The Awesome Adventures of Secret Nazi President!!!11!!1!!! Vol 35: Muh Russia; Keep Warm
About The Author
Penguin
BakedPenguin is a graduate of some school or another, smells like a homeless person, and has the friendly demeanor of a rabid wolverine.
On Topic: You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this.
https://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2019/09/12/watch-indian-man-beaten-by-two-wives-after-seeking-third/
Lila’s great, but still not as good as the topless dirndl girl.
Exactly what walking through the IT deaprtment sounds like.
Some of us in IT speak English.
I don’t.
Obligations they can instantly dispel by saying a word three times.
If I was less lazy I would line up quotes from slavery apologists from the 1830s against quotes from apologists for Islam’s treatment of women and play a version of Stormfront or SJW.
Another brilliant effort, BP.
I’m still laughing at the “poems and packs of socks”!
Send St. Greta our in a rowboat to save them.
Great stuff, BP.
I’m convinced that Russia is an alien planet that somehow got grafted onto earth.
That’s actually quite beautiful.
That is not terribly uncommon, six sided granite crystals like that. It happens when an upwelling of magma takes a very long time to cool. I have seen at least a dozen places like that all over the globe.
Don’t jump to conclusions, those could just be corroded reactor rods that someone dumped there over the course of 50 years. This is Russia after all
When the ice chinks bang into the hull does it create an Algor rythm?
It does, and it’s a pretty chill sound.
Reminiscent of early icicle Works?
Damn fine tune.
Icicle Works sophomore album is my go-to.
especially this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHGKFbJbhIg
RACIST!!11!!
Don’t you mean “Lacist!”?
Ice Chinks
Stupid Mongorians! Stop breaking down my shitty wall!
I am open to Svetlana meddling in my election, IYKWIM.
Remember, erections have consequences.
That is why you need a Plan B
Going to hell for that one I am.
I particularly enjoyed this episode.
the penguin on the ice, in the arctic. Noticed.
Yet another sign of the climate crisis.
Climate Horror
Little dude is so baked he’s on the wrong pole.
In Gary Larson’s Prehistory of the Far Side, he has a section with reader complaints about specific cartoons. Someone nailed him for a panel depicting penguins and polar bears on the same ice floe.
I don’t care if it was scientifically inaccurate, it was funny.
Did Snopes issue a ruling on that cartoon?
Someone got to tell them what chips are.
Forreal.
When in limey-land, just ask for crisps. Or loudly proclaim that you’re an American, and ask what the hell these fries are doing pretending to be chips.
You do that and you’re just begging to be attacked my a roving rape gang.
*by
Well, you are on vacation..?
Remember, ladies, to tell the hotel desk clerk that you want to be knocked up in the morning.
I need the source for the Svetlana picture for important reasons.
The arctic penguin chick is adorable. It is non-binary?
Full on analog
Hey, is that penguin gender-neutral?
Marianne Williamson Caught on Hot Mic: ‘Fox News Is Nicer to Me Than the Lefties’
What does it say that the conservatives are nicer to me?
Perhaps you should reconsider you’re associations. I think libertarians (and probably conservatives) would be ok having a quirky, hot grandma in our ranks. We just have to teach her economics and constitutionalism.
One could say that the right is nicer because, like the left wing media in 2014 & 15, thinks it will be super fun to have a wacky presidential candidate for the other team.
Because for conservatives she’s an oddity, not a rival. They don’t agree with her on anything at all. When she talks about crystals and energy it’s no crazier to them than universal Medicare or gun confiscation. For the left, she’s contaminating their serious ideas with her whackadoo nonsense. She’s like the fat guy in a g-string at the Libertarian convention for them.
I think there’s something to that. But not everything. Just looking at the stuff you find on Twitter or Facebook, you’ll see progressives are the most inclined, at least right now, to actively dehumanize their political opponents.
You’ve got something there, for sure. It’s no coincidence that the Progressives brought “political correctness”, a term once confined to Communist countries, to the West. Making the personal political is an age-old tradition, but the Progressives make all politics personal. This is the same mode of thought that brought us re-education camps and struggle sessions. If you hold the wrong political views or even express the right ones inadequately, there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed. That’s how you get this punching “Nazis” crap.
Turned out that fat guy in a g-string was the best part of the big L.
I didn’t think the left is as mean as the right. They are.
Because those on the left mistake their politics for moral virtue. Those on the right (and I’ll include libertarians here), undoubtedly see their politics as influenced by their morals and ethics. Progressives see their politics itself as a claim of moral virtue.
As a result, they don’t feel a need to enact moral virtue on a personal level. They’ve taken care of it with their politics.
Have you not heard of the pro-life movement?
“Those on the right (and I’ll include libertarians here), undoubtedly see their politics as influenced by their morals and ethics. Progressives see their politics itself as a claim of moral virtue.”
Remember, the pro-life cause is motivated by religion. But, certainly not the pro-choice cause. Because it does not require a leap of faith to believe that a terminating a fetus at 26 weeks is not taking a life.
I’ve always found this logic to be illogical and rather farcical. Some people think religion is only involved when someone says “Jesus”.
Thanks for the clarification.
To piggyback on this, I’d say that the difference is that if you see moral virtue as stemming from political views, you see people who disagree with you as morally wrong until they stop disagreeing. IOW, you’re a bad person because you disagree with me about X. The other side of that is that good or bad people can agree or disagree about X, so you’re a bad person but we agree on this topic, or you’re a good person but we disagree about this topic.
Bingo, W.
more freedom in Texas
In January, 2018, Geanie Morrison, a state representative from Victoria, Texas, asked the state’s Attorney General, Ken Paxton, to issue an opinion on whether the proliferating poker clubs were legal. Opponents of the clubs—including SIGH, a lobbyist employed by Tilman Fertitta, and a group called Stop Predatory Gambling—submitted briefs to Paxton’s office. The only pro-club briefs came from a player, who argued that shutting down the clubs would drive people back to underground games, and a few owners. The request put Paxton, who the Von Kennels considered a family friend, in an awkward position: he either had to tell hold-’em-loving Texans that they couldn’t play poker or explain to religious voters that he approved of gambling.
The trail of graft is intriguing although these guys are small-timers by most measures. Church-ladies rule, politicians and enforcement equivocate, and the rebels ply their cronies.
I may have already asked this, but have you ever seen Greater Tuna?
http://www.fox5ny.com/news/man-arrested-at-jfk-with-gun-hidden-in-tar
Huh. That’s a new one.
Good stuff BP!
Just great. Now there are going to be federal restrictions on the amount of liquid tar you can bring on a plane. And here I am planning a trip to Denver next month.
Gangs of La Brea?
That joke was the pits.
No bones about it.
No es fossil jugar juegos de palabras.
so what is the threat with a gun concealed in tar? Take me to Havana or I’ll desperately try to pull the trigger and then maybe the hammer will drop, and then my hand will blow off because I just shot a gun with a barrel full of tar.
According to the article (I know) it was in a case in the tar. So you wouldn’t have a tar covered gun, you’d have tar covered hands trying to operate a previously clean gun.
Thanks, everyone.
I’m not sure about the gender of the penguin, but given his location, he’s obviously confused. (Or baked, as MikeS mentioned).
No idea who the Russian model is, but if you type “Russian woman” in a DuckDuckGo search, you’ll see a few pictures of her with the fur cap. Oh, and make sure you have Safe Search or whatever on, or you’re going to see lots of porn snapshots (not of her).
The British woman is Page 2 model Keeley Hazell. Probably better to not search for her at work, as most of her photoshoots are topless.
RIP Page 3 (?) models
Keeley Hazell was probably the last one to find mainstream success by constantly being naked or dressed in a whorish manner. So many girls missing out on great opportunities to gain fame and fortune for being attractive thanks to the scolds
Yeah, I think you’re right about Page 3. And yeah, someone, somewhere (who never read the Sun) was unhappy, so they decided to share their unhappiness.
They’ve got him now.
Wednesday on MSNBC’s “Hardballs,” former federal prosecutor Joyce Vance discussed an NBC News report that President Donald Trump’s jailed former lawyer Michael Cohen is cooperating with Manhattan prosecutors on an investigation into the Trump organization potentially falsifying records.
Matthews said, “This case could be a big case if you’re taking the president of the United States down into a criminal matter. The question I have, I guess, as a non-lawyer, is what’s the penalty for this kind of case?”
Vance said, “So that really depends on how it’s ultimately structured. If they were able to make some sort of a tax charge here, which we don’t know — we don’t know if they have tax records — we could be looking at a lengthy violation for a felony. It’s certainly not a misdemeanor.”
She added, “The felony crime is a serious one, it carries a lot of collateral consequences. But most significantly is the threat there is jail time involved, and any amount of jail time in the state system in New York would be very unpleasant for the president of the United States.”
Hardballs
Did something happen to Chris that I am unaware of?
bow-chicka-bow-bow
Cripes. What are they going to do when Trump wins re-election?
I’m rooting for spontaneous combustion.
That would release some of the pressure in this environment.
Heh, Smith can Sarwark clip is up:
https://youtu.be/IrwFt8CEWiU
Smith vs Sarwark
I tried watching, but I really can’t stand the yell back and forth format. Make Formal Debates Great Again!
Debate used to mean crafting arguments and marshaling support for them, addressing your opponent’s points was optional but useful. Now it means yelling insults and trying to talk your opponent into silence.
Also being able to raise questions to the other candidates.
Sound bites & shaming.
It’s hard not to get heated when the other guy has been calling you and all your friends racists for the past two years. All fault belongs with Sarwark from my perspective
That’s not the SoHo forum. Did Dave invite him on his podcast to just yell at him?
Are they supposed to debate at the forum? I was thinking that too but figured I was mistaken and this is (a clip of) it.
They debated yesterday. Gene announced that Smith won (which is to be expected) and that the clip would be up shortly.
This quasi-debate between Dave Smith and Nick Gillespie with Thaddeus Russell moderating was pretty enjoyable and not as mean spirited.
https://www.thaddeusrussell.com/podcast/88
Gillespie did not do himself any favors here. Mainly because he was so aggressive and struggled to explain what exactly he was saying most of the time. That’s the problem with debating a comedian- they always win over the crowd with humor.
That’s what I thought was kinda sad about that. Dave wasn’t really trying to be funny. Witty? Sure.
I do think he was going to do a podcast with him after the debate.
I believe I recall Dave saying this. The full podcast is now up.
STEVE SMITH CAN SARWARK. AND BY CAN, MEAN RAPE>
So you didn’t sign the petition announcing your opposition to rape? Figures. Typical Murray Rothbard, Pat Buchanan blah, blah, incoherent nonsense…literally white supremacy!
Yeah I get the impression there’s no love lost:
Mises Institute
@mises
.@ThomasEWoods: What I Learned from Murray Rothbard | #MisesWeekends w/ @JeffDeist
Nicholas Sarwark
@nsarwark
TFW all you learned from Murray Rothbard was his worst political strategy ever.
Tom Woods
@ThomasEWoods
As you know, the LP chairman has a very low IQ. Listen to my speech for yourself. What kind of pansy would be offended by it?
Nicholas Sarwark
@nsarwark
You couldn’t fit “SJW” and “cuck” in there too?
If you’re going to play to an audience that likes personal insults, go all out.
Dave Smith
@ComicDaveSmith
Tom’s audience downloads 1000 episodes on history and economics. You ran a guy who doesn’t know what Aleppo is. You’re in over your head.
Nicholas Sarwark
@nsarwark
He definitely has me beat in podcast episodes downloaded.
You got me there, kiddo.
Dave Smith
@ComicDaveSmith
Yes, Tom and I have millions and millions of downloads. Remember that when you struggle for votes and money, jerkoff.
I prefer this format. You get the insults without the yelling.
– Nicholas Sarwark, Chairman of the Libertarian Party
TFW Shaquille O’Neal criticizes anyone’s free throw.
Forget GJ and Aleppo – their VP candidate was drug warrior Bill “I vouch for Mrs. Clinton” Weld.
+3 generic beefcakes. I’ll have a little from #1 and a little from #2, please.
Yeah, it’d been a while since I included any eye candy for gayGlibs or wimmenGlibs.
FOX knows what the people want.
Fox News Media CEO Suzanne Scott announced Thursday that Lauren Petterson has been named the new president of FOX Business Network, effective immediately.
Petterson had been senior vice president of morning programming and talent development for Fox News Channel prior to her promotion and has overseen “Fox & Friends” for the past 11 years.
“Lauren has extraordinary skills in developing programming and working with talent and I am confident she will lead FOX Business to even further success,” Scott said in a statement.
“I’m thrilled to take on this new, challenging role at a pivotal time in business news and look forward to working with such a dedicated and talented staff both on and off the air,” Petterson said in a statement.
Luckily my staff is talented. ///would
Or, I mean, I am talented with my staff.
I tried pork intestine and all I tasted was poop…is that normal??
Chitterlings do taste like fried pig shit, to that I can attest.
I tried pork intestines and all I tasted was the tasty meat it was stuffed full of.
You had boudin prepared by civilized people that understand food very well. That person did not.
OT: DOJ Lawsuit Demands Names Of All People Who Use This App For Their Gun
TW: The Federalist, so for some reason we get a patronizing history lesson.
Wasn’t this already posted a couple of times?
The silliest thing about all this is that some people honestly think that the same companies who sign letters demanding that Congress take away your guns would somehow totally not recklessly provide your information to the government for a woke cause. The government already has this information. It was handed over as soon as the DOJ asked for it. The whole court case was a farce to mitigate bad PR. But, rest assured this information has already been handed over long ago.
I only read my own comments.
As do all Tulpae
I’m not so sure that’s necessarily the case. Just handing the info over would make people who care about privacy in other areas suspicious of the company regardless of how they feel about this specific issue and could be bad for business. At least for Apple…all bets are off when it comes to Google though.
Agreed. I think that’s why they forced the DOJ to bring the lawsuit. But, you’re not going to hear about them appealing this decision, like they did when the DOJ wanted access to that CA shooter’s phone.
The post fell out of CJ’s butt when he shot himself in the testicles.
Progressives see their politics itself as a claim of moral virtue.
My God.
Yes. Hopefully he can help you link.
Your mom can help me link my dick to her vagina.
I am hopeful that you and I can spur a resurgence of “your mom” jokes. It’s a forgotten art form.
I mean, I heard they were comin’ back.
***
now you say, “Heard what’s comin’ back?”
***
Heard what is comin’ back?
*ahem*
DEEEEEEEZ NUHTSSSSSSS!
on your Mom’s back?
Hey MikeS,
Your mom is so ugly her portraits hang themselves.
Hey Crusty,
Your mom is so fat, when she lays around the house, she lays around the house.
A sign of the end times.
It’s something that happens only once every couple of decades: a full moon on Friday the 13th.
The superstitions that come with Friday the 13th and a full moon will be combined this week, when both occurrences happen on the same day.
The Farmers’ Almanac says the last time this happened was October 13, 2000. The next won’t happen again until August 13, 2049. The occurrence of a full moon on a Friday the 13th happens on average every 20 years, according to the Almanac.
Technically speaking, the full moon in the Eastern Time Zone, including here in Virginia, won’t happen until 12:33am, on the 14th, but who’s counting?
The other time zones, Central, Mountain, and Pacific, will see the actual full moon on the 13th.
This is also the Harvest Moon, which is the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox.
So today is the twelfth of Never?
It’s something that happens only once every couple of decades: a full moon on Friday the 13th.
Once every 19 years, to be more precise.
Full moon on Monday?
Researchers Find Unexpected White Blood Cells in Patients With Mysterious Vaping Illness
My God ban it all. Ban it all right now.
I thought they had narrowed it down to vitamin E.
It’s mentioned in the article. But “not enough evidence”. We’ll see. I doubt any apologies to the legitimate companies they’re trying to put out of business will ever come.
When Trump was first elected, I thought he was more mentally deficient than the corporate press. When Russia Fever Dreams started, I thought that the corporate press was more mentally deficient than Trump. Now with this vaping nonsense, I’m conflicted on who is more mentally deficient.
https://twitter.com/SenSanders/status/1172208164743393281
Bernie Sanders
Workers of all backgrounds are standing up for their rights. That includes yoga teachers, who are facing down shameful anti-union propaganda from their Wall Street owners. This is exactly the kind of energy we need to rebuild the middle class.
I will say this, Sanders has gotten a lot better at identifying who the Democratic base is. It’s not the working class. It is yoga teachers and people who do yoga, though. Well done.
He’s just in the pocket of Big Yoga (to riff on one of the comments)
Imagine how hot a walkout by yoga instructors would be. Nice toned butts and yoga pants. Oh man…so hot
They could liven things up and do hand walkout.
We hate to seem ’em go, but like to watch ’em leave.
Do respect her butthey love to watch her strut?
yoga teachers, who are facing down
Ideally.
Thank God for Yoga Pants
I, for one, will gladly stand behind yoga teachers as they face down…well, anything, really.
Federal prosecutors recommend that Andrew McCabe, former FBI second-in-command, be indicted
Trump’s War on the Deep State continues.
his lawyers appealed the decision to indict? i didn’t know that was a thing.
Oh no now some lawyer is going to law-splain the law to us. Way to go, dude.
Greenpeace activists suspend themselves from Houston’s Fred Hartman Bridge to protest fossil fuel
Take that, fossil fuel!
Greenpeace activists suspend themselves from Houston’s Fred Hartman Bridge to protest fossil fuel
By the neck?
You’re not that lucky.
Pinatas?
I hope somebody came along and cut them down. Don’t want to strand them there.
Senator Rand Paul
Hey @Liz_Cheney I feel like you might just be mad still about when Candidate Trump shredded your Dad’s failed foreign policy and endless wars.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I support Rand Paul strictly because he trolls Liz Cheney and mocks her dad.
Idk if he did stuff like this before. Perhaps Trump brought out Rand’s inner troll.
I liked him before this, but I do appreciate his efforts here.
I dunno, if I were Rand I would avoid pheasant hunting with Cheney.
I dunno, if I were RandI would avoid pheasant hunting with any Cheney.may I suggest this correction?
Well, I’ve never gone pheasant hunting, so….
A Bunch Of Drunk Croatian Soccer Fans Started Singing Lullabies To A VERY Confused Baby In A Park
That poor child.
Europeans out there wildin’
The baby’s not the only one who’s confused. Is this a thing?
Just to fuck with future generations of pedants, would penguins survive and spread if you relocated a colony of them to, say, Greenland?
Is there fish to hunt? Yes
NO, because Trump. This is always the answer except if the question is framed as will x bad thing happen. In which case the answer is Yes, because Trump. It’s like you don’t even love science.
“An Infinite Capacity for Suspicion”: The BBC’s ‘Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’ Turns 40
An excellent show – I believe it still can be found on the YouTubes.
I’ve only ever seen the recent movie. How does that hold up to the original series?
HEY! I liked getting socks in Iraq. There are few things better than the feeling of a brand new pair of socks.
feeling of a brand new pair of socks.-
Because the old ones are stiff and crusty?
Yeah. What’s it to ya?
A buddy of mine told me that one of the best things about going back to Afghanistan as a contractor (as opposed to Navy Intelligence) was that he was getting so many packs of Fox River boot socks for free that he never had to wear a pair twice, and he came home with boxes of them.
I don’t remember anyone sending us socks. We got a crate of Spam once. Well, actually, Treet, the Spam knockoff. We had a toaster oven in the radar maintenance van, so we used to swipe English muffins and cream cheese from the DFAC and make hot Spam and cheese sandwiches. They were surprisingly tasty.
A lot of the care packages were random stuff. Boxes of tea. A Costco-sized package of paper towels. Parmalat shelf-stable milk. Some asshole sent us a box full of back issues of The Nation.
Some asshole sent us a box full of back issues of The Nation.
lol
The REDHORSE unit I was attached to sent a list to their “spouse’s club” with my name on it. We got something from a church in West Texas every other month. Books, socks, and Dinty Moore Beef Stew is what I remember.
How do you avoid ‘the swamp ass?’ Tom Brady does it by sticking a towel down his centers’ pants [requires subscription]
And you guys say soccer is gay.
Well, it is Tom Brady.
He’s going to be touching Giselle (sp?) with those hands. You think he wants them all skunked up by some center’s sweaty ass crack? hellz no.
Excellent! Another good installment!