As I sit back and relax while sipping my wine on my throne made of toilet paper rolls, I think to myself “who is laughing at us preppers now?”
Preppers Vindicated
About The Author
Banjos
Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.
The rest of us. We’re still laughing.
And we’re also thankful that you and TPTB do such a great job with this site. I do appreciate your efforts.
And we’re also thankful that you and TPTB do such a great job with this site. I do appreciate your efforts.
Squirrels. This is why one lurks.
Oh Fuck off!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjVtHQvesKA
Psyche!
Yeah, I live right by a grocery store, people were freaking out, I went twice just to people watch the madness.
Wait, You aren’t Florida Man, what Madness is this? A hearty Fuck Off to You Good Sir!
We have Floridaman and Florida Man.
Now I has Confuse, Halp!
also not to be confused with Flo-Rida Man or Fluoride Man.
The panic stuff is embarrassing. Dude, you’re gonna die, I’m gonna die, everyone you know and love is gonna die. Why act like a total fuckhead if this is the end? Death row inmates go to their deaths with more dignity.
(Not you “you”)
Who’s laughing now?
Right?
Is that toilet wine?
I have my medical supplies and heat, some food, getting more tomorrow, Gas, cash and some Discs, I’m ready….
Sup Banjos!
And Weed, Beer and Cigs, Soap, TP, Cat Food,( doubles as Dog food without the whining) I’m gonna hide for a while…..
Banjos, you are a cutiepie.
Isn’t she? She reminds me of an Eastern European friend from high school.
Does this story involve a pillow fight and whip cream?
As if!
Wrestling in Jell-O, of course.
Just the sort of thing someone posts right before an improperly sparked bowl results in unintentional self-immolation.
I don’t know how long it would take a room full of monkeys to type out Shakespeare, but it’s half the time it would take them to make that word salad.
“ an improperly sparked bowl results in unintentional self-immolation.”
I never not spark properly, and Damn, your Hawt Girl!
Just Say’n….
I watched part of the Netflix Unabomber documentary.
Amazing how common threads weave through history. Loner type, resents “the system,” wants to bring about Revolution.
I think Kaczinski was a bitter psychopath who decided he wanted to kill people and then created a pro-idyllic earth loving freedom fighter to justify it to himself.
His admirers (TO THIS DAY) still see him as a hero and bear strong resemblance, even overlap, to Berniebots
Lefties will watch the same show and come away with their suspicions of right wing radical preppers confirmed.
And in the middle The soccer moms wondering “Who’s next?! Panic! Panic!”
I met a few Loner Snowbirds, I ask, ever had a Wife, “no” they are creepy and deranged, too much loneliness..
smugly smoked sensimilla surreptitiously stoking stockpile to smoldering suicide.
#SamJacksonEnglishMfker #lrn2english
and, nuh-uh, YOU’RE a room full of monkeys. or something.
Mohave Kush cake, back at ya, Indica
Stop firing up behind the gas station.
Do Deaf Musicians Hear?
if 7 billion people yelled at at once, would the Earth slow down?
Are Clams really happy?
Dogs, opportunistic?
Most people are idiots?
Who thought it was a good idea to eat bee vomit?
It’s got Electrolytes!!!!
Early man adopted the practice from observing clams. Only the happy ones do it though.
Then Man Discovered the Bearded Type, mmmm
What?
You’re not having a good time with me tonight, are you?
Bee vomit = honey
What nutjob decided there was sweet melty goodness in that ugly papier mâché blob hanging off a tree trunk surrounded by winged things with spikes on their butts to defend it?
Also, who decided to drink out of a cow’s tit?
I’m not going to lie. I didn’t know honey is bee vomit. I genuinely did not know what you were talking about.
Meh, no big. The last time I posted that question, I said “bee poop” and somebody corrected me, so I didn’t know then, either.
I have a buddy who has some land that he lived on in the hinterlands of Brasilia. He really wanted to set up a small honey operation. We had a few wild hives in the ground on his property so one day we decided to dig one up and try and make it a captive hive. He had already commandeered a couple bee boxes. We got pretty high and then went out with some shovels, the bee gear and got to work digging. We got the hive out and into the box, and brought the box back closer to his house. The next morning it looked like it was going to take, we had the queen and the mass of bees and they were busy remaking their hive. Then two days later the fucking ants came. Giant black ones. The bastards, we felt really sad for the poor bees ?
No. They’re deaf.
No.
Bivalves are basically little biological machines with no brain, just a pair of ganglia and a small neural net. They are incapable of any emotion.
Dogs are by nature carrion eaters, so, yeah.
I should say.
Mormon demon hunter story in 3 parts submitted for approval. Those who won’t read first person or present tense or both are duly trigger-warned.
I am Legion?
or Legend….
I AM LEGO
LEGO MY EGGO!
Every word in my response fit Mojo’s criteria. You, sir, simply Will Smith’d me.
Scheduled. Thank you!
Is that a thing? Not mormon demon hunters. Anti-first person present tense people?
And how does it compare to Monster Hunters International?
I have no problem with first person, but present tense is unreadable as every event continues to try to cram into the tiny buffer of now and it all crams together into an impossible slurry of now which all tries to fit into the forefront of the mind because it is all happening at the same time of now, and becomes a backlogged ball of stress until ejected at the scene break unprocessed because the current event never concludes, destroying the temporal sequence with which the single overlarge event of now can be broken down into a sequence.
That and it sounds wrong.
How is present tense any different than watching a movie, it is all occurring in present tense.
Because time passes in realtime in a film.
In prose a single ‘frame’ can take anywhere from two words to several paragraphs to describe, so without sequencing information to indicate advancing, all of the frames get burned into a single image.
My pet peeve: Local TV news stories that are always put in present tense. Of course, local TV news tends to drive me crazy anyway.
Does it explain how magnets work?
You’re up late Banjos. What’s the occasion?
I am very belatedly going tomorrow morning to stock up on Spam.
So you’ll welcome your impending death?
Stop being sexist you guys.
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/03/12/the-atlantic-examines-the-phenomenon-of-people-asking-why-hillary-clinton-wont-go-away/
It is interesting times these days, I hope they don’t get too much more interesting.
If the market keeps melting down then it’s going to get more interesting.
I have a need to take out a significant sum in the next month for permits, but at this point I cannot do it, no way I wanna take that loss. In six to twelve months it should come back, maybe sooner, maybe later.
I agree. I’m just not enjoying this part of the cycle.
15 months on average for event based bear markets.
I’m starting to wonder what’s going to happen with housing.
Yeah, that one is a little scary.
And where will the next “stimulus” package benefit? In other words, who will be the winning grifters.
The way Trump is proposing to spend money, nearly everyone?
If this is a transient problem (i.e. 12 months or less) then not much. Longer than that and prices will soften.
And to finish off my Prepper stuff, i need to replace my Shotgun that was stolen from me, looking at a Mossburgh, Home defense only, any ideas, I’m broke,
Mossberg of Winchester. Remington’s are known to lock up if not cycled fully.
Thanks!
The guy next to me at the office has a terrible case of 貧乏ゆすり. Driving me nuts. It’s pretty widespread here. I don’t remember Americans doing it that much.
I thought you’re not a salaryman. Why are you chained to the office?
Not one, but I gotta work with them. Spazzes.
My condolences gaijin.
I do that, but not to that degree. But I also
walkwork alone. Or as much as I can.#metoo
Jimmy legs.
Dude has the Minimata.
Weird. Most Japanese are self-conscious about that.
The moms will scold if jr does it. Still see it all the time.
Fuck, I still can’t believe this, it’s just unreal……
Reduction in traffic today (less than half of usual) was refreshing but creepy. Like Sunday on Wall Street.
If I were living back in the US I would stock up on 9mm, 5,56X45mm, and 22 WRF ammo. For any SHTF scenario that lasts more than a few months that stuff will be common currency for rounding up in bartering.
I don’t want to go into work.
But we’re still in “occupy the germ factory” mode.
Our senior management’s weekly meeting was reportedly all about planning our credit union’s response. Luckily, we can promote all the new-fangled ways members can do transactions and apply for loans without having to walk into a branch. Don’t know how it might affect those of us in the back office. Of course, the head honchos’ meeting was before we found out schools were being closed next week. I foresee major staffing headaches involving all the employees with school-age kids.
Well, at the moment, I’m the only one in the office. I’m going to listen to the rain and enjoy a Reese’s peanut butter cup.
****SIGH!!!**** Reese’s are my weakness. Just bought myself a couple of bags of dark chocolate candies to try to keep myself away from the Reese’s and other chocolate candies in the all-too-handy break room. Dark chocolate is good for you!
I had been debating between Reese’s and a Payday, but I’d had a Payday more recently and haven’t had Reese’s in a while.
Reese’s is always the correct answer. In its absence, a plain Hershey bar or a Three Musketeers will suffice.
But there’s always so few in the package. I look down, and they’re gone.
The correct answer is Milky Way.
The others are fine if that is what is available.
I broke down Tuesday and got a bag of the Reese’s eggs at Costco. Kryptonite.
Pre-Halloween and Pre-Easter are rough times if you’re trying to cut carbs.
Or just plain eat less.
Dammit, other people have shown up and started talking.
I just want to listen to the rain, shut up already.
I woke up with swollen tonsils. Mouthwash, saltwater gargle, two paracetamol (tylenol/acetaminophen), and back to bed. I’m such a pussy.
I heard warm whiskey cures everything for the english
Well, they would use cold booze, but the ‘environmental’ standards mean none of their appliances actually work. The only ones that don’t suck are the vacuums.
It’s worth a shot. Well, room temperature anyway.
Sorry you’re not feeling well. I was born just a bit too late and missed the era when tonsils got ripped out routinely at the first sign of trouble. Of course, schools and libraries still had the kiddie books that explained that when you got your tonsils out, you got to eat all the ice cream you wanted, and your parents would get you a big present.
I always felt I was cheated out of that.
I’ve had several bouts of tonsilitis throughout my life. Never had them out.
By the time you got to the front of the waiting list the inflammation was over?
/just snarking the NHS again.
You’re not concerned?
Nah.
70 cases ad climbing. Just close everything down 2 weeks until it goes away. And I mean everything.
My supermarket’s shelves are cleaned out of paper goods, household (cleansers/dish detergent/laundry soap/etc.), dry pasta, meat (all types; whole case is empty), and bottled water. Had a truck scheduled but instead of showing up at the regular 9pm, he shows up at 2am, then proceeds to wreck his truck to the point of inoperability while trying to back up to our dock. He was still stuck, halfway to the dock, halfway in the street, with the wrecker guy using a torch and sawzall to try to cut the legs off the trailer. Tonight will likely be a shitty night.
Good lord! Was the truck driver a newby or just drunk? (I know, I know – “Why not both?”)
Six of one, half a dozen of the other? He deployed the trailer’s support legs and THEN tried to back up to the dock. The legs, shockingly, got well stuck in the blacktop, and his attempts to just drive it off ended up with his tractor’s rear wheels not touching the ground.
On the plus side, the store had its most profitable day ever yesterday, just shy of quarter million dollars during 18 hours of operation.
What?
I’m not a truck driver and even I know the order of operations doesn’t go that way.
No more buggering over produce?
Tremendous callback! I for one will never shop at I0bot’s store. Our truckers are assholes but they’re not THAT stupid.
You work graveyard shift, don’t you? If so, I suspect you may be glad you don’t have to be there during the day right now.
Posted incorrectly to the dead thread:
“Note to self: put a mug under the Kuerig before hitting start and walking away. ?”
That makes me 0 for 2 so far today. Today is going to suck.
Well….it IS That Day…
You might just want to go back to bed.
Heh. I’ve done that before.
My new Stupid Human Trick is leaving the house with my readers on. Did it twice this week.
I went 6 months with the contacts/readers combo before breaking down and going to bifocals.
bif
I really need to go to progressive lenses next time. Shell out an extra couple hundred so that I’m not functionally blind trying to see anything with clarity within 4 feet. Sucks having a dozen pairs of readers scattered around the house and yet none in hand when needed. I never even wore glasses until about 3 years ago.
But then you’ll see racism and sexism everywhere!
Middle-aged Bernie-bot. Instead of a slug in my brain I’ll succumb to Big Optometry.
I just got a nice pair of progressives from zenni.com for $100 including shipping. If you go for the cheaper frames and lenses you can get out for way less than that. The China thing is causing them delays though, or at least was when the CV was rampant over there.
I’m on Wifey’s plan so I don’t know the details. Something to look into. Thanks, Stinky!
They might turn your gaze narrowed, though.
Poured coffee in the sugar bowl a time or two…
I fucking love capitalism:
https://www.redbubble.com/shop/Coronavirus?ref=search_box
Is that rule #35?
I’m not a prepper, but growing up in a family of seven led to a habit of buying in bulk. I don’t have enough stuff to last months with no resupplies, but I should be just fine for a couple of weeks till things calm down again. I do have four almost-full 30-oz bottles of germ-x that I bought 2 years ago for $4 each. I should probably try selling them on eBay, but laziness will likely win out.
We have dry goods and canned stuff forever but if the power dies two freezers full of frozen stuff gets eaten first.
Yeah, if we lose power I’ll be much worse off, most of our food stores are frozen.
Then the kittehs…
Poor kittehs, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that
I’d allow myself to wither and die before harming my boys. That annoying dog on the other hand… Kidding! They’ll eat us!
The Festus Wet Market is now open!
Well the bird feeders have been very popular this winter. Not sure how much protein can be had from a chickadee, though. Those Jays look pretty fat and happy.
I suppose you’’re just kidding but eBay is restricting the sales of hand sanitizer, masks, and similar products due to “price gouging.” Now nobody gets to buy it.
The whole fucking point of eBay is to price gouge. You got something people want and can’t find elsewhere.
Yeah and besides, a hundred bucks for a bottle of sanitizer or a box of masks isn’t going to put anyone in the poorhouse. It’s not like it’s a $10K generator after a hurricane.
Gee, thanks eBay. I was mostly joking, but if I had actually been interested in selling the hand sanitizer, then it could’ve gone to someone who really wanted it. Instead it’ll just keep sitting in the back of my pantry.
I’m not sure this is real: https://www.checkiday.com/c4a5a2e6e3457ca25be9340f4403ab8e/skeptics-day-international
I’m doubtful.
Tell Snow White I said hi.
She had some unpleasant verbiage to pass on when your name came up.
I’d repeat it, but it would cost us our family friendly rating.
A judge ordered the release of Chelsea Manning yesterday afternoon. While I’m not a fan of Chelsea as a person, the government has been pretty damn vindictive and cruel to the poor bastard/bitch while incarcerated, from what I’ve read on the matter.
So that’s good, I guess.
Eh, mess with the bull etc. Private Manning is asshole.
Is is a good thing and she shouldn’t have been there in the first place but you’ll find that most of the people here aren’t fans to say the least.
Which I find a bit odd in this instance. Her previous actions notwithstanding, she refused to testify against Assange for a grand jury and was imprisoned and fined a thousand dollars a day for her trouble. That was admirable.
Yeah, that’s the way I see it too.
I thought xhe was a rockstar to the editors over at TOS, but they don’t appear to have published anything about it.
It was fashionable to love her when Wikileaks was loved by the left. Obviously that’s changed ever since Assange and Manning hacked the DNC and conspired with the Russians to get Trump elected.