The Hat and The Hair 2024: Episode 2

by | Nov 20, 2024 | Hat and Hair 2024 | 180 comments

“100% percent he did it,” the hair said, watching Joe nervously running the zipper on his fleece up and down.

“Oh, no, yeah, he totally did that shit,” the hat said.

“WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?” Dark MAGA hat asked from Elon’s head.

“No one’s talking to you,” the hat said. “You aren’t real!”

“IS IT BECAUSE I’M BLACK?”

“No one is racist,” the hair told him.

“I am,” the hat said proudly.

“She’s still sort of hot, I guess,” Donald muttered as he watched Joe and Mika getting their make-up put on, a stereotypical gay man from central casting working on her, a small grim Asian woman on him.

“I wonder if she’s destined for the corner of a desk as well,” the hat wondered. “I like Joe more knowing that. Murdering interns is a time-honored event in nearly every politician’s career.”

“She’s wearing a zip-up too,” the hair said. “It’s Florida. It’s warm. I don’t get it.”

“Maybe they shipped them down here frozen,” the hat said. “Like Alien.”

“That movie hit a little too close to home for me,” the hat said.

“What does that mean?” the hair asked.

“I SAW ALIEN!” Dark MAGA said.

“You saw Alien: Romulus,” the hair said.

“Donald was asleep before the credits ended,” the hat said.

“I LIKED IT.”

The hat sniffed, “It was the Greatest Hits of the Alien franchise recorded by Kidz Bop. Total trash.”

“He’s just Elon’s hat,” the hair said.

“He’s not a hat,” the hat darkly. “I don’t know what he is.”

“We’re almost ready for the interview,” Joe and Mika’s producer said, keeping her distance. She worked the beads of her blue bracelet like a rosary.

Donald, the hat, and the hair all grunted in chorus.

“GRUNT,” the Dark MAGA hat grunted.

“I want a McRib, a perfect sandwich, just the best sandwich,” Donald said. “I demand a McRib.”

“Wait, Father,” Barron said. “I will find one for you. I will not fail you.”

“I fucking love that kid,” the hat said. The hair purred in pleasure.

McRibLocator.com says the closest McRibs are available in Daytona Beach, and Bradenton. I am sorry, Father. I have failed you.” The giant young man hung his head in shame.

“Nonsense, my son,” Donald said. “McDonald’s has failed the both of us. When I’m back in office, I will issue a magnificent Executive Order, the smartest Executive Order ever in the history of Executive Orders, that McDonald’s must always have McRib in every location all the time. Not having a McRib is a violation of every American’s right by honor. And hunger. Right by hunger.”

“Mr. President-Elect, your mic is hot,” the producer said.

“Good. I want America to know I will bring the best of the sandwiches to my people. I am the People’s President. I have the best relationship with McDonald’s. I worked there!”

Joe and Mika stared at Donald in dumbfounded horror.

“USA! USA! USA!” the hat and hair chanted together.

“THAT MEANS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,” Dark MAGA shouted.

“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!” the hat screeched.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

180 Comments

  1. db

    “You saw Alien: Romulus,” the hair said.

    The film that AI would make if you asked it to make an Alien movie.

    • EvilSheldon

      Is Jeff Foxworthy still available to do an “Are You Smarter Than A Crappy AI?” game show? Or did the coke finally catch up with him?

  2. Timeloose

    I’m not gonnna lie. I have used the McRib locator.

    “He’s not a hat,” the hat darkly. “I don’t know what he is.”
    Nice foreshadowing and possibly a PKD reference?

    Either way, splendid.

    Elon’s hat is overstating his welcome as well.

    • Mojeaux

      [small voice]I like McRibs.[/small voice]

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t remember what they taste like.

        Not casting aspersions, I last had one as a little kid.

      • SDF-7

        I had one a couple of years ago, I think — really lousy pressed pork(?) patty — the bbq sauce and the onions are what really make it. And since you can add those yourself to decent pulled pork at home, that’s been much more my go-to since I found that recipe and stopped worrying about having a decent smoker in the back yard.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Consistency wise, I prefer the “bbq pork patties” from Hungry Man frozen meals to the McRib version.

      • Timeloose

        There are better sandwiches out there, but it’s not bad. Sometimes marketing and fake scarcity works.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I believe that the patties used to be better.

        Chunked up rib meat with the accompanied gristle and fat.

        Now they’re more like rough cut hot dogs.

      • UnCivilServant

        I hate to break it to you Bobarian, but the meat was always “the other pork cuts that get cheap when production of holiday hams ramps up” not rib meat per se.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Mo, I am going to take the high road here.

        I will withhold any comments that a more petty person might make about the similarities between McRibs and KC BBQ.

    • SDF-7

      The real question is what eldritch entities created them both — because when hatter and anti-hatter collide, it won’t be good for the universe.

  3. EvilSheldon

    There are no confirmed McRibs within 100 miles of my current location. Knowing this is oddly pleasing.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I apparently have to go to Cincinnati.

    • slumbrew

      In the same vein, I was always oddly pleased that there are/were no Red Lobsters in New England.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re supposed to cook them first, then they turn red.

  4. The Other Kevin

    ““WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?” Dark MAGA hat asked from Elon’s head.”

    I have been waiting for this. Did not disappoint.

    • SDF-7

      “Proposition 32’s failure to pass is disappointing for all Californians who believe that everyone who works should earn enough to support their families,” said Kathy Finn, president of UFCW 770

      1) We call these Californians: Idiots. No one should “earn enough to support their families” regardless of the job, hours, etc…. I mean are you seriously saying the part-time Walmart greeter working 2 hours a day should?

      2) More seriously — we know full well while you union assholes want to keep bumping it. Your contracts are all multipliers / added onto the minimum wage. You’re just perpetually asking voters to give your members a raise, especially PubSec union ones. Who cares if everyone else is paying for it, right?

      “WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN? DON’T GO OFF-TOPIC OR WE’LL BLOCK YOU ON TWIX!”

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, its up their with their pitch about how some people make less than the average wage.

      • Fourscore

        Yeah, close to half, I’d bet.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Minnesoda Progressive Hawtness

        Information from the Minnesota DOC indicates that the pay for work of those incarcerated in the state ranges from 25 cents an hour to $2 an hour. Pay ranges are determined based on positive evaluations of work, along with limited “out time.” Looking specifically at MINNCOR workers – those working for the DOC’s MINNCOR Industries – only up to 20% of MINNCOR’s workforce are able to earn the pre-advanced pay range of $1.25 to $1.50 an hour, while only up to 10% of the MINNCOR workforce can earn at the advance pay range of $1.75 to $2 an hour. Most non-MINNCOR workers begin their pay scale at 25 cents an hour.
         
        What panelists said they are looking for is not an end to labor for people who are incarcerated, but for fair compensation and recognition of those who are working while incarcerated as workers. A bill advocated for by the End Slavery in Minnesota campaign, which all the panelists are involved in, would classify those imprisoned as workers with the right to employment.
         
        “We want people to work. We want people to gain skills. We just don’t want them to be paid 25 cents an hour or 50 cents an hour – inadequately, I should say – while doing it,” Allen said. “We hope that this movement will move towards everyone having a job at an adequate minimum wage so that they can provide the resources they need for their families, and that they can put those dollars aside so when they leave, they have something to stand on.”

        I can hardly wait for convicts to organize and start a union, so they can earn a living wage.

        If this were an honest discussion, I might be willing to listen. There may be a few nuggets of good in the idea of paying cons more than $.25/hr. The problem is that I doubt that this an honest argument. This is just the camel’s nose under the tent for some really bad ideas.

    • Nephilium

      Every White House dinner going forward.

      • SDF-7

        RFK Jr. would doubtless start finding somewhere else to be.

        Newsweek would doubtless have a cow. Forgotten artwork by the Dutch Master Deitz Nuützen would keep popping up….

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s no way those fries are still hot and crispy.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    WTF? Stupid fingers.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Donald should send Barron to Bradenton in Marine One to get McRibs.

    • The Other Kevin

      Oh, look which carrier is in the second part of that thread.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    “Maybe they shipped them down here frozen,” the hat said.

    MSNBC needs to watch every penny.

    • Bobarian LMD

      How much does it cost to keep them frozen until the next election cycle?

      They could probably crowd-fund it.

    • SDF-7

      Is it wrong that I actually kind of see Elon in the Dark MAGA Hat’s expression?

      • CPRM

        No, I’m glad it comes across. I did success at a thing!

    • Tonio

      NICE! Thanks for your artwork.

    • SugarFree

      It’s fabulous. It will get plenty of use. Thanks!

    • Gustave Lytton

      The hat of deportations and handmaiden outfits.

    • SugarFree

      For those that don’t Twix:

      • R.J.

        That’s beautiful.

      • Not Adahn

        Ugh. The black-on-black thing is soooo played out.

    • Tundra

      Perfection.

  8. Gustave Lytton


    “She’s wearing a zip-up too,” the hair said. “It’s Florida. It’s warm. I don’t get it.”

    Hair has never worked in an office building with women before.

    • Bobarian LMD

      H&H were just hoping to see her nips.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    McRibs look better before they’re sauced. And apparently the sauce is changing this year as well.

    December 3 is the official return date.

    • UnCivilServant

      “We need to cram in more hyper-fructose corn syrup.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        “It’s the highest fructose!”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Now with moar seed oil!

    • Nephilium

      That’s not how I remember it from when I worked there. Shaped sausage with ridges does not necessarily scream “tasty treat” to me.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Donald should require S Patula to live stream all of his shifts. Fucker hasn’t posted new content in months. It’s strangely satisfying to watch a competent well run, clean McDoanlds in action.

  11. Sensei

    “McRibLocator.com says the closest McRibs are available in Daytona Beach, and Bradenton. I am sorry, Father. I have failed you.” The giant young man hung his head in shame.

    Still easier to find than a working McFlurry machine.

    • Timeloose

      Good for him. Turning the Philly suburbs is a big win.

      On a snarky note, the deep V t-shirt is not doing him any favors. He should have consulted with the greybeard bass player for fashion sense.

    • The Other Kevin

      The only thing it was lacking was him finishing with “BITCHEZ!” and doing a mic drop.

  12. Tundra

    “OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!” the hat screeched.

    The Hat never, ever disappoints.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Spoiler: The Dark MAGA hat is the only one that other people can hear. It is driven by AI.

      When it achieves sentience, it will exile us all to Mars.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Not me, unfortunately

    René Magritte’s L’empire des lumières (The Empire of Light), executed in 1954, fetched 121.2 million tonight at Christie’s New York. The undisputed highlight of the MICA: THE COLLECTION OF MICA ERTEGUN Part I, the sublime painting surpassed the high estimate of $95 million and handily shattered the previous auction record of £59.4 million ($79.8 million) for a similar work, Le Principe du Plaisir (1937), set at Sotheby’s in 2022.

    One of my faves.

    • UnCivilServant

      I mean, the painting’s okay, but it’s not $121 Million okay.

    • DrOtto

      It’s no Hunter Biden.

  14. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    In my head I read the Dark MAGA Hat in Elon’s voice.

    • R C Dean

      For some reason, I read it in STEVE SMITH’S voice.

      No idea why.

  15. Not Adahn

    “He’s not a hat,” the hat darkly. “I don’t know what he is.”

    *DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES*

    • Bobarian LMD

      AI generated Personal Assistant.

      Clippy 2.0 with a mean streak.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Google Glasses gets taken over by ELONHAT!!

  16. Sensei

    The NYT takes the obligatory Trump swipe right in the first paragraph and first sentence. They really can’t help themselves.

    A 26-year-old migrant from Venezuela was convicted on Wednesday of murdering Laken Riley, a Georgia nursing student whose killing has been repeatedly cited by President-elect Donald J. Trump in his push for the mass deportation of millions of undocumented people.

    Venezuelan Migrant Found Guilty of Killing Laken Riley in Georgia
    https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/20/us/laken-riley-murder-trial-jose-ibarra-guilty.html

    Note the use of “migrant” as well in the headline.

    • UnCivilServant

      Do any of those carry the death penalty in Georgia? Are they going to put him down, or give him three hots and a cot indefinately?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Since there’s now some pushback on woke language, maybe we can do away with the term “undocumented people” and “undocumented immigrant”. The problem isn’t their lack of documents. The problem is that they came here illegally.

      • Tundra

        Invader?

      • Nephilium

        From a local story:

        “I understand deporting felons. I understand deporting criminals,” said Patrick Espinosa, who runs an immigration law firm, Sus Abogados Latinos (“Your Latino Lawyers”), out of Painesville, Ohio. “But at the same point, we’re going to spend billions of dollars on people that are actually adding to our society? Why don’t we give that money to our own citizens?”

        If they’re here illegally, aren’t they criminals?

      • UnCivilServant

        And given how many billions have been expended on services to these illegal aliens, it’s cheaper to punt them back.

      • B.P.

        The proper term in my neck of the woods is “newcomer.”

      • Nephilium

        B.P.:

        You know Sam Francisco?

      • Gustave Lytton

        They should be. But illegal entry apparently is just a civil, not criminal violation.*

        *I’m sure if it was criminalized, then that would slow the ratchet even further. Due process, representation, etc…

      • Suthenboy

        I will settle for ‘illegal alien’ but ‘invader’ or ‘trespasser’ is more accurate.

      • Not Adahn

        I thought the abogados were all controlled by the cartels these days.

      • UnCivilServant

        Except for Avigadro’s Avocado Abogados, they’ve got a number of them who are not cartel drupes, and are berry good.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Wetback.

    • B.P.

      Trump whipped up a nationwide nativist frenzy over one tiny little murder. There are no other data points.

      • Sensei

        I’m going to have to remember that line.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Symbolic treason

    And when asked if copying Trump’s wiggle constituted a political statement: “No, not at all,” Pulisic said. “It’s not a political dance. It was just for fun. I saw a bunch of people do it and I thought it was funny, so I enjoyed it. I hope some people did, at least.”

    ——-

    Some things are bigger than soccer, no matter how impressive the build-up to a goal was. The ramifications of Trump’s election will have an immeasurably greater impact on citizens of the nation that Pulisic represents — as well as those of the countries who serve as the USMNT’s opponents — than anything he or any player will accomplish on the pitch.

    U.S. Soccer didn’t appear to think it was particularly “funny”. Both clips of the Milan winger’s goal on the USMNT’s social media profiles abruptly stop as Pulisic crouches into his celebration. Broadcasters’ posts, however, captured the dance move and were therefore shared widely in all corners of these platforms.

    Whether Pulisic likes it or not, copying Trump’s gesture has transcended sports. Outlets across the political spectrum that seldom cover sports picked up on the fact that the most notable male soccer player from the United States co-opted the move.

    Social media accounts packaged the clip to serve their purposes — whether positioning Pulisic as a champion of the candidate who won the 2024 election’s popular vote, or admonishing him for paying tribute to a president-elect who has promised radical change that’ll be felt by many groups of people who aren’t heterosexual white men.

    He’s normalizing hate and oppression!

    • rhywun

      No matter how much I think I hate the MSM, I don’t hate them enough.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        No shit.

        Fuck off and go do some real journalism.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Are there special “Pompous Douchebaggery” classes in journalism school?

    • Sensei

      At Columbia I think it’s a prerequisite class.

      • Tundra

        I suspect most of those dweebs showed up with a great deal of expertise already.

      • R C Dean

        I thought the P.D. was their terminal degree.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      It’s just in the air they breathe.

    • slumbrew

      It’s mandatory for the “sports journalism” concentration.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    “But at the same point, we’re going to spend billions of dollars on people that are actually adding to our society? Why don’t we give that money to our own citizens?”

    Fuck off, you retard.

  20. Suthenboy

    “I demand a McRib”

    All of my respect for the man evaporated just like that.

    • cyto

      Mmm… i dunno about that. That sandwich taught me my favorite burger hack.

      Basically, when you weren’t in the mood for a burger, but you are having burgers (yes, this happened while camping in Wisconsin), chop some fresh onion, grab some pickle slices, drown the thing in BBQ sauce….. makes a damned fine substitute on the 4th consecutive day of burgers and brats 2 meals a day.

      • Tundra

        Thank you, Sean. Looks amazing.

      • Sean

        I have 2 jars in the fridge and 2 more in the pantry.

        I’m a fan. 🙂

      • Tundra

        What are your faves?

        The Cajun Blue Cheese and Ginger Snapped look pretty damn good!

      • Sean

        Original, Onion, and Bourbon are all tasty. I haven’t tried the BayBay or Baja.

        The Cajun Blue Cheese and Ginger Snapped look pretty damn good!

        LOL, those are the two in my fridge right now. Both are excellent. The Cajun Blue Cheese is my fav.

      • Tundra

        Gracias!

  21. R C Dean

    “Dark MAGA hat asked from Elon’s head.”

    *fist pump*

    And only three lines in.

  22. cyto

    I assume everyone has seen the bizarre Jaguar commercial that looks like Bennetton meets Barbarella in DEI-land. If not, someone please post the reference.

    Here is the explanation for how they thought this was a good idea: their head of branding strategy.

    https://x.com/TRobinsonNewEra/status/1859220552822538406?s=19

      • EvilSheldon

        Oh baby…

      • Ownbestenemy

        So trying to grab some of that YT/TikToker ‘infulencer’ monies?

      • Sensei

        At 2x the current prices. This should be “fabulous”!

    • rhywun

      Good grief. It just reeks of desperation at this point. Too late, dawg – people are tiring of it.

    • SDF-7

      Honestly, I would have pegged that for a HP printer commercial if no one had told me…

      Which I suppose says something about HP’s marketing over the years.

      • UnCivilServant

        At least if you’re selling color printers, brightly colored outfits can be argued to correlate to the product.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Heh…pegged.

    • Dr Mossy Lawn

      I went to high school with the son of Jag NA in the 80s-90s.

      https://coventryfoundation.org/foundation-staff-michael-dale/

      That was the era of the XJS, XK6, and XK12. He did say that the Ford acquisition gave them better access to parts providers to fix their classic electrical issues.

      My father had a XJ12, I picked up their 2001 X-type (The dealership in Paramus NJ had a statue of Winston Churchill in the lobby) . When I looked at the XK8 and XJ8 of 2003, I bought a Mercedes instead.. Jag just weren’t as good.

      When they merged the showrooms with Land Rover, the XJ line died, as in the same showroom there were Range Rovers at the same price with more space. I don’t know what they were doing with the F-Pace… the RR Velar and evoque were already in the smaller SUV space.. the F-type was the only thing left… they were never Rolls or Bentley level.. I think they could do a grand tourer sports-car, like Aston, I don’t see how a Sedan is useful in their lineup.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        They should have a very high end performance saloon, and a two seater just below super car level, two cars you can drive cross country in four days in total comfort.

        That is Jaguar, leave the SUV’s to Land Rover, but be part of the same family. Make it veddy, veddy British.

      • Tundra

        Cool resume there. I’ll bet Coventry in the 50s and 60s was an amazing place.

        Sad how many of the formerly great brands are boring appliances now. I saw an Aston SUV at the grocery store the other day and just shook my head,

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Well they have the market for genderqueers earning over 200K all locked up.

      However, with Trump’s win they should have gone with “Jaguar, a pussy you really can get your hands on.”

  23. Ownbestenemy

    Good people do exist

    • B.P.

      I was there. It was glorious.

      • Tundra

        Your boys are having a pretty good season.

      • B.P.

        Yes they are. Even though the Big XII is nothing to write home about this year, it beats the hell out of what I was watching a couple of years ago.

    • cyto

      Also…. how do you come up for parole after 13 years when the crime is murdering 77 people?

      • UnCivilServant

        Concurrant sentances?

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        currant

        Prison jelly doesn’t taste that good

      • EvilSheldon

        You do it in Norway. Not a joke.

      • cyto

        I’m not for mandatory minimums… but there does seem to be room for a sort of “rule of thumb”.

        Like maybe, 1 year served for each murder? I mean, it isnt like we are talking manslaughter, or negligent homicide… these are your movie nazi terrorist type murders… car bomb that killed 8 and injured hundreds, and went to a kids summer camp and opened fire, killing 69. I’d say 1 year each is probably warranted.

        Making the families drag themselves to court for this is not just pointless, but needlessly cruel.

      • SDF-7

        I fully endorse him being set free immediately — around about 70 degrees North latitude with what God gave him to survive. See how it goes.

    • Ownbestenemy

      If you are a mass murderer, it appears Norway is the place to do it

      Breivik was sentenced to the maximum civilian criminal penalty in Norway, which is 21 years’ imprisonment through preventive detention, allowing the possibility of one or more extensions for as long as he is deemed a danger to society.

      21 years for a car bomb and killing innocent people at a young adult retreat? Talk about a deal.

      • UnCivilServant

        I guess they bled all that bold blood away.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Agreed, he should have been quartered and sent to the four corners of the nation.

    • rhywun

      “Russian Z”

      wut

      • cyto

        Symbol used in Ukraine-Russia war for support for Russia. Z is for victory in Russian.

      • rhywun

        But that letter doesn’t exist in Russian.

        *tap tap tap*

        Oh, it’s some silly appropriation of the Latin letter. Okey dokey.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Maybe he admires Zorro.

  24. Suthenboy

    I am not sure what the Dems in Pennsylvania were thinking. They were openly attempting to cheat the election and what? Just send their guy to DC and everyone would pretend the guy was elected? Ignore the state Supreme Court and …what?

    • R C Dean

      “They were openly attempting to cheat the election and what? Just send their guy to DC and everyone would pretend the guy was elected?”

      Why not? It worked in 2020, didn’t it?

      • The Other Kevin

        They didn’t get the memo that this time, people are watching and have their own lawyers.

      • Sensei

        My friend lives in Bucks County, PA and is a member of the PA bar.

        I believe at least one of those lawbreakers on the election committee is a guild member. I want him to make an ethics complaint.

      • Drake

        Worked in AZ, NV, WI, CA, and MI.

      • cyto

        It absolutely worked in 2020, and the courts were all-in on aiding the cause.

    • rhywun

      Sure, why not. The potential reward is that great. And even if they get caught, nothing else happens.

      • Sean

        Perhaps, not this time.

    • Tundra

      That’s purty.

    • Suthenboy

      I agree that it is a very attractive automobile but the dummies put the steering on the wrong side. What the hell?

  25. Sean
    • Ownbestenemy

      Okay some confession time. We did that when Mrs OBE wanted to remove the toilet room door and give it to one of the teens cause their door was all messed up. I told her wasn’t gonna fit, but she insisted and as a dutiful husband, I complied even knowing it would be twice the work.

      Hence, why I can happily say we are celebrating 12 years today!

  26. Not Adahn

    I wonder if Dark MAGA is going to have a fight with The Girl With the Nazi Ray Eyes?

    • kinnath

      Automation that protects people from the consequences of their own negligence . . . . just promotes more negligence.

    • Sean

      I’m sure that harsh braking will be super fun in wet & snowy conditions.

      Wheee!

    • slumbrew

      So what you’re saying is always stay above 62 mph

      • Sean

        Smart.

    • Tundra

      Mission creep. I remember when Volvo came out with their first system. It was only meant to stop you from hitting the guy in front of you in stop and go.

      I thought it was lame then and I will not have a car with it.

  27. Sensei

    Jay Leno versus our current crop of entertainment snowflakes.

    Despite the fall, Leno performed just three hours later and did not cancel his stand-up shows. The comedian also took the stage in Beverly Hills on Nov. 18.

    Jay Leno shows up with bruised face and an eye patch to comedy show. What happened
    https://www.today.com/popculture/news/jay-leno-accident-rcna180918

    Broken wrist too.

    • slumbrew

      Jeez, Jay – after the 3rd or 4th time of jacking yourself up, I have to start thinking it’s not just bad luck.

      Might need to slow things down there.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    One industry group estimates that US automakers’ move to install AEB on most cars—something they did voluntarily, in cooperation with road safety advocates—will prevent 42,000 crashes and 20,000 injuries by 2025.

    According to my model…

    • kinnath

      We’ve had the Rogue for 5 years now. The automatic braking has come on only a few times. In all cases, it was because the sensor was frosted over and it slammed on the brakes when no one was in front of the car.

      I hate that fucking shit.

      • Sensei

        So you’re saying the car went rogue?

      • Sean

        The GTI deactivates the system when the front gets snow glazed. No false activations.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    The government estimated that installing more advanced AEB systems on its cars would cost an additional $350 per vehicle. The auto lobbying group estimates prices could range up to $4,200 per car instead

    Why are cars so expensive? It must be greedflation.

    • kinnath

      safety activists: ooh, ah, auto magic saves lives . . . .

      old engineer: Keep . . . It . . . Simple . . . Stupid!

    • Sean

      Evil profits!

    • Sensei

      Well the actual physical components cost $350.

      What do you mean R&D, software, maintenance, regulatory paperwork, spare part inventory, etc also cost money?

  30. The Other Kevin

    Mrs. TOK has Christmas music on for background noise. It’s funny how we have a Christmas song that basically says, “Mr. Grinch, you’re a real piece of shit.”

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      What is this anarchy?

      CHRISTMAS MUSIC SHOULD NOT BE PLAYED UNTIL AFTER THANKSGIVING!

      • The Other Kevin

        I would normally agree. But my kid and her husband will be here next week for only 10 days, and that will be our only holiday time with them. So the house is decorated and we’re in Christmas mode.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of smart buying decisions

    rospective car buyers considering an electric vehicle may need to act fast to get a Biden-era EV tax credit worth up to $7,500, due to the likelihood that President-elect Donald Trump and Republicans on Capitol Hill will axe those savings in tax negotiations next year, according to auto and legal experts.

    “There’s no question there’s real risk in the EV credit going away” in 2025, said Jamie Wickett, a partner at law firm Hogan Lovells who specializes in federal tax policy, energy and the environment.

    “If you’re a consumer in the market for an EV, I would without a doubt push that into 2024, if at all possible — whether an outright purchase or a lease — just to reduce the risk of the credit going away,” Wickett said.

    Act now, before it’s too late. That $7500 will totally make up for the depreciation and insurance.

    • Sean

      You have to spend money to save money.

      • The Other Kevin

        You’ll make it up in volume!

      • Suthenboy

        It’s true. I was gonna make a misogynistic joke but I will save it.

  32. Muzzled Woodchipper

    I’m sure many of us who travel the tube of You are at least familiar with The Comment Section With Brett Cooper. Her cadence is annoyingly fast, and she can absolutely become grating. But she is a bright, beautiful, young conservative woman with a large following. I won’t get into the content (which was fine), but her sponsor for that show….

    Silencer Shop.

    Fucking awesome. A smart, pretty, young conservative woman just gave me a full 1m 10s sermon on the wonders of shooting with suppressors, while espousing the importance of our 2A rights.