Your Cat Shit on My Steps Again

by | Dec 21, 2024 | Beer, Entertainment, Food & Drink | 134 comments

“But this isn’t really an Xmas movie!” You say. Yeah well, hear me out.

This is my review of Joe Joe’s Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout:

Around Thanksgiving the heavy bag at my gym suddenly went missing. I hit the bag for 5×3 min rounds with a round of ab work in between rounds for a total of 20-25 minutes of cardio. That’s the length they say to do it. Its gone now, they say they’ll rehang it, but once again I need to adjust my workout to the resources I have on hand.

So they gym has a number of machines in a dark theater where they will play an movie on repeat for a day. I’ll go on one of those ski handled ellipticals. Recently they’ve played nothing but Xmas movies but they threw this one in there and I am not about to question them. After all I broke their punching bag.

Grumpy Old Men begins in a small town in Minnesota where we see its winter but don’t have a specific date. Its Minniesoda, I assume its covered in snow for 9 months out of the year, except this time we have the Odd Couple living living as neighbors rather than in a small apartment. I never saw that one….but we have John (Jack Lemmon) and Max (Walter Matthau) who for whatever reason hate each other as neighbors but never actually did anything more harmful than lob insults at each other. There was a scene where John pulls an axe during a heated argument but they don’t actually fight.

Then a woman named Ariel moves in across the street. Played by Ann Margret, who was remarkably attractive for a 52 year old. Seriously, she looked better than Daryl Hannah, who played John’s daughter. That’s it. That’s the movie. The Odd Couple gets Ann Margret but Joker, Rafterman, and Animal Mother didn’t.

Okay fine, Ariel spends Thanksgiving with a mutual friend of and they discover she is in fact Ann Margret. That’s what drives both of them to turn up whatever rivalry they have up to 11. Well….11 being a relative term given both of these guys are elderly. The competing courtship between both men and Ann Margret take place over the holidays, so I am willing to accept two horny, geriatric comedians trying to pick fights with each other over Ann Margret is in fact an Xmas movie. Later on we discover both men at one point were friends but don’t get into detail about why they now hate each other. Both men do make some amends towards the end of the movie after John finds out his little tax problem is now a big tax problem and that turns into a heart attack on Xmas Eve. All of this is okay because Ann Margret picked John so they get married after the snow melts.

Can this movie be made today? Probably not, nearly everyone in the main cast except Ann Margret is dead. There really isn’t a duo that has 50 years worth of chemistry like Lemmon and Matthau, so we’ll be stuck with two morons that have no business being on screen. It would end up being a Judd Apatow loser fest. If you plan to watch anything in this movie, watch the outtakes at the end. Those are hilarious.

Oreos are a national treasure. The trouble for me is the goddamn seed oils they put in everything includes Oreos. The cookie, the creme—all shit is soybean oil. So what am I to do if I want Oreos? I could perhaps make them on my own which is a pain in the ass, or they could just market an Oreo flavored beer to white girls that shop at Trader Joe’s. They can sell anything to white girls. This is clearly what they are going for, Oreos? Am I missing something here? Because they missed. This is like drinking an imperial stout with a stack of Oreos. This is not an Oreo flavored beer. Although in fairness, imperial stout with a bunch of Oreos after the gym doesn’t sound all that bad does it? They avoid the white girl beer alarm for now but I was definitely expecting Oreo beer, and happier they missed. Joe Joe’s Chocolate Vanilla Creme Stout: 3.9/5 9% ABV

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

134 Comments

  1. slumbrew

    Burgess Merideth is a delight in that movie. As you wright, watch the outtakes.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Gah, ya both need proofreaders. 🤓

      • slumbrew

        “wright”?! What the hell? I don’t rite so gud.

  2. UnCivilServant

    The trouble for me is the goddamn seed oils they put in everything includes Oreos

    Oreo cream filling used to be made from Lard, but they changed the formulation as part of their rivalry with the original, Hydrox, which was Kosher.

    • Gender Traitor

      Hydrox lives!
      I haven’t seen it at my grocery, so I may just have to break down and order some from Amazon to see if they’re still > Oreos.

      • UnCivilServant

        At one point I found them online, but only in a box of six packages.

        That’s far far too many cookies…

      • cyto

        One of the stranger moments in my life was learning that Oreos are the knockoff of Hydrox, not the other way around.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        They brought it back!

      • rhywun

        “Hydrox” sounds like some old-timey patent medicine so yeah it’s older.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      There are TJ’s Joe-Joes in several different flavors, but I assume they’re full of seed oils too.

    • DrOtto

      We got Hydrox when they were on sale. Otherwise, it was the black and white generic “sandwich cookies”. Oreos were for rich folk.

    • pan fried wylie

      they changed the formulation as part of their rivalry with the original, Hydrox, which was Kosher

      This is the same reason that McDonalds will never return to beef tallow to fry their fries, just for Vegetarian-kosher bullshit, instead of traditional (((Kosher)))/<<>> bullshit. Instant noodles are even getting in on the act and removing animal from the soupbase packets, to be replaced with hydrolysed yeast. “Buldak Spicy Artificial Chicken Flavor” FUCKING YUMMERS!!!

      Vegans/vegetarians can go eat a big bag of buldaks rather than hecklevoting everything into shittitude.

      • pan fried wylie

        oh, also, OMG SEED OILS!@!#!!, JFTDCV, SMDH, prays for SMOD.

      • Chafed

        If you believe McDonald’s was ever kosher, I have a bridge to sell you.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        So, you are saying McD’s has been in on all the gov’t pork?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Its amazing because redheads hit the wall hard. At least around here they do.

      • Suthenboy

        Sadly yes. Redheads and blondes…genuine blondes. They usually hit the wall hard and early.

  3. DrOtto

    All I know is I have downed a mess of Oreos after a few Lone Stars and I can clear out room 30 minutes later with the ensuing gas. I find it amusing, everyone else but the dog does not.

    • Chafed

      And that’s why he/she/it is your best friend.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      That’s not my experience at all.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        That even the dog hates your gas?

  4. cyto

    On the topic of “what if I invested my social security contributions?”

    This experiment has been done. From memory, a city in Texas, maybe Corpus Christi?, did exactly this. There was a moment when social security changed and certain governments could opt out, so they did. The thing that makes it perfect is that they made exactly the same 15% investment. Actually, I think it was thenpre lock-box 13%. At any rate, they invested as one would pay SS tax.

    As of the turn of the century, these folks were at retirement age. They had higher income from their retirement portfolio than they had from their salary.

    It isn’t even close. Investing in T bills is a double ponzi scheme, because the whole point of having investments was the knowledge that a shrinking demographic base would inevitably lead to a tax shortfall that could not be made up, even with rate increases.

    So just take it out of the treasuries, right?

    Well, how do treasures get paid back?

    From current tax revenues.

    I pointed this out at the time, and very few could understand.

    They took extra money for the lock box. They invested in treasuries… which is US debt that was promptly spent.

    They now will withdraw the treasures. Which we gen X folks will pay back out of regular taxes.

    Get it?

    We paid for the same thing twice, so the boomers could finance all their social engineering and giveaways.

    And then they got in on the neocon grift….

    • creech

      S.S. started long before the Boomers. It was wobbly when Goldwater proposed some mild reforms in 1964. The voters killed him in the election (that not even one Boomer was eligible to vote in.). In fairness, Boomers and all subsequent generations have continued to support this Ponzi scheme.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    5.9%
    Not much of a stout

    • mexican sharpshooter

      3.9/5 9% ABV

      That’s 9%, cowboy.

      • Chafed

        This sounds like a dessert beer. Is it sweet?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My bad, now we’re talking

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        9.2; whatever it takes.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Not too sweet, actually, but it is certainly calorie dense.

  6. Evan from Evansville

    I recall quite enjoying this when I was taken to it as a kid. (Must’ve been a grandparent idea. Likely grandpa.) Seems an open niche to be filled: Movies for Old Folk. They have time and money. They like old-person shit. I suppose youthful escapism plays for ~all demos. I’m sure it’s also true there are tons of Old Timey entertainment, and not just Law & Order and Golden Girls reruns, but I ain’t old and ain’t lookin’.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Yes, there is also NCIS.

  7. cyto

    On the wishmaster: I would think those sorts of choices should come with a little more in the way of disclosure.

  8. Mojeaux

    I am extremely upset right now.

    [vent]

    Smashwords has been a going concern for self-publishers since about 2007. I helped refine its conversion engine (quite by accident). It put out a list of formatters for hire (“Mark’s List”), which is mostly from where I got all my business. Smashwords had pretty strict requirements on the formatting accepted (thanks to my accidental bug reports) and I built my business around it because even though they had a style guide, the process was so opaque most users couldn’t follow it. So I have been using the same process for the last 15 years. The books came out exactly the way I formatted them. No muss, no fuss.

    Within the last year, it merged with Draft2Digital, which had been around as a competitor for some years, but I can’t be arsed to look that up. I never paid attention to D2D and neither did my clients. So once my clients’ work was merged and transferred to D2D, I thought, for whatever reason, that I could carry on with the way I had been formatting for 15 years and that D2D’s conversion engine would honor my formatting.

    Silly me.

    It does what it fucking wants to and calls it an improvement. I am so angry right now I can’t stand it.

    I googled and saw a few people were having the same problem I am, which is making me look bad to my clients. I sent a mildly (for now) worded email asking WTF they were smoking, but it’s the weekend before Christmas and they’re in Australia, so I don’t expect much soon, and then I’m going to be out of town for a week.

    But if they don’t get this fixed or offer a solution, I just don’t know what I’m going to do.

    They have put me in a real bind here.

    [/vent]

    • Chafed

      That blows. Do they have a competitor you could migrate your work too?

      • Mojeaux

        My work isn’t on either Smashwords or Draft2Digital. I use Amazon exclusively and when I do use other retailers, I have my own accounts (I’m even grandfathered in to Google Books).

        It’s my clients’ work I’m concerned about because they’re paying me to make it look right and D2D is fucking with it. All I want is for it to convert it EXACTLY as I formatted it and it either doesn’t or I can’t figure out how to force it to.

    • Evan from Evansville

      It’s *extra* shitty it’s making you look bad. Deepest sympathies, I honestly can’t imagine. I hope ‘mild’ wording works once they get back. I hope an escalation isn’t necessary, that they get the hint. Eeek.

      • Mojeaux

        I assume that the support ticket is as high as it will go. To do what I want (if there’s not some other mechanism I’m not finding) (which is why it was a “mildly worded email”; I don’t want them to come back and say, “It’s right here, dumbass” after a hissy fit), I expect it would take some kind of major effort to add that functionality.

        They have different “templates” you can choose, but that process is also opaque, and as far as I can tell, there is not option for “no formatting.”

    • PieInTheSky

      I am extremely upset right now -something new and exciting for you 🙂

      sorry 🙁

      • Mojeaux

        Well, I don’t like change to begin with, but whatever. C’est la vie.

        I’m upset because this is supposed to be “new and improved.” I can new-and-improve all by my ownself and there should be an option for “no formatting.”

      • PieInTheSky

        I was just jokin around a bit

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      For now, apologetic e-mail blasts, if you haven’t already. 🤷🏻‍♀️

      • Mojeaux

        THAT is not a bad idea. I’m going to have to think how to word it.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Boom. I was wondering/ hoping now would be the appropriate time to shift from Vent into Erupt.

      • Mojeaux

        I thought @TO’G meant that I should do an email blast to my clients to warn them.

        There’s only one contact email and I used that, and they have a ticket system. If that’s what she meant, then I’m going to have to do some digging. I had a direct pipeline to the CEO of Smashwords and I don’t like not knowing whom I’m dealing with.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Please pardon *their* dust”?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yes, what I meant.

        Perhaps Raven Nation could tear them new arseholes? 😉

    • Suthenboy

      We are both retired. Every day is like every other day. we go to bed from 4:30 to 6:30. We get up from midnight to ~4:00.
      When I want to do something I want to do it now but the rest of the world is usually asleep or closed for whatever reason. It is a nuisance.
      I especially hate weekends. I can afford to cuss a bit and wait. I can imagine how maddening it would be if what I needed was affecting business.

      Dontcha just love the holidays.

      • Fourscore

        The turkeys hang around all day now, I throw out a little corn for them a couple times a day, they are close to total domestication, come running when I open the door. They’ve begun to look through the windows at me and peck on the window. Four toms, seven hens.

        The deer come later in the day but I can’t feed them ’til after dark and the turkeys have left, too much competition. The deer are concerned about the turkeys’ presence but not vice-versa..

  9. Suthenboy

    What is wrong with seed oils? I cant keep up with the ever-changing health trends. Also, hydrox sounds like something I would use in a lab, not something I would eat. Yes, I am familiar with them but always had a thing with the name. Come to think of it ‘Oreo’ sounds a lot like oleo, also something I wouldn’t eat.

    Is it just me or do the hot actresses from the past seem hotter than the contemporaries?

    • Homple

      I came here to ask that exact question about seed oils.

      Is it more bullshit like the newly-discovered “beef allergy”.

    • The Other Kevin

      Grok is now free on X so I asked it. In short, seed oils are high in Omega-6 which is bad. They are highly processed with solvents and other chemicals. And they are used a lot in processed foods that have a lot of salt and sugar.

      • The Other Kevin

        Personally I have seen a How It’s Made about canola oil. It’s a long process with lots of chemicals including bleach. We decided right then we were done with it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And inflammatory, apparently.

    • cyto

      Hydrox is a flower. The one on the cookie.

      Oreo is a reference to the same flower, IIR.

    • PieInTheSky

      it is hard to answer that question as nutritional science is shit. So it depends on which studies you look at. and the saturated fat good/bad divide. I do see a massive anti meat bias in science based on non health stuff like climate and animal rights, and that side pushes seed oils.

      on the omega 6 front seems what matters is omega 3 to 6 ratio and most don’t get enough 3.

      But seed oils are heavily processed and some people are skeptical of that. correlations are all over the place. they may be pro inflammatory. But there is so much bias it is hard to know which studies to trust.

      my view: lots of highly processed and concentrated fat bad, just like sugar. I disagree with the keto/low carb view on unlimited butter lard. but all things considered i trust lard more than seed oils.

      /sarc my granpappy ate lard and drank tuica all his live and lived to hunnert and two

      • R C Dean

        But are seed oils ULTRA processed?

      • rhywun

        If I have listen to what’s-his-name blather on about ULTRA processed foods for the next four years I’m going to have to shoot myself.

      • PieInTheSky

        ultra processed gets a lot of shit but people generally know what it means and it is bad

      • mexican sharpshooter

        but all things considered i trust lard more than seed oils.

        Real seed oil jihadists avoid lard, because pigs in the US are fed soy. You are what you eat applies to them. That’s why there is such a push for beef tallow, because cows are ruminants the second stomach processes them to make their body fat “safe.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Wouldn’t that then make the tallow ultra ultra processed?

    • R C Dean

      “Is it just me”

      No.

      *shakes cane*

    • PutridMeat

      Gary Taubes on seed oils. A very balanced view in the midst of a much larger discussion of science journalism (section titled “ultra processed foods and seed oils”)

      For my part, I avoid seed oils completely. Partly simple because I avoid packaged foods (worst combination of sugar, carbs, AND fats) entirely and that’s where the bulk of seed oils in your diet come from.

      But also intentionally due to the fact that they are bleached, washed in chemicals, pressed, extracted, washed in chemicals again, etc. Does that a priori mean they are bad for you? No. But given that the putative reason for using seed oils is completely fatuous – no saturated fat is not bad for you, butter and lard and animal fats will not kill you. Why introduce novel, potentially harmful stuff into your diet when there’s absolutely no need to?

      One day it may be conclusively proven that seed oils are completely harmless – I doubt it, but it’s certainly possible. Doesn’t matter, I prefer animal fats – and they are good healthy fats so why bother?

      • PutridMeat

        Or even this link?

        I swear to god, wordpress, with malice aforethought, randomly messes up links and/or quotes. I COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE AT FAULT!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        You’re a pasty! 🥟

      • PutridMeat

        You’re a pasty!

        Oh yeah?!! Well your a TOWEL!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      What is wrong with seed oils?

      Do you eat motor oil? No? That’s why.

      Canola Oil (aka Vegetable Oil) was originally made from rapeseeds grown in Canada that was used to lubricate the allied war machine during WW2. After the war, they began cutting it with industrial solvents to make it edible. Otherwise you’d be too grossed out by the smell to eat anything with it. Between that and the aforementioned high Omega-6 content, the high correlation of the rise in cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, etc. You can even correlate autism and UFO sightings.

      Otherwise I avoid them because I’m a chemistry major and I trust a cow before a chemist. Besides, its a fantastic proxy when shopping to determine if what you are buying is garbage. Much better than looking for “organic” products.

      • rhywun

        Another proxy is “cost”.

        Have you looked at the price of olive oil?? Holy shit.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Olive oil is turning into a scam, but its still better priced than avocado oil mayonnaise.

    • Tundra

      It’s not a simple answer. Certainly the way they are created is fucking nasty. But it’s not simply linoleic acid, or the Omega ratios.

      I recommend this guy:

      https://staycuriousmetabolism.substack.com/p/seed-oils-sinister-or-overhyped

      There is nuance here, but I generally avoid them. With all the animal fats there is simply no reason to use them.

      Frankly, the sugar in Oreos is probably more harmful.

  10. Evan from Evansville

    Magdeburg market attack: “Saudi authorities warned their German counterparts about the suspected attacker multiple times, a source told CNN. Saudi Arabia considers him a fugitive and previously requested his extradition, the source said, adding that German authorities refused due to concerns for the man’s safety there.”

    It is tempting to think these efforts show that keeping the Saudi in Germany was purposeful, as if awaiting attack, hoping for another Reichstag fire to begin a cultural revolution. Europe, likely led by Germany, w UK not far behind, is – if they’re smart – is/should gear up for anti Islam backlash. They happily invited the problem in. Whoops. Only ‘explanation:’ Euro needs cheap workers and imports them in, with no care or a push towards anti-European cultural values, like lighting a fuse with a few months’ burn ahead. I’m sure it’s exceptionally ‘racist’ to be even vaguely anti-Islamic immigration, another purposeful thorn in the side.

  11. juris imprudent

    two morons that have no business being on screen

    You’ll get elderly Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, and you’ll like it.

    • Chafed

      The only good part of Dumb and Dumber was ogling Lauren Holly. There, I said it.

      • Evan from Evansville

        *HIGH BEAMS BLINDING* Yep. You’ve said it. You’re on (another) List of my creation, the “Incomprehension Inventory.” See also: Not liking a certain movie about a certain large aquatic predator, a flick which is Hitchcockian in building suspense and drama. Well-acted and executed.

        I’m perfectly fine with folk not liking what I like. But damn. It’s a silly romp about two wayward joe’s and their hijinks, portrayed with conviction for full humor. And Daniels can play Harry that well and also be Washington. Man’s damn good at his job.

        *shush, ev!* I gotta get off my front porch. Too much fist-clenching, with all the old folk jimmying ’round, yelling at my perfectly balanced clouds. I frump back! *head down, hands in pockets, squiggles toe in the dirt*

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I thought D&D was funny the first time I saw it.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Uh. If they wrote a GOOD Dumb and Dumber sequel… uh. I’d immediately pay to see it. <– That flick is borderline perfect. (No line nor scene wasted – all advance action or reveal character in a cohesive 'plot.' I'd say it isn't perfect cuz Lloyd Christmas says "[he] doesn't want to EKE his way through life." Vocab outta character. Other than that me-being-piddly, it's a stellar, 'perfect' film. It's trying to be silly and it succeeds.

      Supposedly, they wrote a scene where the two actually get on the bus with the hot chicks to 'happiness,' but Carrey (perhaps Daniels) refused. (Good.) I'm semi-saddened to see Carrey being open about acting in stupid shit (Sonic 3) just to make money. Well, work is work, but damn. You're talented, man. Exceptionally so.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Eh, Lloyd probably thinks it’s spelled “eek”.

        Pity that JC drove his Irish girlfriend to suicide.

  12. Evan from Evansville

    Oh, random OT: Funny kinda not funny – Dad has a torn MCL in his knee – today docs said it needs to be replaced – Grrrrgle. I liked having the titanium monopoly in the family. well. i’m still the fucking Ft Knox of it, tho. When I had my hips done 10 & 12 years ago (eek), all docs said knees were far far far harder to recover from. I’ve also read of hip and knee replaced-folk going polka dancing a few days after the op.

    With the good replacement in America, I had a full leg cast for a while, obviously impeding any movement. Any y’all had a knee done or know ’bout it? How’s recovery? I’m reading 6 weeks to 3 months to “resume normal activities.” The pain was no longer internal during recovery. Stitches and stables keep wounds closed – easy for your mind to rationalize and be OK with. Dad is the worst Patient any doc could ask for. He’s also upped his Asshole Level, consistently being outwardly nasty ’round Mom, who’s (as always) a Saint in such situations. And shit. Nephews coming within 30 min, and shit this is gonna be interesting. Suessical the Musical is on tap, and apparently it’s shit (on Broadway at least). The oldest is also 11 and will detest it, as he should.

    • The Other Kevin

      I think it’s like 6 weeks but MAKE SURE to do the full PT. My mother in law had both knees done at the same time but skimped on PT. Her recovery was longer and she still limps.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I can ask my dad about my aunt’s recent one in four days. She’s a biiiig lass, probably around your father’s age.

      Sorry about your interesting times.

      • Evan from Evansville

        No worries, and thanks. Fat, my dad ain’t. Remarkably physically healthy for 75. Far more worried about his Asshole Level, coupled with legit sexism that he has amplified to odd levels. (Asperger’s, he doesn’t *get* women in any capacity. Diminished Capacity Dad is hard for *ME* to deal with, and I’m far more on his side than other adults. I’m the c̵o̵n̵d̵u̵i̵t̵ ̵m̵i̵d̵d̵l̵e̵-̵m̵a̵n̵ liaison for intercommunications.

        I plan on sneaking plenty of inside jokes through, especially to the 11-year-old.

  13. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    Filmed in Winona and Wabasha, Minnesoda. Two towns close to my stomping grounds.

  14. UnCivilServant

    Yesterday I picked up ground lamb and uncased italian sausage with the intention of making tacos.

    Since it had been a while, I browsed the salsa selection at the store rather than contemplate making my own. I found a new (to me) company, Desert Pepper Trading Company, and opted for their Tequila Salsa (listed as ‘medium’ burn) The ingredients were pretty straightforward. The ‘medium’ is acrually pretty darn mild, so it’s nowhere near Sean-approved levels of heat. But the flavor is pretty good.

    If anyone cares, I seasoned the lamb with chili limon mix (chilis and lemon), salt, pepper, and cumin. I mixed it with chopped onion and the sausage mix and cooked it with sliced bell peppers. Combine on a keto tortilla with salsa, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce.

    I have several meals worth, good thing it worked.

    • rhywun

      I was just at Wegmans and they dropped the Cholula medium salsa I liked. Now I have something called “Mateo’s”.

      *crosses fingers*

      • UnCivilServant

        Let us know if it’s any good. Never heard of that brand.

      • rhywun

        Will do.

    • R C Dean

      That sounds excellent.

      • UnCivilServant

        🌮

        I’m happy with how it turned out.

    • slumbrew

      I like the Desert Pepper Trading salsa verde.

  15. DEG

    This is like drinking an imperial stout with a stack of Oreos.

    There was a place in north central Massachusetts that made an imperial stout aged on Oreos. It was delicious. Unfortunately the place went out of business.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Would germaphobe Trump handle his meat like that and then not wash before eating?

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Yeah, not paying a cent to go to a restaurant and do my own cooking.

      I go to not have to cook!

    • rhywun

      I only caught the last few minutes and smiled.

  16. Q Continuum

    Mrs. Q’s uncle (who died some years back), claimed several times during family holidays to have fucked Ann-Margaret in his youth. He was an alcoholic and a rabble-rouser with an extremely checkered past and many children by three different women, but he was really funny and charming. I don’t know if he was making shit up but it was at least plausible.

    • creech

      My stepson’s great grandpa was a fabulist of the first order. In the 1930s he had convinced friends and newspaper reporters that he had participated in Pickett’s Charge. He was even feted by a Confederate veterans organization in Richmond. Actually, he was a ten year old schoolboy in Philadelphia in July 1863.

    • Chafed

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

  17. Sensei

    What happens when you reprogram your car to remove the rev limiter?

    VTEC

  18. The Late P Brooks

    *cockpit fills with smoke*

    Yeah, twist that key. It’ll come back to life.

    • Sensei

      Maybe if it was a closed deck Chrysler slant 6….

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Or, just maybe, it’s the idiot behind the wheel.

    The guy in the Tesla didn’t jump out of the throttle mid-corner.

    • Sensei

      But the truck was skidding!

      Odds that the ABS light was on and as a result no traction control…

  20. Sean

    Lol, fire company just did their Santa drive through.

    🎄🚒🎅

      • Sean

        They drove through the neighborhood. Not by it. And they hand out candy.

        Cold ass day for Santa. Brrr.

      • Sean

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Booooooo

      • Mojeaux

        😜

  21. pan fried wylie

    Enough no ones bowl that they were able to remodel the alley.

    You try remodeling a lane with a league-worth of impatient bowling teams chucking balls at you despite the floorboards being torn up.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    -Welp.-

    Que?

  23. pan fried wylie

    I bought some French onion dip yesterday. It has more sugar in it than cake icing. WTF?

    It is just sautéed onions in butter with sour cream or yogurt and cream cheese.

    Yogurt and creamcheese contain nutritionally significant amounts of lactose, listed under nutritional facts as part of the Non-added sugars. Great Value nonfat plain yogurt is about 6.5%wt sugar, creamcheese about 3.5%wt.

    I started paying more attention to the non-added-sugar content of dairy products once I lost my tolerance to lactose, to gauge how much lactase I should dose accordingly.

  24. pan fried wylie

    We live in farm country, and all they grow here is soybeans and corn. All of the corn goes to either animal feed or corn syrup.

    Not ethanol (as a result of various gov’t mandates)?

    Possibly? When our kids were in 4H, one of the dads who worked for a food manufacturer talked to the kids, and according to him most corn in this area goes to corn syrup.

    Corn syrup can be fermented pretty easily.

    Conversion of cornstarch to sugars is necessary before any fermentation to ethanol can follow. I’m thoroughly disappointed in everyone on the Friday Morning Links for not pointing this out. Y’alls technical pedantry be slippin’, Yo.

    • kinnath

      Yes, corn needs to be mashed to convert starch to sugar. Hillbillies have been doing it since when ever.

      Corn sugar is one of the primary fermentable sugars used in a lot of American light lagers.

      But I assume that corn used for fuel (ethanol) production is mashed from the grain and not made from refined corn syrup.

      And it wasn’t worth the effort to inject the details into yesterday’s conversation. The primary question was how much corn production is diverted to fuel, not the exact mechanism for doing that.

      • pan fried wylie

        I assume that corn used for fuel (ethanol) production is mashed from the grain and not made from refined corn syrup.

        I’m unable to gauge the safety of that assumption. When corn syrup is available at industrial scale already the added steps of mashing your corn before fermenting could be an avoidable inefficiency in your plant design. I mean, just the additional hardware to handle a solid input rather than dealing all in fluids…unless you were already a cornsyrup manufacturer, then adding on a fermentation section might make sense.

        Point is, if there’s money to be saved starting from syrup, then the fraction of the corn harvest not feeding animals needs to be considered in the ethanol equation.

      • kinnath

        google AI says:

        No, ethanol for fuel is not directly made from corn syrup, but rather from the starch found in corn kernels, which is converted into sugar during the ethanol production process; essentially, the corn starch is the primary source for making ethanol fuel, not corn syrup itself.

        There is no point in making food-grade corn syrup and then turning it into fuel.

        Far more efficient to go directly from raw corn starch to sugar to alcohol.

      • pan fried wylie

        Yeah, starting with cornstarch avoids most of the difficulties of starting with grain, handling and disposal-wise. No shipping all the water weight of syrup, deliveries of starch can be dumped into a vat to be mixed with water and pretty much the whole production line is fluids then.

        Still doesn’t clarify the question of whether/howmuch of that corn crop ends up in a gas tank.

  25. pan fried wylie

    Bird flu emergency in California. Kill all the chickens and dairy cattle, just to be safe. what could possibly go wrong

    Is that why eggs doubled in price (18 went from like $3.50 to nearly $7) since I last bought eggs this fall?

    Man, I’m almost gonna be glad for the bugs, my diet has become nearly vegan lately. *looks upthread* Becoming the very thing I hate, ugh.

    Also, Fried ChickenCrickets.

    • pan fried wylie

      *checks that old carton of eggs*

      “Best By 08/08/24”

      Dammit. 10of18 into the trash, Le Sigh.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Games today? Goddammit.

  27. pan fried wylie

    Is it more bullshit like the newly-discovered “beef allergy”.

    AH, so this is how they hammer the final nail in the beef industry’s coffin.

    “SECONDHAND BEEF ANAPHYLAXIS, BANNED FROM THE PREMISES, ZIGHEIL, PIGFECKTINSHIESSERS!”

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