Monday Afternoon Links – Brett?

by | Feb 24, 2020 | Daily Links | 436 comments

Brett is on a vision quest to the dark heart of Pennsylvania. If he makes it out with his sanity and mouth virginity intact, he’ll be back next week.


A feel-good story to start off the links:


An alumna of Jezebel claws her way back into brief Internet fame in this extremely confusing story about lies, Munchasuan’s, attention whoring and BEES! BEES! BEES!

Making Sense of the Dizzyingly Complicated Jameela Jamil Controversy

Jameela Jamil’s name is in the news once again in connection with another controversy, and no, this time it’s not about airbrushing or George W. Bush. It all started when a journalist accused the star of The Good Place of lying about her health issues over the years, and the situation has only snowballed from there. For the not Very Online, each new detail emerging out of the drama has only made it more difficult to follow: Why are people suggesting that Jamil has Munchausen syndrome? How does Piers Morgan factor into this? And what do swarms of bees—yes, bees—have to do with anything?


Handcuffed Weinstein Sent to Jail After Rape Conviction, Acquittal on Top Charge

A New York jury found former Hollywood studio boss Harvey Weinstein guilty of third-degree rape in the case of Jessica Mann and guilty of first-degree criminal sexual assault in the case of Mimi Haleyi, acquitting him of the two most serious counts of predatory sex assault.

Those two counts of predatory sex assault, which carried a max sentence of life and would have required 12-member jury to find Weinstein guilty of attacking both “Sopranos” actress Annabella Sciorra and Mann or both Sciorra and Haleyi, appeared to be a point of contention late last week. As the fourth day of deliberations wrapped up Friday, the jury sent the judge a note asking if they could be deadlocked on those two counts. The judge said no, and refused the defense’s request for a partial verdict.

The panel, made up of five women and seven men, returned to deliberations on Monday morning, their fifth day of discussions, and issued their decision before lunchtime. The criminal sex act conviction along carries up to 25 years in prison; third-degree rape has a max sentence of four years.

Hollywood breathes a sigh of relief has the only monster who ever pressured a young actress for sex is finally behind bars.


Prepackaged mayonnaise slices from Japan.

Sliced mayonnaise and white chocolate now exist in Japan, bringing sandwiches to glorious new era

[OMWC triggered]


The music choice sums up my feelings on all this.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

436 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Mayonnaise should never have been given to the Japs.

    • Ted S.

      They’re welcome to the Miracle Whip, however.

      • bacon-magic

        Artisnalist!

  2. Caput Lupinum

    Brett is on a vision quest to the dark heart of Pennsylvania.

    It’s meth country out there, he’ll be fine.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      Just like home.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I doubt he has to worry about any mouth virginity, as well.

      • banginglc1

        I assume they are both toothless, which I’m sure helps.

  3. UnCivilServant

    Prepackaged mayonnaise slices from Japan.

    That’s just wrong.

    If your mayo is in a state where it can hold its shape as a slice, don’t eat it.

    • banginglc1

      +1 spoonful

    • Mojeaux

      QuikTrip sells burgers in the case that you can nuke right there. They have little pats of sauce that melt like the cheese. That sauce is awesomesauce.

      Anyway, so… Yeah, I can see solid mayo in slices.

      • Jarflax

        I’m not going down the you don’t get a vote line again. But the fact that you eat microwaved gas station burgers will be weighed in any considerations of food opinions expressed henceforth.

      • banginglc1

        There is no accounting for taste. But that doesn’t mean I won’t judge you for it anyways.

      • Ted S.

        Mojeaux likes my music choices, too.

      • C. Anacreon

        I reallly like some microwaved gas station sandwiches. Chevron out here has a delicious roast beef and pepperoncini sandwich. And Bay Area 7-11s have one of the best chicken salad sandwiches around. It must be the local producer, though, because the same sandwich at 7-11s in other parts of the country aren’t nearly as good.

      • Mojeaux

        I have NEVER made a secret of the fact that I have the palate sophistication of a toddler.

      • UnCivilServant

        So… lemon curd and velveeta (not mixed)?

      • Mojeaux

        I would rather have lemon curd than lemon pudding, yes, but the pudding will do in a pinch.

        Velveeta has its place, which is over scrambled eggs and mixed with Ro-Tel for nachos.

        I am still sad over that $30/lb Spanish goat cheese I cannot afford.

      • Spudalicious

        What the hell is wrong with lemon curd?

      • UnCivilServant

        I wouldn’t know, I was assembling Mo’s shopping list.

      • banginglc1

        mmm . . .chicken nuggets and generic hot dogs.

      • Mojeaux

        Ennnnhhhhhh, chicken nuggets no.

        Take the “generic” out of hot dog and give me a giant beef one at the ballpark and then we’re talking. If I could afford Nathan’s hot dogs, I would buy them.

      • banginglc1

        See . . .your palate isn’t like a toddler, more like a 5th grader.

      • UnCivilServant

        Beef hot dogs taste… off to me. Because I was raised on the ultra-cheap “you don’t want to know” dogs that were mostly “Mechanically separated pork.”

      • banginglc1

        Agree with UCS here .. . and I don’t want to change, because It’s nice to be able to pick up a package for a dollar and make multiple meals out of it.

      • Mojeaux

        I was fine with cheap Bar-S hot dogs for years.

        Then I had a beef one and I was spoilt forever.

      • Mojeaux

        That is not to say my palate can’t be taught. It can.

        I just have no interest in preparing most things I like at home or experimenting. I don’t like cooking enough that I’m not going to waste time or money engaged in a thing I don’t like.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Kirkland brand all-beef hot dogs are the best.

        Fight me.

      • Not Adahn

        In my quest to understand native New York culture, I tried several kinds of hot dogs, but nowhere enar as many as exist in the supermarket.

        So far, my favorites are Sabretts and Old Kayem.

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you found a place that sells goat?

        Not goat cheese, goat.

      • Not Adahn

        Honestly, I haven’t looked since I don’t often cook it. However there is a stand-alone butcher shop in town and two frou-frou groceries that could undoubtedly get it if it’s not in the case already.

        I know I can get duck and rabbit (frozen) in the grocery store.

      • Count Potato

        I like Bar-S turkey hds

  4. Animal

    Prepackaged mayonnaise slices from Japan.

    That’s not even in the top 100 of weird things to come out of Japan.

    • Chipwooder

      Sweet potato KitKats?

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s only above strawberry on the Japanese Kit Kat scale.

    • Tres Cool

      You apologize right now! You just lit the HM-Signal.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Traffic Cones!

    • Trials and Trippelations

      That was quite a toss.

    • Drake

      Thrown accurately!

      • Florida Man

        I’m probably in the minority, but I feel blocking my freedom of movement in a public space is a form of aggression and you get what’s coming after that.

      • Jarflax

        I’m with you there. Blocking a road is aggression, just as locking someone in a room is aggression.

    • R C Dean

      Hi – larious.

      Excellent toss by the (fortunately) out of frame Good Samaritan. I hear those things aren’t easy to throw accurately, and that was a bulls-eye.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They are not. The weighting, shape, and aerodynamics work against you. Best is to huck the base and let the cone trail.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Throw em like frisbee.

    • robc

      Technically assault, but I would find not guilty based on Rule of Funny.

      • Rebel Scum

        Dude saved her life. She was about to get hit my a car.

      • Rebel Scum

        by*, even.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        I think stupid games, stupid prizes applies as well.

      • Tres Cool

        I could watch that all day long, specially with the soundtrack.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re all completely neutral arbiters of truth, justice, and the American way. They’re also mostly full of shit, even the good ones.

      • The Hyperbole

        She didn’t say that, Brochettaward left off a pretty big “If” clause from her statement, he’s learning form The Media™ apparently.

      • Florida Man

        There are good people on both sides…

      • Brochettaward

        I’m biased against federal judges who claim to be able to divine the will of the American people as Jackson did a few days ago, personally. Certainly that’s based on the evidence presented to her while she was just doing her job. Also, I probably have a thing against judges who describe a juror proven to have lied to the court as having served with integrity.

      • Viking1865

        Your schtick wears pretty fucking thin dude, especially with this shit. The Stones defense teams major issue with the judge is that she allowed that hopelessly partisan scrunt of a forewoman to serve on the jury. There’s not any way, shape, or form you can argue that a partisan leftist Democrat can try Roger Stone without bias. The equivalent is a Republican activist, a local Tea Party chapter head and NRA life member being allowed to chair a jury hearing a case against Karl Rove or James Carville.

        We’re not talking about Susie Soccer Mom who votes Democrat because gosh those Republicans are mean but isn’t actively engage in politics and doesn’t know the names of Republican political operatives. This is a woman whos social media posts clearly demonstrate that she was a leftist activist. She knows very well who Roger Stone is, what he does for a living, and has publicly stated her opinions about him. She cannot serve as a juror. Not if you actually want a fair trial.

        But of course, they never actually wanted a fair trial.

      • The Hyperbole

        Schtick? I was told (thanks, Winston) that holding people to their own standards is totally acceptable, We (the royal ‘glib’ we) criticize The Media™ for framing narratives, truncating quotes, leaving out details etc… I’m just ensuring that we aren’t doing the same.

      • Ted S.

        Trusting Winston for what’s acceptable is where your problem lies.

      • The Hyperbole

        I was thanking Winston for the ‘I was told…’ qualifier, not for what is and isn’t acceptable.

        He’s also good for the “I find it interesting that…”

      • leon

        I find it interesting that i was told that common qualifiers often loose their meaning.

      • pistoffnick

        Studies show that if you begin your outright lie with “studies show”, people will tend to believe it

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t believe you.

      • Not Adahn

        Her “if clause” was complete bullshit however.

      • Not Adahn

        Unless I guess, you’re like Ken White and believe that government officials have more rights than mere tax cattle.

      • The Hyperbole

        Then call her on that, don’t claim that she said “Judges can’t be ‘biased'” and leave it at that.

      • Not Adahn

        Well, no. “Judges can’t be biased” is bullshit on it’s face. The “if” clause does nothing to alleviate it, and is itself bullshit. Why you chose to mention that as if it made her statement in toto more defensible is between you and your mental health professional I guess.

      • The Hyperbole

        Her statement ‘in toto’ is defensible, she never said judges can’t be biased that’s what I was calling Broche out on, or see my comment to Brooks way down there where brooks brooks’ed.

  6. robc

    As penance for my walls of copy pasta in the 2 most recent threads, I submitted an article. Part 2 of a previously started series.

    • Jarflax

      *Hangs head in shame and goes to open barely worked on file… Look a shiny!

      • robc

        The key is to not care about quality.

      • robc

        Also, considering Part 1 was 17 months ago, its not like this series is coming to a quick end.

      • banginglc1

        I had a fraternity brother who was extreme on the ADHD scale. One day he was mopping the floor and mid stroke dropped the mop. Another guy asked, “dude, why’d you stop mopping.” He just went “oh, yeah,” picked up the mop and resumed.

  7. Q Continuum

    What makes you think that Brett still has his mouth virginity?

    • SugarFree

      Sometimes you choose which lies to believe.

      • Count Potato

        I’m choosing not to believe in sliced mayonnaise.

      • Not Adahn

        Read the label — it’s not sliced mayonnaise, it’s “sheet-like condiment”

    • banginglc1

      Brett clearly has gone down on his wife, no matter how she identifies, it still counts.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      He’s never eaten at White Castle?

      • Florida Man

        I haven’t. We have krystal, which based on no evidence or explanation, I’m claiming to be superior.

      • robc

        You are wrong.

      • Florida Man

        All I know is people rave about in and out and it’s not great. I’m extrapolating the same for White Castle. Also Florida has the best BBQ and pizza. The classiest circumcisions too.

      • robc

        They are basically the same thing, just Krystal has mustard for no good reason by default.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If White Castle is anything like Krystals it’s acceptably mediocre and you can taste the onions for days.

      • Florida Man

        Well then, sounds like krystal is superior, because it’s tasty and the onions are perfectly balanced.

      • Jarflax

        Both are hardened grease on a roll with onions. De gustibus and all of that but seriously those things are barely related to a burger.

      • Mad Scientist

        IN ‘N’ OUT IS AWESOME! ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A LOWER FORM OF LIFE THAN A SUGARFREE CHARACTER!

      • Gustave Lytton

        INO would be improved by not drenching their buns with grease, and adding mayo and bacon as options. That would raise it to ok burger.

      • Gender Traitor

        I thought it was White Castles that were in ‘n’ out.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I see little difference in the flavor, but WC turns into the worst smelling farts within an hour of eating.

        +1 Krystal.

      • pistoffnick

        “…but WC turns into the worst smelling farts within an hour…”

        Part of their charm, especially if you are on a long roadtrip with your buddies.

      • robc

        He lives south of the White Castle/Krystal line.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Doesn’t that make my theory viable?

      • robc

        Yes, I was agreeing with it.

      • Ted S.

        Is that like the hot/crazy line?

      • banginglc1

        More like the loose/solid stool line

      • Chipwooder

        I miss Krystal Chiks.

      • Florida Man

        My man! I love krystal chicks. Especially when they have the spicy chicks.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I hear he’s got a purty face.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not biased, you insufferable worm

    A federal judge denied former Trump adviser Roger Stone’s request that she recuse herself from a potential new trial, saying in an order Sunday that there was no factual or legal basis for Stone’s claims.

    The judge, Amy Berman Jackson, of U.S. District Court in Washington, sentenced Stone to three years and four months in prison last week for obstructing a congressional investigation into Russia’s meddling in the 2016 presidential election.

    ——-

    In Stone’s motion to have Jackson removed from the case, his lawyers pointed to comments she made during Stone’s sentencing, when she said jurors had “served with integrity under difficult circumstances.”

    “The Court’s ardent conclusion of ‘integrity’ indicates an inability to reserve judgment on an issue which has yet been heard,” the documents claim.

    ——-

    Without factual or legal support, Jackson wrote, Stone’s effort to disqualify her appeared to be “nothing more than an attempt to use the Court’s docket to disseminate a statement for public consumption that has the words ‘judge’ and ‘biased’ in it.”

    Strictly on the up and up, it was. No reasonable person could believe otherwise. Now shut up, Stone, before you get slapped with a contempt charge.

  9. Juvenile Bluster

    Every time I consider that I might possibly vote for Trump as the lesser evil in November, I’m reminded as to why I can’t.

    Analysts previously predicted Donald Trump might support marijuana legalization to boost his chances of re-election this year. Instead, the opposite has happened. The Trump Administration has proposed removing medical marijuana protections in the 2021 fiscal budget and leaked audio revealed the President’s belief that smoking weed makes you dumb.

    Trump has done little to reverse this appearance of an anti-marijuana sentiment building in the White House. Rather, a top Trump campaign spokesman doubled down and said marijuana should remain illegal at the federal level. During an interview with Las Vegas CBS affiliate KLAS-TV, Marc Lotter, who serves as director of strategic communications for Trump’s 2020 campaign, was asked about the President’s stance on changing federal cannabis laws.

    “I think the president is looking at this from a standpoint of a parent—a parent of a young person—to make sure we keep our kids away from drugs,” Lotter said. “They need to be kept illegal. That is the federal policy.”

    This complicates what Trump stated during his 2016 campaign and time in the White House. Previously, Trump supported leaving marijuana legalization to the states and voiced support for the STATES Act, bipartisan legislation that would prohibit federal prosecution for those living in states with legal cannabis.

    “I think the president has been pretty clear on his views on marijuana at the federal level. I know many states have taken a different path,” Lotter said.

    It could also signal a change in political strategy from the president in the upcoming election. Outside candidates Joe Biden and Mike Bloomberg, the Democratic presidential nominee will support legalizing cannabis at the federal level. Trump could see it as an advantage to position himself opposite of his eventual opponent. For now, Trump appears comfortable allowing himself being seen as someone who will uphold federal cannabis prohibition.

    Said Lotter, “If he changes that, obviously that would be something I wouldn’t want to get out in front of him on that.”

    The protection they’re talking about being removed is the one that’s been in place since 2014 that prohibits DOJ funds from being used to federally prosecute cases involving legal medical marijuana.

    • Sean

      More leaks, eh?

      More sources close to Trump?

      Meh.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I don’t trust the anonymous stuff. When it’s a named person still in his administration, which it is here, it’s different.

      • The Hyperbole

        And when just a week ago he was lamenting that we don’t execute drug dealers, I tend to believe he has a hard on drugs stance.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        To be honest, I assumed any stance he took on the matter was going to be in line with his base. If he were planning to do it (IF) it would be in the second term.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Trump is a 70 year old teetotaler. This isn’t surprising although I’d hoped for better.

    • Q Continuum

      “prohibits DOJ funds from being used to federally prosecute cases involving legal medical marijuana”

      I’d say that ship sailed long ago when they barred firearm ownership from MMJ card holders.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I don’t think purchasing firearms has been barred from MMJ holders. It’s just a felony that many/most of them don’t realize since the background check clears fine.

        Some CA prosecutor with half a brain and no conscience is finally going to put it together and start matching up CA firearm registrations with MMJ holder lists. I think a few may have even started doing this.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t think purchasing firearms has been barred from MMJ holders.

        I think the form asks if you use illegal drugs. Pot is illegal federally, so if you are using pot, you either answer truthfully (and can’t buy) or you lie (and commit a crime).

      • R C Dean

        Yup, question 11(e), which also specifically says “just cause its legal under state law doesn’t mean its legal under federal law”.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Meh. Just buy it face to face and avoid the whole thing.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        The form does. The vendor even helpfully pointed out the MMJ counts, though it was in VA so I don’t know why they bothered.

        I meant though that there’s no obstruction or prevention to purchasing firearms for MMJ holders. You’ll still pass your background check. I imagine the regular joe hasn’t thought through the federal vs. state legality issue and probably doesn’t even bother reading the form.*

        *I think there was discussion on this before and the general consensus is that Glibs are the last group of people on earth (besides lawyers and possibly Bogleheads) who thoroughly read a form before signing. I didn’t think this was true until I met my wife, who I now must read all documents for before she’s allowed to sign

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        For context, she misspelled her own name on our marriage license. Fortunately, I caught it before we submitted it after she made fun of me for insisting on proofreading the form.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Can’t blame her for trying to null the marriage.

      • UnCivilServant

        It asked if I have been convicted of a felony, not if I’ve commited one.

      • R C Dean

        I meant though that there’s no obstruction or prevention to purchasing firearms for MMJ holders.

        I’m surprised you can answer “yes” to a question that is, essentially, “are you violating federal law?” and still buy a firearm. I thought that would be disabling. Otherwise, why have it?

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I’m explaining this poorly. Answering no on the drug usage generally doesn’t matter unless you have a record that can be used against you. In that case, the background check will fail and provide a bar to gun ownership. You won’t be able to purchase the gun no matter what you selected for 11(e).

        Not so with MMJ holders. They will pass the background check and pickup their firearm after selecting “no” for 11(e). Their record of drug use (the MMJ registration) did not provide a bar. Only, there’s a record of their drug use now that a prosecutor will match up to their firearm registration retrospectively.

        It’s kind of like the same with gun gifts. If you are buying a gun as a gift for your wife, adult child, etc., you have to click no on the form. Someone, certainly not me, received a firearm as a wedding present from a close friend. I remember some poor guy bought a gun as a gift for his father and made the mistake of leaving a record about it on Facebook or someplace like that. Prosecutor put it together and he faced a good deal of jail time. No record and no one would have known. There’s no bar to purchasing a gun as a gift, just retrospective prosecution.

      • R C Dean

        They will pass the background check and pickup their firearm after selecting “no” for 11(e).

        What happens if you truthfully answer “yes”? Can you still get the gun?

        What happens after somebody matches your gun background check (with the answer “no”) with your MMJ registration?

    • banginglc1

      He can’t be that dense can he? That would definitely cost him votes in November.

      /please don’t actually answer my question

      • Florida Man

        It’s definitely dumb move since MJ laws are changing by popular vote in most states.

      • Count Potato

        It’s a long time until November.

    • KSuellington

      Marijuana is already legal at the Federal level. Obama took care of that. Just like he promised he would.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    leaked audio revealed the President’s belief that smoking weed makes you dumb.

    Not your problem, Don.

    • Urthona

      I mean this belief is correct. While you’re on it at least.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gary Johnson nods.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Dumbly.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        “What is a ‘leppo’?”

      • UnCivilServant

        A term for someone with Ahnsen’s Disease.

  11. Rufus the Monocled

    i read when they handcuffed Weinstein he didn’t use his walker.

  12. UnCivilServant

    Well, this isn’t good. Now I’m envisioning the Arena herald as Chairman Kaga from Iron Chef.

    I just wanted to add some more showman qualities to my mental image of the character.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      The secret ingredient is … eel.

      • Ted S.

        I like eels,
        Except as meals.
        And the way they feels.

        — Ogden Nash

      • banginglc1

        The Eels are a good band. I’ve listened to them quite a bit the last few months.

    • UnCivilServant

      I couldn’t get into the amphitheater without Husil. Naturally, that meant I waited by the wrong door until one of his bodyguards came looking for us. Sheepishly, I hobbled behind Husil as we headed to our usual seats. Due to my delay, we’d missed whatever the first act had been. The serving girls poured dark purple wine into crystal goblets, and I was thankful for the drink. On the arena floor, they were smoothing out the sand, and a herald on the far platform was trying to get the crowd’s attention. “For this interlude, we have a livestock thief sentenced to face the beasts – Orinco Wat.” He pointed to one of the gates at floor level of the arena. It ground open, and a hesitant figure was shoved out. Shielding his eyes against the daylight, Orinco took a few more unsteady steps away from the closing gate. He was a lean, almost gaunt, youth with dark hair. Clad in short pants, he appeared to have neither arms nor armor. I began to feel uneasy as it occured to me that this could just be an execution.

      The sand rakers left the arena, covering up their own tracks as they went.

      “The thief Orinco will have to stay in the arena until he finishes his battle with…” The herald paused and made a dramatic gesture towards the far side of the arena. There, two pairs of doors were opening through the sand, creating a cascade as they tipped to vertical, then sank down the sides of the hole they revealed. Open-topped iron cages, each the size of the hole they rose from, ascended into the arena. The bars sank back into the floor, leaving a platform in each space. The herald finished his sentence with undue enthusiasm, “-The Zakegos!” This drew uproarious laughter from the crowd. Each of the beasts had a body about the size of a rabbit, though their neck, ears, and legs were much longer. They looked to be hooved, and completely harmless.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    From Brochettaward’s link:

    “Judges cannot be ‘biased’ and need not be disqualified if the views they express are based on what they learned while doing the job they were appointed to do.”

    So- if the judge thinks you’re guilty, that’s all that really matters?

    • UnCivilServant

      “I’ve seen a lot of your type come through here. All said they didn’t do it. Most got the chair, cause they deserved it.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Felt I owed it to them”

    • Rebel Scum

      Judges cannot be ‘biased’

      Ah. So the left sees no reason to attempt to stack the supreme court.

    • R C Dean

      Any judge who says that should be summarily removed from the bench. What they “learn” while judging covers a hell of a lot of ground, some of which they should absolutely leave at the courthouse door. It also begs the very relevant question of what they actually do learn while judging, which itself is influenced, if not controlled, but their preconceptions.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Maybe you should be more concerned about humans.

    State officials have complained the Trump administration’s proposed rules don’t do enough to protect endangered species.

    Late last year, fulfilling a campaign promise by the president, the administration announced a plan to divert water to California farmers and would change the way the Endangered Species Act was applied.

    However, an analysis completed by some experts and federal biologists found the administration’s proposed plan jeopardized the future of endangered fish.

    “We are challenging the federal biological opinions, which do not currently govern water project operation in the delta, to protect highly imperiled fish species close to extinction,” California Governor Gavin Newsom said.

    It is not our job to save any and all species. We should only do so privately and insofar as it is a benefit to us. For instance, we eat cows, therefor there will never be a shortage of cows.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Hero of the revolution

    Pete Buttigieg shared an emotional moment with a young supporter in Denver on Saturday night.
    “Thank you for being so brave,” the boy, later identified as 9-year-old Zachary Ro, wrote in a question submitted via fishbowl during the presidential hopeful’s Saturday rally, “Would you help me tell the world I’m gay, too? I want to be brave like you.”
    Zachary, who attended the rally with his parents, joined the former South Bend, Indiana, mayor on stage. He presented Buttigieg with a bracelet, which the Democratic hopeful put on.
    “I don’t think you need a lot of advice for me on bravery. You seem pretty strong to me,” Buttigieg, who is gay, told Zachary. “It took me a long time to figure out how to tell even my best friend that I was gay, let alone to go out there and tell the world and to see you willing to come to terms with who you are in a room full of 1,000 people, thousands of people you’ve never met that’s, that’s really something.”

    Buttigieg took the opportunity to tell Zachary, “a couple things that might be useful.”
    “The first thing is that it won’t always be easy, but that’s okay, because you know who you are. And that’s really important, because when you know who you are, you have a center of gravity that can hold you together when all kinds of chaos is happening around you,” he said.

    Totally spontaneous, I’m sure.

    • Ted S.

      The kid probably isn’t even gay.

      • RAHeinlein

        He didn’t publicly come-out as gay until 2015.

      • R C Dean

        Unless he hit puberty at the very early age of 9 (which isn’t impossible, just highly unlikely) then, no, I don’t think he’s gay. At least, not yet.

        Still, count on Buttigieg to assume the gender of the “boy”, who is probably not gay at all, but instead identifies as a girl with funny feelings down there in the locker room after PE.

      • Chipwooder

        There is no kid – it’s a 35 year old midget.

    • Rebel Scum

      that’s really something

      Child abuse?

    • PBRstreetgang

      I know kids have been used as political props essentially forever, but it really seems to have gone to 11 in the past few years (Parkland, Greta, Mayor Pete’s friend, Warren’s Veto-wielding-on-cabinet-positions teen, etc).

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re hiding behind them. It’s insulation from criticism.

  16. Winston

    http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/index.php/2020/02/24/dead-country-walking/

    Canada is presently in the throes of social and political disintegration. A left-leaning electorate has once again empowered a socialist government promoting all the lunatic ideological shibboleths of the day: global warming or “climate change,” radical feminism, indigenous sovereignty, expansionary government, environmental strangulation of energy production, and the presumed efficiency of totalitarian legislation. Industry and manufacturing are abandoning the country in droves and heading south

    PJ media always on the optimistic side.

    https://nationalpost.com/opinion/rex-murphy-the-teck-decision-is-the-culmination-of-trudeaus-anti-oil-agenda

    To think this guy ran for the Newfie Liberals once.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      YOU LEAVE REX MURPHY ALONE. He’s a national treasure.

      • Winston

        I wasn’t bashing him just referring this:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Murphy

        Murphy has run for provincial office in Newfoundland twice: in the 1985 provincial election in the riding of Placentia [2] and in a byelection in the riding of St. John’s East in 1986 [3] as a Liberal. He lost both times. He also worked in the 1980s as executive assistant to Clyde Wells.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I’m very protective of Rex.

        It’s also worth noting Alberta and Quebec didn’t vote for him. The Maritimes and Toronto gave him the minority.

        Makes you wonder what they’re mixing their Jell-O with.

        Idiots.

      • Shirley Knott

        Placentia? Seriously?

    • R C Dean

      Industry and manufacturing are abandoning the country in droves and heading south

      I hope so. Any data to support this?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Wouldn’t surprise me if this is the case. He’s that bad.

        A real moron in the classic sense.

      • Winston

        Is he really dumb though? Destroy Alberta to prop the Liberal Eastern and Central Canada. Screwing over Alberta is one of the few things the Francophone and Anglophone Quebeckers can agree on.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        You don’t have to be smart to do that.Just be a dishonourable piece of shit. Plus he’s just copying his father. His adoptive one.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Destroying Alberta shoots the FedGov in the foot — when the oil royalties were flowing into Alberta’s coffers, FedGov was taking its unfair share as well. Can’t re-distribute wealth if you’ve destroyed the source.

      • Winston

        Green cronyism, yo.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      By the way, Cornshit unwittingly mobilized a lot of Canadians who would otherwise have remained sleeping had he not been such a troubling making bitch.

      • Winston

        Cornshit?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        His a piece of corn in shit.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Keep up Winston.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I would never ever under any circumstance cede control of my car to automation.

      Ever.

      Also. Does automation have the problem of second drivers yapping in your ear?

      • R C Dean

        If Siri and Alexa get in an argument, all bets are off.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, that’s what drives the Telsas to crash, they’re tired of hearing the other computers backseat driving.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        It’s bad enough when they get in an argument with you.

        I told you to turn left. You never listen to me. That’s it I’m going to my mother’s.

  17. Tundra

    Julian Cope!

    Thanks, SF. That and the protester video were perfect bookends to the derp!

  18. Juvenile Bluster

    I’ve been on medical marijuana for two weeks now. Only taking it at night. Jesus Christ this stuff works miracles (when I can get a steady dose. I really wish Florida allowed gummies). My anxiety disorder is pegged to 11 nearly all the time. Generally I fall asleep by taking benzos and just being too tired to care that I’m anxious. This is the only medication I’ve taken in 20+ years of taking psychiatric medications that actually helps me relax. I’d forgotten what that was like.

    • Count Potato

      Good for you!

    • LJW

      That’s good to hear. Out of curiosity have you looked into psilocybin studies? Sounds like a lot of promise coming from them.

      • banginglc1

        I’m very familiar with psilocycbin studies. I’d argue much better for depression than anxiety, but can work for both. Both in macro and micro doses.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Looked into that and also into MDMA and LSD studies. One day, I hope.

      • Tundra

        Listen to Peter Attia’s first podcast with Tim Ferris. Some really interesting stuff there.

        I’m glad you found something that works.

        And, drug warriors? Burn in hell you fucks.

      • banginglc1

        And, drug warriors? Burn in hell you fucks.

        They’ve ruined my life in more ways than one.

    • Florida Man

      I’m glad it is working for you, JB. You got to take care of your health.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Honest question. Is your anxiety related to your adrenal gland?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        No.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Excellent.

    • R C Dean

      I keep hearing anecdotes like yours. Glad to hear it.

    • SugarFree

      I don’t experience anxiety, but I use it to sleep as well, and have for a very long time. It beats the living shit out of every other insomnia cure I’ve ever tired.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Not a fan of lavender are you?

      • Tres Cool

        -1 melatonin

    • banginglc1

      I don’t partake in THC products often, but it seems like when I do I either get too high or not enough. I don’t remember that from HS and college, back then there didn’t seem to be a too much or too little.

      • banginglc1

        Also, it seemingly does nothing for my anxiety, but I’m happy it helps others. I don’t know why drug warriors can’t feel the same.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yeah, the shatter I get doesn’t help me fall asleep, at all. It may even interfere a bit, but on balance it’s a plus in the evening.

      • Tundra
    • Shirley Knott

      Excellent! Congratulations on finding something that works, that was clearly a challenge. Hopefully things might keep loosening up.

    • Chipwooder

      Shikha in a padded room yet?

      • UnCivilServant

        Ahem. The room identifies as a “Safe Space”.

    • PBRstreetgang

      We live in truly strange times.

      • Shirley Knott

        Best timeline.

    • Count Potato

      “The Russians hacked India”

      LOL

    • Not Adahn

      The. Best. Timeline.

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    People, no, Trump is not going to pardon Weinstein. He wouldn’t do it anyways, but even if he wanted to, he couldn’t.

    This has been JB passive-aggressively yelling at people on Twitter.

    • Brochettaward

      I mean, alls he did was grab some bitches by the pussy. He’s a kindred spirit. Trump has to use his God-Emperor powers to pardon him.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Well, I’m convinced.

    Hostin said, “We’re seeing a reaction to what we have seen in the Republican Party. The Republican Party of yesteryear is gone. What you have now is the Trumplican Party. We have this party that no one even recognizes anymore, that’s far-right, so out of bounds, we got this dictator really that’s completely untethered in the White House and a party that’s completely supporting all of that to remain in power.”

    • RAHeinlein

      “far right” – lmao

    • Chipwooder

      Define “dictator”. Who the fuck is this woman anyway? Where the hell did she and Joy Behar come from in the first place? I would have never heard of either one if it weren’t for The View.

    • leon

      Every modern president fits the bill of Dictator if you are strictly going to use the definition of having all power. The executive can legislate and adjudicate. And now, thanks to Obama, he can even summarily execute citizens.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        But only Trump engages in assassination.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Interesting

    Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in an unusual move on Monday issued a dissent that rebuked a decision that he authored 15 years ago.

    Thomas on Monday explained how his views on the power of federal administrative agencies have evolved since he penned the 2005 decision in case known as Brand X, which reinforced a legal doctrine that has increasingly faced criticism from conservatives.

    ——-

    “Although I authored Brand X, ‘it is never too late to ‘surrende[r] former views to a better considered position,’” Thomas wrote, borrowing a line from a 1950 case. “Brand X appears to be inconsistent with the Constitution, the Administrative Procedure Act (APA), and traditional tools of statutory interpretation.”

    The court’s decision not to take up the newer case means it failed to garner votes from the requisite four justices.

    Like Brand X, that newer case, Howard Baldwin v. U.S., raised issues related to so-called Chevron deference. That legal principle stems from a 1984 case and instructs courts to defer to interpretations by federal agencies when guidance from Congress is vague.

    Thomas’s opinion on Monday puts him in league with the many conservative critics who blame the 1984 ruling in Chevron v. NRDC with helping to grow and empower the federal bureaucracy.

    “Chevron compels judges to abdicate the judicial power without constitutional sanction,” Thomas wrote on Monday, adding, “Chevron also gives federal agencies unconstitutional power.”

    As Twain said (more or less), “Only fools and dead men never change their opinions.”

    • Winston

      Back when BOOOOSH was in power it was assumed that the bureaucracy was on the side of the Republicans.

      • UnCivilServant

        The Bureaucracy is on the Side of the Bureaucracy.

        I refer you to “Yes, Minister” for an explaination of why.

    • Rhywun

      So at least four of them are still happy with the monstrous, unconstitutional administrative state.

      Donald, you still have some work to do here.

      • Winston

        Well Trump likely only opposes it because they don’t like him, alas.

      • Viking1865

        Every single Democrat appointed judge rubber stamps every expansion of state power.

        Half of all Republican appointed judges “grow in office to a more nuanced understanding of our glorious modern living Constitution.”

        If Trump somehow managed to appoint four more judges, you might end up with a razor slim 5-4 majority that could roll back some things, if they weren’t dedicated to upholding precedent.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      All in Warren. Is that like balls deep?

      • banginglc1

        i have an iron stomach, at least I used to. Makes sense that you posted this on links authored by SF

      • Rebel Scum

        You don’t always have to fuck her hard.
        In fact sometimes that’s not right to do.
        Sometimes you gotta make some love.
        And fuckin’ give her some smooches too.

    • leon

      She saw that Bernie had a beareded guy endorse him so she is going to follow suit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Karl Marx?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Justin Trudeau?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Barack Obama?

  22. Rebel Scum

    Terrifying, tumultuous, tyrant.

    Monday on CNN’s “New Day,” Rep. Mike Quigley (D-IL) commented on the Axios report that White House officials “assembled detailed lists of disloyal government officials to oust — and trusted pro-Trump people to replace them.”

    Quigley said President Donald Trump “wants a team of sycophants” working for him rather than “a team of rivals.”

    “I think the public should read it this way: the president wants a team of sycophants instead of a team of rivals, and that should be scary,” Quigley warned.

    • leon

      Remind me of all the people past presidents let work for them who were intent on overthrowing the president.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Or the public can read it this way: The executive can appoint people who he believes will carry out his agenda rather than undermining it.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      He does want a team of sycophants around him. It’s true. But it’s also not really different than every President before him.

      The most annoying thing about the Trump Presidency is the establishment screaming about the things he’s doing (most of which differ little from every other President in recent memory) and how they’ll be the doom of our nation.

      And they’ll ignore the same behavior from President Warren.

      • Florida Man

        And they’ll ignore the same behavior from President Warren.-

        You’re really trying to get me to pull the lever for Trump.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        They won’t just ignore it from Warren. They’ll celebrate it. They’ll say she’s handpicked a team that is on the same wavelength and primed to carry out her many plans.

    • SDF-7
  23. Winston

    https://mises.org/library/origins-nazism

    Interesting article by Mises himself during WWII

    Even in the more advanced western parts and in the cities there were still many illiterates and semiliterates. These masses were not concerned with any political issue; they obeyed blindly, because they lived in fear of punishment in hell, with which the church threatened them, and in a still greater fear of the police. They were outside the pale of German civilization and German cultural life; they knew only their regional dialects, and could hardly converse with a man who spoke only the German literary language or another dialect. But the number of these backward people was steadily decreasing. Economic prosperity and education spread from year to year.

    For a supposedly individualistic and plural ideology these German liberals sounded pretty conformist and collectivist. Every German needs to be taught the proper German dialect and proper religion.

    They knew that they could not establish popular government within a nation where many millions were still caught in the bonds of superstition, boorishness, and illiteracy. The political problem was essentially a problem of education. The final success of liberalism and democracy was beyond doubt. The trend toward parliamentary rule was irresistible. But the victory of liberalism could be achieved only when those strata of the population from which the King drew his reliable soldiers should have become enlightened and thereby transformed into supporters of liberal ideas. Then the King would be forced to surrender, and the Parliament would obtain supremacy without bloodshed.

    Interesting the emphasis on inevitability of history and education…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Germans invented modern collectivism. The commies, the fascists, the democratic socialists all originated there.

      And Fichte (German) wrote the manifesto for public education at the end of the 18th century, specifically with socialization of the individual to the state as the goal.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Fascism came from Italy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Fair enough, but it drew heavily on Hegel and Fichte,.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        True and to argue against myself Mussolini was originally a communist IIRC.

      • Chipwooder

        Yeah, but they weren’t very good at it.

      • Winston

        WUR MUH TRAINS GON

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      The French put a very similar emphasis on speaking “proper” French, which made sense when you realized that, even in the late 19th Century, there were many areas within France where you could walk a dozen klicks from where you were born and raised and not understand anything your ostensible neighbours were saying. One of the biggest problems the French Army had during WWI were recruits who could not communicate with each other or with their commanding NCOs or officers.

      • Winston

        The French Republicans also supported public schools to defeat the Church and they blamed Napoleon III’s election on the uneducated provincial peasantry.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        The French Republicans . . . blamed Napoleon III’s election on the uneducated provincial peasantry.

        Money and the ethnic vote, d00d. Money. and. the. ethnic. vote.

        (Non-Canadians, or Canadians who came of age after 1995, won’t get the reference.)

      • Winston

        I’ve seen many Western separatists express similar fears.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s been reported before.

      I wouldn’t be surprised.

    • Viking1865

      The red flag law is the only one that actually matters. If that passes, every single gun owner who has a crazy proggy nephew or aunt or who at one time posted on social media something vaguely threatening will have the Sword of Damocles hanging over their head. Especially when they set up some kind of “anonymous report” system, because of the threat of White Supremacist Terrorists retaliating against Goodthinking Citizens Reporting Dangers.

      • R C Dean

        The red flag law is the only one that actually matters.

        They all matter. Red flag laws just matter the most.

        Isn’t it interesting that they have already resulted in bodies hitting the ground, and allofasudden “If it saves just one life . . .” isn’t a categorical imperative any more.

      • Viking1865

        One gun a month is an infringement, standard capacity mag bans are an infringement, bans on modern rifles are an infringement. They’re a problem, they need to be stopped, all true.

        But the red flag laws, especially once they “streamline the process to help gun owners in crisis” with some kind of anonymous reporting, is the end to gun ownership in safety. Next time you’re arguing politics with your snowflake neighbor, all they have to do is drop the dime, and your best case scenario is being out thousands of dollars and being unable to own guns for months.

        It is by far the most monstrous proposal the gun grabbers have ever made. Its something Laventy Beria would have clapped in gleeful delight at the subtle genius.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If the body hitting the ground belongs to a gun owner then that’s just icing on the cake. You see they, the more radical ones at least, hate us and want to see us either oppressed or dead.

      • Viking1865

        Yep, and when the gun owners dies the media will be in full court press talking about “officers tried to take him into custody for his own safety at 3 AM, but he refused to drop his gun and was shot by officers.”

        Mark my words, if it passes, the next step will be to open up the public records laws, so they can start doxxing people more efficiently. Selective terror via bureaucracy. They’ll go to gun ranges, provoke people in the parking lot, get them redfaced and yelling, and use the footage as evidence for a red flag claim. They’ll write down the license plates at gun shows, and use fellow travelers at DMV to locate addresses and provoke incidents. Some dad yelled at a kids soccer game and is a known gun owner? Red flag claim. The new de facto standard for gun owners will be 100% Zenlike calm at all times and places. No yelling “fuck the ref” at a hockey game. No getting in a tussle at a bar.

        I have never been more terrified of a gun control law than this red flag law. Hell, who on this very website hasn’t made a woodchipper joke, or said something about watering the three of liberty? That’s now violent threats, grounds for a red flag case.

  24. Q Continuum

    Advice for the day:

    If it flies, floats or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      -1 Weinstein

      • Bobarian LMD

        His lease ran out.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    We have this party that no one even recognizes anymore, that’s far-right, so out of bounds, we got this dictator really that’s completely untethered in the White House and a party that’s completely supporting all of that to remain in power.

    It’s like I don’t even know what country she’s talking about.

    • R C Dean

      “What is this, 2012?”

      • mexican sharpshooter

        It seemed so much simpler back then.

  26. robc

    Counted on commute home:

    16 Tulsi signs
    0 for everyone else

  27. Winston

    Why are Hollywood actors so leftist? They travel a lot, get drunk a lot, snort lots of coke, have lots of sex outside of traditional marriage, buy Chinese goods and have Mexican gardeners.

    • UnCivilServant

      Because they know there are millions of equally talented people competing for their jobs and thus their breakthrough represents an unearned boon. They feel they didn’t work for their wealth, and therefore no one else did either.

      • KSuellington

        All of that plus it is their environment. It’s easier to go along to get along and if you already don’t feel that strongly about things then it’s nice and easy to parrot the bs, even if you think it’s not exactly right.

      • Chipwooder

        Think that’s the biggest factor. These people would rather die than be considered unfashionable, and in 2020 America anything other than woke leftism is tremendously gauche.

  28. Tundra

    More emergency goalie fun:

    His wife.

    The comments are hilarious!

    Post-game

    I love this game.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Then call her on that, don’t claim that she said “Judges can’t be ‘biased’” and leave it at that.

    That “if clause” was nothing but bullshit self-justification.

    “We (judges) are better than you, and therefor not subject to bias.”

    Fuck you and the broom you rode in on, Your Honor.

    • The Hyperbole

      Again that is not what she said, where in here full statement is the sentiment that Judges are better than us? where does she say they are not subject to bias? She says they can’t be ‘biased’ and called to step down because of certain criteria, that would imply they can be ‘biased’ and asked to step down for other criteria. It’s really not that hard of a distinction to grok, unless of course your preconceived biases have you reading her word as you already want to read them.

      • Not Adahn

        If you really believed that, you would have quoted her nonsense, instead of obliquely referring to it. This is one of the ways we know your troll act is just an act. Here, I’ll quote it for you:

        if the views they express are based on what they learned while doing the job they were appointed to do.”

        So if the prosecution shows her completely inadmissible evidence, such as the defendant hires prostitutes, or he cheated on one of the judges sorority sister in college she is claiming that she is completely allowed to base her decisions on how to rule based on facts literally not in evidence. Or rumors. Or whatever Rachel Maddow tweets during the trial.

  30. Old Man With Candy

    Sliced, prepackaged pus.

    We need to drop more nukes.

    • Bobarian LMD

      That’s what caused it in the first place.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      If it is a solid does that make it pus?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re an unusual people who get off on tentacle rape porn and this is what pushed you over the edge?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        You don’t understand, he has an irrational hatred of mayonnaise. You might question how this is possible, how does he lubricate sandwiches?

        Avocado. That’s how.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Mustard is the only acceptable sandwich lubricant.

      • The Hyperbole

        Horseradish sauce on a roast beef sammich begs to differ, although I agree in most other cases.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Do you have any Grey Poupon?

      • Shirley Knott

        It’s not lubricant it’s sandwich spackle.

      • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

        Guacamole is the answer to all of life’s problems.

      • UnCivilServant

        It works as mortar to fix my foundation?

      • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

        It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping!

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Whatever you do, don’t taunt it.

      • Chipwooder

        If guacamole begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head.

      • Old Man With Candy

        It’s not irrational. That shit is pus in a jar.

      • Spudalicious

        I have an aoli tasting lined up for your visit.

    • KSuellington

      Mayo is awesome as long as it is artisanal. And fair trade.

      But really, the difference between Best Foods (it Heilman’s east of the Rockies!) and real mayo is the difference between Yuban and fresh ground Colombian pressed.

      • Chipwooder

        Duke’s

      • KSuellington

        I’ll look out for that. My wife makes the homemade stuff sometimes and it’s really frigging good. Maille from France, if you can ever find it, is awesome. What the hell else are you gonna dip your fries in?

        (Actually ketchup and mayo combo is proven by the science to be the best French fry condiment)

      • Old Man With Candy

        The same science used by Greta?

        The true answer is that it’s a tie between sriracha and sambal oelek.

      • KSuellington

        Greta also hates mayo. You two will have much to talk about. Sriracha is only good for pho, fried rice and some other Asian foods. Sambal olek is good for the same while being somewhat harder to find.

      • Spudalicious

        Mayo and sriracha for sweet potato fries, or GTFO.

      • Old Man With Candy

        They are fucking great on fries. Great. Go to the world’s best fry place, the Vlasmse Frites stand off Leidsestraat in Amsterdam and that’s what they’ll give you.

        Sriracha is American, just like potatoes. Pus is French, and fuck those guys.

        Pus. Sheesh. You people are retarded.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        The judges would also accept mayo and Korean gochujang.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Maille from France, if you can ever find it, is awesome.

        If you can ever find it?
         D00d, what kind of Hellhole do you live in? I’m in Edmonton, Alberta (regarded as Lesser Upper Buttfuck, Canada by most people to the east or west of here), and my local bog-standard grocery store has at least a half-dozen different varieties of Maille available year-round.

      • KSuellington

        You live in Canuckistan. They likely have passed a law that bilingual mayo is the law of the land.

        Seriously tho, you can find Maille mustards here, but I have never seen their mayo.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        We also get their pickles. Their cornichons are transcendent, dammit.

      • Rhywun

        Their cornichons are transcendent, dammit.

        Can confirm.

        I didn’t know they do mustard and mayo – will have to keep an eye out.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Heilman’s, the Third Reich’s favorite sandwich spread.

    • straffinrun

      *Looks at American version of sushi*

      Nuke thyself, physician.

    • Gender Traitor

      Forget the mayo. White “chocolate” is NOT chocolate. It is wax. It is not fit for human consumption. It is an abomination and an insult to true (by which I mean dark) chocolate.

      • UnCivilServant

        Okay.

        *adds note – find way to keep white chocolate looking like it wasn’t liquid in arizona to gift to GT*

      • Gender Traitor

        During your upcoming cross-country trip, you could acquire some of Dayton’s own REAL chocolate.

      • Jarflax

        Stop by Cincy and I’ll buy you chocolates at Aglamesis or Graeters. Esther price is meh.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Isn’t it interesting that they have already resulted in bodies hitting the ground, and allofasudden “If it saves just one life . . .” isn’t a categorical imperative any more.

    Some lives are more deserving of being saved than others.

  32. Raven Nation

    Football spoiler:

    Reds fans, it was squeaky bum time, but your “magic number” is now 12.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Reds are baseball. The football team is the Bengals. Semi-pro, of course.

      • Jarflax

        There is nothing semi pro about the Bengals. Mike Brown is a master of football. He got the taxpayers to buy him a stadium. Then when someone else was making money on parking by undercutting him, he got us to buy him that lot as well. The concessiosns stands at the stadium are worked by volunteers raising money for various charities. That way he doesn’t have to worry about labor laws or minimum wage. He is a Pro to the core…. Oh you meant playing the game? Nevermind.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Some ex Bengals player was on the NFL Network a few weeks ago talking about how at the beginning of training camps the players had to choose from a pile of used jock straps for practice, so most players just bought their own. Every penny counts, I guess.

        The more I hear about how that team operates, the more respect I have for Marvin Lewis. How he made that team occasionally a solid playoff team for all those years is a wonder.

    • Rhywun

      I hope they get it done before Man City – i.e. with the next 4 matches. I don’t like these wobbly performances lately.

      • Raven Nation

        Hmm, @Watford, vs. Bournemouth, @ Everton, vs. Crystal Palace. I’ll give them two wins at home, at least a point @Watford; Everton is a push. So 7 points.

        ManCity: @ United, vs Burnley, @Chelsea. City probably drop points against Chelsea (call it a draw) and win the other 2.

        So, that would be 9 of the 12 they need. Even if that’s the way it goes & they lose to City, two of their next three games are home vs. Aston Villa & home vs. Burnley. It’s hard to see LFC not winning at least one of those. And, no, I can’t jinx b/c I’m not a supporter.

    • Tres Cool

      “well, there’s next year” is a common mantra in Cincinnati for our sports teams.

  33. Winston

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/22/flood-anger-climate-crisis-fossil-fuel

    These storms have gone beyond the point of simply being storms now, each blurring into the next to create a strangely end-of-days feeling. Everything is freakishly sodden and swollen, and while the rural flood plain on which I live fortunately hasn’t flooded anything like as badly as some, the rivers are rising alarmingly. Yet still the lashing winds and biblical downpours keep coming. Suddenly the 40 Days of Action campaign that Extinction Rebellion (XR) will launch on Ash Wednesday (26 February), encouraging people to reflect on the environmental consequences of their actions in a kind of green Lent, feels ominously well named.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Definitely not a religion.

    • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

      Jonestown 2.0

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Green Lent? LOLGF!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        For Green Lent please turn off your furnace. And don’t use any fire. Thank you.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I just Lit some Green. Doing my part to save Gaia.

        Oh,…nevermind then.

      • Not Adahn

        you’re supposed to lend it.

      • Trigger Hippie

        If they smell it, let them inhale it!

      • pan fried wylie

        And the Lord said, “Let he who dealt it, smellt’ ….wait, no, that’s not it, dude, stop laughing or I’m gonna start too…” and Lo, or something.

        Hence, easter eggs.

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      “Everything is freakishly sodden and swollen . . .”

      But enough about the Grauniad’s contributors’ sex lives . . .

  34. Winston

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/14/market-universities-crisis-staff-strike

    A flourishing higher education sector is critical to a nation’s economy and culture. That’s recognised by other countries, like Germany, which abolished tuition fees for undergraduates in public universities in 2014. Reducing university education to a conveyor belt for a narrow array of professions is a terrible error that we will all pay for. University should foster imagination and creativity, enriching society in the process. When university staff strike, they will be abandoning their lecture rooms and desks for a far greater cause than their own justified grievances. It is a battle that will help determine not just the future of our imperilled universities but our society and culture with it.

    • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

      Welcome to Costco, I love you.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I would say you need both. Most should use higher education as a vocational school. A few can use it to add to the stock of human knowledge.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I doubt the British people are in the mood to shed too many tears for a bunch of overpaid and entitled jackasses. Let ‘em strike.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      What proportion of Germans go to college? When I looked it up, I discovered that it was much lower than in the US. It’s almost like making it “free” will necessitate some rationing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t know about now, but it used to be that the German government decided what you were fit for based on your high school scores. You couldn’t just go to college and take philosophy if you scored like a union drone worker.

      • Chipwooder

        Pretty sure it’s still like that. I believe Germany has a large postgraduate vocational school system – many of the high school students who don’t qualify for college go to those.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Yep. To a somewhat lesser extent, the French do similar “streaming.” Also the Swiss — I knew a young lady who came to study at Uni in Edmonton, Canada because the government educational authorities in Switzerland would not let her apply to universities there. Turned out she was an excellent Uni student, and ended up doing grad and post-grad studies and now works as a geologist. Had she stayed in the Swiss post-secondary educational stream, Lord knows where she would’ve ended up . . .

      • Raven Nation

        Although not every government does things like the Germans do, the percentage of university students is generally lower and I’m pretty sure it’s not about tuition – at least not entirely. In Australia it was cultural in addition to academic. Leaving school at 15 to take an apprenticeship was not considered a failure. I would say we need fewer Americans going to college, not more.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I’ll agree that fewer people should go to college, but one of the big attractions of free college for young Americans is that everyone will now be able to go.

        Similarly, when my son was born in Austria, my wife shared a room with three other women. When our daughter was born in the US she had a private room. When Americans hear “free” they expect that they’ll still get the same level of service, which is going to make it impossible to drive down the cost via rationing like happens in other countries.

      • Raven Nation

        I don’t disagree. My comment was more on your point above about free being the main gateway. When I went to college in Oz, it actually was “free” as in no tuition. The % of people who went to college was below 20.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Out of curiosity, were room and board and books free too? Or was it only tuition.

        My understanding is that in Europe the student still needs to pay for those expenses, but because a lot of them live at home it’s not a problem.

      • Raven Nation

        Most lived at home b/c the major universities are in major cities. There were no dorms in the same way as in the US but “colleges” like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_College,_University_of_Queensland

        Friends of mine who did not live at home shared houses/apartments, etc.

        Books had to be paid for. But, there was a pretty robust second-hand book market.

        My main point – and I don’t think we’re in substantial disagreement – is that “free” college doesn’t necessarily push more people to go to college. At least not by itself. There is a substantial socio-cultural component.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I’m not disputing anything you’re saying. I was just picking your brain at this point. I think that the kids here who hear “free college” are missing a lot of details, like fewer kids going to college and only tuition being free, not books or living expenses. In my experience of paying for my son’s college at a Cal State University, the biggest expense is room and board. Tuition is only about $6K/year, which is a pretty good deal in my opinion. The other expenses are double that. People can do college pretty cheaply by going to a state school and living at home, but they have unrealistic expectations, and the politicians won’t do anything to dispel them.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We’re important! You need us!

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Look you can’t judge Japanese food with any rational metrics. My Japanese in-laws have thought nothing of bringing home “pizza” that has mayo, corn and tuna fish (like the canned kind, not the sushi kind).

    You can’t come up with anything too silly for them to try.

    • UnCivilServant

      But if I don’t judge, how will I learn enough to know that the biased juror should be allowed in?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Nukes.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Been tried. Didn’t work.

      • Tundra

        Arguably made it worse.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Moar, then. Burn out the evil.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        Whatever happened to neutron bombs? Ah, the good ol’ days . . .

      • Spudalicious

        I actually was okay with neutron bombs. Look at the reconstruction savings for the losing country. One could even say it’s being merciful by limiting the damage. I wouldn’t say that but one could.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Think of all the stuff that doesn’t get wrecked, great for the victors as well,

      • Spudalicious

        So a win-win, if you will.

      • Tres Cool

        Not so much, as many of the structures will become inherently radioactive. Neutrons have a way of doing that that good ol’ fashioned gamma rays dont.

        Also, the obligatory Mr. Neutron.

      • Spudalicious

        Buzz kill.

      • Rhywun

        ?

      • Count Potato

        “Pizza Hut Korea’s fall release, “Star Edge Pizza,” is shaped like a multi-pointed star with the points crammed full of cinnamon apple nut or cranberry-flavored cream cheese, and a surf and turf topping of sausage, shrimp, calamari, bacon, steak topping, and broccoli.”

        what?

      • Trigger Hippie

        And I’ve been led to believe that sweet pickle slices are also a favorite topping.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That pie on the right looks like it has cheese, meat, peppers, and…are those peaches? What the hell?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Beef Legend was my nickname in…oh, who am I kidding.

  36. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/the-implausible-claims-of-green-high-finance/

    or environmental activists, shaming has worked wonders in recent years. From nagging their families into submission over recycling, to reusable paper bags, to electric cars, lots of people who don’t really see what the fuss is about have acquiesced to the indignant crusades of their green friends. Virtue signaling is alive and well.

    During the year of St. Greta, another form of moral suasion seriously entered the environmentalist’s toolkit: flight shaming. Going beyond the obligation merely to reduce one’s own carbon footprint in whatever way possible (short of the most obviously effective way, that is), one now ought to actively shame others who make use of the despicable machines we call aircrafts. Never mind their benefits and never mind that they constitute a vanishingly small share (2–2.5 percent) of global emissions.

    Long March is working…

    • creech

      Good – let the kids self-boycott the airlines. More seat space for me. And where do all of them get the bucks to fly to vacations, given that their student loan burden is so oppressive?

  37. Spudalicious

    So we’re worried about Brett’s mouth virginity but not his ass? Is that the reason he went to Pennsylvania, or is that event already in the rear view mirror?

    • UnCivilServant

      He was interviewed for the post at Glibs by one Mr SMITH.

      • Trigger Hippie

        +1 Quaking Quaker

  38. Stinky Wizzleteats

    So, the Dow closed down over a thou? Fucking yikes, my poor 401k.

    • Spudalicious

      So it’s still over 28,000.

    • Spudalicious

      And if all your money is in the market, you’re doing it wrong.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not all of it but enough that this is making me antsy. I’m not going to eat my losses though, at least not yet.

      • Spudalicious

        It needs a correction. Do you have stop losses in place?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t, I’ve always managed it myself. It’s too late now I guess. I’ve managed to do pretty well long term but the short term corrections can catch me by surprise.

    • AlmightyJB

      It needed to go down. Next paycheck you’ll be buying at a more reasonable price.

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      I am increasingly of the opinion that the next 18 months may end up being a right proper instantiation of the ancient Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times” regardless of where in the world you live.

      • Tres Cool

        11?
        You’re using your kids to further your agenda. She’s no better than Greta.

  39. AlmightyJB

    Great. Now I can spend two minutes trying to get a slice of mayo out of its plastic wrapper, instead of 2 seconds spooning it out of a jar. And I can pay 20 times as much.

    • Tres Cool

      See also: SPAM™ slices

  40. Tundra

    Minnesota Poll: Voters split on Trump heading into 2020 election

    They try hard to make to look ho hum, but then there’s this:

    In Hennepin and Ramsey counties, seven in ten voters disapprove of Trump’s performance. But in the metro suburbs, which are expected to be heavily targeted by both parties this November, 54 % voiced approval. The president’s support was strongest in southern Minnesota, where nearly six in ten voters approve of his performance. Voters in northern Minnesota were evenly split, 48% to 48%.

    The suburbs were part of the dem house victories. An even split in northern Minne is amazing. There was a time when the donks would dominate.

    Two scoops barely lost last time. This is gonna be interesting.

    • Spudalicious

      I hope he wins the popular vote so that all the proggy states that voted to give their electoral votes to to popular winner have to give them to Trump.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        The popular vote agreement only takes effect if enough states agree to it, and even then it’s unlikely they’ll stick to the it if the wrong candidate wins, because it will just be “too important”.

    • Winston

      You Know Which other Republican President won Minnesota?

      • Brochettaward

        Hitler?

      • Tundra

        Eisenhower.

  41. AlmightyJB

    Would Jameela Jamil. Reporter sounds like a jealous stalking Cunte.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Me too, because boobs. But I looked her up on IMDB after watching The Good Place, and the description of her makes her sound crazy. Then some of her tweets popped up in my Twitter feed and confirmed that she’s crazy.

  42. creech

    That was quite an emotional 3 hr. memorial for baseballer Joe Altobelli, his wife, and daughter, and “the six others” killed in the L.A. copter crash. R.I.P.

    • Spudalicious

      The guy friend of my wife’s BFF was a football coach at Golden West. The baseball coach was a good friend.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sanders was fairly good on guns when he was content with holding a senatorial position from mostly rural Vermont. As you’d expect, his national office aspirations have caused his views on the issue to “evolve” meaning he didn’t believe a damn thing he was saying.

      • Rhywun

        See also: Michael Bloomberg, who is veering sharply to the left of where he was just a few years ago on every issue other than guns (he was already there).

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, him too but he stands a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the nomination unless it’s handed to him which it very well may be.

  43. pan fried wylie

    Mammary Monday definitely wants to broker your convention.

    “If your convention lasts more than 4 hours…”

    • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

      “. . . call the police.”

  44. leon

    So Trump just sits back and watched as Modi has 100 Muslims executed in from of him. What kind of president did we elect?

    • Jarflax

      Link? Not sure what you are refering to.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m fairly certain that’s a joke, I think that’d be pretty big news.

      • Jarflax

        I’d think that but it is a joke I’d expect from one of the more pro Trump folk here. I have leon mentally tallied as one of the not at all a Trump fan folks. Maybe I am wrong.

      • leon

        Woops. Forgot I left this joke here. I don’t know why but the idea of a president just sitting by and watching an execution struck me as oddly funny.

        You probably have me nailed.

    • Mojeaux

      I voted for Aleppo.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Who’s that?

      • Gender Traitor

        The forgotten Marx Brother.

      • Winston

        Why A Duck?

      • Trigger Hippie

        What’s Why A Duck?

        /butter-knife sharp

  45. straffinrun

    How many people will think Bloomberg got convicted of rape today(((?)))

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      What is (((?))) The Jewish question?

      • hayeksplosives

        You know who had the Final Solution to the Jewish question?

      • Ted S.

        Regis Philbin?

      • hayeksplosives

        He had the Final Ansah, Not the Final Solution.

      • Tundra

        The Lincoln Dell.

        I was a faithful customer of the Bloomington location.

      • Tundra

        Del.

      • Tres Cool

        Rabbi Hymon Finetuckus ?

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Pontius Pilate?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Edwin Hubble?

      • Spudalicious

        Larry King?

      • Jarflax

        The (((?))):

        What the everloving hell? Seriously? You Goys are going to use us as the scapegoat AGAIN? Don’t you idiots ever stop to think maybe it is your own damn fault?

      • Tundra

        What do you mean “You Goys”.

        *drops gloves*

      • Jarflax

        Fake news, Jews don’t ice skate, and hockey players break their ankles when they try to fight off the ice.

      • Tundra

        Wrong.

        But I was taking offense at “You Goys”, as it’s too close to “You People”, second only to “pal”.

        Carry on.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m not your friend, guy.

      • Tundra

        Thanks, TH.

        I’m not your friend, buddy!

      • Spudalicious

        I’m not your buddy, pal.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’M NOT YOUR GUY, FRIEND!

      • Tundra

        I’m not your friend, cupcake.

        /awkward

      • hayeksplosives

        I invoked my best calm Canadian polite inner self today while driving, fought back the road rage, and said cheerfully “Nice turn signal, buddy!”

        I really did feel better than if I had said “WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DRIVE, FUCKFACE?”

        I am going to try this fake-it-til-you-make-it thing on my moods.

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        I invoked my best calm Canadian polite inner self today . . .

        You’ve not actually met a lot of Canadians, have you?

      • We're not saying BEAM's an alien, but . . .

        And those are just the hosers from central, northern and northwestern Ontario.

        We got six thousand kilometres from coast-to-coast of people every bit as, uh, colourful as that or worse.

        Yanks. You guys kill me sometimes.

      • Spudalicious

        Sounds good.

  46. Mojeaux

    Mayo: +1
    Miracle Whip: +1
    Spin Blend: +1
    cheap hot dogs: -1
    Velveeta: +1 scrambled eggs and nachos
    chicken nuggets: -1
    lemon curd: +1,000,000
    lemon pudding: do in a pinch
    ball park hot dogs: +1
    pat of sauce on QuikTrip cheeseburgers: +1
    $30/lb Spanish goat cheese: +1 taste, -1 cost
    Shirley Temple poke cake: orgasmic

  47. Lackadaisical

    This waitress is very comely.

    If I want married and also a giant pussy… also, the son got the flu. poor kid. also my poor wife.

    Anything worth searching out to drink in Mississippi in terms of beer?

    • Lackadaisical

      if I wasn’t married rather. .. that changes the meaning quite a bit.

    • Shpip

      Whenever I’m there, Lazy Magnolia has worked for me.