This story is set in the same world as “Beyond the Edge of the Map.” The narrator is Kord FitzHelen von Zesrin, the third son of Dug FitzHelen. Kord FitzHelen was named for Kord Grosz von Karststadt. At this point, the younger Kord does not hold any substantive titles, but due to his blood ties, is styled as a Graf. Kord is entitled to the form of address of ‘Illustrius Highness’, slightly lower than ‘Serene Highess’ which is reserved for the highest levels of Imperial nobility save those of the current Imperial family.
Prior to this story, Kord FitzHelen studied Natural Philosophy at the University of Karststadt before becoming a wandering adventurer, getting involved in war and dragonslaying. This story is not about any of that. It is about finance and politics. There are five parts.
And now: Banker of Stirnberg, Part 1 –
The post of Imperial Cofferer was one that should have been eliminated and the duties given to the treasurer. It was a court appointment whose sole duty was to make sure that the menial servants of the Imperial Palace got paid each month. It took at most one or two days, and the servants made sure to seek the Cofferer out to get their proper remuneration. The expurgation of the post would be greeted with great lament by the courtiers, who used such virtual sinecures to advance themselves and worm their way into the proper circles at court. I shouldn’t be surprised that many had paid another to perform the actual duties of the office. The ledger was riddled with errors, and payments to people who either didn’t exist, or didn’t work at the palace. Being a stickler for the official pay rates and accurate accounting made me unpopular among the servants. So, I avoided taking meals at the palace when I could.
Stirnberg was a city split in twain. Not for geographical reasons, but due to the arrogance of a previous emperor. Otto IV had been convinced he’d locked in the crown for his family indefinitely, and gave half of the city to the Imperial dominion so he could more freely build his palace. He had instead so alienated the electors that it was a century and a half before one of his descendants was on the throne – as a Hackenhof. His direct heirs never regained the post. Later Emperors walled off the Imperial District from the neighborhoods outside their direct control. Gunther Zweitzer von Stirnberg lived on the other side of the wall from the Imperial Palace, and down the road from me. If a mile and a half counted as down the road. The house was far enough away that I could pretend not to have to deal with the court, courtiers, and any servants annoyed that I’d quashed the payroll fraud. It was not far enough away that the Herzog Zweitzer’s agent didn’t keep stopping by to ask for loans.
I had planned to use the room as a library, but instead it had been overrun by ledgers, folios of bills of exchange, duplicate copies of contracts, and a bevy of other records. The two safes were there to keep the hard currency I occasionally had to deal with. Fed up with using the top of the metal boxes as a writing surface, I’d had a desk built around them. It looked much more professional as I filled out yet another set of papers indicating that we were willing to loan Gunther another thousand marks. Several would go into my records, one would go into von Stirnberg’s records, and one was the actual bill of exchange. This last sheet got a blob of ocher hued wax into which I pressed a seal, then signed my name beside it. I handed the pages for Gunther to the red-haired young man.
“Thank you, your Illustrious Highness,” he said, giving a slight bow. I kept my countenance as stony as I could muster. He didn’t mean it to mock me. He was simply steeped in court etiquette, and that was the proper form of address for me. Their employers might mock my family’s mercantile and moneylending activities, but the agents sent to borrow money never did. I got stuck actually handling the transactions, just because I was in Stirnberg, and so was everyone clustering around the court. I wouldn’t put it past my mother to have wrangled my appointment as Imperial Cofferer to engineer exactly this situation. So rather than focus on my studies, I spent my time chasing debts and recording payments. As Zweitzer’s agent left, I filed away my copies of the paperwork.
“Is this the Academy Bursar’s Annex?” The man in the doorway wore a green cassock with jade buttons and a chain of green-enameled roundels about his neck. A rectangular plaque hung on the chain, and would likely identify him as a journeyman wizard of the Jade Tower.
“We hold the Bursar’s Concession for the Zhalskrag Academy in Stirnberg,” I said. It was a line of business I would love to dump. It was profitable, but it meant we had wizards wandering in all the time looking to draw funds from their accounts. There were a lot of wizards in Stirnberg because there were a lot of nobles orbiting the Imperial Court, and noble houses were the prime employers of wizards. Since their pay was handled through the academy, it only made sense to have someone in the city to handle requests for funds. I didn’t care if we were paid three percent of the disbursement values for handling the transactions. It was another thing keeping me from what I actually wanted to be doing. The ledgers for the Academy work were the most meticulous, and never sat far from my desk. I sat down and looked at the dark-haired man. His plain features were entirely forgettable.
“I would like to withdraw some funds.”
“Name?”
“Walther Nussenbaum.” Out of habit, I glanced at the plaque, and it agreed with his claim. Pulling the appropriate ledger off the shelf, I flipped to the pages containing his information. It ended with an annotation in my own hand.
“It says here that you’ve already taken out more than you have. The reconciliation from the Academy has you at sixty groats in the red.” Nussenbaum began to shift nervously from foot to foot as I put the book down where he could see it. I tapped the last entry. “You have to pay either me or the Bursar’s back in Zhalskrag to get back to zero.” I left out the option of finding another annex or concession holder in a different city.
“But I need that money.”
“For what?”
“I’m being blackmailed.” His eyes went wide, and his face paled as he realized he’d spoken aloud. In his lost expression, I could see the churning of mental gears. “No, no, forget I said anything, I’ll find a way to repay the debt.”
“If that’s what you want, but I have to warn you that the concession contract requires that I report anyone I suspect of attempting to defraud the Academy.”
“I-”
“This could be an honest mistake, or an effort to withdraw from as many annexes as possible before the records reconcile. How hard have you been pushing your horses?”
“No, no. I mean- Look, I can explain.”
I interlaced my fingers and looked up at Nussenbaum. He reddened quite a bit. I was reminded of many a fellow student at the University forced to admit having done something stupid the night before. With the amount of time spent cloistered at the Academies, I suspect Wizards might be substantially more sheltered.
“Um, If I do tell you, you won’t accuse me of fraud to the Academy, right? I mean, it’s not like I didn’t plan to work it off.”
“That depends on what you have to say. So, please, continue.”
“It’s for Gertrude.”
“Who is Gertrude?” I asked.
“Well, um, one of the maids to my employer’s daughter. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. She’s a real nice girl, and the prettiest – but she’s only part of the reason I need the money.”
“Go on,” I said.
“Well, the daughter realized what I felt about her maid. Now she wants me to make her a potion, or she’ll ship poor Gertrude off to Badenburg so I won’t see her again.”
“If this is the daughter of your employer, shouldn’t they be covering the cost of the components?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s in debt up to his eyeballs, so there’s a no component policy. I mean, he’s started borrowing from the Von Zesrins to make payments to the Freinmarkt Mercers Guild and the Aurifex Group.”
“Who was your employer again?”
“Oh, no, I shouldn’t have said that. Please, I just need to deal with my own problem.”
I thumbed back a few pages in the Academy ledger. ‘Walther Nussenbaum, Journeyman of the Jade Tower, Court Wizard to Herzog Gunther Zweitzer von Stirnberg.’ I frowned. I’d just loaned him another thousand marks. If his debt was really that bad, how was I going to get paid back?
“So, um,” Nussenbaum said, “Are you going to accuse me of fraud? I really just needed to borrow some money. I plan to pay them back.”
“The Academy Bursar doesn’t provide lines of credit.”
“I know, I know, but…”
“How were you planning to repay the money you plan to borrow?” I asked.
“My stipend will be paid as long as I’m working any contract. It would eventually get the balance back up to zero.”
I reached over to the bookcase and removed another book from the Bursar. I flipped through until I found the page in question. I ran a few figures on a slate.
“There is a flaw in your plan.”
“What?” Nussenbaum asked.
“With the amount you are currently under, the fees for carrying a negative balance will be greater than the stipend for a Journeyman Wizard. You will not only fail to pay back the Academy, but go further into debt.”
“I… um… well, crap.”
I sighed. “Did you even know there were fees for negative balances?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I need to find more income. But I’m supposed to be on-hand most of the day.”
“Well, outside of the Academy concession, I represent my family as a moneylender. We can structure a small loan to bring your balance out of the negative which your stipend would be able to repay.”
“You’d be willing to do that?”
“Not for free. But a small profit is still a profit.”
“I… see.”
“You do have the option of declining my offer and finding another solution.”
“I’m not entirely sure I’d be able to manage that.”
I interlaced my fingers and waited. Nussenbaum fretted for a moment or two.
“If you could make the loan enough to cover the remaining materials, I’d like to go with that.”
“How much do you need?” I asked. He named a sum and I drew up the papers.
“You’re Von Zesrin?” he asked, reading the terms.
“One of them – Kord FitzHelen von Zesrin.”
Though he looked uncomfortable, Nussenbaum signed the papers and accepted that share of the loan not going to repaying the Academy Bursar.
* * *
My sister had not been happy to find out I’d rented the lower four floors of the house in Stirnberg. But Annika never was happy with frugality. Even if the whole family were in town and had a full complement of servants, the top two floors were enough. I suspect she might have disliked the climb to reach our portion of the building. Except for the two days a month I executed my duties as Cofferer, the only time I came to court was as Annika’s chaperone. She was there to browse the marriage market, and I was there to make sure none of her potential suitors got any ideas. This gobbled up even more of my time, rendering those moments in the conservatory all the more precious. The conservatory sat upon the southern end of the roof, gleaning sunlight throughout the day. It housed the plants I was trying to cultivate and study, none of which were suited to the climate of Stirnberg. The first I had successfully grown was a crop of flame lilies.
Annika had been quite aghast when I’d matter-of-factly stated my intent to crush the plants. Sure, the flowers were striking, but I was trying to isolate the toxic component to develop an antidote. The flame lilies were far less toxic than some of the other plants, and I eventually let her use the flowers in a corsage, surrounded by white lilies. As long as no one ate the corsage, there was no risk. The blossoms contrasted with her red-ochre gown and its gold embroidery. I hated to think how much money had been spent on the jewelry dripping from her slight frame. The figure doubled when including the various pins and clasps holding her golden locks into the elaborate coiffure. Her hair glimmered with rubies and spinels as though she had some sort of head wound.
My own court attire was not much simpler. The underlying clothing consisted of boots, black trousers, and a thigh-length white coat. If it stopped there, I’d have been happy. Instead, there were four rows of buttons running up the front of the jacket. Gold braid ran horizontally across each line of buttonholes, forming an almost continuous decorative knot at each line. The buttons themselves were sardonyx cameos depicting the skewered dragon of the Order of Dragonslayers. This emblem was repeated on the buckle of my sword belt, the mantle clasp, and on the sash. The sash was crimson, embroidered in gold for both the trim and the symbol of the order. Just below the emblem, I’d pinned my jubilee medal. Topping it all off was the red-orange mantle of Cinderdrake hide. That beast had been big enough to make several mantles. As ‘mere dragonhide’ was somehow insufficient for courtly dress, this one was as overwrought as the rest of the outfit. Aside from the gold edging, it had been very diligently stitched with the griffins, globe, and star of my coat of arms.
Amidst this absurd attire, the jeweled hilts of my starmetal blades didn’t stand out. Most people at court were not permitted to wear actual swords, and arrived with decorated scabbards fitted with false hilts. The privilege of the Dragonslayer meant I could wear real weapons anywhere Imperial rule applied. So I wore them to court, extracting what little satisfaction I could from the act. That was not much, as I helped Annika down from the carriage and began forging a path through the scrum of would-be courtiers. Gaining admittance to the court was an opportunity for advancement and financial gain that drew a great many intellectuals and artists. They dressed like they belonged there, and tried to attach themselves to the entourages of those actually invited within. Standing half a head taller than the aspiring hangers-on, I barged through the noisy crowd. Wendel brought up the rear, bracketing Annika between two far more imposing figures. The dogman knew not to let anyone slip past the gates in our wake. Even if my face was unremarkable, in conjunction with my attire, Annika, and Wendel, the guards recognized me and opened the gilt-iron gates.
Footmen with lanterns lined the path through the geometric gardens to the doors of the south wing. The palace had been expanded many times, and the south wing had accumulated the least symbolic or ceremonial importance. Thus, it was used for the more ‘casual’ events. Though courtly casual was still steeped in stultifying formality. Freed from the crowd, I escorted my sister along the aisle of lantern bearers. The herald at the door greeted us with an elaborate bow before addressing those within.
“Announcing His Illustrious Highness, Graf Kord FitzHelen von Zesrin, Dragonslayer of the Order of Dragonslayers, and Imperial Cofferer; Escorting Her Illustrious Highness, Grafin Annika FitzHelen von Zesrin.” No mention was made of Wendel, but no valet was ever announced. Once past the threshold, Annika took the lead, and I followed in her wake, Wendel a stride behind me. The Lesser Ballroom was lesser only in the context of the palace. It was a massive chamber with a vaulted ceiling and soaring windows. Overwrought plasterwork decorated the buttresses and vaults, with allegorical murals filling the space in between. The floor was made from a variety of different stones, but the pattern was obscured by the skirts and shoes of the courtiers. Gilded lanterns filled the massive space with a soft glow. The light gleamed off the jewels decorating the occupants.
I chafed at the vapid pleasantries Annika exchanged with the other ladies, even as they glared with venomous envy. My sister was recognized as one of the great beauties at court. Something that smoothed over her parentage in the eyes of the men, but doubtless spurred scurrilous chatter among the women. They undoubtedly took delight in reminding each other that our father was born a bastard, and that we behaved like mere merchants and moneylenders. I had still financed half the gowns in the ballroom, and would be collecting payments on this courtly season for the rest of the year. Of course, a good chunk of the chattering ladies would never bother to inquire into their family finances as long as the fashionable pretty baubles kept coming.
“Announcing His Imperial Highness, Erbprinz Gustaf Hackenhof von Altschaft,” the herald called. Gustaf was dressed in crimson, though the gold embroidery and cloth of gold cape almost obscured the fact. His dark hair was short and neat, capping an unimpressive visage. He made up for his mediocre looks with a broad, welcoming smile and an approachable attitude. Though the grandson of Otto IX, he was not automatically in line for the Imperial throne. He was still an Imperial Prince, and even if he ended up as merely Herzog von Altschaft, that would still make him a wealthy man. It didn’t take long for Gustaf’s eyes to fall on Annika, and he made a beeline for where we were standing.
“My lady, has anyone asked you to dance?” Gustaf asked.
Seeing the glitter in my sister’s gaze, I refrained from pointing out that the music hadn’t started yet. Rationally, I knew Prince Gustaf was an excellent suitor for Annika, and chasing him off would not be greeted with gratitude. So I held my tongue.
“Not yet,” Annika said coyly. Prince Gustaf took her hand and led her away. Catty murmurs spread through the ladies who had cheerfully greeted Annika moments before.
* * *
Continued in Part 2
Zzzzz… *snort*
*jolts awake*
Looks like the story’s bored everyone else to sleep. I can safely go back to my nap now.
I’m still here. I like some palace intrigue and look forward to the rest.
If I’m reading the site correctly, it looks like the thursday lunch spot for the next four weeks.
Thanks for this series. Curious to read the next installment!
I think Kord talks to bankers.
*snort*
I have thoroughly enjoyed it, and look forward to the rest. Thank you for giving us this for free!
It may also show up in a book along with Kord’s other stories – if I ever get them finished.
The phonotactics in your fantasy names are giving my tongue fits, and I can (mostly) speak Welsh. Good job.
They are inspired by Ze Germans.
Ve haf ways of breaking your talk?
Ja – compound words.
Scheisse Porn?
I’m convinced there’s a German word for every idea conceived by the human mind. It may be eleven syllables long, but by golly they have a word for it.
Eleven syllables? That short?
Once during my previous job at an automotive engineering center, we had visitors from Mercedes-Benz. I took a call from someone at their home office insisting they had to speak to Dr. ThusUntZuch right away. Herr Doctor proceeded to tie up my phone for at least half an hour. I concluded that it takes longer to say anything in German than in most other languages, which would explain why Wagner’s operas are so long.
I’ve been filling the background noise quotient with documentaries from amazon prime. A lot of the history ones have interviews with german experts. The overdub takes less time than the original statement in every case. So the expert starts talking german… a few seconds pass while they’re talking… the overdub in english starts, they say what the expert has to say, the overdub finishes, and the expert keeps droning on in german for a while before the scene ends.
Our dog is gray
=
Watashitachi no inu ga nezumi iro desu.
Our dog is grey
=
Kutyánk szürke
Close!
私達の犬はぐグレイです。
watashi-tachi no inu ha gurei desu.
(I’ve never heard anyone use mouse colored describing a color.)
Under Hund ist grau.
Simple German is short. Anything past Run Spot Run gets increasingly more wordy.
ugh *Unser
Mouse grey.
Re- mouse grey
Yup, it’s in my Japanese dictionary as “dark grey”, I’ve just never heard it. OTH, I don’t hear English speaker use “mauve” every day, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t used.
Unser Hund, der im Müll ist
Considering it matches his avatar, I’m going to trust the rat on this one, 先生.
Наша собака — серая.
Ya know, if you’d like, I could do you a British guy audio version…
Because the only way to get me to read this drivel is to pay me! Hiyoooooo
No but seriously I’ve given it some thought and having met a couple of voice artists (?) that do commercials and such it sounds like a reasonable gig. The secret is booze and cigarettes to make husky the voice.
Can you sound convincingly German?
Vee have vays of makein zee sound german….
I can do an excellent Colonel Klink impression. I used it when I played Van Helsing.
Adaaaaaaaaahnnnnn!
DIS…..missed
I do a couple of accents. Of all foreign languages, German seems to be the one I pick up different accents in. I don’t know German well, just enough to get me around as a tourist (never been). I once had a speeding penalty and in the UK we get the option of taking a “speed awareness course” for around £100 (probably more now) instead of penalty points against your license, which was held at some inconveniently located facility at 6 am on a Sunday morning. It’s basically just being in detention for a few hours, but mine was actually kind of amusing because of the charismatic German guy conducting the course. There’s some joke in there about a charismatic German man holding people against their will for no good reason.
…as long as you werent expected to shower
We have those in the US too. Traffic School. You can only take it every 3 years or something like that.
I got pulled over once, the cop started discussing the traffic school option and I interrupted, “You can skip that part, I was there last month.”
“charismatic” and “German” in the same sentence.
Yeah, yeah, I know who else.
But still.
Well (((he))) was Austrian, but kartoffeln/tomaten.
Vielleicht.
UCS, have you drawn an actual map of the world you’ve created?
Also, thanks for sharing the story. ?
I have a mental map of the world.
Trying to get it on paper never seems to work though.
DUH!
That’s because paper is flat, and the world is a globe….
Well is it? Or is your world also flat?
It’s round. Dug will have circumnavigated it by the time his books wrap up (however many books that amounts to)
Round like a sphere or round like a cylinder?
Or, even better, a cone?
It should just be turtles all the way down.
There’s no need for more than one turtle so long as the turtle can fly.
Don’t be silly. The notion of a flying turtle is absurd. It’s clearly an infinite string of stacked vertical turtles.
At the very least is has a curved surface which permits stellar navigation on the outer northern side. That could be a tauroid for all I know, or an oblate spheroid, or some irregular shape in the south.
I, too, would like to see a map of this world. Hope at some point you can team up with an illustrator who can get your vision on paper to your satisfaction.
“No, that coastline doesn’t look right, bend it a little more this way. There needs to be space for a few more cities on that part. I don’t know what’s there just yet…”
The best thing about an archaic setting is that you can always hand-wave away any later ret-cons by saying the characters (or in this case, map-makers) just didn’t have sufficient knowledge to relay things accurately. Heck, IRL the earth wasn’t very accurately mapped until about a century and a half ago, so any pre-steam tech setting is excused in having wildly different and contradictory world maps.
Stupid, bitter-clingers.
Lee ? Carter
@carterforva
The “pro-gun” people that terrorized Richmond yesterday probably don’t realize that all they did was tag team with fascists, strengthen the liberals’ resolve to pass gun control bills, and force the most gun-friendly Dem (me) to not show up for a day.
Idiots. Absolute idiots.
Building bridges, winning hearts and minds.
And I can’t help but notice the irony of calling people fascists as you aim to fascistically disarm the population.
and force the most gun-friendly Dem (me) to not show up for a day.
If you are what “The Most Gun-Friendly” Dem looks like, i don’t think the gun rights people want to have you along.
Dangit.
They didn’t have much resolve to pass gun control bills until that rally happened.
Stupid rally.
They weren’t going to pass gun control, until a bunch of people peaceably assembled without incident. Then they *had* to do it, just to show them.
Still can’t believe they had the audacity to peacefully assemble like that. Nazis.
Yep. Bunch of Nazis, trying to force freedoms on everybody. How dare they.
To make matters worse, most of them were *gasp* white.
Lee ? Carter
@carterforva
Jan 21
Replying to
@carterforva
Leaving aside the racial implications of doing all that in a majority-black city of MLK day, which are massive and horrifying, they actively made it harder to achieve the thing they said they wanted.
I get the idea that this guy does not have my best interests at heart.
That doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. But hey, it got over 1,000 likes so it must be right.
Well, I just thought of a meme. Not sure how funny it is, but in the vein of “there’s no fighting in the war room”,
You can’t protest nonviolently today! Today is MLK Day!
Denying access to petition lawmakers and forbidding freedom of movement in a public space, both based on the color of skin? Where have I seen this movie before?
Of course, gun control has always been about keeping guns out of the hands of those icky black people.
the president must faithfully enforce the law – Nadless
True. And you are impeaching him for it.
And now he is pretending to care about freedom…while citing Hamilton, which seems to be a running theme.
Are you actually following the impeachment?
Nerd alert!
I’m morbidly curious.
Better than morbidly obese.
to take actions that are legal for reasons that are not
I don’t think that’s how it works.
https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-worried-impeachment-trial-may-force-them-to-work-grueling-30-hour-weeks
Cocaine Mitch seems more like a Matlock fan.
I just watched a bit of this on C-Span. I’m confused as to whom the Dems are doing this pontificating for. Are they actually trying to change some minds? …of Repub senators, their base, their on-the-fence constituents (assuming there are any), red voters…?
What I saw was booorrring.
It’s kindof difficult to listen to so much horseshit that is disingenuous at best.
He’s now arguing that “high crimes and misdemeanors” does not mean a statutory crime.
He keeps saying the same shit over and over. They wouldn’t have to keep doing these long-winded speeches repeating the same buzzwords over and over if they actually had a case. Everyone knows you technically can impeach the president for anything, but it is a very bad look to do so without an underlying criminal offense.
And I like this “abuse of power” bs. If he does something within his constitutional authority, such as pardon someone, that’s just the way it is. And that is subject to the same scrutiny as impeachment. For instance, it would be a very bad look to pardon a murderer.
Incredibly short sighted if he’s arguing that. Impeachment then just becomes another political arena. Me today, you tomorrow and all that.
Well, if every president gets impeached after the midterms, I’m not sure how much of an impact it would have unless the senate turned against them too.
These dumbasses never get it. They tore up filibustering and wonder why it can be used against them.
R’s are no different, just a different agenda.
They’re generating soundbytes for election season, and that is all they’re doing.
He really needs to stop citing that shrill, shrieking, hyper-emotional harpy that is an alleged constitutional scholar.
Obama?
*sensible chuckle*
No that chick that was afraid to walk on the same side of the street as Trump tower and, of course, is in no way too politically biased to offer a legitimate opinion.
Oh, right, the building is going to reach out and grab her
By the pussy, no less.
Gloria Allred considers herself a constitutional scholar?
Trump is the chief diplomat…but he must follow “official” US policy. . .
Yeah, official US policy is whatever the president says it is. The bureaucrats at State work for him, not the other way around.
interfering in the democratic process
I take this to mean interfering in the Democratic process because Trump’s success is thwarting the Democrats goal of total political domination.
“The conservative grip on the national news media is destroying the republic.” (not a direct quote but the general, slightly exaggerated idea)
I actually lol’d at that one.
Well, look who enjoys first person narrative.
I do find it easier to write in for a lot of stories.
I unfollowed and unfriended that stupid cunte who kept screaming about “fIrSt PeRsOn iS bAd WrItInG! ReEeEe”.
She thinks third person past tense is always right no matter what.
Fuck you.
I am tired of that bullshit.
I suddenly have an idea of a story that looks like it’s second person future tense, but ends up being just dialog with the person being addressed answering “No, I won’t.”
That sounds fun. And difficult.
yeah. I don’t think I’m going to drive myself batty for a single joke a lot of people won’t get.
The first person narrative is the solution to writing gay erotic scenes. I recall you were discussing it recently.
Well that was one of this chick’s complaints. She does not want to read a male pov in 1st person during a love scene to read how his junk feels. “That’s just too close for comfort.”
That’s your problem, bitch.
I’m delighted to see that Dug ultimately did well for himself and that at least one of his progeny hasn’t allowed that success to spoil him. Looking forward to the upcoming installments (and wishing they could be a “five-day special event” instead of just once a week.)
Dug did well financially, but was not a great father. He had a compulsion to explore that would lead Kord to say to him, “You were never there.”*
*This is in a story that has not been finished being written. I included it because it struck me as the logical end result of Dug’s personality.
Hey man, nice shot.
Cute kid.
She just went thru about 3 phases of puberty instantaneously. Her poor father.
Way off topic: just a heads up to certain Glibs who may be interested. Bob Mould interview and maybe some live music with Todd-o-phonic Todd upcoming Saturday @ 3pm on the fun 91: WFMU! Tune in on the WFMU app.
Great story. I look forward to reading the rest.
I have to keep poking fun at it, since the summary could be written as “Kord underwrote a loan and chaperoned his sister to a dance”
Most of my anxiety seems to stem from the fact that the yarn is entirely a character piece,
withoutwith hardly any action scenes. Which is strange, because I know I can do character and dialog.Maybe it’s because I don’t generally make works rest solely on character and dialog.
Most of my anxiety seems to stem from the fact that the yarn is entirely a character piece,
I find that I am becoming far more interested in seeing people being normal and hearing what they say than plodding through action scenes. Which is pretty much why I have given up on modern movies.
UCS, I will read carefully tonight.
I’ll check back for your opinion.
Your banker friend, does he give out small personal loans? Seems like Vinnie doesn’t think I’m, I mean my friend, is good for the little debt incurred last Sunday.
I’ll be good, I mean, my friend will be good for the loan after the SB, I’m sure. Wouldn’t hurt for you to ask.
Yeah, I have this friend named Vig …
At the eye doc. Soft contact lenses supposed to solve XX’s vision problems, but … no. *headdesk* I was so happy for about a month that the problem was solved. Now I am not.
Of course it’s never so simple.
Do they have any idea what will?
Our last resort is a pair of uberexpensive frameless glasses with just very tiny lenses which must be glass.
And I bet scratch resistant coating would mess up the refractive index too, right?
High index plastic and the coating were pointed to as the culprit for her problems as well as the thick edges of the lenses because they are so thick they bend light and produce rainbows.
The solution is teeny tiny lenses in glass.
So, they’re going to get scratched, and need replacing.
/cynical me.
Well, you could always go with corundum.
optical grade sapphire!
I go next week, seems like my glasses keep getting thicker and the road signs keep getting blurry, just to keep me from from driving. I don’t know why they put halos around the signs at night. They never used to do that.
I’m getting the eye strain that’s always the frist sign my prescription is old. If I wait too long it’ll be headaches too.
Problem is I hate the place that takes my insurance, and I don’t know if I want to (or can) pay out of pocket someplace nicer.
The place that takes my insurance, doesn’t have facilities on site for fitting lenses to frames, so it takes a few weeks before the glasses arrive. And the first pair I got from them had a donut shaped zone of tiny cracks right in front of the eyes where it had been crushed in a vice, presumably when grinding to shape for the frames. So it took me a month before I got a usable pair of glasses from them.
Mo, as a physician I make a a great plumber, but what’s the diagnosis of his condition?
Her. Sorry.
Astigmatism. They are not sitting on her eyeballs the right way. They are going to reorder with a turned axis. Apparently this is a 50% occurrence.
So, every other eye?
LOL
No. They only get it right on the first try 50% of the time.
Is it possible to correct the condition with surgery? Milady wife was somewhat astigmatic but surgery corrected the problem. A mild version of astigmatism came back after several years but she can wear normal glasses to handle it.
$$$$$
I knew I had astigmatism, but I didn’t know exactly how bad it was until I first used a red dot sight. Lasers are remarkable things.
I am counting on y’all to keep me updated on the impeachment. I can’t bear to watch it myself.
It seems they have more or less admitted that they want Trump gone because he is making good on his campaign promises. Apparently that is verboten in DC. Making empty promises and then looting the US taxpayer is SOP and no deviance is allowed.
I wonder what the reaction is going to be if they do manage to get him out.
I wonder what the reaction is going to be if they do manage to get him out.
In the current atmosphere? I’m guessing armed insurrection isn’t entirely out of the question.
They are literally re-litigating the 2016 election and still pushing the same muh-Russia bs narrative while accusing Trump/et al of being conspiracy theorists. It is quite astonishing.
It’s not possible for them to get him out.
The purpose of this is to influence public opinion for the election.
influence public opinion
Election meddling!
Ironically, that’s exactly what this is.
This. It’s all about ensuring that he’s tarnished enough to lose in 2020. Removal was out the window when they didn’t take the Senate in 2018
Except … thay is going to backfire dreadfully because they can’t get it through their thick skull why Joe Sixpack likes Trump or why the People of Walmart won’t vote the way they’re being told to.
I’m still on the fence as to the result. I think TDS is pernicious enough to spur on some additional D turnout. The question is whether there are enough people like me (didn’t vote in ’16, leaning toward voting Trump in’ 20) to balance it out.
I think it is going to have the opposite effect. They are ensuring that he wins in Nov.
They couldn’t make themselves look worse.
I still think it all depends on white suburban women and I don’t see their attitude changing. Trump will lose in November even if he cures cancer. Feel free to call me out in November if I’m wrong.
I don’t see how he can lose. The economy is great after 8 years of the dems doing their best to kill it.
He has kept most of his promises (the real crime) and the Ds are showing themselves to be incredibly mendacious.
We will see in November. I expect a landslide.
The only thing is polls still reveal he’s not all that popular, but they aren’t that far off from where Obama was before he won re-election.
Also, who is that popular? Biden. Slightly. That’s it. The media has done a great job of not covering all his dumb gaffes, but can it last when he’s the only candidate?
“Removal was out the window when they didn’t take the Senate in 2018”
It was out of the window if they did take the Senate.
Impeachment requires an extraordinary bi-partisan consensus. Only once in my over 40 years of existence has a party dominated both the house and the senate by 2/3 majority. And that was brief.
Something has to go so horribly and extremely wrong or unpopular with the public that neither party can handle that guy remaining in office.
Those damn founders. Just like with Amendment they made it too damn hard to do.
/Progs ignoring that the whole point is to make sure it is something broadly agreed upon…
Yes. That is just it. The popular of impeachment/popularity fell every week the House was doing it until it was below 50%. Yet, they continue.
Who favors impeachment? Only Democrats now. In the public and in the government.
That ain’t gonna cut it.
What do you mean? Amending the Constitution is easy.
Congress writes a bill that violates the Constitution. The President signs it. And then the Supreme Courts squints real hard at the law, chants some legal Latin incantation over it. And presto. The US Constitution is amended.
Since I think we are into the OT window:
Every morning here on Bloomberg News is non-stop Davos. That’s the filler until the impeachment starts in the afternoon.
Would anyone jetting into Davos like to buy an indulgence?
Davos makes the Illuminati look lazy and unambitious.
I don’t know about lazy and unambitious. What coverage of Davos has mostly convinced me of is that the Illuminati is mostly second rate thinkers prone to latch on the the latest intellectual fad without much serious thought. Listening to the conspiracy theorists, you expect to find Ernst Blofeld. Instead, you find the head of your high school student government.
As long as we get more pudding in the cafeteria, I don’t care.
Exactly!
Going through some change I have to sift out the yankee coinage, I found a South Carolina quarter minted in 2000, into which someone has stamped a Confederate naval jack. Is that some sort of code? Has anyone come across a coin like this before? Is it a federal crime to deface the fiat currency like that?
Oh fancy that. Just like this one.
More info here.
This is mega interesting. Apparently the man that made these did $500 of SC quarters, and some sets of the other states that seceded from the Union. I suppose 2000 isn’t exactly rare in the coin-collecting world, but it might be worth something to someone. I don’t want to sell it if it attracts the wrong kind of attention.
Cool story, JD.
Reading the news this morning, I’m of the opinion that the status quo is moving increasingly toward some sort of permanent impasse. The country is increasingly simply two tribes that want totally different agendas. If something doesn’t change, this is going to lead to some sort of plausibly violent showdown. But, I think there is at least one way to avoid that outcome. The role of the federal government should be radically scaled back with the several states assuming primacy over most of the political affairs of the nation. The federal government can cover foreign policy, military affairs, and ensuring compliance with the Constitution. The rest needs to be devolved to the states. Ideally this would be coupled with a requirement that the states adopt constitutional provisions allowing the peaceful and orderly secession of counties within their jurisdiction. Geography isn’t a perfect proxy for the division of the two tribes (as an Upper East Sider, I’m an example of it not being perfect). But, it strikes me as the least disruptive. The truth is that the two tribes don’t share a common narrative or common understanding of the world. And we’re arriving at a point where centralization is pitting each in an irreconcilable battle to achieve dominance, less they be ruled over by the other. Establishing a means for each to decide their affairs free of the interference of the other seems like the only real way to prevent it boiling over.
The trouble is that the big-government, collectivist side will never cede control over people.
I really doubt it gets resolved by us returning to the state of affairs envisioned by the Constitution, which is what you describe. One side is emphatically opposed to that and the other is wishy washy.
This is why I’m a collapsitarian
I see a couple of problems with your proposal:
– The permanent warfare state shows no signs of giving up
– The federal debt and entitlements
– The states gave up their sovereignty in exchange for federal funds (education, roads, etc…) since only the feds can print money
In short, the feds aren’t going to scale back a damn thing and will probably only increase their control in the coming decades until it all falls apart.
I like the proposal but for the reasons you state it isn’t going to happen. The only question is how bad it’ll be when it all comes crashing down. Hopefully they’ll have the wisdom the Soviets did when it came to that and let the various pieces go their own ways.
Xi and Putin already can already taste the blood in the water.
I understand everyone’s objections to my proposal. Or, better put, explanations of why it can’t happen. But, I really don’t see a way out of the slow descent into civil war other than what I’ve suggested. Neither side shows any sign of going away, despite the left’s perpetual demography as destiny claims. And as long as neither side goes away, neither is going to accept being ruled under, what to them, is a foreign and repulsive worldview. And I’m not saying this just about one side. The only way I can see to keep them together in one country is for each tribe to give the other its space.
The only other option is that the left lets off the cultural revolution throttle a bit, and we go back to the old paradigm… Death by a thousand cuts.
I don’t think they can lay off the CR throttle. They’ve tuned all of their institutions to treat any disagreement with it as tantamount to Nazism. Trying to dial back just kills the dialer.
I am afraid we may be at a tipping point now. The left is earnestly trying to remove a duly, legally elected president over policy differences. The impeachment is strictly a one party move to undo the 2016 election. It is a power grab, plain and simple and probably the biggest one in our history. I dont see a good outcome no matter how it goes.
I disagree that they are earnestly trying to remove him.
I think they are trying to stain him so his election chances go down.
to May to
to Mah to
I almost didn’t read this because of the the title. Glad I did. Good read! It was not bland like your cuisine.
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