Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Mar 18, 2020 | Daily Links | 436 comments

I really like the day care I send my kids to. Not only are they staying open until someone makes them close, they’re working with the church next door to expand K-5 care starting next week until school resumes. Anyone who already does before or after care from school with them, plus the children of “essential” personnel who are basically drafted until the state of emergency ends — medical, first-responders, cops. How great is that? Mrs. L and I have also decided to try to order takeout or delivery dinner from local restaurants about every other night as long as we can. First, because we want those restaurants to still be there when this ends, and second, because that means fewer trips to the shit-show grocery stores.

Oh, and it appears Mrs. L and I are expecting another shit-lord or -lady. November 6, or thereabouts. A perfect little tax deduction. I was not allowed to attend the ultrasound because coronavirus.

Looks like Winston’s Mom owes Paul Krugman a blowjob after his election night ’16 tweet finally comes to pass. Maybe he’s a time-traveler

I don’t think this is the Fleet Week NYC was hoping for.

My main concern regarding coronavirus and Snowbirds is that they won’t go home. Go Home! Stop descending on the grocery store like a pack of wolves!

South Korea’s coronavirus case count falls by an order of magnitude without shutdowns or curfews. Also note that 60% of cases came from one locus of infection. American data, such that we have, indicates a similar pattern of non-casual transmission.

Update: Now with image on home page!

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

436 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    I don’t want to lose my parking spot.

    Seriously, that’s the biggest thing that makes me not go anywhere most days.

  2. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    . . . it appears Mrs. L and I are expecting another shit-lord or -lady.

    Congrats! Excellent news!

    • Tonio

      Indeed. Congratulations.

    • Sean

      Congrats Brett!

      • PieInTheSky

        While i question bringing a child in this awful world of CAGW and unrestraint capitalism and wage slavery, congrats on the sex as the old joke went. May xer grow and absolut shitperson libertarianx

      • PieInTheSky

        This was not meant as a reply here goddamnit

    • pistoffnick

      How does that keep happening?

      Seriously, congrats.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Congratulations!

    • hayeksplosives

      Congratulations!

      Too bad you had to skip the ultrasound though.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Congratulations.

    • leon

      Noice man!

    • Gender Traitor

      Mazel tov on the impending bubala!

    • Fourscore

      You da man and da lady. Congrats to the L family and many more future Ls.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Excellent! Congratulations! Looks like November is shaping up to be a month of Glib-spawn.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Will xhe be named Corona?

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Congrats!

    • Ozymandias

      So this is one of those so-called “coronials?” Solid. Hopefully by the time xhe is grown up, xim will be allowed out of the school-mandated bubble-suit to interact with other coronials for a few minutes a day… xiself can spread the word about a concept dad mentioned, called “Liberty” and being a “shitlord.”

    • bacon-magic

      Congrats!

    • Count Potato

      Congrats!

    • Tejicano

      Congratulations to the L’s!

    • Michael

      I’m hours late to the party, but whatever – congratulations, Brett!!!

    • Animal

      Second that! Hearty congrats.

    • MikeS

      Congrats, Brett!

  3. Certified Public Asshat

    Oh, and it appears Mrs. L and I are expecting another shit-lord or -lady. November 6, or thereabouts. A perfect little tax deduction. I was not allowed to attend the ultrasound because coronavirus.

    Congratulations! (I think)

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Mrs. L and I have also decided to try to order takeout or delivery dinner from local restaurants about every other night as long as we can.

      And that didn’t last very long.

  4. Donation Not Taxation

    Arizona: 231 603 Joe, 168 189 Bernie, 2 734 Tulsi Tulsi 0.68%
    Illinois: 910 973 Joe, 555 926 Bernie, 9 014 Tusli Tulsi 0.61%
    Florida: 1 075 089 Joe, 396 248 Bernie, 8 706 Tulsi Tusli 0.58%

    • UnCivilServant

      You forgot Broward County: +18,000,000 Joe.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Broward County is part of Florida. The above is with 100% of precincts reporting. The acting supervisor of elections for Broward this time is a pick of an R governor. The incumbent elected D is suspended from all duties.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Ah.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Formatting got lost in translation

  5. The Late P Brooks

    I’m doing my part to keep kkkapitalism afloat. I just bought some stock.

    Hopefully it’s at or near bottom.

    • Fourscore

      Luckily it can only go to zero.

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      I suspect the economic pain due to the overreaction will be worse than the pain caused by the virus

      • R C Dean

        No doubt in my mind. The shutdowns and, now, mandatory paid sick leave for small businesses will crush many, the slowdown in service industries will hurt employees as well, and then the dominos start falling – mortgage defaults, commercial real estate defaults, commercial and personal loan defaults. There goes banking, commercial real estate, and the auto biz.

        If they called off all the bullshit this weekend, we’d probably be OK. But they’re not going to call it off for weeks and weeks. The economy is fucked. Count on it.

      • Tejicano

        Fully intended. For the blue party that is feature, not bug.

  6. Donation Not Taxation

    Most Glibs are US, so focus on that.
    Hard data, not guesses on The Coronavirus vs. United States’ health care: 116 deaths. 7411 confirmed cases. Mortality rate ~ 1 565 1/4 per 100,000.

    CDC’s mortality rate (February 2020) in United States for flu for 2019-2020 flu season for which United States is near the end: 95 per 100,000.

    That would make it ~ 16 1/2 times flu instead of the (for United States) official 10 times.

    Fight me.

    • UnCivilServant

      Confirmed cases?

      Mortality rate is deaths versus recoveries, and we don’t have enough of a sample to determine recoveries.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        What the US government CDC calls the mortality rate of a disease is technically the disease’s case fatality rate (CFR), which is AFAIK is measured by deaths divided by cases. AFAIK, deaths vs recoveries is ’30 day death rate’.

      • Fourscore

        When a person goes to a care center/nursing home it is to die. Whether death comes today or tomorrow that last ride is terminal. Most of my friends are of the age to acknowledge that and only worry about staying weeks/months in the nursing home, isolated from friends/family.

        Its really not important as to cause of death. My mother was in a nursing home for nearly a year, coherent, bedridden and miserable. If one is unfortunate to have the big ‘A’ life is even more miserable.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks for sharing that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Which is why my father despises those places.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Confirmed cases are definitely a small fraction of actual cases. How small, we don’t really know.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        For civilians: What we know is a drop, what we don’t know is an ocean. — Isaac Newton

        For veterans, active duty, etc.: There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know. — Donald Rumsfeld

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Hopefully, for US Glibs, confirmed cases will grow at a faster rate than deaths. But that is a hope, rather than the existing data.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Confirmed cases means little, when very few people are being tested, and most of those are already seriously ill. Just look at the basketball players who got tested, the vast majority of positives are asymptomatic.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks for your reply.

      • R C Dean

        confirmed cases will grow at a faster rate than deaths

        Once we get into a normal testing cycle (which could take as long as a month, at a guess), confirmed cases will grow faster than deaths at a rate of at least 50:1. And probably more like 100:1.

    • R C Dean

      Fight me.

      You bet.

      Testing bias and a small denominator means current mortality rates are meaningless. We are only testing people who likely to have it, due to testing shortages. Unlike the flu, where we test much more broadly, many mild cases are not being identified at all (in all probability). This is the equivalent, roughly, of the mortality rate of flu patients admitted to a hospital, instead the mortality rate of all flu patients.

      In any event, the mortality rate you post is 1.50% (116/7,411). Flu mortality is typically 0.1%. In a really bad flu season, you might see 0.15%. I think a year or two from now, when we have good actual data, the Kung Flu death rate will be comparable to a bad flu season.

      • C. Anacreon

        Here’s some interesting things I’m hearing from the world of emergency medicine:

        ICUs are already at capacity at a lot of hospitals. But since all elective surgeries are being canceled, there’s a move to use surgical suites as makeshift ICUs when a surge hits, with anesthesiologists rather than intensivists running the show in those.

        Some ERs are coming up with novel ways to treat patients and keep caregivers safer. One ER where a pal is Medical Director has come up with a triage system outside, where a nurse will have patients screened as they arrive, and those determined to be non-emergency patients are told to wait in their cars. A doc comes and sees them in their cars, and if they can be helped there, they are sent on their way. Only true emergency patients come inside.

        Impressively, people seem to be heeding the warnings to only go to the ER if you’re truly sick. We’re not seeing an overall increase in patients in many ERs at this point.

        The telemedicine companies are stepping up rapidly and reaching out to medical groups to dramatically increase their numbers of providers and thus ability to do many more direct-to-consumer assessments, thanks to the relaxation of many telehealth regulations, including allowing non-HIPAA-compliant platforms like Skype and FaceTime to be used temporarily. Internal medicine docs can see 6-7 patients in their homes per hour, an amazing increase in productivity. Expect to see many of these innovations remain permanent in the future, you may be seeing your doc over your computer far more commonly from now on than you would have before.

        The tales of personal heroics are many and truly heartwarming. Once again, we see that a crisis brings out the best in us rather than what some thought might be a zombie apocalypse.

      • R C Dean

        ICUs are already at capacity at a lot of hospitals. True. Typical of flu season.

        We are repurposing a unit as a Kung Flu unit where we will cohort patients. The difference between an ICU and a regular unit is nurses and some equipment. The equipment is relatively easy (the biggest choke point is likely to be ventilators), and as a Kung Flu patient needs pretty specific care, we can retrain regular nurses and don’t need full-fledged ICU nurses. Right now, oure biggest challenge is an HVAC issue – Kung Flu rooms are supposed to be negative pressure rooms. Facilities is working up a plan now to convert regular rooms to negative pressure rooms. Amusingly, we test negative pressure rooms by dropping a kleenex outside the closed door. If the kleenex gets sucked into the room, voila!, negative pressure. Talk about high-tech.

        a nurse will have patients screened as they arrive, and those determined to be non-emergency patients are told to wait in their cars. A doc comes and sees them in their cars, and if they can be helped there, they are sent on their way. Only true emergency patients come inside.

        Similar to what we are doing. We are screening for potential Kung Flu at the door, which is pretty common. There’s a million variations on what happens next across hospitals, but the basic theory is to cohort Kung Flu away from other patients and providers as much as possible, and to limit the number of people (including visitors) in your ED.

        We’re not seeing an overall increase in patients in many ERs at this point.

        Our numbers are down across the board. Contra Pence, we are not cancelling elective surgeries, and neither is any other hospital in Tucson. That’s a countermeasure for lack of bed capacity, not infectious disease. Because Pence is probably of about average intelligence for a politician, he naturally recommends the wrong thing.

  7. Mad Scientist

    I was not allowed to attend the ultrasound because coronavirus.

    So you only have your wife’s word for this!

    • Brett L

      And a picture! I have a picture of somebody’s ultrasound.

      • UnCivilServant

        Looks like a picture of the alien beenie baby.

      • Brett L

        That’s the 12 week ultrasound, this one looks like a giant tardigrade.

      • Mad Scientist

        Photoshop that thing. Add hints of vampire teeth, or 3rd eyes, or extra toes or something. Then tell your wife you have “some concerns.”

    • Tonio

      Not even a couple of prints? They can burn that shiznat to disc or SD card, but may not wish to do so for medico-liability reasons.

  8. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    Just went to the local Safeway about an hour ago. Other than the bread section looking quite picked over, everything was in stock and with decent selection. Lots of the essentials (eggs, dairy, etc.) and full shelves of canned goods. Traffic to the store was lighter than usual (though still heavier than I actually expected), but the parking lot of the outdoor mall was almost full and people were going about their business, although everyone inside was trying to stay slightly further away from others than normal.

    Picked up the usual. Tacos/burritos tonight.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      Went to our local Publix last night. Still looked like Snowmageddon in the ATL minus the beer being well stocked. Meat, soup, bread, frozen goods, tp, water, gatorade, all non-existent or picked through. Lot of cheese though.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Two caveats are worth making. The first is that the stock market is not the economy. Stock prices reflect investors’ best predictions about what various companies will be worth, and how much those companies will produce in dividends, in the fairly near future. There is little correlation between the value of the Dow Jones index and the rate of US gross domestic product (GDP) growth.

    The second point is that better economic indicators, such as GDP growth or job growth, do not support Trump’s claims that he’s been a particularly effective economic steward. At best, they suggest that — at least until very recently — Trump hasn’t done anything to spoil the slow but steady growth that he inherited from President Obama.

    You slay me.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Trump hasn’t done anything to spoil the slow but steady growth that he inherited from President Obama.”

      That’s the narrative and they’re sticking to it.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      Trump’s quote of the day: “People are dying who have never died before.”

      Trump hasn’t done anything to spoil the slow but steady growth that he inherited from President Obama. This is directionally correct. Obama enjoyed a dead cat bounce of the highest proportion due to the heights from which the economy fell; he deserves absolutely zero credit for any of it. Along this line, Trump also deserves zero credit for the trend continuing.

    • B.P.

      To recap: All four of Obama’s years in office were George W. Bush’s economy. Obama’s economy started shortly before the inauguration of Trump and lasted until February 20, 2020, when the markets began to tank. Now we’re in Trump’s economy. Do I have that right?

      • leon

        Obama was only president for 4 years?

      • B.P.

        Er, eight. Jesus, I thought there was no math!

      • Tundra

        No worries. Either way, it seemed more like 20.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        it never ends

        whose army did 41 beat Iraq with?

        whose economy did 40 enjoy?

        everyone changes his lag model as soon as it doesn’t work for his guy

        whose economy? I’ll tell you: Bill Gates’s

      • Jarflax

        It’s all analyzing who did the least harm anyway. The President and Congress don’t spur growth, they retard it to varying degrees.

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    South Korea’s coronavirus case count falls by an order of magnitude without shutdowns or curfews.

    Without Trump too.

  11. UnCivilServant

    Having stalled out on so many writing projects, I figured I’d grab a random item off the unfinished pile and try to work on that. I picked up “Junior Redemptioners” and spotted immediately the problem. The scene where I got stuck was the birthday party for the identical triplets. Lacking context or reference, I have a hard time writing for teenage girls.

    Prior to this scene, Jessica (a quasi-aspy cyborg roboticist) gave Brianna the kind of advice that is suited for a boy interacting with other males – confront the problem. I know enough to know that this is not the approach for a teenage girl interacting with her sisters.

    What I need help with is figuring out where this scene goes on its way to them getting their presents and going on a rampage. (Okay, Brianna gets into a misunderstanding with a Redneck engineer and his lightning cannon, and Sarika gets into a fight with costumed heroes, it’s only Asuka that deliberately commits a crime. But those are the scenes that come after the party.)

    “Why are there no guests?” Asuka whined. Jessica rubbed her organic eye and tried not to snap at her niece. The five women were on the back patio of the DeLong house, between the pool and the expansive yard. The house itself was a massive brick ediface with limestone trim. It had the confident solidity and size of a lordly manor, situated almost half a mile down the drive from the road. There was far more space than the family could effectively use, but Tiffany DeLong had no interest in downsizing.

    “Because you got arrested, sweetie,” Tiffany said.

    “This is so unfair!” Asuka said.

    “Why are we getting punished too?” Brianna asked, gesturing at Sarika and herself.

    “Because I can’t be at two parties at once.”

    Brianna and Sarika scowled, turning their venomous gazes on their sister. “I am so sick of you ruining everything for us!” Brianna said. “Why don’t you just go to prison where you belong?”

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Jessica rubbed her organic eye

      I’ve never heard it called that before.

      • UnCivilServant

        She’s a cyborg, one eye is artificial.

        And I’m not sugarfree, so stop reading his context into things.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Your fault, it is Wednesday after all.

      • Sean

        “Why don’t you just go to prison where you belong?”

        I’m looking forward to the shower scenes in the prison.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Are the ‘misunderstanding’, the ‘fight’, and the ‘crime’ the ‘rampage’? Is there supposed to be a separate ‘rampage’ before these three?

      • UnCivilServant

        The ‘rampage is just a mental placeholder that covers all three events.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        If not having guests is a condition of the house arrest or equivalent, then it is not a punishment, which is consistent with all three of them getting presents.

        If Asuka is the only one confined, then Sarika is not bound by condition(s) to break that would lead to a law enforcement response that would escalate into superhero reinforcement. Or, if already perceived to be sufficient threat, for superhero to be part of the response.

        Some information is given about Jessica, but she is not one of the three. This excerpt does not explain the characters or their capabilities. How to get from this scene to the three outcomes is one thing. Doing it consistent with the rest of the book or proto-book is another.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not a condition of house arrest. Asuka hasn’t gone to trial yet and was released to her mother’s (Tiffany’s) custody. Jessica is the aunt of the triplets.

        The triplets are normal unpowered girls, I’m trying to figure out how the argument goes from where it is.

  12. AlmightyJB

    Congrats on the Tax Deduction!

  13. Gender Traitor

    Among the latest edicts from OH Gov. DeWine:

    Hair salons, barbershops, spas and tattoo parlors have been ordered to close by the end of the business day today.

    Okay, NOW it’s personal!

    Businesses are asked, beginning immediately, to take the temperature of every employee every day before they come into work.

    RUFKM???

    • Sean

      Businesses are asked, beginning immediately, to take the temperature of every employee every day before they come into work.

      Wow.

      • Tres Cool

        Rectally, it would seem.

      • KSuellington

        That’s the only real way to be sure, it’s the most accurate.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        STEVE SMITH READY TO HELP!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Temperature checks are a feel good measure. They might pick up some cases, but they also pick up false positives due to other reasons, and miss false negatives if there is no fever or it’s suppressed due to pain reliever (not necessarily intentionally, say for a headache).

      Also, non contact thermometers, which I’d hope is what’s being used, aren’t great on the non-calibrated low end.

      • Tonio

        Bad oral thermometer protocols could actually spread infections.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why I’d hope they’re using non-contact thermometers, even those have their own problems.

      • Nephilium

        What, you mean something like this?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        You can’t get an accurate measurement with those.

        Rectal or GTFO.

      • Jarflax

        Why take chances? Liver probe!

      • TARDIS

        Liver Probe!

        That sounds like a great new drink. What’s the recipe?

      • Jarflax

        Methyl Alcohol and Ethylene Glycol

      • TARDIS

        I thought that was called the Blind Kidney Failure.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Rectal or GTFO.

        Sure, but what about the thermometers?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Take employees’ temperatures? What a joke.

    • Tres Cool

      I’ve said it before. DeWine is a statist POS. And fuck that horse-faced daughter of his too, as well as her FOP pals.

      https://alicedewine.com/

      • MikeS

        Neigh. Would not.

      • Sean

        Were-beaver

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But who’s taking the temperature of the temperature taker?

      • Tonio

        Your question sounds oddly familiar.

    • Not Adahn

      Yep.

      They started doing that where I work over the weekend. Someone in a gown/gloves/facemask/faceshield uses a forehead thermometer on you.

      • R C Dean

        Oh, fer fuck’s sake. Full droplet-precaution PPE to point a thermometer at asymptomatic people? What a farce.

        And what a waste of PPE at a time when hospitals are having a hard time maintaining par levels. Its worse than useless, until the supply chain gets caught up, its actively counterproductive and making things worse.

      • mrfamous

        Took my dad to his doctor’s appointment. They took both of our temps with the forehead thermometer. Mine read ’86 degrees’ and they didn’t bat an eyelash. It’s all for show.

  14. Tundra

    Hi Brett!

    Great news, brother! My congratulations to you and mama.

    And that is great stuff about the daycare. I love the stories of people who refuse to yield to the CoronaFreakOut.

    Good on SK. I’ve never been there – is personal hygiene significant better than most other first world countries?

    For some reason, my daughter is in the other room playing Pinball Wizard on the piano.

    So all in all, I’m in a significantly better mood than I was an hour ago.

    Carry on, motherfuckers!

  15. Tres Cool

    “Oh, and it appears Mrs. L and I are expecting another shit-lord or -lady. November 6, or thereabouts. A perfect little tax deduction. I was not allowed to attend the ultrasound because coronavirus. ”

    Congrats…and in 2033, the US will have an emerging group of quaranTEENS!

    • Jarflax

      and Social Security will have gone from insolvent on the balance sheet to insolvent in fact. Get them teens aworkin’!

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Trump himself is frequently dishonest when he talks about the virus. The United States lags far behind its peer nations in making tests that can screen for coronavirus available to doctors. And the Trump White House dismantled much of the governmental infrastructure that was supposed to help us respond to a pandemic.

    If President Cartoon Villain had done a better job of dismantling that government infrastructure, private firms could have brought tests to market faster, so yeah, it’s his fault.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Let’s ignore how the CDC and public health professionals moved far away from unsexy communicable diseases to lifestyle ailments and political issues.

      • Q Continuum

        MUH GUN VIOLENSS!

        MUH TRANNY THERAPEE!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Exactly.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, I wish I had a recording of the first (and last) time a doc asked about my gun ownership situation.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “Why are there no guests?” Asuka whined.

    Because everybody hates you.

    What did I win?

    • UnCivilServant

      The actual dialog answer is better.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    The actual dialog answer is better.

    You’re not an impartial arbiter.

    • Tundra

      I am.

      And he’s right.

  19. leon

    More than three years of solid market returns evaporated in a few weeks, due to coronavirus.

    It can’t all be because of the coronavirus. That is absurd. Even if the economy was shut down for 3 months because of the CV, the fundamentals should be higher than that.

    • Drake

      The markets are trying to guess how long this economic shutdown will last. If it’s more than a month, small business starts to go tits-up.

      • leon

        Thats true, but the biggest corporations (the ones that make up stuff like DJIA and S&P) should not drop 15% or more because of CV. Either they are severely undervalued now, or they were overvalued before.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The latter. The big name indices were pumped for at least the last year and a half while broader indices like VALUG were more realistic.

        Where’s reality? I’m not sure yet. A lot depends on whether China craters.

      • hayeksplosives

        We were due for a correction, but this is a full-up pendulum swing in the other direction. If we could leave teh markets alone, they’d settle in peace. More likely, the gov’t will intervene and try to steer, pick winners and losers, and the economy will suffer more due to uncertainty and changing “rules.”

      • Fourscore

        Watching the last two implosions, watching the deficit grow and grow, it was apparent that something was going to happen. When it would occur and how deep are the unknowns. I was accidentally lucky enough to make some decisions a couple months ago that worked out.

        As Hayek says, its time to totally get out of the way, let the markets find their place and start another 10 years of searching.
        We still have to deal with the deficits/debt and importing Zimbabwe financial advisors may not be the way to go.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Uncertainty of how things will play out and knock on effects.

      Leaving aside a lot of house of cards.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Media-loyal sheep are not being rational.
      Also, even for the rational:
      even if ‘shut down’ is only for ‘3 months’, there is no guarantee that the governments will give up all of their exercised powers.
      bailouts, stimuli, and other lighting of money on fire
      Boeing is a Dow component

    • grrizzly

      Now is the time to panic not to contemplate the fundamentals, not that anybody knows what they are. When the idea of sheltering in place for 18 months is entertained by the elites, panicking is rational.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        URL for that one? “sheltering in place for 18 months is entertained by the elites”

      • Fourscore

        FDR’s biography

      • Drake

        He managed to shut it down for a decade.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The lockdown being envisioned will only delay the spread. Once it’s released, it’s back to where we were before basically. Either enough people contract it to where we have herd immunity (assumes that those who have contracted it develop immunity and that it lasts for a good period of time) or there’s a vaccine developed (assumes that there will be one). The latter is assumed to be 18 months away or longer.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I believe their real purpose is to buy time for testing capacity to come online.

        That, and it gets their power boner raging.

      • C. Anacreon

        Maybe time to get vaccine prototypes tested, too. There’s already been some tests on healthy uninfected volunteers.

        What if this vaccine looks fairly safe, and they move up the typical timeline so that, say, in two weeks everyone who wants to can get the vaccine? And it saves the world and the economy as the virus is crushed? But then, because it was approved too fast, we find out later that one in every one hundred people vaccinated after six months loses a foot or something like that?

        It will all be Trump’s fault, of course.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Even if they had a 100% vaccine ready today, how long would it take to ratchet up production for 8 billion? Or even 350M? I’d think more than a couple of weeks.

      • Hyperion

        John’s Hopkins are testing already. Only about a dozen test subjects so far, last I heard.

        Get ready for forced vaccinations if you want to leave your house.

      • C. Anacreon

        Agreed, but that won’t stop some reporter from asking “Mr. President, will you take responsibility for the fact that there aren’t 8 billions vaccine doses available as of today? And isn’t this proof that you are incompetent? Please resign and put Mrs. Clinton in to replace you.”

        If you don’t believe me just watch Trump taking press questions after the virus briefing every day.

      • Hyperion

        “If you don’t believe me just watch Trump taking press questions after the virus briefing every day.”

        Why wouldn’t anyone believe that? The NYT, Atlantic, etc are cranking out articles by the minute, sucking Chicom cock.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh no, I believe that part. No matter what happens, the DNC press is going to try and pin it on Trump.

      • Fatty Bolger

        If you don’t believe me just watch Trump taking press questions

        My wife’s been watching those, and she said she’s amazed at how dumb most of the questions are.

      • C. Anacreon

        she’s amazed at how dumb most of the questions are.

        Today some genius reporter said “I understand there’s going to be 250 billion so that every adult in America gets $1000. But there’s 330 million Americans, so doing a little math, that only comes out to $750 apiece. What do you have to say about that?”

        Trump was actually polite and just said ‘we’re still working on the numbers, nothing’s set yet.” Meanwhile, I was screaming at the TV “that’s total Americans, not total adults you asshole? What part of the money per adult didn’t you get? While you’re trying to impress everyone with the fact you can do long division on your cell phone, why don’t you google the number of people over 18 in the USA?” (I did, by the way, and it’s 209 million, that took a millisecond to find out. Guess what? That means you only need about 210 billion for every adult to get a $1000 check — 209 billion of checks, and a billion dollars for stamps.)

      • Gustave Lytton

        That would perhaps sensible. I have no idea what they’re trying to accomplish though.

        If you accept the models, a fuck load of people are going to die under any conditions. A lot more wouldn’t die directly potentially under a massive multi month lockdown but at the cost of cratering the economy for a long time which would also lead to an unknown number of deaths and reduced outcomes.

      • grrizzly

        I meant the report out of Imperial College London.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks.
        If it helps, it is not 18 continuous months:
        ‘After the 1st suppression period ends in July, we could probably lift restrictions for a month, followed by 2 more months of suppression, in a repeating pattern without triggering an outbreak or overwhelming the ventilator supply. Staggering breaks by city could do a bit better.’

  20. Drake

    My mother is in Florida. Probably better that she stays there for a while. Maybe when it gets hotter than hell there in a couple of months, the virus will learn to hate the place too.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      And the humidity and the UV-C

      • Tres Cool

        I passed that along to my ME buddy. Thanks.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks seconded

  21. PieInTheSky

    I belive the koreans were much more disciplined without shutdowns than the romanians with them. Also they tested a lot more people per capita that romania can…

    • IRBE

      More important is that normal personal space for a S. Korean is about 4 ft.

  22. Q Continuum

    While I sympathize with arguments that what people eat is highly culturally subjective (what makes eating a pig somehow fundamentally different from eating a dog?), traditional Chinese medicine is a load of fucking horseshit and should be squashed not just for the sake of the animals, but for the sake of the gullible idiots who think eye of newt cures cancer.

    https://spectator.us/time-ban-wet-markets/

    • PieInTheSky

      The problems are not domestic animals from which we got most diseases already but exotic wild ones with new and exciting diseased

      • PieInTheSky

        Also why do i have a comment in moderation? This is racist and romanianist

      • hayeksplosives

        I have 2 in moderation.

        I’ve been quarantined….

      • Drake

        They’ll appear when you stop coughing.

    • The Other Kevin

      Rest assured, the next pandemic is now working its way from pangolins and bats to humans, and the Chinese government is working on the next cover up.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      (what makes eating a pig somehow fundamentally different from eating a dog?)

      I’ll try this one. We don’t torture the pigs to death in the belief that adrenaline produced from the hours of being skinned alive before being slowly boiled alive will produce a better flavored meat.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That is some bizarre, amoral (at best) shit that they do.

      • Drake

        We also don’t keep pigs as hunting partners and companions – except my crazy neighbor whose “tea-pot” pig grew into a massive boar.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Speak for yourself, bub.

    • Suthenboy

      There are cultural factors, economic factors and biological factors.

      The things people find disgusting are disgusting because they are dangerous, either because of high probability of pathogens or poisons. That is the principle governing the evolution of taste, look and smell.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Sometimes. I have a hard time buying 100 percent into the Wisdom of Repugnance argument. Not everything stems from our experiences on the savanna 100,000 years ago. Ben Franklin drank his own piss. We find that disgusting now because of what we know about microbiology that he didn’t know about back then.

    • R C Dean

      what makes eating a pig somehow fundamentally different from eating a dog?

      I’m curious as to what is meant by “fundamentally”, but I expect the answer is “nothing”.

      The problem with Chinese wet markets is three-fold: the variety of wild animals, the presence of live animals, and the absolutely horrifying lack of sanitation and hygiene. If you wanted to create a petri dish for zoonotic diseases to jump to humans, I doubt you could do any better.

    • hayeksplosives

      Something about ants and grasshoppers…

    • Gustave Lytton

      You first, asshole.

      (Not you Pie)

      Always with the hoarders, wreckers, saboteurs, and kulaks.

    • leon

      Sharona Light
      @justanurse25
      ·
      5h
      Replying to
      @stevethompson49

      @Loud_Lass
      and
      @LesStonehouse
      Ok Adolf
      Philly Talk
      @PhillyTalk
      ·
      4h
      I was going to go with OK Comrade.

      And no one went with “Ok FDR?”

      • C. Anacreon

        I liked the response that said “remember my door is locked for your safety.”

    • Tonio

      House-to-house inspections. Charming.

      • leon

        I hear inspectors like venison. When they come to my house they can expect a belly full of buck.

      • Fourscore

        WW2 neighborhood house wardens will be by to check for hoarding

      • Drake

        This time the men won’t be “over there’.

    • Hyperion

      @LesStonehouse

      Ok Adolf

      Yeah, that’ pretty much it.

    • Hyperion

      The one thing about events like this, some people are going to drop the masks quickly and show just what authoritarian fuckwits they are.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Two weeks’ worth of food isn’t shit. Fuck off random Twitter douchebag.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Submitted without comment:

      Steve Thompson
      @stevethompson49
      Hire car and rideshare driver. Volunteer driver for Angel Flight.

  23. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Someone tell me what an irritated throat with a low temperature indicates. My son and I have had it for a couple of days. I refuse to Google it.

    *braces self, updates will*

    • Tonio

      Bubonic plague. Definitively.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Damnit, I knew it

    • Tundra

      Alleriges.

      • Tundra

        Nice.

        How about ‘allergies’ instead?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I liked alleriges better, sounds Belgian.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Let’s see, checking Web MD… it’s cancer.

    • Drake

      Coke habit?

    • Count Potato

      “an irritated throat with a low temperature indicates. My son and I have had it for a couple of days”

      So have I, although I don’t know if my temperature is normally low.

    • PieInTheSky

      Ill take 3 to 6

    • DEG

      I kinda like the view of #1, but her eyes are a bit off.

      I’d like to see more of #9 and #29.

  24. hayeksplosives

    To work today I wore my white labcoat with its yellow Gadsden flag “Don’t Tread on Me” patch. I figure it gets multiple messages across.

    • Tonio

      With low-heel black pumps?

      • Tundra

        And stockings with the seam up the back?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Fetish confirmed

      • Tundra

        I will not apologize.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not at all necessary to do so.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        That’s not a fetish. That’s just good taste.

      • Fourscore

        Wow, back in high school on dress up day! Does life get any better?

  25. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Oooooooo… I got filtered for moderation.

    I feel special.

    • leon

      Along with 11 other special people.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Whatever man…

  26. KSuellington

    Congrats on the new spawn Brett.

    Where’s muh reparations from China? They caused this shit and hid it for long enough to cause serious damage.

    • Q Continuum

      RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!

    • C. Anacreon

      Don’t you know that mentioning the word “China” is leading to thousands of Asian-Americans being attacked in the streets across the nation?

      /half the questions asked the President after today’s virus briefing

  27. The Late P Brooks

    More than three years of solid market returns evaporated in a few weeks, due to coronavirus.

    Personally, I think some of the early fade had to do with the strength of Bernie and Warren in the primaries.

    The other day, my brother (who suffers from a severe case of TDS) was talking about how knowing this administration we can assume they will use every trick in the book to reinflate the asset bubble. I didn’t bother to ask how that would distinguish them from the previous administration.

  28. Gender Traitor

    OK, Glibbroads, I need your advice. I’m only three weeks from my next round of “hair chemo,” and I can’t count on the salons to be back open by then. Unless I can arrange to go to my stylist’s house (I have her cell number,) I’m going to have to color my hair myself – which I’ve never done. Best/easiest to use brands?

    • Ted S.

      Krylon?

      • Tonio

        [golf clap]

      • Mojeaux

        No. You’ll spend all your time peeling it off each and every strand. While this is oddly satisfying, it does get old.

    • Mojeaux

      I THINK I use Fería.

      I mix a light red and a light blonde to approximate my natural hair color without the Old Lady Oh Honey You’re Trying Too Hard red.

      I was going through some photos of that time I shaved my head.

      *shudder*

      • Gender Traitor

        Thank you! YOU’VE been very helpful – unlike SOME Glibs… ::gives Ted S. the side eye::

        Since it would be going over the top of pro color, I may have to err on the side of slightly darker than I have how- and make sure whatever brand I’m using is slightly “temporary” so it’s not impossible for my gal to fix….if I ever get to see her again. ::whimpers, wipes nose on sleeve::

    • C. Anacreon

      Reportedly, if you use Ogilvie Home Perm, strangers will stop you in the middle of the street and ask, “Salon Perm?”

      (and if you fib and say yes, salon perm, they will immediately alert the authorities to jail you on violation of salon closedown order HA23-Q. so don’t fib, own up to Ogilvie Home Perm. Or color. Or whatever.)

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Loreal has always worked for me….

      • Gender Traitor

        You’re worth it! ; )

    • Mojeaux

      Oops. I was wrong.

      I use L’Oreal Excellence non-drip creme.

      • Gender Traitor

        Duly noted!

    • Tres Cool

      Want me to dispatch Jugsy ? She’s quite the expert.

      • Gender Traitor

        I will definitely keep that in mind! I have three weeks to see what happens…

  29. Hyperion

    “Coronavirus cases have dropped sharply in South Korea. What’s the secret to its success?”

    Spring?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Or as it will be called in the grant application: Pharmaceutical anthropology to improve immune system by self-medicating digestive tract microbiome

    • leon

      Spoiler: They all died.

      • Ted S.

        No; they were already dead.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Aggressive testing and quarantine

      • Gustave Lytton

        And mask wearing possibly. Not for wearer, but cuts down on the droplets to other people.

        Similar with Japan, which while it has tested far fewer people, hasn’t seen a spike in deaths either. Masks, lots of touchless automated doors in public spaces (or just tap with your finger rather than grabbing with your hand) or doorless visual barriers, bowing instead of handshakes or face kissing, and taking off outside shoes. Still early to tell if those differences are real.

    • Fatty Bolger

      K-Pop is 99% effective in killing the virus.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Best answer

    • C. Anacreon

      My South Korea. Some hotshot. Here’s their ancient secret to success — Calgon.

      • Tres Cool

        thats the ancient chinese secret…

  30. B.P.

    From the world of beer, will speakeasies make a comeback? (Trigger warning: “Begs the question”)

    https://beernet.com/many-more-mandatory-on-premise-closings-the-rise-of-the-neo-speakeasy/

    “One dive bar owner I know told me yesterday in very plain terms: “I don’t care if they close us down, we’ll just lock the doors and let our regulars in the back door.” I started to laugh until her cold gimlet eye told me she was dead serious: “I’m not letting my girls go,” she added as she turned to punch something into the Aloha POS system. And thinking of almost every other small bar owner I know, I would expect a similar response.

    And that begs the question: Prohibition didn’t work last time, why would it this time? Particularly as she and thousands of other bar owners around the country know the cell phone numbers and/or Facebook names of all of their regulars? Instead of a secret password or knock at the door like in 1930s, it’s just texted or FB messaged to regulars and trusted ones.

    Now, given her regulars don’t travel much outside the county line — they aren’t running off to Coachella or skiing in Europe — she deems the risk is low. I think that sort of thinking — right or wrong — will be going on across the nation in droves, from Chicago to McAllen. I know I wouldn’t be turned away in half a dozen cinderblock bars around Texas.”

    I figure in 10 days’ time the underground hospitality economy will be in full swing. People have only been stuck in their homes for a few days and many are already going stir crazy. Plus, going to an illicit bar or restaurant will have the allure of being, chic, edgy, exclusive, etc.

    • Q Continuum

      “Prohibition didn’t work last time, why would it this time?”

      Gun grabbers, drug warriors and anti-porners would like a word…

    • Tonio

      It’s already happening with certain Gyms.

      • Drake

        My gym owners was talking about just that on Monday – letting small groups in the basement door and only using the equipment on the lower-level so can’t be seen from the street. I told him I was in.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Before The Coronavirus, were there already illegal eateries in the United States in at least Chicago, Dallas, Houston, and New York City?

      • pistoffnick

        I remember reading about underground pop-up restaurants. Invite only, sworn to secrecy, lest some nosy health inspector find out about it.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        *notes that pistoffnick can lead law enforcement to illegal gatherings engaged in non-approved pleasure of exchanging money for illegal decor, food, service*

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Most supperclubs are run and organized by professional chefs, often for other chefs. So someone who has dedicated his or her life to hospitality and food service is going to wipe their ass with their hand while chopping up vegetables for a mirepoix just because they can. It’s not like they have pride, a professional reputation, and a better than average knowledge of why food safety matters.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        *sarcasm meter is registering*

    • Tundra

      So how do they restock?

      • Tonio

        Same as they always do. The truck shows up. Except instead of a cube truck now it’s a van dropping off much smaller orders.

        or

        “Hey, we paid in advance and they wouldn’t cancel.”

      • Tonio

        They do limited carryout out the front door. And offer free brownbag for schoolchildren. Which offers a really good justification for people coming in the back door — they’re kitchen help.

    • DEG

      Maine isn’t on the list? Huh. I haven’t been to The Great Lost Beat in a long time. I think a road trip is called for.

      [Ed. Note: Will the easing of those regulations return to normal when this is done?]

      Heh. I expect the waivers will disappear whenever this insanity blows over.

      • DEG

        Oops.. Great Lost Bear.

  31. kinnath

    This “crises” has made it clear that I have two problems I need to resolve. First, I need a reverse osmosis filter in my basement so that I can continue to brew. Second, can’t get rifle ammo anywhere right now. But, I’ve got a couple thousand rounds of 9mm in the house already. I guess I need to get a 9mm carbine.

    Any recommendations for either item?

      • Fourscore

        Trade for reloading stuff.

    • Q Continuum

      “can’t get rifle ammo anywhere right now”

      Long term suggestion: wait until the prices go back down and buy a shitload. Shorter term suggestion: check out the Grand Power Stribog, I’ve been interested in one of those for a while.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Why not one of those Glock carbine conversion kits?

      • Timeloose

        That’s a great option as well. Sig makes a great one as well.

    • Timeloose

      Keltec, Sub2000. It’s cheap, reliable, and relatively accurate. It can use Glock 32 round mags

    • pistoffnick

      Those Ruger PC carbines look sharp.

      A friend has a Kel-Tec Sub 2000 which is cool.

      • kinnath

        Those Ruger PC carbines look sharp.

        Saw those. Under consideration.

    • Drake

      If you are a Beretta guy, look at the Cx4 carbine that takes the same mags as your pistol.

    • kinnath

      I was waiting for warmer weather after I got back from vacation to buy a rifle and some ammo. My timing couldn’t have been worse.

      I did order a Ruger mini-14 from Buds. It will show up at the local FFL next week. And I managed to find some overpriced 5.56 NATO at Lucky Gunner that should be coming shortly after the rifle.

      So I will have something soon.

      And when shit cools off, I will buy a significant amount of 5.56 NATO. But who knows when the public panic will end.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. I thought I had enough, but I’d like a little more.

      • Drake

        I was waiting for my employment situation to improve to get a bolt-gun. I might have a long wait.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I had a Hi Point 9mm carbine for a while. It was a lot of fun to shoot and quite accurate.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Roger makes a carbine that takes Glock mags. It’s a nice rifle for home defense and the like.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      I was pretty happy with my Kel-Tec Sub2K.

      Before that tragic boating accident, that is. Mind you, if’n you wanna put a lot o’ fancy gimmicks on it, it’s a PITA, ’cause of the way it folds up.

    • IRBE

      I recommend still over RO for water and other further processing of fermented liquids to a more purer form.

      • kinnath

        I have no interest in further processing of such liquids. If I did, fractional crystallization (leave in the garage in mid winter) is less conspicuous.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Ouch. 4-6 weeks for Fenix Ammo ;p

    • dontreadonme

      I really like my Beretta CX4 Storm. I replaced all the plastic parts in the trigger group thanks to the help of some enthusiasts in Oregon. I shoot it suppressed with 155gr loads and it is Hollywood quiet. And uses the same mags as my pistols. Similarly, the Keltec Sub2K *(again after replacing all the plastic shit with upgrades from the awesome brothers at Mcarbo) is a great setup and a nice truck gun since it folds in half. Let me know if you want more info on either.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t wanna, but I need to go to the store, now that it has stopped snowing.

    • Fourscore

      I was just there, bananas gone but fresh lettuce and on sale.

    • Gender Traitor

      I am so down with a recall petition.

      Do not EVER stand between a woman and her hair stylist!!

  33. Hyperion

    Sorry for the double post, did not realize the other thread was dead.

    OFFS!

    Move your offices to Wuhan, you hacks.

    The Chicoms are going to pay dearly for this shit, and you’re disgusting for helping them spread their propaganda.

    • leon

      Chicoms are a threat to worry about once they have removed their enemy from office. They really don’t care. The battle being fought now is domestic. They’ll get back to China once they have control.

      • Hyperion

        Biden is a much bigger threat to liberty than Bernie is. There, I said it. Bernie won’t be able to pass any of his bullshit, but Biden will bring back the good old Clinton admin days and take one giant shit on what’s left of the Constitution, through ‘moderate bipartisanship’. Reach across the aisle and screw over your fellow Americans!

      • Tonio

        Joe Biden is, or shortly will, be too far gone to actually make decisions. Will they let Jill rule as the power behind the throne, or will Biden’s VP force the issue?

      • leon

        Kamala will almost certainly force the issue.

      • Hyperion

        Warren will be the VP candidate.

      • RAHeinlein

        I’ve heard Warren for (gulp) Treasury Secretary.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        VP Kampala Harris will rule from behind the scenes with an iron fist.

      • Tonio

        Ima think AmyK, but time will tell.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Kenosha factor bell:

        ding, ding, ding !

  34. pistoffnick

    “My main concern regarding coronavirus and Snowbirds is that they won’t go home. Go Home! Stop descending on the grocery store like a pack of wolves!”

    My father-in-law sets up his camper in several Florida State Parks every winter. Apparently the guv’na of Florida closed all the state parks. He’s out of a place to stay and may have to tow the camper back to still-frozen Minnesoda

  35. Fourscore

    “Most important, the announced expansionary policy could not be more ill-timed. For it is imperative during a contraction of the economy caused by war, natural disaster, or epidemic that the price system is left free and unhampered to reveal the most valuable uses of productive resources whose quantities have been substantially reduced. Only this policy will facilitate the optimal path to a temporarily smaller economy and ensure that the most pressing demands of consumers are met during a period of greater resource scarcity. Unfortunately, the stated intent of the new Fed policy is precisely to stabilize the economy, that is, to prop up and maintain firms, industries, and productive activity as they were in the status quo ante. But this is clearly impossible given the shrunken supplies of the factors of production. By inundating the economy with money the Fed will not succeed in miraculously expanding these supplies but instead distorting the price structure and promoting misallocation, malinvestment, and waste of productive factors thereby deepening and lengthening the recession.

    The Best of Joseph Salerno

    MORE

    LRC Blog

  36. Rufus the Monocled

    It took a black swan to make Krugman right.

    So. No blow job I say.

    He thought the economy would collapse BECAUSE of Orange Man Bad.

    He can suck his own dick.

    • Drake

      Benefit of being that short?

      • IRBE

        4 in 1000 that are capable.

    • Tonio

      But, but, this is happening because TRUMP DISBANDED SOME CDC UNIT IN 2018!!1!

      • hayeksplosives

        And the reason we can’t get to the moon or ISS is that NASA was busy doing “Muslim outreach” and climate “science.”

        Who’d have guessed that NASA would lose focus like that??

      • Rhywun

        Ah, that was him? Nice to know.

      • hayeksplosives

        Cool link, depressing truth.

  37. Gadfly

    So the Trump administration issued a rule to allow medical professionals to practice across state lines to help combat the pandemic. While I think this a good thing, I do wonder whether it is over-stepping bounds or whether it is just applying the “full faith and credit” clause appropriately.

    • Tonio

      Commerce clause.

      • leon

        Which according to some give the president the power to do whatever he wants.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        No, no, no…only democratic presidents

      • Fatty Bolger

        That would certainly give Congress the ability to allow it. Whether they have outsourced that to the President, I don’t know. But seeing how much they love doing that, they probably have.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Framers’ notions of economics and jurisdictions weren’t terribly useful. We should have a chat one night about what the Commerce Clause should have said.

    • Drake

      Now do it for insurance policies and gun permits.

    • dontreadonme

      Having to get licensed in each and every state you want to practice is a total PITA and does nothing to assure quality of care…it’s just another extortion by state and local governments. I hope this stays permanently.

  38. JD is Unemployed

    The UK government just shut all the schools here. Murder rates to go up at least 500% now that the stabbers’ schedules aren’t cluttered with things like geography and English lit.

    • leon

      Buy a Gun…. Oh….

    • Gustave Lytton

      Well, both Lulu and Sidney Poitier are still around…

    • Tres Cool

      #RoadBoys

  39. Hyperion

    I’m not sure what the dems are thinking at this point. They’re so desperate they’ve lost all of the rational thinking that they still had remaining. You get a real epidemic and it kills millions of people, guess where most of the dead will be? In major cities. That’s your voters, you fucking morons. It could wipe out all you’ve gained through decades of stockpiling blue voters in metro areas. You could lose NY, CA, etc forever.

    Let’s take the MD Coronavirus map for instance. All of the cases are in the highly populated areas. There are none in the West. Ever since the Mueller Russian hysteria, they’ve completely lost their ability to reason.

    • hayeksplosives

      That’s why they have to thwart democracy itself. Can’t have people thinking for themselves or determining what’s in their own best interests.

      Abuse the power they have now in order to consolidate it for another term. With a fawning media gushing all along the way.

    • Drake

      As long as the dead keep voting for them, they’ll be okay.

    • Naptown Bill

      I’m having a daily semiargument at home over whether or not closing bars and restaurants was a good idea. The missus believes it absolutely was and it’s ridiculous to think otherwise. I think it wasn’t, because a.) the economic damage will exceed the damage caused by the disease in the absence of forced closings, and b.) if a person with corona isn’t allowed to go to a bar it doesn’t mean they’ll just sit in a closet until they’re safe; they’re going to go buy groceries, gas, all the usual shit. You’ve shut down one area where infection can happen; unless you shut them all down, you still have the uninfected exposed to the infected in other venues.

      Meanwhile, my wife and I are both effectively off of work until April, daycare’s open, and our youngest is small enough to take places in a car seat while he sleeps, and the stupid bars are closed! It’s like that Twilight Zone episode, “All the Time in the World”.

      • dontreadonme

        Write it!

  40. Mojeaux

    Re the wee tax deduction: Congrats!

    Babies are awesome.

    For about 5 minutes and then I give them back.

    • TARDIS

      I usually wait until they start to stink.

      Congrats on the new Tax Calf, Brett.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        I usually wait until they start to stink.

        In other words, for about 5 minutes and then you give them back.  ;-)

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      So what you are saying is that you are ready to be a grandmother.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh HAIL no!

        My kids are 16.5 and 14. Neither of them are at all interested in having children and in fact, are semi-actively avoiding it.

      • pistoffnick

        My mom had me at 17

      • dontreadonme

        That’s what YOU think.

    • Mad Scientist

      You should always give them back after upgrading them with espresso and a kitten.

  41. DEG

    Oh, and it appears Mrs. L and I are expecting another shit-lord or -lady. November 6, or thereabouts.

    Congratulations!

    Two caveats are worth making. The first is that the stock market is not the economy. Stock prices reflect investors’ best predictions about what various companies will be worth, and how much those companies will produce in dividends, in the fairly near future.

    Something intelligent from Vox? WTF?

    I like the South Korea story.

    • Drake

      It really does seem like the only thing on lock-down are old-folks homes.

      • AlmightyJB

        Oh I can leave my house but everything is closed. Bars, restaurants, bowling alleys, movie theaters, barbershops. It’s bullshit.

      • Tres Cool

        Glad I got a hurrcut on Saturday

    • tarran

      I just finished listening to Joe Rogan’s podcast with an epidemiologist, and he explained it pretty well (without the hysteria).

      1) This disease is highly contagious. Probably the most contagious new virus to arrive on the scene in the modern era. If you stay in a room with an infected person for an hour or so, you will get infected. Prior to showing symptoms, people start producing record breaking numbers of virii that coat their nasal passages, throats, and mouths. Those large numbers guarantee that the moisture droplets people exhale normally are carrying a significant number of virii which will float around until someone inhales it.

      2) The virus is not dangerous unless you have an exacerbating condition. The exarcebating conditions include.. being over 65, or obesity. Guess what percentage of the U.S. population is obese? 😉

      3) There is a huge shortage of respirators and other protective equipment needed to safely treat the sick. This puts an upper limit to the number of cases the various health care systems can handle.

      4) As a short term thing, one can close schools etc in order to slow the spread of the illness. BTW, for influenza, a major source of transmission of the disease is Adult in household A gets sick, gives it to child in household A, who then infects all the kids in his class, who then in turn infect their parents.

      5) As a long term thing, these shutdowns are destructive, since for example, a third of nurses in the U.S. are single parents who can’t work if their children have nobody to watch them.

      6) As soon as the quarantines/lock-downs are relaxed, there will be new waves of infections.

      He didn’t talk about Quinine, which I’ve heard the Koreans found is very helpful in reducing the worst ravages of the disease, I suspect because that news came out after the podcast was recorded.

      • pistoffnick

        “…Quinine, which I’ve heard the Koreans found is very helpful…”

        {perks up}

        Quinine, you say, old chap?

        {Rummages in fridge for tonic water. Gets the gin out of the liquor cabinet. Pours a stiff gin and tonic}

        FOR HEALTH!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Looks like high blood pressure is not good.

  42. Rufus the Monocled

    Are we at the ‘martial law by other means’ stage yet?

    I’m starting to get a tiny bit worried where this can go. The cure worries me more than Covid (ie the flu).

    • Donation Not Taxation

      With the quotation marks implies question refers to nongovernmental suppression of wrongthink and wrongspeech.

      Without quotation marks around that exact phrase, one answer is that the two main criteria of martial law are military takeover of functions of civilian government and revocation of liberties, rights, and so on. Is Canada at the point where whatever the government says goes with the excuse being The Coronavirus?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        They kinda are in a roundabout way.

        Hence, the ‘by other means’ part.

        It’s benign. But who is to say this can’t escalate?

        Part of me says this stops by April latest. The other part of me says ‘don’t under estimate the stupidity of people once fear over takes under the guise of rational thought’.

        /takes another sip of O’Hara’s.

      • C. Anacreon

        I’m thinking we’re going to see things start up again once we hit April as well.

        People will start being really sick of being stuck in their homes by then, and clamoring to escape.

        And by then we should have tons more testing capacity and incredible amounts of data, and the medical community can say OK, bring it on, we are prepared, and the curve will be flattened like Anthony F. of NIH has been wishing for.

        If that happens, perhaps we’ll get through this relatively OK.

        From what I’m hearing from my medical colleagues, this opinion is shared. Yes, it’s a best-case scenario, but keep your fingers crossed.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        That view seems to assume that once The Coronavirus goes away, that all of the changes will go away.

        Also, please elaborate ‘benign’

  43. Rufus the Monocled

    Now i’m getting all sorts of Qnon conspiracy emails.

  44. TARDIS

    Anyone else get socially distanced at work? I am now forced to work a split afternoon/evening shift to stay away from peers. This sucks, but oh well, at least I have job.

    • Gustave Lytton

      You mean after the virus, right?

      • TARDIS

        You mean after the virus, right?

        So far, so good.

        It’s really quiet, though. Plus I get to miss the morning cluster fuck and circle jerk.

    • Hyperion

      I’m working from home 100% of the time instead of 50% of the time, which I’ve been doing for more than a decade.

      The only one suffering around here is my wife. She can’t (won’t) travel and she can’t get away from me since I’m here all day.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I’m WFH too. Was 1 day a week prior.

  45. Hyperion

    Am I the only one to notice this? They’ve so far failed to blame the pandemic on climate change. Do they need a memo or what?

  46. R C Dean

    I hope drugs don’t fall out my ass, but this is just priceless:

    Chancellor Angela Merkel has addressed German citizens in a televised speech saying “since WWII there has never been a challenge for our country in which acting in solidarity was so very crucial” and called on people to help tackle the spread of COVID-19 by sticking to rules.

    So I guess invading Poland it is.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I don’t think that came out quite like she wanted it to, LMAO!

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Fucken Hobbit from Middle-Earth.

      My hate for all this hysteria is reaching unhealthy levels.

    • Rhywun

      She could have more elegantly stated it as “since the end of WWII” I guess.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You know who else…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I expect the shootings to go up. The typical Baltimore thug reaction to times of stress is not to become less violent.

    • Rhywun

      Maybe float another one of those naval hospitals into the Inner Harbor.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Better to float one of those garbage scows to collect the bodies on.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I stopped reading after “The Daily Beast”.

      And you should have too.

      • Tres Cool

        You cant honestly say that “put me in a suitcase” isnt compelling journalism.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They were just trying the new Ghosn position.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I stop reading at:

        Washington Post, NYT, The Atlantic, MacLean’s (Canada!) , CBC, BBC, The Guardian and so on.

        I’d rather get my news from Jughead.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey! Tres is a Good Guy,
        Leave him be….

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        You of all people are warning against a link?

    • DEG

      Again, Vahn says she agreed because it made Wood happy. “Those were not necessarily consensual. They were, because I did those things, but I did it under pressure. Do this or I’ll leave you. It was emotionally horrific, and so exhausting,” she says.

      You agreed but it wasn’t necessarily consensual? Nonsense.

      • Tulip

        So….leave him?

      • Naptown Bill

        I think that’s the definition of consent, isn’t it?

  47. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think I’m tired from stress trying to get the business and family in order this week. I can’t be alone in that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I gave up, it won’t kill me to just chill out, spastic as I am,

    • Drake

      Yes. My wife and son are both stressed from how this interrupts their lives and I tired of refereeing their disputes.

    • Nephilium

      I’m exhausted from work. I’ve been putting in more time with everything going on, and it turns out that one skill set I have (having fairly good skills at setting up and batching in phones) is in extremely high demand at work. The problem is we weren’t able to get a consistent request form out there in front of it, so each batch of requests that comes in is off in some new and different manner. Then needing to have the same conversations with every department over and over as to why the initial idea they have will cause more problems (forwarding ACD extensions to cell phones) then it will solve, and the solution we’re rolling out (softphones) is the one they’ll eventually need to go with. Each time I think we’ve got most of them taken care of, another three groups calls in, or e-mails, or has three different people open tickets, or…

  48. Rufus the Monocled

    IT’S. THE…..FLU.

    • LJW

      CV DEATH RATE

      Confirmed Cases
      Male 4.7%
      Female 2.8%

      Fucking patriarchy…

  49. C. Anacreon

    So about a year ago I was finally able to convince my wife to let me clean out the garage and put in a mini-home gym, with essentially the same elliptical trainer and sit-up machines I was driving several miles to a gym to use each day. I know I already recouped the cost in saved mileage, but overall, with everyone required to stay in their homes around here, and all the gyms being closed, I still get to do my workout daily and am feeling like a prescient genius. Still waiting for my wife to agree with me on that last part, though.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Did you get her a Peloton for Christmas?

    • Fourscore

      I have mine in the garage too. My wife thinks I’m hiding from her and am just drinking coffee and pretending to be too tired to look at the refrig list. So far its worked…

    • LJW

      And they said there’s no sports to bet on during the lockdown.

  50. Tulip

    I plan to call them Trump bucks just to piss people off.

    • C. Anacreon

      And you can take pictures of your Trump Bucks with your ObamaPhone!

  51. Spudalicious

    Woohoo! Congress critter self quarantining. I’m seeing a silver lining here.

  52. CPRM

    I put up with a lot of offensive things on this site, but you fucks finally done and gone pushed me over the cliff! I can’t even begin to express how outraged I am these comments!

    Rothbardsbitch on March 18, 2020 at 11:49 am
    SugarFree I am serious this would make a great comic, you need to get together with an illustrator.

    Reply
    Avatar
    SugarFree on March 18, 2020 at 11:52 am
    I’ve tried to find one. No one seems interested in drawing someone else’s idea.

    Reply
    Rothbardsbitch
    Rothbardsbitch on March 18, 2020 at 12:04 pm
    If its illustrated would you try and/or self publish it?

    Reply
    Avatar
    SugarFree on March 18, 2020 at 12:08 pm
    I guess. I keep meaning to put up the stories themselves in collections as ebooks, but never get around to it. Different shit keeps popping up.

    Reply
    Scruffy Nerfherder
    Scruffy Nerfherder on March 18, 2020 at 1:07 pm
    If you’ll settle for stick figures, then I can help.

    What the hell am I?! Chopped Flavor-Aid?!

    (Day off, been up for 24 hrs and quite a few beers in, fight me!)

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m too tired to fight. Let’s do this after quarantine is over (ie never).

    • Rufus the Monocled

      i have a LOT shit ringing in my head. A lot. I just can’t bring them to life because I’m useless with the pencil. USE-LESS.

      So I just jot it all down in stick figure. And……whatever.

      /Goes back to listing to score of The Magnificent Seven.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My son has actually been in contact with Elmer Bernstein’s son about that music. He got a free copy of the score with the expectation he would work on arranging it for the pipe organ.

        I just figured out how to keep him busy for the next few weeks.

    • The Hyperbole

      For what it’s worth I thought you were ill served as well. I laughed, sure, but I did think that those assholes were out of line.

      • CPRM

        Meh, just ruffling some feathers, I too wish I had access to a skilled artist.

      • AlmightyJB

        It’s like when you offer to fix something for parents and they say “that’s ok, we’ll have a professional do it”.

      • Tres Cool

        So you’ve met my Dad ?

      • AlmightyJB

        We might be related:)

      • CPRM

        I was always told the best way to be successful was to know your shortcomings and surround yourself with people talented in ways you know you fall short. That doesn’t seem to be the way people think anymore.

      • The Hyperbole

        My father claims that during the Carter stagnation era he couldn’t find work and thus devised a plan to borrow money for a remodeling job on our house, and pay himself to do the work. Now you can argue about the economics of borrowing money to pay yourself, but according to him my mothers only concern was that they should get other quotes for the job. It may shock some of you to learn that they separated not long after that.

      • Fourscore

        Really funny, the hyper, now picture an old guy convincing his wife that he can built a house. We’re still together, house is going on 30 years, warm in the winter.

        Here were the non-negotiables:

        Kitchen had to face the east
        All rooms, including the basement, had to have a window
        Had to be warm
        Lots of outlets

        She was surprised and happy (Metoo)

    • Tulip

      I figured you had already said no

      • CPRM

        I went and made cover art for SF’s collected works unsolicited. (Hell my first post on this site was unsolicited artwork for SF

        CPRM on June 19, 2017 at 11:41 am
        I don;t know if any of you folks will recognize me, I was a longtime lurker at the other place. Anyway, I was the guy that made the artwork to go with SF’s Girl with the Nazi-ray Eyes Warty story. I goy bored the other day and
        I did some hat and hair artwork

        )

      • Mojeaux

        That was also my assumption.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I thought of you when I saw that CPRM, I really did. But I said nothing, so I guess I’m just as guilty as the rest.

      • CPRM

        I to saw it and said nothing, because I think it would be badass if a good artist animated or made a comic out of SF’s work. Unfortunately, you’re stuck in here with me! (and I’m over-tired and drunk)

    • SugarFree

      Comics, not cartoons, bruh. You still loved.

      • CPRM

        No prob, just felt if the world was freaking out over Mexican Beer Virus, I should have a freak out to make people feel stable and secure. I’m a stable genius.

      • SugarFree

        Panic is fun!

  53. R C Dean

    From the silver lining department:

    My brewpub of choice, and my pizza and beer (31 taps!) joint of choice have announced 20% on growlers in response to our idiot governor’s closure of bars and restaurants. As I always have an empty growler in the car, I will be filling up on the way home.

    • AlmightyJB

      I’ve not done the growler thing yet but I think I’m going to get carry out from my local pub tomorrow night and buy one.

      • R C Dean

        I have a couple of these, and like them muchly. Unless you plan to drain the growler immediately upon opening, and then they are unnecessary.

      • AlmightyJB

        Fancy. I should get one for cold brew coffee, if I ever go back in the office again:)

    • JD is Unemployed

      An additional 20% markup on beer seems reasonable. I’d pay that if scarcity necessitated it.

      • R C Dean

        Whoopsie. Forgot the crucial “discount”.

    • Nephilium

      Check first. Up here the department of health asked the breweries to only fill newly sold growlers, and no refills. Regardless of the fact that I keep my growlers filled with StarSan.

      • R C Dean

        I use glass growlers for the refills, and decant them into the pressurized growler. State regs.

        Requiring that growlers be single use only (which is how I read “newly sold growlers and no refills”) is bugfuck nuts.

  54. CPRM

    From what I understand, we’ll be shutting down, but I’ll still have to go to work…On the other hand 40hrs paid leave has been approved if you come down with the virus…Now to make friends with someone who is infected…

    • CPRM

      Here, after we broke your legs we fashioned the bones into crutches. You’ll never regain the use of your legs, but you’ll have a cool story to tell.

      • C. Anacreon

        And he dug up her grave

        Built a cage with her bones

        Excitable boy they all said.

      • AlmightyJB

        And then he was elected Governer.

      • Shirley Knott

        Iain Banks, The Chairmaker, from Use of Weapons.

      • Spudalicious

        Just an excitable boy.

      • Tundra

        Can you imagine the Zevon/Reed collaborations happening right now?

      • The Hyperbole

        That sonofabitch Van Owen!

    • AlmightyJB

      I never watched Portlandia but I recently caught some UTube clips. Yeah, I think they got that Portland zeitgeist down.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It was an AP story, so not strictly Portlandia other than they did reprint it.

    • Rhywun

      I can’t even with this line of attack.

      • C. Anacreon

        “Tonight let’s have dinner on the good china.”

        “Now you’ve done it, honey. As soon as you mentioned china, the two Vietnamese boys across the street got hate crime’d.”

      • Rhywun

        You would think after more than three years of “Trump’s America” they would understand that pinning every incident of some asshole being a dick to some delicate flower who runs to the media just doesn’t faze him at all.

  55. The Bearded Hobbit

    Comedy break

    I liked the puppet eating cars.

  56. LJW

    With all this money spent on stimulus, would it have been better to just let the virus run its course without shutting down the country, then invest a ton into temporary hospitals and respirator manufacturing?

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Why ‘then’? Try the rest of the sentence without it.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Better: replace ‘then’ with ‘while’

  57. Sandi

    “Happy Wednesday, let’s get panicking!”

    Although I have rersigned myself to shitting in place, I wouldn’t say that constitues pankicing.

    • C. Anacreon

      All right! Sandi’s back!

      (re-hangs map with pins of various towns Sandi told us about)

  58. CPRM

    You ever see people talking and just assume they’re talking about you? That’s my job.

    • Jarflax

      We are.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m flattered that you’re paid to talk about me. But you must get bored.

  59. JD is Unemployed

    I love Richard Epstein.

    • CPRM

      So, you’re changing your handle to JD loves Dick?

      • Jarflax

        So you are saying Epstein was hung?

      • JD is Unemployed

        Haha!