Words appeared on the screen as Donald slowly typed:
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTONDecember 17, 2019
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Speaker of the House of Representatives
Washington, D.C. 20515Dear Madam Speaker:
I write to express my strongest and most powerful protest against the partisan impeachment crusade being pursued by the Democrats in the House of Representatives. This impeachment represents an unprecedented and unconstitutional abuse of power by Democrat Lawmakers, unequaled in nearly two and a half centuries of American legislative history.
“Good start, Donald,” the hair said, peering at the screen over the President’s barely conscious eyebrows.
“Strong opening,” the hat agreed. “‘Unprecedented and unconstitutional’ is perfect. Bitches love alliteration.”
The Articles of Impeachment introduced by the House Judiciary Committee are not recognizable under any standard of Constitutional theory, interpretation, or jurisprudence. They include no crimes, no misdemeanors, and no offenses whatsoever.
“Straight from Rudy, that part,” Donald said proudly. The hat and the hair both um’d and ah’d in agreement.
Donald typed furiously, backspaced just as furiously and retyped furiously.
You have cheapened the importance of the very ugly word, impeachment!
“Boom. Kill shot,” Donald chortled.
“Cheapened something ugly?” the hair asked.
“Quiet, you!” the hat snapped.
By proceeding with your invalid impeachment, you are violating your oaths of office, you are breaking your allegiance to the Constitution, and you are declaring open war on American Democracy. You dare to invoke the Founding Fathers in pursuit of this election-nullification scheme—yet your spiteful actions display unfettered contempt for America’s founding and your egregious conduct threatens to destroy that which our Founders pledged their very lives to build. Even worse than offending the Founding Fathers, you are offending Americans of faith by continually saying “I pray for the President,” when you know this statement is not true, unless it is meant in a negative sense. It is a terrible thing you are doing, but you will have to live with it, not I!
“The last sentence seems a little petulant,” the hair said.
“Petulant?” Donald asked. “What does that mean?”
“Just ignore him,” the hat said. “He’s just jealous.”
…
“OK, done with all the legal whatever,” Donald said.
“Biden,” the hat growled. “Hit them with Biden, “Hit ‘em hard!”
You know full well that Vice President Biden used his office and $1 billion dollars of U.S. aid money to coerce Ukraine into firing the prosecutor who was digging into the company paying his son millions of dollars. You know this because Biden bragged about it on video. Biden openly stated: “I said, I’m telling you, you’re not getting the billion dollars’…I looked at them and said: I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not getting the money.’ Well, son of a bitch. He got fired.” Even Joe Biden admitted just days ago in an interview with NPR that it “looked bad.” Now you are trying to impeach me by falsely accusing me of doing what Joe Biden has admitted he actually did.
“Aw, yeah, muthafuckas!” the hat bellowed triumphantly.
“Good job, Donald,” the hair said.
“Good job,” the hat said in a breaking falsetto. “Good? It’s perfect! PERFECT!”
… Ambassador Sondland testified that I told him: “No quid pro quo. I want nothing. I want nothing. I want President Zelensky to do the right thing, do what he ran on.”
“Yeah,” the hat said, rubbing himself against Donald’s sagittal crest through the hair.
“Stop. That’s disgusting,” the hair said, trying to buck the hat off.
“I wish I could jizz right in your eyes,” the hat said, clenching in anger.
They began to wrestle on Donald’s head.
“Can you guys calm down?” Donald asked. “I trying to fucking type here.”
“Just cut and paste what Rudy wrote,” the hair said, rising like a kraken from under the hat to straggle it with many split-end tentacles.
“I’m adding to it!” Donald said, swatting at them both.
…
You have developed a full-fledged case of what many in the media call Trump Derangement Syndrome and sadly, you will never get over it!
…
You view democracy as your enemy!
“Good additions, Donald,” the hat said, chewing on one of the grasping tendrils of the hair.
“The next part is tough,” Donald said. “And my fingers hurt from typing. And my Chicken McNuggets are cooling down.
“Consult the notes we made, Donald,” the hair said, beating at the hat with balled-up fists of prehensile locks.
Speaker Pelosi, you admitted just last week at a public forum that your party’s impeachment effort has been going on for two and a half years,” long before you ever heard about a call with Ukraine. Nineteen minutes after I took the oath of office, the Washington Post published a story headlined, “The Campaign to Impeach President Trump Has Begun.” Less than three months after my inauguration, Representative Maxine Waters stated, “I’m going to fight every day until he’s impeached.” House Democrats introduced the first impeachment resolution against me within months of my inauguration, for what will be regarded as one of our country’s best decisions, the firing of James Comey (see Inspector General Reports)—who the world now knows is one of the dirtiest cops our Nation has ever seen. A ranting and raving Congresswoman, Rashida Tlaib, declared just hours after she was sworn into office, “We’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna impeach the motherf****r.” Representative Al Green said in May, “I’m concerned that if we don’t impeach this president, he will get re-elected.” Again, you and your allies said, and did, all of these things long before you ever heard of President Zelensky or anything related to Ukraine. As you know very well, this impeachment drive has nothing to do with Ukraine, or the totally appropriate conversation I had with its new president. It only has to do with your attempt to undo the election of 2016 and steal the election of 2020!
The hat repeated every name of every one of their enemies and muttered a curse to blind or bind or wither their genitals into bitter roots and foul hollows.
Congressman Adam Schiff cheated and lied all the way up to the present day, even going so far as to fraudulently make up, out of thin air, my conversation with President Zelensky of Ukraine and read this fantasy language to Congress as though it were said by me. His shameless lies and deceptions, dating all the way back to the Russia Hoax, is one of the main reasons we are here today.
“Schiff,” the hair said, muffled yet full of contempt.
“Put that picture in where his mouth looks like a butthole,” the hat said, trying to smother the hair.
“It’s not a blog post, dipshit,” the hair said. “It’s a formal letter to Congress.”
“That’s it, you’re through. Through!” the hat screamed.
“Put in the next cut and paste,” the hair grunted, struggling. “All the good stuff we’ve done.”
…
“I can’t concentrate!” Donald said as the hat and the hair battled on his head.
Donald began to read out loud as he slowly typed:
“There is nothing I would rather do than stop referring to your party as the Do-Nothing Democrats. Unfortunately, I don’t know that you will ever give me a chance to do so. After three years of unfair and unwarranted investigations, 45 million dollars spent, 18 angry Democrat prosecutors, the entire force of the FBI, headed by leadership now proven to be totally incompetent and corrupt, you have found NOTHING!”
“NOTHING!” the hat echoed. “HA!”
“Few people in high position could have endured or passed this test. You do not know, nor do you care, the great damage and hurt you have inflicted upon wonderful and loving members of my family. You conducted a fake investigation upon the democratically elected President of the United States, and you are doing it yet again.”
“Exclamation point, Donald,” the hat said. “You can never have too many!”
“You are the ones interfering in America’s elections. You are the ones subverting America’s Democracy. You are the ones Obstructing Justice. You are the ones bringing pain and suffering to our Republic for your own selfish personal, political, and partisan gain.”
“Oh, nice repetition,” the hair said, pulling on the bill of the hat.
“Stop fighting!” Donald said.
“Never!” the hat said, and then to the hair, “From Hell’s heart I stab at thee.”
“Stop quoting Wrath of Khan at me,” the hair said and let out a piercing squeal.
“Moby Dick, asshole!” the hat yelled, “Moby Dick!”
Donald snatched them both from his head and threw them to the floor.
“Both of you, shut up,” he said. “There’s still a lot to cut and paste!”
Before the Impeachment Hoax, it was the Russian Witch Hunt…
The hat and the hair lay on the Presidental Crest on the Oval Office floor, breathing heavily, barely moving. They listened to Donald type and mutter for a while.
“Ha!” he said. “HA! Listen to this one.” He read from the screen:
“More due process was afforded to those accused in the Salem Witch Trials.”
His typing got faster and louder.
He began to read again after some thirty minutes had passed:
“No intelligent person believes what you are saying. Since the moment I won the election, the Democrat Party has been possessed by Impeachment Fever.”
“IMPEACHMENT FEVER!” he repeated in triumph. “I mean, right? Perfect, just perfect.”
The hat and the hair lay utterly still on the carpet as he starting typing again.
…
“And now,” Donald said, “the Coupe Degrace!”
“One hundred years from now, when people look back at this affair, I want them to understand it, and learn from it, so that it can never happen to another President again.”
“Uh, oh yeah, go Donald, oh yeah,” Donald cheered himself.
“Sincerely yours, Donald J. Trump President of the United States of America yadda yadda yadda,” he said to himself.
In the now silent Oval Office, he thought he heard the hat speaking quietly to the hair but he couldn’t be sure.
ate lunch…still have it. Something was wrong with this one.
For the new revised printing, I’d have The Hair be the one who knows Melville references.
He is just needling the hat.
I always thought it was Shakespeare… I guess that’s what I get for not reading Moby Dick when I was supposed to.
It’s a good option for audiobook. Although that made going back and making sure I hadn’t misheard the double entendre of some of the passages a little more difficult.
Now do the matrimonial warmth of Ishmael and Queequeg.
and
Call me Ishtar…
Speaker Pelosi, you admitted just last week at a public forum that your party’s impeachment effort has been going on for two and a half years,” long before you ever heard about a call with Ukraine. Nineteen minutes after I took the oath of office, the Washington Post published a story headlined, “The Campaign to Impeach President Trump Has Begun.” Less than three months after my inauguration, Representative Maxine Waters stated, “I’m going to fight every day until he’s impeached.”
That was just poetic license. Raw meat for the base. This process is all strictly on the up and up. Our adherence to the foundational philosophy of the Constitution is unshakeable.
In the now silent Oval Office, he thought he heard the hat speaking quietly to the hair but he couldn’t be sure.
Perfect.
Huzzah! Save Democracy! Sign the Petition!
As you know very well, this impeachment drive has nothing to do with Ukraine, or the totally appropriate conversation I had with its new president. It only has to do with your attempt to undo the election of 2016 and steal the election of 2020!
Oh, pshaw.
In the now silent Oval Office, he thought he heard the hat speaking quietly to the hair but he couldn’t be sure.
I can’t believe that I am genuinely worried about the Hat and Hair…. Are they dead. Was it just an illusion?
~author typo fairy~
I’m assuming it’s post-coital pillow talk.
The most upsetting thing about the H&H universe is how seamlessly reality has caught up with it.
There is only the Elder Gods, and SF is their profit.
Profit?
Something about ‘losing $.10 per unit, but we’ll make up for it in volume’ belongs here.
Well, the Elder Gods do have a LOT of volume.
It’s the best shared universe this decade.
Semi on topic:
https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/18/politics/impeachment-polling-donald-trump/index.html
Some time later today — maybe MUCH later today — the House will vote to impeach President Donald Trump for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress — both tied to his actions around a July 25 call with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelensky.
Even as the House prepares for the historic vote, however, there’s growing evidence that the public impeachment proceedings in the House against Trump may actually be helping him politically.
Take a new Gallup poll released Wednesday morning, which shows two things happening since House Democrats, led by Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California, opened up a formal impeachment inquiry in October regarding Trump’s conduct with Zelensky:
1) Trump’s job approval rating has gone from 39% to 45%
2) Support for Trump’s impeachment and removal has dipped from 52% to 46%.
CNN begins to back pedal as fast as they can.
CNN backpedaling? Nah.
I talked with my wife yesterday about how fast the Democrats went from being (in rhetoric) the “Party of the working man” to talking about how those rubes are too ignorant and vote against their interests.
There’s a whole book genre around this: “What’s a matter with (insert state or demographic group that no longer votes Democratic)?”
vote against their interests
I ripped into the liberals at work over this.
“Either they are voting for their interests–which are merely different than yours, or you are saying they are too dumb to be allowed to vote.”
Yes, glare at me, co-workers. I feed on your disdain.
At least “too dumb to be allowed to vote” is consistent with their hatred of markets.
Too dumb to be allowed to buy?
Too dumb to choose their own type of house, choose an area to live, choose how they come and go from work, etc.
These sorts of things, you know the stuff you can’t trust the rabble with, is what Top men are for….
Dayum. That had to be hard for someone there to type out.
As much as I loathe the whole impeachment shit show, it’s far better than the Dem’s actually working with Trump to get shit done.
Like that shit-show spending plan? Yup.
This…
Fuck.
+14 Trillion
“Bitches love alliteration”
This is true, though.
“I wish I could jizz right in your eyes,” the hat said, clenching in anger.
“Just cut and paste what Rudy wrote,” the hair said, rising like a kraken from under the hat to straggle it with many split-end tentacles.
“Consult the notes we made, Donald,” the hair said, beating at the hat with balled-up fists of prehensile locks.
Wonderful.
I keep hearing this in my mind while reading that… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j-SFbEqZ18
Perfect. John WIlliams is a genius.
I always thought it was Shakespeare… I guess that’s what I get for not reading Moby Dick when I was supposed to.
Don’t bother.
Spoiler alert- everybody dies at the end.
I have no intention of it. I remember how boring the first few pages were.
It was a great reference manual on whaling.
I’d bet you remember the first sentence of it.
“It was a queer and sultry summer, the summer they executed the Rosenbergs.”
“A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct.”
“The sky above the port was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel.”
Not sure I can do any others by heart.
“Who is John Galt?”
It was late afternoon when he finally heard them coming to kill him.
One of the best opening sentences ever.
Not all that memorable. Or should I skip to Chapter 1?
Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.
Is that right?
Huh. I had never read the memoir that they made Marley and Me from.
“Bureaucracy.”
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?
Stupid monkey!
Now is the winter of our discontent.
?
I never actually read any of the World of Warcraft novels.
Funfact – that is the opening line of “The Scarlet Letter”.
Which is one of the worst WoW novelizations.
Anduin Pryn was such a Mary Sue.
Just sit right back
And you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip,
O! for a muse of fire!
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
“My favorite book!”
/Liz, Bernie, et al.
“My favorite
bookmanual!”/Liz, Bernie, et al.
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”
“I always get the shakes before a drop.”
“Lews Therin Telamon wanders through his nearly destroyed palace, looking for his wife Ilyena Therin Moerelle.”
*ducks*
+1 braid tug
“On one otherwise ordinary Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth story window.”
Monster Hunters Inc?
Yup.
I mentioned it on here before, but I couldn’t suspend my disbelief…if the monsters were that tough, they would have won well before modern weaponry existed to stop them.
Other than that, I enjoyed it. I have only read the first in the series.
There’s actually some in story reasons that I think address that point. That said it gets much better as it goes. I really recommend reading the rest. And Nemesis and Alpha may be the two best in the series.
“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.”?
“‘Repent, Harlequin!’ said the Ticktockman.”
“Far Out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.”
“I am forced into speech because men of science have refused to follow my advice without knowing why.”
In the Lenin Barracks in Barcelona, the day before I joined the militia, I saw an Italian militiaman standing in front of the officers’ table.
“Today I consider it my good fortune that Fate designated Braunau on the Inn as the place of my birth.” ?
“Elmer Gantry was drunk”
too easy.
“Happy whales are all alike; every unhappy whale is unhappy in its own way.”
It was a dark and stormy night.
When I was reading it there were many moments of realization that though 15 minutes passed I was still staring at the same paragraph.
The Sound and the Fury. Sweet Jesus, I thought I would never finish that book. Same thing. Staring at the page wondering what I did to deserve it.
Fucking Faulkner. We had to read The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying in High School. And yet, the same school had us read 1984 and Brave New World in the same summer reading list (IIRC, it’s been a while since High School).
Faulkner is awesome!
Love all his books. The trick to The Sound and the Fury is to read the appendix he wrote for it years later before starting the book.
I loved Faulkner
*shrug emoji*
Not everybody.
Hast seen the white whale?
If you’re gonna ride, ride the white horse.
The first third or so of Moby Dick is pretty boring. But once they go whaling, it is a pretty cool book. At least it is to sociopaths like me who think going out in a long boat to jab harpoons into a whale would be fun.
John?
You might like both movie versions of Down to the Sea in Ships.
There’s an early talkie version of Moby Dick starring John Barrymore as Ahab that’s actually based on a different story — in this version, Ahab kills the whale, survives, and gets the girl.
Even as the House prepares for the historic vote, however, there’s growing evidence that the public impeachment proceedings in the House against Trump may actually be helping him politically.
Oh, HORROR!
It gets better:
Remember this: Pelosi did not want to go down the impeachment path. She stood athwart her party over the summer as more and more of her Democratic members announced their support for an impeachment inquiry over Trump’s conduct in connection to special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. Her concern, which she voiced publicly and privately, was that a partisan impeachment — one without significant bipartisan support — would too bitterly divide the country to make it worth doing.
That all changed in the fall, when a whistleblower complaint regarding Trump’s actions on that July 25 call surfaced. It rapidly became clear that Trump’s behavior on the call was a dam-breaker — Pelosi could no longer stand in the way of the momentum within her caucus to move toward impeaching the President.
But simply because Pelosi acquiesced to that inexorable momentum does not mean that her concerns about the politics of impeachment had changed. What Pelosi knew then — and knows now — is that impeachment is a chaos-creator in the American electorate. There is simply no certainty about how the voters — particularly the small number of independent and/or undecided voters — will react to all of this.
And the early returns — emphasis on the word “early” — have to make Democrats worried.
Anarchy in the UK
I didn’t see any knives or swords.
*disappointed*
Why are they writing now about something that happened on Halloween?
Gee. If only there were some sort of device that might allow a smallish sort to respond to big guys with knives and swords who mean them violence.
/hands wdalasio a rape whistle
There you go!
” If only there were some sort of device that might allow a smallish sort to respond to big guys…”
like a narwhal tusk?
those rubes are too ignorant and vote against their interests
I always love how certain these guys are that they have a perfect read on the interests of the people they’re talking about. Inevitably, it boils down to a more generous dole, pricing the rural population out of the labor market, and a bunch of government expansions that favor educated urban populations. It never seems to occur to them that some of these people might want to have a job, some respect from their community, or some opportunity without becoming part of the credentialed class. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that the “rubes” aren’t totally off base when they doubt the goodwill of people who perpetually insult them and demand they “check their privilege”.
That sounds just like what a rube that needs to check his privilege would say.
I checked my privilege. He agreed with me that the proggies are assholes.
This kind of reminds me of an association meeting I went to recently for CPAs (I went for the CPE credits). The speaker was talking about some of the lobbying they do and said something along the lines of the far right and far left both agree that professional licensing should be abolished. Obviously since being a CPA requires having a stupid license, they were working to shut any bill down that would reduce licensing.
Of course, everyone nodded in agreement which left me wondering if I was the only far right or far left person in the room.
Without licensing, who’s going to show up for C-E makework seminars?
What car company was it that made the Coupe de Grace?
Rover?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Kelly
Ouch. Dude, too soon.
Besides, the correct answer is Sunbeam.
It was Lincoln, but it was really just a badge-engineered version of the Mercury Marquis de Sade.
How apropos, if you ever bought a Mercury you truly are a sadist.
I had a Mercury once…
Were you crazy about it?
Just a little bit mercurial.
+1 David Lindley
I drove a Mercury lynx wagon, with no ac and 180k miles on it for two years of Law School. Cost me $700. Best value per mile driven in my life.
*applause*
Huh. Apparently Musharraf’s been sentenced to death. I didn’t realize he was still alive.
I didn’t realize he was out of power.
You know who else plans to prosecute a former President?
He’s currently in exile. I doubt he’s going to turn himself in.
Pakistan continues to have one of the more bizarre legal system in the world.
Sorry to go OT so early, but I have to admit I’m very impressed with how thoroughly these ladies were able to purge themselves of any iota of self-awareness.
There must be a caveat allowing for male cats. There just has to be
https://www.foxnews.com/world/french-workers-protest-raising-retirement-age
The French are at it again. Riots over raising the retirement age to…..64. The horror!
64? The horror.
/can retire at 56
So you’re lazier than a filthy Frenchman? You sure you want to brag about that?
Would you rather I do nothing an soak taxpayer dollars, or do something* and soak taxpayer dollars?
*Not necessarily to the benefit of said taxpayers.
I don’t live in NY, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
Wait till we bail out the bankrupt Blue State pensions.
The most certain way to inspire rage in a Frenchman is to ask them to work.
Fuck France.
Oi! Just the cute parts, if you please.
Artist’s depiction of me opening up glibertarians.com while starting lunch
As it turns out, I would have been fine. A rather tame outing from SF.
(starts bracing for the next installment, which is sure to double-down on the horror)
Hillary Clinton✔
@HillaryClinton
One of our most precious rights as Americans is the right to determine who our leaders are.
The president abused his powers to cheat in the next election and rob us of that right. Then he obstructed Congress to cover it up.
Impeachment is the only remedy. #DefendOurDemocracy
Not cooperating with being railroaded is obstruction. Also, jump in Hillary, you know you want to.
“He’s robbing us of the right to choose our leaders,” says person whose party has been looking for a reason, ANY reason, to remove an elected president since before he even started the job.
The president abused his powers to cheat in the next election and rob us of that right.
That…. There’s something wrong with the claim here and bear with me as i suss it out.
First the central claim is that he abused his powers. That is the Article of Impeachment. But Hillary is adding in that it wasn’t just an abuse, it was an abuse to of his power in order to “cheat in the next election and rob us of that right [to determine who our leadrs are]”. But what he did wasn’t really cheating. Getting dirt on a potential opponent is part of politics. Obama was one of the masters of this, as was HRC herself. There is nothing necessarily wrong with doing opposition research. But her claim is that doing so is cheating, and that it would undoubtedly have swayed the election in his favor. The problem is that he was using the powers of the presidency to do what he did. I’m fine with calling it an abuse of power, but it does seem that they lean on “He was trying to cheat”, when that’s not what was happening, way hard.
Obama won his Senate seat by leaking the sealed divorce papers of his opponent.
But he dug that dirt up fair and square on his own dime! So it totes OK.
Obama was losing that race in the polls before that was leaked too
Why don’t we get to Trump’s obstruction of Congress AFTER we charge Clapper for outright lying to Congress?
Because he’s a proper TOP MAN.
Not some icky business person who ain’t allowed to play in our swimming pool.
How about fabricating a dossier with false claims to discredit your opponent, Hillary? Is that cheating to win an election?
No. She was forced to do that in order to counteract all the other cheating and unfairness.
She stroked out. You can’t convince me otherwise.
Win Friends. Influence people.
France’s trade unions on Wednesday defended their decision to cut power to thousands of homes, companies and even the Bank of France to force the government to drop a wide-ranging pension reform.
The power cuts, illegal under French law, added to a sense of chaos in the second week of nationwide strikes that have crippled transport, shut schools and brought more than half a million people onto the street against President Emmanuel Macron’s reform.
Asked on French radio whether the power cuts weren’t a step too far, Philippe Martinez, the head of the hardline CGT union, said the cuts were necessary to force Macron to back down.
“I understand these workers’ anger,” the mustachioed union leader said. “These are targeted cuts. You’ll understand that spitting on the public service can make some of us angry.”
Following a meeting with government officials, he hinted at further cuts, saying “we may amplify these kinds of methods”.
Who run Bartertown?
Holy shit. That country is really broken.
The French desperately need zombie Ron Reagan to fix this.
Not even the Bonapartes want anything to do with them. They’re luck to get an Orlean at this point.
-1 Bonaparte’s Whiff of Grapeshot
They could always ask Sweden for one of the Bernadottes.
This Donald Trump’s letter is the Gettysburg Address of our times.
You mean it was scrawled on a piece of paper during a train ride while suffering from smallpox?
No, he means it was penned by Daniel Day Lewis.
I wonder how long until the name of the author of that letter leaks out.
And then after that, how long until his house is burned down.
He’s already shot himself in the back of the head.
And how many people will support leaking that name, but not Eric Ciaramella’s.
One of our most precious rights as Americans is the right to determine who our leaders are.
Does anybody else smell burning toast?
Did someone reply to her: “Yup and we didn’t pick you”
An honest, non-partisan, facts first take on the very solemn but necessary impeachment.
Tapper said, “We have heard legitimate defenses of President Trump of there being enough question, enough doubt as to whether or not this should be an impeachable offense. Whether or not every vein has been exhausted in terms of trying to force subpoenas in terms of trying to get witness testimony, in terms of trying to get evidence. But one of the things we hear from House Republicans so often are just misrepresentations, lies about what happened.”
He added, “I don’t know if many people remember the show popup video on VH1. This would provide up little facts and figures on music videos back when people showed music videos. I wish we could do popup video for these facts because we’re about to hear a torrent of lies about what the president actually did.”
Oh, I was mistaken. Tapper is projecting so hard he should have ‘JVC’ tattooed to his forehead.
What does star of Kickboxer and Street Fighter: The Movie Jean-Claude Van Damme have to do with anything?
Oh…Japan Victor Corp.
Never mind.
I thought it was Junior Varsity Clits.
He plumbed his house with coconut water.
It’s the Chewbacca Defense.
Poor Jake. He never recovered from Bush Derangement Syndrome.
But one of the things we hear from House Republicans so often are just misrepresentations, lies about what happened
My firmly held beliefs are facts, not opinons.
Reminder: Jake Tapper is such a serious journalist that he dismissed any accusations of FISA abuse as a conspiracy theory and then claimed that the IG report “vindicated” CNN’s reporting.
The Clown News Network never disappoints
Speaking of heads which would look good on pikes
The wealth tax proposals of U.S. presidential candidates Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders are symptoms of a renewed interest in the idea of taxing not just incomes but fortunes. Perhaps the purest argument for this idea was made this year by French economist Thomas Piketty in his new book, “Capital and Ideology.” Piketty’s idea is to use confiscatory taxation to do away with permanent property; not even U.S. progressives go that far.
——-
[But wait]
——-
In other words, fleecing the rich would not do much to reduce inequality. The revenue raised has to be spread too thin. For all the wealth concentration statistics that Piketty and like-minded economists and politicians throw around, neither the rich alone nor the rich plus the middle class are rich enough to subsidize everyone who is poorer under any wealth tax scheme that is remotely politically feasible.
The answer is cripplingly progressive income taxes and massive consumption taxes. Piece of cake.
As opposed to non-confiscatory taxation?
As opposed to outright theft.
If you earned it but haven’t taken posession yet it wasn’t confiscated from you.
/proglogic
Piketty has said in the past (in “Capital in the 21st Century”) that his recommendations were not about making the poor better off. He has admitted that the Poor would be poorer under his plans. It was always about making sure that no one is that rich.
Now i know i don’t qualify as “Poor” anymore. But i did when he wrote that. And There is something more than just arrogance to be able to write, with a staright face :”What i’m going to do is going to make you poorer, but you should want it because it will make that other guy not as rich as he is too”.
Now he’s saying it isn’t even about equality.
Piketty is all the worst impulses of Marx with none of the redeeming qualities.
Going to bed hungry isn’t as bad when you know the guy down the street now only has 1 Mercedes instead of 3.
The answer is to impoverish everyone (except for the righteous leaders like Picketty…) for the sake of equality.
I like the good old ad hominem: Piketty is an admitted domestic abuser.
Via Wiki:
Thomas Piketty was the partner of the politician Aurélie Filippetti. In 2009, she sued him for domestic violence. Thomas Piketty acknowledged the complaint and apologized, following which Aurélie Filipetti withdrew her complaint.
Well, what are you supposed to do when someone doesn’t want to pay?
Nobody has ever claimed that he doesn’t fuck sheep.
Seriously, how do these circle jerks always cost so much?
Top-shelf escorts and cocaine.
At least that’s my reason.
Hunter Biden is that you?
I said “top-shelf” not “top-shelf of the camper”.
Ukraine Oil money doesn’t go as far as it used to?
You’d think Ukrainian escorts would have a favorable cost/hotness ratio too.
At least that makes sense from a fiduciary standpoint. Between the salaries of congress-critters, their staff, FBI, some office supplies, server space(maybe), that’s $45 million?
Lots and lots of fact finding missions with 1st class flights and 5-star hotels. For the children.
You can’t expect congressmen or their staffers to fly coach? and staying in anything other than 5 stars is just barbaric.
Okay, but that only accounts for an additional $5 million.
I’m not as creative at
spendingwasting money as a bureaucrat. I’m out of ideas.Get better. Once I rise to power in the confusion of the revolution, I will need a guy that knows how to weld.
If you’ll be needing some sort of politician motel, I can definitely help with that. “Politicians check in, but they don’t check out.”
a guy that knows how to weld.
Sounds like someone’s getting a Killdozer.
Politician motel.
Speaking of jerking it…
https://www.rt.com/news/418165-masturbation-death-germany-asphyxiation/
what qualifies as Risky masturbation?
jacking it at the drug deal?
what qualifies as Risky masturbation?
All of it, it causes blindness, palmar hirsuitism, even death.
That’s why we introduced Kellogg’s Corn Flakes!
So that’s where the frosted flakes came from?
“They’re Gre… eeewww!”
It’s an odd thing to know that the Kellogg family has been more influential in the practice of altering male sex organs than any other family, religion, or government in world history.
On the plus side, topless Bridget Fonda (NSFW, obvs)
+2 Palmela Handerson
So, more than vaping deaths?
BAN MASTURBATION!!!
The whites are at it again
https://twitter.com/BBergquam/status/1207367143064588289
https://twitter.com/MoveOn/status/1207339021053186050
Across the nation last night, hundreds of thousands said with one voice that it’s time to #ImpeachAndRemove Trump.
I could be mistaken but I believe there is an election coming up.
The irony is that Moveon.org is celebrating impeachment. It really is true that Millennials don’t know a lick of history.
To be fair, most of them attended public schools.
Eh, I most heavily associate MoveOn with the Bush era when they came into their own as an organizing force. I’m not sure how ready I am to shit on a generation for not knowing a relatively wonky factlet about a PAC…especially since I had to explain the same fact to a few Gen Xers.
You never wondered why they were called “MoveOn”?
I usually think of “Code Pink” during the Bush years, since that was the era when Democrats pretended to oppose war. “MoveOn” was from the era when Democrats pretended to care about the Clintons.
I looked them up in the Bush era because I thought the name was funny for the context, but I consider where an org’s name came from to be a triviality that I don’t expect most people to care about.
I usually think of “Code Pink” during the Bush years, since that was the era when Democrats pretended to oppose war.I usually think of “Code Pink” during the Bush years, since that was the era when Democrats pretended to oppose war.
MoveOn is linked in my mind with the period of ineffectual online petitions to close guantanamo and spamming the FCC with form complaints about homosexuals and nipples eventually culminating in change(dot)org (which I know isn’t related to MoveOn).
MoveOn was tremendously effective. Just about everyone thinks Clinton was impeached for getting a blowjob.
Even I knew that MoveOn was about moving on from the topic of impeachment. And I followed the matter by watching Larry King Live on CNN in Moscow. I recall I could not understand why they kept talking about Clinton’s affair with Monica for many months–in every single Larry King Live program. Sure, it was a juicy scandal and why would you dwell on it forever?
Exactly. Hundreds of thousands won’t be enough votes, so they have to do it this way.
In semi-related news, Hillary is a 12-1 shot to become the D candidate.
Are we starting a dead-pool?
I would like to think that even this crowd is above that.
I’ll bet on Joe. He’ll go to some Army based and challenge a Drill Sergeant to a push up contest.
Explaining impeachment.
What is impeachment?
It’s the official, constitutional method for screaming at the sky because Trump is president.
Why is Trump being impeached?
Trump has committed some very serious offenses, from not being a Democrat to being a Republican. He also won the 2016 election, which rises to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors. He also restored the celebration of Christmas after eight years of winter with no Christmas under Obama. This drove Dems up a wall so they drummed up some charges against him.
Why didn’t Democrats include any criminal offenses in the articles of impeachment?
There were just so many of them, it was hard to pick one. So, instead of laying out actually impeachable offenses, the Democrats summarized it all with two main articles of impeachment: 1.) Trump is president. 2.) TRUMP IS PRESIDENT.
https://babylonbee.com/news/more-than-700-clowns-pen-letter-in-support-of-impeachment-trial
“More Than 700 Clowns Pen Letter In Support Of Impeachment Trial”
https://babylonbee.com/news/hey-look-over-there-is-that-trump-committing-an-impeachable-offense-shouts-mitch-mcconnell-distracting-democrats-while-hundreds-of-conservative-judges-sneak-by
“‘Look, Is That Trump Committing An Impeachable Offense?’ Mitch McConnell Says, Distracting Dems While More Conservative Judges Sneak By”
These guys are on fire
Indeed:
By Popular Demand, ABC Begins Airing ‘The View’ In High-Definition Silence
Trump Announces America+
*chef kiss*
Thomas Piketty was the partner of the politician Aurélie Filippetti. In 2009, she sued him for domestic violence. Thomas Piketty acknowledged the complaint and apologized, following which Aurélie Filipetti withdrew her complaint.
Did he grab her by the pussy?
From each according to her genitals to each according to his fist.
I’m late to the party. That was great SF.