“I learned a lot. And I learned that it makes a difference. This was the diving board area, and I was one of the guards, and they weren’t allowed to – it was a 3-meter board. And if you fell off sideways, you landed on the damn, er, darn cement over there.”
The hat paused the playback of video to laugh.
“Why are you making me watch this?” Donald asked.
“Just give it time, Donald,” the hair replied. “We promise that it will be totally worth it.”
“And Corn Pop was a bad dude,” Biden continues.
“Corn Pop?” Donald asked.
“And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did and back in those days – to show how things have changed – one of the things you had to use, if you used Pomade in your hair, you had to wear a baby cap.”
Donald tapped the space bar. “Pomade? Baby cap?” he asked.
“We can talk about this after the video, Donald,” the hat said. “Stop interrupting.”
“No, I want to know now.”
“Pomade is hair grease, like Danny and the T-Birds in, well, Grease.”
“Olivia Newton-John has a nice ass in that,” Donald said. “But she doesn’t show her tits.”
“Yes, Donald,” the hair said. “But I don’t know what a baby cap is…”
“Some sort of condom, but, like, just for the tip?” the hat mused.
“But I certainly wouldn’t let anyone put on on me,” the hair finished.
“Look at me,” the President of the United States sang out, “I’m Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity…”
“Donald? Can we get back to the video?” the hat asked.
Donald looked at the hair, sitting on the Oval Office desk, and asked calmly, “Would you pull that crap with Annette?”
“And so he was up on the board and wouldn’t listen to me. I said, ‘Hey, Esther, you! Off the board, or I’ll come up and drag you off.’ Well, he came off, and he said, ‘I’ll meet you outside.’”
“Who the fuck is Esther?” Donald asked, pausing the video again.
“Esther Williams, Donald,” the hair said.
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Donald said. “I thought the guy was named Corn Pop.”
“Gah!” the hat said. “Grr! Oh! Oh! Oh! I can’t do this anymore!”
“Can you at least try to hold it together, you drama llama?” the hair asked the hat.
“Dammit, who is Esther Williams?” Donald asked.
“She was a swimmer and an actress,” the hair said. “She was in a couple of Busby Berkeley movies.”
“Who?” Donald asked.
“Oh, goddammit,” the hat grumbled.
“My car this – was mostly, these were all public housing behind us. My car – there was a gate on here. I parked my car outside the gate. And I – and he said, ‘I’ll be waiting for you.’ He was waiting for me with three guys with straight razors. Not a joke.”
“Not a joke,” the hat said in a mocking tone.
“There was a guy named Bill Wright Mouse, the only white guy and he did all the pools. He was a mechanic. And I said, “What am I gonna do?” And he said. ‘Come down here in the basement, where mechanics – all the mechanics- – where all the pool builder is.’ You know the chain, there used to be a chain that went across the deep end. And he cut off a six-foot length of chain and folded it up and he said, “You walk out with that chain, and you walk to the car and say, “you may cut me man, but I’m gonna wrap this chain around your head.’”
“Waaarrriors… come out and play-ay!” the hat said, pausing the video.
“Clank, clank, clank,” the hair replied and laughed.
“Have you both gone completely nuts?” Donald asked.
“I said, ‘You’re kidding me.’ He said, ‘No, if you don’t, don’t come back.’ And he was right. So I walked out with the chain. And I walked up to my car. And in those days, you remember the straight razors, you had to bang “em on the curb, gettin’ em rusty, puttin’ em in the rain barrel, gettin’ em rusty?”
“I don’t have the faintest clue what in the fuck Joe is talking about,” the hat said. “Straight razors? Curbs? Rain barrels?”
“Now you are the one pausing it and interrupting,” Donald said peevishly.
“And I looked at him, but I was smart, then. I said, ‘First of all,’ I said, ‘When I tell you to get off the board, you get off the board, and I’ll kick you out again, but I shouldn’t have called you Esther Williams, and I apologize for that. I apologize.’ But I didn’t know that apology was gonna work. He said, ‘You apologize to me?’ I said, ‘I apologize but not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said.’ He said, ‘OK,’ closed that straight razor and my heart began to beat again.”
“Just bizarre, utterly bizarre,” the hair said. “Like, what was the point of that whole thing?”
“Joe is tough, I guess,” the hat replied, “And smart because he took a pool chain to a rain barrel razor fight.”
“Aren’t pool chains made of plastic so light it floats?” the hair asked.
“Maybe not in, like, what? 1960?” the hat mused.
“Who is this? Why did I have to watch this?” Donald asked. “I’m trying to work on plans to bomb Iran.”
“Oh, man, can you imagine how pissed John Bolton’s mustache would be if we bombed Iran after firing him?” the hair asked.
“We should bomb them just to see if he’d have some sort of lip stroke,” the hat replied.
“Have you both gone completely nuts?” Donald asked.
I found this strangely moving.
“Can you at least try to hold it together, you drama llama?” the hair asked the hat……Has SF given us a new name for the MSM
Inquiring minds want to know…
The Biden bits are straight transcript, aren’t they?
We need to stop SugarFree’s game of chicken with reality, they keep upping each other and we will all lose.
Did he really say all that? I’ve been avoiding the debates. I can’t believe he really told it like that.
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2019/09/15/joe_biden_recalls_terrifying_1960s_public_pool_confrontation_with_razor-weilding_gangster_named_corn_pop.html
Watch and weep.
Yeah, I was not aware of all the stuff that came after “Corn Pop”.
Holy shit!
I’M WITH CORN POP!
I hadn’t watched it before, but holy hell…
Great tentacly gods. We are not worthy of such a man as our leader. The rest of the world will be too busy ROFLing to fuck with us.
Kind of like Justin Trudeau up in Canada.
The kids behind him totally ignoring his crazy grandpa story made me laugh.
Holy fuck, what? LOL, I thought all of that was made up. I couldn’t make any sense of any of it. Corn pop was a bad dude and he ran some bad boys? Jeebus Crikey on a fucking stick, what is that, lol, I can’t stop laughing, the wife is asking me what’s wrong with me.
It is made up. By Joe.
This has to be one of those Deep Fake things. No way this person can be the front runner in the primaries.
It’s a case of “The others are even worse”.
I’m getting an unenthusiastic vibe from the dems around me with regard to the crop of candidates. I suspect a low turnout will be coming.
Oh no, Nancy Pelosi has assured us that the Dems will win the presidency handily, and hold the House, and flip the Senate! It’s at least 98% assured!
“I suspect a low turnout will be coming.”
You must be kidding, we can’t even possibly survive another round of bad orange man. What, like half of the earth’s population has been imprisoned or killed by him and even the earth itself is almost destroyed? 100% turnout, guaranteed.
100% turnout, guaranteed.
Including those killed by him, I’m sure.
Yeah, I mean, come on, it’s too damn funny, it has to be fake. It reminds me of the video where they are lip syncing Sarah Sanders.
What? Have you seen the others?
“We need to stop SugarFree’s game of chicken with reality, they keep upping each other and we will all lose.”
Will? WILL?! WILL?!?!?!?!
…
Already have, man.
*1000 yard stare*
he is going to summon something from beyond. I predict
ELDER SMITH
I was thinking the same as the hair, the deep end divider is rope and floaties.
No, no, no. You put the chain around the swimmer’s ankle. That way they know when they’ve gone too deep.
Same
This is the sucky part of being a writer is knowing that anything you write you’ll get some little detail wrong and it will matter to somebody. Because the details do matter. Sure, it’s fiction but getting things wrong make the narrative seem less real to the reader each time he has to willingly suspend disbelief. Everyone is a subject-matter expert in something; there is only one of you and many of them.
Except Joe really said that shit.
Biden is a bullshitter, always has been, always will be.
SF didn’t make up the chain bit. That’s straight from Slow Joe.
Ditto being a politician. You try to tell a lie and all these subject matter experts call you out on it.
We ought to kill all those smarmy intellectuals, just to keep our politicians safe. / Pol-Pot
Freaks me the fuck out that only ended 40 years ago.
Here you go, lefties.
Why you can’t have the guns.
Way back when, when my son was in scouts, one of the other fathers was about 10 year older than me.
He grew up in Portland and was a true hippie/protester during the sixties. He was all about fighting the man.
He hung out with the black panthers during the 60s too, just to show support (even though he was white). He said the panthers were convinced the pigs were going to come after them. So there was a loaded shotgun by every door.
It was “liberals” that taught me guns were needed to protect the people from government.
“He was all about fighting the man.”
Like it’s been said before, they went from fighting the man to being the man’s biggest advocates. It’s like the leftists totally infiltrated and took over the liberals and no one even noticed. You can even explain this to them and they still don’t get it.
FTFY
You know the chain, there used to be a chain that went across the deep end.
And, that’s how you know this story isn’t true. I would bet that no one has used a chain to divide up a pool since pools were invented.
I read a reliable article in Vox that the ancient Athenians used Greek Fire to mark the deep end of their pools.
When Joe was in the Army they used a chain across the Hudson to stop the British from getting up and down the river.
““And smart because he took a pool chain to a rain barrel razor fight.”
I larfed pretty hard at that line.
Me too! Have Glibs achieved autonomous hive mind?
I thought our Libertarian Sensors would have precluded such Collectivization…
““There was a guy named Bill Wright Mouse, the only white guy ”
My guess is that Biden is legitimately prejudiced towards black people, and makes up for it by attacking Trump as a racist.
I’ll bet the black guys weren’t even clean and articulate.
Agreed. I thought that was bit odd, too.
And I don’t want to go all whataboutism, but there’s not a chance in hell a non-Democrat says that without the outrage mob being, well, outraged.
It’s not his first gaffe either.
This is a fun article about it. Read the comments, too.
I suppose some of them do. I’m guessing the vast, vast majority do not.
I’m handwaving the usual allwypipo accusations as shorthand.
The moral of the story? Don’t call black guys Ester Williams.
Unless you want to run for president.
Is the premise that the story is true? Cause it most assuredly is not true.
It’d Biden’s truth you mother fucker! Who are you to question such a noble erm… old guy?
/progtard
Re: the straightrazor thing. Knives were weapons; razors got a pass.
Yeah, the thing about a straight razor is that you don’t use it as a stabbing weapon. It’s only going to be effective on really soft targets, which, coincidentally, is where people least want a straight razor to be.
Man, the Root. Standing as Internet evidence that some black people can be so racist that they actually came up with a term–“reverse racism”–to excuse how racist they can be.
This exists:
https://www.redbubble.com/people/sugarmootz/works/41177435-corn-pop-2020-joe-biden-joke-campaign?p=mens-premium-t-shirt&rel=carousel
LOL
I am ordering a few of those…
“We should bomb them just to see if he’d have some sort of lip stroke,” the hat replied.
Heh.
Yep. That’s the one.
Nice, SF!
I thought some sort of lip stroke was a sexual act?
Still possible.
What kind of stories would we get in a Biden presidency?
The Hand and the Nose
The Hat and the Plugs?
Rambling accounts of sniffing hair and groping people.
Look for a lot of gif’s of world leaders looking very awkward at state dinners.
Joe! You can’t do that to the Queen!! She’s a nuclear power.
Sniffing her hair?
Down under?
Coked up cocksman Beau and the ghosts of his dead children?
Repeatedly calling other heads of state by the names of predecessors from at least a decade ago. Bonus points if they’re dead, like when he called Teresa May Margaret Thatcher.
T-Swift waxes moronic.
“I keep trying to learn as much as I can about politics, and it’s become something I’m now obsessed with, whereas before, I was living in this sort of political ambivalence because the person I voted for had always won,” she explained.
“I think a lot of people are like me, where they just didn’t really know that this could happen. But I’m just focused on the 2020 election,” the Grammy-winner said. “I’m really focused on it. I’m really focused on how I can help and not hinder. Because I also don’t want it to backfire again, because I do feel that the celebrity involvement with Hillary’s campaign was used against her in a lot of ways.”
One of Swift’s proposals for helping defeat Trump in 2020 is that Democrats work as a team and rally behind their eventual candidate, something many on the left of the party refused to do after Hillary Clinton won the presidential nomination against Bernie Sanders in dubious circumstances.
“I do think, as a party, we need to be more of a team,” the “Shake It Off” crooner argued. “With Republicans, if you’re wearing that red hat, you’re one of them. And if we’re going to do anything to change what’s happening, we need to stick together.
“We need to stop dissecting why someone’s on our side or if they’re on our side in the right way or if they phrased it correctly. We need to not have the right kind of Democrat and the wrong kind of Democrat,” Swift added. “We need to just be like, “You’re a Democrat? Sick. Get in the car. We’re going to the mall.”
“I keep trying to learn as much as I can about politics, and it’s become something I’m now obsessed with…”
Congratulations Taylor, you’re now one of the people jamming on the gas pedal as we head toward the cliff.
Taylor, darling, spoiler for you — “Sick. Get in the car.” is how the train ride starts.
Whoa.
“Your’e a Republican? Sick. Get in the car. We’re going to the camp.”
She’s not wrong.
But dissecting and phrase- and tone-policing is happening to everybody.
You just have to be able to withstand the backlash.
Don’t take that tone with me!
Your safe space is over there. →
That door says “Exit”.
This way to the egress →
NO ENEMIES ON THE LEFT!!! But those irredeemables in their red hats, fuck them.
I don’t know how anyone could possibly get the idea from all of these ramblings that this is some cynical ploy to sell more records.
More like ensuring that her albums are purchased by the right people. No more trailer trash like her old stuff.
You know how sometimes the clouds part and a sunbeam cones down? That link is like that.
I learned something new
What is a Sigma male?
He’s your introverted Alpha male. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention and that’s why you will never see a Sigma male approaching a girl first or doing something goofy that will make everyone look at him. He is very independent so he doesn’t really care about the opinions of others, and he tends to be the black sheep of men. But, to be honest, he doesn’t really care. He goes around being his sexy self, not even looking around to see if anyone is paying attention to him.
I had never even heard the term “sigma male” until yesterday. Now I want to join match.com, just to have it in my profile.
*that website was the first random click from the search results.
I’ve heard that term before. This, though:
If he’s that secure in himself, he’ll approach a girl if he wants to.
^^^THIS^^^
Agreed. The description of a Sigma Male doesn’t jibe with reality. Shocking.
Sounds like what some pajama boy would tell his buddies before waxing poetic about his hawt and always horney Canadian girlfriend that nobody ever gets to meet or see.
Well, I mean she’s afraid to come to America because guns and the ruthless dictator in chief, he puts Canadians in cages just for fun.
I found Texas chicks didn’t get that at all. They think the yapping counts. Ignoring others’ stupid shit and failing to constantly jawbone yourself was interpreted as shyness or ineptitude on more than a couple of occasions.
But at that time eHarmony couldn’t accept a video upload of me throwing a hatchet or porting a cylinder head, so just being reasonable and getting to know someone had to do.
I think it’s a fancy term for the “strong silent type.”
I reject that classification for its use of greek letters.
Would it be better for you if I told you it was also a number?
No, because then I’d be reminded of math class.
“Why are you so quiet?” God that pisses me off. People who don’t know me that well think I’m shy, especially if, frankly, they’re stupid. When I first encounter a group of people I lay back until I understand the social dynamics at play. Only then do I start talking to someone. I don’t want to offend anybody or put my foot in my mouth. And then generally I’m perfectly OK with not talking unless I have something to say. I’m not averse to small-talk or conversation, but if I have no interest in the topic and nothing to add, and there are other people in the conversation, I’m content to listen. Besides, as my grandmother used to say, “an empty barrel makes the most noise”.
“I’m quiet because you’re still talking. It’s rude to interrupt.”
“Why should I start talking when you’re doing such a good job of it?”
I’m a Theta male myself.
Omega Male or GTFO
Sorry, I meant to say Thetan male.
Zenu’s comin’!
Chuck Heston is dead, Dude.
There’s a Brave New World joke in there somewhere.
Speaking of Brave New World, looks like a series is coming based on it. It’ll be coming to the worst named streaming service ever… NBC’s Peacock.
SyFy to USA to Peacock. Hmmm…if it keeps getting passed around, I am questioning how good it is.
I’m more curious if they realize it’s supposed to be a dystopia.
Eventually it will land on one of the networks willing to just put out thinly disguised porn.
Jimmy Fallon made a great joke about it last night “Just Google the words -Pea, Cock and Stream and I’m sure it’ll be the first thing that comes up.”
Remember, some marketing rep got paid a lot of money to come up with that name.
Omega Man is better
Damnit….
+1 Damn Dirty Mutant
Is this some Six Sigma thing?
Now I see why putting Sex Sigma on my resume got me so many interviews
You too? Always with ugly female HR chicks? Or were there some dudes in the mix as well?
HR is always female, and trends to below average, so you’re being redundant.
*ponders HR staff, nods in agreement*
My Last Job’s HR boss was a fairly attractive single mom.
Of course she did get fired pretty fast…
It isn’t so bad now that I have my black belt. Some sweet soul sisters in HR!
Now, my time as a red belt….. That was a bad, bad time.
I thought Sigma was some sort of sea monster that molests kids.
I can’t believe SF hasn’t folded Sigmund and his family into his stories. They sound like his kind of family.
I believe SEA SMITH has a band with them…
The Sea Smith Trio!
I believe Sweet Momma Ooze is the only gal that Joe Biden didn’t make any moves on that summer he worked at the pool.
Johnny and Scott were just friends.
YOU THINK COUSIN OF STEVE SMITH SEA SMITH
Bandmates.
I’m more of a Brut Man
>>He is very independent so he doesn’t really care about the opinions of others, and he tends to be the black sheep of men.
That used to work for me – when I was a teenager. Quiet, pretend not to care, and ignore the popular trends. That, and dating girls with daddy issues which was easy when I was a punk rocker.
So I was at this party with a new bunch of people and some old friends. One of my friends was just constantly getting hit on by girls. He’s a good-looking guy, but frankly we were an attractive bunch and it didn’t explain his draw. I bring this up to this girl who we’re friends with, and she looks over at him and says, “Well, he has this look on his face when he’s just sitting by himself…he looks lonely, kind of forlorn, and chicks eat that up.” I reply, “I mean, he’s just sitting there with a blank expression. He’s wondering how much beer is left. I’ve got the same expression on my face half the time and I don’t have chicks draped all over me.” She says, “That’s because you don’t look lonely, you look angry. You look like you’re about to kill somebody.”
I’ve seen that. The girls thought that his still waters ran so so very deep, but his lack of affect was just an unfillable void.
I think I also suffer from Resting Murder Face.
I could maybe be happy as a Delta man
Yes, that would be superior.
In poop knife news
Can’t be bothered to read an article about poop experiments, but I bet you tax payers ponied up a shit ton of money for this “study”
That’s nawt a poop newfe, this is a poop newfe!
Let me tell you about the time a young Joe Biden (who was working on the ski patrol to learn more about the Inuit) took on a local bad dude named Snow Flake. He told Snow Flake to get down off that igloo and said “Hey Santa get down before I knock you down”. Then Snow Flake said he’d be outside with a frozen shit razor.
DOH!
I believe my workplace has been infested. We had been doing so well, but then yesterday EHS sent us a notice encouraging us to eat vegan to reduce our carbon footprint, then our annual code of conduct training had a new addition specifying that employees were forbidden to engage in human trafficking, and now the lunch special is avocado toast.
Welp, it was a good job while the company lasted.
Well, the Emirate is known for its heavy use of indentured servitude by other names. So it’s not so far-fetched a prohibition.
But yeah, the avocado problem is a bad sign, along with them not immediately firing the EHS people who created and approved that notice.
At least some of the places around here are trying to hide their influence:
This is a brewery, in a hipster neighborhood. They still have biscuits and gravy (bacon unfortunately) and waffle crusted chicken wings on the menu though.
$7?! For a slice of bread, pureed chickpeas, one egg, some cheese and veg?
It’s artisanal! The extra $$ is because of the handcrafted love. /derp
This is why I make my own food.
^^ SO MUCH THIS ^^
Where they’re located, that’s a cheap breakfast. Beer and food for two on Saturday came to $25 including tip.
They do have a breakfast sandwich at the same price with sausage, two eggs, cheese, on a brioche bun as well.
I need to get ring molds and make my own breakfast sandwiches.
I tried baking scrambled eggs in a muffin tin. Meh.
*looks for silicone ring molds*
They’re cheap, but of variable quality (~$2 per at the bottom end of the spectrum)
I’ve tried those a couple times. First pair made my eggs taste like plastic and chemicals. Second pair made my eggs taste like whatever perfume that is which Bed Bath and Beyond sprays around their stores. Numerous washings did not solve the problem either time.
According to Julia Child you can take an empty can of tuna, open the bottom, and use that. Also works for making English muffins from scratch.
One of the many things I learned from a childhood spent watching cooking shows on PBS.
Dammit. I don’t have a pan with a flat bottom I can use metal utensils on.
My husband won one of these.
Very nifty.
Only problem is they don’t have lids that fit.
I’ve seen those teeny tiny pans.
I am not sure I can safely use them on my stove. It’s got gas burners, and the gap at the middle for the grate or whatever it’s called isn’t that small. The chances of part or all of a tiny pan dropping into the burner are too high.
You could always go the truly lazy route, cut a hole into a piece of bread, toast one side of it in a pan (with butter of course), then flip it and crack an egg into the hole. Cook egg, eat food.
Numerous washings did not solve the problem either time.
That’s really interesting. I’ve never had trouble with off flavors from mine. I regularly use them for making eggs and from-scratch sausage (thanks for the recipe Spud!). The flavor of the sausage doesn’t even carry over to the eggs.
According to Julia Child you can take an empty can of tuna, open the bottom, and use that.
Did they change the construction of tuna cans since then? I don’t think I can accomplish a clean cut with a can opener on the rounded style of can-bottom.
$5
Would that work for ya?
Numerous washings did not solve the problem either time.
Dude. Antibiotics.
*scrolls up, sees kitchen equipment*
Never mind.
(not that a good can-opener cut is very clean)
They did.
The higher-end silicone molds work fine. And tuna cans are often coated on the interior and/or might scratch your non-stick.
https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-Egg-Rings-Round-Breakfast/dp/B01KPNZ786/
But if you really want to go deep into the egg-making rabbithole, do what I do and have a high-end non-stick that you use for absolutely nothing except eggs. Never use anything but silicone utensils and never put it in the dishwasher and it will last for years. (I think I’ve got 11 years out of mine so far.)
a high-end non-stick that you use for absolutely nothing except eggs
Mrs. Dean cranks out flawless fried eggs with a stainless steel frying pan. Not sure her exact process, but it involves a splash of water and finishing with the lid to steam the top of the egg. They slide right out.
Of course, my reply to SF had a sugarless link. Try this.
non-stick that you use for absolutely nothing except eggs
That’s all non-stick pans are for.
That sounds unfortunate.
Did they really need to forbid human trafficking? Seems like that’s more a LE thing rather than HR.
Did you read the terms of the contract before you signed it?
Yes, and I can’t believe they’re taking away one of the key perks of the job!
You know that there is a funny story behind that one. Somebody in the C-Suite got busted selling an intern on a business trip but managed to wiggle out of it because there wasn’t any explicit rule about that in the employee handbook.
Well I, for one, refuse to work at a place that doesn’t allow a little human trafficking once in a while. A job, after all, is a shortened form of slavery. /free to gambol
our annual code of conduct training had a new addition specifying that employees were forbidden to engage in human trafficking
I’m torn between two responses:
“So, erm, what exactly do you mean by “human trafficking”, anyway? Asking for a friend.”
Or
“I guess this means we won’t be hiring any more immigrants.”
Do Orphans count as Human Trafficking?
“What about redheads? They don’t count, on account of not having a soul, right?”
Count us as 3/5 human. There’s constitutional precedent.
Well that sucks. It’s like everything I know and love is verboten these days.
encouraging us to eat vegan
That sounds like they are trying to create a Hostile Environment.
I’d eat Natalie Portman, she’s a vegan right?
Daisey Ridley > Natalie Portman > Kiera Knightley imo
I’m a big eater I’ll take all three
“EHS sent us a notice encouraging us to eat vegan to reduce our carbon footprint”
The only thing I can guess is that your EHS secretly work for the meat and dairy industry, since this sort of ‘nudging’ shit always backfires.
One more reason why this is the best timeline.
The Trump administration plans Wednesday to revoke California’s federal waiver for setting its own tailpipe-emissions rules, according to people briefed on the plans, further escalating a fight that has challenged the auto industry.
California’s federal waiver
What the King giveth, the King can taketh away.
Nobody wants to take your guns away
President Donald Trump on Wednesday admonished “Dummy Beto” O’Rourke for impassioned remarks on gun reform he made at last week’s primary debate, charging that they complicated the path toward a bipartisan agreement.
“Dummy Beto made it much harder to make a deal,” Trump tweeted. “Convinced many that Dems just want to take your guns away. Will continue forward!”
——-
“I frankly think that that clip will be played for years at Second Amendment rallies with organizations that try to scare people by saying Democrats are coming for your guns,” Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del.) told CNN on Friday.
——-
O’Rourke responded to Trump’s tweet later Wednesday morning, outlining his gun platform and encouraging the White House to take action.
“To be clear: We will buy back every single assault weapon. We‘ll also license every gun & do a background check on every buyer. That’s what the American people want—and deserve,” he wrote online. “The only thing stopping us from ending this epidemic is you & your cowardice. Do the right thing.”
Pssst. Guess what, Shirley, they really do want to take our guns away, and no “incremental” concession will be enough.
You are.
“Nobody wants to take your guns away”
Well, they’re no longer even pretending. And if you think they are being bold now, wait until they get the presidency and congress at the same time again. The first thing they will do is make an all out effort to get rid of the 2nd amendment. When they’ve accomplished that it will be on to massive tax hikes and a full assault on the 2nd amendment.
See: Prohibition.
Yeah, that shit ain’t gonna fly.
This is why i pay the premium for private purchases. They’re gonna come knocking on the door, and taint nothing you can do if you have 15 NICS hits to your name.
Dilettantes.
*looks up boats for sale on craigslist*
They only do one NICS lookup per visit, even if you’re buying the whole wall…
A form 3310 may be generated doing that.
Just had one done.
Depends. Are you any good with a pool chain?
Dummy Beto
When the man’s right, he’s right.
Ok, it’s my turn.
Ahem.
Mr. O’Rourke, I didn’t buy anything from the government, so the government can’t buy it back. Besides which, I don’t think I’ll let you take my guns today, Bobby.
Justice Roberts calls it a Penaltax.
Yes, playing clips of Dems saying “we’re gonna take your guns” is trying to “scare people by saying Democrats are coming for your guns”.
“Dummy Beto made it much harder to make a deal,”
Nice. Beto gave the Repubs who care to block more gun control cover.
So, Trump basically gave him a chance to walk back his lunacy and give the Democratic gun-grabbers a pass and Robert Francis just steps on his own dick. Christ, what a loser.
Trump is a Gun Control True Believer
We will buy back
Tell me , Beta, how does the government buy back that which it never owned in the first place?
And if you feel the price isn’t fair?
Seen at the hospital today, outside the entrance to our children’s hospital:
6 year old, in pajamas and a cowboy hat (and a big smile), painting a miniature horse. And I don’t mean making a painting of a miniature horse, I mean apply paint to a miniature horse. Sadly, no photos allowed. For a second, I thought I felt a certain . . . warmth(?) in my chestular region, but it passed.
“For a second, I thought I felt a certain . . . warmth(?) in my chestular region”
Never meet your heroes because they are sure to disappoint you.
I was looking for a gif of the grinch’s heart growing, but all I got was the Nick Gillespie of grinch gifs
If it happens again, just remember, that child might one day be an orphan and you could be the lucky owner.
I once saw a fully grown woman wearing Stitch pajamas (the little blue alien in the cartoon Lilo and Stitch) in the waiting room at the doctor’s office.
I couldn’t pull that off, but let your freak flag fly, lady. I admired her confidence/mental illness.
Was she hot?
Kinda in a mousey, librarian-ish sort of way.
https://www.wish.com/product/58f39d49c22e8216e9ea491f?hide_login_modal=true&from_ad=goog_shopping&_display_country_code=US&_force_currency_code=USD&pid=googleadwords_int&c=%7BcampaignId%7D&ad_cid=58f39d49c22e8216e9ea491f&ad_cc=US&ad_curr=USD&ad_price=18.00&fallback_cids=5b90f72943463d3c34f36843&campaign_id=6487461784&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItrDwjIXb5AIVWyCtBh3qAwrfEAQYBSABEgLfrvD_BwE
Scroll down to the last picture. Not quite as hot as her, but close.
Link goes to reasonably priced Stitch pajamas – totally safe for work
totally safe for work
How do you know what I can wear to work?
I see grown adults (in body, probably not of mind) wearing pajamas and fuzzy animal slippers at Walmart almost every time we’re in there. In the middle of the fucking day, mind you.
well if you’re living on welfare, spending your time watching tv and fiddling with your phone, what’s the point of dressing up? They aren’t leeches, they’re just giant intestines.
And I don’t mean making a painting of a miniature horse, I mean apply paint to a miniature horse.
Further clarification is still required: do you mean applying paint to a miniature of a horse (most likely) or applying paint to a miniature horse (most awesome).
The latter. I have a meeting across campus every Wednesday that ends while the miniature horses are outside our children’s hospital. I go out of my way to check it out. Never fails to hit the adorbs button.
Plus, we have a new therapy dog. Full-growed mastiff, gotta be nearly 150 pounds. He’s a big fave with the kids.
Painting horses and riding dogs.
The latter.
I am surprised, and pleased.
Never fails to hit the adorbs button.
I can imagine so, it sounds great.
Climate Confessions
The best confession, as voted on by me, will win one free month of Glibertarians posting.
I sometimes fail to reign-in solar activity.
Just this year, I failed once again to prevent summer and also failed to change the earth’s orbit a little further out.
I print every iteration of my 700-page novel to make notes on.
This is a daily event.
Do you then fold the pages into paper airplanes, take them to the nearest forest, light them and play Battle of Britain?
By consuming all that paper you are creating a demand for more trees to be planted, which cleans more CO2 out of the atmosphere. If anything, you are an environmental hero.
Carbon sequestration FTW!
Looks like they’re doing their homework in getting some of that social credit score data early on.
Where do i fall short in preventing climate change?
I don’t do anything to prevent climate change. So…all of the above?
One of their categories is “Meat”. They are really getting aggressive with trying to browbeat people into being vegans, aren’t they.
I’ll resume hunting if I have too.
If you hunt greenies you can have your hunt and your butcher.
Don’t all religions have dietary restrictions?
Don’t all religions have dietary restrictions?
No. Christianity has no dietary restrictions (unless you count “don’t become a drunkard” as a dietary restriction). It saves most of its restrictions for sexytimes.
(OK, in fairness some denominations do have dietary restrictions, especially temporary ones, but that’s not required by their holy books).
My fridge broke over a year ago. I haven’t bothered to get a new one, I just keep the air conditioning at 40.
Also, everyone knows that if you’re running the AC in your car you have to also have the windows down to let more fresh air in. I assume that’s true for houses, too, which is why I do in fact air condition the entire neighborhood. I do my bit.
Hey, if you’re air conditioning the neighborhood, you’re combating global warming. If we’d just have enough climate patriots like you, the whole problem would be solved.
That sounds like my childhood of getting rid of winter: If everyone started a giant bonfire and kept burning wood all winter long, then the snow would melt. Yay!
*childhood plan
I eat osprey chicks. I grill them over burning tires.
It works better if you just burn down the whole forest. That way you can just walk around picking up your next meal, already cooked.
smoldering forest-floor imparts the wrong aroma.
It works better if you just burn down the whole forest
Only if it’s rain forest.
Ortolan or GTFO
Nope, not a religion at all.
Denier! Nope, not a religion at all.
BurnCompost the heretic!Ok…. I feel like this is a safe place to talk about it. So…. When i was 15…. Al Gore told me…. told me… he said all this climate change wouldn’t stop if i didn’t suck his dick. :SOBS: And i didn’t, and now the world is gonna end because of it….
I see that you’ve chosen whistleblowing over blowing a whistle. Very intersectional.
Communist group torches US flag in protest of Trump’s Los Angeles visit
I assume the pathetic Reds will be the worst people in the story, right?
My God.
I know, right??? I fucking HATE when people spell my name with three Gs. This guy is the worst.
Well, you’ve got exactly as much evidence for that as the Democrat Party and their media allies have for the Kavanaugh allegations.
I liquefy all of my food and drink it through plastic straws, replacing the straw every 30 seconds.
Speaking of plastic straws, I just recently had my first run-in with a paper straw. I was not a fan. Let’s just say that if there was talk of banning plastic straws where I live, I would seriously consider becoming a single issue voter.
Its an excellent proxy for the sanity of the politician.
Do you blast the A/C? Throw out half your lunch? Grill a steak every week?
TRIFECTA! What do I win?
A pineapple plantation on your Minnesoda estate?
Well, at least it’s not avocados.
But, avocados are almost better than anything, except for cilantro, which is better than everything.
With one simple comment, Hyperion started the infamous Avocado & Cilantro War.
*puts soap on shopping list*
“Circumcised Deepdish with Pineapple/Avocado/Cilantro”
(circumcised deepdish is prepared in the traditional manner, then the vertically oriented portion of the crust is carefully excised from the pan.)
*reflects back to TOS*
Anyone else remember the hummus wars? That shit lasted for weeks if I remember correctly.
Yes.
No way.
Nope – more like 4 steaks a week.
This guy gets it.
They say the cows are causing climate change. So I am doing my part by eating the cows.
I don’t do either of the first two mostly because I’m cheap.
Where do you fall short in preventing climate change?
I should probably leave the FJ idling in the parking lot more. To prevent the next Ice Age.
Modify my car to get even worse gas mileage. Eat beef – a lot of beef. Sleep with the A/C set to 68F. Fly by air 2-3 times a year. Rarely recycle unless there is money in it (like the 10c can return in Michigan).
I do, however, have 20 acres of trees as a carbon offset. 🙂 Land I hope to harvest in a few years. 🙁
Oh and a 392 powered Dodge is on my want list.
Well, the 10 cent can return is basically a break-even (at best). They’re just returning your deposit.
I really resent having to haul the cans back and feed them into a poorly maintained barely functioning machine just to get back the money I left with them before. Not enough to give up my Coke habit, but it grinds at me.
Did I tell you I’m a hobo and ten cents means a lot to me? /not really
10 cents doesn’t go very far when you’ve got a coke habit.
I don’t advocate hard enough for supporters of the Greens parties to do their part to reduce overpopulation by offing themselves.
The word “confession” is only ever used in relation to “crimes” and “sins”. Which tells you all you need to know about the modern “environmental movement”.
I emit methane gas.
And I like it.
I didn’t sabotage my rotary (for once) and as a result it ran the entirety of our last 24 hour race, consuming over 200 gallons of dirty, smelly, evil gasoline. To make matters worse, I didn’t even punish myself by reciting any Our Gaias or Hail Gretas.
Imagine if Christian conservatives in the 90’s had just screamed “SCIENCE!” every time someone noted how stupid their qualms were. That’s environmentalism today
I always compare it to some situation where I am trying to make sugar illegal:
Me: There’s a consensus among dietitians that too much refined sugar is bad for you.
Them: Absolutely.
Me: In fact, if current trends continue, 75% of the US population will have diabetes in 5 years.
Them: Uh…
Me: And did you know that if we don’t make sugar completely illegal right now, the entire population will be dead of obesity and diabetes-related complications in just 12 years?
Them: I don’t think that’s true.
Me: But there’s a consensus!! Are you disagreeing with the established science?! Are you one of those anti-science morons or something?
What makes this story even better is that, not only are Biden’s ramblings all actual things that he really said, Biden has also rebounded from a recent slump in the polling averages and is once again gaining at the expense of his nearest rivals, even after this. Fun times.
Biden gives them what they want: meandering nonsense that goes nowhere.
Biden has also rebounded from a recent slump in the polling averages
Holy shit. I had not seen that.
I mostly want Harris to stay irrelevant. Her particular style of corruption, dishonesty, and sociopathic will to power puts me off the most. Even more than Warren.
You heard it here, RC likes the scolding schoolmarms.
Schoolmarms.
It’s not what Biden’s saying. It’s what the rest of them are saying, they’re starting to scare the hell out of even most democrats.
IOW, senile bullshit talking old man is a lot less scary than the other truly crazy people.
In a weird way, this is like a mirror-image of 2016. Trump, like Hillary, should be easily beatable in a general election. Sure, the economy is good, but Trump hasn’t delivered on most of what he promised, and his personal popularity, under relentless assault by the Fake News DemOp Media is mired below 50%.
But the Dems, like the Repubs in 2016, are sorting through a field of candidates who are highly likely to blow the layup. The Repubs, because their candidates were weak-ass squishy cucks. The Dems, because their candidates are loony leftists.
Trump got out of an overcrowded field, and became the only Repub who could beat Hillary, while also being the only candidate who would have lost to just about anyone else. I wonder if the parallel will continue. Who is the Dem candidate who can take the election from Trump? I don’t think Biden, Warren or Sanders can do so. Is there a dark horse who could?
I’m still on Trump Loses, unless democrats decide to just say “fuck it” and throw.
I’m on the fence. I did a post awhile back on why there are serious headwinds for Trump; nothing has changed.
However, there is a limit to who the DemOp Media, Big Tech, and voter fraud can haul over the finish line. The Dems seem determined to find that limit.
I think Trump has an uphill fight no matter who they run, as will every Republican going forward. Between the demographic shift and the blatantly corrupt Democrat machines in an increasing number of States, the window to take the electoral votes is tight. 2016 may well have been a case of the Dems getting a bit ahead of themselves, but nothing systemic has been reversed and they are 4 years further along.
nothing systemic has been reversed
I don’t know why not, in states controlled by Repubs. I guess they are just that stupid. If it was up to me, no vote would count unless it was on a paper ballot. And you could only get a paper ballot by (a) showing up at the polls on election day or (b) going down to the clerk’s office and picking it up in person after signing an absentee affidavit. IOW, the way elections were run for decades before voting machines.
Oh, and you’d have to show ID to get the ballot.
they are 4 years further along
I think they beta tested ballot harvesting in CA and AZ last year. They must be pleased with the results, so we should expect it to go into production for the national market.
I don’t know why not, in states controlled by Repubs. I guess they are just that stupid.
They just don’t get that when the other side brings a straight razor, you need to grab a pool chain.
From where I sit I think the Democrats throwing the election is nominating anybody but Biden. I can’t see America voting for any of the others* in a time of relative stability. Their policy positions are just too much. At least, I hope. If not, we’re in for some rocky years ahead.
*I could see Gabbard or Yang winning if they got the nod, but they won’t, so I exclude them from consideration.
I don’t see any of them, as now packaged, beating Trump.
Sanders is a joke, will never get the nom, will never accept being VP. He’ll take his marbles and go home, like last time.
Biden is vulnerable to a leftist third party run to split the vote, and might honestly stroke out before the election. At the very least, he’ll get filmed being thrown in a van at some point like Hillary.
Warren can probably hold it together and will probably accept a VP that will actually help her. (Booker might be best; Harris would be a disaster.) But her voice is like nails on a backboard to any hetero male and she’s a wild-eyed nut to even people that like her. I can see most men stealth voting for Trump or staying home after another round of MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVER VOTE FOR WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN!
Biden has the best chance at beating Trump and by a lot, in my opinion. He appeals to the white working class in the Midwest in a way that no Democrat running for president does. And he dominates among African American voters (who have always had more in common with the white working class then upper class white liberals who currently dominate the party).
But, I think Warren is going to win the primary, because upper class white liberals dominate the party now. Hillary 2.0 has a 0% chance of winning the presidency. She will be mocked into defeat.
Biden has the best chance of beating Trump is he takes white squaw as VP. I won’t go into the explanation again as I’ve already posted it enough last couple of threads. But anyone besides Biden is just too extreme right now and have almost no name recognition.
That being said, I think Biden gets the nom and loses to Trump by about the same margin as Hillary did.
Incumbents are heard to beat, that’s well documented fact. If people are doing ok, they are adverse to change.
I agree.
Barring Trump doing anything *supremely stupid*, I see him crushing the Dems. Like 40+ state wins.
As long as the Dems keep saying insane things and proposing that half the country is racist, I’m confident going into 2020.
40+
He didn’t mean it folks; put your wallets away!
WA IL RI VT
OR NY CT MA
CA MD DE
That’s eleven not counting
CO
NM
MN
VA
VA is not a lock, Trump almost won the state in 2016. And Hillary was seen as a moderate candidate. Even with Biden it is not a lock, and likely none of the other candidates will win VA.
Man, don’t remind me what a disappointment mah boi Booker was. I had him pegged for a front-runner, attracting The Ethnics and Good Thinking Whites equally, and he just landed as a damp squib.
Still, he got the best burn on Harris on anyone, even if he was ripping off old Penn bit on Obama and “little bit of blow”.
As for men staying away, they may as well this time, but The Rule of Becky is your future, SF. Embrace it.
Booker has fallen into the Obama trap, this idea I see circulating that Trump would have never be President if Obama had been the firebrand ultraleftist the Twitterverse wanted him to be. Obama was a squishy centrist and so is Cory Booker, you see.
I would think all a Democratic nominee would need to do to win the general would be to just shut his or her stupid yob and avoid an outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease, even allowing for some leeway. Biden’s the frontrunner I think because like Hyp says he’s the least crazy of the “serious” contenders. I could maybe see a Biden/Warren ticket. I’d say Harris, because she gets you the PoC and wamyn demographic, but I think she and Biden genuinely don’t get along.
But then, I’m not sure that hating Trump motivates enough people to get out and vote for Biden. Then you’ve got the people who just want to go back to a normal politician voting against Trump. Then you’ve got the #walkaway people who might vote Trump to send a message. Then you’ve got people who genuinely adore Trump, and people who either hate him like cancer or actually really like Joe Biden. I’m just not sure. And I think to me that is the ultimate condemnation of the Democratic field; there’s just nobody they can bring forward who is a clearly better alternative to Donald Effing Trump.
“I would think all a Democratic nominee would need to do to win the general would be to just shut his or her stupid yob and avoid an outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease”
You can forget that. They are in no way capable of that, none of them. They are going to keep trekking to the left until they go off the deep end. Count on it. Except for Biden and he’ll just gaff his way through the entire ordeal.
Here’s the winning slogan: “Biden Is Not A Becky”.
I can’t think of a stronger argument for the man to win.
(To be nominated, it’s “Biden/Trump Debate. Because America Deserves It.”)
I like ‘Corn Pop 2020’. That’s all I’m going to be able to think now every time I see ol Joe talking non-sense.
Oh fuck, he should lean in and find some old guy to play the role of Corn Pop.
God, if the story is vaguely true, and he can convince the guy to be his VP pick…
No fair using real quotes, that’s my schtick!
Does your Schtick require the use of funds gathered through taxation or the borrowing to be repaid via taxation?
/ I couldn’t resist DonationNotTaxation 😉
Did he just spoil the next episode of H&H The Show?
I keep hearing Lots of libertarians think Biden won’t get the Nomination. I can see where they come from, but, despite the other people he’s topped every poll i’ve seen of the general electorate (of Dems). When you hear “Hey Bernie just got 2nd in a Poll in Iowa” i think : 2nd Place still gets 0 votes.
(Yes i know some state primaries split their votes)
Three tickets out of Iowa.
Joe is easily the least crazy of the bunch, which is pretty incredible. I see him getting the nomination based on that alone.
Deep State Update:
Did FBI and CIA have an agent provocateur who tried to entrap the Trump Organization in a Russia deal?
Interesting that Mueller failed to disclose that a heavily cited witness was a long-time informant. That “proffer” is odd – those are usually deals made by people suspected/accused of a crime to trade testimony for immunity. If Sater’s hands were clean in 2017, why was there a proffer? If his hands weren’t clean, what was he trying to get out of? What (again. undisclosed) leverage did the FBI have on him? Typically, if the proffered evidence lives up to its billing, the witness is granted immunity. Was Slater given an immunity deal?
I thought the funniest part about the Biden story was that, once people started laughing about it,
firefightersreporters leapt into action to determine that, yes, there really WAS a guy nicknamed Corn Pop in Wilmington Delware in the early Sixties, and he really DID have a gang called the Romans! Story checks out!! ……overlooking the fact that there’s still the fact that we’re expected to believe that young Joe Biden, brandishing six feet of metal chain, faced off with razor-wielding gangsters.Well, there was definitely a pool in Wilmington, so the entire story must be true!
re: pool chains
At our neighborhood pool it’s rope with plastic floaties threaded through.
You think that’d keep Corn Pop from the deep end?
Chains were barely enough to keep Romans at bay!
I wonder how many times it would take to beat a man to death with small plastic floaters threaded through a lightweight rope. 1000 lashes?
“Yore name is TOBY!!!”
“I… am… Corn Pop!”
now that was legitimately laugh out loud funny
Another odd fact: schools were segregated in Wilmington at that time. Many swimming pools were segregated. Were the Wilmington pools segregated? Seems very possible, maybe even likely. Some were segregated with separate pools, some with a divider in the pool. Maybe that’s what the chain was – to keep the blacks and whites apart, not to mark off the deep end (which I have never seen in a pool). Even then, I have hard time believing they’d use a chain, rather than a rope and floaties.
If you believe Biden, it was an all black pool and he was the only white guy there. He got the job to “learn more about black people.”
(No, I’m not making this up.)
Joe Goodall Biden’s autobiography POCs in the Pool, coming soon.
Thanks for enacting my labor, SF.
And Biden doesn’t get a beating for being The (White) Man at a segregated pool, participating in the hierarchy of oppression?
So he was basically like when young Aragorn saddled up with the Riders of Rohan for a tour of duty.
I may be an utter moron, but this hurt my brain. I don’t know how to react about this. Thanks SF for this lovely gem.