The Hat and The Hair 2024 – Episode 4

by | Dec 11, 2024 | Hat and Hair 2024 | 190 comments

“Oh, Canada,” the hat sighed.

“Stop, just stop,” the hair said.

“Land of the unfree, home of the unbrave,” the hat trilled.

“Jesus,” the hair spat in disgust.

“From the heroin-washed shores of Vancouver to the heathen French of Montreal, I will save you,” the hat said dreamily.

“Why Canada?” the hair asked.

“Lebensraum,” the hat replied. “Or Manifest Destiny, if you insist on being a fag about it.”

“So, the whole continent?”

“Well, not Mexico. That place is a shithole.”

“But why one country run by a communist and not the other?”

“Donald can handle Castro’s son,” the hat said, brimful with confidence.

“And not Sheinbaum?”

“In my country, we would keep the communism in the tortilla people, the Mexicans. They’re beaners anyway, so let them lose their souls.”

“Jesus,” the hair said again. “Will you just listen to yourself?”

“How can I not listen to myself?” the hat asked angrily.

“What if you were deaf?” the hair replied hotly.

“I’m not deaf, asshole!”

“Don-neld? Don-neld?” Melania called from the hallway. “We must do the discussions on the White House!”

Donald jolted awake. “Can’t even get a damn nap,” he grumbled. “And I’m the best napper.”

“Quick, Donald!” the hat whispered. “Hide under your desk!”

“I’m not scared of her,” Donald said. “Just bored.”

“What do you wants for the Residence?” Melania said, stalking into the room, all cheekbones and heels.”

“I don’t care,” Donald said. “Do what you want.”

“You are livings there as well,” she said.

“Just get the old man smell out,” Donald said. “You know he’s pissed on every chair and mattress in the place.”

“Don-neld,” Melania said in exasperation.

“And burn anything Hunter sat on,” Donald said. “Bare-ass in a man-thong. What the damn hell?”

“I theenks is was a jock-straple,” Melania said.

“Bare-ass is bare-ass!’ Donald said.

“It is,” the hat said. “It really is.”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

190 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    So, give it the British treatment (of 1814)?

    • SDF-7

      Only if you promise to include the Capitol as well.

  2. Not Adahn

    “Bare-ass is bare-ass!’ Donald said.

    Ayn Rand approves.

    • Not Adahn

      Objectively, I should have closed that tag.

      • SDF-7

        You thought about it — and shrugged.

      • Spartacus

        No. Closing the tag would be an expenditure of time on your part solely to assist your fellow man. This is altruism, which is forbidden in Randland.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        RandLand sounds like a theme park.

      • SDF-7

        Stay away from the “Neighbor’s Lawn Wrestling Pit”.

      • Spartacus

        It’s a theme park where there are no rules, but the “Line Forms Here” sign is 78 pages long.

      • Ted S.

        [ Ayn Rand writes a chapter on why the people who don’t close their tags deserve to die ]

      • Nephilium

        ZWAK:

        Definitely don’t take a date to RandLand.

      • PutridMeat

        Definitely don’t take a date to RandLand.

        Unless you’re a Fox News reader and she’s an intern; she might be into that kind of rough stuff.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You must read this long to ride this ride.

      • Fourscore

        At las, you people get it

      • bacon-magic

        I will not live my life for another nor sit on a chair that was violated by a bare ass.

  3. WTF

    “Just get the old man smell out,” Donald said. “You know he’s pissed on every chair and mattress in the place.”

    That’s not even fiction.

    • SDF-7

      Dammit.. that was going to be my reply about Hunter and his man-thong. Between that and the cocaine, I expect he tore up the place.

  4. Ed Wuncler

    “Lebensraum,” the hat replied. “Or Manifest Destiny, if you insist on being a fag about it.”

    I mean if we are going to start invading countries in our Hemisphere, why don’t we invade Haiti and just rename it South Florida? Then we can send Florida Man, Florida Woman, and Chik Fil-A to turn the country from a shithole to a beacon of light in the Carribean for the New American Manifest Destiny.

    • R.J.

      Because Gay North Dakota is a name which must become real.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        GayDak?

      • Rat on a train

        Saskatchewan needs to be renamed Norther Dakota. Manitoba can be Gay North Dakota.

    • UnCivilServant

      The only way you can turn a shithole into a non shithole is if you exterminate all the people who are making it a shithole.

      I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, Haiti isn’t worth genociding anyone over.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Our family friend is from Haiti and she’s in her early 70’s now. We asked if she would ever go back there to visit family and friends since she’s getting older, and she responded that they would have to kidnap her before she would ever step foot back into that country again.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Excuse me, but if I kill all the Floridians Snow Birds, they’ll lock me up and throw away the key.

    • db

      You forgot Waffle House. If we’re going to annex the Americas, we at least owe them a competent disaster recovery agency.

      • Ed Wuncler

        Haiti has a million of natural disasters, so the Waffle House could be their version of FEMA but more competent.

      • SDF-7

        He didn’t want their populace to scatter or for the Floridians to smother their initiative. That about covered it.

      • Nephilium

        Replace FEMA with Waffle House?

        I’m intrigued, and would support this.

      • Bobarian LMD

        And then we were peppered with puns?

      • Fourscore

        Well, you gotta break a few eggs….

  5. db

    “What if you were deaf?” the hair replied hotly.

    “I’m not deaf, asshole!”

    The Hat fails the Breakfast Test?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    “Lebensraum,” the hat replied. “Or Manifest Destiny, if you insist on being a fag about it.”

    There’s a reason we didn’t take that place over when we had the chance.

    • SDF-7

      Wait… when did we have the chance? Mexico, sure… we could have annexed all of it. But Canada we only fought in 1812-1814 and they held their own pretty well against several attempts to “finish” the Revolution on our part.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        1844 dude! We practically owned the whole west coast. 52-forty or fight!

      • SDF-7

        Eh… given the bulk of their population and country was back in the East — that’s more than a little bit of a stretch for me, sorry.

      • juris imprudent

        52-forty

        Missed it by that much.

      • Gustave Lytton

        54-40. We want all of American Columbia. Make Point Roberts contagious again!

      • Rat on a train

        Keep Point Rogers quarantined. You don’t want what they have.

      • Rat on a train

        In 1865, the US had a large, experienced military.

      • rhywun

        Missed it by that much.

        I mean, come on.

  7. R.J.

    “Can’t even get a damn nap,” he grumbled. “And I’m the best napper.”

    I sympathize.

  8. DEG

    “And burn anything Hunter sat on,” Donald said. “Bare-ass in a man-thong. What the damn hell?”

    I wonder if that would mean Cracky residuals burning and therefore contact highs?

    • R.J.

      I would think so. Every touch of a lavatory handle in the White House could mean an overdose.

  9. Tundra

    Melania said, stalking into the room, all cheekbones and heels.

    I will admit to looking forward to four more years of her.

    • Ed Wuncler

      She easily became one of my favorite First Ladies when she responded to doing the White House Christmas Decorations with who gives a shit about doing this stuff? She doesn’t seem to even want to get involved with policy or give her advice which was a departure from the previous first ladies.

      • SDF-7

        Or a return to form pre-Eleanor / Judith, really.

      • slumbrew

        I’ll be curious if any of the fashion mags finally put the first actual ex-model First Lady on their cover this time around.

        It’d be a sign of things thawing a bit in the culture wars.

        I’m not going to hold my breath, though – better chance of Frau Doktor Professor Jill being on the Vogue cover again before Melania

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Ano what you mean!

      • slumbrew

        Nice.

      • Tundra

        So pretty.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Meh. You can see dozens of better looking women in an hour just walking down the street in any eastern European city.

      • slumbrew

        How many of them are once and future First Ladies?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        By First Lady standards she’s pretty hot. She’s no Barbara Bush though.

      • slumbrew

        * slides away from Jaime *

      • bacon-magic

        Barbara Bush ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

      • Fourscore

        “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
        ― Barbara Bush

    • R C Dean

      That description of Melania – poetry.

  10. Timeloose

    “In my country, we would keep the communism in the tortilla people, the Mexicans. They’re beaners anyway, so let them lose their souls“

    Nice Beanfather reference.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      So the drugs would be allowed but regulated?

    • juris imprudent

      Of course that means Barron plays the part of Michael Corleone.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Don Jr as Sonny
        Eric as Fredo
        Ivanka as Connie

        Which leaves Tiffany. What part does she play?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Donald Jr is Fredo and Ivanka is Sonny, the hothead.

  11. PutridMeat

    Apropos of the brief discussion of the new ‘dietary’ ‘guidelines’ in ded thred, Teicholz’ write up/summary here (I think it’s not behind a paywall…)

    Since implementing them will fall to the new admin and they are free to ignore the entire report if they want, one hopes they will do so.

    • Tundra

      Thanks. That was quite good.

      I hope RFK2 brings her in for advice.

    • juris imprudent

      Got me to wander off to find the definition of UPF, and here was the answer:

      There is no single, universally agreed definition for ultra-processed foods.

      Of course, it gets better…

      Some processing – including some processing used in ultra-processed foods – can play an important role in food safety or nutrition, or in making food cheaper.

      and finally,

      While there is a correlation between poorer health outcomes and diets that are high in ultra-processed food, we still don’t know whether it is because these foods are unhealthy because of how they are made, or if it’s because a large majority of processed foods are high in calories, saturated fat, salt and sugar.

      No, I’m quite certain that calories has nothing to do with it. Nope, not at all.

      • Nephilium

        Notice that at the same time the media is railing against ultra-processed food, they’re pushing all of the vegan meat substitutes, that are by definition ultra-processed.

      • PutridMeat

        Re: Definition of UPFs. Correct. And in fact, Teicholz makes exactly that observation in the linked article and in others. As does Gary Taubes and cautions against getting ahead of the scientific evidence. That said, for me, I stay away from things that will commonly fall under the rubric of ultra-processed – not because of the ultra processed moniker, but because of the inclusion of lots of sugar, various industrial by-product oils, soy-this and soy that.

        No, I’m quite certain that calories has nothing to do with it

        Not nothing, but much less than you are sarcastically suggesting. I think the evidence is very strong that obesity and metabolic disfunction is an energy-partition problem, not a calorie issue. The calorie excess in ‘upfs’ is not a problem because of the mere number – humans have no bomb-calorimeters inside us, no calorie sensors – but because of the source of said calories and what other sorts of knock on effects the processing of those calories will impact our metabolic system. I’ll eat 2000 calories a day of steak (well, maybe not, that would be pretty difficult – which already points to an advantage of, for lack of a better term, ‘real food’) rather than 1000 calories of sugar, soy protein, and industrial by-product fats and be infinitely more healthy for it.

      • juris imprudent

        PM, calories is most of it – not all. And metabolism changes – I don’t eat like I did in my 30s, when I also ran 3-4 miles a day, at least 5 days a week.

      • PutridMeat

        calories is most of it

        Depends on what you mean by ‘most of it’. The type of calorie (or more properly, the carrier of the calorie since a calorie is simply defined by burning something completely and measuring the change in temperature induced in a standard amount of water) is *the* important issue. Not the number. You can eat 5000 calories of cardboard per day and will starve to death. A type-1 diabetic can eat 10000 calories a day of ‘real’ food and will starve to death.

        Simply counting the number of calories means nothing without accounting for bio-availability, the hormonal impact a given ‘food’ will have during the digestive process on other systems, etc., e.g. the whole (COMPLEX) human metabolic system.

        And Re: your metabolic rate – it’s been conclusively demonstrated that certain diets will increase metabolic rate by as much as the equivalent of 300 calories per day. You metabolic rate *is* impacted by the food you eat, not only by aging (less growth demand, hence less energy requirement).

        So I’m not saying calories don’t matter, they absolutely do. But the number is not the critical factor, at all – I infer that’s what you are implying given the context of your original comment, apologies if that’s not the case. That will take care of itself if you eat, for lack of a better term, the ‘correct’ type of calorie.

      • R C Dean

        I have this sudden craving for a donut.

      • Tundra

        Thanks, Mr. Meat, you saved me a lot of typing.

        Calories in, calories out is attractive in its simplicity but it has nothing to do with getting healthier. As you said, it’s not just a question of protein, carbs and fat but the composition of them. You can get protein from plant sources, yes, but they are missing many important nutrients, particularly amino acids.

        Food is the root of most of our health problems. Eating industrially engineered food will eventually fuck you up. Eating foods that keep inflammation down and blood sugar stable will pay big dividends.

      • juris imprudent

        Fine. Most people just eat too much – far more than what their metabolism demands. If I ate the way I once did, I’d probably weigh 300 lbs because I don’t burn off what I used to.

      • juris imprudent

        And I’m shit fed up with UPF and every OTHER excuse for people not having the common sense that god supposedly granted them to figure it out.

      • PutridMeat

        Fine. Most people just eat too much

        True, and tautological. Why do they eat too much? Which direction does the arrow of causality go?

        And your notion of ‘common sense’ is never going to beat millions of years of evolutionary physiological adaptation that will cause everyone to ‘eat too much’ when every bit of advice and every recommendation one gives in the arena of nutrition *creates* the conditions that will short-circuit and subvert that adaptation.

      • Tundra

        The fucking foods are designed to tap into that evolutionary adaptation. Every time there is a head to head comparison between whole foods and engineered foods the people eat way more calories.

        It’s tempting to blame people for their supposed shortcomings, but this is a complex problem.

      • PutridMeat

        craving for a donut

        Ultra-processed euphemism?

      • juris imprudent

        MAGA – make appendix great again!

      • PutridMeat

        make appendix great again!

        I’m not sure what the point is (honestly!)? If it’s something about vestigial and evolution, I get the chance to link to NPR!. Sorry.

      • juris imprudent

        I don’t think you are arguing that UPF is to food what menthol cigarettes, flavored vapes, etc. are – at least I trust you aren’t. But this argument about how we eat – and the extent of influence (either corporate or government) – sure leans in the direction of experts must tell the common people because the common people can’t be expected to know (or just simply snowed under by the avalanche of advertising and taste-trickery).

      • PutridMeat

        sure leans in the direction of experts must tell the common people because the common people can’t be expected to know

        I’ll settle for the ‘experts’ and government just shutting up. They already fucked things up with the McGovern commission. Much of the bad stuff in our modern nutrition is directly attributable to government action, whether with the influence, collusion, or other wise with food industry. Frankly I don’t care – I have nothing to fear from ‘big food’ (or Pfizer etc) – I only have to fear when the state sticks their big nose in.

        I have been concerned of late with the push back against the absolute disaster that has our food supply over the last 60-ish years. There’s a lot of indication – looking at you Calley Means, RJK – that what we really need is for the RIGHT stuff to be forced on us (in fairness, I’m convinced it IS the right stuff). No – just shut the fuck up. Leave researches alone, don’t put your fingers on the scale and require this or that by force of law and censor opposing views. It will get sorted.

        And then a unicorn came by and farted on me.

      • Tundra

        Passing the PRIME Act would be massive. And I’m OK with some aggressive banning of chemicals and livestock “medications.”

        Regenerative ag is a proven winner and we badly need more of it.

      • PutridMeat

        Passing the PRIME Act would be massive

        Hunnert percent in agreement.

        And I’m OK with some aggressive banning of chemicals and livestock “medications.”

        Reflexively against banning, but open to the argument. I’d be happier with remove requirements on ‘medication’ (AND STOP TRYING TO INTRODUCE MORE!! I’m looking at you Bovaer(tm)) and remove the subsidies and regulations that make mono-cropping and the attendant chemical use almost a necessity to be successful at farming on at scale.

        wrt to ‘open to the argument’ – the idea (that I still cling to) that tort law for genuine harms from, e.g. chemicals, is feasible… I’m just not sure it is anymore given our court systems seeming willingness to entertain any tort, no matter how ridiculous, to punish wrong thinkers. Coupled with the strict adherence to ‘standing’ when it comes to government actors (e.g. the exact inversion of how it should work), I’m not sure the court system is up to handling it.

        Regenerative ag is a proven winner and we badly need more of it.

        I think removing regulations and subsidies would go along way to making that feasible.

        (looks over at pile of work still leering at me… Nope, casting my swine before pearls on line has not made it go away. Rats)

      • Jarflax

        Other than providing courts in which I can sue someone who negligently (or more deliberately) sells me contaminated food I fail to see a government roll in my diet. All this nonsense about FDA or USDA, or whatever alphabet agency is weighing in now, guidelines annoys me. Yes, of course they were based purely on which group of lobbyists paid the most, not science, that’s how the whole damn thing works, and always has. But I am deeply skeptical that those guidelines had a damn thing to do with us getting fat. We got fat because sitting in front of a screen in air-conditioning is comfortable and pizza and ice cream taste better than kale. I know I have never for one second considered the guidelines when shopping or looking in my fridge.

      • PutridMeat

        But I am deeply skeptical that those guidelines had a damn thing to do with us getting fat.

        Partially, but I think you undersell their pervasiveness. You may never have considered them when you went shopping (subconsciously even? Whole grain this, fat free yogurt that?), but the food items you have to choose from (absent staying on the outside rim of the store) certainly do. Your school cafeteria certainly did. The government programs for the poors certainly did. The constant propaganda and legal framework facing the food industry around ‘healthy’ food certainly did. We are the fish that aren’t aware of the water we are swimming in.

    • Q Continuum

      “the Secretaries are legally required to issue dietary guidelines”

      Why?

      • PutridMeat

        H.R.1608, the 1990 National Nutrition Monitoring and Related Research Act.

        So another thing we need Congress to act on. Now where did that unicorn go?

  12. Gustave Lytton

    I bet Trump gets suited up to go to the bathroom.

  13. UnCivilServant

    I’ve got my four people who’ve agreed to be a character reference. Now, I can’t let myself procrastinate because I can’t use that excuse any more. Now I just have to figure out how to phrase the response to the “Why do you want to be armed, criminal scum?” question on the form in a manner that will get approved, and a list of activities that won’t get a reaction of “you don’t need general carry for that”.

    Maybe I should get a hunting license just to answer “yes” there and add that to the list of things I shoot for.

    • EvilSheldon

      Right: “Self-defense and all other lawful putposes.”
      Wrong: “Kappin’ off suckas.”
      Extremely Wrong: “Kappin’ off this sucka in particular – (name and address omitted)

      • UnCivilServant

        We’re talking New York, ‘self defense’ is more likely to get you rejected.

      • Not Adahn

        I believe that was what I was told to write, verbatim.

        I’d assume you’ll probably use them most often for sporting/competition purposes, at least by round count.

      • UnCivilServant

        Ideally, I’d have to fire 0 rounds for self-defense.

      • Not Adahn

        Obviously we know what your first handgun is going to be, but what color Shadow 2 will you be getting?

      • UnCivilServant

        I donno, does it come in Candy Apple Red?

      • EvilSheldon

        “We’re talking New York, ‘self defense’ is more likely to get you rejected.”

        ‘Self-defense’ or some variant thereof, is the only thing that will get you an unrestricted permit rather than a general.

        “I donno, does it come in Candy Apple Red?”

        Your new grips. Make sure to get the Glibs logo engraved.

        I don’t know how a full-coverage Cherry Red paint job would look in the end, but if you can imagine it, your local Cerakote butcher can make it happen!

      • R C Dean

        Nothing feels right quite like a sugarless link in a SugarFree post.

      • Timeloose

        Kicks? Scaring your dog’s playmates and owners?

        At my local shop there is a person who routinely will walk in and while in mixed company ask one of the salesmen or owner:

        Which of these would be best for a church picnic?
        Which one will minimize my shortcomings?
        Etc.

      • slumbrew

        “family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the king of England out of your face!”

    • Sensei

      In the People’s Republic of NJ recreation is a valid reason.

    • Sean

      My PA LTCF says “self defense”.

      • R C Dean

        My (optional) AZ permission slip just says “concealed carry”.

    • Bobarian LMD

      “I want to perform vigilantism on public transit, and I don’t feel that my choke-hold is good enough to be depended on. And I don’t want to get my gloves dirty.”

    • Gender Traitor

      “Fight back against a tyrannical state government” might be a counterproductive response. Maybe “defend female relatives from deportation to Trump’s Handmaid camps”?

      • rhywun

        “Abortion clinic defense”

    • R C Dean

      I guess “FYTW” would probably not be a successful strategy.

    • R.J.

      “Carrying a pistol for self defense and hunting is much easier than carrying a two handed broadsword.”

  14. Ed Wuncler

    I know this is a bit off topic but whenever someone complains about what Israel is doing to the Palestinians in Gaza, I always want to ask…. what was Israel’s response supposed to be after the events of October 7th? Where they supposed to just sit on their hands and hope that Hamas would eventually stop killing their citizens? Like what was their response supposed to be in a situation when your citizens where slaughtered, kidnapped and even raped? And what makes it worse is that many people who I call friends, have basically handwaved the atrocity and even without explicitly saying it, that Israeli citizens had it coming for all the years of oppression. It depresses me to be honest.

    • Mojeaux

      It doesn’t matter. People who hate Israel/Jews will just say they deserved it and they need to shut up, sit down, and take it.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ll add this: [[[We]]] have a cultural crush on Judaism/Jews/Israel, and so I NEVER heard of current (as opposed to historical) anti-semitism or Jew hatred until I was over 20. I couldn’t/can’t wrap my head around it.

      • rhywun

        I couldn’t/can’t wrap my head around it.

        To me it’s evidence that propaganda is everywhere and it works. There are videos out there of folks asking campus anti-Jew protestors to explain their rationale and they can’t do it. They just “know” they’re right.

      • R C Dean

        “Jews are bad, mm’kay.”

      • Q Continuum

        (((We))) control everything doncha know. It’s why we’ve been pogromed, genocided and exiled from every country on Earth* because in spite of our omnipotence, we are powerless against bigoted knuckledraggers and 7th century illiterate savages.

        *save the US, for now anyway

      • Mojeaux

        because in spite of our omnipotence, we are powerless against bigoted knuckledraggers and 7th century illiterate savages.

        It would help if the Jew Dems would stop voting Dem.

    • Not Adahn

      “Depose that fascist Trumpalo Bibi. “

    • The Other Kevin

      The response was supposed to be a few missile strikes and raids, then back to business as usual. Just continue the dance and ignore the major escalation.

    • Nephilium

      They were supposed to surrender to Hamas, and agree to a two state solution. Then they were supposed to just quietly die so that they would no longer be polluting the middle east with their “European” presence.

      • UnCivilServant

        When it was on the table, it was not the Israelis who rejected the two state solution.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I live near a couple of synagogues and Hebrew schools and they each have an armed officer sitting outside because of the threats they’ve received from activists.

        I sympathize with the Palestinian people but everyone’s anger at their situation would be best to target their anger towards the Palestinian Authority and Hamas which have taken a buttload of foreign aid and used it to control and starve their people while enriching themselves.

      • Ed Wuncler

        They don’t want their own nation because they know that it would be a total failure. They need the Israeli as a means of diversion from their own fuckery and they want access to the Israeli infrastructure and money without having to do anything for it.

      • Nephilium

        Ed:

        On the other side of town, I’m by a mosque. No guards there, also they have not been doing any protests/marches/pro-Palestinian items (at least visible from the street) yet. Don’t know if you’ve been following the CWRU story, but I think it shows pretty clearly who the aggressors are.

        At this point is there even a difference between Hamas and the Palestinian Authority?

        The UN and aid agencies haven’t been doing themselves any favors either with the amount of employees who just happen to have Hamas ties (and happen to have locations that have been weapon depots).

    • EvilSheldon

      Did you see the recent Critical Drinker clip on See No Evil? Not directly on point, but a good illustration of the unpleasant fact – a lot of people will literally do anything, or allow anything to be done to them, to avoid having to defend themselves (physically, mentally, or emotionally.)

    • creech

      I’ve had some of these types suggest that proper response was to unleash Mossad death squads against Hamas leaders and fighters on a targeted basis instead of bombing indiscriminately. That might have taken a lot longer but wouldn’t have stirred up ” genocide” no sense.

      • rhywun

        wouldn’t have stirred up ” genocide” no sense

        “Sure, Jan.”

        The fact is, the hordes were itching for some Jew hate and Oct. 7 was the signal to unleash it.

        It was the exact same effect as after George Floyd.

        Same groups organizing it, too. Which is how you get the whole antifa spiel at all these events too.

      • Drake

        Sorry, but sure looks like an ethnic cleanse. Is there a building left standing?

    • UnCivilServant

      I would have to see the results of a mental evaluation.

      Or at least his recent case history to see if his rulings are sound.

      • R C Dean

        Her.

  15. juris imprudent

    Ohio state legislature gets really stupid.

    The O.H.I.O. Sportsmanship Act, authored by Williams, comes in response to Michigan’s attempt to plant its flag after a Nov. 30 win at Ohio State, which set off a brawl between the teams. Police had to employ pepper spray to separate players and other team personnel.

    • creech

      I’ve yet to see a Pentagon statement on the drones.

      • The Other Kevin

        Scott Adams suggested the other day that those are demonstrations by vendors. You can imagine our military wants a lot of drones in a hurry. You would want to demonstrate in populated areas where there’s a lot of potential interference, and at night when you can better see what the drones are doing via lights. He finds it suspicious that the military seems to not try to shoot them down.

    • rhywun

      It will interesting to see if Donald shoots down some drones/balloons instead of letting them all drift across the US like Joe did.

  16. Sensei

    According to TBS News Dig, Japan sees over 20,000 bath-related deaths every year. In 2011, 3.7 times more people died in their baths in Japan than died in traffic accidents.

    Somebody has to stop “big bath” in Japan!

    https://unseen-japan.com/nakayama-miho-heat-shock/

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Norwegians laugh and point out that’s why you do it in a sauna and not a large bath.

      Heat shock occurs due to sudden temperature differences in the body. Moving from a warm to a cold environment – e.g., getting undressed, having a cold rise before entering a bath – causes blood vessels to restrict, raising blood pressure. The vessels then suddenly expand when you enter a hot bath.

    • Fourscore

      The Finns seem to have conquered heat shock.

      “From the sauna to the snow drift”

  17. Timeloose

    The comically ethnic sounding CEO assassin’s list of things that don’t add up unless he was dumb as hell:

    1) Meticulously plan and stalk a CEO of a billion dollar company, then prior to committing the act, flirt with a cashier in a nearby business while wearing the same gear and without a mask. You know, to make sure people remember you out of the hundreds of people one encounters in the city.
    2) spend the time and money building a ghost gun and suppressor and train with it enough to clear a jam with little delay while in a high pressure situation. The intention of using a weapon with no serial numbers or traceability would imply that you would be able to dispose of it without it coming back to you. Instead keep it or one just like it with you at all times.
    3) Make a manifesto loaded with references to the unibomber, ignoring his idol’s attempts at keeping himself incognito, but instead carry it around with you wherever you go.
    4) Plaster all of your nuttyness all over your social media and be sure to include references to the guy you are stalking and be sure to use the same language as your manifesto
    5) Get an advanced engineering degree from Penn and be this stupid

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      About the right age to have schizophrenia (or a similar mental problem) and disorganized thinking pop up. Doing stupid things and being stupid aren’t the same thing.

      • R C Dean

        “You are what you do when it counts.”

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s a good point. Mental illness would explain a lot.

      • Fourscore

        Adult onset schizo is a serious problem. The voices seem louder

        Throw in some various drugs and go talk to some homeless folks

      • Timeloose

        No doubt, I tend to try and troubleshoot problems and look for ways to improve methods even if they are not my own or a net benefit to anyone. In this case his decision making allowed a McDonalds clerk to identify him as a suspect, I should be glad he was caught, but instead I just see sloppy work.

      • R C Dean

        Carrying around the compleat package of stuff needed to convict you is so (literally) incredible, I’m still struggling with him being the actual guy. I guess he is, and his (asserted, because who do you really trust on things like this?) history of mental illness goes a long way, but the abrupt shift from the level of competence he showed (which was really not bad at all) starting after he left NYC is, well, jarring.

      • Sean

        “an orgy of evidence.”

    • creech

      Or what? “They” find some patsy off a Greyhound in Altoona and plant all this evidence on him?

      • Timeloose

        I’m pretty sure they have the right looney, I’m just surprised by the lack of forethought. I guess if you think killing a CEO is going to make a difference to the healthcare system, you are not thinking clearly in the first place.

    • rhywun

      6) Leave a trail of dozens of snapshots across the internet, and lots of friends all eager to talk to the media.

    • Not Adahn

      6) Get bored with the cops not catching you so hang out in public so you can proceed with making a spectacle of yourself in the courtroom.

    • cyto

      The well has been primed for this moment. I noticed a huge percentage of smart people immediately voicing this skeptical view.

      This would never have happened 10 or 15 years back.

      This one seems tailor made for the moment, just as the George Floyd death was tailor made for that moment. All the ambiguity needed to provide a highly divisive rorschach test.

    • one true athena

      You’re presuming he didn’t want to be caught. You don’t become a Hero in your own story unless people know who you are.

    • UnCivilServant

      To be fair, there was a lot of development in firearms tech in the latter half of the 1800s.

      • R C Dean

        That’s kind of the point, I think.

      • UnCivilServant

        Makes me wonder why we went back to using the flintlock in the 1980s.

      • Timeloose

        Lobbying by “Big Flint”?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Too be fair, though, that 2nd one stayed in service for 75 years; the first one was replaced at least a dozen times in those 75 years.

  18. LCDR_Fish

    Great Adam Carolla ep today. He has some story about being evacuated due to the Malibu fire and then a great rant about Bernie Sanders and communism (linked).

    • LCDR_Fish

      I like the substack version a lot (not just the opportunity for watching live which I haven’t tried yet), but also because it’s completely uncut in terms of what youtube would permit.

  19. Suthenboy

    Social animals: In a pride of lions there is an Alpha male. He fights his way to the top by defeating his preceding Alpha male. He spends his entire time as head of the pack defending against the up-and-coming younger males. They last an average of three years. By the time they wander off alone to retirement they are scarred up, limping and missing an eye/ear/tail whatever.
    All hominids, ungulates, canines etc. operate in the same fashion. The members of the ‘tribe’ are also constantly squabbling, fighting and stealing from each other. Competing tribes behave the same way towards each other. People are no different than other social animals. What we see are more sophisticated means of battle but the motives and outcomes are the same. These strategies are all based on zero sum thinking. For me to have what I want you must lose. I must subjugate you. In a word, barbarism. My personal crack-pot theory is that the underlying cause of this is crude technology; limited means of production.
    Civilized behavior is based on free trade. Cooperation between consenting parties. It requires higher means of production. In this way no one loses, everyone wins. All are better off. There is no need for subjugation, theft, guile or violence. The wild advancement of technology has given us the means of doing just that. Mass production should have killed slavery and war long ago but it seems to be too deeply embedded in our nature.

    Will we ever be rid of the generational resurgence of communism, theft, war? I am not hopeful.

    • cyto

      Don’t worry, the singularity will arive before too long and wipe us all out.

    • EvilSheldon

      I don’t know about felines, but in canine species the whole Alpha/Beta/Gamma thing is only observed in captive populations. Wild wolf packs, for instance, organize themselves into monogamous extended family groups.

    • Nephilium

      It’s already a felony to be disruptive at a sporting event. They make big announcements before every Indians or Browns game I’ve been to.

      • R.J.

        “A felony”
        Lawfare much?

    • R C Dean

      I thought the Germans were blowing up their nuke plants. Or was that just coal plants?

    • Suthenboy

      See my comment above on our herd animal nature. All of these energy policies are for the purposes of subjugating people. Lots of cheap energy makes for prosperity and liberty. Cant have that.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    It’s a pointless question, but why did the guy even bother to flee the scene of the crime if he was going to carry all the incriminating evidence around with him? Why not just stand over the body and yell, “Take that, motherfucker!” and wait for the coppers?

    • The Other Kevin

      Stinky has me thinking now. If he does have some sort of mental illness, then nothing he did makes sense to us because we don’t think the same way he does.

      • kinnath

        The two mostly scenarios that explain the facts:

        1) he is a patsy being set up to take the fall for a larger conspiracy

        2) he had a mental break is is operating on a different set of logic

        I would like to think that the conspiracy is the farfetched notion. But I can’t.

      • Suthenboy

        It is likely both. See: FBI talking retards into planting ‘bombs’.

      • R C Dean

        What’s the larger conspiracy? Cui bono from an insurance executive getting popped on the streets?

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, he did a decent job of setting up the hit and getting out town, and then he, what, keeps riding around on Greyhound busses for days carrying all the evidence in his backpack? I guess some kind of mental break could explain it.

      I gotta say, the speed with which they posted the pics of him shortly before the hit with his mask down was suspiciously fast. I mean, it’s NYC. There’s tens of thousands of hours of that video taken every day, and they dug up one or two shots of this guy with his mask down in less than a day?

      • Sensei

        NYC is quite good at that. That part is not surprising.

      • R C Dean

        I’ll take your word for it.

  21. kinnath

    Breaking new: FBI Director Chris Wray announces plans to resign

    Another one bites the dust.

    • Sean

      ME-OW!

      • Timeloose

        The side of her cheeks look like they might rip open.

      • R C Dean

        That is, unusually, cunty.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Thinking about Jill and joe getting booted out of their public housing makes me feel more than a little joyful.