“They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold dead fingers,” the hat said, turning from the TV in disgust.
“You don’t have fingers,” the hair replied.
“I have fingers,” Donald mumbled.
“I mean, just look at this,” the hat said, gesturing to the TV awkwardly. “Is there no one thin in Ohio? They all look like tattooed manatees.”
The hair ruffled the newspaper he was reading and faked a hacking cough.
“What?” the hat asked. “Look at the TV.”
“Swing state,” the hair said, cutting his eyes toward the TV.
“I know it’s a swing state,” the hat said hotly.
“I knew a girl from Ohio once,” Donald said. “She gave great head.”
“That’s nice,” the hair said.
“Big mouth,” Donald said. “Could fit the whole thing in there, including the balls. It was amazing.”
“OK, Donald,” the hat said.
“No gag reflex. Just tremendous. Starred in that TV show about cops.”
“Well that narrows it down,” the hat said.
“Is that from a song?” Donald asked the frightened social secretary who stood frozen in the Oval Office. “I knew a girl from Ohio once / She gave great head,” he sang tunelessly. “Neil Young, maybe?”
“Young sang a song about Ohio, but there wasn’t anything about getting head in it that I remember,” the hair said.
“All songs should be about getting head,” the hat said gruffly.
The secretary stared at the hat and the hair on the desk for a little too long.
“Uh, I think we got a live one,” the hat said.
“Then shut up,” the hair whispered.
The hat and the hair sat like a hat and a toupee, motionless and quiet until the secretary stopped looking at them.
“Mr. President?” she finally ventured.
“Who are you?” Donald asked angrily. “What are you doing in here? Don’t have have any goddamn security?”
“You asked to see me, sir. To help coordinate your trip to El Paso.”
Donald picked up his hair and jammed it onto his head roughly. He perched the hat on his shoulder like a devilish parrot and said, “Speak! I have no secrets from my advisors.”
“Advisors?” she asked, looking around the room.
“These two idiots,” he said pointing to the quiescent hat and hair. “They bicker like old women, but they keep me on the straight and narrow.”
The social secretary made an effort to close her gaping mouth.
“Let’s get down to business,” Donald said. “I want to ride in on a pegasus. A white one.”
“A pegasus, sir?”
“Winged horse. From Greek mythology. I guess we hired you on looks alone.”
“Sir?” she asked in a pained voice.
“Wait, did you sign your NDA yet?” Donald asked.
“Yes. I mean, yes, sir.”
“Good. Grand. Gramendous. I said, ‘I guess we hired you on looks alone.’ That’s me suggesting you aren’t very bright. Unlike me. I’m a genius.”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“Tell me that I’m a genius,” Donald ordered.
“Y-you’re genius, sir,” she said.
“Kind of skinny, but you’ll do,” he said. “Watch this.”
Donald slammed his hand down on the Diet Coke button and one rose from a slot in the desk. The disembodied voice of Shania Twain sang, “MAN, I feel like a woman!” Donald giggled and knocked the unopen can of soda on to the floor.
“MAN, I feel like a woman!” sang Shania again and a Diet Coke rose.
“MAN, I feel like a woman!” sang Shania again and a Diet Coke rose.
“MAN, I feel like a woman!” sang Shania again and a Diet Coke rose.
“I can have all I want!” Donald crowed.
The social secretary nodded as she back out of the room.
“Hey,” Donald asked her. “Anyone ever tell you you got a yuge mouth?”
“Let’s get down to business,” Donald said. “I want to ride in on a pegasus. A white one.”
This is like one of those Babylon Bee satires that’s so on the nose that it’s hard to tell if it’s real or parody.
The Chinese genetically engineered one, to use in trade negotiations
“Mr. President, should you relax these tariffs, I have been instructed by President Xi to offer you this as a token of his gratitude. We have already saddled the beast so you may ride it back to Washington.”
“Could fit the whole thing in there, including the balls. It was amazing.”
I now have sadz that I have never experienced this.
It’s painful to realize you will die without achieving all you could in life.
I think this is where I’m supposed to link to big booty babes.
Look at it this way – maybe his tiny junk is what enabled this feat.
Some of us never will. It doesn’t mean what. you think it means. Don’t be sad.
“I want to ride in on a pegasus. A white one.”
Sorry, Trump- you could ride in on a palanquin carried by the Apostles, with Jesus himself riding shotgun, and it wouldn’t help.
Shotgun? Triggered.
“Big mouth,” Donald said. “Could fit the whole thing in there, including the balls. It was amazing.”
I learned something. I was never aware that size mattered in some experiences
On topic:
https://apnews.com/bdb661de1fe14e58951102349d5d44be
Fucking cowards.
You gotta love the unquestioned assumption that more laws will magically stop mass shootings, even though they can’t explain how any law would stop a determined nut with no regard for his own safety and no interest in following the law.
Every time more anti gun laws are proposed I think of this
https://www.nytimes.com/1978/02/11/archives/youth-guilty-of-causing-25-deaths-in-bronx-social-club-fire-in-1976.html
And the deadliest school attack in American history
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_School_disaster
I think of this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cumbria_shootings
https://babylonbee.com/news/why-cant-we-return-to-how-peaceful-the-world-was-before-guns
The Happy Land fire killed even more — more than any mass shooting, too.
they
would be ineffective regarding mass shootings.blatantly unconstitutional on multiple counts.Sen Fuckface should have his law license yanked for that shit.
Of course any gun laws are blatantly unconstitutional, but that horse left the barn a long time ago.
Yes, but the complete lack of due process before taking guns isn’t.
Let’s do voter registration & voting next.
Once the precedent is established to be able to carry out restriction/removal of a constitutional right without due process, the other amendments will surely follow. Which of course is probably the goal.
Sure. But those rights will continue to be fully protected by the law. Just like in the Soviet Union.
I cannot imagine how Congress writes a Federal red flag law that isn’t blatantly unconstitutional on the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, and maybe Eighth Amendments as well as the Second. Either it will be purely symbolic and only apply to territories and military basis, or it will be immediately beaten to pieces in the courts.
I think (not sure) a federal red flag law would mean you go to federal court to get your red flag order. I can’t see that happening very often.
Probably the best they could do would be to tie it to federal highway funding or somesuch.
EF was going nuts when I told her about the “Red Flag” laws.
And I sure would hate to be the cop who had to show up and confiscate someone’s guns. “A sudden spike in police deaths”.
That will be unpleasant. If a real resister gets wind of the cops coming, he’ll set himself up a 100 yards away in cover and concealment with a deer rifle and really do some damage.
They won’t send a couple of donut-chasers in a squad car. These will be SWAT events. “Subject has been adjudicated as dangerous and is armed” – that’s a SWATting.
I look forward the bitter divorce with the wife calling this down on her husband, and realizing after he is killed that there ain’t gonna be no alimony or child support.
I’m sure some real gun nut with some hipo hardware can find out if SWAT can bleed and die like anyone else. /just a comment not a threat.
Hypothetically, would .308 rounds be stopped by the body armor SWAT teams use?
Asking for a friend.
Cops are pretty good at indoor fighting. Pretty bad at fighting in open outdoor spaces. Just sayin.
They are determined to piss off their base and lose to the Dems as a result. They aren’t The Stupid Party for nothing.
Bipartisanship=Evil+Stupid.
Exactly
I don’t think they piss off their base too much. There are a lot of loud voices calling for them to “do something”, and to them this was the least terrible way to do it. Plus this type of law is easy to dismiss as “It will never happen to ME”. It’s much less tangible than “That rifle you have in your safe is now illegal, and you must turn it in or face being arrested.” It is definitely easy to abuse, but I don’t think many people look that far ahead.
And it’s being done at the state level.
Already shitty states will get shittier by a wide margin.
Good states…I guess we’ll see.
From our state group:
They are just gonna keep pushing this shit. I hope there are enough people and will to push back.
ramrod through their gun control agenda
I hope they don’t go off half-cocked because they could lose a legislative showdown lock, stock, and barrel. Such a flash-in-the-pan effort could dampen voter enthusiasm, so maybe they should just wait and keep their powder dry: after all, a half-baked effort would only be a shot in the dark.
You’re just trying to make yourself a target for a narrow gaze. But please leave some puns for the rest of us.
sorry: was stuck on full auto
*recoils in shock*
a lot of loud voices calling for them to “do something”
Those loud voices are the Democrats running the media.
And when this shit doesn’t do a goddamned thing, then the response will be “Well, we just have to go farther now”
Exactly.
Fucking progressives driving the speed limit.
That is exactly their intent. They have no desire to stop mass shootings. They need mass shootings to further their agenda, which is to take the ability to defend oneself away from everyone.
At least Trump ruled out banning “assault weapons”.
Some kind of background check stupidity was inevitable because it has immense bipartisan support. The only reason Democrats couldn’t get it passed under Obama is they tried to include a bunch of other gun control shit.
Funny – I bought a gun a couple years ago – went through a state background check – THEN my ID was run through the FBI database – then I could actually give the man my money and leave with my Constitutionally guaranteed product. But now the system is going to be way better because.
Oh wonderful.
Your wife of 30 years left you and you’re depressed? RED FLAG
You’re upset over some shit you saw over in Iraq? RED FLAG
You have social anxiety? RED FLAG
Those intrusive questions your doc keeps asking are starting to make more sense now, huh?
The questions I refuse to answer, yep.
Nonresponsive?
?
Then I’ll just stop going to the doctor.
Failed to take of your personal health?
?
DAMMIT!
? ? ?
Overuse of red flags.
?
And that’s how you get mandatory psych evals before you’re allowed to own a gun.
Sigh
Yup. I’m sure me telling nurses to go pound sand when they ask the “Are you safe in your home?” question will also get me on the RED FLAG list.
“Do you know how many people get hurt or die in their homes? It’s astronomical! The only place close to the fatality rate is a hospital.”
When the girlfriend fell off her bike on a ride a couple years back. She bounced off her face and head (wear your helmets people), and wanted to get checked out. So she’s got scrapes and bruises all over one side of her body, and while I’m sitting there in the ER with her (we were sent there from one of the clinics), she got asked the question, “Do you feel safe in your house?” I was sorely tempted to stage whisper into her ear, “You better answer this the right way bitch.”
“Are you selling security systems?”
Yeah, during the intake portion of both of our kids births I have been asked to leave the room so the nurse can question my wife about the safety of the home.
Also, my wife said that when the kids were starting school she was asked if we had guns in the house during enrollment. She said no, but it probably didn’t help that I was taking them out of school by the 4th grade to go hunting.
“We use our teeth and claws to kill buffalo.”
Teeth and claws? Where is the sport in that?
We hunt them McAfee style!
So spear hunting it is.
Hmph, that’s even less sporting.
If they asked me that question I would probably respond along the lines of “You got any dildoes in yours?”
Next step will be to eliminate the personal relationship loophole. Why shouldn’t anyone be able to report a dangerous person? The warning signs were there but the police couldn’t do anything. Mark my words. That will be the next ratchet when this is passed.
And how many people will choose to forgo any mental health help, knowing it could cost them their guns?
This would really be catastrophic.
And the next time something happens, it will be we tried, just have to ban moar.
Well they will just make it mandatory to meet with a mental health expert (who works for the govt) every quarter.
That will fix that problem.
Dammit.
Yeah if they try that the law won’t last very long.
Inconvenience American voters at your own peril.
I could hardly come up with a strategy myself to guarantee that there will be more mass shootings.
“See something, say something.”
Shit posting on the internet? Red flag!
What could go wrong with the federal government partnering with the psuedo-scientific field of psychiatry to confiscate guns from people? Sounds like a perfect system.
Well done, Republicans and Democrats.
The Soviets would be very pleased by such politicization of mental health.
Are you suggesting all of Congress are just Putin puppets?
RUSSIA!!!
Hence the “red” flag. It’s a dog whistle don’t you know.
*readjusts tin foil hat at a jaunty angle*
Just owning a gun is red flag enough.
That sounds like a Babylon Bee article waiting to happen.
federal grant program to encourage states to adopt “red flag” laws
So as optional as stripping adults 18-20 of being able to buy alcohol, speed limits, and others?
Could be worse though. I took some solace that the federal government will not be directly managing it.
Yet.
And at some point, actual nutters will get red flagged and some bad shit will go down.
That’s not good for anyone.
My question for the red flaggers is:
How many dead people is your red flag law worth? Because people will get killed when the doorkickers show up unannounced. You do realize these will be full-on SWAT raids, right? With flash bangs and assault rifles and everything. Because when the cops hear someone is armed and dangerous and needs to be dragged out of their home, that’s who they send.
So, how many dead people? Ten? A hundred? What happened to “if it saves one life”, anyway?
Eh. It will just be blacks, browns, rednecks, and a bunch of other not popular “colors”.
What are you worried about?
Woohoo! I’m going to be just fi… checks zipcode… Shit.
“What happened to “if it saves one life”, anyway?”
Well that refers to the life worthy of life. Not untermenschen like gun-owning Deploranazis.
If people get killed getting their guns confiscated that just proves they were dangerous sociopaths who needed to have their guns confiscated. Omelets, etc.
You have guns? RED FLAG
You know that’s where it will wind up.
I don’t know about other states but in Louisiana if you are deemed a danger to yourself or others you not only lose your guns but you get institutionalized at least for a period of time to determine the veracity of that determination.
New red flag laws are bullshit whose end is to put together a list of deplorables to be disarmed.
You really want to get your blood boiling?
Just think how there will be law enforcement carve outs in how these laws will be implemented.
Also, I am moderately confident that these laws wont fly. They will get tossed.
I do not share your confidence, given the performance of Kavanaugh and “Penaltax” Roberts.
Was going to say that.
This all sounds very unconstitutional to me. As in breaking due process. Any state law that manages not to do that is decently toothless.
The more I think on it, the more I am not as worried. This will be mostly an expensive and dumb waste of time.
A bunch of states already have these laws. Where are are the court cases to strike them down?
As I said we have ‘danger to self or others’ laws here but they all involve due process.
I see some tremendous business opportunity for discreet gun storage services during divorces and other family unpleasantness. I’ll call my storage facility “the Boating Mishap”.
I really hope this is what finally gets South Carolina Republicans to primary Lindsey Graham out of office. If only there was an effective lobbying organization to protect my Second Amendment Rights…
Probably not. A lot people around here are hoping on the DO SOMETHING train.
“These two idiots,” he said pointing to the quiescent hat and hair. “They bicker like old women, but they keep me on the straight and narrow.”
I love this. Best characters ever.
“tattooed manatees” is what made this episode for me
Same here.
For me….”Good. Grand. Gramendous.”
I fully intend to use “Gramendous”.
*jots note to use both “gramendous” and “clowntard” at next compliance meeting*
Is this Suthens doing?
https://hotair.com/archives/jazz-shaw/2019/08/07/youve-got-lot-30-50-feral-hogs/
“…musician Jason Isbell questioned the necessity of ordinary Americans to own an “assault weapon,”
I am certain of this: Jason Isbell is not qualified to decide what I need or don’t need.
Goddammit I sit down in front of the computer for 2 minutes and I am pissed off.
I really enjoy H&H because my wife’s friend’s husband is close enough to the situation to tell stories. I like comparing the stories to H&H.
How accurate is it?
Some surprising parts are accurate. Some accurate parts would be criticized as too fake if SF included them.
OT: Today’s lack of self-awareness award goes to…
https://theweek.com/articles/857296/crisis-american-loneliness
“According to a recent YouGov survey, some 30 percent of American millennials say that they are “lonely.” More than 20 percent report that they have no friends; a quarter claim to have no close ones.”
Sad, but take some responsibility for your own life. Join a club, get a hobby, stop being so useless and blaming your problems on others.
“We can make facile jokes about avocado toast and baristas with degrees in cultural studies who spend more time on Instagram than they do in real-life conversations with non-customers.”
Because someone held a gun to their head and made them major in something useless, as well as not interact with real people.
“It is increasingly difficult to think of a single area in which we have made worthwhile social or economic progress in the last 30 years.”
So stupid it doesn’t even deserve to be refuted.
“Others are not so lucky. In addition to having done almost everything we can to make raising a family unaffordable in this country, we have tried our very hardest to make the prospect seem horrifying, especially for expectant mothers.”
Get a fucking life.
“Even fornication is boring”
You’re doing it wrong.
“For a long time it was possible to say that Americans had an economy in lieu of a society. Financialization and automation could spell the end of the former soon enough. What will be left?”
Lemme guess: Communism is the solution.
“We have no hobbies”…..well, whose fault is that?
You get to know people really well in the camps. At least before the try to kill you for a bit of potato skin.
Go to a bar and talk to someone
The solution is to get your kids into a local 4-H club.
Some great pics of shitlords from years back in that story. I never personally joined 4-H myself, but a big percentage of my high school was really into it. Seemed like a pretty cool club if you were a farmer.
I wasn’t in 4H either, but it was a great hunting ground. I have a thing for country gals.
My 4H club wasn’t big on projects and doing community things but we had parties/dances. It was a great place for communications after the Rule of Roberts’ formalities were over and the parents stayed inside to socialize. We were always having a dance that would invite the adjacent clubs over to party with us. We learned more from the farmers’ daughters than the County Agent.
First man: When I was young, I was a member of the 4-H Club.
Second man: When I was young I joined the Mile High Club, but I could never last four hours.
For a long time it was possible to say that Americans had an economy in lieu of a society.
Its possible to say anything.
Of course, much of what its possible to say is stupid, like Exhibit A there.
“We can make facile jokes about avocado toast and baristas with degrees in cultural studies who spend more time on Instagram than they do in real-life conversations with non-customers.”
We make jokes because it’s funny and those people deserve to be mocked
bahahaha….Joaquin Castro’s doxxing of Trump donors backfired a bit in an interesting way
Brooke Singman
✔
@brookefoxnews
EXCLUSIVE: Joaquin Castro outed one of his own donors in a bid to shame @realDonaldTrump supporters.
One Trump donor featured on Castro’s list also donated $1,000 to Castro’s congressional campaign. https://www.foxnews.com/politics/joaquin-castro-outed-one-of-his-own-donors-in-bid-to-shame-trump-supporters …@Castro4Congress
People of means pay off politicians regardless of party affiliation. Film at 11.
It wasn’t a “bid to shame @realDonaldTrump supporters”, it was a bid to cause actual harm to Trump voters by giving the violent leftist loonies their names and addresses.
Yup.
I read somewhere that Castro listed only white Trump donors: Latino donors were omitted. Has anyone seen the source of this rumor?
Didn’t he only list those with a max contribution? Maybe there were no latino ones. IDK.
Or maybe Castro is racist.
Castro. Isn’t that the moron that wants govt to pay for tranny abortions?
His twin brother. Which says a lot about genetic influence in IQ.
Take the embryo and divide by 2
How does a robot have a twin, or are we talking about the rats that operate him?
+1 set of levers.
Yes.
The expanded universe keeps expanding.
Huh. I thought his twin was named River.
So does the Hat and the Hair stop being noticed once they stop talking, are they only alive in the president mind, or is the new intern just horrified to see them talking and is shocked by it. It could honestly be seen several ways:
The president is talking to himself and inanimate objects with a spooky modified voice for each character (Fight Club, Sybil, etc)
The H&H are alive but only able to be detected, noticed, and or remembered when speaking (The Silence in DR Who, Toy story)
They are alive and everyone is shocked, but gets used to it (Horror movies).
Faster and faster, we circle the bowl….
Once again, if you can hear the dog whistle, you’re the dog.
Even so – “clowns”? People have been calling people they don’t like “clowns” for-fucking-ever. This is akin to claiming that “jerk” is a racist dogwhistle term, or “asshole”, or “bitch”, or whatever. It’s pure lunacy.
Queue up the Goodfellas scene.
You need to pay more attention. Everything is racist. Well, with one exception: calling someone racist because of their skin color is totally not racist.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, CLOWNTARD!
I’ll be using “clowntard”, possibly at my next compliance meeting. Thanks, HM.
My pleasure.
Seconded…next contentious meeting I am at, I am breaking that one out. Or, more likely, on the commute home I will use it.
And some people day linguistics isn’t useful.
Others say you shouldn’t post from your phone.
Remember the Great Clown Panic from just before the 2016 election?
Amazingly enough, some Aspie wrote a Wikipedia article on it.
Rubes are fans of tractor pulls. Sophisticated and debonair people like myself grew up with classy Tractor Parades.
I actually remember watching a few of these as a kid and being pretty excited by all the tractors.
Highlight for me of this week’s rodeo parade was all old tractors.
Followed by a modern combine that was the size of a fucking two-story building. Waay cool.
Next time I get to WA, I’m definitely checking this one out: https://youtu.be/nKvw3MJtTe8
A new Tool song is out today after nothing for 13 years. It sounds like a Tool song.
Real creativity comes from developing brains. After 40 musicians compose music that just sounds rote and formulaic. The good stuff comes at the end of the teens through the mid-twenties….mid thirties at the latest.
Agreed. And disappointed. Hoping for at least one gem on the album when it comes out.
Physicists and Poets do their best work before age 30.
Well, that’s because the physicists get tenure and the poets commit suicide.
Shelley:
Oh lovelorn ecstasy that is Mrs Miggins, wilt thou bring me one cup of the browned juices of that naughty bean we call coffee, ere I die?
Mrs Miggins:
[giggles] Oh, you’ve a way with words about you, Mr Shelley.
Byron:
To hell with his fine talking; COFFEE, WOMAN! [coughs] My consumption grows ever more acute and Coleridge’s drugs are wearing off!
Mrs Miggins:
Oh, Mr Byron, don’t be such a big girl’s blouse.
Unconvinced.
I heard it too. Not impressed.
Classic.
Isla Fisher calls out Camila Morrone for allegedly confusing Josh Lucas and Sacha Baron Cohen
The nerve of that bitch!
Who? Who? Who? And who?
Once-hot girl, no clue, no clue, unfunny person married to once-hot girl.
Isla Fisher is still pretty hot isn’t she? She still looked good in whatever that stupid movie was a few years back that had the saving grace of a scene with her and Gal Gadot in lingerie.
It’s the fact she lets Borat put his penis in her that makes her not-hot. It must just a be an abattoir down there.
Dunno, dunno, dunno, Borat.
That was my question as well. My head just filled with question marks in little bubbles.
If you actually read it, it’s even less than that stupid headline. One woman says to the other on Istagram “I’m such a fan of your husband” along with a picture of the first woman with a man who is not Isla Fisher’s husband. To which Isla Fisher responds, “That’s not my husband?”
And that’s it, the article ends. That merited someone publishing a fucking story.
That’s sort of Yahoo!’s thing these days. That and republishing HuffPo opinion pieces as fact.
Well, you can just rock me to sleep tonight…
A conspiracy thought… Could the military industrial complex arms manufacturers be secretly paying proggie politicians to spew their anti-gun balderdash, knowing that it will surely increase gun sales?
Interesting idea. Sales have surely suffered without the “Obama effect.”
Not that they wouldn’t, but they don’t need to.
I generally don’t think of the politicians themselves as the useful idiots, but the manipulators of the useful idiots. It seems to me that the politician’s first principle is enriching itself.
Ana Navarro-Cárdenas
Verified account
@ananavarro
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Trump can speak out against:
* The Squad
* CNN
* Elijah Cummins
* Don Lemon
* Bette Midler
* Mueller
* Schiff
* Paul Ryan
* John McCain
* climate change
* Mayor of London
* athletes who take a knee
* Baltimore
Trump cannot speak against: white supremacist domestic terrorism
Ana Navarro-Cárdenas✔
@ananavarro
I don’t give a damn what Trump says in a scripted speech. He’s already shown us who he is. He’s demonized immigrants, stoked fear, peddled racism his whole presidency and before that. Latinos were hunted down like vermin. Trump has contributed to this climate. Vote him OUT, coño!
Is she still pretending to be a Republican?
She’s a semi intelligent Hispanic Republican that hates Trump with a passion and is willing to say stupid shit to that effect. That’s got to be a fairly sweet paying niche so I don’t see her ever dropping the Republican pretense.
Is she still pretending to be a Republican?
Of course she is. If she were to stop pretending, she’d be useless to the rest of the media.
Forget the fact that Trump has explicitly denounced white supremacists at least half a dozen times. Bitch needs her hearing checked.
He’s not spending enough time on Twitter tweeting about the right things. Or something.
Like she wrote in her Tweet, she doesn’t give a damn what he says. Therefore, he never said it.
Was that list in the first tweet meant to be a bad thing?
(Exception: I don’t care about the athletes. The entire edifice of “professional” sports is a giant farce.)
I think Trump (and a lot of other people) can and should speak out against those things.
“Is she still pretending to be a Republican?”
Embracing Leftist narratives as the word of god is the most Republican thing ever. She’s just driving the speed limit hoping to get “strange new respect” from the NYT
I’m glad pointing out that the guy who’s district is an urban wasteland and should get more of his attention is “speaking out against Baltimore”. Also, I don’t know what coño means, nor do most people who live in Baltimore, which group does not include this worthless bandwagon-jumping Floridian politician.
The fishing expedition will continue until moral improves.
morale*, even.
Yeah, pretty sure the former is a dead letter at this point.
LOL, pound sand.
So, they’re asking for records of Kavanaugh’s service in the White House Counsel’s office.
The Archives should send them those and, in the spirit of transparency blah blah as recited by Nadler, their records of Kagan’s time as Solicitor General.
The stock market decline of the last week has added nearly 3 months onto my projected retirement date.
Which was a BS calculation to begin with, as it depends on so many things I have no idea about.
Wait a few days and check again.
Exactly. I was just updating it for the last paycheck purchase (about a week late, but I was on vacation) and it was amusing.
The main point (for me) is I am on a reasonable pace to retire sometime in my early to mid 60s. And I might even do it at some point after that.
Sargon interviews Zuby, the rapper who identified as a woman while deadlifting in order to joke about claiming the woman’s record:
https://youtu.be/nZo-6lomERU
It’s long, over an hour, but it’s worth a listen if you have the time. Zuby’s a smart guy.
Here’s hoping that the Democrats shoot themselves in the foot by turning down the Republicans’ surrender on the red-flag issue: Chuck Schumer dismisses GOP red flag bill as an ineffective cop-out:
I’m sure the black market gun dealers are going to jump right on the background check bandwagon.
It looks like those who were saying that Trump inserted a poison pill to appear reasonable were correct. Either that or the Democrats are even dumber than the Republicans.
Well, Chuck is a moron. So I can’t say for sure what the truth is.
Yes
Tactical victory and strategic defeat. This shifts the Overton window closer to the gun grabbers.
Agreed. The correct response was “fuck off, guns didn’t cause this.”
And we’re going to repeal a bunch of gun control shit that a) doesn’t work, b) prevent lawful citizens from being able to defend themselves and c) is unconstitutional
Remember when Trump was president and the Reps controlled the house, the senate, and the Supreme Court and the Hearing Protection Act didn’t get passed? Anytime you hear Republicans saying they’ll repeal national gun control measures they’re full of shit.
This time we’ll really repeal Zerocare
Yeah, that’s absolutely shameful. Getting suppressors off the NFA should have been a softball. It’s the stupidest regulation on Earth. Hell, I disagree with it, but I can at least see the tortured logic behind putting bump-stocks on the list, but not suppressors.
Should have framed as the favorite “Well, Europe…”
Trump is cancer. His odds of being re-elected if he signs gun control legislation is basically zero.
Does this idiot really think that he’ll win over NPCs by doing this? They are coded to not think beyond “orange man bad”. Don’t engage them. Mock them.
I live in WI, one of the few states where my vote might actually matter. I was seriously considering voting for him next year, but if he signs gun control legislation that’s absolutely not going to happen.
He wont, hes playing 32d chess again, watch…..
Ditto. If he signs gun control he can go fuck himself.
And it would be political suicide. It won’t convince a single Dem/Left Leaning Indy to vote for him.
I hope your local Republican senator and representatives are smart enough to realize that voting for gun control is electoral suicide, especially in the Midwest
Ordinarily, I would like to believe that (a) they are well aware of how narrow their margin is in the Rust Belt that put him into office, (b) they are also well aware that those states still have a strong hunting tradition and a lot of people who are reasonably serious about gun rights, and would do the math.
But, Stupid Party, impulsive Trump with zero gun rights bona fides, so . . . .
They are so stupid that they honestly believe they can win suburbs by embracing moderate policy positions. The suburbs are not going to vote Republican, because it’s unfashionable. Never underestimate the power of “keeping up with the Joneses” among suburbanites.
It’s on Trump and his advisers to make the right call. The Stupid Party wants to be in the minority.
Nay. McConnell is smarter than Trump and his advisers who mainly exist to undermine him. McConnell needs to bury this nonsense and save Trump from his own idiotic self.
Do it one more time, Cocaine Mitch
It’d be a betrayal of his base that he’d never recover from.
His read my lips moment.
Random idea for a novel: in the future, tribalism has become such a force that political parties regularly campaign for positions misaligned with, or even opposite their natural/current ones, whenever that is seen as being likely to result in a larger share of the vote. Politics has thus been reduced to a race to secure the most advantageous positions at any given time, and of gradual and constant swapping of issues between parties, though confusingly (to the reader), this is seen not to appreciably affect party loyalty at all.
Some tinges of 1984 there, but this would be more about the protagonist’s gradual path to the realization of how what has “felt” like a moral struggle, has really been nothing of the sort.
“protagonist’s gradual path to the realization of how what has “felt” like a moral struggle, has really been nothing of the sort.”
So the future that all progressive college activists realize when they grow-up?
“the future that all progressive college activists realize when they grow-up?”
Lookout, we’ve got an optimist. I don’t think very many of them do grow up.
Maybe chronologically, but definitely not intellectually or emotionally
That’s not even fictional, so I don’t know why you would write a novel about it.
touché, I guess.
Today you learned a valuable lesson: don’t try
I don’t know how you could graduate from high school without learning that.
Actually (not ackshually), I think that’s an excellent idea for a novel. I think the trick would be making it not quite recognizable as our current politics.
This is what I meant by ‘it wouldn’t be easy’. It is hard to do something like that without coming off as preachy.
Staring Warty Hugeman.
It would be difficult to do well but a good idea. Of course it was never a moral struggle. It was always and is now a struggle for power. Bonus if you can work in lots of characters showing examples how 99% of human behavior is about control of others, from the personal on up to national politics.
*Hint – lots of vegans, trannies, feminists etc screaming “look at me! I am special! You have to go out of your way to accommodate me! Do what I demand!”*
As a matter of fact I did have someone show up as a guest of a guest for a dinner once. After looking over the fare to be served she said she was a vegan and couldn’t eat any of it. I said “Well, no one is going to make you eat it”, and then I ignored her. I think she might have left before it was served but I didn’t really notice.
I really don’t mind accomodating someone’s dietary concerns if I know ahead of time. My wife’s deathly allergic to shell fish and seafood we always give warning and people have always been accomodating.
Announcing just before the meal is pretty rude (at a minimun) and I’d take your approach.
Yeah, deathly allergic is not the same. Your wife didn’t choose that so accommodating her would be no problem. In fact it would be my pleasure.
Having someone walk in my kitchen as a guest and saying ‘I am better than you. Your food sucks and you are a bad person’ is another matter altogether. It was really the nicest way I could think of to say ‘fuck off’.
My wife has a weird dietary situation that was largely caused by her mom reading whacko nutrition books and screwing up her diet when she was a kid, but basically she can’t really eat any animals but fish and chicken. She tries beef but it makes her ill, and pork’s right out. So what she does is if she’s invited to a dinner she asks ahead of time if there’s going to be chicken or anything, and if not, she just explains her situation–the shorthand is “I can’t eat mammals”–and asks if there’s anything vegetarian that will be around. Most formal or formal-ish dinners there’s something other than beef or pork so it works out. And with friends and family she either brings something she can eat to add to the pot, like chicken breasts or turkey dogs to grill, or people already know and make something without pork or beef. Her take on it is, and I quote, “I’m the weirdo here, I don’t want to inconvenience people who are nice enough to have me over for dinner.”
We all know Bill’s a vagatarian.
I’m a martyr to it, what can I say?
If I have a guest coming over that I know there are dietary restrictions for, I’ll make an attempt to accommodate them, and let them know what items meet their needs (off to the side). If it’s not someone I invited, then I didn’t know about your restrictions, and here’s what’s available.
After looking over the fare to be served she said she was a vegan and couldn’t eat any of it.
*hands guest of a guest a stalk of raw broccoli*
I stumbled across this video today. From personal experience, at around 5:50 this dude completely obliterates the reasoning behind “red flag” laws.
That was impressive , thanks for the link.
I owe you an apology for mistaking Bronson in your avatar for Swalwell. Was on my phone and the damn thing looked just like a smirking Eric.
None necessary. Bronson might want a word if he was still alive though.
Dodged a bullet.
Wow.
So, I’m at a meeting today, and its about a complaint about one of our doctors. The patient said he was “off the reservation”. Someone at the meeting said “that’s not really appropriate, especially here in Arizona*”. I said “Maybe, fled the plantation?”
Complete, dead silence for a full three seconds. Then the conversation moved on as if nothing had happened.
Its the little things that make my days at the office enjoyable.
*There are two large reservations and one smaller one in the general area.
I always knew there is a good reason I like you RC.
*I am laughing*
Getting away with this stuff, it helps to be a c-suiter who cultivates a reputation for unpredictability and escalation.
As I said in another meeting: “I’m not here to resolve disputes. I’m here to terminate disputes.” When asked what the difference was, I said “Disputes are resolved when both sides get something. Disputes are terminated when the other guy goes away empty handed. The trick is convincing them they are better off leaving while they still can. *dead-eyed stare, uncomfortable silence*”
doesn’t off the rez mean crazy? i thought fled the plantation was more “against the grain” or against orthodox thought.
Pfft. This was about feelz, not about the etymology or meaning of phrases.
the termination of feelz.
If only.
Some of my best memories growing up come from the rez. Vast tracts of uninhabited land perfect for roving bands of juvenile delinquent shitlords.
I would have laughed hard and exposed myself as a shitlord.
Much as I enjoy disrupting meetings, I draw the line at exposing myself.
So far.
RC Dean stays behind cover.
Just noticed, that sentence provides an excellent example of how a comma can change the meaning.
I would have laughed hard and exposed myself, as a shitlord.
On that 1.5mm Nissan verdict for not having side curtain airbags in their entry level cars.
Its a constant annoyance to me that non-compliance with regulations is per se liability, but compliance with regulations is no defense at all.
Of course, you don’t get thrown from a car unless you aren’t wearing a seatbelt, which should be the end of the case.
I don’t think side curtain airbags by themselves would prevent you from being thrown from a car. They are there to cushion your head against an impact with window.
Leaving all that aside, there should be no liability unless side curtain airbags were industry standard in 2016. I have no idea if that is the case; the last car I bought was in 2014, and doesn’t have them.
False alarm of a shooter at USA Today’s offices.
Why the firetrucks?
Cause the Russians are red, and firetrucks are always rushin.
Depends on the town, but some places fire services are the main source of first aid / CPR types, and the trucks just go with
Sometimes a fire truck is just a taxi for FF/EMTs
Around here it is not uncommon for EMT’s to arrive in firetrucks. Double duty I suppose.
I turned a corner in a suburban neighborhood once to see a kid lying motionless in the street in a huge puddle of blood. I stopped, checked him for a pulse, immobilized his neck (head wound from what I assumed was being struck by a car) and called 911. I managed to get most of the bleeding to stop while on the phone with the dispatcher. The EMT’s arrived in two giant fire trucks. I was a bit surprised, but whatever. The guys were full EMTs and the back of the cab of the trucks were set up semi-ambulance style.
He had not been struck by a car, the dummy jumped out of the back of a pick-up truck thinking he could hit the ground running. Turns out that physics doesn’t work the same way in the world as it does in cartoons. I checked in on him a couple of days later. Aside from the laceration and mild concussion he was ok and back at school the next week.
You would deny them an opportunity to get out that sweet hardware and drive it around?
This is what they actually believe.
Headline:
It Might Be Time To Cut My Right-Wing, Trump-Loving In-Laws Out Of My Kids’ Lives