they were being fried in. Tallow or lard would be much better.

    • rhywun

      The largest North American producer of french fries is shutting down its plant in Washington and laying off hundreds of employees

      😨 The same company makes the best frozen fries I can find at the supermarket.

      • Sensei

        They have multiple US plants. I just checked.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I figured. Whew.

      • The Last American Hero

        Those plants probably don’t have $17/hr minimum wage, which is totally gonna be a boon for unskilled labor.

    • Aloysious

      FF fries are palatable.

      Mine are better. Crispy, soft in the middle, with parsley and lots of garlic, freshly ground pepper, a dusting of rosemary, and Pecorino Romano to taste.

      I am starving.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Hopefully President Harris can bring her experience as a McDonald’s employee to bear on this issue.

  2. SDF-7

    Biden gave Harris many chances to prove herself: Here’s how she performed

    Personally, I think she performed up to the highest standards of the Biden Administration.

    Morning, all. Morning, Banjos — thanks for the links.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I think that performance is what drove Trump officials to now agree to a second debate. She was given ample opportunity to get some policy of her own and what she would have done different and instead kept latched onto Biden. No reason to engage when the enemy is already shooting themselves in the foot.

      • Ownbestenemy

        *not*

      • Rat on a train

        With the current state of moderation I wouldn’t agree to a debate either.

      • The Other Kevin

        That was a smart move by Trump. He’d be throwing her a lifeline.

        Although, it would be epic to see a debate moderated by Matt Taibbi and Walter Kirn, or even those All In Podcast guys.

      • Drake

        Greg Gutfeld or forget it.

      • creech

        I’ve already heard this morning that “Trump is a coward for not debating her again, specially on Fox where Trump will get softball questions.”

  3. Sean

    Could it be that people are wizened up to eating less junk food?

    Doubtful.

    Bidenomics it is then.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Until we use a different measure from BMI, I question the obesity numbers.

      • Rat on a train

        BRI?

      • Pat

        Meh, while BMI isn’t necessarily perfect, it’s a baseline, and an anecdotal look around makes me suspect the average isn’t ticking up because so many Americans are packing on such dense muscle mass.

      • rhywun

        BRI?

        Assume a spherical belly….

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Meh, while BMI isn’t necessarily perfect, it’s a baseline, and an anecdotal look around makes me suspect the average isn’t ticking up because so many Americans are packing on such dense muscle mass.

        100% this. Unless you look like the Rock, BMI is probably accurately saying you are a fatty.

      • juris imprudent

        No BMI is not accurate. Yeah, I’m overweight now, but when I was in prime condition at 175 pounds, BMI said I was just into being overweight. Muscular and in great cardio (resting pulse low 50s) but not built like a bodybuilder.

        BMI makes East African distance runners the ideal.

      • CPRM

        You don’t have to be yoked for it to get out of whack. I remember once checking what Aaron Rodgers’ BMI was, and he was either obese or right on the edge.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        How tall are you? What was your bf %?

        I remember once checking what Aaron Rodgers’ BMI was, and he was either obese or right on the edge.

        Aaron Rodgers is not known for having some enviable physique, but yeah, I was kind of suggesting elite athletes might break the BMI mold.

    • Grummun

      That’s’ funny. Someone posted an article the other day showing a plot that had obesity peaking in 2019 and trending down. I can’t be arsed to find it again. I’m sure it’s all about picking the right numbers.

      • SDF-7

        Pressure from the Oval Office on the reporting — always telling folks to “Look, fat!” after all….

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Covid killed a lot of the obese, ozempic is helping slim down the rich white women. It probably has dropped slightly.

  4. SDF-7

    The national debt is climbing rapidly and shows no signs of slowing down

    Can’t imagine why…. Fuck you, cut spending has never been more applicable — and that ought to be the response to all the “fair share” bullshitters. Revenues are always up… but spending is always up more. Stealing everything from everyone wouldn’t be enough for these leeches.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Why stop now. Voting trends show its acceptable and the public wants MORE, not less.

      • SDF-7

        Given where I live — if I can’t rant about the rest of the electorate making stupid-ass decisions… what can I do in election season?

      • juris imprudent

        Exactly – the populist right has no problem with more govt, after all, we need it to counter the left!!!

      • rhywun

        And billionaires pay less taxes than I do – I learned it from Kamala’s latest commercial. Imagine the good we could accomplish if they paid their fair share.

      • creech

        Given what a typical annual income would be for a billionaire, and the graduated tax rates, how can a billionaire pay less in taxes than a middle class wage earner? Even if all the billionaire’s income was realized capital gains and qualified dividends , it would have to be many times more than the bogus wage earner Harris put in her ad.

      • Nephilium

        creech:

        It may be possible if they have their holdings in a trust, and borrow against the trust. But I’m not an accountant, lawyer, or a b/millionaire.

      • Rat on a train

        “tax loans as income”
        No, but if you are do it for everyone, including student loans.

    • Rat on a train

      That nearly 50% spike in emergency spending set a new baseline.

    • Sensei

      CPI at 8:30 this AM.

      Which will be “revised” up later and as usual only the business press picks up on the upward revision.

      • Sensei

        10bps above consensus.

      • Rat on a train

        And in reverse, GDP will be revised down. See also jobs and unemployment numbers.

    • Pat

      Revenues are always up… but spending is always up more.

      The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy. Cutting the rate of growth in the budget from 8% to 5% would necessitate doing away with our military and letting Putin personally come rape our children. You’re not a Putin child rape enabler are you?

      • Rat on a train

        Some agency was calling for an exemption to the continuing resolution because without an increase in budget they would have to drastically cut service.

      • juris imprudent

        drastically cut service

        How dare they threaten us with a good result!

      • DrOtto

        You left out what it would do to Medicare and social security.

  5. SDF-7

    Limp Bizkit sues Universal Music Group for $200 million, alleging years of unpaid royalties

    Eh — I’m sure UMG expects them to cave. Not like they’re “Rock Hard Bizkit” after all.

    • Not Adahn

      “Steely Bizkit.”

    • Pat

      And here I thought they did it all for the nookie. Turns out they’re just money grubbers.

      • Not Adahn

        “First you get the money…”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Gemini does a decent job of some baseline lyrics

        Verse 1:
        We signed a deal, a contract, a mess
        Thought we’d be rich, no stress
        But now we’re broke, feeling the squeeze
        Universal’s got us on our knees

        Chorus:
        Did it all for the money, yeah
        Signed our lives away, it’s a tragedy
        Now we’re fighting for our rights
        Universal’s playing dirty, it ain’t right

        Verse 2:
        We toured the world, played every show
        But our pockets are still empty, you know
        They promised us riches, fame, and glory
        But now we’re just feeling sorry

      • SDF-7

        Given the “write what you know” phenomenon — I’m sure there’s no shortage of songs about crappy recording deals.

      • rhywun

        I’m sure there’s no shortage of songs about crappy recording deals.

        I can think of several off the top of my head – The Smiths had one, Barenaked Ladies had one, one or two others….

      • juris imprudent

        no shortage of songs about crappy recording deals

        You pretty much can’t buy a Van Morrison album without one.

    • Suthenboy

      I am tempted to think a lot of people in the entertainment business have poor judgement before and after they have money.

    • creech

      Phillies fans (and probably fans in a few other cities) should be suing to get their ticket funds back after being promised a hell of a lot more from obscenely-paid “super stars.”

      • rhywun

        Sports money is nuts.

        The Rangers goalie just rejected $11M a year and hockey players are poor by baseball standards.

  6. rhywun

    The Biden administration paroled 77,000 Afghans into the U.S. after the catastrophic exit from the country.

    Was there ever any reason given for this…?

    • Not Adahn

      They were translators who gave their lives in sacrifice to liberate their country from the Taliban. Or something.

      • rhywun

        And I didn’t believe that for a second.

    • SDF-7

      My absolutely most generous take is that there was a lot of clamor about getting out Afghans who’d worked with our troops (translators, trainers, etc.) instead of leaving them and their families in the lurch.

      And (in keeping with their Kamala-level standards), they took this as a sign they needed to Do Something ™ visibly… which means they couldn’t waste time on little things like who killed who or checking credentials….

  7. Sensei

    The piece claims that Bridgewater under Mr. McCormick shorted the stocks of roughly four dozen companies headquartered in Pennsylvania, including Hershey Co., U.S. Steel, Comcast and Penn National Gaming. Short-selling is when an investor borrows a security and then sells it with the intent of buying it back at a lower price.

    So the guy did exactly what he said he was doing and what clients wanted him to do. Got it.

    https://www.wsj.com/opinion/cnn-dave-mccormick-bridgewater-short-selling-pennsylvania-senate-bob-casey-b28f5109?st=6Tx9eu&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    • juris imprudent

      I’m no fan of McCormick, but I’ll vote for him given the way Casey has slandered him.

      • Sensei

        It would be tough to be a fan of anybody that was in senior management at Bridgewater.

        Being an absolute a** is a job requirement there. You don’t invest with them because they are nice people. You invest based on their results.

      • creech

        I’m hoping McCormick wins and is a shrewd enough financial asshole to rein in inflation and spending. Knows more about how to do it than some lawyers or schmuck like Sen. Casey, but odds on the GOP doing more than dragging an anchor are slim to none.

      • juris imprudent

        Oh I have no illusions about McCormick – he’ll be another Romney Republican establishment dick, best suited for fucking the taxpayer.

    • PieInTheSky

      I mean short selling is perfectly legitimate trading.

      • DrOtto

        It is, but it’s also the equivalent of playing the “Do not pass” line in craps. It’s a dick move.

      • PutridMeat

        It’s a dick move.

        Why?

      • juris imprudent

        Because you are betting with the house instead of against it?

  8. PieInTheSky

    I have to go to a wedding and being a fatty fat fat goddamnit I need to lose 25 pounds the only pants and shirt I have that fit well are both shades of navy. The question is can one wear navy pants and navy shirt with eventually brown shoes and a lighter jacket?

    • Not Adahn

      What colors are the jewels on your KGC star?

    • Nephilium

      I’m pretty much passed the time of getting invited to weddings. People are more lenient about not wearing a suit to a funeral, since they usually don’t have as much notice.

      • PieInTheSky

        In Romania where the wedding gift is a large sum of cash you are never past getting invited.

        You first get invited to friends weddings, then to friends kids weddings.

      • Nephilium

        Getting invited to friends’ kids weddings? That is not a custom I’m familiar with here. Hell, I don’t think my sister even invited all of the cousins to her wedding, let alone family friends.

      • PieInTheSky

        well this is why your weddings bring in less profit than Romanian weddings. Though over lifetime you end up spending a good chunk of that profit on other weddings. SO it is a mostly zero sum game by the time you are dead. But you do get some cash upfront when you get married and pay it back over time.

      • Pine_Tree

        Most of the weddings we have nowadays are “kids” who grew up with ours, so they also fit into the category of “friends’ kids” or “kids’ friends”. Got one in about a week and a half.

      • Evan from Evansville

        @Pie & all: I went to several weddings in Korea. There, ya Sign the Registry when ya walk in and give you ‘present,’ which is a stack of money. This is done in front of the bride’s family, seated at the table. You sign your name and how much you gave.

        This list of names and Gif$s are visible to all other attendees and their families. It, is fucked. All weiguks joked about it. Koreans? Acceptance.
        ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • Pine_Tree

        Just to be blunt about it, the idea of giving money as a wedding gift – ESPECIALLY when it’s public/known/visible is one of the trashiest things I can imagine. I didn’t know the Korean thing you’re describing, but I have seen some pix over the years of brides with cash pinned all over their wedding dresses and even as a kid it struck me as particularly terrible.

        There are a few cultural indicators out there that just scream “this culture looks OK in normal situations but some of their seldom-seen manifestations signal that something’s severely wrong inside”, and this is way up on the list.

      • Nephilium

        Pine_Tree:

        The dollar dance thing was just popping up at some of the weddings ~15 years back. Seemed to be tied to a cultural divide that I’m not sure the best way to phrase. Not exactly trashy, but more accustomed to loutish behavior.

      • PutridMeat

        the idea of giving money as a wedding gift….is one of the trashiest things I can imagine.

        Strange – it always struck me as pretty sensible, especially if it’s a long standing tradition, e.g. developed more than a couple of decades ago. New couple going off on their own, going to build a new family in the community, young so not in optimal earning years, will be less dependent on their families. Seems sensible to give them a starting nest egg that will allow a more seamless transition to an independent life that will be a boon to the wider community. Of course one needs cultural constraints against frivolous consumption and an already fairly robust sense of responsibility and self-reliance for it to work that way; perhaps in a culture that has pitched those values overboard, it becomes trashy (in a bad way, not the good way of trshmnstr)

      • trshmnstr

        Not exactly trashy, but more accustomed to loutish behavior.

        That was the case with my FIL in a few instances. He put out a “dollar tree” at a family gathering after my SIL quit her job to “help them out in this hard time”. Yeah, they had a vacation to Turkey booked the next week and we were slumming it in our Dave Ramsey “rice and beans” phase. We weren’t gonna be paying SIL for bailing on a job before she had her ducks in a row.

        Similarly he tried to set one of those dollar trees up when we moved to MO. I put the kibosh on that. “We’re not asking people who make half as much as us to contribute to our moving fund.”

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’m mostly with his Putrid -ness. Money for newlyweds makes perfect sense. Even now, I want cash for my bday/etc. I don’t need *things.* I need financial balance to offset shit and work up. Money so the new couple can help start a family is sensible.

        Making it *visible* so other families can see how much each person/family gave to the newlyweds? Another way of Keeping up with the Kims? Social primates gonna be social, but that’s culturally fucked to me. I ain’t gonna stop it, but I also ain’t gonna contribute. I didn’t know the families well, and (most) their husbands (and one wife) I played in bands with. My drumming was its own service to us all! I also was poor. I gots kneads, twos, ya nose. Me smarty.

        The idea of signing the amount of money you deposited in the basket in your envelope, in front of the bride’s family, all kinda-staring at you (not so much me, as a foreigner), is haunting. I’m luckily thrilled I never got the full Korean scorning treatment there, which I’m sure occurs, one way or another. Humans tend to remember. Especially money.

      • Pine_Tree

        Helping newlyweds out is of course fine and normal. In the old days it might have been a milk cow, and today it might be getting the pantry outfitted. But if you give money, you do it IN SECRET.

      • Not Adahn

        The Vietnamese wedding I was invited was similar to that. The explanation was that the weddings were expensive and elaborate (can confirm) and paid for directly by the couple (the groom had been working insane amounts of overtime prior, so also probable).

      • Evan from Evansville

        @Putrid: “But if you give money [to newlyweds], you do it IN SECRET.”
        You and I, two horses in harness on this.

        I’m also a non-strutter. I wouldn’t flip my bat after an important homer and flip my bat (never hit one IRL). Just a normal trot like that’s to be expected.
        MY Iron Rule: Never underestimate the Power of being underestimated. (Time to act on that right fast, myself. Gears shiftin’.)

      • PieInTheSky

        the problem is I am trying to lose some weight and in mi mind I want to go shopping afterwards though this may never happen.

      • R.J.

        +1 potato sack pants

        If you are tremendously successful you will at least need to upgrade lower body wardrobe.

    • Pat

      Shoes and belt should match. Socks and pants should match. Past that nothing really matters. Although navy shirt and navy pants is a little monochromatic, even with a lighter jacket. Unless, of course, you’re breaking it up with a vest.

    • Rat on a train

      tuxedo with cape is the only option

    • The Last American Hero

      Some guys on the morning radio show tried that weight loss breakfast drink. They each lost about 10 pounds pretty quickly, but spent a lot of time on the toilet.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I was able to get my suits altered to let out the pants, because somehow in the past 20-25 years all my clothes shrank.

  9. PieInTheSky

    Noor ☭ Jar Jar Drinks 🔻
    @LezbollahMothra
    Being picky isn’t a moral evil & the way this fuckass website treats picky eaters (whether ND or not) is flat out rude & weird. It literally does not affect anyone if someone wants to only have 5 things.

    https://x.com/LezbollahMothra/status/1843757282666168326

    what is the correct commie opinion on picky eatin, or are the commies split on this one as on most things?

    • R C Dean

      Doesn’t affect anyone as long as they aren’t cooking for you, you aren’t cooking for them, or you don’t have to sit through their deconstruction of the menu offerings at a restaurant.

    • rhywun

      Good grief they are such miserable people.

      • juris imprudent

        Too much misery just for themselves, so everyone else must share in it.

    • Pat

      *checks high school transcripts*
      *checks liquor cabinet*

      Seems to check out.

      • rhywun

        inorite?

    • Evan from Evansville

      Young people with lots of thoughts, energy, take up a fun pastime that adds fun (for a while) and puts a blanket on all those wandering, inescapable thoughts.

      See also: Adderall and other focus-based Rxs. I was in primo time-estate for ADHD drugs and legit shoulda got ’em. They are fairly game-changing now that I have them as an adult. Being human ain’t easy. Whoddathunk?

    • Rat on a train

      “We don’t tolerate intolerance.”

    • rhywun

      Good grief they are such miserable people.

    • The Other Kevin

      This is what scares me about the election. If Trump “officially” wins (which I’m not sure will happen), Dems from the top to the bottom will go even more psycho.

      • PieInTheSky

        maybe this time they will move to Canada and it will no longer be your problem. Then you will deport all the migrants and turn the women into handmaidens or something.

      • The Other Kevin

        That Handmaids Tale thing is starting to sound good.

      • Rat on a train

        Pie, don’t forget about putting all the gays in camps and blacks in chains.

    • DrOtto

      Not all heroes wear capes – she saved democracy!

    • R C Dean

      If that was my Trump sign, there would be 20 more in my yard the next day.

      • trshmnstr

        Smeared with that oil from poison ivy plants.

      • R.J.

        Heck yes

    • creech

      Down here in Chester County, the “next door neighbor” type sites only seem to have reports of stolen Harris signs.
      Seems only MAGA redneck vandals take what isn’t theirs, according to progs who wouldn’t never think of taking what wasn’t theirs!

    • Tundra

      I would say shameless.

      Did that story about a Blackhawk fucking up a volunteer site with prop wash turn out to be real?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yes. NC Guard. They are claiming were looking for place to land to deliver supplies. CajunArmy claims they demanded no helicopter shipments to that site. Asked a former Blackhawk pilot and he just didn’t have enough information.

        In a proper world, CB radio would have solved all this. Military jump on a freq that all efforts would be on to coordinate so you’d know where you can and cannot land.

      • Drake

        Somebody said it was a CT National Guard aircraft. Similar event with a Chinook.

      • Sensei

        Ownbestenemy – interesting . Claims that the transponder was off.

        Do you have an easy way to check that?

  10. PieInTheSky

    For the first time ever, World of Warcraft will be featured during a national election, as the Kamala Harris campaign for president hosts content creator and Mage guide writer @Preheatwow
    during a rally tonight in Arizona.

    https://x.com/Wowhead/status/1844169329379815432

    a lot of war craft seems needed these turbulent days

    • Ownbestenemy

      Gotta get the neckbears wrapped up I guess.

    • rhywun

      She is so hip and with it I can’t even.

      • Nephilium

        Yeah, a game that peaked what… ~20 years ago?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Eh…they went back through the classics and sucked back in the 35-50 year old gamers.

      • Not Adahn

        I almost started that game back up. Fortunately, Battletech got its hooks into me first.

    • Grummun

      How is a game about killing monsters and taking their stuff relevant to a presidential election?

      This is probably my short memory, but I blame Bill Clinton playing sax on TV for the decline in at least pretending presidential elections are serious events to be treated with due gravity.

      • juris imprudent

        How is a game about killing monsters and taking their stuff relevant to a presidential election?

        How can you even ask? Killing monsters == stopping Trump!

        Taking their stuff == wealth tax bitches!

      • Rat on a train

        “boxers or briefs?”

      • Evan from Evansville

        UCS: Easy ‘line,’ but hella hard to stick that landing.

        Often far too much meandering on the journey there, with potential for further Acts if necessary: “The End” as a pit stop.

  11. The Other Kevin

    Hope all the Florida Glibs are ok. Last night I realized anyone with a talk show or a decent Twitter following lives in Florida.

    My sister and her girls are fine, they didn’t lose power but there were some scary winds during the night. The tornadoes hit her town but she got lucky and her house is fine. I saw a video of a reverse storm surge, in which Tampa Bay was completely drained. It was dark and hard to see, but I wonder if there are any better photos of that.

    • R C Dean

      I saw that video. Had no idea that was even a thing.

      • The Other Kevin

        I keep telling my wife we need to get to Florida. There’s got to be pirate treasure washed up somewhere.

      • Shpip

        Had no idea that was even a thing.

        The mechanics of storm surge, plus the extremely high winds coming from the northeast. Same thing happened during Ian in 2022.

        There’s got to be pirate treasure washed up somewhere.

        Best we can do is a fuckton of fossilized shark teeth on Sanibel. Bring your beach wheelchair.

    • Drake

      My BIL lives inland from Tampa. He’s fine, just a lot clean up to do.

      • Sensei

        Are his lights on?

      • Drake

        No – they have a generator going.

    • Tundra

      The same type of person who will pet bison. Tards.

      • Fourscore

        She obviously couldn’t conceal carry.

    • KSuellington

      Wow, she got incredibly lucky there.

  12. Sensei

    Strange things are afoot…

    Circle K Owner Makes Fresh Attempt to Acquire 7-Eleven Parent
    In early September, Seven & i rejected Couche-Tard’s previous offer to acquire the company

    https://www.wsj.com/business/circle-k-owner-makes-fresh-attempt-to-acquire-7-eleven-parent-b2ce332e?st=mNve6L&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

    It’s been fun contrasting this Japan’s spin on Nippon Steel and US Steel. 7-Eleven is beloved there and quite important for day to day stuff for many. So it’s also become a matter of “national interest”.

    • rhywun

      Ugh there is a 7-11 on my corner and it’s a dump. They don’t even sell milk. Every time I try they say “it’s sold out”.

      • Sensei

        The US and Japanese versions may as well be on different planets.

        They are essentially decoupled at this point.

    • R.J.

      First of all, how is Couche-Tard a viable company name?
      And even more important, where is the petition to rebrand Circle K’s as Tard Stores?

      • Not Adahn

        It’s froggish.

    • Evan from Evansville

      7/11 in Korea/Japan/Asia is a godsend. If ya can’t find one (or a GS25/CU) within 200ft, you’ve gone out of your way to avoid them.

      24/7/365.25. Standard fare, decent snacks, drinks, OTC, beer+soju (no time restrictions) around the corner in all haunts. Truly, the bodega I imagine in NYC. (I was there in ’03 when WTC was still two vacant holes. Don’t remember bodega shoppin’, but from what I see, same-same.) A legit cultural institution and need.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    French fries- never eat ’em. I go to Freddy’s once in a while because they have good onion rings.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    How is a game about killing monsters and taking their stuff relevant to a presidential election?

    It’s an allegory for the noble heroes of the revolution who want to kill the rich and take their stuff.

  15. rhywun

    LOL South Park goth kids vs emos is on.

    I only first saw this one recently because I stopped watching SP like 15 years ago.

  16. Brochettaward

    HERE’S FIRST IN YOUR EYE!

  17. Brochettaward

    I’ve yet to receive one thank you for my epic Firsting that defeated Milton. In my benevolence, I saved the world of the seconders, the destruction of which will have to wait until The First That Shall Change Everything.

    • Brochettaward

      The sea was angry. I was First. The First won.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Vox is on the case

    The term “climate haven” never made much sense. After Hurricane Helene dumped two feet of rain on western North Carolina, many major media outlets marveled at how Asheville, which had been celebrated as a climate haven, had been devastated by a climate-related disaster.

    Some in the media later reported accurately that climate havens don’t actually exist. But that still raises the question: Where did this climate haven concept even come from?

    Well before humans began putting billions of tons of greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere, entire populations would migrate toward better conditions in search of a place with milder weather or more fertile soil or the absence of drought.

    Because of its speed and scale, however, human-caused climate change is especially extreme, and everywhere will be impacted by some degree of risk. There is no completely safe haven.

    The climate bogeyman is coming for you, AND THERE’S NO PLACE TO HIDE!

    What kind of idiot believes in “climate havens”? The kind wo believe sort of paranoid Chicken Little nonsense Vox specializes in.

    • Brochettaward

      Should have had a Firster there. Hurricanes run like little bitches.

      • R.J.

        Indeed. Glad you made it through another one unscathed.

    • rhywun

      Where did this climate haven concept even come from?

      Virtue signaling leftists? Like, the kind of people who write for and read Vox?

    • Shpip

      But that still raises the question: Where did this climate haven concept even come from?

      Kudos for using the phrase “raises the question” instead of the standard midwit misusage “begs the question.”

      “Climate haven” seems to mean “mild weather all the time.” Of course, if you live in a valley next to a river, you get flooding whenever there’s really heavy rain up in the mountains. Which, fortunately for Asheville, has only happened three times in the last 108 years. Unfortunately for Asheville, three times per century does not mean never.

    • Grumbletarian

      Pretty sure the Moon is a climate haven.

    • KSuellington

      The Aztecs also wanted a climate haven, instead of the drought that had persisted for years that was a direct result of their not ripping the hearts out of enough people on a stone alter at the top of a temple.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    At least he didn’t try to grab any of them by the pussy

    Donald Trump, who in recent months has tried to brand himself as a champion for women, went on a tirade against Kamala Harris and the hosts of “The View” on Tuesday, insulting the women in personal terms and mocking their intelligence.

    In a post on Truth Social responding to Harris’ interview on the daytime talk show, Trump called his Democratic opponent a “dummy” and referred to the hosts as “degenerates” and “dumb women.” He railed against Harris for saying that she would not have done anything different than President Joe Biden in his term, calling it “her dumbest answer so far.”

    Trump’s attacks on Harris and the hosts of “The View” are especially notable in light of his recent attempts to win over female voters, a crucial and diverse voting bloc. (Harris continues to poll better among women than Trump, which may be due in part to a recent leftward shift among younger women in America.) He has tried to cast himself as a champion of women’s rights and a “protector” of women, who he says feel “abandoned” and “lonely.”

    Maybe a significant segment of those diverse women agree with Trump.

      • rhywun

        Saw a clip of it – if anything, Trump’s characterization is too kind.

      • The Other Kevin

        Just seeing clips, I’d say it’s like that but the women think they’re well informed because they listen to NPR.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      In a post on Truth Social responding to Harris’ interview on the daytime talk show, Trump called his Democratic opponent a “dummy” and referred to the hosts as “degenerates” and “dumb women.” He railed against Harris for saying that she would not have done anything different than President Joe Biden in his term, calling it “her dumbest answer so far.”

      They accuse the guy of lying all the time, then get mad at him when he tells the truth.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    It’s a mystery

    Nasir Ahmad Tawhedi, 27, was arrested on Monday in Oklahoma and accused of plotting to kill Americans with an assault rifle on behalf of ISIS. Court documents said he had contributed to an ISIS charity in March and accessed online ISIS propaganda, but they did not say whether he was radicalized before or after he came to the U.S. in 2021. A senior law enforcement official said the FBI is still investigating that question.

    The CIA declined to comment.

    The sight of all those brazen whores with their faces painted and their limbs uncovered, driving around in pickup trucks, drove him mad.

    • The Other Kevin

      There’s a good chance he was radicalized by white supremacist Trump supporters.

    • The Other Kevin

      That story ties right in with the obesity epidemic discussed earlier.

      • B.P.

        I’m told they walked 3,000 miles, through the Darien Gap, to get here. Uh huh.

    • Fourscore

      Judging from the size of the hookers they probably are going to involuntarily slim down from lack of customers. Ease up on the carbs, do more walking, less talking.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    A U.S. official said that Tawhedi, like other Afghans who resettled in the U.S., would have gone through robust security screening in other countries before arriving in the U.S. Court documents say Tawhedi entered the country in September 2021, about a month after the U.S. military completed its chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan after 20 years of war.

    “You’re not coming here to overthrow the government, are you? I didn’t think so.”

  22. Sensei

    There must be some kind of way outta here
    Said the joker to the thief
    There’s too much confusion
    I can’t get no relief

    The UNIFIL force said two of its peacekeepers were injured in one of the incidents, when an Israeli tank fired at a watchtower at the force’s main headquarters in Naqoura, hitting the tower and causing them to fall.

    https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/hezbollah-targets-israeli-troops-lebanese-border-sirens-beirut-2024-10-09/

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Our AirBnB in a tenement in the Bowery was much less than that.

      • UnCivilServant

        A mass grave is even cheaper.

        /out of tolerance

      • UnCivilServant

        That is after giving them the option of just going home and never coming back.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    The headlines say Taylor Swift made a multimillion dollar donation to hurricane relief. I hope it wasn’t to the red cross.

    • Urthona

      No it was to some kind of nebulous “hunger” organization I’ve never heard of before.

      • Rat on a train

        The People Fund?

  24. B.P.

    It seems that Hot Pockets no longer come with the microwave crisper sleeve. (Yes, I eat crap food.) The back of the box says it’s better for the environment. It also says that, if I want a crispy crust, I can stick it in an air fryer (which I don’t have). Thanks, Nestle. I think you’re missing the point of the Hot Pocket.

      • Not Adahn

        Thermal equilibrium takes time. The “let stand” step is there for a reason.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nobody follows those steps.

    • Grumbletarian

      The police chief’s last name is Crook? The author must ghostwrite for the Babylon Bee.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    SFGATE spoke with three police chiefs from Northern California cities who have independently come to the same conclusion: Teslas are not equipped to handle the demands of modern policing. Studies have shown the U.S. transportation sector contributes 29% of the country’s overall greenhouse gas emissions. If law enforcement can’t rely on the most commercially available EVs in this push toward a greener future, it casts doubt on how realistic Newsom’s push really is.

    You don’t say.

    I keep seeing claims like this: “…sector contributes 29% of the country’s overall greenhouse gas emissions” for a variety of industries. I can’t help thinking a person more diligent than I am could round them all up into one column, and I also suspect the total of that column would be substantially more than 100.

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