All I wanted was for the year to end and to leave Arx Anade. For where, I did not know. Somewhere where I didn’t have to suffer the auditor’s gaze. I had kept fastidious records of everything, ensured that all obligations were properly covered, eliminated what sources of waste I could find. The ongoing repairs and restoration of the antique palaces was even slightly ahead of schedule. And yet, at every turn, the auditor’s expression conveyed a sense of disappointment. What more could I have done during my stewardship? Was it a disagreement with my handling of judicial matters? In the few disputes brought before me I’d done my best to keep to customary law. The only grousing had been from those I’d ruled against, but only over having lost the case, not that I’d been unjust or capricious.
My fretting had me circling the table where I’d stacked the ledgers. No year had such complete documentation as my tenure, everything that had passed through the estate’s accounts had been recorded in those pages. All discrepencies between previous accounts and what existed in reality had been noted, and causes investigated. I couldn’t be faulted for the lax record keeping of my predecessors, so what had I done wrong? My mental gears ground to a halt, and I stood quite frozen as the door opened.
The auditor had arrived.
Steel gray hair and pale blue eyes accentuated sharp, narrow features. A neat black waistcoat bore the imperial phoenix embroidered upon its breast. If he noticed the mid-stride pose I had stopped in, he gave no outward sign. I brought myself into a more proper stance as he closed the door.
“Shall we sit?” he asked, his tone a stilted imitation of informality. I grabbed a chair and seated myself in it. I expected the auditor to take the one opposite, but he sat to my left instead. Now all of the ledgers were upside-down. I resisted the urge to spin the books about so that they would be in the appropriate orientation for reading.
“Have you come to a decision?” I asked.
“Do you really understand what it is you were supposed to be doing this past year?” he asked.
“I was to demonstrate that I know what needs to be done to properly administer a manor.”
“No,” the auditor said with a shake of the head, “You were to show whether you were ready to assume the duties of your title.”
“That’s the same thing,” I protested.
The auditor sighed. “No, it is not.” He withdrew a small sheaf of notes from his pocket. “I have spent much of my time hunting down the cause of a percieved discrepancy in your accounts.”
“I wrote down everything!”
“Yes, you did. That is why I called it a percieved discrepancy. The numbers looked wrong because of expenditures I did not see.”
“I don’t understand, what payments did I miss?”
“You’re drawing the wrong conclusions because you haven’t let me finish.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“While looking for these nonexistant expenditures, I made inquiries among the household. I uncovered a pattern of neglect, distain, disrespect, and distance towards the men at arms, the squires, the grooms, the huntsmen, the cooks, the maids, and the wardrobe.”
“What? No. How so? I have always endeavored to be nothing but respectful in my dealings with others.”
“According to the household, you would never attend to the great hall save when hearing a peasant dispute, or only grudgingly at holidays, and would vanish the moment your obligations could be seen as completed. The kitchen has complained that you deliberately snubbed the fruits of their labors, refusing to take proper meals in favor of mean sustenance. When they attempted to address the matter you showed no interest in their concerns, focusing instead on the account of their expenditures and the inventory of the larder. It was said by the grooms that you never even laid eyes upon a horse save to count their number. The huntsmen assert that they have never lain eyes upon you. As for the maids, when they raised concern about the fact that you quote ‘slept betwixt your books’ rather than the rooms they prepared for you, they say you chastised them for lighting a fire to heat an unused room. The wardrobe protests that you have all but eliminated their department and refused any expenditures. The disrespect towards the men at arms and squires is most concerting. They did not want to voice the complaint, but I eventually got from them your unwillingness to address them, and a reiteration of your absences from meals save briefly at holidays.”
“They have entirely distorted my actions,” I said.
“What among their complaints is not factual?” the auditor asked.
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“What right do I have to the lord’s table? To his chambers, or his horse? It is not my place to hunt his forests or to spend his coin upon my attire. There is no provision among the obligations for a steward at Arx Anade, and I will not embezzle myself one. I have ensured that those entitled to their keep have recieved it, and have avoided wasting…” My words faltered and I formulated the remainder of my defense.
With a long sigh of exasperation, the auditor dropped his notes and let his head sink to his hand.
“You protest in righteous ignorance and short-sighted folly. Can you truly be such a fool?”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
The auditor straightened up and looked me in the eye.
“Even if you were here simply as a steward, stewards are permitted their lifestyle. But you are not a steward. You were to prove yourself at Arx Anade because it is your estate – one of several. Had you proved yourself, your wardship would be at an end. As it stands, you have shown that you have much left to learn.”
After this was scheduled, I realized there was a subtle tweak to the dialog I wanted to make so that the narrator came off less of a dumbass and was aware that it was his estate.
For anyone who cares – This is set in the same world as “Prince of the North Tower” at an undefined point in time relative to that.
I wrote it at some point because I was bored and had a snippet of an idea in my head that wasn’t translating to a bigger story.
What was the tweak?
Or something like that.
Ahh.
I read the last paragraph and said, “What a dumbass. That’s a big whoops.”
Hmmm…I wonder if I have real estate that I’m unaware of…
I’m reminded of Kord having been unaware that he had a house in [insert German-sounding name of city.]
Yes, I have recurring archetypes. That’s why I wanted to go back and change the dialog when I thought of a way to make it an issue of the narrator’s personality rather than ignorance.
Yes, indeed – the narrator instantly brought Kord’s obtuseness to mind.
Great stuff, UnCiv.
Yeah, seems a bit strained that he wouldn’t know it was an inheritance.
See comments above.
This is why the editorial and revision process is so important. As it stands the focus is on “No way the narrator is ignorant of that” rather than his miserly antisocial tendency to fixate on the ledgers and overlook the other obligations of his role which are not simply niceties or perks, but expectations.
I don’t think the auditor’s comment is the problem, it is the narrator. Or at least there needs to be something that sets out why it would be conditional as an inheritance – others given the same opportunity to prove themselves or something.
I’m not sure how he ended up in this “Is he adult enough to handle his own affairs” approval situation. Other than having been orphaned in childhood.
It’s not a matter of “else someone else might get it”
The wardship seems a little too conditional, and the narrator starts out by wanting to leave his role. That’s what is jarring. If it is an inheritance, he claims it and disposes of it except of course if it is a title, but the title itself would be based on the authority (not the auditor) granting it.
It seems like there should be an “of course I know who I am, but I don’t want it”.
It’s an interesting idea, but the set-up, maybe the development, needs some work. Not finding out until the very end that he is a ward and that all this will one day be his is just jarring. It’s a few tweaks away, and I think it would have a place in a larger story where our bookish, antisocial protagonist learns the value of social interactions and meeting social expectations. Which to some extent was the story of my career, with my progression along that learning curve being somewhat less than optimal, shall we say.
🤔
Can I write a story about a lesson I haven’t learned?
Wot, the curtains?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lCIh2aCH_o
Interesting start, he sounds more unwilling than Kord to accept his title and privileges.
I couldn’t come up with anywhere for the story to go from here.
Maybe he gets abducted by aliens to do their taxes.
Maybe he follows a metal dog into a blue police box.
Is it a metal dog who never knows the answer when it’s important?
Somehow it reminded me of bugs bunny and Yosemite Sam in the mansion.
Sam would lose money every time he lost his temper and Bugs was very good at getting him to do that.
Since this reminds me of Kord….maybe he’s sent to live with the heir of a lesser noble house, to learn how to act in a properly lordly fashion. And they have adventures…
lol That is a good one.
Fucking bean counters. I hate it when they are right.
Thanks, UCS! Nice intro chapter.
🤔 I think the narrator was more of a bean counter than the auditor…
See, I read it like the narrator was a retarded CEO who didn’t understand the job and thought he could micromanage his way to success. The auditor was the pro who squared him away.
OT/ Tundra, relistened too When I Was Cruel this morning, and I am going to stand by my original opinion of it; not bad just boring.
I listened to the whole thing again as well and loved it lol! I think it’s the lyrics as much as anything – some really clever phrasings.
But that’s the wonderful thing about music – something for everyone!
Not a bad article – https://www.twz.com/news-features/red-sea-attacks-are-testing-combat-information-centers-aboard-u-s-navy-warships-like-never-before
I haven’t been deployed on a ship for a decade, so a lot of things have changed – most Aegis ships have been upgraded past the systems I was working with – thankfully. I’ve got a couple issues with terms/vocabulary they use, but they’re right about the Red Sea atmospherics being some of the worst combination of factors you can imagine when it comes to a consistent radar picture.
The experience our sailors are getting with live ordnance situations here is invaluable though.
Especially the pilots on the receiving end of USN anti-air ordnance.
Maybe they can shoot down another passenger jet and get medals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_Air_Flight_655
Not gonna lie. I think it was obviously avoidable (Gettysburg) – Vincennes was absolutely avoidable.
They’re right in that there’s a ton more tracks – particularly the drones – that look like aircraft – on your scope. I tracked tons of oil platform helos all the time when we were in SE Asia. Generally, if you can confirm it’s unmanned – there’s no issue if you have to shoot it down. And it should be enough to confirm unmanned if it’s not squawking any IFF (pretty sure US drones have all their systems up – never had to deal with them before)…but stuff gets dropped and picked up all the time and there are delays for the systems to re-interrogate. The auto systems are getting a lot better – but there are hard stops in releasing ordnance and that means someone had turned the key[s] for Gettysburg to fire.
The only experience I had with the Aegis is the phased array radar. I made a bunch of tiny bipolar transistors for it at one time. They were 10 year old design when I got involved, so I would be surprised if they are still in production. Never mind, I would be surprised if they are not still in production.
I remember having to make a run of devices that hadn’t been made in 10 years and seeing the effects of process changes over the decade. Process improvements are not always conducive to maintaining a good yielding product. Old machine A had some kind of secret sauce that unknowingly provided some additional channel doping that new and improved machine B doesn’t. It will make most products better and more consistent, but those that had been developed without fully understanding all of the interactions and dependencies might be much worse.
We added lithium, now they should be more stable.
Thanks, I was wondering about what happened with that incident. My son in law may be in that area, he’ll go on his first deployment this year.
Not sure if this got linked today but the Bee’s brutal to Trudeau Bee’s brutal to Trudeau.
This one had me rolling:
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-honors-kamala-harris-with-presidential-medal-of-participation
Boom.
“Vice President Harris thanked the crowd for the tremendous honor. “Wow,” said Harris. “It just means so much. It reminds me that even though I didn’t show up sober, or show up with a single original thought in my brain, I showed up. I was, like, there. That’s what this medal means, right? To participate is to take part. ‘Part’ is part of the word, you know? And we all have to take part in what we are doing, and that time is every day.”‘
Slam-fuckin’ dunk.
Cheers, big ears!
🥂
You know, watching Trump’s comments regarding Canada, Greenland and the fucking Gulf of America, I am starting to think “fuck you, cut spending” is not on the agenda.
Also, Princess Lindsey is a no on RFK2. Anyone shocked?
Without Lindsey, I’m not seeing him get approved. That gives cover to the usual Dem double agents in the Senate to vote against him, and the Dems, err, “acquired” enough Senate seats with late vote counting that the Repubs can’t afford to have that many “cross the aisle”.
Trump is such a cuck. He tries to primary Massie for insisting on a recorded vote for the largest spending bill in history while continuing to give Lindsey reach-arounds.
Weak.
Sanders might be a ‘yes”. If the votes aren’t there it’s plan B.
Mike Johnson puts the House in recess (which is why Trump has been nice to him). That allows Trump to force the Senate into recess, then he does all the recess appointments he wants.
I am starting to think “fuck you, cut spending” is not on the agenda.
Save for DOGE, when did Trump ever indicate this was going to be his thing? The Man loves to build/brand – more, bigger, better. Where did smaller govt ever fit in that?
Graham is on the Big Pharma gravy train no doubt.
It didn’t. All the fucking cheering about some ridiculous manifest destiny bullshit is depressing. Hey dumbfucks, all this does is make the stupid empire even more unaccountable. Fools.
Trump just needs to link invading Greenland and Panama to approval of RFK. Lindsey gets two new, utterly stupid, wars in exchange for one vote. Lindsey loves him some stupid wars. If we do seize the canal zone can we build a new base there and name it Camp Jimmy Carter?
If his previous administration was any indication, dude is not going to cut spending at all. And the best thing about it is that the rabid MAGA supporters will excuse his spending spree while conveniently forgetting that they were against spending during the Biden years. And the cherry on top of the shit sundae is that the Massie’s and Paul’s of Congress will get crapped on and even threatened with getting primaried for pointing out his high spending.
Massie is already getting hammered by the retards. For some reason he’s supposed to kiss the ring for having the audacity to oppose Trump’s chosen one.
The only mistake I think Massie did was not offering himself for Speaker or having someone else in mind but other than that, he had a very good reason to oppose Johnson. Johnson has shown to have a backbone made of jelly fish and throwing away every so-called Conservative principle to appear as being above the fray and bipartisan.
It was unreal watching the MAGA cultists losing their shit with him and hammering on voting with his principles instead of kissing Trump’s ass and voting for his chosen one.
I liked this documentary: why does nobody talk about it?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12762002
“I LIKE you, Harvey. I’m on your side.”
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305206
I loved the doc TO’G!
I didn’t realize it was on Prime so thanks for that.
Massie’s problem is that he may actually have believed that the Republican Party has principles.
JI I think you may be right. I think this is accurate, too:
https://imgur.com/W1TDVtp
Massie’s problem is that he may actually have believed that the Republican Party has principles.
I doubt that’s the case. Listen to him excoriate both parties when he rants about the pre-Christmas spendibus bill.
Listen to him excoriate both parties
Yeah, but one party pretends to care.
I’m getting serious Rufus T. Firefly vibes off the guy.
Welp, Trump gave a press conference today. Highlights apparently include:
– $20B tech investment into the USA. More spending and cronyism, that’s what this country needs.
– Will work to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America”. Good thing he’s focusing on serious issues.
– Does not rule out military/economic coercion to take over Greenland/Panama Canal. Oh, fer fuck’s sake.
– Reiterates ‘all h*ll will break loose’ on Day One if hostages not released by Hamas. Long overdue.
– Sticking to pardons of Jan 6ers. He damn well better be or the Repubs can expect the same thing that the Conservatives in Britain got.
– Working with Congressional Republicans on a package that includes key elements of his agenda, such as tax cuts. Yawn.
– Wants states to finish election counting by 10PM on election night. Not possible, but as an opening offer, OK.
– Supports gas heaters over Biden’s effort to force electric heaters on American homes. I wonder if he mentioned the Biden ban on gas water heaters that was slipped through today.
– Will “immediately” undo Biden’s new offshore drilling ban. Good.
Typical Trump – some good things, some bad things, some half-baked bullshit.
I’m willing to go as late as midnight local time. Any later and I suspect fraud.
I think even in the good old days of yore a reasonably close race wasn’t done until sometime in the wee hours.
While extended counting is a Very Bad Thing, I think the garbage voter rolls are a bigger problem, as they provide the pool of uncast ballots (by non-residents, non-citizens, the dead, etc.) that can be mined for ballot fraud. Congress actually has Constitutional authority to “regulate” federal elections, and I think requiring confirmation that only eligible people are registered is within their authority.
You word it as “all elections must be held in such a way as to be counted on the same day as the election” or sum such.
The what now?
I’m glad I replace mine just a couple years back then.
As far as the J6 pardons – it’ll be an easy sell if he limits it to all non-violent convictions (including proud boys, etc) – but he’ll make things a lot more complicated if he tries to extend it to the folks assaulting cops or stealing stuff.
So far he’s always qualified it with “we’ll look at each one” when asked if he’ll pardon all of them. So he seems to be leaning that way.
I’m trying to understand Trump’s hardon for Greenland.
Ego?
A stepping stone to getting out of NATO?
Concern that Denmark would let Greenland go and leaving it outside of NATO making it vulnerable to someone else meddling?
Securing the Northwest Passage?
Valuable resources?
A bargaining chip for something else?
Shits and giggles?
Melania wants a coat made from baby harp seals?
Maybe Elon knows something. If he’s for it, it’s probably a genius idea.
LA is on fire again.
https://x.com/Breaking911/status/1876718130673709120
Obligatory.
(And made worse because Biden had a planned visit that shut down the airspace over the area).
Perfect. I love that one.
https://x.com/Breaking911/status/1876729758626586879
Yikes.
Our tax dollars at work.
New labels will help people pick devices less at risk of hacking
https://www.yahoo.com/tech/labels-help-people-pick-devices-173055664.html
And just I’m sure no random made Chinese electronics will simply print this label on their products like they do with UL listings.
You can’t stop hacking with software or hardware. It requires people, which are always the weak link in security.
Hey now – my employer (like many others) as blessed by its various auditors and their “industry practices” finally lets me use one long password that only needs to be changed annually.
Who would have thought that requiring numbers, special characters and mandatory uppercase letters plus quarterly password changes would actually be LESS secure.
And naturally outside my physical office I have to 2FA.
LOL.
I don’t scan QR codes cuz security reasons.
inorite?
🎶Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.🎶