Definitely not GlibFit approved.
So if you live in the Chicago area, or have a satellite location nearby, you know the Devil’s spawn called “Nuts on Clark”. Friendly smiles, gourmet popcorn, and evil personified. I told the two girls working behind the counter that they were evil and should be ashamed of themselves. I then picked up a box or caramel corn and stuck it in the basket. It only lasted a couple of days, and now it’s sitting on my gut. It doesn’t help that it’s the best caramel corn I’ve ever eaten.
Even with the world dying from the unstoppable coronavirus, it’s still a slow news day, but that will not deter me from the Links!
They’re not sending us their best.
Much inclusion, many tolerance.
Five links is more than Brett, so I guess I’m done. How about some tunes? A blast from the past, comedy flamenco.
And a little Grateful Dawg.
I tried watching an NBA game, but couldn’t get past the beginning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoLvlKPyY_Q
First?! Woooo!
The beginning of an NBA game, by John Tesh no less
They never run out of Coronavirus stories.
https://www.foxnews.com/world/coronavirus-quarantine-hotel-collapses-in-china-trapping-70-people
My favorite Coronavirus story was Weird Al refusing to do a coronavirus parody of My Sharona.
That is so funny, I was thinking about My Corona as a song earlier today:)
Cheech and Chong parodied it as “My Scrotum”.
He already parodied My Sharona. It was his first hit.
It’s been done by Styxhexenhammer already:
https://youtu.be/cyRpzcN_S44
She pulled that stunt in Texas?? And nowhere near Austin??
Yeah, you can kinda see Denver.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/denver-councilwoman-tweets-solidarity-for-spreading-coronavirus-at-trump-rallies
A) I’m sure she’s not the only one who has thought of that. Just the first one stupid enough to say it out loud.
B) if politicians think it’s going to be business as usual for them when every other mass event is canceled or postponed, they’re delusional. So they’re probably thinking it’s BAU.
Umm…
Yeah.
Any time people say “late-phase capitalism”, I know to start questioning every other thing they say (or ignoring it).
I’m still working my way through “Das Kapital” so that I can understand my enemies.
I think hitting myself in the head with a sledgehammer would be less painful and a more productive use of my time.
I’m stubborn and not very smart. I will finish “Das Kapital”.
I made it through the Communist Manifesto… I don’t think I could make it through Das Kapital.
Based on what some folks have told me, I think my copy of “Das Kapital” is abridged. There’s nothing on the copy stating it is abridged.
You got to the part where Marx hammers Malthus? That’s worth reading the whole book.
No, not yet. I’m on money. It’s been slow going.
“Let me explain to you how this works: you see, the corporations finance Team America, and then Team America goes out… and the corporations sit there in their… in their corporation buildings, and… and, and see, they’re all corporation-y… and they make money.”
-Tim Robbins, as portrayed in Team America: World Police
MATT DAMON
-Matt Damon, as portrayed in Team America: World Police
How Matt Damon Really Feels About Team America: World Police
https://www.cinemablend.com/news/1536259/how-matt-damon-really-feels-about-team-america-world-police
***
I was always kind of bewildered by Team America, I think because it’s hard for us to understand what our images are in public, I think we’re not good judges of that, and when I saw myself on screen just only able to say my own name and not really that well, I kind of wondered “Wow, is that how people perceive me?” At that point I just kind of was like, I’m a screenwriter and an actor, and like really? I can barely say my own name? So I was always bewildered by that, and I never talked to Trey and Matt about that. And incidentally, I believe those two are geniuses, and I don’t use that word lightly. I think they are absolute geniuses, and what they’ve done is awesome and I’m a big fan of theirs, but I never quite understood that one. But I will say this. Those of us who were parodied in that video were parodied because we were against the Iraq war, and we went on the record against that War, and so history is on my side not theirs.
***
[head desk]
tl:dr version – Matt Damon is an onion of parody
Anyone who speaks of “late-stage capitalism” is an apologist for deprivation, poverty, brutality, and slavery; whether they are intelligent enough to realize it, though, is another matter.
“community ownership of …labor”
Fuck off, slaver.
She pulled that stunt in Texas??
Yeah, when I read that, I kept thinking “How did she manage to survive long enough to resign?” Then I realized the resignation was probably a survival move.
And yet I still having people ask me in earnest “How can anyone vote for Trump?”
It is a mystery. A real brain buster.
Anyone who says it cant happen here is lying to themselves.
Bought a chest freezer today but won’t be in until the end of the week. We’ll see. Was supposed to have bought one a couple of months ago but didn’t have the garage finished to put it in.
Why would you want to freeze your chest?
Or was it someone else’s you wanted to freeze?
Either way, you should probably just chill.
Sounds like he needs to cool off.
This is a cold one.
A buddy of mine mentioned that he bought a chest freezer. When he also mentioned that he was going out to pick up some fava beans and a nice chianti I quietly backed out of the room and then blocked him e-mail address.
No favs beans or Chianti!
Update on Dad’s throat cancer. Has not spread and was caught early. Options were remove vocal box or treat. He chose treat.
That’s good news indeed! I hope the treatment is successful – and not too uncomfortable.
Best wishes.
Fingers crossed. That can be a difficult road but it is curable.
That’s great news. I’d go with treat too. Living without a larynx would be awful. In grad school we learned about some of the options with speaking post laryngectomy and they are really crummy options: electrolarynx or essentially burping to speak, which takes a lot of effort. Good luck to him with his treatment.
My father in law had that. He beat it and was completely cancer free.
My best wishes for your father. Keep your chin up.
Same here with the mother in law. 25 years ago and she’s still trucking along. Hope OBE’s father has the same outcome.
That’s good advice. Easier to check his own throat that way.
My dad likewise. Prostate cancer, then 10-12 years later, throat cancer. He beat them both.
Caught early is a big deal. Best wishes for a successful outcome, Ownbestenemy!
Good luck to your father.
Hoping for a good outcome.
Best wishes!
A friend’s father was just diagnosed with throat cancer as well. I have nothing but the best wishes for her dad and yours!
“I ain’t playing,” James continued. “I ain’t got the fans in the crowd. That’s who I play for. I play for my teammates. I play for the fans. That’s what it’s all about. If I show up to an arena and there are no fans in there, I ain’t playing. They can do what they want to do.”
What about the people watching on TV?
He can’t hear them cheering for him, so screw ’em.
And people wonder why Cleveland didn’t give a shit when he left for the second time.
Wonder what his paycheck would look like if it came only from ticket sales?
There is a bitchfest from German spectators complaining about recently-introduced Monday night soccer games – banners, silent protests in the stands, etc.
Someone apparently hasn’t told them that their presence is a drop in the bucket of overall revenue. Of course it’s mostly antifa-types that infest the supporters groups in Europe (and increasingly, America) so I guess it’s no surprise they have zero understanding of such things.
I thought they dropped the Monday night games (at least in the 1. Bundesliga) after last year.
Huh, you’re right. Fuck the majority who prefer the convenience of televised games, I guess.
I think the Monday night games are at a more inconvenient time for us in the US. 😉
DVR FTW
Mosin-Nagant M24 Mad Minute
On his third try, the Bloke got 15 rounds in a minute. He had trouble with the rifle.
Cool SKS furniture.
https://youtu.be/c8dtyASRSvw
Hmm… That seems a bit fancy for a SKS.
Do not want.
Just buy a damn AK people.
I already have enough AK’s, Galil’s, and VZ-58’s. The only upgrade I like on an SKS are the 20 round fixed magazine (no need to run the magazine dry to load another 10 round stripper clip) and possibly a peep rear sight.
*Unconsciously rubs right thumbnail after watching the stripper clip loading*
So…FULL
semi-automaticbolt-action?Population of NY: 20 Million. Guess Cuomo wants some of those sweet federal billions.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/coronavirus-new-york-update-cuomo-state-emergency
Plus the usual “price gouging” horseshit.
“The Price of Hand-Sanitizer Is Too Damn High!”
Might as well get out in front of the price gouging accusations by rationing products to zero.
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/06/ebay-bans-sales-of-all-face-masks-and-hand-sanitizers.html
So fucking stupid.
This made me laugh.
https://babylonbee.com/news/despite-cdc-warning-biden-cant-stop-touching-other-peoples-faces
You made me open a bottle of Elijah Craig
Barrel Proof can be used as hand sanitizer.
Glad I could be of some inspiration?
I’m still sipping some Elijah Craig myself:)
Was torn between EC and Evan Williams. You swayed the decision.
?
And you made me pour a couple fingers of New Riff.
mmmmm… caramel corn.
With cashews, please.
PoppyCock is my #2. This has no nuts in it, just perfect popcorn and caramel.
Heh, you said cock.
Make your own caramel: Remove the paper label from a can of sweetened, condensed milk and place in boiling water for 3 hours.
Then while still hot drizzle over popcorn while you stir the popcorn around.
After 20 mins check your blood sugar.
That’s Dulce de Leche, a bit different then caramel.
Yep, caramel can be made from butter, Brown sugar and a little corn syrup (prevents crystallization)
Someone needs to bring back the snack with the best product name ever.
We always used to get those for campouts when I was a kid in the late 60s. Loved the “Yellow Submarine”-style illustrations on the box. I knew they were intended for hippies but wasn’t quite old enough to realize they were stoner munchies.
Wow did I love those.
Fuck you Conagra. I knew Cargill was better.
No sign of ’em on Walgreen’s website. : (
It’s unbelievable how much crap Conagra makes. Like, half the junk in the middle aisles of your supermarket.
They fucked up Hebrew National for sure.
ConAgra must be the ‘higher power’ Hebrew National answers to, as they reference in their commercials.
Hey?! I own Conagra stock…. LEAVE CONAGRA ALONE! *cries*
Enh, the only reason I know about them is because I buy too much of that stuff.
A little something to keep in reserve, just in case.
Since I posted in a dead thread I will repost
Re: Crusty’s dog ate the heart
I have told this story before.
An old fella that grew up with my grandfather lived adjacent to some property we inherited from my grandfather. He was old, a widower and no one would go near him so I used to check in on him two or three times per year.
He was a world war II vet that fought in France and Germany. When he came home he became a sheriff’s deputy and then was elected Constable. He was always bragging about how many people he had killed both in the war and here while on the job. Every time I would visit he would let me know he always carried a gun, then he would pull it out and wave it around then point it at me “See? Here it is right here. I keep this with me all of the time. It’s right here, see? ”
“Yes James, I see it, I have one too. Now put it away and stop putting that thing ini my face. ”
I will see who can figure out why he never had anyone else visit him.
He had the meanest dog I have ever seen. It was a big Catahoula that had three legs and one eye. I am not making this up. That son of a bitch would go wild when you came to the fence, barking, growling and slavering everywhere just dying to get at you. You had to wait until James came out and crated him just to get in the yard. Really, it was like some stereotype out of a movie. Mean old killer with a one eyed, three legged killer dog living in the middle of the Louisiana woods. A horror flick come to life.
Anyway, one day James went in his yard to pick up pecans and had a stroke. He fell dead on the spot. Since James very rarely had visitors it was three weeks before anyone found him. There was no one to feed that mean old bastard cur for three weeks. Except James. Guess who found him.
Sleep tight tonight and have sweet dreams.
I went on a report of a dead body once. You could smell him from the apartment complex parking lot. I had to breath on the resuscitator so I could go in. Yep, dead for several days. His white Pomeranian had a bloody mouth and he only had one eye.
This made me laugh. Does that make me a bad person?
It got a *snort* out of me.
The dog had to eat something. I fully expects my cats to go to town on me should I expire in the house without anyone knowing for any significant length of time.
Where’s Marie Prevost when we need her?
Oh, here.
+1 Ghost of Lucius Clay
+1 Berlin Airlift
one eyed, three legged killer dog.
Got one myself.
I just made lobster ravioli and alfredo sauce for Jugsy.
LETS GO FLYERS !
LET’S GO FLYERS!!!
I’m a bit surprised that after bringing College Game Day to town, ESPN isn’t showing it on one of their usual cable/satellite channels.
ESPN+….Im kind surprised too
I was always amused that there’s been several times that the NCAA scheduled games in Cleveland on 3/17. As if the traffic and people downtown weren’t bad enough already.
Sausage and veggie risotto here. And Dallas v. New York.
spaghetti night here. Yum.
Pork chips and artichokes cooking here.
You should have thrown in some crisp bacon and made it Carbonara sauce.
I am about to dive headfirst into the whole, unknown to me before, universe of Carbonara sauces. I think I am going to like it.
It’s a wonderful world full of peasant sauces.
What tipped me off was an earlier discussion here about it and further research revealed that there are a thousand different recipes and each one from someone screaming theirs is the only proper way to do it. I am gonna try making them all and sort that out.
My personal favorite involves a cajun spiced bacon, eggs, and parmesan. Of course, I also make my mac and cheese with a bacon based roux, and smoked cheddar, so what do I know?
Carbonara Romana. The way they make it in Rome. Had it three times in a week while in Rome last fall. I will never pollute my Carbonara ever again with cream. It’s just unholy. The genuine recipe involves pork cheek meat (guanciale), egg yolks, and Pecorino Romano.
Bella!
It’s like Jambalaya. Started out as a delicious way to make a meal out of what is on hand for working people, ended up with rich people fighting about the ‘proper’ recipe.
“I am gonna try making them all and sort that out.”
That is an article I would read {hint, hint}
Cream sauces > red sauces
?
I like what tastes good. All of it tastes good.
Boss coffee and a doughnut.
When it comes to popcorn and treats, a regular treat here in Cleveland is Campbell’s. They also have a cupcake line and a chocolate line.
/notices they’ve added new flavors.
/drinks to try to forget that.
Why Berlin’s 15 Year-Old Airport has Never Had a Flight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll58ZrIupKA
comment gold: It´s probably faster and cheaper to find a working Airport and build Berlin next to it
They’re fighting climate change.
/I’m Gretel and I approve this message
I dont remember which is which but the. Spanish and the Italians recently built 1) A battleship that would not float, and 2) a submarine that could not come to the surface.
Fuckin’ Eurotards.
And to think they’re the ones who were always telling Polack jokes about submarines with screen doors.
Nowadays the Poles would kick both their asses.
You are thinking of the Argies…. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-46245686
Nobody makes battleships anymore.
The Germans have a bit of trouble with the ol’ Kreigsmarine, https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2018/02/german-navy-experiences-lcs-affect-in-spades-as-new-frigate-fails-sea-trials/
Almost as bad as the Bolivian Air Force.
Bolivia has like three planes, one from the 1940s. It is most frequently used by being rented to Hollywood. Source, former Bolivian air force captain that was a grad school colleague.
Word is, they all crashed into a mountain.
Wow.
You know who could have got a damn airport built?
Ross Perot?
Bechtel?
Denver – and for a long time no one thought that SOB would ever open.
They had to install the secret (((Masonic Illuminati))) meeting room and the mind control apparatus in the bronco statue. Some years ago people I work with hired a guy to do some social media stuff for them and he was a full on 911 truther, gay frogs, chemtrails, and yes, Denver Airport, conspiracy nut. Also a full blown anti semite, (((Zionist Conspiracy))) going to enslave us all and rape/kill babies in secret rites. Funnily enough at about teh same time the same people hired a Conservative Jew, IDF vet… There was not enough popcorn.
That thing is a monster.
Wait… Denver has an airport within 15 minutes of the city? When did this happen?
German efficiency.
Flights are schedule to move from TXL to BER later this year.
“Bob and the other builders…”
LOL
“they say.”
(((They))) say.
Yeah. If a cop pinky swears they won’t violate your rights then surely there is nothing to worry about.
/Dunphy
There’s still something wrong with this site. WTF am I supposed to click on!?
Q’s links?
Stop looking at titties, that shit is addicting! You see what’s happened to him!?
Every so often I click just out of idle curiosity. Then I wallow in despair and eat through my feelings of inadequacy.
You shouldn’t feel inadequate. All sizes are wonderful:) Seriously they are.
The more sizes the better…
Oh for God’s sake. Those girls are all stamped out of a cookie cutter by the same plastic surgeon. I promise you it aint gonna last and on top of that they are all nuttier than a squirrel turd. You should be breathing a sigh of relief. Be thankful you aren’t one of them.
Stand up straight, keep your chin up and look people in the eye. You are just fine.
I was (mostly) kidding about the feelings of inadequacy. Mostly I wonder why the heck grown women apparently aren’t supposed to have pubic hair anymore, ’cause there is no way I am going along with that.
“I like a big bush”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCJZij74-J0
I like them french fried taters, too. Mmmm,Hhmmm.
If it’s any consolation to you I rarely click on those links because from my experience I have generally found women who look like that are about as approachable as a Nazi Tiger tank with all guns blazing and just as fun to be around.
Meh… I’ve got the internet to find my preferences, I don’t need to click on random links.
In spin class news, I’ve learned having the fit girl be more demanding for an hour actually tires me out (I’ve actually got sore legs today). I’ve signed up for the next hour long performance class.
Save it for Glibfit.
Silicone Saturday is bursting at the seams with pillowy pleasure.
http://archive.li/6IkZC
I’d like to hang out with #3.
Yep
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESe9KPBU4AAFWnR?format=jpg&name=900×900
LOL
I giggled
Ya, that was an excellent re.
Obama!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIOSynZIaw
Would
Good grief, what an imbecile.
Oh was there sound?
“A girl that cute should have a McAfee tee on”
Catchy. Better than Bloomberg’s meme attempts.
Down thread video:
https://twitter.com/i/status/1236165348413575168
Some hate Bird action.
*thunderous applause*
Hawt
Now I know why half the properties on Zillow are now in foreclosure. Try searching the intertoobz about how much house you can afford. Half the sites tell me $790,000 and the other ones tell me $499,000.
Let me tell you, as not a financial expert or adviser, if you do not like the idea of foreclosure, and like the idea of being able to eat and afford gas to drive to work? Learn to do your own math. DO NOT listen to people who obviously cannot do math. And Bernie is NOT going to save your broke ass.
This.
Oh, and if you can’t put 20% down, you can’t afford the house.
And always remember to add in taxes and insurance to your monthly cost.
And realistic maintenance costs. If your house is 60 years old, unless it’s been renovated by someone who knows what they’re doing, expect to run into all sorts of things.
*nods knowingly*
*sigh*
Have I explained here yet that when my grandparents bought the house I live in it was a two room shack in the 1930s. Now it is a 7 room home, all expansion handcrafted by my grandfather. Unfortunately he was a butcher by trade, not a home builder.
That’s not true. You certainly don’t want to spend the money the bank says you can afford though. Just do the freakin’ math.
Agreed. We did the minimum down to get a regular mortgage. Of course, we bought a house well within budget and at a low point in the market. The last owners took a big loss.
Yeah, I didn’t have 20% down but was well within our budget and well under what the bank was willing to loan us. I was pretty pissed when the housing market crashed and the Democrats wanted me to pay off the loans of people who bought houses that were 50k+ more than they should have spent because of the low Interest or zero interest ARMS with balloon payment games that were going on. I did my homework, why should I have to subsidize people who didn’t? Same story over and over. Do what your supposed to and get fucked. Do what you shouldn’t and get rewarded.
/Joins in the chorus.
I put less then 10% down, mainly because I qualified for a less then 4% APY mortgage. I had the 20%, but it was in the market. I’d rather leave it there, letting it grow, while I pay down a mortgage I got on the cheap. The house I got was ~40% of what I was approved for.
I’m surprised PMI didn’t push you closer to break even.
I bought at the bottom of the market as well. That helped a lot.
20% down WITHOUT completely emptying your liquid reserves. You will have unexpected expenses in your life. They are not less likely to come up when you just drained everythingbuying a house you can barely pay for.
An old coworker of mine got burned by that. Right after buying their house, they had to get the basement dug out to replace a sewage drain that had cracked.
As someone who spent a week in the hospital less than two weeks after moving into my house, yeah, things happen.
Hype, if you want in on this area, we’re going on the market first week of April. We’re fixing the potential nasty surprise and putting new finishes in everywhere. Probably listing around $450k.
Oh, and it comes with the trashy guarantee… I guarantee that there are fewer blankets shoved into crevices to hide leaky plumbing than when we moved in.
As long as it’s not VA. I don’t want to have a boating accident really soon.
I know a guy who bragged to me that he spent 1M on a house.
“You spent 1M on a house in Alexandria, Louisiana???? If I pay that much for a house I want to see the beach from my kitchen window.”
You should have seen the look on the guy’s face. I felt guilty a bit but I couldn’t help myself.
Also, who brags about how much they paid for a house? (Unless they got a smokin’ deal)
The girlfriend didn’t understand why I was annoyed that she asked my sister what she payed for her new house.
In my culture, you never asked what someone paid for anything.
#metoo.
Especially since it’s a matter of public record. FFS, all you have to do is pull up Zillow!
Haha! Right?
Her family all thought it was normal to ask what you paid for the house. Mine is the opposite…
Not my culture either. Don’t ask anybody what they paid for anything. And don’t tell anybody what you paid for something.
Please tell me it was one in the redevelopment of England AFB.
You were in Chicago and you didn’t have beer with Swiss? It’s like I don’t know you.
I’ll be in Chicago next weekend to see my son, but I may be amenable to meeting up with local Glibs.
Rod Blagojevich is available, I hear.
Do as I say not as I do!
And then drugs fell out of her ass
Damn it I haven’t been on for a while.
Its ok:) not everyone might have seen it.
First I’ve seen it. Hilarious. The outro was nice touch.
I saw that yesterday.
In fairness I would point out that she probably did more of a service by illustrating how unconscious habits like touching your face are easy to do. Maybe people will be a little more self-aware about it.
It looks like it wont matter. In the end we are all going to catch the damned thing. Slowing it down until there is a vaccine is the best we can do.
Good thing about everyone on the train wearing masks? I can let the SBD dawgs of war loose. Kimchi, gyoza and beers last night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyrK7CCF5yU
?
50 ft long robot snake, with saddle for riding:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkXMTW2hOvI
Could this lead to some horrible Planet of the Robot Snakes? In the opinion of this alarmist, the answer is yes.
Let me take a moment to remind our mechanical serpent overlords that trusted humans like me can be useful in herding others to toil in your underground charging stations
BTW, nice work on the Bloomberg parody.
[grateful bow]
I was really hoping to get more of a response for the clawjob joke. It seemed so funny at the time.
Speaking of TP hoarding apparently it is not only in the states.
Australia is the first place I heard of that.
Then a few days later I was at the drugstore gazing at the usual gigantic displays of the stuff. SMDH
Stupid
I went shopping today, plenty of toilet paper and hand sanitizer.
Hrmph.
I’mma repeat myself from the last thread because I missed the post train.
Y’ever have tasks that you succeed at but it’s not the result you wanted?
Chicken = good. But not orange chicken like at Hy-Vee orange chicken. Little bit too hot for orange chicken, not enough orange, and not hot or flavorful enough for General Tso’s. Recipe was badly written too. It’s good…something chicken.
Sewing machine = got it running. But I couldn’t get a cat-pee stain out of the thing I was sewing without bleach and now it has a bright spot. Can’t bleach the rest of it because it’s cotton and it’s got bright colors.
Male cat pee? Never try to save anything with male cat pee in it. You might as well just set it on fire.
No, female. From 20 years ago.
I had made a pillow out of some pretty fabric. I hand-quilted the top (I’m a snob about quilting). In one of my decluttering jags, I cut the pillow top out and saved it (today I just wanted to zig-zag around the edges). I didn’t know she’d peed on it until some time later.
I washed it. It didn’t make any difference, it was going in the keepsakes box.
I’ve been going through keepsakes lately because of the move and TODAY I found one of my cats sniffing at it.
Yeah, no, that fucker’s getting pre-treated and bleached and then washed in a regular cycle. I used Dawn first. That worked somewhat, but not enough, hence the tiny cap full of bleach very carefully applied. Rinse, throw in with the rest of the dirty clothes.
Let me also just say that in the last 20 years, getting that thing clean and the edges bound has not exactly been my number one priority.
Today it was.
I’ve had several test recipes that have never made it out of my kitchen. It was decent, but I wasn’t going to offer it to someone else.
Even Alton has let me down once or twice.
My biggest shame was when I did a tropical fruit tiramisu. I did a cream filling with cream, banana, mango, and papaya. The problem was that I soaked the ladyfingers in Meyer’s Dark Rum. They managed to soak up almost a whole bottle for an 11×13 pan. I took one bite, and it tasted of cream and raw rum.
Hot smoked corned beef…if I eat anymore I’m going to get meat sweats
Nature’s Miracle for cat piss – it works (slowly, but it works)
Jugsy’s truck had a pinhole in the right rear brake line. I rigged it with a piece of new, and a couple compression fittings. I went to bleed the air out, and I stripped the bleeder (not broke, for once). In the interest of saving $65 for a new caliper, I bought a repair kit. And since it needed a 1/8″ tap, thats the one I couldnt find. So a trip to Harbor Freight. I tap it out, and put in a ‘replacement bleeder’ that never sealed. I cant get pressure in the back line. Tomorrow after church, Im going to get a replacement caliper (which I shoulda done) and fix it right.
It got you a trip to Harbor Freight so sounds like a win to me!
I hope you have pickle juice on standby.
“not orange chicken like at Hy-Vee orange chicken”
So, PriceChopper standard?
Aum Shinrikyo member confirmed.
*sigh*
Anyway, guess I’ll call it an early one. Bye, everybody!
Not before explaining what the hell you are talking about I hope.
I’m assuming response to comment 23.
Aaaaah, did you crop dust the lot of them?
Right!?
Still… good one.
A (((mom))) quoted in the Sunday paper: “My son says Bernie’s the one with the Jewish values; he’s the one who’s lived all his life that way.”
Not being a member of the (((tribe))), but knowing some of you are, what Jewish values comport with the swill Bernie is serving?
Guilt and angst.
Priest and Rabbi walking down the street and see a young boy. Priest: “Wanna fuck him?” Rabbi: “Outta what?”
ZING!
I love jokes that provide maximum offense.
Alternate:
Two priests are walking down the street and come upon a young boy.
The End.
So an altar boy is asked to fill in on the confessional for a priest. If he runs into anything he doesn’t know the answer to, he’s supposed to ask one of the other altar boys. The first person in the confessional is sitting there and confessing to both committing and receiving oral sex. The altar boy steps out of the booth, and asks one of the other altar boys what the priest usually gives for oral sex. The other altar boy responds, “A Baby Ruth.”
I have no idea. Maybe he’s honest about his beliefs?
Coronavirus confirmed in my county! Gonna saran wrap the house and self isolate. Can’t afford to miss my vacation in a week.
Stop bragging.
*pulls out hand sanitizer*
Gun Jesus’s book is shipping.
I haven’t received my e-mail notifications yet. Next week maybe?
My company set up a hotline recording for checking of the plant is open or if it’s been obliterated by coronavirus yet.
The info I am getting is spotty, all over the place and very suspect. How bad is this stuff? Some die, but they are old or compromised immune systems. Most who catch it are asymptomatic. Some feel like a regular cold, some like the flu…some…I dont know.
I think the biggest problem with it is the panic.
Based on what I’ve seen, I’d put it as equivalent to the flu, but with the media hyping it up.
For sure the panic is the worst of it. My fear is only that the govt will expand powers or limit freedom using this as an excuse.
With all the soap shortages, I do wonder what people were using to wash up before…
Here’s a pretty good summary with symptoms and morbidity and mortality rates:
https://www.livescience.com/new-coronavirus-compare-with-flu.html
It ain’t the flu but it ain’t ebola either.
Yep. The unknown is scary so let’s get scared.
My company has travel restrictions and mandates working from home for folks that have been in China or in contact with folks that have been in China.
Look, Bounty paper towels are the best paper towels and they are, in fact, worth my weight in gold.
Viva. Fight me.
Agreed. We’re a Viva household. Amazon subscribe and save, by the case.
Viva paper towels are so sturdy they can be rinsed and squeezed out to make a few more passes at a cleaning job.
Good aids in painting too (art on canvas painting).
Better than an old sock?
Right?? I’ve tried the rest and they just don’t compare.
Best Buy or GTFO. I am cheap.
I buy the cheapies for 1/4 the price and use 2X as much.
Trust me; the math works out.
+1 Dollar General house brand
Dollar store paper plates are the worst.
Wow, yeah. They make better paper towels than plates.
I use them for cooking – they’re useless for eating off of but great for temporary ingredient storage and such.
But, you’d have to go in to a Dollar General.
FDS
Feh, not around here. Maybe 1/2 price if there’s a sale.
OTOH I only buy my Bounties on sale so yeah I am sensitive to the price.
I am a cheap ass bastard. I save twist ties. I wash and reuse zip-lock bags. Single use grocery bags get at least 2 uses. Old t-shirts and underwear become rags.
But I do not cheap out on toilet paper, paper towels, car tires, or oil filters.
I’m slowly learning not to cheap out on Makita off-brand batteries.
Yep. Checks out.
HM is just an ass-bastard.
Bounty used to the the go to, until they started cutting down the width. They don’t stay on the towel dispenser like they used. Brawny does so that’s we get.
Viva for the dog. Too cloth like for paper towel use.
And blue towels for the slop sink in the laundry room.
Kocktopus confirmed!
At least they didn’t put the pornstache on the Brawny Chick.
I like the Brawny quarter sheets, cuz I’m frugal.
That’s what we have.
A failure to communicate?
Yep, love them quarter sheets. Plus they tear so easily and perfectly.
My wife says she doesn’t like them (most likely just not used to them yet) so I have to buy them while she’s away on business trips.
Hate the quarter sheets. HATE.
Bounty can be rinsed out and re-used as well.
Mojeaux speaks troof.
I only buy the select-a-size. By far the most use they get is as napkins, followed by rags to wipe oil or sweat off my face. Then kitchen use.
Can someone please enter a zip code and see if this Anchor Brewing beer finder site is broke or if it’s just me?
I swear, you won’t get Rick-rolled.
Broken
Thanks, Rhy’.
Now I’ll never know!
Broken for me as well. But since Anchor Brewing is owned by Sapporo, you should be able to find it nearby.
Ahh. Did not know that. Well, Tundra already confirmed I can get it in the Twin Cities. I will make a concerted effort to look around here more. One bad habit I have is looking primarily in the coolers. It’s very possible Anchor is on the room temp shelves and I just haven’t noticed it.
#metoo
Guess who’s walking to work in Shibuya with a pink Hello Kitty umbrella? Kid took mine this morning. 🙁
Hitler?
*Markers in stache on kitty Chan*
Ja?
Good find.
…wohl.
Consult with the Dept of Lost Umbrellas:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200114-why-japan-is-so-successful-at-returning-lost-property
***
Lost umbrellas, on the other hand, are rarely retrieved by their owners. Of the 338,000 handed in to Lost Property in Tokyo in 2018, only 1% found their way back to their owner. The vast majority – about 81% – were claimed by the finder, which is a peculiarity in itself. In fact, the profligacy of umbrellas can work the other way. Knowing that many people would forget to claim their umbrella, Satoshi, a former resident of Suginami-ku, Tokyo, says he would trick Lost Property into handing one over if he was caught out in the rain. Satoshi would describe the most common umbrella – the clear plastic ones sold at every convenience store for 500 yen (£3.50) – and since there were so many of them just lying around at the counter, he says he would always get one.
***
*hides screen from wifey*
Bernie Sanders summoned to DNC HQ for special award ceremony:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOV8mBjHHYg
Backwoods Bastard.
Yum.
seems the Before Place is still making good stuff once in a while
‘One Child Nation’ Exposes the Tragic Consequences of Chinese Population Control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdkHA_-xryk
India’s population is about the same and they never had a one-child policy.
I knew a guy that lived in China and claimed the Chinese Communists never used forced abortions or other like measures to enforce the One Child Policy.
He was a teacher.
Yep.
There were ways around the one child policy as well.
My guide in Beijing had 2 kids
You just had to pay somehow. And were publicly shamed for not being a good commie.
I just finished watching the video.
It is good.
Good news for OMWC!
How Jewish American pedophiles hide from justice in Israel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unPXNF1kND8
The election in 2016 was stolen and Trump is a Russian stooogge.
“We saw activity that we believe to have been connected with the Russian Internet Research Agency that was specifically targeting journalists in an attempt to convince them that there had been large-scale activity on the platform that didn’t actually happen,” Roth told NPR.
Oh
my
God
!!
bububububullshit
NPR objectivity in action.
I still haven’t seen a report that quantifies the “damage.” Seems to me that would be important to assessing the threat.
News that’s too local:
KKK group responds to the county denying them a permit for event in Court House Square
They should have a voice, as vitriolic as it could be. And the City(state) should foot the bill. Im offended by a Bernie rally.
Yeah, I’m curious to see how that holds up in court. Odds the judge applies the “FYTW” clause and upholds the denial?
It’s a slam dunkkk
It’s white there in front of their faces.
Odds that the ACLU will file a legal brief supporting the county?
They’re inbred peckerwoods from SE Indi (shudder) ana. However they should have a platform.
But instead of hyping everything up like its the Turner Diaries come to life, Dayton should say deal with it.
But they wont. They love the attention too much.
I think it is just sleeping.
hahahahaha
Isnt that Pelosi’s district ?
“you know the Devil’s spawn called “Nuts on Clark””
And the Greater Demon known as Garrett’s
*belch*
Our morning route takes us past Garrett’s – trying, but resistance is diminishing.
Meh. It doesn’t compare to King’s Nuts.
Popcorn?
King’s nuts is for anything nut related. For popcorn, there’s Campbell’s (points upthread) and Kernals by Chrissie.
Hopefully I can switch back to second shift from third shift soon. I’ve now been up 26 hrs and am more than 12 beers in and sleep is only seeming farther away. I’m sure this is a totally healthy lifestyle in your late 30s.
You will pay in your 50’s
My back concurs.
HEY YUFUS!
/wipes brow
I’ve got a couple years before I reach my 50’s.
I’m not trying to be this shitty to my body, but this was why I applied for the job that was second shift, because I knew 3rd shift would fuck with my sleep as I’m prone to insomnia as is, then after two weeks I got sent to 3rd shift. And after only 1 week on 3rd I’m already in crazy no sleep territory when I’m off. But, some new hires coming on, so hopefully I can move back to 2nd shift.
tell them you need “4th shift” while you wave your hand in front of someone’s face.
Ideally, with no pants on.
Whose idea?
Shift ‘n’ the Tears.
obligatory: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9SCzVEUlqqA
Murray Head was right.
https://www.chess.com/news/view/stanislav-bogdanovich-girlfriend-dead
I think this has something to do with chess, or things or something.
I titled a chapter in one of my books “Everything but Yul Brenner”.
My publishing partner, who was editing it, went, “WTF?!”
This was over Twitter. I said, “Watch this” and tweeted:
“Name the source: ‘everything but Yul Brenner.'”
IMMEDIATE answers. My feed blew up.
He was like, “Oh. Huh.”
Unless that chapter was about an overnight stay in Bangkok, I don’t get it.
Listen to the song.
I have heard the song.
My snark stands.
I’m an avid player of the board game Go. Some years back the World Amateur Go Championships were held in Bangkok, and I said on the go forum I frequent, “The crème de la crème of the Go world in a show with everything but Yul Brynner.”
Half of them didn’t get it, and the ones who did somehow didn’t find it funny. 🙁
I had no idea they had dirt on the Clinton’s.
College students react to Creepy Joe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZoTiBEqReY
Whelp you can’t spell pandemic without panic. Our City is hosting the World Women’s Curling Championship soon and the panty-twisters are already freaking the fuck out. “But China, South Korea, Italy and Japan will be represented. Won’t somebody please think of the children!!!” All of those teams have been over here practicing for weeks or months, even. Never let a crisis go to waste, I suppose. There was a train derailment nearby that spilled some coal into a creek and the enviro-nuts are freaking the fuck out. Dude, it’s coal. You can pick it up like a pebble. This is why we can’t have nice things like flouridated water no mo.
Festus, I’m re-listening to CSNY thanks to the earworm you planted earlier. Time well spent.
They were a fave of mine when I went through my “Hippy Phase” about a decade too late.
Would someone put this foggy old fool to bed already?
My favorite Coronavirus story was Weird Al refusing to do a coronavirus parody of My Sharona.
I was thinking about My Corona as a song earlier today
Styx did it.
I’ve pre-emptively changed the clock. I’m going to take some nyquil and sleep until dawn.
Gnight people.
Good night. Hope you feel better ASAP.
Apparently I’m running a fever of 101.3
Fun.
IANAD (nor do I play one on TV) but based on this and your comments below, I don’t think what you have is a cold. : (
‘Night, dude.
G’night. I’m going to try again. Maybe this time I’ll get some sleep.
Good luck, good sir.
… or throw up repeatedly because a pillow touched the side of my neck.
I haven’t had anything resembling that problem all day, but now it comes along?
*bathes in disinfectant*
I hope you get better. Airbourne is your friend. And it is better to get the nausea over with rather than have it persist, in my experience at least.
Well, you’ve got the whole internet between you and me, so you should be okay.
The internet is lousy with viruses.
Sorry to hear that. When the pancreatitus got me last fall I literally soaked the bed in sweat. Nearly died. My brother had it when he was wee.
SKS furniture.
“Assault” SKS, complete with polymer, a barrel shroud and that thing that goes up.
Speaking of, I need an SKS in my collection. And by “collection” I mean the firearms that I lost while trying to transport them all down the James in a paddle-wheel during a derecho.
Tilly Masterson > Jill Masterson
Damn. Just saw Tania Mallet died last year.
http://archive.li/EeHYY/4a40613d9d86a7eb3f60d362a6d7e844d0dbae46.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/4UHo1/af139727e9a718f61ac1a5eea2d8451df52c7e93.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/WgGe7/d37f8d57c8bf3990fcd0e74207920c44d53000cc.jpg
NSFW.
I’ll take#2 but with a cattle prod just to ensure H&S compliance.
Holy moly, her legs are longer than my driveway.
Sucker for the longedy leggy I am.
My next wife. Honey I’m home!
Mojeaux is complaining on Facebook that she cannot post here.
I’m sure she has permission, alth–
OH….!
She is getting Posting too fast errors.
Ironic, considering the esteem in which we hold fast women around here.
Happened to me earlier…probably fortunate.
Happened to me too so I decided to watch a fishing show on youtube.
Yes I am!!!
OH FUCK YOU, WORDPRESS!!!!
Try to help people out and they make you a liar…
*points at WordPress* It did it.
Me neither but then I shaved my head and took a shower and hey look, we’re back! The webmaster was telling me something.
The magic happens when you shave your scrotum. This is known.
Pass.
Coward.
Night on
BaldBalled Mountain.Legit LOL ?
Made me laugh!
Why not both, amirite??
I googled and the error seems to happen with relation to time and I’m wondering if it’s a daylight saving glitch.
testing
Testicles! I’m back! Was getting an error message but the PTB made it all better, PBUT… Thanks SP, You are the best!
Ok, now we see who is on SP’s list
^this!
Of course, i didn’t experience any issues, so, I figure I might be on it.
Yep I was like whycome these people get to post
I wondered if one of my off-color jokes had finally come home to roost and I was being ghosted… Nope. Not a little bit paranoic! Not me!
I figured it was a conspiracy. *Adjusts beer can aluminum and crocheted hat*
*actually owns one of those*
Music!
https://youtu.be/1_Jp9-4q5jY
Oh, they’re adorable.
Oh, shite! Is there a Saturday night post tonight? Did I blow my load too soon?
You’re free to blow it as early as necessary.
Just needs a refractory period and he’ll be as right as rain!
It pains me greatly to see people I admire, who are smart, with whom I have worked, go off on a TDS rant.
Dude, chill already.
On FB?
No, I ranted on FB that I was getting a posting error, but the person I referenced above is on Twitter.
Part of my ebook formatting circle of colleagues.
That describes my last serious girlfriend. We don’t talk anymore. She went full blown “Putin’s puppet!”
Oh, so now I may Spake? or do we joke?
Why Yes’m, Spake we goodly, Charmed says we…
OK, total request live time- pitch me your parody headline!
Some ideas:
Computer Scientists use Biden Speeches to Build Random Number Generator
Astronomers Form Black Holes Matter to Raise Awareness of Singularities
I’ll take the first one.
Climate Change linked to Elizabeth Warren not winning the primary.
I can work with this. Might need to tweak the title. Stand by.
In show of defiance, Trump pencils a hitlerstache on signed photo of Putin.
Sounds like some kind of minority porn movement.
Coronavirus in Hawaii seen at Waikiki Beach Drinking a Rim Drink with Umbrella
Rim=Rum
Minority Repornt – The story of 3 psychics who catch criminals by splicing together words from adult film titles printed on billiard balls
Computer Scientists use Biden Speeches to Build Random Number Generator
LOS ANGELES – Computer scientists announced that they have built the best random number generator to date. “I really had a eureka moment when I watched a compilation of Biden’s speeches. It was just the most perfect randomness I’ve heard; totally free of any discernible pattern or logic”, explained Dr Hastings. Dr. Hastings took transcripts of the speeches and converted them into binary. “You see, the the problem with the other generators is that the seed numbers they use aren’t random enough. So, instead of being truly random, they follow patterns which repeat. But Biden’s speeches are absolutely unpredictable. You never know what he’s going to say next, and as it turns out, neither can supercomputers. Mathematically speaking, Biden’s speech is as random as a million dice being bounced by a million jackhammers. If not for the limits of human anatomy, there’s no telling what he could say.”
Beautiful Derpe. Well done.
Next Democratic Debate to be Held Inside Hillary’s Vagina.
Congrats, you have surpassed Sugarfree in depravity.
Showtime!
Even though my replacement drone is a JILF she is terrible at her job. I’m cleaning messes weeks in the making. Charm and humor only run so far in this business. I’m getting shat upon from up high because someone else couldn’t do my job. I guess I can never get sick again or take a day off. Furious.
Pigs being pigs.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-jersey-security-guard-arrested-over-licensed-gun-legal-ammo