Cryptids or common voters, where you live?

STEVE SMITH ANXIOUS. HIM WONDER CASCADIA GET VOTE FREE TONIGHT! HIM READY CHALLENGE VOTE. HIM PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. BY CHALLENGE VOTE, MEAN…

SEA SMITH SAY IT NO HE FAULT! HE NO THERE, HE GO VOTE. IT NOT WORK GOOD. HE SCARE ALL HOOMANS OUT OF BUILDING. NO FAIR!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR ZED FOR YOUR LEADER. HE WILL CONTINUE THE CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

438 Comments

  1. Ownbestenemy

    Where is Bigfoot and why no he come…and by cum, I mean come

  2. Pope Jimbo

    Is STEVE SMITH going to implement a POLE TAX?

  3. DEG

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR ZED FOR YOUR LEADER. HE WILL CONTINUE THE CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH!

    And the gift of the gun too right?

  4. Pope Jimbo

    My worst fear did not come to pass. I was semi-terrified that the Deep State would decide that the way to nail down the election would be to have a MAGA guy assassinate Kamala.

    Sure, Kamala wouldn’t be president, but King Walz would be. That would be worse.

    • cyto

      They are building some sort of platform at the White House.

      Wild ass speculation was that they were going to install Kamala early to replace Biden

      • J. Frank Parnell

        At one point I guessed that, if Trump won, Biden would step down early so Kamala could have her spot in the history books, but now I’m pretty sure Biden hates her guts and is going to claim he would have won and spend the last months of his presidency rubbing that shit in her face.

      • Drake

        Good news is she’ll have a ton of free time to day drink.

  5. LCDR_Fish

    By the by, NRO was giving at least 52 senate seats to the elephants in their podcast yesterday. Dan McLaughlin was leaning up to 54 – but then he couldn’t remember which was the 54th.

  6. cyto

    Florida has 79% reporting 8 minutes after the polls close. The 3rd largest state in the country.

    Pennsylvania… 3%

    • cyto

      8:15

      100% of the Florida result is in.

      • cyto

        Sorry. Website glitch.

        88.4%

      • cyto

        8:18. Pennsylvania

        7.2 %

        Really?

    • kinnath

      In contrast, NY Times provides this useful info:

      Arizona: First results are expected around 10 p.m. Eastern time. Most voters cast ballots by mail, and counting typically takes days. Officials in Maricopa County said full tabulation could take 10 to 13 days.

      Perfect system for cheating.

      • cyto

        Yup. Wait till the tallies are in, then figure out how many votes you need.

      • Common Tater

        I remember when retirees with pencils got it done by dinner time.

  7. Pine_Tree

    Fox News called some states for Harris with 0% reporting. Like IL and CT. Not REALLY a surprise, but come on. At least act like you’re going to make it connected to some data.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The interwebz and social media is where it’s at, Jack. Fox News friggin blows.

      • rhywun

        Social media blows, present company excluded.

        I’ll flip between the Sabres and Fawx news but no way I’m watching intertube videos.

      • rhywun

        PS. agree with earlier thoughts about modern televisions and hawkey. It’s real nice to be able to follow the puck now.

        In the olde days I could barely follow the game (and mostly didn’t watch because of that).

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      We have a rare trials & trippelations sighting in here

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Lively drunk crowd in here

  8. cyto

    Ealy warning

    Ohio showing “leans blue”

    Isnt that where they dumped a few hundred thousand illegals?

    • kinnath

      AP is showing the bulk of OH leaning red for House. Blue areas are clearly the cities. If the cities are reporting early, the leans blue on the president map doesn’t mean anything.

      • kinnath

        AP now showing OH leaning red on the Presidents race.

      • rhywun

        I’m seeing a lot of cities reporting early, which is the opposite of every other election I have paid half-attention to before.

      • UnCivilServant

        Abandon Harris and regroup for 2026?

    • KSuellington

      That’s already gone the other way.

  9. Suthenboy

    At this moment in time I am seeing Trump 105, Harris 72. The R’s are comfortably ahead in both house and senate. The R’s must be ecstatic . They may have another record breaking opportunity to drop the ball.
    Where is my goddamned Obamacare repeal?

    • juris imprudent

      Repealing Obamacare wouldn’t make anything better in terms of our healthcare system. All that would happen is the toothless mandate wouldn’t even be able to gum you.

    • Suthenboy

      Now T 111 , H 72

    • cyto

      This is historical.

      And sad

      • cyto

        Hysterical.

        The newer spell check is killing me

  10. LCDR_Fish

    VA is actually looking really tight with a lot of blue supposedly already reported (other than some “cities” up in NOVA). Guess we’ll see about surprises.

    • Urthona

      There’s 150,000 blue votes yet from their most populous county and this exact thing happened in 2020.

      Don’t get too excited yet.

      • cyto

        180,000 if it needs to be…..

      • Urthona

        Yup. Virginia going blue I think. Not enough of a lead for Trump.

      • cyto

        Florida up at 93% in

        VIRGINIA at 42%

        FL 22+ million
        Virginia < 9 million

      • Ted S.

        According to current results, Harris leads in Loudoun by 36K and in Prince William by 35K. In 2020 Biden carried those by 66K and 61K respectively.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hopefully it will be like 2021 when NoVa told McCunteface that they could not fix it for him.

      • Urthona

        No. In fact most places are now calling Virginia for Kamala

      • UnCivilServant

        An early call smells fishy.

      • Rebel Scum

        They are holding out enough in case the rural/red areas get too uppity.

      • Urthona

        Fox is at least being careful but there aren’t enough trump votes for VA I don’t think.

        so far no surprises.

      • UnCivilServant

        Looks like they may need to start cracking out those stored votes.

        UPDATE 9:04 p.m. ET:

        According to the New York Times, in Virginia, with 51 percent reporting, Trump has taken a slightly less than 30,000 vote lead over Harris. It’s still a state leaning to the Democrats per the Times but the fact Trump is up right now–49.8 percent to 48.5 percent–probably has the Harris campaign uneasy.

      • UnCivilServant

        As of 9:43 with 63% count, Trump is ahead 47K votes in VA.

        It’s still in play.

  11. LCDR_Fish

    I posted about this on ded thread – but wordpress is completely borked on firefox all of a sudden. Seems to be normal here, but on my normal view – as of the 8 PM update – whenever I open page, I only see any new posts – I see a total post count and any posts since the last refresh but nothing else. Really weird. Even happened to previous threads.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t know what to say, I’m getting normal behavior (firefox 127 on Windows 10)

      • cyto

        Nerd

    • Nephilium

      131.0.3 (64-bit) here on Windows, works fine for me.

      When you’re talking about “my normal view”, are you referring to the main page? Any scripts blocked through extensions? Any extensions installed? Does it happen in a Private Window?

    • cyto

      This is going to come in handy.

      News you can use, baby!!!!

  12. Chipping Pioneer

    Rubin is worth watching for the chyrons.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Sex Symbol Gad Saad

        Bret Weinstein: Eric Weinstein’s Brother

      • Common Tater

        ??

  13. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Breaking news! The LP found someone less compelling that Jorgenson or Johnson.

    Last time I looked Oliver was down 50k to Jill Stein.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      *adjusts tinfoil chapeau*
      A deliberate misdirection to throw right wing Libertarians into Trump’s arms (that largely worked it seems).

  14. Shpip

    I always found it telling that people would say “I understand the assignment,” especially in light of this quip.

    Same people, for the most part.

  15. cyto

    Pennsylvania still only 13% in.

    GOP counties: if you report anything before Philly area reports, you are idiots.

    • cyto

      All of the liberal northeastern states being called…. with only 3 to 4% of the vote in.

      How is it that slow to count votes?

      Florida is closing in on having counted 11 million votes.

      • Urthona

        Yeah it’s kinda interesting how Florida really nailed down their election laws and now it’s solidly red.

      • rhywun

        Nailed down = vOtEr sUpPrEsSiOn

        /the left

      • Nephilium

        rhywun:

        It’s racist to require an ID or proof of citizenship to vote, it’s also necessary to ban shirts and hats with wrongthink from polling places because people might have their vote influenced.

  16. Aloysious

    HAIL ZARDOZ.

    I’ve got some brutals here in meat space that need to be fucking cleansed.

    Where’s Ron? I’m failing at the stoic thingy again.

  17. Common Tater

    Trump wins Ohio.

    • Gender Traitor

      You’re welcome! 😁

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        REDheads unite!

      • Gender Traitor

        Dyslexics untie!

  18. LCDR_Fish

    Looks like Travis Corcoran got re-elected to NH house – shifted from floating district 40 to Hillsborough District 28.

      • cyto

        He had a great tweet. Said “it looks like i won, since I’m running unopposed and I just voted for myself…”

  19. Rebel Scum

    Well, it’s neck and chicken neck for pres. in VA right now.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Weird that Senate is a little lower – maybe because Kaine just has more name recognition than Cao.

      • Rebel Scum

        Me from a bit ago:

        Rebel Scum on November 5, 2024 at 6:37 pm

        Forgot to mention…Clearly I voted for OMB and the Hillbilly, the Chinaman* (ok, ok he’s Vietnamese…) and some no name that has no chance in my House district.

        *He was Cao-ing down on the polling gap recently, but Kaine the Kunte is probably too entrenched to be unseated.

        Kaine has the establishment/deep state backing.

  20. Common Tater

    I’m not surprised Trump won the Puerto Rican vote in Florida. Word salad doesn’t translate into Spanish.

  21. cyto

    Oh, and Milwaukee had a problem with tabulation machines not being properly sealed…. so they are going to reset and start over, delaying the reporting of Milwaukee until Wednesday.

    Let’s see…. Milwaukee, Atlanta….

    Charlotte very slow.

    Hmmm…. no problems in Miami (which is a basketball case compared to those cities). Or NYC.

    Somehow swing states blue strongholds just have bad luck and get delayed…. every time

    • Rebel Scum

      *whispers*

      It’s by design.

    • Ed Wuncler

      I don’t know the in and outs of federal electoral laws but if the GOP wins big in the House and Senate, the first thing they should do is make Election Day a national holiday and absolutely dissuade early voting unless you are living or going to be abroad. The idea that our elections especially in swing states are this disorganized is a gotdamn disgrace and most likely by design.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Endorsed!

      • LCDR_Fish

        Federalism is a good thing – for states rights – but you need some standardization for common sense.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No exceptions, no for expats or military.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, that’s a good idea.

      • Nephilium

        In good news, it looks like Issue 1 is going to fail. In bad news, it looks like 55 is going to pass.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Disenfranchising military serving overseas isn’t a good idea.

      • Common Tater

        No military seems grossly immoral.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Take leave. Same with any other American absent from their polling location. It’s time to stop enabling everyone. Either arrange to be there or don’t be.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I do think public employees of any stripe should not hold or run for political office and I’m on the fence whether they should be disenfranchised entirely.

      • UnCivilServant

        Any public employee, or an employee of a government contractor, or any other institution recieving government funding in the form of grants, loans, subsidies, or tax breaks, is not permitted to vote in any election related to those levels of government which funds their employment.

        Too much conflict of interest there.

        Same with welfare recipients. Any handouts from any level bars you from voting relating to that level.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only the One True Scotsman will be eligible. Or would if they were a citizen.

      • Common Tater

        “Any public employee, or an employee of a government contractor, or any other institution recieving government funding in the form of grants, loans, subsidies, or tax breaks, is not permitted to vote in any election related to those levels of government which funds their employment.”

        Insane and unworkable. Right now, they can’t even enforce citizens over 18.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, it’s easily workable – cut spending to next to 0 and ditch the tax carveouts and there’s just the direct employees left.

  22. Common Tater

    Milwaukee having shenanigans.

  23. Pine_Tree

    My current fantasy is to see NY (called super-early for Harris) flip as the night goes on.

    • UnCivilServant

      I really want to see NY flip.

      I’ll settle for Prop 1 going down in flames, but the best of all worlds would be a legislature that dismantles the downstate fraud machine.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’m aiming high for VA but y’all are reaching for the stars there. That said, I agree that it would be awesome.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’ll flip a la Guam with too many people on it before it flips politically.

      • rhywun

        I seriously doubt Prop 1 goes down given the propaganda surrounding it.

        I’m more concerned about upstate House seats flipping to the Dems.

      • UnCivilServant

        UPDATE 10:28 p.m. ET:

        Trump is performing VERY strongly in New York, particularly in certain boroughs in the city but also among Jewish voters:

        What about downstate coattails flipping the other way?

      • rhywun

        Trump got 80+% last time in Brooklyn districts with lots of Hasidim. Queens are SI are loaded with ethnic whites who vote GOP.

        NYC is a bit more politically diverse than most people think. It’s not like some of the smaller cities in NY that are less diverse in most ways.

  24. Ownbestenemy

    Remember folks…any numbers from a news agency are projected and speculation…

  25. Common Tater

    Harris looks way ahead in PA.

  26. cyto

    Trump only has a 200,000 vote lead in Georgia, with Atlanta holding back.

    Printing press goes brrrrrr….

  27. Gender Traitor

    Watching Tucker stream from Mar-a-lago. They’re only occasionally mentioning vote counts, but he’s talking to some interesting folks – since I started watching, Vivek, Don Jr., and now Nigel Farage.

    • Common Tater

      Is that on X?

      • Gender Traitor

        YouTube. Now talking to Dana White.

      • UnCivilServant

        Whenever I see that name I keep getting confused with Vana White.

      • Common Tater

        Thanks 🙂

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      WHy did he stop streaming????

      • Gender Traitor

        I think I heard him say something about going to join the party (and he didn’t mean a political party.)

  28. cyto

    Wife is watching NBC. They seem oddly calm and collected about the results. Have used the phrase “threat to democracy” several times… but seem unconcerned about how trump is doing.

    I wonder if they know something I don’t know?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Dont look way into it.

    • Urthona

      Most of the stations are ok just for reporting results. Nothing much they can do now.

      Also nothing so far happening different than 2020.

      • cyto

        They try to create a buzz of inevitability to supress the west coast vote

        I remember in 2000 they called florida for Gore and said Georgia was too close to call.

        Georgia went 60-40 for Bush, and we all know about Florida.

        But they went on national TV and said this basically made a Bush win impossible, driving down the west coast republican vote. (This was 7 pm eastern, before the polls in Florida even closed. Some west coast polls had 5 hours left)

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re harshing my buzz, pickle.

      • Urthona

        Well remember these states Trump lost by tiny margins so we might not know for awhile.

      • Urthona

        They put up the margins over time from 2020… and … yup everything looking very similar so far but it’s hard to drill down and really see.

    • Rebel Scum

      Idk. ABC called PA last week during a race.

    • UnCivilServant

      Unless they shut off the computers on their way out, you have a few days before the wheels come off.

    • cyto

      Interesting. I wonder what the model is.

    • Rebel Scum

      Tbf she considers Kamala to be “the help”…

      • cyto

        Oof

    • Common Tater

      Red doesn’t equal MAGA.

      • cyto

        Tell that to Juicy Smolliette

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She wrote in Mao?

      • Urthona

        In fact they used to switch the party’s colors every election until the 80s.

      • Common Tater

        I doubt she voted for Trump.

      • Brochettaward

        That bitch totally new how her choice would be interpreted. Doesn’t matter who she actually voted for. It’s inconsequential.

        But yea…there’s plausible deniability to say she just wore patriotic colors.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its projected…its speculation. What does their Secretary of State say?

    • cyto

      DC polls are not closed.

      Why?

      Dunno.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do they even have an electoral vote? Or is this just for their local officials and non-voting rep in the House?

      • cyto

        23rd amendment says they get treated like a state for presidential vote.

        So they get 3 electoral votes.

      • UnCivilServant

        That is two too many! They don’t have Senators.

      • Urthona

        Wonder who is going to win DC.

        nailbiter.

      • Rat on a train

        DC gets 3 per the 23rd Amendment.

      • Rat on a train

        That is two too many! They don’t have Senators.
        They also want those and a rep.

  29. UnCivilServant

    You know what would amuse me to no end – if they put all this effort into delaying PA and the state ends up irrelevant to the victory totals.

    • Urthona

      That would be awesome.

      if Trump gets Michigan or Wisconsin doesn’t need it.

    • B.P.

      I’m holding out for Trump loses the election but wins the popular vote. All of the advanced thinkers completely reverse course and abandon their “principles”, explaining how the electoral college saved democracy. Throw in the GOP taking the Senate and things get really fun. Oceans of blather from the pundits, pollsters switch to selling real estate.

      • Urthona

        I’m not holding out hope for that because that complete reversal of taking points has happened about everything for my entire life. I am bored of it.

      • cyto

        That would be epic…

        Except they would take out all free speech. So pyrric victory at best…

  30. Yusef drives a Kia

    Howdy
    Tomorrow is the beer fling, part of San Diego Beer week.
    20 breweries and as many ice chests of their finest. Beer on the 7th 11th and 14th hole, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.

    Lunch at 40th St. Breweries, life is still good

  31. cavalier973

    Trump won NC.

    The “suppress the vote with a hurricane” ploy didn’t work.

    • Urthona

      Welp. I really thought my hurricane machine was gonna do the trick there.

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s nothing to HAARP on.

    • Rat on a train

      Darth Cheney is weakening.

    • kinnath

      I don’t see anyone calling NC yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        I did. I was going to give the link, but it has been pushed off the bottom of the site I was following updates on

      • Urthona

        Lots of big blue counties in NC with only 30% of votes counted. but I’m no expert.

      • DEG

        270towin has.

      • cyto

        Trump by a quarter million in NC with 3/4 of the vote in.

      • Urthona

        Looking likely

    • Drake

      I’d love to see Mark Robinson as NC Governor, but I doubt it’ll happen.

      • Urthona

        Too many fumbles by that guy I think.

  32. groat scotum

    So: Hunter Biden pardoned tomorrow morning or do you think Jill strings him along for a couple months out of spite?

  33. DEG

    WMUR called the NH governor race for Kelly Ayotte.

    • slumbrew

      No real dog in that fight, but good – the Craig ads just would not stop.

      • slumbrew

        ” pointing to neighboring Massachusetts, where Democrats control the state government and dominate the congressional delegation, Ayotte made her slogan “Don’t Mass UP NH” her campaign’s rallying cry.’

        She’s not wrong.

      • DEG

        Craig campaigning with Maura Healey only sells well in certain segments.

        270towin has Manchester at 71% reported with Ayotte ahead of Craig, which is not at all surprising given that Craig’s handpicked successor lost the Manchester mayoral race.

  34. kinnath

    AP says GOP has picked up 2 House seats.

    • Urthona

      I thought the sentiment was they were losingl the house. Interesting.

    • rhywun

      I’m almost more wanting that + the House to at least get a split if the sacks of ballots put First of Her Name on top.

  35. grrizzly

    Watching MSNBC and looking at the NYT website. The NYT projections are getting better for Trump.

    • Urthona

      Looked about the same at this time in 2020 though so I’m cautious.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’ll feel more confident when the MSDNC talking heads start crying.

      • Urthona

        If that happens I’m switching over.

      • Rat on a train

        The Young Turks in 2016 was a classic.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t look directly upon them, but I am getting secondhand reports of despair.

        I know that’s very poor evidence.

      • cyto

        Absolutely. That is a must see live moment.

      • Gender Traitor

        I don’t look directly upon them

        Maddow is actually Medusa?

      • Common Tater

        She doesn’t turn any of my parts to stone.

      • slumbrew

        I’m actually working (mostly) but will 1000% switch on the TV if it comes to a re-run of the Young Turks losing their shit.

    • rhywun

      Watching MSNBC

      What the hell is wrong with you? lol

      • grrizzly

        Fubo.tv doesn’t have CNN. Buy I just realized I can watch CNN on Max.

      • Urthona

        My wife doesn’t care for the Fox coverage but I like the fact that the ticker keeps going during commercials.

      • rhywun

        Lefty channels are only worth watching if tears are imminent.

        The Fox coverage is fine so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • grrizzly

      NYT: Trump’s chance of victory is 82%.

  36. Rat on a train

    How is the LP doing? Bad enough to get a better draft pick next election?

    • Common Tater

      They should pick SugarFree. No idea if he is a felon?

      • slumbrew

        Convicted? No, never convicted.

      • Common Tater

        He wrote that’s why he can’t vote?

  37. cyto

    PA showing as “leans republican” with 50% in.

    Shenanigans have not yet begun. But….

    If this continues, it may not be such a long night after all.

    • Urthona

      Trump was leading PA until 8pm on Wednesday in 2020.

      • Brochettaward

        Fox was saying earlier that Harris needed to get 700k votes from Philly to win PA. That’d be 100k more than Biden, roughly.

        Trump team is fighting to keep them counting tonight in PA.

    • Urthona

      Uh are you sure that’s correct?

      • Urthona

        Because i am just watching the tv and they’re only showing like 25% counted

      • Urthona

        That was an error it turns out.

      • cyto

        Trump by 10k with just shy of half the vote

      • UnCivilServant

        NYT says 49% counted.

        I don’t trust them, but it’s the first additional data point I’ve found

    • Urthona

      Been acknowledged as a mistake.

      That woulda basically been the election.

      • Urthona

        Yeah got really excited for a sec

      • Nephilium

        Google (via AP) still has Wis 49.8/48.7 Trump with 50% counted.

      • Urthona

        Gotta look at the county breakdowns. Big blue counties still outstanding? Not a good lead.

      • Urthona

        Yup.

        Milkwaukee has a machine issue.

        Giant blue county delayed.

  38. cyto

    Virginia, Biden by 15k with 2/3 of vote in

  39. Ownbestenemy

    Has Fox called AZ yet? If not..they are late

    • Urthona

      It’s funny people are still mad at that though because actually their math was correct.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Right or not, they called it erroneously no? I get projection, but people were still voting I believe and ballots were still be counting.

      • Urthona

        Well. There were some shenanigans going on in that state but I think they extrapolated correctly from data at that time.

  40. cyto

    NYT predictor has Trump at 82% chance of victory.

    Isnt this the model they were using that said Hillary was a lock?

    Are they punking me?

    • R.J.

      Yes. I am with Urthona. I have seen this before.

    • cyto

      They have Trump winning the popular vote

      Definitely punking

    • Urthona

      Yeah NYT had trump way up this time in 2020 too.

      I’ve seen this. But things are ticking up by about 2% for trump. That may just be enough.

  41. Translucent Chum

    FWIW, NYT predicts Trump takes electoral and popular vote now.

    • cyto

      Punking us because of 2016

  42. Pine_Tree

    Is there a livestream of the Harris watch party anywhere?

    • cyto

      This is something the world needs

    • R.J.

      Those people don’t party, laugh or have fun. I bet they are just sitting in chairs, blaming each other.

  43. Yusef drives a Kia

    RCPhas it at
    211 Trump
    112 Harris atm

  44. cyto

    Virginia still under 20k votes separation with 68% in

      • cyto

        Using Politico map. Seems to pull directly from state data

      • LCDR_Fish

        Some ridiculous reporting delays on the Fox map. Lynchburg still at 0%.

      • Rebel Scum

        They seem to vary a bit from DDHQ.

  45. creech

    GOP losing a couple House seats in AZ. Will GOP lose the House?

    • Rat on a train

      A D House is the worst for fiscal sanity.

      • cyto

        D house would wreck the country

        If Trump wins they would impeach on day 1

      • Rat on a train

        And if Harris wins they will push more massive spending bills.

      • rhywun

        D house would wreck the country

        Yeah, that’s the most important “race” tonight.

      • Urthona

        Not if repubs get senate or presidency.

    • grrizzly

      NYT: Trump’s chance of winning is 86%.

    • KSuellington

      Team Red is plus 3 in the House right now according to RealClear. If Trump wins he is going to have both Senate and House.

      • rhywun

        After which they will promptly do nothing with it.

      • Urthona

        Hopefully they’re fiscally smarter than Trump because I actually don’t want tariffs and was counting on congress to take back that power

      • UnCivilServant

        That would still be an improvement.

  46. cyto

    Arizona essentially tied with half the vote in

    • Gender Traitor

      Elon and one of his kids just joined Tucker. The kid has the giggles. This could be fun.

  47. Translucent Chum

    GA called for Trump.

  48. cyto

    Wisconsin Trump by 20k votes with 54% in

    Not enough to overcome the printing press

    • UnCivilServant

      How? He couldn’t remember what district he was running for and held more events outside of it than in?

      • Rat on a train

        It’s a carpetbagger district ever since redistricting put Hoodbridge as the core.

    • slumbrew

      Man, VA is the worst.

    • Rat on a train

      It was already a D seat so not a D pickup but definitely a dishonorable douche pickup.

      • Urthona

        Ha

    • cyto

      Isnt he the brother? I can’t remember which is which

      • Rebel Scum

        Yes. Lt. Cunte Vindman is the brother that insisted on civilian leadership addressing him by his military title in a committee hearing. Both are assholes of the highest order. They need to get out of my state and country. Send them back to Ukraine where they belong.

      • Common Tater

        Fuck both of them with a rusty chainsaw.

  49. Rat on a train

    Good night all. I expect the scheduled overnight dump will go as planned.

  50. slumbrew

    Mass is only partially retarded:

    https://www.wcvb.com/article/2024-election-results-massachusetts-ballot-questions/62522396

    Yes to rideshare unions – bad: let’s add another $25 to every Uber ride.

    No to forcing tipped workers to the minimum wage – good: that would have killed restaurants dead.

    Yes to dropping MCAS as a high school graduation requirement – bad: because objective standards are raycist! Or something.

    The other two I’m ambivalent about – yes to auditing the legislature but the auditor is an elected executive-branch position, which isn’t great. My registered-R buddy things the rump Republican Party in this state should be laser focused on the state auditor race next time around for this reason.

    No to “legalizing” psychedelics – it created a whole huge raft of new licensing with all the associated opportunities for graft.

    • grrizzly

      The restaurant tipping question was the only one where I agreed with the rest of voting Massholes.

      • slumbrew

        Pleasantly surprised that didn’t pass.

        I guess enough people know servers; I don’t know a single one who was for it.

    • Chafed

      Have Lyft and Uber said what they will do?

      Also, sorry MA has voted for the endumbening. Speaking for CA, enjoy the ride down.

      • slumbrew

        Dunno – only certain thing is that consumers will lose, unless the drivers are smart enough to tell the union organizers to get fucked.

      • Chafed

        I was just in Boston visiting my daughter. Among the intelligentsia, unionization would be easier. Among the Lyft drivers I met, I’m not sure.

    • Gustave Lytton

      No to forcing tipped workers to the minimum wage – good: that would have killed restaurants dead.

      Maybe in the short term. It’s been that way forever here and still have restaurants.

      • slumbrew

        Yes, in the long term some restaurants will figure it out. We have “no tipping” restaurants now, which just tack on 20% (or more) onto your bill vs. you tipping.

        Any resturant who wants to do so now can do so. Notably, they’re all higher-end places.

        In the short term it will blow up a lot of restaurants, needlessly, and will have a disproportionate impact on more downmarket places.

  51. Playa Manhattan

    Are we still abolishing the filibuster and packing the Supreme Court? Unless something has changed….

    • Urthona

      It doesn’t look like even if Harris ekes out a win that will be possible.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yep positive is split government. Which is what we should always be.

    • Brochettaward

      Do you have the results of the Florida vote? My internet is down.

      • Urthona

        They enshrined the right to give weed to fetuses in their constitution.

    • Nephilium

      Do you have the results of the CA election yet?

      • UnCivilServant

        Newsome 35%, Biden 20%, Trump 30%, Stein 10%, Harris 3%, Other 2%

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Looks like we’re making theft illegal again and not raising the minimum wage, and, surprisingly, the rent control prop is going down too.

        OTOH some stupid bond issues passed and we’re funding Medi-Cal until the end of time.

        Also, more gay marriage.

  52. creech

    Looks like at least 3 GOP House seats lost in NY. Mike Johnson probably puckering up.

    • rhywun

      Looks like the illegal mid-census gerrymandering is working as advertised.

      • Chafed

        Oh yeah.

  53. Pine_Tree

    NYT: “OK it’s 2300 on the East coast, so California’s closed. We’re gonna go ahead and mark CA and WA blue on the map and tag those electors to Kamala, but at the same time our model’s gonna creep Trump’s % of winning up to 89%.”

    • rhywun

      Yeah, Trump’s not picking up shit on the west coast. Makes sense to me.

    • Chafed

      Whoa. Trump with 94%. Harris is toast if that’s right.

  54. DEG

    I’m out for the night.

    It looks like Republicans will control the NH state government with the Federal “stuff” staying Democrat.

  55. cyto

    Sherrod Brown loses 51 to 46

    Libertarian pulls in 3.5% well played!

    • Urthona

      The momentum is on our side. 4% in 2028.

    • Brochettaward

      The LP performing like it has with a Trump victory is surprising to me.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Green party pulling more no?

      • cyto

        No candidate in that race

      • Nephilium

        We had a Libertarian in the Senate race as well as the Presidential (Green only were on the Presidential).

  56. Brochettaward

    Where’s that cunt Hype?

  57. Ownbestenemy

    Sticking to a 300+ EC win for Trump…not some smackdown, though he will claim it is.

    • Brochettaward

      For modern elections, it is a pretty thorough beating.

  58. Chafed

    So, what’s everyone doing tonight?

    • Ownbestenemy

      *looks at glass of bourbon* None your business Fed

      • Chafed

        You are the smartest of us.

      • Chafed

        #MeToo

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      A bunch of us were on zoom but I bowed out

      • Ownbestenemy

        Why?

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Kinda drunk and my eyes were swimming

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Also on account of garbage bandwidth, I could either Zoom or watch livestreams, but not both. WEanted to check out some Rumbles and YouTunes

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Ayup. Drunk: confirmed

    • Pope Jimbo

      I’m working here in Korea. Pretty great to keep up a site that is streaming results and watching things change.

      For a long time Minnesoda was leaning red. I was soooooo hopeful. It is leaning blue now. I’m sure the early results were from Outstate Minnesoda that hates Walz’s guts.

      I don’t know why they early reported. I’d wait until Hennepin and Ramsey county posted their results (home of Mpls and St. Paul). Make them show their cards first. Don’t let them know how many trunkfuls of ballots they need to “find”.

  59. PieInTheSky

    Come on Kami you can do it!

    • slumbrew

      Something kinda sweet about the richest man in the world (depending on the day) being an indulgent dad.

    • Chafed

      The kid is cute. Tucker Carlson gives me the creeps.

      • slumbrew

        Yeah, Tucker’s an oddball.

        I’ve never been any sort of fan of any of the political talking heads – they all come off as weirdos to me.

  60. SarumanTheGreat

    Surfing several websites. I’m still worried about 3 AM ballot dumps. Some sites have said this is Gen Z’s election, a big FU to Gen X.

    • KSuellington

      Gen X bitch slapped them.

    • Chafed

      Interesting. Could be true.

    • rhywun

      Under 30s are way underperforming for Herself compared to Joe.

    • Nephilium

      Gen X?

      Who the fuck are they?

  61. cyto

    MSNBC says mail in ballots will win Pennsylvania

    • Urthona

      Didn’t the news report that PA counts the mail in ballots first?

      • cyto

        No. By law they cannot open them until the other votes are counted.

    • trshmnstr

      Supposedly, Trump is doing much better in mail ins in PA this time around. 66/33 Harris compared to 75/25 Biden.

      Sounds like roughly 175k ballots left in Philly, and even at 80% Harris, its not enough for her.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Wait a minute, we just found two million ballots in the back of this truck. Turns out they’re all party-line (D)”

  62. Common Tater

    WTF is an “in person absentee ballot”?

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s where you arrive in person, get the paperwork, fill it in and hand it over in the same visit.

  63. PieInTheSky

    Bitcoin is pumping this indicates a Trump win I would say

  64. Urthona

    Fox is saying it looks like Dems will retake the House

    • Urthona

      This is funny because it looks like all electable pieces of government have a good chance to flip.

    • cyto

      If that happens and Trump wins, it could actually be the end of the republic.

      No chance they don’t go right back to impeachment

      • KSuellington

        It’s not going to happen. R’s will control all (narrowly).

      • rhywun

        Fox is calling the Senate for the GOP.

    • KSuellington

      Poly market says that it’s 20% chance of D’s taking House.

    • Chafed

      Hakeem Jeffries is going to make me miss Pelosi, isn’t he?

      • slumbrew

        Like New Yorkers miss Andrew Cuomo.

        “God, this guy is the worst – anyone would be better!”…

      • Rebel Scum

        With the lisp and being a more competent and confident liar, yes.

      • Chafed

        You’re both right and it makes me sad.

  65. cyto

    MSNBC saying Kamala is in great shape to “thread the needle.

    Convincing half the country she will win

    • Chafed

      I have been flipping between NBC and Fox. NBC talking heads are trying hide their nervousness. Fox talking heads seem genuinely curious how this is going to turn out.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Gut feeling means….Repub win POTUS

  66. pan fried wylie

    Ugh. my FWB just texted me to ask if I voted for Kammy.

    FWB? Fat White Bitch? Future Wallet Burden? Faulty Wiring Breaker?

    (ok, i figured it out while trying to madlib more expansions. Friend With Boobies, duh.)

    • slumbrew

      That’s not really _wrong_ …

    • groat scotum

      Friend with Boner.

      • slumbrew

        Also not technically wrong, depending on who’s talking.

        Or not. NTTIATWWT.

    • Aloysious

      Friend with beer?

    • Chafed

      It’s a shame their National Guard hasn’t gone full Kent State.

    • Aloysious

      Black block needs to be put in the ground.

  67. cyto

    Michigan is still nowhere near counting half of their votes. That is insane.

    Something is fishy with that

    • Ownbestenemy

      Is that the official SoS site? Or new reporting?

      • cyto

        As of right now, 38.2% .

        11:43pm now

        Polls closed at 9

        2 hours and 43 mins.

        FL was at double that in 10 minutes.

    • Chafed

      California will probably not finish for a week. Both states could take a lesson from FL.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s a lesson they have no desire to learn.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Maybe it is the GOP districts not wanting to post their results until Detroit does? Like I said above, it might be a game of chicken where they don’t want The Machine to know how many votes it has to “find”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hopefully.

        Force the fraudsters to commit first.

      • rhywun

        Could explain why I saw a while back the cities were reporting way earlier than they usually do.

  68. cyto

    Well, a memo must have gone out.

    Dems on every network saying “all the votes must be counted”

    • cyto

      Which tells me the fortification plan is a go.

    • Rebel Scum

      All votes are ballots, but not all ballots are votes…

  69. Chipping Pioneer

    I am feeling confident b that Kamala will not win.

  70. Ownbestenemy

    Not really seeing Harris win here.

    • Drake

      That’s a big question.

      The next would be trying to disqualify him.

    • Rebel Scum

      Define “fraud.” Jamie Rat-skin said a Democrat House would not certify a Trump win.

  71. groat scotum

    Now that Trump’s the crown prince or heir apparent or whatever, do I still have to go to work tomorrow? Can I claim emotional distress because I’m partying too late?

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Right there with ya

      • cyto

        Nope.

        There is a cacophony from dem shills “let’s count all the votes”. The steal is on.

      • UnCivilServant

        1 min ago FuzzyChimp

        The Fox News reporter said she was getting language from the Harris campaign that she couldn’t repeat on the air. She looked like she had enough of dealing with people who were treating her like crap.

        More Hearsay.

    • Rebel Scum

      I’m just hoping I have enough electrolytes, caffeine and vitamins to fix me in the morning.

      • Nephilium

        May I interest you in a Brawndo to match these trying times?

    • Pope Jimbo

      Amazing how 100% of the late shifts or recounts always end up going the Democratic way?

      The first time they tried this it was when Franken beat Norm for the Minnesoda Senate seat. Every single adjustment went the DFL way. They were always minor clerical errors that were just being rectified. But these minor changes kept happening until Franken got more votes and then all the counting stopped.

      The MSM flooded the airwaves with stories about how on the up and up it all was.

      After 2020 I’m doubly worried we are going to start seeing barriers put up at the counting sites and massive vote dumps showing up.

      • UnCivilServant

        If that happens, there need to be massive mag dumps at those sites to deter future repeats.

      • cyto

        Yup. That was my first “wow, they just stole that election ” moment.

        A couple of places went 100% for Franken, and had more votes than Voters

      • Drake

        I’m going to bed. If they pull up truckloads of fake ballots, there will be trouble tomorrow.

    • cavalier973

      Eh.

      Maybe, but the RNC seems to be much more on top of this stuff than four years ago.

      Who was chairman of the RNC last Prez election?

      I just looked it up; it was Ronna McDaniel.

      From Wikipedia: During McDaniel’s tenure as chair of the RNC, the Republican Party lost eight gubernatorial elections, four seats in the United States Senate, 20 seats in the House of Representatives, and the presidency. In December 2022, Axios wrote that McDaniel “has thus far failed to preside over a single positive election cycle.”

      The article bills her as a staunch Trump supporter, but she is also the niece of Mitt Romney, who hates Trump.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Trump’s fuckup in 2020 was not suing everyone before the election started.

        In Minnesoda the DFL SoS agreed to “settle” on some huge changes in election law. The group sued saying that the pandemic meant that the laws should be loosened up.

        By settling, the laws were changed without the legislature’s approval (and the state constitution says that they are the only ones who can change them). A few of the GOP wanted to sue, but the others all wussed out.

        Trump should have stepped in and sued at that point. By waiting until after the election to challenge, there was no hope to rectify things.

      • rhywun

        The group sued saying that the pandemic meant that the laws should be loosened up.

        It’s almost like the pandemic is over and the laws should be returned to where they were.

  72. Common Tater

    So Harris won VA?

  73. cyto

    Withholding making calls

    Some 350k votes outstanding in Georgia. Trump up 120k

    Even 70/30 doesn’t do it.

    Wonder what will happen?

  74. Gustave Lytton

    So RFK Jr’s daughter-in-law and campaign manager was (maybe is) a CIA NOC? I really need to hit up the tin foil at Costco next time.

  75. Common Tater

    Voters in CA, WA, and OR, are fucking retarded.

    • Rebel Scum

      Anyone voting for Kommiela and Tiananmen Tim are retarded.

      • Plinker762

        If none of the WA tax rollback initiatives pass, then WA voters are retards.

  76. cyto

    Nevada polls closed 2 hours ago.

    No results posted.

    Someone wanna go do a welfare check?

    • UnCivilServant

      They’re hoping their votes won’t be able to swing the election before reporting?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Are you kidding? Think of how lucrative it will be to be a ballot judge in NV if it ends up being the state that can swing the election!

      • UnCivilServant

        The Desert is full of shallow graves, Jimbo.

  77. Pope Jimbo

    I’m wondering if the Democratic Party is willing to cheat for Kamala (in the glaring way it did for Biden).

    The saner people in the party must realize how bad she would be as a president. They also know that their Trump hysteria is bullshit.

    My gut feeling was that this election was a flyer that the Dems took on just how effective an entire campaign of gaslighting by the entire MSM could be. If Kamala wins, great. They now know that with the MSM they can get anyone elected. If she loses, also fine. She’s not going to get to jump to the front of the line in 2028 as a black/asian/woman who’s turn it is.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Kamala the Loser.

      The jockeying will begin. Shapiro and Newsom circling like the beginning of STTOS fight.

    • Drake

      She’ll be shredded in the primaries. If she’s still alive after a 4-year bender.

      • slumbrew

        Zero chance she’ll run again if she loses.

      • UnCivilServant

        Zero chance the party lets her on any ticket if she tries either.

  78. rhywun

    Elderly driver crashes car into poll site, briefly disrupts voting

    Strite said protecting women’s rights and their securing access to abortion were the biggest issues driving her to the polls. She accidentally stepped on the gas instead of the brakes and ended up driving through polls instead, she said.

    She made up for her mistake by running over a kid on her way home.

  79. CatchTheCarp

    The pants shitting by the talking heads on the NBC broadcast brought a smile to my face.

  80. groat scotum

    My only election prediction I’m giving this year:

    The lib tears aren’t going to be nearly as free-flowing and delectable as they were in 2016. Harris didn’t offer much to women. She wasn’t an icon for aging lib voters like Hillary was, she was hated by the hardcore pro-Hamas youngsters, she had no real runway, given that her plane never taxied, so she couldn’t really excite anybody, much less the minority voters Dems think are theirs by right of conquest or whatever. I don’t think Dems, whatever their histrionics up till now, will be super surprised or all that upset about her loss.

    I’m sad to say it, but I think the tearful tragic 2016 lib voter footage is a thing unique to 2016. We’ll always have those moments to reflect on and chortle over, but in 2024, we’re all a bit wiser and more cynical and frankly surlier and more aware of the cameras constantly on us.

    I’m afraid, friends, I’m finally sick of winning.

  81. Rebel Scum

    Pallets of ballots are currently being delivered to a “counting center” in Philly. You know, to save democracy.

  82. UnCivilServant

    My question is – what degree of certainty do I need that some kind of graveyard shift shenanigans aren’t going to shift the results before I can stop watching and go to sleep?

  83. KSuellington

    I was told this was not going to happen.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, we do have that Project Veritas video of new ballots being smuggled into Detroit, so it’s not over yet.

    • Rebel Scum

      Define “this”.

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