I, Soldier – part 32

by | Nov 18, 2024 | Fiction | 36 comments

Alexandra continued to network and I continued to advise her. She got a seat on the Appropriations Committee as a junior member and also on the Science, Space, and Technology Committee. I also started writing military articles for think tanks. My own combat experience helped me get my foot in the door, but what really helped was my knowledge of current events and military history. The weapons change, but the same tactics and strategies show up over and over, and the same goes for the flaws that lead to defeat and the virtues that lead to victory. I didn’t expect my articles to change much, I just enjoyed the attention and the money I got for them. It’s hard to stop or change an idea when a lot of people have a stake in not changing it. Fight the ocean and you will drown. It’s hard to make an impression on the world; the best the greatest souls have ever done is leave a dent, which often becomes obscured through nearby dents. It’s like a wall covered in graffiti; it’s hard to tell who wrote first or best, only that many have written and a lot of it is not worth reading.

Cathy had begun to walk and talk. It’s interesting how quickly someone’s personality becomes visible. She always seemed to find a way to climb to some precarious position. I once watched from where she couldn’t see me as she escaped from a playpen, moved as quickly and quietly as possible into the kitchen, then stacked some books to create a crude ladder to reach the counter where I put some fresh chocolate chip cookies. In fairness, I left the tools she needed to reach the prize, which I had also placed intentionally. On the floor nearby, I placed cushions as a safety measure. Before she could ascend her book-ladder, I stopped her and we each ate a cookie. I decided the experiment had been a success and there was no reason to let it continue.

Alexandra became pregnant again, but continued to work with a gradually reduced pace. Her energy seemed boundless. When Jimmy Carter took office, it seemed her star would rise or fall with his. I advised her to hedge her bets by making some connections with the opposition. A lot of deals are made in the cloak room. So much so in fact that when Thomas Edison proposed a device that would allow all members of Congress to vote remotely from home via telegraph, it was bitterly opposed. The reason why was voting by telegraph, while allowing senators and such to spend more time with their constituents, completely removed the face-to-face interactions that so many politicians depended on. It was reminiscent of a Roman emperor, Vespasian, if my memory serves, who opposed a certain type of crane as it required less labor and would put many people out of work. In fact, the word sabotage comes from the act of throwing a wooden shoe, or sabot, into a factory machine to get it to stop turning. Many workers during the Industrial Revolution opposed various kinds of new labor-saving devices.

The next few years were a series of psychological setbacks for me in spite of the birth of my next child, a son. Alexandra let me pick the name, so I decided on Quint, after the shark hunter from the film Jaws. I loved that movie. The first setback was the Three Mile Island nuclear disaster. All though the accident itself was minor, it more or less killed the reputation of nuclear power, something which I always thought would be the future. Then came the Iran hostage crisis, which for me was like watching the Fall of Saigon all over again. There was a failed rescue operation, the news of which depressed me further. I decided that focusing on my children and marriage would ease my troubled mind. I took Cathy to the various Smithsonian museums, though she was still a bit young to appreciate the exhibits. It was great for me to see so much natural history on display. I was taken back to my childhood and the many hours I spent reading the encyclopedia and other books about such things.

Alexandra’s political career seemed rock-solid. She won re-election easily and was clearly enjoying her work. I tried not to spoil her fun with too much realism. The Mars landing idea she had led to other more practical deals, though she never gave up on it. There was a joint US-USSR space mission called Apollo-Soyuz in which an American spacecraft docked with a Soviet one in 1975. It was literally a friendly handshake in orbit. Alexandra was not involved in funding that, but she did continue to advocate for more joint missions, but that wouldn’t happen again until many years later with the Shuttle-Mir program, which paved the way for the International Space Station. She did succeed in getting funding for the Viking program, which landed two unmanned probes on Mars. It was a successor to the Mariner program of the 1960s in which probes flew by and orbited Venus and Mars.

It’s interesting to note that the guy who literally helped NASA get off the ground was an ex-Nazi rocket scientist named Wernher von Braun. The rocket which took the Apollo astronauts to the moon was basically a supersized version of the German V2 ballistic missile. It became the first object to reach space in 1944, 25 years before the moon landing. The V2 had a single stage, whereas the Saturn V moon rocket had several stages that fired one after another so it could travel farther and faster. Von Braun wrote a book in 1948 called The Mars Project in which he explained the design of a spacecraft that could carry human explorers there.

In my own home state of West Virginia, there was a man named Homer Hickam who built model rockets with his friends as a teen. He was inspired by the launch of Sputnik in 1957. He learned to scuba dive in the Army as a hobby and later ended up working for NASA designing underwater training to simulate the weightlessness of being in space. I heard him give a speech much later where he said that astronauts are easy to teach because they already know everything. But I digress. Often.

About The Author

Derpetologist

Derpetologist

The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp, Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy

36 Comments

  1. Derpetologist

    Hello friends. Please forgive me for my outburst last week. I woke up to an extremely painful tension migraine on Veterans Day and blew a gasket. At least now I know what was happening. Got my first tension migraine in April of 2021 when I was at the tail end of my time in the Army.

    Had a deposition today for the assault and battery case back from May. I’ll simply note that I’m satisfied at the way it turned out. The system is slow, but it worked for me this time.

    Looks like the way forward is to focus on my health in all its aspects. One day at a time. Had pad thai today so that was a treat. Also have been walking 4 or 5 miles every day.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      I am glad to hear you are doing better, Derp.

    • DEG

      Good to see you again.

      Looks like the way forward is to focus on my health in all its aspects.

      This is the right idea.

    • SarumanTheGreat

      Glad to hear from you again and that you are feeling better. The outburst had many here worried including myself.

    • R C Dean

      You gave us a scare last week. Glad you got past it.

      The only time in my life I genuinely considered suicide was when I was getting migraines. Hang in there, bro.

      • rhywun

        +1

        getting migraines

        never, knock on wood

        I’ve heard tales.

  2. Derpetologist

    I’ve been carrying around a kazoo and playing When the Saints Go Marching In for randos. The reactions have been positive. Maybe I can play music on a street corner to make a living.

    • Aloysious

      I’m just glad you are feeling better, and back.

      I liked your MOTHMAN post.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      there is a book, The Centurians by Jean Laterguy:

      When The Centurions was first published in 1960, readers were riveted by the thrilling account of soldiers fighting for survival in hostile environments. They were equally transfixed by the chilling moral question the novel posed: how to fight when the “age of heroics is over.” As relevant today as it was half a century ago, The Centurions is a gripping military adventure, an extended symposium on waging war in a new global order, and an essential investigation of the ethics of counterinsurgency. Featuring a foreword by renowned military expert Robert D. Kaplan, this important wartime novel will again spark debate about controversial tactics in hot spots around the world.

    • Fourscore

      I was a MATA guest, 1970, on my way to my 2nd South Asia vacation. After MATA some of us went to Ft Bliss to Language School. I met my wife there, she was an instructor, I was a student, but not in her class room. We did however take our breaks at the same time and I was busy honing my language skills.

      The Original MATA. The Fort Benning MATA is not the first MATA that the Army has established. During the early years of the the Vietnam War, U.S. Army Special Forces (Green Berets) at Fort Bragg, North Carolina conducted a six-week long advisor training course. The Military Assistance Training Advisor (MATA) course was established in 1962 as part of the U.S. Army Special Warfare School. [2] It prepared conventional U.S. Army officers and NCOs for assignments as advisors to Vietnamese Army units. Instructors were Special Forces NCOs highly trained in conducting Foreign Internal Defense (FID) missions. Special Forces from the 1960s and 1970s may fondly remember the “MATA Mile” – a running course through the woods alongside Gruber Road. Students were provided with ST 31-179, MATA Handbook for Vietnam, January 1966. [3]

  3. juris imprudent

    Taibbi getting a little salty, and Glib…

    If Donald Trump creates the position, I volunteer to be Secretary of Feeding People to Komodo Dragons. The first round of tossings into the lizard-pit will involve “experts” who still use grossly snobbish terms like “fringe” and “contrarian” to describe beliefs held by most of the population

    • slumbrew

      I like the cut of his jib.

    • rhywun

      The Komodo dragon episode of Planet Earth was really cool – those guys are NOT to be fucked with.

    • Ed Wuncler

      Talk about a guy that has been red pilled. I kind of get it though. Even though I voted for McCain in 2008, I had hoped that Obama at the very least would be a welcomed change from the Bush years of raping our civil liberties. I was wrong. And what was worse, Obama ramped that shit up and the folks who cried and protested for eight years about Bush’s civil liberties violations, either stayed silent or cheerleaded that shit.

      That’s when I realized that the Left loves the boot on the neck as long as it’s a rainbowed colored boot being worn by a marginalized person.

      • rhywun

        Obama fooled a lot of people.

        Including half the staff at a magazine I used to read.

        I don’t remember who I voted for; probably the libertarian, whom I couldn’t name if my life depended on it.

      • Evan from Evansville

        My first election was 2008, a junior at IU. I happily voted for Ron Paul. I happily didn’t knew not to buy into the Obama bullshit. I started reading TOS in 2004/2005 and my ideas were pretty well formed by then. Tucker Max, oddly, was the figure who supplied the link which opened me to folk on my wavelength. It was a welcome respite. See also: Here. A recess from the constant, insane insanity I’m, we’re, surrounded by.

        I was a senior in high school in ’04 (late bday; only 17) and watched the election with Katie, a junior. I have fond memories of that one. We got caught as my fingers were well south of her border. Her mom walked in. “What are you doing?!”

        Katie quickly responded with a firm “*I’M* not doing ANYTHING!” We didn’t get in trouble, but I had to go. Her mom came into Schlotzky’s Deli, where I worked, as a normal customer. She had a few words to say about not being mad at what we did, was miffed at the surprise of finding us in the living room. A lesson was learned, I suppose. Haven’t been caught since.

      • Fourscore

        I actually was a card carrying Lib at the time, sent money to “Ed” whose last name I can’t remember. I didn’t vote though, after voting for Reagan the first time. Last time I voted. No more.

      • rhywun

        I only vote for spite now.

        It helps.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I purposefully didn’t vote this year. I would’ve voted Trump if I were in a contested state, mostly for the Popular Vote cred. In Indiana, not an issue. I didn’t vote in 2020 cuz I was…well. Remarkably recovered, but no way in fuck was I going out in fucking COVID crowds. Being newly half-deaf and in a sea of masks? Uh. I need to read lips, bastards. Fuck. Off. (And. I probably shouldn’t have been anywhere on my own. I’m politely stubborn.)

        I thought/think: If Harris wins? Kamala will ensure a terrible term. If Trump wins? DC will ensure a terrible term. I don’t want to affix my name to someone’s terrible term that I’ll have to *own.* <– I hope I'm wrong. I also abstained to secure myself from family, particularly my brother. I told Mom my intentions, but I didn't tell her afterwards. I'm sad – Only Mom will even listen, and we have to be on our own. And she'll only take so much. I don't talk about it, but I do observe and listen.

        "I am distressed. I feel my diverse thoughts will not be included in this conversation with equity. I feel it safer to remain silent."

      • rhywun

        My family was always chill about politics. Mom voted for Carter then Reagan. She was not a party person. Brothers variously liberal, later conservative or libertarian. No worries talking about politics with any of them even if disagreements.

        Friends largely the same except for my best friend’s wife who is probably throwing herself off a bridge about now.

    • rhywun

      Weah just dazzled. The Jamaica goal was impressive, too.

      Once again I only discovered this match was on a couple hours ago.
      I did not know they played last week at all.

  4. Evan from Evansville

    I’m always late to evening (and all) threads. All were happy to hear from you. I’ll say again: Derp has a highly active page on the book of faces. He posts interesting shit frequently. I’m not sure if I’m at liberty to speak more. I assume I am, but. Eh. Seems proper to lean towards caution. (Involving *other* people. I treat my own safety with intelligently reckless conviction.)

    • Aloysious

      Derpy is on FaceDerp?

      We’ll, it is a bottomless pit of derp.

    • slumbrew

      Adorbs.

      And clever use of the collar.

  5. Gustave Lytton

    I also started writing military articles for think tanks. My own combat experiencemarital relationship helped me get my foot in the door

    • Evan from Evansville

      Single, never-married and no kids. Never even come close to either. My two long (4yr) relationships were with gals with no intention of having kids. (Still don’t. Small talk with one of them still.)

      I’m both blissfully enlightened and shamelessly naive. I am naive about the naiveties I’m naive to. Perhaps unburdened by them, if you will. I am unburdened from the burdens I’ve never borne.

      • Gustave Lytton

        A light loads makes an easier journey.

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