I, Soldier – part 34

by | Dec 2, 2024 | Fiction | 64 comments

Alexandra continued to get funding for NASA projects. I could tell she was proud of that, as she spoke often of the various spacecraft and missions that were being planned. It was hard to keep up with the Apollo program while it was underway, as I was busy with college and later the Army. The space race did interest me as a kid. Sputnik was visible with a telescope, and I remember building a crystal set radio to pick up its “beep beep beep” signal

I continued to write military articles for think tanks, though at a much-reduced pace. On the conventional side, I noted that the US military should greatly reduce airborne training given the high casualty rates from operations during WW2 as well the danger and expense of the training. It’s a great for getting attention and I admit to enjoying the sight of paratroopers descending en masse. And of course there was my own experience from Vietnam, though I suspect my success in that raid was due more to luck than anything else. No one wants to admit how often the outcome of a battle or war hinges on luck or unforeseen factors.

There was an amphibious landing during WW2 which failed because no one bother to check the phase of the moon, and so they miscalculated the tide. It was the Battle of Tarawa, I think. Because they overestimated the depth of the water, the landing crafts got stuck on the coral reef surrounding the island and the Marines had to wade several hundred yards to reach the shore, all the while under intense enemy fire. It was another one of those times when astronomy had military consequences. The exact event at Tarawa was an apogean neap tide, meaning the moon was at its apogee, or furthest point from the earth. There was another time during WW2 where a German submarine was able to take advantage of the opposite effect to enter a harbor and sink the HMS Royal Oak.

In the realm of nuclear strategy, I was critical of the nuclear triad, that is, bombers, submarines, and land-based missiles. I noted that deploying a warhead from a land-based missile was about one tenth the cost of doing the same with a bomber or a submarine, and that in any case, we had almost 40 times as many nuclear warheads as what could possibly be necessary, even for a full-scale nuclear war. In my article, I noted:


In 1957, Admiral Arleigh Burke, then the chief of naval operations, estimated that 720 warheads aboard 45 Polaris submarines were sufficient to achieve deterrence. This figure took into account the fact that some weapons would not work and that some would be destroyed in a Soviet attack (Burke felt that just 232 warheads were required to destroy the Soviet Union). At the time Burke made this estimate, the U.S. arsenal already held six times as many warheads.

Several years later, in 1960, General Maxwell Taylor, former Army chief of staff and future chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, wrote that “a few hundred” missiles (armed with a few hundred warheads) was adequate to deter the Soviet Union. Yet by this time the United States had some 7,000 strategic nuclear warheads.


If Japan was forced to surrender with just two relatively weak atomic bombs, then surely a few hundred much more powerful hydrogen bombs would have an even greater psychological effect. Furthermore, if the idea was to deploy as many warheads as possible, land-based missiles would be the most effective way.

I also wrote about the nuclear war maneuvers the Air Force conducted with bombers early on in the Cold War. Basically, large numbers of bombers were sent on practice bombing runs of American and European cities to test how well commanders could coordinate such operations. It’s interesting that the US inadvertently became the beginning of the Soviet bomber force after an American B-29 bomber ditched in the USSR during WW2 and was reverse-engineered by Soviet technicians. The Soviets went on to produce hundreds of such copies which they called the Tu-4.

I didn’t expect my articles would have much of an effect. Too many people were getting rich off our bloated military, and when that many people are getting a piece of the action, the gravy train keeps rolling. It was frustrating to see the same mistakes being made as during the Civil War, where repeating rifles and Gatling guns were slow to be introduced despite Lincoln’s orders. The established officers and military contractors stymied the reform.

There was an attempt in the 1950s to build a nuclear-powered bomber which could stay aloft for 120 hours at a time. JFK cut the funding to that project not long after taking office. By that time, it was clear that missiles and not bombers were the best tool for long-range nuclear attack. Unlike bombers or subs, land-based missiles require far less maintenance, and so all the expense of things like resupply at sea or port, aerial refueling, etc., is prevented.

Meanwhile, the Soviet strategy for undermining the US did not rely on nuclear weapons at all. Instead, they focused on propaganda and psychological warfare. They weren’t even much interested in espionage per se, as far as I could tell. The secret of nuclear weapons was lost to them during WW2, and that was the most important one we had.

By the time Reagan got elected a few years later, I all but given up on writing military articles, as I was sure they would fall on deaf ears. I do remember criticizing Reagan’s so-called Strategic Defense Initiative as a provocative boondoggle and a technological pipe dream. In the press, the idea was derided as “Star Wars”. It was one of the few times I agreed with the media on a military matter or even in general.

About The Author

Derpetologist

Derpetologist

The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp, Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy

64 Comments

  1. The Bearded Hobbit

    Another purpose of the triad was to put nuclear weapons in all three branches; nuclear submarines, air-dropped bombs, and ground-based missiles. Early on the Air Force said, “missiles fly, therefor we will control them” making that aspect of the triad into a biad.

  2. R.J.

    Star Wars diverted research on the free-electron laser from potential cancer research into useless military boondoggle.

    • rhywun

      Warms my heart-cockles.

    • Sensei

      It would be nice if they explained why the town won’t let him move his business to the commercially zoned property.

      • cyto

        It is TV media. Narratives must be simple. Really really simple.

        One might suppose that a neighbor is connected and doesn’t want a recycling business down the street. Or maybe his landlord is connected and doesn’t want to lose the rent.

      • cyto

        But that would require more reporting than talking to the guy and his lawyer and flagging down 10 cars passing by.

  3. Derpetologist

    That time a Soviet general thanked America for Studebaker trucks:

    https://www.rbth.com/history/333156-how-us-studebaker-became-soviet

    ***
    The Soviet Union was truly grateful to the makers of the miracle truck. On Jan. 5, 1945, Lieutenant General Leonid Rudenko, head of the USSR Government Procurement Commission in the U.S., presented the Studebaker Corporation with a photo album entitled “The Studebaker on the Soviet-German Front” with images showing how the truck served the Soviet Union. Today, it is housed in the archives of the Studebaker National Museum in South Bend, Indiana.
    ***

    Huh, it’s almost like the Russians want to be our friends or something. Maybe we should let them?

  4. creech

    This pardon shit has horrified any number of Democrat leaders. I bet they wished they had 25th the JoeJill administration back in June.

    • Brochettaward

      Do you really believe any of the Dems are “horrified” by Biden’s conduct or wouldn’t do the same? They’re all scum. Same goes for the Republicans commenting on it. It’s just a matter of team and what’s best for their own electoral chances.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        Bro is right! Neither you nor I would get the same treatment. This isextreme bullshit.

        Is Hunter Biden better than me or you? Nah, he’s a fuck up sent to deliver some 10% to the big guy. He’s the bagman meant to carry the money to his dad.

        The whole system is fucked. Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Greenies. They all want nothing but power.

        It is poor civic hygiene to allocate power to people most apt to benefit from it.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        Bro is right! Neither you nor I would get the same treatment. This isextreme bullshit.

        Is Hunter Biden better than me or you? Nah, he’s a fuck up sent to deliver some 10% to the big guy. He’s the bagman meant to carry the money to his dad.

        The whole system is fucked. Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Greenies. They all want nothing but power.

        It is poor civic hygiene to allocate power to people most apt to benefit from it.To think that yio

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        To think you can vote your way out of this shit is insane. This is woodchipper territory. This is lamppost territory. This is tar and feathers territory. This is why the 2A was invented.

      • Chafed

        I was told it’s double comment territory.

      • rhywun

        The founding fathers are spinning in their graves at how the document they specifically wrote to avoid the current situation has been shit upon.

    • creech

      I meant to put horrified in quote marks “horrified”. They say so for public consumption. Behind the scenes, they all want the corruption machine to roll on and are happy to see it is possible to get away scot free.

    • R C Dean

      I can’t imagine being so naive or clueless as to believe Joe when he said he wouldn’t pardon Hunter. I really don’t think any of these Dem leaders are “surprised” or “horrified” or anything like that.

  5. Derpetologist

    So shines a good deed in a weary world:

    https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2015/11/23/in-running-toward-danger-true-tales-of-scouts-saving-lives/

    ***
    “An estimated 3 to 5 million people — the equivalent of a city the size of Houston and Chicago — are alive today in the U.S. because they, or one of their parents and grandparents, had their life saved by a Boy Scout,” Scott says. “No volunteer lifesaving program … has had such an impact on a country.”
    ***

    Nearly brought a tear to the eye of this Eagle Scout…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwGNVUgKbUc

    • Pope Jimbo

      How many millions of people are scarred today because they, or one of their parents and grandparents was molested by a scout leader?

      Scout Leaders vs. Catholic Clergy? There can be only one!

      • Gustave Lytton

        *School teachers have entered the chat*

    • Ownbestenemy

      Equally eye candy

      • Chafed

        Those Ridgid ads are great on video.

      • Pope Jimbo

        OBE Benny is a genius. He might also make decent music. I’m not sure because I’m always redirecting the parts of my brain that normally process auditory input to supplement occular processing.

  6. Ownbestenemy

    Exit polls I would have liked to see.

    Did Rich Men of Richmond have any impact on your vote?
    Not being able to let your kid go to the corner store, how did that impact your vote?
    Knowing your kids that you had during the start of the Iraq/Afghan war could serve or have been serving for a couple of years, did that impact your vote?

  7. Ownbestenemy

    Well…YT has offered up something odd. I will accept it.

  8. Ownbestenemy

    One of the first spinning videos I showed my kids.

    I mean..come on man.

    • slumbrew

      All time great.

      Have you seen Scratch? Great documentary, saw it in the theater (which makes me old – 2001? WTF?)

      Looks like the whole thing is available:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8aMMpoSUSQ

    • Chafed

      WTF was that?

    • UnCivilServant

      They’re not spinning. There’s no fibers, no thread, no textiles.

      Lame.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It was late and my mind couldn’t produce scratch and so it went to the next thing which was spin.

  9. UnCivilServant

    This is another reason not to do business with you Target – “Ordered Dec 3” “Estimated Delivery – Jan 2”.

    I get that it’s the holiday season, but a month is 1980s timetables, and you didn’t even offer to sell me faster delivery.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Backordered at the supplier and Target doesn’t display that info?

  10. UnCivilServant

    Morning.

    Insomnia sucks.

    • Sean

      Just like Winston’s mom.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I fought it for decades and finally gave in and bought a THC vape about a year ago. It works wonders with two puffs about an hour before bed if you can do it. Sleepy and nodding off at night and no after effects in the morning; gummies work well too if you’re opposed to inhaling stuff.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m opposed to drugging myself to sleep.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Nyquil works well. Just a couple tabs every night. Keeps my sinuses clear all winter too.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No doubt, diphenhydramine will certainly pummel your brain into submission.

    • UnCivilServant

      Are you trying to get people to beg your pardon?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and U!

      Better depardonable than deplorable, I guess? 🤷‍♀️

      • Gender Traitor

        …and you too, Stinky!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Guten Morgen

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Belly eh? Man do I miss the ‘90s.

      • Ted S.

        Belly eh? Can’t you just look down?

    • rhywun

      Sooo good 🎶

  11. Gender Traitor

    There’s a dusting of snow on the ground and, of course, on my car. At least it’s easier to get off the windshield than frost. I guess I’ll take it.

  12. Ownbestenemy

    Three years ago, a large subset of people was okay with the notion that about 25-30% of FedGov and contractors could potentially be fired for not participating in Biden’s vaccine mandate but mention we should get rid of 25-30% (low balling here) of deadweight and people are up in arms.

    Really is all about narrative.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Good points.

    • Suthenboy

      Good morning all.
      Yep OBE, it is almost like these people do. not argue in good faith.