About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

219 Comments

    • Florida Man

      Did you even watch the video?!?

      • LJW

        Yes I did just wanted to get first comment in.

      • Fourscore

        This was recorded live, right?

    • BEAM's not normal, y'all

      No, I think you figured out how most of the MSM generates its click-bait nowadays.

      • LJW

        That too.

      • blackjack

        One weird trick?

  1. Florida Man

    Huh. So the hat & hair are Glibs? Why don’t I see them in the comments section like Steve Smith and Zardoz?

    • LJW

      They’re lurkers.

      • commodious spittoon

        Hat doesn’t strike me as a lurker. Stomper, maybe.

      • Ozymandias

        I think Hat’s using an alias. Now, list of suspects…hmmm…

      • Sean

        *eyes up Yufus*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey,

  2. commodious spittoon

    Not too Glib? He lost my vote.

  3. Tulip

    I love these so much. Thank you

  4. Sean

    I lol’d.

    This topped the Kanye episode.

  5. Ozymandias

    Too Glib? TOO Glib?!?
    Un-possible.

    • Ozymandias

      That’s it, now Bernie gets my vote.

      • Jarflax

        Look on your vote you moron and despair.

      • Not Adahn

        You’ve been waiting to unleash that one, haven’t you?

  6. Tulip

    I was finally able to get a hat and hair mug. But more than $30 after shipping and tax? I hope you get a large portion.

    • CPRM

      Thanks. Which store did you buy from? (Both the CafePress and RedBubble stores have mugs, I wonder how the pricing compares after taxes and fees)

    • Sir Digby

      Tulip, if I had known you were in the market for the merch, I would have told you to contact me; Redbubble gave me the hook-up a break on swag.

      This goes for all you not-too glibs, presuming we can figure out getting your order to you.

  7. Count Potato

    CPRM must have gone through a ton of tape to find that. Kudos.

    • Tulip

      Yes, HE earns every penny

      • Chafed

        Look at you assuming CPRM’s gender. Shitlord.

      • CPRM

        I identify as He-Man, but xe never asked! *runs off crying*

      • Sir Digby

        #XeToo

  8. Not Adahn

    “Feature, not a bug!”

    • Sean

      Smurftastic.

      • Sean

        ??

      • Sir Digby

        I have presumed, for some time now, that HM has the ‘nodding Cosby’ gif somewhere on his computer, and uses it in an official capacity.

        Because, I know I try to…

    • blackjack

      I thought that was from failing to find a mate?

  9. Don Escaped Texas

    @WeGlibertarians

    I’d forget to jump to the new thread half the time without the reminders

  10. Raphael

    I keep forgetting we can’t be too glib.

    • Count Potato

      Apparently, I’m unglib for restarting my browser or something.

      • The Hyperbole

        Well that and being cool with Sex Offender Registries.

      • Count Potato

        I’m against sex offender registries.

      • Sean

        For the obvious reasons…

      • Count Potato

        I’m saying that they should do criminal background checks. Then again, I think kids and drag should be kept separate in the first place.

      • Florida Man

        I went to the gatornationals with my uncle when I was 5. I don’t see the problem.

      • Jarflax

        Reality show idea! Drag²! Drag queens drag racing.

      • blackjack

        That’s racist, man.

      • Jarflax

        Wow that is almost CNN level intellectual slight of hand sex offender registries and background checking people before you hire them to work with kids are not equivalent things at all.

      • The Hyperbole

        Board members were split between those who said registered sex offenders should be automatically disqualified from ever giving a talk at the library, and those who said it should be allowable in some circumstances.

        The article was about banning people on the sex offender registry. That is how they wanted to determine if someone was unfit to read to children. Just because they cloak it in ‘background check’ garb doesn’t mean it can’t/won’t be abused. Instead of ‘reading to children’ think ‘owning a gun.’

      • Jarflax

        Owning a gun is a fundamental right giving a talk in a forum that selects speakers is not. If the debate were about allowing the offenders to use the library, or to speak in an open forum I’d agree with you.

      • Jarflax

        Also the context was you snarkily playing gotcha in a setting that had nothing to do with that article. I am guessing I missed an earlier heated exchange, and maybe I should have checked for that before jumping in.

      • The Hyperbole

        No, there was no earlier heated exchange, I just noticed that the Count had repeatedly posted about the Drag Queen Story Hour and seemed angered that people on a Sex Offender Registry were allowed to read to children. Then He mentioned not being ‘Glib” so I threw that ‘usually’ non-libertarian position (having faith in a government complied list) back at him. If it was snarky or gotcha-y that’s all on me, that’s just how I Troll. Also jump in anytime, the more idea’s the better,and please tell Hyperion to change his handle if you get the chance.

      • Plinker762

        I’m for sex addicted hot chick registeries.

      • Jarflax

        With penises?

  11. The Hyperbole

    Just noticed the little bits under the hair, I could accept them as dandruff but they move with the Hair, also there is a white triangle by Donny’s right elbow that is very disconcerting , and finally I’m certain the the wainscoting in the oval office isn’t staggered. Other than that nice job *Thumbs Up Emoji* *White Power O.K. Emoji*

    • CPRM

      1. The answer to that is laziness, by the time I noticed it I had already rigged the puppetry elements and didn’t want to have to monkey with that again to fix it.
      2. That only shows up sometimes in some players, I’m not seeing in my browser on this one, but I have seen that before. I don’t know where it comes from, it’s not on the model.
      3. FYTW!

    • Raphael

      Seems legit.

      • Sir Digby

        The same pattern of photoshop. Huh….

        ::looks at post::

        She’s Tulpa? She must lurk, then.

  12. Tres Cool

    CPRM, I loved it and I love your work.

    But I was wondering why the hat has a lisp.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Because he has a bill, duh.

      /Daffy Duck

      • commodious spittoon

        How do you explain Sylvester, then?

      • LJW

        Mel Blanc voiced both characters

      • Count Potato

        Did Donald have a lisp? I forgot. I just remember neither of them wore pants.

    • CPRM

      As Hobbit suggests, a little inspiration taken from Daffy Duck (I modeled the original hat’s mouth on daffy’s bill) and also, Master Shake kind of has a lisp, and he was much an inspiration.

  13. Sean

    Tulsi might be a shit candidate, but she still sounds “reasonable” on Tucker. Especially compared to the other Dems.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I pay scant attention to nation politics but the only thing that I recall about Tulsi that was different from the rest of the field was that she was anti-war.

      Now they all sound the same.

      • Sean

        She sounds like she can think and talk at the same time. Way ahead of the other Dem candidates.

        Not an endorsement. At all.

    • Count Potato

      I think she is one of the best candidates, but the DNC was never going to let her win.

      • DenverJ

        Reminds me of the general who quit after the first debate in 2015- Dems ain’t gonna let no non-crazy/corrupt ex-military normie be the nominee.

    • Florida Man

      +1 born to kill
      +1 peace sign

    • Plinker762

      The Great Taco giveth and the Great Taco taketh away

    • Sensei

      You write “Born to Kill” on your helmet and you wear a peace button.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I wore a peace sign on the chain with my dogtags in Basic. Caught a lot of shit about it, too. This was in the Viet Nam War period (1971).

      • DenverJ

        Wow, you’re old.

    • straffinrun

      The taco didn’t kill him. Fake news.

      • DenverJ

        Tacos don’t kill until you marry them.

    • Chipwooder

      Why don’t you get on the team and come aboard for the big win?

      • Ozymandias

        ‘Inside of every gook is an American trying to get out.’

    • Jarflax

      From taco we come, to taco we return as soon as we can, but in the end taco always outlives us.

  14. Count Potato

    “Sex robots with ‘coding errors’ prone to ‘violence and could strangle humans’

    Doll collector Brick Dollbanger fears what could happen if robots are not regulated

    Sex robots plagued with coding errors could be prone to violent behaviours including strangling, an expert has warned.

    Doll collector Brick Dollbanger fears violent repercussions if robotics are not regulated properly.

    He believes a simple “coding error” could turn AI girlfriends against their owners if they are equipped with free will.

    Brick, who has closed ties with manufacturers Realbotix and Abyss, told Daily Star Online: “It scares me to death, it’s a machine and it’s always going to be a machine.

    “If you’ve watched the movies, Ex-Machina, because I honestly believe synthetics are going to look very similar to that movie.

    “It’s not going to be something you can hit with a pipe and it’s going to fall apart.

    “I’ve always said, when a synthetic can support itself, that synthetic is going to be much stronger than a normal human.

    “It’s going to be more durable, instead of having bones it’s going to have high impact, plastic or aluminium frame, it’s going to be very strong, and it won’t get tired, it won’t stop unless it runs out of an energy supply.”

    https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/sex-robots-coding-errors-prone-18992240

    So like Summer Glau in the Sarah Connor Chronicles? HAWT

    • Plinker762

      I thought one had to pay extra for the strangling option

      • Spudalicious

        Feature, not a bug?

    • Raphael

      Finally, the dreams of being choked by a fembot that have stirred in my bones since Austin Powers can finally come true.

      • Sir Digby

        Finally, the dreams of being choked by a fembot that have stirred in my bones since Austin Powers can finally come true.

        Man, I couldn’t resist. Also, you have it, too, huh?

  15. Rhywun

    Today in I hate everyone in this story:

    “First, only theistic prayer can satisfy all the traditional purposes of legislative prayer. Second, the Supreme Court has long taken as given that prayer presumes invoking a higher power,” the court stated.

    I don’t see anyone asking why we need “legislative prayer” but what do I know.

    • hayeksplosives

      Dear Lord, please help the legislators understand that it is OK not to pass new laws and adjourn early.

      • CPRM

        Not a law, but a state legislature rule. We need to call Robert to find out if this against the rules of order.

      • hayeksplosives

        That was my proposed Legislative Prayer, not a lament about the fact that that body of govt has such a rule/practice whatever.

      • Rhywun

        So say we all!

      • hayeksplosives

        My brother wanted to run for office based on the pledge “I will pass no laws; only repeal laws.”

        He was mostly joking.

    • straffinrun

      Could a satanist do it? Be more fitting.

      • hayeksplosives

        Or a Global Warming fear monger. That is a religion.

      • Rhywun

        There’s probably already a court case somewhere that answers this question.

    • creech

      “Because the violation of the 1st is deemed an historic tradition, we need to continue to violate the 1st. ” Thus demonstrating to us that we need to pounce on every constitutional violation immediately before it lasts long enough to take on some historic tradition aura.

      • Rhywun

        Yup.

  16. straffinrun

    Need to see more of that picture on the wall. Other than that, good stuff.

      • straffinrun

        Hawt.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Hmmm (contemplates avatar image)

      • straffinrun

        If you figure it out, let us know. Made me smile for some reason.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        It cuts off her head.

        “Chicks have faces?”

      • Jarflax

        You guys have better eyes or larger monitor than me. I have no idea what half the avatars are.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        We can fix that.

        That’s how I always pictured her.

      • DenverJ

        This is why there are no libertarian wymen.

      • straffinrun

        You obviously missed a certain thread a few months back.

      • Sir Digby

        We can fix that.

        Huh…I thought it was Hyperion and NOT you, straff.

      • straffinrun

        Love all of you unequally.

      • hayeksplosives

        Not sure if flattered or mortified.

        Upon further reflection, neither.

        Just highly amused.

      • straffinrun

        Damn. I was going for both. It’s my go to move.

      • straffinrun

        Haven’t had a “move” in decades. Just enjoy playing around.

      • Sir Digby

        Just enjoy playing around.

        Me, too. Although, I find it helps to have the moves… 😉

  17. hayeksplosives

    I’m loving the Glibs mention. Great find.

    You are dedicated to your craft CPRM.

    • straffinrun

      Never really knew what “glib” meant until 2017.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, CynicalAFbutCopingthroughHumortarians just wasnt catchy enough.

      • Chafed

        Lol

    • CPRM

      Twas the winds of fortune, or the will of the Elder gods, one never can be sure of such things in regards to Hat and Hair.

  18. Tejicano

    Today is the last day of the season for the local public pool. I brought my youngest mostly just to get out of the house and away from the TV and games.

    His favorite pool is a big oval donut-shaped, shallow pool with about a half-dozen water jets creating a flow. I’m just chilling in my pop-up tent/shelter watching the parade of MILFs.

    • DenverJ

      Seems a bit early for closing pools.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Japan remains an open air pool for at least another month or so.

      • Tejicano

        Not this one. It closes when school opens up next week.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was meaning the humidity.

      • straffinrun

        Well, I thought you meant cesspool because Chinese tourist season ends then. Racist.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hey! I’m not a Hong Konger and their 蝗蟲 for tourist mainlanders.

      • Tejicano

        Ah, yeah. Sometimes on my morning runs it feels like I’m breathing soup.

      • Tejicano

        It’s Japan. The rules say that it is too cool to be swimming outdoors in September. It might be 90 degrees and 70 percent humidity but the rules say otherwise.

      • straffinrun

        システムなので….

      • Rhywun

        SMDH?

      • straffinrun

        FYTW.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Tell him about the swim cap and rest time…

      • Tejicano

        I don’t really mind the hourly rest breaks. It helps to clear the pool of “floaters” – whether those are poorly monitored infants or products of same.

      • CPRM

        Probably just a Baby Ruth, take a bite and check.

      • Gustave Lytton

        New flavor of Kit Kat?

      • Rhywun

        Eeeeew.

      • Rhywun

        Ugh. That was for Tej.

      • Tejicano

        Hey! Peanuts, you’re right!

    • straffinrun

      Got burned to a crisp at one of those pools a few years ago. Wise move to stay in the tent and pop a tent to the MIRFS.

      • Raphael

        *narrows gaze*

      • Sir Digby

        That’s Krusty-approved.

        Maybe even Crusty approved; I can’t be too sure.

      • Raphael

        Both, both is good.

      • Sir Digby

        Well, you say that…

        /be careful what you wish for

      • Raphael

        We are already blessed by the writings of Sugar Free, nothing can concern me no mo’.

      • CPRM

        nothing can concern me no mo

        I could start animating some of the more grotesque things SF writes, then you would have retract that.

      • Sir Digby

        Of course! ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

      • Sir Digby

        Wow–a time when not refreshing actually kinda worked out.

  19. Chipping Pioneer

    If your account was hacked, how would you know if it was the Chinese or whether it was aliens?

    • CPRM

      That sounds awfully wascist to me.

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    I just woke up to the funniest thing I have heard this year, Great work CPRM!
    Bravo!

    • CPRM

      It happens at least once a month, like a 60 yrs old’s erection.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Heard, not felt, ya whipper snapper,

      • Sir Digby

        I would ask, “Experience?”, but…well, you know.

  21. Sir Digby

    Well, I guess I gotta lead from the bottom of the list and say that this is another homedown, CPRM. You make me proud(er) to wear the shirts.

    • CPRM

      A homedown? I don’t want to know about your key parties.

      • Sir Digby

        Not ho-down, ya degenerate.

      • CPRM

        Degenerate? I’m not the one throwing key parties! (I did take classes on news writing, I know how to spin)

      • Sir Digby

        “Newspeak”, eh?

  22. CPRM

    You know, these usually get around 115 unique hits, not a lot when compared to youtube videos on the whole, but that’s way more people than regularly comment. So the lurkers dig the cartoon as well.

    • Sir Digby

      Maybe word is getting out…?

      • CPRM

        Those have been almost consistent numbers for all 20 eps; so that seems to be regular viewers.

      • CPRM

        And to extrapolate; if each regular viewer only pledged $1 a month, it would almost double my Patreon while allowing many of my current Patrons to pay less per month….basically we got a bunch of freeloaders.

      • Sir Digby

        Can one do that–$1/month?

      • CPRM

        USA Hat
        $1 or more per month

      • CPRM

        The Hair
        $5 or more per month

        Donald
        $10 or more per month

        MAGA Supreme
        $50 or more per month

      • Ozymandias

        This was my first watch and I loved it. I went to your patreon site, CPRM, and I got distracted by kids and wife, then a storm, but you can count me in. I’m also going to go back and watch the rest. I got a good chuckle. Thx for that. And I can only imagine the work it takes to do it, so yeah, value freely given and freely reciprocated… (in the am)

      • CPRM

        Many thanks Ozy; I don’t do it for the money, but we all know that’s a great motivator.

      • straffinrun

        Hmmm, I don’t consider the people who take the time to read my submissions as “freeloaders”. Just happy they took the time to enjoy my work.

      • CPRM

        Because you’re a filthy socialist!

      • Chafed

        Look at Stephen King over here.

      • straffinrun

        I don’t do it for a living, so there’s that.

      • Chafed

        None of us work. Ask Rufus.

  23. Ownbestenemy

    My 14 yr olds are hellbent on an idea for making their own video game, learning C#, graphic design, game theory, etc. Internet is being used for good, as there is countless resources to achieve what they want. Plus I buy up Udemy courses when they are on sale for them to reference

    • CPRM

      Creativity is always worth fostering, even if it leads to disappointment.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Agreed. One of them is our company’s webmaster for our company site.

        Build younglings….build

      • Sir Digby

        Damn!

      • CPRM

        our company site

        For the dog grooming? (that’s you, right?)

      • Chafed

        *licks own balls* Sorry, did you say something?

      • Sir Digby

        *licks own balls*

        As opposed to…?

      • Chafed

        Yours?

        H/t Tonio

      • Sir Digby

        Should I say that I’m touched? ‘Cause, if so, I gotta report you.

        Also, Tonio must move very quietly, because I never noticed.

    • Sean

      Miss Swan was always my favorite.

  24. CPRM

    Time for a bedtime documentary. (I haven’t watched it, well, I mean I’m watching it now to fall asleep, but I can’t vouch for the information, because I’m just now watching it)

    • Chafed

      Who brings elephants to England? The poor beasts will freeze to deathl

      • Sir Digby

        Well, if England won’t go to the elephants…

  25. Chafed

    Great job CPRM. I especially liked the picture on the wall. It’s very Trumpian.

    • Sir Digby

      Cold. Rocky. Shit-hole.

      /::hiss:: don’t tattle on me ::hiss::

  26. KSuellington

    Very glib indeed. Tremendous audio clips there.

      • Chafed

        MeToo. See below.

        You get no credit because you Gilmored the link.

      • Sir Digby

        It works for me…what gives?

      • Chafed

        The Curse of Gilmore.

      • Sir Digby

        I’ve never seen this: A link that works for the poster but not others. I wonder what happened.

        Oh well…maybe it’s my eyesight.

      • Sir Digby

        Gah! He got me….again ::gasp::

    • straffinrun

      That Chappelle clip on the sidebar. Wow. On abortion and child support: “If you can kill the motherfucker, I can abandon him.”

      • Sir Digby

        The man has comedy chops.

      • straffinrun

        He’ll go where the joke needs to go and fuck the consequences. No problem granting him protected class privileges if he’s gonna do that.

      • Chafed

        He takes no prisoners.

  27. straffinrun

    Client gives me tickets to the Yomiuri game tonight. Real good game.

    https://imgur.com/a/OQErofR