IFLA: The “Predictions Were Made” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of March 22

by | Mar 22, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 319 comments

I made predictions and I stand by them.  I say that since there’s very little new news in the sky.  The only one still there is the Mars-Jupiter-Saturn one that’s causing all this panic.  However, Capricorn should feel a weight being lifted as Saturn moves off.  Capricorn’s gain is Pisces’ loss however, and the rest of us should watch out for tainted water supplies.  Speed is king this week with the moon and Mercury being in Pisces.  It’s great if you’re trying to go fast and/or escape but crappy if you’re trying to catch someone/thing.  If you are fortunate enough to have someone to shelter in place with, make the most of next weekend as the moon passes through Taurus with Venus.

The cards this week indicate that men will be a disappointment, but that the week will end with good financial news.

Aries:  4 of Wands – repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace

Taurus:  Page of Swords reversed – A junior member of the team attempts to undermine you, what is unforeseen, unprepared state, sickness

Gemini:  Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud

Cancer:  The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity

Leo:  5 of Wands – Imitation, competition, struggle after riches

Virgo:  Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude

Libra:  7 of Coins reversed – Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if you are a lender

Scorpio: The Hierophant reversed – Society, good understanding, concord, overkindness, weakness

Sagittarius:  The Star reversed – Arrogance, haughtiness, impotence

Capricorn:  9 of Coins –  Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment

Aquarius: 8 of Cups – The decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence

Pisces:  Knight of Swords reversed – Imprudence, incapacity, extravagance

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

319 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: The Fool reversed – Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity – goddamnit I knew I should not have visited my mom this weekend. What is I spread the virus?

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Capricorn: 9 of Coins – Prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment

    Things are lookin’ up!

    • Hyperion

      That’s actually horrifying. As every Capricorn forecast has been doom and destruction, since the beginning, I’m pretty sure with this one being that positive, we’re really doomed this time. It’s sort of like listening to CNN when you know whatever they’re saying is the opposite of the actual reporting.

  3. westernsloper

    watch out for tainted water supplies beer *insert spring break beach butt chugging video*

    Gemini: Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud
    Are these things going to continue to be done to me, or is this a list of new skills I am going to acquire?

    • Tulip

      What did I ever do to the stars?

    • Hyperion

      Now we’re actually going to learn from a NYT or Atlantic article, that the virus actually thrives on beer and that Trump forced all the breweries to contaminate the beer with the virus.

  4. MikeS

    Pisces: Knight of Swords reversed – Imprudence, incapacity, extravagance

    I’m not sure what to make of that. A fun week ahead?

    • Sean

      You’ll find some toilet paper in stock.

    • Not Adahn

      If you decide to make it rain and wake up handcuffed to a bed, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    • Hyperion

      While everyone else is cowering in their homes and hoarding TP, this guy is being extravagant. Damn you kulaks and wreckers!

    • peachy rex

      My fiancee is coming in from out of town with her new dog. I think I can promise imprudence and extravagance, at least.

  5. Charles Easterly

    “I made predictions and I stand by them.”

    I, for one, am unlikely to fully believe our fellow commentators’ predictions.

    After writing that, I think that there may be a discussion regarding veracity.

    • Not Adahn

      Another SCIENCE! denier.

    • westernsloper

      The only one still there is the Mars-Jupiter-Saturn one that’s causing all this panic.

      Science! Hard to argue the veracity of that.

      • Not Adahn

        Saying the same science that can tell us what the universe was like billyuns of years ago can’t tell us when a silly little plague is going to end is like saying Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Ever since his time at AA Nazareth, I’ve always thought his hands were too low. His batting coach told him he’d never bat over 250 with that individual style; I mean: name me one dude who got anyway with a swing like that? Ok Stan Musial, but there was only one Stan the Man. If I were his batting coach, he’d get those damned hands up if I had to nail ’em up.

      • Jarflax

        Did Seen Was, add your own pronouns.

      • Ozymandias

        Okay, Don; I’ll say it. That was pretty damn good.
        Late payoff, great setup.

      • Jarflax

        Congratulations, that is the least coherent thing I have read since someone linked Jezebel.

      • westernsloper

        You don’t Jobu?

    • Not Adahn

      Gonna stir fry some eye of round as I make my way through a cabbage.

      • Sean

        Isn’t that a bit on the lean side for stir fry?

      • Not Adahn

        Since it’s going to be sauced, I’m more on the lookout for no connective tissue.

    • Nephilium

      Mash has started, beer will be made today.

    • MikeS

      The wife is currently making corned beef hash for a late brunch.

  6. hayeksplosives

    Aries: 4 of Wands – repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace

    Wow, that’s the best outlook I’ve had in ages!

    • Tres Cool

      And the new avatar!

      Hubba x2

  7. hayeksplosives

    I want to know what is in my future meal today…

    • Lackadaisical

      On the look out for a poisoning?

    • Spudalicious

      It’s Sunday, so pizza.

      • hayeksplosives

        Could up being grilled burgers. We have the ground beef, just need to check down the hill for buns!!

        With the sun shining, I want to be outside a bit today.

  8. Nephilium

    For those other beer drinkers out there, one group has compiled a list of options by state to support your local brewery.

    • Lackadaisical

      Thanks for the link.

      COVID-19 has put small and independent breweries—and our entire economy—in peril.

      I get it, but I hate the implication- they should be saying “the response to covid-19”.

      • Nephilium

        Not a problem, and I agree on the observation.

    • MikeS

      FoxNews has had that same headline up on the front page for a day+ now.

    • westernsloper

      From 10 am to 12 pm four people died so it is really killing two people an hour. They are downplaying it.

      • Sean

        Providing cover for Trump.

    • Suthenboy

      But who are they? Nursing home residents or are people in their prime dropping dead in the streets?

      I didnt read the article.

  9. Mojeaux

    Taurus: Page of Swords reversed – A junior member of the team attempts to undermine you, what is unforeseen, unprepared state, sickness

    Unprepared: For those following along at home, I’m seeking to shop and cook cheaply for 4 people. One person doesn’t like anything I make at all. One person likes funeral potatoes to the exclusion of all else and will suck that down like it’s Gatorade on a 120F day. Three of us love the only 2 dishes I make, but though it’s “cheap,” we eat them so fast they become expensive in both time and money (I know how to fix that, no problem; I just haven’t been willing to load up on that many carbs but desperate times call for carbs). One of us would go through 10 lbs of fruit per day. Again, it’s the rate at which the food is eaten (hint: not the parents). Nobody likes rice. A couple of people are okay with potatoes. Beef stew tastes like boiled meat.

    I need to find a way to feed all these people on the cheap when they’re so fucking picky OR ravenous, and mommy blogs aren’t helping.

    • Sean

      Big pots of chili?

    • Mojeaux

      Also: I did the calculations. It would cost me more to make chicken pot pies than buy them. Same with bread. I can’t find a way to save on stuff we do eat by making it fresh at home. Canned potato soup is cheaper than the way I make it. Same with chili. Probably also not-marinara, but I’m not eating canned/jarred spaghetti sauce.

      This is like how sewing your own clothes slowly turned from frugal to expensive hobby.

      • Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        From Lady Zorg – if you put jarred sauce in a pan and let it simmer for 20-30 minutes minimum, and add some more spices/herbs, it’ll really cut down on acidity. Makes a huge difference. She suggests an hour for maximum effect.

      • Rhywun

        I have no problem with most jarred sauce (preferably without added sugar) but this sounds like something worth trying anyway. Cool!

    • Lackadaisical

      Make the rice and let them get hungry enough to eat it. /toughlove

      • Mojeaux

        Handy list. Thanks.

        I use lard in pie crusts. Never occurred to me to fry with it versus butter.

        One thing I do is get stacks of corn tortillas and fry them into the taco shells myself. I haven’t done the calculations on that. Tacos are cheap because you can’t put a whole lot in them but they still fill you up.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        the problem with lard is that you might live to 100 eating it

        I’m related to a ton of long-lived people who ate bacon and eggs, cooked with lard . . .

        But that was before you could drink covfefe every day.

        cook with caution!

      • Fourscore

        Ummmm, brownies and cold whole milk! Its what’s for dinner, Mom! And cheap!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Also portion control. Plate up in the kitchen for the children and go light on the more expensive dishes. Establish what the expectations are.If they go around and get seconds/after meals, cut them off of the leftovers the next day.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And lead by example.

      • Mojeaux

        Mr. Mojeaux and I have both had gastric bypass and are physically restricted to small portions.

        The big food fight around here is that I can’t have a box of, say, crackers in the cabinet for me to graze on over a long period of time or not at all for a while without one of the kids eating it out from under me. Mr. Mojeaux and I both have to hide food so it won’t be consumed immediately.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        I read in the Daily Wail about moms who hide goodies in unappealing packaging, like in bags of frozen veg.

      • Sean

        Hide the Kit Kats under the brussel sprouts.

      • The Hyperbole

        Last week at Kroger the only frozen veggies left were Brussels spouts, people be buggin’.

      • Rhywun

        Hide the Kit Kats under the brussel sprouts.

        That sure would worked on me.

      • Sean

        I’ve recently discovered I like roasted brussel sprouts topped with bacon and a side of horseradish sour cream dipping sauce.

        Can’t get enough of them now.

        *shrug*

      • Mojeaux

        A lot of veggies do awesomely well with roasting.

    • westernsloper

      Tell them to eat what is put if front of them and stfu. Worked for my parents. I came to love baloney sandwiches on white bread with mustard. Not because they are great, but because I knew I would not starve to death. #grewuppoorwhitetrash

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m familiar with that circumstance.

      • Mojeaux

        My mom did that with us but she was a good cook. Except she didn’t teach me and as soon as she got some more money to work with, she stopped cooking at all and we foraged. Now she doesn’t remember how she did it. I asked.

        My kids have been foraging since they could walk. I make dinner maybe twice a month. They cook for themselves and our pantry and fridge is full of ingredients. XX loves green beans—with bacon. Bacon’s a luxury right now in those quantities.

        (Hint: My Reuben sandwiches are made with Buddig corned beefish slices. Don’t kill me.)

        Even cheap ingredients get expensive in volume.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My kids have been foraging since they could walk. I make dinner maybe twice a month. They cook for themselves and our pantry and fridge is full of ingredients.

        Your not going to get different results if you don’t change the inputs. Stop letting them cook for/feeding themselves. Establish weekly meal plans, with recipes, for the entire family & establish portion control. Have the kids help, but have them cook on schedule for everyone. End grazing outside of set meals.

      • Mojeaux

        *sigh*

        Okay.

        I thought I could do this without having to have nightly dinner, but … I guess not.

      • westernsloper

        My mom, bless her heart love her to death, was a horrible cook. Neither my sis or I realized this until later in life when we discovered cooking ourselves. In my case, throw in a few good women over the years who were foodies and I became a passable if not good cook. My mom, on the other hand……well, I am polite because that is what loving children do. She asks me how to make things now and when they know I am smoking something over the weekend they always put in a request which I gladly oblige. It’s the least I can do after they kept me alive with baloney sandwiches through some very hard times for them.

      • Mojeaux

        My Gma from Hell #1 was a horrible cook. My dad would experiment trying to cook, burn the pans, and then instead of trying to clean them, he’d hide them in the basement. He never got to where he could cook, not even in self-defense. As soon as he got married, he started gaining weight.

      • Jarflax

        ^ Mine was a horrible cook, and my Dad was a great cook, so of course because he was hyper conservative she did all the cooking. She also would go on various fad diets and try to impose them on the rest of us. To this day I hate brown rice and whole wheat bread because they would periodically appear out of the blue, and do not get me started on margarine and fake salt. My brothers and I would go to the nearby butcher shop and get deli pickles as treats because salt was off the menu. She also seemed oblivious to the fact that 3 adolescent boys and one toddler eat more than 2 toddler boys. At one point she took a cooking class, and for about a week the food was good, but (as with most bad cooks) her problem was unwillingness to actually take the time for all the steps so it rapidly returned to bad.

        Hint, if the recipe calls for pounding chicken breast into cutlets, dredging them in egg white and seasoned bread crumbs and then sauteing them you don’t get the same result by shaking unpounded chicken breast in bread crumbs then sauteing them. You get undercooked nastiness.

      • Suthenboy

        “My mom, bless her heart love her to death, was a horrible cook. Neither my sis or I realized this until later in life when we discovered cooking ourselves.”

        Brother? Is that you?

      • westernsloper

        This right here is why some of the TPTB think we are all a bunch of racists.

      • The Hyperbole

        That and all the racism.

      • westernsloper

        Sounds about right.

      • Suthenboy

        I thought we had established that it isn’t racist if you just hate everybody.

      • Rhywun

        I see we had the same mom.

      • Tres Cool

        The only pass I got for “eat whats on the plate” was liver. Mama Tres would bread it, and fry it with onions, and it smelled so damn good.
        But just 1 bite and it was on the way back out. So I think my alternate was PB&J on those nights.

      • westernsloper

        In our house as kids Dad had to have liver and onions at least once a month. My sis and I hated it, and what kid doesn’t. The last time my sis visited Dad admitted that he asked Mom to make liver and onions again. He said they threw it away and admitted he had no idea other than tormenting us kids, why he would force it on us as children. We told him it was a good thing we are now in our 50’s and he is 80 or we would call CPS on him for the prior abuse.

      • Tres Cool

        Well, on salmon pattie night (I swear, a block away from the house and I could smell Mama Tres fryin those nasty things) the side was good ol blue box Kraft mac & cheese, which was my favorite. The rule was “no seconds until you’ve cleaned your plate”. Id sneak salmon to the dog, just so I could get more Kraft. And usually my asshole brother would narc me out.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Kraft mac is great for the five seconds it remains hot. Worse than french fries in that respect.

      • Suthenboy

        I happen to love liver and onions. Also, at least once per month I fry chicken livers.

      • Gender Traitor

        I was blessed with a mother who hated liver, so she never imposed it on us. (Thanks, Mom!)

        She was an average cook on a fairly low budget. I remember a lot of boiled beef and potatoes (and green beans – blech!! : P ) She was really into “momming” – not so much cooking (or housework. I believe that thanks to her – and the household habits I inherited from her – my immune system is strong like ox.)

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, my mom wasn’t a notably bad cook either, but a bit lazy and selfish. Once we finally got a microwave it was a lot of baked potatoes nuked in the microwave for times that wouldn’t cook them evenly or properly. A treat was steaks that were nuked too, so overdone and watery.

      • RAHeinlein

        Fry the baloney and add Cheese Wiz.

      • westernsloper

        A while ago I made fried balony sandwiches for the guys at work. Toast the bread with butter, fry the baloney, swiss cheese and top with coleslaw. Food of the gods!

    • Rhywun

      Bologna, mustard and/or Miracle Whip, bread. “Make yourself some sandwiches for dinner.”

      • Shirley Knott

        Yup. Except in our house it was called ‘minced ham’. I have no idea if that was a familial or a regional thing. ‘Bologna’ came in rings, not sandwich size slices. (Era — 50s/60s. Region — Iowa/Nebraska/South Dakota junction)

    • Mojeaux

      OTOH, XX can buy her own food now, and if XY gets this job at McDonalds, he will get free food.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Baked potatoes with choose-your-own toppings? (And sub ham hock or liquid smoke in the bacon green beans?)

      • Mojeaux

        We always have potatoes around. I need to make hash browns with the bag I’ve got. They’re getting smooshy.

    • blackjack

      Here, in north Mexico (los Angeles) the huge Mexican families serve lots of rice and beans with torillas. It’s the cheapest way to feed a huge crowd. Throw in a little meat here and there to keep everyone happy, just don’t drink the water.

      • blackjack

        Or, you could make pineapple carbonara. Is it OK to put pineapple in carbonara?

      • westernsloper

        It will be soon. Working up a recipe.

      • mindyourbusiness

        *barfs on keyboard*

      • Lackadaisical

        Could you put that on top of my deep dish?

      • westernsloper

        ?

      • Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        For a sec, I thought this was a reply to mindyourbusiness.

      • Shirley Knott

        Sadly (tragically even) I can no longer eat beans or bean-meal. Fortunately, I love peanut butter and it’s dirt cheap. And permitted ;-\

      • Mojeaux

        I like beans. Fam won’t eat it and I’m sorry, when you’ve got people willing to go hungry rather than eat beans, they get really expensive really fast.

        I love ham’n’bean soup with cornbread.
        I love refried beans in my tacos.
        I love refried beans mostly straight out of the can.
        I love pork’n’beans straight out of the can.
        I love beans in my chili.

        But I can’t eat a pot of ham’n’beans by myself and make the math work too.

      • Suthenboy

        Long ago I published my bean recipe. One can of black beans or field peas with snaps. About 1/8 of a medium onion. Three or four jalapeño slices. If the beans are unseasoned add one chicken bouillon cube. Two slices of bacon cut up in 1/2″ pieces. A touch of garlic and red pepper.

        If after cooking until the onion and bacon is done you want dip you can put all of that in a blender, spread out evenly in a bowl and top with cheddar, fresh chopped tomato, some jalapeño slices and fresh chopped sweet onion. Dip with corn chips.

        It is so good wife and I occasionally have that as a meal in itself. We both eat well for less than five bucks.

        Same with chicken livers money wise. A one pound tub costs less than two bucks and it makes more than we can eat in one sitting.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Making up an Instant Pot of Senate bean soup this afternoon. Of all the things to turn up missing in the grocery store, no such thing as smoked ham hocks or pork jowl (I favor the jowl; meatier). Subbing in ham chunks and liquid smoke.
        Mo, what about making up a half batch? You may have it for three days in a row, but it just gets better the longer it sits.

      • westernsloper

        This is great advice. Rice + beans = complete protein.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        “rice and beans;
        beans and rice.”

        Dave Ramsey

      • westernsloper

        ?

      • Suthenboy

        Dont forget the salt pork or neck bones, both of which are pretty inexpensive.

    • Mojeaux

      Okay, Gustave gave me the eat it or starve tough love. Make meals, kill the foraging.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sorry Mojo. 🙁

        My wife was never big on leftovers, so over the years we’ve worked out how to reuse previous meals (usually the meat portion) into the next ones. Both for saving time and cutting down on food waste/cost. And freezing more of leftover soups and stews for ready made future meals.

      • Sean

        I love left overs.

        #lazy cook

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. Just had to come up with ways to work it out for both of us. Other way is leftover becomes my lunch for several days and I don’t have to figure out a separate lunch.

      • Suthenboy

        My grandfather took a job working on river boats before he was 20. The crews all ate in a huge mess hall. He said he had never eaten anything but his mothers cooking so on the first night when the cook slopped something on his plate he asked “What is that shit?”. The cook said “Fuck you, don’t eat it.” and took his plate away from him.

        That event and growing up on a hard scrabble farm shaped his attitude towards food and it now passed down three generations. My hackles start going up when I hear people complain about not having food just so so. It tells me they have never been hungry.

    • Suthenboy

      It is a good thing. y’all didnt grow up like I did. When food was put in front of us we ate it, no complaining or questions asked.

      • Hyperion

        We ate it because the alternative was going to our room without supper, after the beatings were over.

      • Pine_Tree

        For us, there was an intermediate/modified step where we had to gag it down anyway after the whuppin’, and then go to our room.

      • Hyperion

        I find it endlessly amusing telling millennials stories about when I was a kid. They seem to get a lot of amusement out of it, but they clearly believe that I’m making it all up. If they only knew…

      • Mojeaux

        That.

        However, that stopped the noght my mom was experimenting with egg foo yung and I was about to get the belt, until I puked it all back up into my plate. I got sent to my room without dinner, but I didn’t get the belt.

        I’m not willing to either a) let my kids go hungry or b) beat them for not eating what I cook.

        Of course, I didn’t know u til later that no one else liked it either and gave everybody an excuse not to eat it.

        My mom pretty much stopped experimenting after that.

    • Tulip

      Given the age of your kids, is this something you could ask them to help solve? I mean sit down with them, explain the costs, even to showing receipts, then tell them that you need solutions and ask for their creativity. They both sound smart and creative, they may come up with something.

      • Tulip

        My parents had financial problems wit was a teen and the worst part for me was the helpless feeling. This might give them a way to help.

      • Jarflax

        This sounds like one of those ideas that ends up either being the greatest thing ever with the kids (or one of them) getting into it and picking up slack. Or possible a lot of winging and complaints, you never know.

      • Fourscore

        Reading the tales of yesteryear put some dust in my eye. Those days were long ago and shared by a lot of us. Happens that I like liver and the bologna sandwiches on yeasty home made bread would be a nice treat any day. My mother was a plain cook, we got a lot of chicken, boiled to death. Mom would say “This chicken is sure tender” and it was. Nothing was ever served rare but often rarely served.

        My oldest brother always said “We’re lucky to have been born poor” and he was right.

    • Not Adahn

      Classic cajun, but it fairly universal to all cucina pauvera:

      1. Something that has a lot or flavor, but is cheap. This is where the Trinity (onion, celery, bell pepper) came from. If you’ve got spices you’re looking to use up pre-move these could work too.

      2. Bulky stomach-filler (rice, pasta, potatoes, cornmeal, etc)

      3. Protein as available (chopped hard-boiled eggs works here too)

      Make a sauce/gravy using your flavoring, add the protein, serve over/tossed with the filler.

      • Mojeaux

        Excellent idea, thanks. Quick and easy.

        When I make spaghetti or stroganoff I just leave it on the stove for a while and people (*koffkoff XY koffkoff*) just fill their bowls whenever. Never makes it to the fridge.

        THAT SAID, that is just the sauce and leave the noodles/pasta off to the side. The noodles never get eaten. I’m going to start mixing the noodles in so I can stretch it out really really far.

      • Mojeaux

        I failed to mentiom I make a huge stockpot full of sauce every time. This isn’t a skillet with one hamburger helper packet.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s a universal concept across cultures — think tortilla soup or breadcrumb soup or panzanella. You have something with flavor (dressing/soup stock) and use it to make an otherwise unappealing (but bulky) food taste good.

    • pistoffnick

      We grew up pretty poor – single mother raising two hungry boys.

      We ate a lot of tuna noodle casserole, a lot of pasta (Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese was 4 for a dollar), and a shit ton of Hubbard squash.

      The squash grew well in our sandy garden and kept well in the basement. I got so sick of squash that I have only recently started eating it again – 30 years later.

      I once made my brother and me grape and wiener omelettes because it was the only food in the fridge.

      Will the new place have space for a garden? I can send you some green bean seeds. These things are grow prolificly in Northern Minnesoda, I can’t imagine how well they would do in a more temperature place like Missery ;^)

      I have no advice. My family is extremely picky. Mrs. pistoffnick often cooks each kid an individual meal x 3 kids. I refuse to do that.

      There is some hope though. Daughter number 1 has found she likes Thai because her friend likes Thai. Daughter number 2 has suddenly found an interest in other foods because her boyfriend is vegetarian.

      Son and wife are hopeless. Son eats peanut butter “sadwiches” (no jelly), chicken noodle soup and popcorn chicken. Wife eats popcorn and pasta.

  10. Hyperion

    Come on now. Don’t we really just need one big Horoscope for all the months, titled ‘WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!’.

  11. Charles Easterly

    Let nothing be confirmed.

  12. Hyperion

    You know, just thinking ahead to the post-apocalypse days, whenever that happens, if I survive it. What are the odds that the media start blaming the pandemic ( I mean besides on Trump, obviously ), on climate change? Any one want to predict the odds on that?

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s not if, but how much.

    • AlmightyJB

      One thing I do know. They’re going to claim that restrictions put on our freedoms saved hundreds of thousands of lives. Why can’t we use that same “common sense” when it comes to gun control? I’m not looking forward to next flu season that’s for sure.

      • Sean

        They’re already touting how great wrecking our economy has been for the enviroment.

        The watermelons are going to run with this shit.

      • creech

        I heard that on the local CBS news this morning. Showed pics of Venice waterways and China cities. The weatherman chimed in about it just shows how much we can lower CO2 is we just put our minds to it. Lucky for us, the inconvenience being endured now will help shove the Green New Deal back under the pinko rock from which it came.

      • Nephilium

        Fuck… is it going to be our lockdown order?

      • Tres Cool

        My prediction is that he’s going to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on what Indiana does.

        I could be wrong. He’s a statist prick and he’s loving the power.

        #RecallMike !

      • AlmightyJB

        Oh he’s definitely loving it. Such a prick.

      • Gender Traitor

        Mr. GT pointed out that if DeWine doesn’t start looking shaggy on top as this drags on, he’s gonna call bullshit. #CheckYourBarberPrivilege

      • Nephilium

        And here it is. Shelter in place for Ohio from Tuesday at midnight until April 6th at a minimum.

      • Gender Traitor

        Fuck. I guess my bosses will have to figure out WTF that means for our credit union – are we “essential” or not?

      • Ted S.

        How truly unspeakably wicked of them.

      • westernsloper

        I can’t help but wonder how all this correlates/is related to normal flu. Interesting spikes for flu like symptoms in some weeks.

        Outpatient Illness Surveillance
        ILINet
        Nationwide during week 11, 5.8% of patient visits reported through the U.S. Outpatient Influenza-like Illness Surveillance Network (ILINet) were due to influenza-like illness (ILI). This percentage is above the national baseline of 2.4%.

        Ya, ya ya, I am looking for data to confirm my bias’s but people who don’t trust the Top Men do that. I don’t apologize. I think this shit has been around since Dec and people died but nobody was testing for it because we didn’t know it existed. It very well could be people get multiple strains of flu at once including Covid-19. Or I could be wrong and this is going to kill us all. I have been wrong often in my life.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m skeptical of earlier spread, but the lack of pretty much any surveillance testing and any real attempt to quantify the current spread before making economy wrecking decisions has been scaring the shit out of me.

        And you’re not wrong, it’s absolutely possible to have coinfections of influenza and Covid-19 at the same time.

    • AlmightyJB

      DeBlasio is already blaming every problem in NYC on Trump. What a tool.

      • creech

        And Gov. Cuomo is twiddling his thumbs and ignoring this: 1,098 deaths on average each year in NYS and 12,093 hospitalizations too.
        All from traffic accidents. If he really cared enough to save even one life, he’d lower the speed limit on all NY highways to 25mph.
        And just think how many new jobs would be created for truck drivers and traffic enforcement officers. He should probably ban ladders, too, and swimming pools, and slippery shower floors, and stairs, and….

    • Suthenboy

      I was thinking yesterday and surprised they haven’t already.

    • AlmightyJB

      If I wanted it, I would pay that for it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thanks for reminding me of how dumb I was to pass up the surplus rifles because they were too cheap when I was younger.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I wish I would have bought some too. I just assumed they would always be around cause gun stores would have boxes of them sitting out and they were cheap.

    • Jarflax

      Ever since some horrible person here linked the VSCO girl, all I can think when I see an SKS is “Save the turtles! Lol, and I oop”

      • AlmightyJB

        I didn’t, but I will now, thanks.

      • Jarflax

        Happy to be of ‘service’

      • Tres Cool

        I did my part too!

        I actually blame Mo, cause she brought the whole topic to light.

    • Sean

      I’d call it a reasonable deal. Depending on shipping costs.

      Slightly better if you have a C&R.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      I don’t much buy anything more expensive than a box of ammo from any entity I don’t have some leverage on. I just don’t trust; it’s not in my nature. I want a store-front or a personage I can sue in a local jurisdiction if things don’t work. So I tend to focus my energy on negotiating price on new and guaranteed goods and services with a face.

      If you love projects and jacking with stuff for hours on end, are happy with a 50% chance that this thing refuses to feed right, and don’t need it or the money for anything important: sure, why not.

      My decision-making arc goes like this:
      a/ develop urge/impulse and fall in love with some ideal (G-series)
      b/ assess risks of ideal ($150k)
      c/ cost out low risk variant (4WD F250 $50k)
      d/ enjoy low risk variant for 20 years and sell it just before maintenance becomes a nightmare

      It must be temperament. I grew up shade-tree; I’m a mechanical engineer; I’ve fixed up and built more things than most can imagine. Now I just want things that start every morning when I turn the key, things that go bang every time I touch the trigger.

      • Jarflax

        With guns I want to put my hands on it before I decide to buy, especially things with wood stocks. The difference in texture and look between two examples of the same model is the difference between a gun I love and one that sits in the safe untouched forever.

      • Aus

        Great points

    • Suthenboy

      Yes, it is a good deal. They are accurate and the quality of the machining is first class. Besides the ammo is cheap and easy to get. It isn’t a 350+ yard round but inside of that it is a good bit of firepower.

      If. you have the cheddar I would recommend getting two. If I. could justify it and had room in the bottom of my canoe I would get two myself.

      • Fourscore

        I put a black stock from Midway on one, has a right hand cheek piece , for right handers. Some say the Chinese chambers are not as polished as the Russian made though. Small difference. I gave that one away but got another one, same process, Russian, Midway stock, even though I’m left handed. I’ve eaten a number of deer from those things, shoot reloads well. I used a 4 X Chinese fixed power but since have went to an adjustable, haven’t zeroed yet, too much snow yet. The price/value is personal, pawnshops may have suitable guns for your purpose at lower prices, I dunno.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      (Third-person?)

      Poor guy. Talk about preexisting condition/s.

    • Sean

      Let’s hope he’s man enough to tackle this virus.

      • Tres Cool

        Just like his neighbor?

        /Hey-ohhh!

    • Rhywun

      Don’t read the comments.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        No shit, Twitter is a damn cesspool.

      • Not Adahn

        Ken White jizzing himself?

      • Suthenboy

        I have said it before…the left appeals to the worst parts of human nature and so attracts the worst kinds of people.
        I have never understood exactly what Paul has done to garner such vitriol.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Disagree with them and stand his ground.

      • Gender Traitor

        One of the only R’s (maybe the only?) with cojones.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        And Massie. If you lived in Covington you’d be represented by both of them.

      • westernsloper

        Don’t tell me what to do!……..fuck, shouldn’t have read the comments.

    • Rhywun

      Don’t read the comments.

      • Jarflax

        too late.

    • Pine_Tree

      Positive side may be that if/when he pushes back against some of the stupid panic measures, he’s got some “look, I’ve got it and some of these things are stupid” cred.

    • Hyperion

      Rand needs to steer clear of all things Asian. First he gets Jap tackled, and now the yellow flu.

  13. AlmightyJB

    I have to wonder how much of this panic buying is concern for CV versus how much is concern for government overreach versus concern over mob behavior.

    • Gustave Lytton

      A little of both trending towards government as time goes on. All three start to factor into thinking at the point of shopping. Dates are out on the half and half, maybe I’ll buy an extra one on this trip because don’t know the future holds.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Part of it is concern over the panic buying and the realization that even if you don’t panic you still might have issues getting groceries.

  14. Gender Traitor

    For any motorsports fans or anyone desperate for non-rerun sports, NASCAR is staging a virtual race with (most of?) the usual suspects racing on simulators, complete with the talking heads (apparently in separate locations for social distancing purposes.) Clint Bowyer’s on his simulator in the studio for maximum fun. For once, the young guns probably have the advantage. (On Fox Sports 1.)

    • Gender Traitor

      One of the drivers just tweeted that he was taking a break to pee (& included a pic of his dog ready to fill in for him.) If they figure out they can do that, the drivers may not want to go back to real cars.

  15. Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

    NYS has almost exactly half of the total confirmed cases in the United States. That’s . . . kinda alarming. I don’t have the granularity of data sources to see if it’s mostly New York City, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

      • Hyperion

        When people are packed into an area like sardines, what else would we expect? And the left’s answer to everything seems to involve packing us all into metro areas of even denser population.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yep

        And no thank you

      • Rhywun

        Last I read was about 40% i.e. in proportion to the state population.

        The pics? BFD. The crackdown, if there is to be one, doesn’t start until tonight anyway.

        As for the number, we don’t know what role increased testing is playing.

      • westernsloper

        As for the number, we don’t know what role increased testing is playing.

        I think it is a huge role. People have been walking around with this for months and nobody knew. How rolling out testing has failed here is still a mystery to me.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Thanks, Stinky.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m not too familiar with NYC. Is Staten Island less crowded than the other boroughs or something?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        If serious:

        Haven’t been there, but isn’t it basically suburban / New Jersey?

      • Rhywun

        Outside the “downtown” area near the SI ferry, it is exactly like New Jersey.

      • Sean

        Eeeeewwwwww.

    • Not Adahn

      Something like the first 50 cases were traced to one person who bipped between Manhattan and Westchester..

    • Ted S.

      According to This map, about 13,800 cases are Westchester County and points south (ie, NYC and Long Island).

  16. grrizzly

    I’m cancelling FuboTV once I finish watching the recorded Lions-Hawks game. I will have no TV at all. I haven’t been watching anything but sports on it and now everything is cancelled.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s surprising…

    • Hyperion

      Down is up, up is down, right is left, good is evil and evil good, dogs and cats sleeping in the streets.

      I enjoyed reading this stuff in Revelations more than actually living it.

      I had the worst nightmare last night. I dreamed we were all quarantined … in Canada. Everyone from South America was in the USA and we all had to go to Canada and be quarantined there. Worst nightmare ever.

      • Tres Cool

        Unlimited poutine, and their beer isnt all bad. Just have to really, really, really, like hockey.

    • Suthenboy

      They have gun stores in Illinois? I thought they were all in Indiana.

  17. Hyperion

    My wife was sick with a bad cough for a couple of days. But she’s better now. Who knows what it was, but I think I have whatever it was now. She kept complaining of soreness in her chest. I woke up this morning with soreness in my chest and my breathing seems to be more shallow. I’m not coughing and have no other symptoms except sneezing, occasionally. But I think it’s allergies causing that. Maybe the allergies are also giving me the chest soreness. Although I don’t remember ever having that before. Mass hysteria, we’re all getting paranoid.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Heh, I had the same thing this week. Short of breath enough that I spent most of Thursday lying down because I was getting dizzy. No fever, but I did have some stomach pain.

      It ran thru the entire household. I got it from the kids.

      Who the hell knows? It didn’t feel like a typical cold that’s for sure.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, my wife didn’t have a fever either, just that cough and chest soreness. Weird.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Body temperature?

      • Hyperion

        Normal.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Could always consult with your doc telephonically, but I’d guess they’ll probably advise just self monitoring and don’t go out in public for a week or more.

      • Hyperion

        Well, I wasn’t going anywhere anyway, unless it’s for groceries.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Well I think it’s a foregone conclusion now. The kids are getting homeschooled next year. The economy is busted enough that I can’t justify the expense of private school and public school is right out.

    I didn’t really miss doing the homeschool stuff but that’s where we are now.

    • Hyperion

      Not sending our kids to public school may be our only hope left for the future. Otherwise, a new Dark Ages in imminent. I’m really not joking about that.

    • Mojeaux

      With XX going to trade school next year paid for by the district, I can’t do that with her. But if XY is working I could maybe swing that. I need to get him away from his friends.

  19. Chafed

    The article on Medium discussed yesterday has been memory holed. There is now a 410 error for the link. I suppose Medium is evaluating if it undercuts the “correct” narrative.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s still available at ZeroHedge.

    • Gender Traitor

      Someone mentioned during morning lynx that it was posted at ZeroHedge.

      • mikey

        RCP has a link to.

      • mikey

        It

        Went to the commnets to see what the objetions were. One guy linked to some prof on twitter that apparentlly “put a body slam” on the articcle.
        Went there and stopped reading when the prof called out the author for describing a distribtion as being a bell curve just like Murray The Racist.

      • Suthenboy

        And people fear a future dark Age? What about the one we are in now?

  20. Urthona

    Rand Paul has coronavirus. Lucky bastard.

  21. Hyperion

    Tapper off his meds again

    If we’re going to quarantine anyone, it should be this guy and Krugman. We’ll all be safer for sure.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Their approach seems to be to push and push and push until Trump snaps at them and then claim he’s off his rocker.

    • Urthona

      Actually the funny thing in all this is I didn’t know shit about Pence before and now I kinda like him. he’s a perfect contrast to Trump up there.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He is definitely more even keeled.

        But give the media some time.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        He and Woody Harrelson were casual friends in college.

      • Hyperion

        You’ve never lived in Indiana before for sure. He’s your typical midwest fundie. I knew 100 guys exactly like him. Not putting him down or anything, just saying.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He seems to be unflappable. It’s actually kind of impressive.

      • Hyperion

        I first read that as ‘unfappable’. Everyone here is terrible, that proves it.

      • commodious spittoon

        Are you up to the challenge?

      • Gustave Lytton

        He still reminds me of Robert Shaw in From Russia with Love.

    • Suthenboy

      I love the ‘You know Trump is guilty so I won’t waste your time with evidence’.

  22. AlmightyJB

    Ohio on lockdown until 4/6.

    • Tres Cool

      “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

    • Nephilium

      At a minimum, starting Tuesday at midnight.

    • Hyperion

      What exactly does that mean? You’re going to do without food for 2 weeks?

      • Tres Cool

        “DeWine said the order allows exceptions, such as going to the grocery store, going to a park, taking care of neighbors or family members, weddings and funerals.”

      • Hyperion

        So, exactly like before, except it shows he’s ‘doing something’?

      • Not an Economist

        No. Other than the exceptions, what little businesses that are still operating will probably have to close. I’m thinking restaurants.

      • Tres Cool

        3 fatalities in the State. 83 currently hospitalized. In a state of about 11.8M people.

        And he pulls the plug.

      • Hyperion

        SOMEBODY HAD TO DO SOMETHING!

      • PieInTheSky

        Honestly this is not that much of an argument. The whole point of doing doing something like this is to do it before lots of people get sick.

      • Tres Cool

        I understand. But when 85% of infections present as a “mild flu or cold” from what I read, its an over reaction.

      • Nephilium

        “Cushion the economic blow”

        FUCK YOU JON!

        Holy shit… go work at the grocery stores/Purell factory if this puts you out of work.

        I’m going to go fucking crazy over the next several weeks.

      • PieInTheSky

        do lots of exercise. Try to get to 100 pushups in under 2 minutes

      • Hyperion

        That would probably be pretty poor form if you could do it.

      • AlmightyJB

        The whole bunch of them should be in prison.

      • Tres Cool

        And when its re-election time, every single one of these authoritarian assholes are gonna campaign on what they did in the interest of public safety.

      • Hyperion

        Zillions would have died, but I did something!

      • AlmightyJB

        You can go to grocery store.

      • Hyperion

        So people are going to go stir crazy and the only thing they can do is go to the grocery store. That won’t cause more hoarding for sure.

        Spring has been cancelled folks.

    • PieInTheSky

      then again Ohio who cares?

      • AlmightyJB

        First they came for the Buckeyes.

      • PieInTheSky

        there was this YouTube channel asking comedians weird questions. One question was something like you get a billion dollars but you can never leave Ohio do you take it. Most did not.

      • Nephilium

        Most Europeans don’t even know where Ohio is.

      • PieInTheSky

        I do. It is around Cleveland.

      • Jarflax

        You silly Hungarians.

      • Nephilium

        Actually, it’s around Columbus.

        Cleveland’s on the coast.

        Cycling appears to be still allowed, I may have a relief valve if the weather warms up.

      • Hyperion

        It’s somewhere in that flyover. It’s full of mouth breathing rednecks who drive around in pickups with machine guns mounted on them.

      • PieInTheSky

        I though machine guns were illegal under the NFA

      • Jarflax

        They are legal, but all transfers require a special tax stamp and take 6 months to a year because of various red tape, and once you own one the red tape intensifies.

      • Hyperion

        “I though machine guns were illegal under the NFA”

        You clearly have not been edumencated on these weapons of war death machines.

        All guns that have a capacity of more than one round are machine guns which spray bullets of death all by themselves. Contrary to what the gun nut extremists say.

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t see why you don’t just get a volley gun like the founding fathers intended

      • Gustave Lytton

        closest is the Hughes Amendment to the 86 FOPA, which prohibited new registration of automatic firearms. Existing ones were grandfathered.

      • PieInTheSky

        well a good ww1 machine gun is probably still effective

      • Gustave Lytton

        Paging tejicano…

      • Nephilium

        And the Wolverines pointed and laughed.

    • Jarflax

      Fucking weaselfaced degenerate illiterate piece of crap Governor. All of my clients are screwed and that means I am too.

      • Tres Cool

        Don’t forget his horse-faced cunte of a daughter, following in Daddy’s footsteps.

        https://alicedewine.com/

      • PieInTheSky

        some wine ages into vinegar I suppose

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Man you really really don’t like her do you? Did she turn you down for prom back in the day or something?

      • Tres Cool

        I really don’t care for her governor daddy, and he was shit as AG. I also really dont care for ‘birthright appointments’ and family dynasties in politics. She may as well be a Bush or Clinton.

        Dayton had a run of McClins where at some point, at least a couple members of the family were mayor, city commissioner, or county commissioner for a couple decades. Also, crooked funeral directors.

      • Tres Cool

        Also, Im likely far too old for her to be prom-material. This site really needs only 1 OMWC.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ah, she’s a worse than average politico sack of shit. Got it.

  23. Fatty Bolger

    Sophie Turner: Fuck Your Freedom

    The pregnant Game of Thrones star seemingly referenced the Lost actress’s quotes about refusing to self isolate during an Instagram Live she hosted along with her husband Joe Jonas.

    Lilly drew fire worldwide last week for saying its “business as usual” for her family during the outbreak. “Some people value their lives over freedom, some people value freedom over their lives,” the Ant-Man actress wrote. “We all make our choices … where we are right now feels a lot too close to Marshall Law [sic] for my comfort already, all in the name of a respiratory flu.” Her comments were accompanied by a photo of a cup of tea.

    Without referring to Lilly by name, Turner declared the opposite take on Friday: “Stay inside. Don’t be f–king stupid. Even if you count your – ” [does air quotes] ‘freedom over … your health.’ I don’t give a f–k about your freedom. You could be infecting other people, other vulnerable people around you by doing this. So stay inside guys! It’s not cool, it’s not big, and it’s not clever… And that’s the tea.”

    • PieInTheSky

      Counterpoint: she is not even that hot and certainly her looks are above her brains

    • Suthenboy

      A lot of people think freedom means doing whatever you want. Freedom actually means being responsible for the choices you make. I value my freedom over my life, but being a moral person who is concerned about the welfare of others I am..well, have been…staying in as much as possible.

      She is a moron.

      • Not an Economist

        She and her husband have lots of money and a big place so plenty of space to laze about. She doesn’t have to worry about food, rent, or paying the bills.

        She can afford to be a moron.

      • Jarflax

        ^this. Don’t order businesses closed. Equally don’t be a jerk and decide you are not going to modify your behavior.

  24. AlmightyJB

    I’d like to see every closed business come out and say fuck DeWine, we are opening.

    • Jarflax
      • Gustave Lytton

        Lt Col in a fucking police department? These ass fucks really are trying to LARP a police state.

      • Tres Cool

        Well, its state patrol, so a bit more than a police department.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh, it looked like police department in the blacked out box.

      • Tres Cool

        I’m sure he’s a blast a parties, too.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only the ones Officer Dowright is crashing.

      • Jarflax

        No, he is Cincinnati Police.

      • Tres Cool

        Gotcha. I stopped at “Patrol” in his signature block, and didnt piece it together.

        This is why you lawyers are so damn smart.

      • Jarflax

        I’m so bright I cut myself, so sharp I outshine the sun.

      • Tres Cool

        A real fart smeller!

    • Hyperion

      We can just pretend their farmers and pay them not to sell stuff.

      • Hyperion

        they’re damnit!

      • Don Escaped Texas

        * rolls up prayer rug facing TedS, puts it in a safe place, sighs gratefully *

  25. Hyperion

    I’ve been couped up long enough. I’m starting my daily walks again tomorrow before I go crazy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve already walked a couple miles today. I needed to do something to get moving.

      • Hyperion

        I just do not feel as well if I don’t walk at least 5 miles a day.

  26. Suthenboy

    Louisiana’s commie governor giving a stay home order as I type this.
    It will be hard on most but for me it doesn’t change a thing.

    • AlmightyJB

      I have no problem staying home. I have a huge problem being told to stay home. Unfortunately, there’s no place to go. And, it’s gonna rain everyday for weeks.

      • Hyperion

        I remember one thing I hated about the midwest was there would be periods where it was just overcast for a month. I’ve never seen it do that here. Sometimes we will get a multi-day monsoon, but I’ve never seen it go a week or more without sunshine.

    • PieInTheSky

      you need to stay insides the house you know. Can’t be wandering about the property

    • Tres Cool

      …but up to 150 can shower at once!

      /ZING!

    • Hyperion

      “Germany will ban gatherings of more than two people”

      LOL. Sorry that you guys have a kid, but don’t worry, they will be safe in the camps until further notice.

      • Gustave Lytton

        How do you say “sloth sets you free” in German?

  27. Hyperion

    Moving out at 28!

    What a heartwarming story. Much woke, many brave.

    • Tres Cool

      Not to brag, but let’s see, I had my 18th birthday in basic training, married at 20, 1st house at 26…..

      • Hyperion

        I moved out the day I was 18. I had a short spell back when I was 23-24, a couple of months, I was broke and destitute. but after that I was never back in my parents house again. I was 24 when I bought my first home and had 2 kids.

  28. Hyperion

    18 MONTHS!

    Shut the fuck up you disingenuous hacks. There is no evidence this will last for 18 months, stop trying to freak people out. Half of our media should be hung in public from lampposts.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yeah, there’s no way. At some point the virus will stop spreading either because people have contracted it and gotten better or they got it and died, and that’s barring development of a vaccine or an effective treatment that takes less time.

    • Hyperion

      “German Chancellor Angela Merkel is in self-quarantine”

      Best thing to happen to the German people after they got rid of Hitler?

  29. PieInTheSky

    Disgraced opera singer Plácido Domingo tests positive for coronavirus
    Kate Feldman
    3 hrs ago
    IOC sets deadline on whether to postpone 2020 Olympics
    Cuomo’s coronavirus TV briefings may have Biden, Sanders worried

    Plácido Domingo, the legendary opera singer who has been accused of sexual harassment by more than 20 women, said Sunday that he has tested positive for coronavirus.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/music/celebrity/disgraced-opera-singer-pl%C3%A1cido-domingo-tests-positive-for-coronavirus/ar-BB11xDDv

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is he disgraced or is he “disgraced?”

  30. Hyperion

    Not our Friend

    Oh really? An authoritarian communist dictator is not our friend? When will the NYTs figure this out?

    • mrfamous

      I have to say, it’s been a real wakeup call for me that the Chinese Communist Party were not the benevolent statesmen we had been led to believe they were.