The Hat and The Hair Extended Universe: Hillary, The Becoming: Episode 21

by | Oct 10, 2018 | Hat and Hair, Hillary: The Becoming, SugarFree | 204 comments

“I just don’t know what to do, Grandmother,” Hillary said, kneeling painfully before the crone on the dais.

“Lose not thy hope, Daughter,” came the reedy, thin voice, like the rubbing of insect wings. The widow’s hump on the crone’s back had forced her head almost down to her chest and she could barely open her eyes.

“My failure has put a rapist on the Supreme Court,” Hillary wailed.

“A rapist on the Supreme Court,” the assembled women of the crowd echoed, pussy hats pulled low to cover their faces.

“I don’t know how he could have beat me,” she said, thumping the hollow between her diseased teats. “Me. Hillary Clinton. The most qualified and the most ethical and the smartest person ever to run for President…”

Somewhere behind her, a couple of bepussyhatted figures snickered. One way in the back might have even chortled. She whipped her head around to glare, a blue light rising in her eyes, and the crowd fell into a fidgety silence.

The crone lifted a thin arm, eyes burning with ancient hate. “The fool has great powers on his side,” the crone rasped. “The hat. The hair. These creatures work against us, offal from sidereal hells unknown.” She closed her eyes and lowered her arm. “But we too have powers, gods of the Elder Races that ruled this Earth when we mammals still scurried between the strides of titanic beasts, their cyclopean cities rising from fetid swamps.”

“O’ mighty they were, the Fe’tyrol and the D!ga!” She reached out and stroked the huge misshapen skull on a pedestal beside her, the fangs yellowed and the eye-pits stained red with the blood of a thousand thousand maidens.

“The Fe’tyrol!” the women said, their voices rolling out over the blasted plain where they stood, lit by the sickly orange light of a dying sun hanging sullen in the sky.

“The D!ga!” they said, the glottal stop clicking like the cocking of a hundred guns.

The crone cackled and pointed with her right hand and blue lightning flashed in the sky and she pointed with her right hand and fire boiled out, twenty feet of flames, individual ribbons weaving into a pillar. The crowd cooed and clapped. A few turned to take selfies with the demonstrations of seething demonic power.

“Stop that!” Hillary yelled. “This is a holy event, not a fucking Rihanna concert!”

The crone waved and the cellphones crumbled to noxious dust.
“Kavanaugh,’ she croaked when the crying settled.

“Yes, Grandmother,” Hillary said. “Let me be the instrument of your divine will. I will kill him.”

“No,” the old woman said. “He is too powerful. Powerful magics protect him or else the accusations would have been enough. He has some phallus talisman or totem of the dingus, and it is by the dingus he must be betrayed. I am close to him now. It must be me.”

The crone stood painfully and pulled off her sacred vestments, letting the SUPER DIVA! sweatshirt fall to the ground. Grooved and fissured, the twisted labial extrusia of her flesh quaked as she raised her arms and thrust the tomb of her vagina toward the women.

“I SHALL SEDUCE HIM!” she said, her voice the thunder of the lightning she summoned.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

204 Comments

  1. tarran

    I am so glad I didn’t have any food in my stomach when I read the last paragraph.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I did. Emphasis on the “did”.

      • WTF

        #MeToo
        I am a SugarFree survivor!

      • RBS

        But he’s not finished…

      • Nephilium

        #BELIEVEXER

    • Bobarian LMD

      Sorely disappointed, no mention of the prehensile pseudo-penis.

      That’s my favorite character in the Hillary Chronicles.

    • Enough About Palin

      I just threw up everything I’ve eaten since childhood.

  2. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    10/10. I can’t stop laughing! Why did I choose to read this at work?!

    • Swiss Servator

      After reading “thrust the tomb of her vagina toward the women” I am asking myself the same.


      Actual Glibs Reader Picture

      • commodious spittoon

        It’s like a trainwreck, illustrated by H. R. Giger channeling Georgia O’Keeffe.

    • Nephilium

      *sigh*

      Every year one of the girlfriend’s friends holds a white elephant board game party. I know those games are going to be legion in the exchange. And somehow, I always wind up with one of the worst games available. One year was a reskinned Monopoly (still unopened), the other was a variant on Diplomacy (which I like, but will most likely never hit the table).

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Oh lord, normie board games are the worst. The. Worst.

      • Nephilium

        The couple who host, and most of the people who show up are hobby gamers, but there’s a couple who aren’t. I managed to dodge a bullet one year when there were no less then 4 copies of Codenames floating around. For those who enjoy the game, more power to you. I dislike any game that can be broken by one player having a bad poker face.

        Speaking of, and partially on topic. I may have come up with a concept for a party game that would be somewhat in line with this crowd here. I spun it out while trying to come up with a concept of a game that would work for the Hat and Hair. Base concept is Lesser Evils, you have cards that are split with two things. Each player has three voting cards in their hand (A side, B side, No side). A timer can control how long you have to argue and convince others which of the two items is the lesser evil, players vote. And the players who voted for the side that got the least votes gets points equal to the votes for the side that got the most votes. In the case of a tie, only those who voted for No Side get points (otherwise they score nothing). Expansions could be plentiful, and you could have Child, All Ages, and Adult Only decks of Evil Pairings.

        Example cards:

        Child: Homework/Chores
        All Ages: Hitler/Stalin
        Adult Only: Red Wings/Pegging

      • Mojeaux

        Red Wings/Pegging

        I’m out.

      • Nephilium

        It would be a play for the Cards Against Humanity market. They are basically printing money with an Apples to Apples clone based on offensive words and concepts.

      • Not Adahn

        But no Tranny Hookers! That’s over the line.

      • Sean

        But no Tranny Hookers!

        Well, now I’m out.

      • Nephilium

        See, just an idea and it’s already starting fights!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      No Body Confident Hippos?

      • Rhywun

        No-Risk: The Game of Strategic Appeasement

      • Private Chipperbot

        Clue: Prog Edition.

        Kav did it in the study with a keg tap!

      • Naptown Bill

        Clue: Prog Edition. Someone makes an accusation, and if the player to her left can disprove, he has to leave the room. Play continues until either no players or left or the remaining players join in the accusation.

      • SugarFree

        The player on the left makes an accusation. Then the player on the left leaves, unless s/he/it is holding a trumping victim status card: Gay, bi, poly, trans, rape survivor, aborted child OR a plays a counter-accusation card: Old Twitter status, Facebook post, TERF, etc. (which can only be played in conjunction with certain victim status cards.)

        Anyone without a matching victim card cannot play a counter card and is therefore declared whitecishet SHITLORD and out of the game.

        Should be a pretty easy skin over Star Flux.

      • invisible finger

        “Progs Against Humanity”

      • R C Dean

        Most excellent, Mr. finger.

      • Ted S.

        Clue: Prog Edition.

        Col. Mustard did it in the billiard room with Prof. Plum.

  3. dbleagle

    “The crowd cooed and clapped. A few turned to take selfies with the demonstrations of seething demonic power.” SF truly understands and channels the psyche of our times.

    But I glad I read the last paragraph before getting breakfast.

  4. Tres Cool

    “bepussyhatted”
    Im totally going to try to use that in conversation before the week is up.

    • AlexinCT

      LOL, you beat me to it!

    • straffinrun

      That one and “offal”. I love a word that has its own adjective embedded.

      • Playa Manhattan

        You automatically know that he means lady offal.

      • straffinrun

        Her offal is awful. A bit redundant.

  5. Count Potato

    Have you heard my new mathcore album, “Totem of the Dingus”?

  6. Jarflax

    You has a Typo:

    Elder Races that world this Earth. and I didn’t feel true pity for Kavanaugh until this…

    • SugarFree

      Fixed. Thanks.

      SP was going to proofread this for me but instead backed away in horror.

      • WTF

        Further demonstrating her good sense.

      • ron73440

        Wise choice SP, wise choice.

  7. Sean

    *polite applause*

  8. AlexinCT

    Will this seduction happen without any civility?

    • Bobarian LMD

      It will be the most civil rape ever. Hugely civil.

  9. kinnath

    RBG looks like my mother-in-law looked in the months before her death.

    • Sean

      What’s up with her gloves?

      • Playa Manhattan

        Those are her UFC gym gloves. Haven’t you heard? She’s totally in good shape.

      • RBS

        They don’t call her “notorious” for nothing.

      • Nephilium

        She’s totally hip with the kids too. There’s a movie and an action figure!

      • Naptown Bill

        Dude, she deadlifts like 450 lbs., no belt.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Those aren’t gloves, that’s the natural color of her skin (colour for our Canadian friends).

    • Q Continuum

      I need conclusive proof that she isn’t already dead.

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, I am with Q on this call. She looks too much like a Weekend at Bernie’s type. And I am not talking about that dnc commie Bernie, but the dead one that was walking around in that movie whenever music played.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Don’t you mean “after”?

    • Swiss Servator

      I, too, invoked his aid…after reading this.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I was expecting Ghost Busters.

        The woke kind.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Uuuuufa. Why the fuck did I read that?

      How can any rational person defend the actions of those cops?

      • ron73440

        How can you question the cops?

        He didn’t LISTEN!

        Just like the cop in Dallas that went to the wrong house, not listening even if you’re not committing a crime is a potential death sentence.

      • ron73440

        Instead of listen, obey would make more sense.

        Must OBEY the King’s men as we all know.

      • Naptown Bill

        I don’t understand how, as one of the cops responding to the wellness check, you could take any of the steps they took.

        I put it to Chisholm that they had, indeed, been saying that they wanted to help Adam, but they did so as they were issuing electric shocks – that they had their Tasers drawn even before they entered his home, even though he was in a building where others with mental illness lived. And I point out that the officers started Tasering him moments after the encounter started.

        “Right, because they had to get him under control, so they could get him some medical attention,” the district attorney repeats.

        You’ve got to be cruel to be kind, eh?

      • ron73440

        It comes down to the same thing as always, OBEY or die.

        I used to love watching COPS when I was 25-30, but last time I saw it it made me realize how dumb younger me was.

    • Tundra

      Christ.

      Nuts punched, then punched a couple more times for good measure.

      • Playa Manhattan

        That article ran a train on my nuts.

    • Rebel Scum

      The police say they broke into the apartment solely to help Adam. They say they acted the way they did to restrain him and get him medical care.

      “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “there was no basis to conclusively link Mr Trammell’s death to the actions taken by the police officers”.

      He just died, no idea why.

      What gets me is that there isn’t even a negligent death charge. This is just a big middle finger to the proles.

      It also should be noted that John Chisholm is the asshole who launched an unsubstantiated investigation into Scott Walker et al with no evidence.

      • Naptown Bill

        John Chisholm should be given some medical attention himself. Good and hard.

      • R C Dean

        Kinda like that homeless guy who the cops beat into a coma, who died in the hospital a few days later.

        He didn’t die from the beating, he died from heart failure, something like that.

        AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED.

      • ron73440

        And Eric Gardner didn’t die from a choke hold, he died from lack of oxygen and he was obese.

    • Naptown Bill

      Ugh, man. I have a cousin who turned 21 last year. I’ve never dug into his diagnosis with my aunt too far because I don’t want to dwell on it, but he’s sort of middle-functioning autistic. If you picture Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man as a lanky nerd obsessed with video games, that’s him. The best hope at this point is that he can get to a point where he lives in some sort of assisted living situation. Right now he lives with his mom, but everyone involved wants to get him to a place where he can be as safely independent as possible. Every time I read stuff like this I think of him. He’s extremely intelligent and when he’s taking his meds he can generally navigate social interactions well enough–not well, but no worse than being kind of a brusque weirdo who might be on acid, if that makes sense–but I could absolutely see him winding up in the wrong situation and panicking, and then John Law making the situation as bad as he possibly can.

  10. Pope Jimbo

    “totem of the dingus”

    Worst pole to be bottom man on ever!

  11. straffinrun

    The short sentence structures at just the right point got me aroused even though I suspect those ladies were up to no good.

    • Bobarian LMD

      SugarFree story, something something got me aroused

      *blink…

      *blink…

      A new low has been reached.

    • Swiss Servator

      Go home, Staff…you’re drunk!

  12. ron73440

    Speechless after fighting not to laugh, amazing way with words.

    and thrust the tomb of her vagina toward the women.

    Terrifying

  13. Rhywun

    I love that shit-eating grin on Thomas.

    • The Other Kevin

      I hope that picture indicates the two have bonded over a common experience and have formed some kind of alliance.

      • Swiss Servator

        “OK, I will support your fleet Eastern Med to Smyrna – we’ll show RGB who is boss on this board!’

      • Nephilium

        *Applause*

  14. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’ve only read the title, but I’m already afraid.

    • Swiss Servator

      You should be.

      *haunted stare*

  15. Tundra

    A few turned to take selfies with the demonstrations of seething demonic power.

    There’s always one line that drops me.

    Nice work, SF!

    • BakedPenguin

      “Nice work, SF!”

      Agreed. It makes me want to get Photoshop so I can get SNP going again.

      • Tundra

        Well, I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but I really miss SNP. Especially Random Drunken Asshole.

      • BakedPenguin

        Thx. RDA is based on me! But you probably knew that…

      • Tundra

        Uh, I thought it was a composite of about three dozen of us…

    • BakedPenguin

      Also, from the last thread, I liked Unchained too.

  16. Mojeaux

    Great googly moogly.

    • AlexinCT

      I am unsure if that does this justice. Or is it injustice that this does on us…

  17. Raston Bot

    you’ve wrecked that word labia for me. you WRECKED IT!

    • Bobarian LMD

      Picture a pussy hat with eyeholes cut in it.

  18. straffinrun

    Little bit OT, but I guess it takes a professor with tenure to say what I suspect many have secretly thought happened to Ford. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc2Kw_IAQJ0

    • AlexinCT

      WOA! They are going to go after her and kill her for not parroting their nonsense.

    • AlexinCT

      Also note that she is dead on in pointing out that for a group that demands women be treated as equals of men, they sure as hell in practice demand everyone treat women as incredibly fragile both mentally and physically, while simultaneously putting out the premise all men are evil predators.

  19. Rebel Scum

    as she raised her arms and thrust the tomb of her vagina toward the women.

    Eloquent.

    • BakedPenguin

      Remy, Too chilly, a couple others.

      But yeah, it’s sad compared to what it was

    • Certified Public Asshat

      *See Fist in comments, tear rolls down cheek*

      Hell, I even miss Sarcasmic.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        man, but otherwise: that randomness

  20. Creosote Achilles

    You know, maybe with horrors like this abroad in the world, the Moroni and the colonizing N. America isn’t too much to swallow if it will offer some protection from this.

    • Gadianton

      Why, thank you sir.

      • Creosote Achilles

        Thank you! That wasn’t intended as a shot so glad it wasn’t taken that way.

  21. wdalasio

    The hat. The hair. These creatures work against us, offal from sidereal hells unknown.

    Huh. I never though The Hat and The Hair were ever evil, just twisted and a bit demented.

    So, the entire Trump / Clinton war isn’t so much a good-evil thing, as a Dungeons and Dragons Chaotic Evil versus Lawful Evil. I guess as a libertarian, if I’m going to have to side with an evil, it may as well be chaotic.

    • wdalasio

      Oh, and by the way, SugarFree, this is a masterpiece.

    • kinnath

      I’d put Trump and cohorts more in the chaotic neutral square.

      • tarran

        Trump is actually chaotic good. Seriously. He’s got some fucked up concepts, but he is very sincere in his desire to help out his fellow Americans.

        This is a big part of the “RHEEEEEEEEEE” coming from the nomenklatura. They can handle corrupt. They can’t handle sincere.

      • Creosote Achilles

        I’d agree with this. He genuinely loves the country, I think. Part of why people respond to him. That photo of him hugging an American flag with a shit-eating grin looks genuine, not staged.

      • kinnath

        His intentions are good. His results are hit and miss (with more hits than misses over the first two years).

      • Rhywun

        I think you’re on to something. It’s certainly different from Herself, Obama, and their ilk.

      • invisible finger

        Hate him or not, it is a massive relief that Trump takes to Twitter when he wants to babble instead of having a prime time press conference every week to talk about how great he his.

      • wdalasio

        I’d put Trump and cohorts more in the chaotic neutral square.

        Normally, I would, too. But, if The Hat and The Hair hail from “sidereal hells unknown”, I have to assume evil.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, but consider the source calling the sidereal location “hells.”

  22. The Late P Brooks

    LALALALALALALALALALALA!

    *climbs on roof, jumps off*

    • Private Chipperbot

      You fall into the vaginal tomb only to be put back on the edge of the roof again.

      /screams, jumps.

      You fall into the vaginal tomb only to be put back on the edge of the roof again.

      /screams, jumps.

      • ron73440

        That almost killed me.

        Fucking Hilarious.

      • SugarFree

        infinite recursion is a frequent nightmare of mine.

      • Tacit Rainbow

        int sugarfree(void) {
        sugarfree();
        return 0;
        }

      • Bobarian LMD

        The vaginal tomb makes it a lot better, though.

  23. Mad Scientist

    All hail SugarFree!

    • Bobarian LMD

      Does this mean we should give him the Kavanaugh and throw ice at him?

    • Swiss Servator

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh SugarFree Writer’s Workshop wgah’nagl fhtagn”

  24. The Late P Brooks

    He’s got some fucked up concepts, but he is very sincere in his desire to help out his fellow Americans.

    I agree with this. And his idea of “helping” does not involved the smothering “love” of the welfare state. Say what you will about the help he got from his father, it was not contingent on long term learned helplessness.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    His intentions are good. His results are hit and miss (with more hits than misses over the first two years).

    I’m sure he has political consultants whispering in his ear (see: ethanol), but I really don’t think he is immersed in the calculus of the ballot box to the same extent as the inside-the-beltway mob (cough- Hillary -cough).

    That’s why they got steamrollered.

    • kinnath

      Trump is a man who maintains his wealth by knowing who the real customers are and what the real customers want.

      As a result, he actually cares what the electorate wants and fears unlike pretty much every political operative out there.

      The only time he gets wonky is when he is chasing two customers at the same time (labor wants tarrifs; farmers don’t but they’ll take subsidies).

      • Naptown Bill

        He played the system in ways I find distasteful in the extreme in making his money, but maybe the counterargument is to hate the game, not the player.

      • WTF

        “S’all good, man!”

      • BakedPenguin

        Great show

      • ron73440

        I don’t like Donald Trump, never really cared for him when he was just a famous rich guy.

        That being said, I believe he is the best president of my lifetime (a very low bar)

        I might vote for him in 2020, not sure yet, but the thought of voting for Bill Weld really makes me nauseous.

        Who am I kidding, I haven’t voted yet and probably won’t break my streak now.

      • Naptown Bill

        I can’t think of a president I’d describe as “good”. I was too young to really be aware of politics when Reagan was president, and HW I just remember as some guy. Clinton was the first president I remember distinctly from a policy perspective. I find Trump to be the least objectionable president in my political life.

        For the record, the current standings are Trump > Clinton > W > Barry. But Obama is a distant, distant 4th. W’s cardinal sin in my mind is the PATRIOT Act and the DHS it created.

      • ron73440

        Notice I did not use the word “good”.

        Unfortunately the best in this case is still a long way from good.

      • Creosote Achilles

        I find the phrase “least worst” a good thing to use here.

      • AlexinCT

        I have warmed up to Trump because he finally proved my point that the only way to beat the evil crime syndicate’s players at their destructive game, was to play by their own rules. I suspect that is why they hate him so much more than they would have hated any other team red asshat. Granted he did manage to win an election team blue thought it had totally rigged for Hillary as well. Talk about events that might make you wonder if this country is truly watched over by some higher power.

      • invisible finger

        Just remind people that if Real Hitler ran against Hilary, Real Hitler would have won, too.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Wouldn’t have had to even shave off the mustache.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’ve said on here before, but Trump is accidentally the most libertarian president we’re likely to ever see.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    A dim glimmer of awareness

    As the confirmation of Justice Brett Kavanaugh made its painful way through the Senate, a number of liberals began to make an important discovery: The U.S. Senate is undemocratic. Small states get the same quantity of senators as large states.

    ——-

    Dissatisfaction with this aspect of constitutional design fits in with leftover frustration over the Electoral College in 2016. Together these nonmajoritarian flaws are breeding demands for change. Something must be done, the critics say, to avoid rendering the Supreme Court, presidency and perhaps the entire Constitution illegitimate.

    Wait, what?

    That’s some convoluted, ass backward “thinking”.

    • ron73440

      Isn’t that why the Senate was originally appointed by the State Governments?

      They really want New York and California to decide everything? I know, feature, not bug.

      • commodious spittoon

        With Illinois being Greece to New York’s Germany.

      • Rhywun

        ITA.

        /Germany

    • R C Dean

      Something must be done, the critics say, to avoid rendering the Supreme Court, presidency and perhaps the entire Constitution illegitimate.

      One thing might be to stop calling the Constitutional functioning of our government illegitimate.

      • The Other Kevin

        If I don’t get my way, then clearly the system is broken.

      • AlexinCT

        This is basically it. They want to call the shots whether they win elections or not, and when that is not the case, then the system is broken.

      • Chipwooder

        Yep. These stories disappear when Democrats hold power.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I’m beginning to think they want a new Constitutional Convention. The delegates will be nothing like James Madison or George Mason. Anything to usher in the new leftist utopia which of course they think will be nothing like the old leftist utopias.

      • Mad Scientist

        They think it’s illegitimate because they think it’s supposed to be a democracy, and fail to understand why it’s quite intentionally a constitutional republic instead. The only thing they understand is majority rules (so long as they’re in the majority.)

      • cyto

        extra bonus funny was the bitter complaining in the senate judiciary committee about “the majority ramming this through”.

        Here was the money quote — From Presidential Hopeful Kamala Harris:

        “We are a Democracy! Not a tyranny of the majority!!!”

        You can’t make that stuff up.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        She actually said that?

        *googles*

        Jesus, she’s even dumber than I thought

      • R C Dean

        If you had asked me who said that, I would have gone with Occasional-Cortex.

      • ron73440

        I thought no way can that be a correct quote, so I googled it

        There should not be tyranny of the majority. We have a democracy,

        Holy Shit, I knew she was dumb, but COME ON MAN.

      • R C Dean

        And then she moved right on to complaining about small states having as many Senators as large states, right?

  27. R C Dean

    Dang it! Now I want a totem of the dingus.

    • AlexinCT

      Do an Amazon search for donkey sized dildo?

    • Rhywun

      Pussy willows are popular on Dingus Day – coincidence? I think not.

      • Nephilium

        For those in an area without a large Polish population, Dyngus Day.

        Traditionally, boys throw water over girls and spank them with pussy willow branches on Easter Monday, and girls do the same to boys.

        It also means you probably don’t have access to Pączki.

      • Tres Cool

        ex girlfriend (OG-2X-OG) was a polock from Cleveland, and was thrilled to see pączki available here in Kroger.

      • Nephilium

        If you want, remind me as we get close to Lent, and I can pack some up to ship to you.

      • Nephilium

        Whoops, sorry, missed the ex at the beginning until right after I clicked post.

      • commodious spittoon

        Tres probably prefers empanadas.

      • Tres Cool

        Not necessary. As I pointed out, both Kroger and Meijer down here seem to carry them.
        We’re not in a pączki desert in SW Ohio.
        Or maybe pączki dessert.

      • Ted S.

        Traditionally, boys throw water over girls and spank them with pussy willow branches on Easter Monday,

        They do the same thing in the Czech and Slovak lands.

  28. AlexinCT

    Was this caused by Hillary’s claim that civility is impossible, the shitshow they put us through with Kavanaugh, or by this SF post?

    Vote here. I say it was SF’s post.

    • Bobarian LMD

      SF’s post causes a completely different type of madness.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Still not on the beach, but I do have a bucket of iced Modelo today. Bring on the SF, it’s a black swan for what’s in front of me right now.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Raise the minimum wage.

    Instead of trying to raise wages by the dubious and roundabout technique of antitrust, why not just raise wages directly?

    Requiring all businesses, regardless of size, to pay a higher statutory minimum wage would have two salutary effects. First, it would help level the playing field, so that small firms can less easily compete unfairly against large companies that pay their workers a more decent wage.

    ———-

    Undoubtedly, a higher minimum wage will mean that some small firms whose business model is based on cheap labor will go out of business. Good riddance. Their assets and employees can be absorbed by more productive firms.

    ———

    Robert D. Atkinson is president of the Information Technology and Innovation Foundation, a research group, and co-author of “Big Is Beautiful: Debunking the Myth of Small Business.”

    Michael Lind is a visiting professor at the LBJ School of Public Affairs at the University of Texas. He is co-author of “Big Is Beautiful: Debunking the Myth of Small Business.”

    “it would help level the playing field, so that small firms can less easily compete unfairly against large companies that pay their workers a more decent wage” Umm, wut?

    “Good riddance.” Yeah, fuck you, too.

    • AlexinCT

      It’s as if these people think the basic laws of economic are fungible. How do you propose these employers other than the government that can simply fuck over tax payers pretty much at it’s leisure to cover this additional cost? I am sure the marxist can’t see that while in their fantasy world said employer will just have to forgo profits or paying themselves, in the real world the customer will now have to pay $15 for that burger that used to cost $3 before they forced that minimum wage on everyone.

      • cyto

        Or not.

        They might just not have burgers any more.

        [citation needed] – see Venezuela.

      • AlexinCT

        I guess that is one way to solve the problem. When there is nothing more left to sell, you won’t have to worry about cost.

        As I tell people all the time that you can immediately see why the collectivist defined minimum wage argument is idiotic. Their argument is predicated on the marxist belief that the working man is the most important item in any labor relation, and hence that wage. I point out that if you plan to pay a guy shining turds for a living the same as you plan to pay a guy driving the bus or flying the plane, then you are eventually going to have a real problem. See Venezuela.

    • Rhywun

      “But people might have their own reasons for preferring to work at a smaller comp-”

      “Fuck them.”

    • Raven Nation

      Ah, yes, Michael Lind…

      “This, then, is the story I have to tell about the Vietnam War. It was necessary for the United States to escalate the war in the mid-1960s in order to defend the credibility of the United States as a superpower, but it was necessary for the United States to forfeit the war after 1968, in order to preserve the American domestic political consensus in favor of the Cold War on other fronts. Indochina was worth a war, but only a limited war – and not the limited war the United States actually fought.”

      Lind, “Vietnam – the Necessary War”

    • R C Dean

      Requiring all businesses, regardless of size, to pay a higher statutory minimum wage would have two salutary effects. First, it would help level the playing field, so that small firms can less easily compete unfairly against large companies that pay their workers a more decent wage.

      Close call. Almost gave away the game there, crony.

      Undoubtedly, a higher minimum wage will mean that some small firms whose business model is based on cheap labor will go out of business. Good riddance.

      Christ, what an asshole.

    • Rebel Scum

      small firms can less easily compete unfairly against large companies

      ???????

      Undoubtedly, a higher minimum wage will mean that some small firms whose business model is based on cheap labor will go out of business. Good riddance.

      So you are in favor of large, corporatist monopolies created by government intervention in the market?

      • R C Dean

        See, I would have gone with “You Know Who Else was in favor of large, corporatist monopolies created by government intervention in the market?”

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Mussolini?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Everybody in Washington?

    • Ted S.

      The minimum wage is, of course, zero.

  31. cyto

    Alright…. I’ve been hearing all these democrats talking about packing the court (curiously, several talked about packing the court when they take the House – understanding government is not their strong suit). So I thought up a plan for the R’s that I wanted to run by you guys….

    Assuming they retain control of the Senate, the Donald should seize upon their ideas and put forward a plan to pack the court. He appoints a 25 member court, with most being young judges, in the 35 year old range. They are appointed with the understanding that they will go along with the plan.

    The congress then passes a law that sets the size of the court at 9 justices. But it allows that any currently serving justice is grandfathered in and can remain on the court. That way no new justices can be appointed until there are fewer than 9 left.

    Then, after 30 years of republican control over the Supreme court, the next time the republicans have control the justices resign en-mass. This allows the new Republican president to appoint a whole new court, ensuring control for another generation. Using this method, the republicans should be able to maintain control of the court for at least 100 years. Only accidental deaths after the first 30 years would allow Democrats the opportunity to appoint a judge, so this would have to happen 5 separate times before control of the courts flipped. If the justices stuck with the plan, it could lead to essentially permanent control.

    • Rhywun

      Permanent rape culture. Sure, why not.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      At this point an 8 person court half conservative and half liberal is the only thing that will make everyone happyish.

    • commodious spittoon

      Only accidental deaths after the first 30 years would allow Democrats the opportunity to appoint a judge

      Or, you know, the non-accidental variety.

  32. invisible finger

    At worst its “put another rapist on the Supreme Court.”

    And we don’t know how many people RBG has raped. I’m not saying she raped anyone, I’m saying I don’t know if she didn’t.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      She Raped Cthulu, I have Proof!

    • Rhywun

      Sounds credible.

    • Gustave Lytton

      She probably doesn’t know if she didn’t at this point either.

    • ron73440

      All of her accusers would have died of old age by now, so what difference at this point does it make?

      • invisible finger

        Are you suggesting the FBI is incapable of performing seances as long as a Republican is in the White House? Surely a seance would be admissible if a Democrat executive were in charge.

  33. R C Dean

    I actually feel bad for Ginsburg. She’s obviously in poor health, and even a minimal daily routine at SCOTUS must be a real burden for her. Shame she won’t just step down. Probably really regretting not letting Obama appoint her replacement.

    Those knit wool gloves make me think she must be having some kind of circulatory or blood pressure problems.

    • ron73440

      Yep, I think she though Herself had it in the bag so she could wait to retire.

      WHOOPS!

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Probably really regretting not letting Obama appoint her replacement.

      Why I do not feel bad for her.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Probably because you’re a rape denying shitlord.

      • ron73440

        Aren’t we all?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Yes, but he asked the question.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That was her mistake. In that respect, I don’t feel sorry for her in the least.

      As far as I’m concerned, she’s now a bitter clinger.

      • R C Dean

        I know its self-inflicted, but still. I see enough really old frail people every day to have an inkling how much it must suck.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It does. I have sympathy for her in that regard. But she doesn’t have to show up to work anymore, that’s her choice.

      • invisible finger

        Agree, but on the other hand working can help take one’s mind off of how much frailty sucks.

      • ron73440

        Notorious RBG, the bitter clinger.

        I like it.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    There should not be tyranny of the majority.

    Unless the majority agrees with me. Then it’s okay.

    What a maroon.

    • ron73440

      I wonder if she remembers Obamacare?

      • AlexinCT

        That was totes legit and democracy in action. Her point is that whether they win the election or not, democracy only happens when democrats call the shots.

      • R C Dean

        democracy only happens when democrats call the shots.

        ITS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!

  35. The Late P Brooks

    It was necessary for the United States to escalate the war in the mid-1960s in order to defend the credibility of the United States as a superpower

    “Look, Billy, nothing personal, but if I don’t push somebody around once in a while, my credibility as a bully is shot. Guess what- you’re up.”

  36. Warty

    I can’t believe we get to live in a world of such beauty. Magnificent.

  37. westernsloper

    Now RBG has entered the story? Christmas came before Halloween this year. Superb!