Monday Afternoon Links

by | Jan 6, 2020 | Daily Links | 318 comments

Happy Monday, y’all. I hope your weekend was as excellent as mine. The Texans stole a victory giving them like, two playoff wins in the ’10s. I fully expect they’ll still have zero playoff wins in the ’20s in February. But that was nice. As was seeing another AFC South team win a game. I’d promote them to a not-quite-scrub division for next year. I also took a long walk in the outdoors with my family yesterday (yes, they all came home, too). I think the highlight of my day was seeing the older one scream like he’d been gutshot after a carpenter ant bit his finger. Seriously, I thought that he was being swarmed by hornets or something the way he was shouting. We’re still working on the manly, stoic way to express pain. I may have to teach him to cuss before that happens.

I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a hammer-and-sickle or a swastika, but some sort of socialist moron vandalized a soldiers’ memorial in St. Louis with anti-war graffiti. Because you know the non-coms get to decide when and where they fight, right? (h/t Heroic Mulatto — link to CNN, you decide safety)

Damn, they shipped Qassem Soleimani’s body back coach. That’s how you honor a martyr. Box seems a little short and narrow for a body-builder.

Massachusetts professor goes to house of love interest, assaults said interest when spurned. Toxic ____nity

Rats on the West Side, bedbugs… in Walmart? What a jerk.

Apparently, wanting to get the Impeachment trial started makes Trump “hasty”.  As if the right to a speedy trial weren’t in the Constitution.

 

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

318 Comments

  1. Rebel Scum

    Police in St. Louis, Missouri, are investigating vandalism at the Soldiers Memorial, which was spray-painted with anti-war graffiti over the weekend.

    Why is it no one can draw a swastika correctly?

    • Brett L

      I blame Common Core.

      • invisible finger

        I thought it was a dyslexic Norwegian.

    • Rebel Scum

      And first, biznitches.

      • Tres Cool

        Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella ?

        Fo’drizzle

      • Not Adahn

        Snoop Dogg Dad jokes? This has got to rank up there with “Guns N Roses being on the oldies station” as in indication of one’s looming mortality.

      • Rebel Scum

        *stares blankly*

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Appropriate response. cyto posted that one too at 11:21 this morning Glibs time, but not in response to someone claiming a ‘first’.

    • Sensei

      Blame the Buddhists.

  2. Rhywun

    I’m sorry but the Texans can fuck off. Thanks.

    • Nephilium

      My coworkers are happy for my support of their Titans over the Ravens. And the Patriots are already out, so there’s that bit of good news.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You support boring over fun, sounds like UCS.

  3. Rebel Scum

    When the victim invited Hachiyanagi inside, the suspect “hit her on the back of the head with ‘something hard,'” according to a criminal complaint written by Trooper Geraldine Bresnahan of the Massachusetts State Police.

    Don’t stick it in – oh that might not apply here.

    • Pan Zagloba

      As Hachiyanagi continued to rain blows, the victim said she asked why this was happening.

      “Ms. Hachiyanagi reportedly said that she loved her for many years and that she should have known,” according to Bresnahan’s report.

      “Crazy? YOU’RE CRAZY!!!”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s Mt Holyoke after all

    • LJW

      Don’t stick it in scissor…

    • Florida Man

      Don’t….um…interact with other humans…cuz, they might be crazy?

      • Spartacus

        Words to live by.

      • Florida Man

        My crippling social anxiety is what keeps me alive.

      • Brett L

        “That’s why I never kiss ’em on the mouth”

      • JD is Unemployed

        said Florida Man.

      • Shirley Knott

        “Might be”. Ah hahahahaha hahahahaha!!!!!

    • wdalasio

      On the other hand, she’s not exactly bad looking….

      • Lackadaisical

        Not the picture I saw. That was a pretty plain broad, and Ive got the yellow fever.

  4. Fatty Bolger
  5. The Hyperbole

    wanting to get the Impeachment trial started makes Trump “hasty”

    Meh, he didn’t tweet, ‘let’s get this started’ He tweeted “get it done” and “end it quickly”, I know it’s fashionable to mock the press but ‘hasty’ seems to fit.

    • robc

      I should have invaded England. Also, whats the code for 3D?

      • The Hyperbole

        I hereby swear not to backstab The Hyperbole

      • robc

        That is annoying. I hereby swear to attack you from the start.

        Just kidding, I dont know who we are yet.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “Hasty” would be demanding that the president be impeached because he is a threat to the republic, but then realizing that your case is shit because you didn’t do any of the leg work and then refusing to send the articles of impeachment to the Senate, because you know you will lose even more members of your caucus during the trial.

    • Florida Man

      Eh, why wait? Remove him from office or go about your business. Dragging it out is pure theater.

      • The Hyperbole

        Yeah, not arguing any if that, only pointing out that the Hill’s headline is accurate, Brett made as if they were smearing Trump.

      • Florida Man

        Oh, my bad.

  6. Rebel Scum

    Pennsylvania State Police are investigating after bed bugs were released in a Walmart changing room.

    People of Walmart hit a new low.

  7. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    anti-war graffiti

    I think the idiot wants to go to war. He keeps writing “Now AR” indicating his zeal to fight.

    • Pan Zagloba

      Maybe he’s a pro-gun advocate protesting Virginia nonsense?

      • Ted S.

        He’s a Packer fan writing “Now Aaron Rodgers”.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      cyto beat you to it at 11:21 this morning Glibs time.

      • Florida Man

        Not everyone has the same schedule. I’m here in the afternoon so I don’t get to see all the morning stuff.

      • leon

        reading old threads is like reading the links… who does that?

      • Florida Man

        The whole point of the comments is interaction. Also, I’m sure the internet is big enough for the same article to be posted twice in the comments.

      • leon

        Sorry, i was piling on you. I was being serious about reading old threads while riffing on the link joke. But yeah, there are plenty of times i come late to a thread an feel bummed cause I’m there for the interaction. I appreciate when a link gets tossed around a couple of times. Especially between Afternoon and morning cause you get different takes.

      • Florida Man

        I wasn’t serious, Leon. No worries.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Nice. Would make my job easier.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Have some supercilious juvenile sneering

    I read Airbnb Magazine so you don’t have to — not that you have to, not even if you are an Airbnb host that receives the publication for free in the mail, or if you’re a guest that, inexplicably, wants to read your host’s copy of Airbnb Magazine. I have gone out of my way to peruse it, so if you want to know what a lifestyle magazine for the gig economy says about precarious working life today, you can read this instead.

    ——-

    The first thing you will notice about Airbnb Magazine is how little it reminds you of Airbnb. There are no characterless apartments in unlived-in buildings. There is no particle-board furniture or strange smells. There are no long-term residents in gentrifying buildings ignoring you as you stumble up the stairs, luggage in tow, to the newly renovated apartment their old neighbor was just evicted from.

    Nor are there any rooms decorated in that familiar international Airbnb style: a mixture of anodyne decor, inspirational English-language quotations painted above the bed, and some generic nod to local color, like that photo of men eating lunch atop a New York skyscraper. Airbnb Magazine’s apartments are showpieces of modern design, or quirky tiny houses in the woods, or former chateaus in the French countryside.

    Nor are there any scammers, pop-up brothels, or dead bodies. One of the ownership risks that Airbnb devolves to its workers and customers is the risk of fraud. As Allie Conti reported last fall in Vice, the company routinely shields itself from liability through a combination of opaque regulations and a mutual review system that discourages confrontation between customers and unethical hosts. An old classmate of mine who worked at a French-language Airbnb call center in Portugal informed me that she routinely spoke with guests requesting refunds for the corpse they had just found in their rentals. “I was the first person they called when they arrived,” she told me; it happened so often that she developed a script instructing guests to report the body to local police, and then see about a refund.

    ——-

    The primary feeling I got reading Airbnb Magazine, other than boredom, was a sense of pity for the “content producers” who make it, the talented photographers and writers and filmmakers who should be able to make actual cinematic tone poems without shilling for a hotel conglomerate, or who could write about Turkish cuisine without debasing it as “brand storytelling” for a magazine that nobody reads.

    Never change, jacobin. Be sure to cry “Long live the Revolution!” as you are being led up the steps of the guillotine.

    • robc

      I lived Aug and Sept in an AirBNB. Read the magazine.

      This doesn’t prescribe the place I stayed at all. The dining room table was hand made by the owner, who is a chain saw artist in his spare time.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Um…. did he have leather masks displayed too?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Hand made from previous residents.

    • Fatty Bolger

      An old classmate of mine who worked at a French-language Airbnb call center in Portugal informed me that she routinely spoke with guests requesting refunds for the corpse they had just found in their rentals. “I was the first person they called when they arrived,” she told me; it happened so often that she developed a script instructing guests to report the body to local police, and then see about a refund.

      Oh, please. That’s pure bullshit.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yep. Lying sack of shit like every other commie propagandist.

      • leon

        Are you calling his French-Langauge friend in portugal a liar?

    • leon

      the talented photographers and writers and filmmakers who should be able to make actual cinematic tone poems without shilling for a hotel conglomerate

      Heaven forbid they find gainful employment. Nah all artists should be living like paupers in studio apartments, just waiting for the “lottery ticket” of being “discovered”.

      I don’t like your job, i’d rather you starve.

    • Rhywun

      she routinely spoke with guests requesting refunds for the corpse they had just found in their rentals

      Sure, Comrade Jan.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yeah, this guy is full of it.

    • leon

      There are no characterless apartments in unlived-in buildings. There is no particle-board furniture or strange smells. There are no long-term residents in

      gentrifying buildings

      ignoring you as you stumble up the stairs, luggage in tow, to the newly renovated apartment their old neighbor was just evicted from.

      Those places suck but Those people should have the right to live in squalor forever!

    • JD is Unemployed

      What the heck Airbnbs has that loser been staying at? Dollars to donuts he’s just making all that up. “Larger truth” and all that.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Talk to me when the planes are lifting off, won’t believe it until then.

      • Lackadaisical

        Wait til they land in Iran…

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        They should move them to Syria so everyone gets lost about what they are supposed to be upset about.

        “Orange man is bad for leaving Syria, but is even more badder for reentering Syria”

        “No. Orange man was right to leave Syria and then recommit us when no one expected”

        It messes with the NPC coding.

      • Lackadaisical

        Now you have me rooting for that to happen. XD

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Don’t tease me.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The attached letter in this tweet is not signed, but encouraging.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        From the comments:

        Peace out homies… “When asked to leave your country, I didn’t walk. Iran.”
        ?

      • dontreadonme

        That. Is. Awesome.

    • Florida Man

      The TV said he was going to place YUGE sanctions if the US left Iraq.

    • Tres Cool

      See my reply above #4

    • Ted S.

      Um, no thanks.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Adding to the great pacific plastic garbage swirl!

      Stay out of the water, you bitch!

  9. Donation Not Taxation

    Some guys with a certain interpretation of The Koran briefly visit Kenya from Somalia. While there, they kill Americans and damage US government aircraft.

    https://www.military.com/daily-news/2020/01/05/us-service-member-dod-contractors-killed-kenya-al-shabaab-attack.html

    Before attack, US had less than 150 troops on the ground. After attack, an undisclosed number between 50 and 100 either added or to be added.

    https://www.military.com/daily-news/2020/01/06/us-military-response-force-arrives-kenya-after-terrorist-attack.html

    Will the US government explode some ordinance somewhere in retaliation?

    • Tres Cool

      “It was a kinetic projectile action”

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Tres Cool votes Yes, they will.

    • R C Dean

      “Some people did something.”

      Actually, I would be crying with laughter if Trump had answered the bitching about killing Soleimani with that tweet.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Do it yourself?

    • Rebel Scum

      Nice looking rifle.

      • Sean

        My gf has had her eye on that lower. She wants one for her next build.

    • Lackadaisical

      I don’t see the problem.

      • The Hyperbole

        Hillary’s not actually behind bars?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Let paper over that the Quds in Quds Force is Jerusalem. It’s Donny Jr with Jerusalem Crusader that’s the problem.

      • Chafed

        They can both be assholes.

  10. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    There is no better way to show that you are opposed to war and not allying with foreign adversaries then by defacing a war memorial. That sells real well. People totally get on board with what you are saying after that.

    The American Left has never actually been anti-war, but sometimes I wonder if their antics are actually being committed by provocateurs meant to dissuade people from agreeing with opponents to war.

    • leon

      Ideally a war monument should be an anti-war message in itself. No one should go to a grave to war dead and come back with a glorious outlook on war.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        No one who designed the DC World War II monument believed that, apparently. That is the most bombastic monstrosity of all time. Of course, that was the “good war” that we mythologize about.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The STL monument does a pretty good job of meeting that intent. Or it did before the refurbishment.

        I was involved in setting up the STL Veteran’s Day parade from that location for the 3 years I was stationed there.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    The incident comes as thousands of troops are being deployed to the Middle East following the death of Iranian Gen. Qasem Soleimani, who was killed last week by a US airstrike in Iraq.

    Thousands?

    How long ’til the mediots drag out the Normandy Beach analogy? I can’t wait to see them crawling around in the sand.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      I pressed the link and used the password and it won’t let me in. Is it possible that you are wrong again, but this time with your own invite?

      • leon

        Think you need 80% reliability

      • The Hyperbole

        Ahh, you may have to have played a game or two before, there is some reliability thing that I don’t quite understand. Sorry. I’ll see if I can eliminate that requirement.

      • The Hyperbole

        Okay, It doesn’t seem possible to change the setup once a game is launched, I’ll start a new one with no reliability requirements if that’s allowed and get back to you.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        No need to apologize or start a new game. I’ve never actually played ‘Diplomacy’, although much like I’ve never watched a full episode of “Friends”, I was aware of its existence.

        I’ll just check back when you guys start a new game. Thanks for checking

      • Trigger Hippie

        Codey-no-worky

      • The Hyperbole

        Hmm I copy/pasted it here from there,

        I guess I should quit trying to be clever and just usen 1234n or something.

        And that the site doesn’t allow the person who created a game to go back and change passwords and reliability requirments is very annoying.

        Give me minute and I’ll start one with a simple code.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Gracias.

        I may have have add an extra o to the to or fucked up the spacing on the last one.

      • Lackadaisical

        That actually worked.

      • Raven Nation

        That’s some quality snark right there.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Thank you

  12. Shpip

    Florida Man owns Florida Bird, comes to the attention of the authorities.

    The bird (known for its lovely plumage) was reportedly “stunned” after the encounter.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) has delayed sending the articles of impeachment accusing Trump of abusing his power and obstructing Congress to the Senate over questions about the fairness of a trial in the GOP-controlled upper chamber, which is widely expected to acquit Trump.

    You want to allow him to present a defense? That’s not fair!

    • leon

      Congress to the Senate over questions about the fairness of a trial in the GOP-controlled upper chamber,

      Is there a word for people who blame other people when the get themselves stuck in completely foreseeable problems?

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “Hey, the Senate gets to run their own chamber? That’s not fair!”

      Democrats should try winning more elections if they want to dictate how the Senate operates. Or just remain a regional party, because that’s working out well.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      How do Glibs feel about the two claims of ‘no crime, no impeachment’ (lack of citation(s) to statute(s) so people can look up language duly passed into law of the allegedly violated statute(s)) and ‘no papers, no impeachment’ (refusal to deliver to US Senate)?

      Should Mitch McConnell participate in pre-trial stuff if the impeachment/alleged impeachment is not an impeachment?

      • R C Dean

        I’ve been on the fence, but without doing some more research I think that the Founders probably understood “misdemeanor” to mean something more like “malfeasance”, as misdemeanors weren’t necessarily crimes at the time. The language is taken from the English Parliament, and I think (again, some research would be helpful here) they occasionally impeached their members for things that weren’t actually crimes at the time.

        That said, impeaching somebody for a non-crime is likely to be widely viewed as illegitimate. Given the scope of our federal criminal statutes these days, there’s an argument to be made that something that isn’t a crime these days probably doesn’t rise to the level of “high crimes and misdemeanors”. The Senate, which has the sole power of removal, could certainly say that it does not regard a non-crime as an impeachable offense.

        He’s impeached. The Constitution does not require any kind of “transmittal” to the Senate. That’s something they do with legislation (which this isn’t). It sounds like the Senate may need some kind of rule change to take it up without a formal transmittal, but that’s just Senate rules.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        In the immediate aftermath of impeachment vote, CNN poll claimed “45 percent support impeachment and removal, 47 percent are opposed.” and “POLITICO/Morning Consult poll” claimed “The narrow majority who approve, 52 percent, is greater than the 43 percent who disapprove of the House voting to impeach Trump, the poll shows. Five percent of voters have no opinion on Trump’s impeachment.”

        How many of those opposed also consider it illegitimate was not reported. But presumably those who support using this process as a tool to remove President Donald J. Trump from office either consider it legitimate or do not care. With the caveat that these polls are accurate.

      • Florida Man

        I don’t know what the law says, but if the house is running around saying “Trump is impeached” then it should be sent to the senate for trial. I have issues with saying he is impeached and not sending the articles up.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thank you for your reply. And apparently you are not alone siding with ‘no papers, no impeachment’

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Trails are supposed to be fair for the defendant.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Trails are supposed to be fair for the defendant.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Trials too. I feels so strongly about it, I had to post it twice.

  14. UnCivilServant

    Am I the only one thrown by the “Show Password” button added to the wordpress login screen?

    By habit I try to activate the checkbox for ‘Keep Me Logged in;, but since I’m on already typing, my muscle memory was ‘hit tab, hit space, hit tab, hit enter’ after typing the password. With another tab stop, I’ve been stumbling.

    • Warty

      I’m sorry you’re going through this

      • leon

        I was going to type the same thing….

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s just curiousity. Programmers have an inability to not mess with UIs, and the impact on workflow is something I notice.

        What use case is making the password visible a good idea?

      • leon

        people who can’t type their password correctly.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I not gud tipur, me not able entr pas3wrd wifout musteak.

      • kbolino

        What use case is making the password visible a good idea?

        That one’s easy. The minimum password length keeps getting longer to keep passwords secure, proper security practice says to lock people out for a while after a few wrong password attempts, and of course the dubious utility of hiding the password in the first place (how often are you typing passwords in front of an audience?)

        The real question is, why did they roll their own instead of pushing browser vendors to do it.

    • Playa Manhattan

      Thoughts and prayers

      • UnCivilServant

        What other features are in the new release of wordpress?

      • Florida Man

        Automatic thoughts and prayers?

    • Nephilium

      It’s fouled me up a couple times as well.

      But then I remember I work in Cisco software, where tab stops aren’t ordered, and there’s three different interfaces for different user components, and I relax.

      • UnCivilServant

        If I were logging in more often, I’d adapt quicker, but checking the “keep me logged in” box is specifically to avoid having to keep logging in.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, it should say “Keep Me Logged in for Two Weeks” or whatever it is.

      • pan fried wylie

        “Keep me logged in slightly shorter than the span between morning and evening links”, seems sometimes.

  15. Rebel Scum

    “It is a con game by the Dems to help with the Election!” Trump alleged.

    “This was not what the Founders had in mind!” Trump later wrote, noting that the Democratic-controlled House voted to impeach him last month without any Republican support.

    Well, they don’t them to have an actual platform other than “orange man bad”.

    • Lackadaisical

      “It is a con game by the Dems to help with the Election!” Trump alleged.

      Trump went on to claim, without evidence, ‘The sky is blue’.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    At this point, I want Pelosi to personally present a bound edition of the Articles of Impeachment to McConnell, so he can stamp “BULLSHIT” on it in big red letters and hand it right back.

    • Ted S.

      Ah yes, the days of the Democrats having a press conference to declare Reagan’s budget dead on arrival.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Is there a word for people who blame other people when the get themselves stuck in completely foreseeable problems?

    Something something STOP DIGGING

  18. Shpip

    Florida Man keeps Florida Bird as pet. Predictably, they come to the attention of the local police.

    The bird (known for its lovely plumage) was reportedly “stunned” about the encounter.

  19. Rebel Scum

    I wonder what the DNC has on the Judge.

    Referring to emails from White House officials to Pentagon officials, Napolitano said, “If I were a Democrat in the House, I would be moving to re-open the impeachment on the basis of the newly-acquired evidence, these new emails of people getting instructions directly from the president to hold up on the sending of the funds. That would justify holding onto the articles of impeachment because there’s new evidence and perhaps new articles.”

    • leon

      If I were a Democrat in the House, I would be moving to re-open the impeachment on the basis of the newly-acquired evidence,

      I tend to give Andrew Napolitono a pass, but that makes no sense. “re-open” the Impeachment? they could draft new articles or you know, actually present evidence at a trial…

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I agree. I give Napolitano a break, because he was right on fever dreams and then promptly attacked by Kochatarians and their idols in the corporate press. He was right from the beginning and they were humiliatingly wrong (something that they should never live down). Maybe the judge just honestly believes that slowing add to Ukraine to expose corruption by Joe Biden is terrible. I think that’s stupid, but I suspect he doesn’t believe that entirely

      • R C Dean

        Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), one of Trump’s foremost allies in Congress, on Sunday said he would push for a change of rules in the Senate to allow for the trial to move forward immediately if the upper chamber does not receive the articles by the end of the week.

        I suspect that would take a majority vote. Interesting procedural/test vote. Looking forward to Romney’s “I was against removal before I was for removal” moment.

      • Lackadaisical

        Looking forward to Romney’s “I was against removal before I was for removal” moment.

        Meh, thats easy.

        We have to follow the proper protocol, once Nancy tells me what to do, I will do it… blah blah.

    • Florida Man

      I’m sure his agent is advising him on what gets paid.

      • grrizzly

        Just wait until ISIS starts its own news channel.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Before or after they start their own streaming service? 🙂
        (If you don’t get it, see the opening monologue to the recent 77th Golden Globe Awards.)

      • grrizzly

        At least two of us watched it.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. Building castles in the sky.

        Have you found a version that does not mute the two sections of the opening monologue someone considers not suitable for public consumption?

    • Raven Nation

      Injun, I believe.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Something Indian?

      • leon

        First thing i found under “Downfall Roby late with PM links”

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah, I just searched for Robby late with pm links.

    • Chafed

      I had no idea Glibs was on Twitter.

  20. Rebel Scum

    The hearings will continue until we vanquish bad orange man.

    “I think there should be open hearings on this subject,” Schiff told the Washington Post in an interview published Monday. “The president has put us on a path where we may be at war with Iran. That requires the Congress to fully engage.”

    Asked for his thoughts on President Trump warning Iran that the U.S. will hit 52 sites, including cultural sites, if Tehran retaliates the California Democrat said: “None of that could come out of the Pentagon. Absolutely no way.”

    • peachy rex

      Does bitching about Trump greasing a terrorist – I mean “austere religious scholar”/”revered war hero” – really play that well in Peoria? Or are the Dems off their meds again?

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t think this is earning them any points with living voters.

      • kinnath

        When I get a chance, I walk through the factory. I’ll stop by some of the work stations where the 50-something union workers have photos of their sons and daughters in the uniforms of the various branches of the US armed services. I’ll ask if they’re happy with the modern democratic party.

        Or maybe not.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Welp, that is all I needed to hear. Case closed.

      When has Schiff ever said anything in the media that hasn’t turned out to be 1000% true?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Strictly coincidental

    [Chelsea] Clinton, the only child of former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, has served on IAC’s board since 2011 and receives an annual $50,000 retainer and $250,000 worth of restricted IAC stock units, Barron’s reports.

    She reported owning $8.95 million worth of IAC stock to the Securities and Exchange Commission at the end of December.

    Barron’s notes that IAC’s stock has risen 89 percent, 50 percent and 36 percent in 2017, 2018 and 2019, respectively, a far steeper rise than the broader stock market.

    Clinton’s public profile has proved a valuable commodity.

    She earned an annual salary of $600,000 working as a special correspondent for NBC News in 2013 and part of 2014.

    Clinton was named to the board of Expedia Group in March of 2017, a position that typically earned $250,000 in 2015, according to a report at the time by The Guardian.

    Both IAC and Expedia are controlled by Barry Diller, the business and television mogul, who is a friend of Hillary Clinton.

    She’s an asset.

    • UnCivilServant

      If paying chelsea keeps hillary from having you killed…

    • Shpip

      She’s no doubt brilliant on her own. How else do you think she got into Stanford?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Something like Felicity Huffmann?

  22. R C Dean

    Damn, they shipped Qassem Soleimani’s body back coach.

    Hey, he got the whole row to himself.

    I don’t know why the mullahs couldn’t send a military plane for him. Geez.

    • UnCivilServant

      You want to kill an Iranian Pilot too? I mean, their planes are not going to stay in the air very well.

    • grrizzly

      A ghetto upgrade.

  23. R C Dean

    Trump asked Zelensky to look into a debunked theory about Ukraine’s involvement in the 2016 hack of the Democratic National Committee

    Crowdstrike did the post-mortem on the hack. Crowdstrike is Ukrainian. There is no end of questions about their involvement and refusal to cooperate with the feds. What, exactly, has been debunked?

    • leon

      It’s more than that. The Ukrainian Government offered a lot to help. This is known and was aknowledged until it was no longer good optics to acknowledge it.

    • The Hyperbole
      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Imagine citing Wired as a legitimate news source

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        All I’m saying is that the talking points need to be hammered out, because Comey and Clapper seem to believe that the DNC never gave them the server.

        https://thehill.com/policy/national-security/313555-comey-fbi-did-request-access-to-hacked-dnc-servers

        https://www.cnn.com/2017/01/05/politics/fbi-russia-hacking-dnc-crowdstrike/index.html

        Of course, now this is inconvenient, so all I ask is that propagandists get their script straight before propagandizing.

      • The Hyperbole

        Is something they wrote there wrong?

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        The notion that anything was given to the FBI beyond Crowdstrike’s own conclusions. That is a new invention that we are all suppose to believe when just the opposite was reported at the beginning of Fever Dreams.

        https://thehill.com/policy/national-security/312767-fbi-never-examined-hacked-dnc-servers-report

        Now, to be fair, Wired and the corporate press have been so right on so much of Russia Fever Dreams that it seems silly to point out the obvious contradiction that they are pushing here.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        In a lot of ways, the willingness of many people to have such blind allegiance to the reporting of outlets who were hysterically wrong for the past three years is similar to a wife going back to her husband who beats her.

        I assure you he doesn’t love you and he’s lying to you again.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m no computer nerd (or any kind of nerd for that matter) so I don’t know exactly what a forensic copy of a server is and how easily it could be altered tampered with etc. But once you get to that level of paranoia how can you trust anything, if the DNC did give the FBI their ‘servers’ and they came up ‘Russia’ the tin foil crowd would still be claiming that they weren’t the real servers or something. Believing too much and dismissing everything can be different sides of the same coin.

      • UnCivilServant

        A proper forensic copy is a bitwise copy of the data on the drives made by tools other than the OS on the system. Basically it’s done without anything writing to the disk that might compromise the data.

        You can change anything on it because it’s just data, so you need extra careful chain of custody and recordkeeping if you’re working in an official capacity.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        And in almost every case, no security analyst would want to or need to examine the servers themselves. If you got a u-haul and took it to Moe’s Discount Data Analytics and told him you don’t need it for a legal reason you just want to know if your kid accessed your data, the first thing Moe would do is take an image so that he can work with it.

        Its like saying a radiologist ever examined you because all they did was look at your x-rays.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Just so I understand, the kooky person who says “gee, it’s weird how the press is reporting something completely different from what they did a mere three years ago, because what they previously reported is inconvenient to their new narrative”.

        You must have really bought into Putin under your bed paranoia for the past three years

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Well, I’m just comforted by the fact that “muh..Russia” didn’t require any verification by the FBI, since the articles for the past three years have said nothing about a copy of anything, just a conclusion by Crowdstrike.

        And why should anyone even question any of this? Everything about Fever Dreams has borne out. It’s not like we know now that a whole industry was lying about every part of that investigation or anything

      • kbolino

        Belief would be a lot less important if this played out like it would have before a few years ago. The entire contents would have been dumped somewhere and everybody and their brother would get a look. Now it’s all closed doors, no leaks of content (only “anonymous sources” bullshit), and wink-and-nudge.

        It is designed to foster conspiracy theories, or at least it would be if any of the people involved had 2 brain cells to rub together.

      • R C Dean

        It does seem difficult to reconcile the Wired report and what Comey and Clapper said. Now, they are notorious liars, and its possible that the FBI got the images of the servers very recently, so who the hell knows?

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Wired only said that Crowdstrike handed over the forensic evidence (aka their conclusions), not the server or the image of the server. They are deliberately using fuzzy language.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        forensic evidence (aka their conclusions)

        No, that’s what those words mean.

        Forensic evidence would be the disk image, a pointer to a publicly published hash of the image, and the log-book recording chain of custody, along with the evidence to support the conclusions, if we are using standard language.

      • kbolino

        Forensic evidence would be all those things, back when Wired was written by people who knew what they were doing. That was before they sold out, so we’re talking probably 8 years ago.

      • R C Dean

        Where did I get the idea they were Ukrainian, or at least Ukrainian-linked? Because I quick Google doesn’t really support it, other than the usual “reveal the network” thing.

      • leon

        The Russians hacked your memories!

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Crowdstrike was mentioned in The Phone Call according to the White House document.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I have to admit that I thought I found it in Alperovich’s bio, either on the Crowdstrike site or on the Wikipedia about a year ago. However I can’t find it now and I can’t find it in the Wayback Machine. It bothers me that either I was fooled into believing it, or that it has been scrubbed.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        That said, it’s still possible that Crowdstrike has contractors in Ukraine. My company does.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Would you be surprised to learn that literally nothing has been “debunked” about Ukraine’s involvement in the 2016 election?

      I mean the Ukrainian ambassador literally wrote an OpEd in the WSJ during the general election denouncing Trump. And that’s not normal.

      But, surely there is an article explaining how thoroughly debunked this is, right? Perhaps it’s filed away with all that solid reporting showing the legitimacy of fever dreams. It’s not like the corporate press is propaganda or anything

  24. Count Potato

    “Dear How to Do It: I’m the kind of woman who turns heads on the street. Why do guys disappear on me after sex?”

    https://twitter.com/Slate/status/1214265825638670338

    “Dear How to Do It,

    Recently, I went on a few dates with a man who repeatedly shared with me that he finds me gorgeous and is very impressed with my career, and I thought he was a great guy himself. I gave him head and he came in my mouth, which afterward he said hasn’t happened to him in five years. It was “maybe the best head of his life.” Dude never texts me after that night. I didn’t text him either because I had initiated our last date. I’m being sexually rejected all the time and I am a very, very attractive woman. I have an hourglass body, exercise all the time, and have a career in mechanical engineering. When I look at who swiped on me on dating apps, the feed is practically infinite. When I walk down the street, I turn heads.

    Thus, I can confirm I am cute as a button to the majority of people in the metropolis I live in, and yet I have a really hard time being pursued. I will meet a guy, and things fizzle quickly. Dudes who know I’m single and horny have my number and don’t initiate plans with me, or cancel if I initiate. I am OK with casually dating and friends with benefits because I’m busy. I worry that since I am being ghosted often and have been flat out sexually rejected, too (I won’t tell that sad story), I am becoming desperate. Can they smell the desperation? What do you think: Is 2020 the year I masturbate myself into oblivion and take a break? Or am I just an arrogant asshole because I’m hot? If it’s the latter, help. Because it’s hard to separate being a hot chick from dating. ”

    https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/men-do-not-text-after-sex-advice.html

    • Mojeaux

      Be a hot chick who says “no.”

      Right now, you’re just a participation trophy.

    • Florida Man

      Maybe she is lame in the sack or really annoying or is constantly talking about how amazing she is, idk, could be anything.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        ^^THIS. What she needs is one good, insightful friend (who isn’t afraid of hurting her feelings) to tell her why just about every guy she meets just isn’t that into her.

      • peachy rex

        A person who is honest with themselves would write that letter, read it, shake their head in horrified disbelief, delete it, and then go become someone very different.

        This person? Well…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If she lets me jizz in her mouth I promise to stay the night and cuddle. No kissing though…

      • Fourscore

        She didn’t swallow, that cost her some extra points.

    • Pan Zagloba

      I propose the letter is fake Hollywood-style “based on a true story”, either made up by the writer or whoever sent it in.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Pfffftttt…

      Bullshit

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        No way. I knew person exactly like this. Her inability to calibrate her opinion of herself based on observation of other people’s reaction to her was impressive.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Not as impressive as the stiletto heals she drove into sod, but impressive.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I suppose it’s possible.

        But most guys are gluttons for punishment.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        Well, if she thinks she’s super hot, she thinks she’s above the crazy/hot line.

        If she’s built like a lumberjack and think that’s “hourglass”, then she is in fact below the crazy/hot line, and thus confused.

        or its bullshit.

    • Creosote Achilles

      Perhaps she could use some of the advice my dad gave me:

      “Son, no matter how hot she is, some man, some where, is sick of her shit. You remember that.” *wags screwdriver, then wipes it off with a rag and puts it back where it belongs in the tool box*

      • Mojeaux

        “How many times did I tell you not to stick your cod in madwomen? How many times did I tell you that no matter how beautiful a woman is, someone, somewhere, is tired of her nonsense? How many times did I warn you away from her? But nooo,” he mocked. “You were in loooove.”

        I made it sound as medieval as I could.

      • Creosote Achilles

        Hahahaha. That is awesome.

    • wdalasio

      Well, have you considered the possibility that guys might be turned off by the fact that you’re the sort of woman who writes in to Slate about her love life?

  25. Winston

    https://twitchy.com/sarahd-313035/2020/01/06/hes-back-guess-whos-reportedly-going-to-try-his-luck-running-for-president-as-a-libertarian-party-candidate/

    Ex-Republican and ex-Democrat Pol running LP.

    “I’m looking forward to having a conversation with members of the Libertarian Party and the American people about fiscal responsibility, protecting our personal freedoms, and ending these needless and costly wars,” Chafee said in a statement.

    Uh huh. Wasn’t Chafee one of those Moderate Republicans who was opposed to fiscal responsibility? Also isn’t Chafee (and Weld) the literal embodiment of White Privilege in America?

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Chafee is also a gun grabber and never saw a war he didn’t love. So, to be fair, judging by the LP’s past three nominees he’s libertarian-y af (in which “libertarian” is defined as “unprincipled coward”).

      • Florida Man

        I’m happy with my decision to cut ties with the LP.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You have to consider electability though. I mean, it’ll be a cold day in hell before a Libertarian Party candidate wins a national election here but you have to consider that for some reason. Until they start putting forward passionate people who believe in libertarianism they are going to be a sad laughingstock that only attracts liberal Republicans who can’t bring themselves to vote for the Dems.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        When you say electability, do you mean old, out of touch, people with no build-in constituency or charisma?

  26. Shpip

    Florida Bird has a prolonged squawk, comes to the attention of the local authorities.

    The bird (known for its lovely plumage) was reportedly “stunned” over the encounter.

  27. Pope Jimbo

    With my loser aura, I’m sure I’d be stuck a couple of rows behind the coffin. And it would take forever for him to get his oversized suicide vest down out of the overhead and all the while I’d be stuck waiting for him to get his shit together.

    • Fourscore

      Home run, Jimbo. You really got that “Know Thyself” down or just bragging.

    • Winston

      Where’s my vampire repellent?

    • Mojeaux

      I don’t resent or envy Gwyneth Paltrow in any way, nor am I any kind of fan, but somehow, she provokes vague cringe in me. I feel…embarrassed for her.

      • Tres Cool

        Kinda like hearing, “Im not mad. But Im just…disappointed.” ?

      • Mojeaux

        More like watching someone punk themselves from afar and grimacing, then turning away to respect their privacy.

      • Tulip

        Exactly. She’s very pretty, but seems completely uninteresting. If anything, I feel sorry for her.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, she’s very pretty, but there is also nothing particularly remarkable about her. She would never have gotten anywhere in Hollywood if she weren’t Hollywood royalty.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Cecil B. DeMille couldn’t find enough extras.

  28. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/not-losing-sight-of-the-classical-liberal-ideal/

    Today, the media and a variety of more serious public policy publications are awash in articles and essays insisting that the postwar “neoliberal” era has finally and inescapably come to an end, with a far more “progressive” and socialist system the way of the future. Planetary problems and domestic income inequalities and other social injustices require and demand nothing less than the more direct and guiding hand of government over social and economic affairs for the betterment of humankind, it is argued. “Liberalism” and relatively competitive markets have had their day, its critics insist.

    Interesting that he wrote this yet he and the AIER love “modernity”. What is this “modernity” exactly? A majority of what the masses like Right Now? A majority of what the elites like Right Now? Or just things Ebeling likes?

    • Winston

      Professor Cowen rang in the 2020 New Year with a blog contribution on, “What Libertarianism Has Become and Will Become – State Capacity Libertarianism.” The gist of his argument is that classical liberalism and libertarianism are out-of-date and passé political philosophies that had their relevance and significance in the 19th century for advancing the cause of personal liberty and freer markets, and during the first half of the 20th century as an argument against radical socialist central planning. But society and its problems have moved on and what people want from their government has become more expansive.

      So the future of libertarianism according to Cowen to become an even less libertarian Republican. And yes I am aware exactly how libertarian the GOP is right now.

      That explains the LP though…

      So, are we back to the argument that it isn’t the government interventions that are a problem, it’s just that the “right people” were not elected and put in charge to get it right and better? Isn’t that the rationale we heard throughout the 20th century every time socialism failed somewhere in the world? It was just “bad people” in power, it was never the socialist idea, itself.

      Ah, so in the end….TOP MEN.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Cowen is a utilitarian.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Yep. Smart d00d nevertheless when he’s staying a little more in his wheelhouse.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Definitely smart and has good observations from time to time, but doesn’t come from a principled approach at all.

      • kbolino

        A utilitarian can still recognize the futility of having the same inept, bloated, corrupt government do the same things over and over again. But I guess that’s a different kind of utilitarian from the one who recognizes the futility of convincing the average person that government is not the answer to their problems. Or is that a cynic?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        “But society and its problems have moved on and what people want from their government has become more expansive.”

        To be fair, there is not much support at the ballot box (or even in LP ‘s manifesto) for truly less government spending or governance beyond the possible exception of a few hot button issues.

        However, based on anecdotal evidence, few who are confident that most of society agres with them would be willing to get rid of forcing people to pay for their pet ponies. Saying ‘You can have your government-run ____ if you or someone on your behalf is willing to pay for it.” …

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      STOP RESISTING!!!

      Stunned?? I believe this bird has shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!

  29. We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

    There’s not quite enough funky 21st-century nu-disco in this post for my tastes. Let me correct that now.

    • Mojeaux

      Well, that’s not bad. *clicks replay*

    • Gustave Lytton

      Funky disco? Sounds more like something from PBS mid 80’s.

      • Gustave Lytton

        PBS’ childrens’ shows of that era

      • Mojeaux

        The next song, “I Don’t Feel Like Dancing” is better, more disco-y. It is, however, very familiar.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I’ll agree to disagree.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I agree that you’re disagreeing.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re too agreeable.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        {shrug} It’s a fair cop.

      • Mojeaux

        I haz a confuze. Who’s dis/agreeing with whom?

      • Mojeaux

        “Orchestral movements from the ‘hood.”

        I just…

        That’s like peanut butter and pickles on cinnamon-roll buns.

      • Lackadaisical

        Ayup, that was a complete waste of those musicians’ time.

      • Mojeaux

        That symphonic reworking of heavy metal was a cute gimmick the first time. Metallica? I think? Not sure.

      • Rhywun

        Dark orchestral manoeuvres.

        I’ll see myself out…

      • Lackadaisical

        Like Transsiberian orchestra?

      • Mojeaux

        No, like putting a known heavy metal entity with an established catalog in front of a symphony orchestra to play that catalog re-scored for symphony.

        I don’t remember if Metallica was the first to do it, but this is from 1999.

        I don’t mean like Yngwie Malmsteen, who composed something specifically for orchestra.

        Or other rock acts that have an orchestra in the original arrangement.

        Aside: I think Yngwie Malmsteen is brilliant.

      • Mojeaux

        And then there’s Video Game Orchestra, which I think is totally cool.

        I found “Chrono Trigger” on Reddit in r/ifyoulikeblank.

      • Mojeaux

        Dark orchestral manoeuvres.

        I larfed.

      • Mojeaux

        As for Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I like a couple of their original-ish Christmas songs: “Christmas Eve Sarajevo” and “Wizards in Winter.”

        I hate “Christmas Canon,” but that could be overexposure to the original because it’s effing EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.

        Whatever I used to like wore thin after a couple of plays. Also, I saw them live and I didn’t like their reworkings of…much of anything.

        And I absolutely despise their “O Fortuna.” It just doesn’t have the (dare I say it) gravitas of any orchestra or percussion/chorale chamber. They can crank up the bass all they want and it’s still going to sound silly and childish.

      • Mojeaux

        “Chamber” Carmina Burana, where in this case, it’s all percussion and voice. No strings or wind.

      • Mojeaux

        😀

        I love disco, and I love that song.

      • Mojeaux

        *hangs head in shame*

        Totally missed that lob.

  30. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://thehill.com/policy/national-security/312767-fbi-never-examined-hacked-dnc-servers-report

    I posted this above, but I was re-reading this three year old article and stumbled upon this: “In a series of tweets this week, he accused intelligence officials of delaying a briefing until Friday in order to build a case against Russia — an allegation denied by other officials.”

    We know now from the IG report that that was in fact what the intelligence community was doing. They were in fact trying to coordinate linking the Trump campaign with the Russia menace. It’s amazing to realize three years after the fact.

    • R C Dean

      From the article:

      “Instead, the official said, the bureau and other agencies have relied on analysis done by the third-party security firm CrowdStrike, which investigated the breach for the DNC.

      . . . .

      Security experts widely derided a joint Homeland Security-FBI report released last week that purported to give technical indicators linking Russia to the breaches, calling it overly broad and “a mess.”

      CrowdStrike has gone much further in its published forensics analysis.

      That evidence is very strong, outside experts say.”

      The only way this makes sense is if CrowdStrike told the feds one thing, and then published something completely different.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Century City was a lawyer-centric show that aired on CBS in 2004. Set in 2030 Los Angeles. Derided by lawyers at the time. By 2020 standards, Century City is far less unrealistic.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I quite liked that show. Didn’t last long. Shame.

        “We’ve had some work done.” IIRC, the best line from the first episode.

  31. JD is Unemployed

    I don’t get a good night’s sleep unless I blast some decongestant up my nostrils, but I hardly ever do that because it’s easy to overdo it at which point it won’t work anymore. I think CPAP might be the way to go, and losing weight. Definitely losing weight. Can one’s nasal passages get fat?

    • A Leap at the Wheel

      Yes. Get the sleep study. Getting a diagnosis for sleep apnea and using a CPAP changed my life. Go make the appointment today.

      • R C Dean

        Same here. And yes, being overweight contributes to apnea.

      • robc

        My wife started using one in November. Immediate difference.

    • Florida Man

      You don’t have to be overweight to have sleep apnea. Definitely get a sleep study and if my uncles and dad are to be believed, CPAP will change your life.

    • Spudalicious

      I once knew a guy who was addicted to Afrin. He would go through eight bottles a day.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        My brother was addicted to Otrivin (xylometazoline HCL 0.1%) drops when he was a teenager. I still use Otrivin spray from time-to-time — other topical decongestants just don’t seem to work for me. I also knew a kid in high school who was addicted to Visine.

        Weird shit.

      • Count Potato

        That’s a lot of fucking Afrin.

      • Spudalicious

        No kidding. He had to go to rehab.

      • Count Potato

        “So what are you here for?”

        “Heroin, you?”

        “Afrin.”

    • Mojeaux

      I had sleep apnea some many pounds ago. After some many pounds were gone, I no longer had sleep apnea.

      My husband has a whole CPAP saga. The upshot is that he feels better the next day WHEN he uses it. Take that as you will.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wish I could get the mailing list for Sanders’ donors so I could fleece them. They’re giving away money to an 80 year old man who wouldn’t be allowed the nomination even if he won and he just had a coronary for God’s sake. I’m sure I could sell them some money tree seeds or something.

    • Spudalicious

      Retarded.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Is it male or female?

    • Mojeaux

      I was feeling pretty awful about myself until you posted this. I feel MUCH better now. Thank you!

    • Drake

      They are literally the disposable pawns of the Left.

    • Pine_Tree

      I can’t help but look at pix like that and (even though I should know better) wonder something curmudgeonly like “How do these people make a living?” Surely they can’t all be trust-fund-babies. Students living on loans that they want me to pay for them? What?

      • Rhywun

        Hipster bookstores and cafes.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Meth manufacturing and distribution.

      • Florida Man

        You rang?

      • Rhywun

        Sure, on the side.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Left-wing political activism has long been the sole purview of rich kids.

        Poor kids join street gangs, rich kids join antifa.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        To be fair, poor kids also join the military

    • Lackadaisical

      When you start not just looking like the joker, but acting like him too, maybe you should reconsider your path in life.

    • Florida Man

      Why would you go home with some rando? I mean anyone…ever.

      • Rhywun

        Sociopaths can be very convincing.

      • Florida Man

        You’ve convinced me. Let’s get out of here. Do you have anything to drink?

      • Rhywun

        Hah I am whatever the complete opposite of a sociopath is.

      • The Hyperbole

        Pistachio? oh wait that’s an anagram.

      • Mad Scientist

        An antisociopath?

      • Florida Man

        Maybe I should be mixing the drinks then.

      • Tres Cool

        Starting fluid- Consent-in-a-Can

      • Rhywun

        I’ve been fooled by a couple of them in my life. Not to the point of waking up in a strange bed, thank goodness.

      • Mojeaux

        I got to where I was wary of men who were a little too charismatic.

        *adjusts tinfoil hat*

      • Trigger Hippie

        Empapath?

      • kbolino

        That, and he’s not bad looking. Some sweet talk and good looks can go a long way, gay or straight.

      • Lackadaisical

        Huh.

        I have very different standards, but then guys aren’t my thing. He does look non-threatening though.

      • Rhywun

        I’d hit it if he wasn’t a flaming queen or anything. And got a better pair of specs.

      • Rhywun

        The two I mentioned above were both very good looking and extremely charming. An old roommate of mine dated one for awhile – she was a total knockout. There’s something about the type where sure, they don’t have normal feelings but they’ve figured out how to “be attractive”.

      • grrizzly

        To have sex, naturally. Who wouldn’t?

    • Spudalicious

      I pretty sure he’s about to turn into a catcher.

      • kbolino

        I don’t know if British prisons are as rapey as their American counterparts. For once, that would be an oddly fitting punishment. Although, I think a jury should decide that directly (40 lashings, and 20 rapes).

      • kbolino

        Jesus, I did not really realize it was 136 rapes. Make my punishment above applied for each.

    • grrizzly

      Did he make every single victim unconscious first? Because he is not built like STEVE SMITH.

      • Rhywun

        Yes. The last one woke up in the middle of it and started beating the shit out of him.