Saturday evening links of somnolence

by | Mar 28, 2020 | Daily Links | 595 comments

I mean, seriously, I have been so sedentary that I feel like I’ve been beat up. My  body is sore. At least the weather is nice, so I can get some exercise in the garden.

 

Chineee flu free links!(for the most part)

 

Adios, Tom. You were a good dude.

 

Yeah, yeah, drugs fell out of my ass, but this is too good not to keep it going for a bit longer.

 

Heh, heh, heh.

 

Turkey is a bad place to be if you’re a dissident.

 

Pissed off the wrong people.

 

Enough of that. It’s Saturday for gawds sake.

 

About The Author

Spudalicious

Spudalicious

Survey says I’m a Paleolibertarian bitches. That means I eat “L”ibertarians for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Soave tastes a little fruity. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound quite right…

595 Comments

  1. Private Chipperbot

    Trying to figure out ways to not drink every day during this shit show.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Failing.

      • Nephilium

        Drink all the alcohol in the house? Then you won’t have anything left to drink.

      • Sean

        I abstain until after 7:30 pm. Most days.

      • Tres Cool

        I feel like I exercise great self-restraint by waiting till 5.

      • Sean

        Oh after that, I dive into a deep glass of bourbon.

      • Swiss Servator

        *Looks down at 3 fingers of Buffalo Trace*

        Cheers!

      • DEG

        I make coffee occasionally for myself in the morning. I put booze in it. I don’t do it every day.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        India time?

      • MikeS

        Masochist

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Failing.
        #metoo

    • blackjack

      I usually only day drink on weekends and vacations. This has turned into a sorta both. Slowing down some, at least. Maybe 4-5 Stellas a day.

      • C. Anacreon

        A friend sent me this note about day drinking right now:

        I was just talking to client and she said her home is like Vegas…They are losing money hand over fist, cocktails at any time of the day are acceptable and no one knows what day it is.

      • Swiss Servator

        I believe that. Those folks are getting slammed by this house arrest stuff.

    • Naptown Bill

      Prior to the ‘rona and the newest household addition I was lifting three days a week and running at least two. Now I’m lucky if I can squeeze in a few reps while I’m not being yelled at by a four year old or trying to hose down a baby who’s ass should be banned by the Geneva Convention. But booze, bless it, is always there for me. Hell, at least I mopped and managed to take a shower today. AND, I’m wearing pants. Well, shorts, but still.

      Slainte!

      • Nephilium

        I’m hoping the weather changes soon, I’ve only managed one bike ride in the past couple of weeks.

  2. Tres Cool

    Bigmouth Billy Bass ruined that song for me forever.

    • Spudalicious

      “Don’t worry, be happy.”

      • Tres Cool

        The one’s Ive seen sang Take Me To The River.

      • Spudalicious

        Both exist. You’re harshing my mellow.

      • C. Anacreon

        I would have been all over Tina Weymouth back in the day. Especially when she saucied it up in Tom Tom Club.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’d forgotten about that, there was a period there in the 90s where you couldn’t watch late night cable without being pummeled with ads for that damn thing.

    • The Hyperbole

      That’s no way to talk about David Byrne, most people ruin song they cover.

      • Don escaped Oklahoma

        Memphis is a cover town: everyone sings the same songs and always has. For example, Call Me has an interesting cover of I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry, but I don’t like Al’s Funny How Time Slips Away (probably because I just want to hear Willie sing it).

        Without reviving the cover debate, I will say Led Zeppelin’s covering When the Levee Breaks strikes me as respectful, and it certainly opened up millions of people to thinking about a certain time and place who would not done so otherwise.

  3. Fatty Bolger

    A relative in Florida tells me the governor has closed the border to New Yorkers fleeing the plague, and that they’re turning them back at the border if they try to drive into the state. No idea if it’s true or not. I wouldn’t think so, but we’re living in stupid times, so who knows.

    • kbolino

      There’s a lot of states between Florida and New York. And a lot of roads leading into Florida.

  4. Nephilium

    Sorry to go OT so soon, but question for the hivemind. I’ve got a friend who’s had a rough past year (including a suicide attempt). Usually she responds back to texts/calls/e-mails on a regular basis. Last I’ve heard from her was the 17th (she usually does a big party for St. Patrick’s day, this year there were only a couple of people there). Should I let it go, stop by her place, or something else?

    • Tres Cool

      Does she have family or other friends, and have they had the same issue of ‘incommunicado’ ?

      • Nephilium

        Her parents cut her off, I don’t have her sister’s number, and the only friend I’ve got contact info for is an ex-girlfriend.

    • Mojeaux

      Drop by with some chicken soup. “Oh, thought you might be sick, so I brought you some (((penicillin))).”

    • Drake

      Yes – go check.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Stop by if she won’t respond to attempts to get in touch, I’d imagine the current circumstances aren’t very good for depressives. Only do that if y’all are pretty tight though.

      • Nephilium

        That’s where my concern is. She also works in therapy, dealing with a large number of high risk people. Hence me trying to stay away to avoid exposing her (especially since I traveled recently).

      • Pine_Tree

        If you go and are pretty deliberate (but casual) about staying a few yards back, and having only a short visit, I think that both reinforces the “just wanted to check” message, and also communicates that you understand and respect her risk/concern level.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Even though it might seem silly you could wear a mask and gloves if you’re concerned about the risk of transmission in either direction. If you combine those with keeping your distance and no hugging or anything the risk should be pretty low, maybe don’t go inside her place too if you want to carry it to an extreme.

    • Pine_Tree

      Yeah, stop by. “I just wanted to check on you.”

    • Chafed

      I would check on her.

    • Tundra

      Get your ass over there.

    • DEG

      Yeah, check up on her. Best wishes.

    • Spudalicious

      Can you call, and then follow up in person if you feel you need to?

    • Nephilium

      Thanks all. I was worried I was being over concerned. I’ll reach out again tonight, and swing by her place with some sourdough waffles tomorrow.

      Appreciate the feedback.

      • Tres Cool

        Call t̵h̵e̵ ̵c̵o̵p̵s̵ ̵f̵o̵r̵ ̵a̵ ̵w̵e̵l̵f̵a̵r̵e̵ ̵c̵h̵e̵c̵k̵ anyone that knows her.

      • AlmightyJB

        I hope she’s ok

    • Swiss Servator

      Please check, if you can.

      • Nephilium

        I’m currently planning to go there tomorrow. If she gets upset with me, I’ve got several excuses at least (all of which will be baked goods, and me being a terrible man).

      • Chafed

        ?

      • MikeS

        Excellent. Good man.

      • DEG

        Seconded.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      But…but…there’s no control group, therefore the effectiveness isn’t proven.

    • Chafed

      Let’s hope this gets some attention.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If this doesn’t the New York study certainly will and they should get a good assessment of the effectiveness or lack thereof very soon.

      • Chafed

        I was unaware one was being done in NY. Do you know when results will be announced?

      • Drake

        It started last week, Tuesday I believe. They should have some results end if next week.

      • C. Anacreon

        The intensivist you may may have seen interviewed on tv saying the hospital scene in NY is a living hell was interviewed on Tucker Carlson last night, and he mentioned he feels safe working with covid patients because he is taking hydrochloroquine prophylactically. Meanwhile, the Dem Governor of Michigan is threatening to take any doc’s license who prescribes it, merely because Trump said something good about the drug. TDS is a far more debilitating disease than even the virus.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Woohoo!

      *pours nice tall glass of aquarium cleaner*

  5. blackjack

    You know what you do if someone can’t breath because of coronavirus?

    You have to perform the Heineken maneuver.

    Thank you…I’ll be here all quarantine. Don’t forget to tip your respiratory medicine expert.

    • Hyperion

      “You have to perform the Heineken maneuver.”

      But the local deli was out of Heineken yesterday. Does that mean I won’t make it?

      • MikeS

        It means you’ll be forced to drink good beer.

  6. Gustave Lytton

    Amazon is offering $3 credits for no rush shipping. I see a number of single item orders in my future.

    • Mojeaux

      I had to order some casters for one of my office chairs. I thought about it but I need the chair working more than I need $3 in ebooks or music.

      Wait, did I just say that?

      • UnCivilServant

        Good castors are important.

        I say this as a guy sitting in a chair where I’ve replaced the castors, legs, piston, upholstery, padding, and possibly the piston mount.

      • Tres Cool

        Castor beans are how you make ricin. You’re all confirmed terrorists.

      • UnCivilServant

        We’re all on the same lists anyway.

      • Sean

        OMWC gets on an extra one or two…

      • Hyperion

        The plant is very pretty. Castor oil, when I was a kid, was punishment for playing sick to stay home from school. Here’s to ridiculing idiot millennials who think this is not true.

      • Fourscore

        “Good castors”

        Castors are French beaver so I assumed you were hunting more than just coyotes. French beaver are good too but you probably already know that.

      • Chafed

        Who are you and what have you done with Mo?

      • Mojeaux

        Mo got dizzy and fell and hit her head.

        Not yet.

        I am back on an anti-anxiety drug, though, so I may be less irritable than usual once it gets its teeth into me.

      • Mojeaux

        *grooves out to Metal Dildo*

        No, actually. I have ONE SCENE to fix and I…can’t for the life of me figure out how.

        That said, my stress is through the roof and it’s low priority at the moment.

      • MikeS

        Add more cod and cunte.

        You’re welcome. A quick hat-tip in the forward is all I ask.

      • DEG

        *grooves out to Metal Dildo*

        These euphemisms.

  7. Chipping Pioneer

    You know who else ordered house to house searches for people fleeing certain death?

    • Francisco d'Anconia

      Boston?

      • Grumbletarian

        TOO SOON, INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!

        (P.S.: Boston Strong herpaderp!)

    • Not Adahn

      Herod?

    • Mojeaux

      They coulda just painted their jambs with lamb’s blood.

  8. DEG

    His opponents quickly condemned the action, saying that he is bypassing federal gun laws, including those providing for background checks of gun buyers. Foes are also concerned about the proliferation of 3-D-printed guns, which don’t have serial numbers, making it difficult for law-enforcement officers to track them should they be involved in a crime.

    His opponents can go fuck themselves.

    The comments are surprisingly not stupid.

    Regan called it the “the coronavirus impeachment scam” while accusing Democrats of exaggerating the threat of the pandemic in order to damage Trump.

    Hmm… I don’t think she’s off by much.

    I got take-out at same brewpub I got take-out last night. They’re only open two days for take-out. Things went much smoother this time. One of the staff that they worked out a system last night which seems to be working. One of the managers hinted that they might do it again next weekend. If so, I’ll be there. I got a Greek lamb salad which was delicious. Two 16 oz cans of beer: A barrel aged Scotch ale which I’m enjoying now and a stout which I might save for another day.

    • Ambassador Tripacer, A.S. A&P

      Our brewery is doing $6 growler fills for the duration. I also heard today that they’re going to have sale to sell off the kegs next Saturday. Time to get the kegerator cleaned up.

      • DEG

        That’s not bad.

      • Nephilium

        Local tap house has $5/domestic $15/craft growler fills. They’re also one of the few doing refills of growlers (against the county health board recommendation).

      • Ambassador Tripacer, A.S. A&P

        Refills? Is there such a thing as a single-use growler?

      • DEG

        Yes, if the government-who-knows-best says so.

      • Nephilium

        Well, they’re generally called crowlers, and are 32 oz. cans. But yeah, the county has requested that breweries not refill growlers, and only sell new ones. Of all the things I need, more growlers are not among them.

      • Ambassador Tripacer, A.S. A&P

        Same here. I’m not sure I’ve ever refilled a growler at the same brewery I got it from.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve got several that I’ve refilled at the same place (hell, I’ve got three from Fat Heads). But needing to purchase a new jug for every fill just rubs me the wrong way. Especially since I keep my growlers with sanitizer in them.

      • DEG

        I have seen some places that on their own would only fill their own. Tired Hands in Ardmore, PA used to be one of those places. I have no idea if they still are.

        Usually when I see places only filling their own growlers, the reason is regulatory.

      • Nephilium

        DEG: Nationally, the only regulation is that the growler needs the Surgeon General warning printed on it somewhere. State by state, the rules change. The most restrictive I’ve ever found were in CA. If you have a brewery name on the growler, it can only be filled by that brewery. If they put a beer name on it, it can only be filled with that specific beer.

        At least here, we can bring a random growler to a location (when we’re not under quarantine) and get it filled. And there are scofflaws filling growlers full of Lager for $5.

      • Ambassador Tripacer, A.S. A&P

        I was talking to the bartender at Maritime Pacific Brewing in Seattle back in 2005. He told me they would fill anything that was clean, had a secure lid, and had the fluid capacity marked on it. So of course I had him fill a Mountain Dew bottle for me.

      • DEG

        I have a vague memory that NC had some California-like regulations. I remember several places that refused to fill growlers unless they were their own.

      • Nephilium

        DEG: Not familiar with NC laws, but establishments can (and should be able to) make their own rules about what they’ll fill.

        I’m still annoyed by the one place that asked me if I knew what my 64 oz. vacuum growler weighed empty. Especially since they had it before they put their pilsner into it (and charged me $20 for that fill).

      • DEG

        but establishments can (and should be able to) make their own rules about what they’ll fill.

        I agree.

        I’m still annoyed by the one place that asked me if I knew what my 64 oz. vacuum growler weighed empty. Especially since they had it before they put their pilsner into it (and charged me $20 for that fill).

        WTF?

        I think I need another drink.

      • Nephilium

        DEG:

        There’s a reason I haven’t been back to that place, nor have I recommended it to people. One that I would recommend in the area is out of crowlers, and is now doing fills in 32 oz. Mason jars. I really didn’t need more of those in my house, so I left them off my run today.

        When I do the health check on my friend tomorrow, I’ll probably stop there.

    • Rhywun

      an online firestorm over commentary calling the coronavirus pandemic a scam

      That isn’t what she said. Never change, The Blaze.

  9. Tundra

    I love you, Spud, but I hate the Talking Heads.

    I know how influential, visionary, blah, blah , blah…

    Sorry.

    Can I make it up to you with a little Whiskey River?

    Or maybe we could just have a whiskey Down By the Riverside?

    Thanks for being the go-to dude!

    • DEG

      I like that Kinks song.

      • DEG

        Whenever I listen to the lyrics of that song, I’m reminded of Marc Antony’s monologue in Julius Caesar where he mock Brutus.

        Let’s switch gears to my favorite version of “Whiskey in the Jar”.

      • Nephilium

        Unfortunately, I can’t find a linkable version of my favorite local singer doing Whiskey in the Jar, so instead I present Alice.

        This song got him a ticket back in the day.

      • DEG

        I like that song.

        That band that performs at some of Brauhaus Schmitz’s festivals does a fun version of it.

      • Nephilium

        There’s a good chance that I’m in the background of one of Mossy’s early live albums. I know I’m on the live version of Johnny Socko’s live albums.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        An interesting video on the real speech and Caesar’s funeral:

        https://youtu.be/2-PYwEsTll0

        TLDW, the plebs were pissed.

      • BakedPenguin

        There’s a red under my bed…

      • Tundra

        Love that song.

        Love.

      • westernsloper

        One of my fav Kink’s songs

      • blackjack

        You’re not going crazy.

      • BakedPenguin

        I was hoping for a quorum, but this is still cool. I remember blaring that song from a radio/cassette player as a kid. /grandpa

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey hey, my favorite Kinks song.

    • Spudalicious

      Willie, yes. Kinks, no.

      • The Hyperbole

        KDS is an ugly look spud, I can forgive the cream in carbonara contingency and even the fake libertarian Republicans around here but this anti Kinks bias is a bridge to far.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Davies should be buried in Westminster Abbey when he goes. Best lyricist ever…

      • Jarflax

        We are all fake libertarians! Hihn isn’t here.

      • MikeS

        Why would you make me agree with The Hyperbole? I can’t even right now.

    • westernsloper

      Every party in my ski bum days started with a T-Heads album so I have a soft spot in my heart a la lost youth. I have no idea what was playing at the end of the parties. And come on you have to like this.

      • blackjack

        Talking heads is on my “don’t like ’em” list. However, they cleared up the mystery about what’s at the bottom of the ocean, so there’s that.

      • Rhywun

        Agreed. I never got into them either.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, that is a good one. I honestly don’t listen to them much. Extreme overload in the mid 80’s.

      • Not Adahn

        I like them quite a lot.

        Then again, I seem to like male singers with terrible voices (Leonard Cohen, Perry Farrell, Geddy Lee etc.), so there’s that.

      • Rhywun

        I seem to like male singers with terrible voices

        Heh me too

    • Drake

      That “Stop Making Sense” album got played loud and often in my dorm.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Someone’s trying to copy CPRM’s gig.

  10. Rebel Scum

    My nose ran and I sneezed/coughed occasionally after cutting the grass today. Clearly, I caught the Corona.

    • Sean

      *Throws a lime at RS*

      • Nephilium

        /tosses a can of tonic water at Rebel Scum

      • blackjack

        /Tries the Heineken maneuver.

      • TARDIS

        Go on.

  11. westernsloper

    Regan called it the “the coronavirus impeachment scam” while accusing Democrats of exaggerating the threat of the pandemic in order to damage Trump.

    Well, I am honestly not sure she is wrong.

  12. Rebel Scum

    “Yesterday I announced and today I reiterated: Anyone coming to Rhode Island in any way from New York must be quarantined,” the governor said. “By order. Will be enforced. Enforceable by law.”

    Interesting idea. But RI and CT should also be quarantined from the rest of the country along with NY and CA.

    • blackjack

      Dammit, I’m extremely tempted to drive to Walla Walla and buy a bike for sale there. Free time burning a whole in my calendar. Probably three days total trip from here.

    • Rhywun

      I would tell her to test me or get the fuck out of my way. This is still fucking America, goddammit.

    • DEG

      #1 has crazy eyes.

    • Rebel Scum

      There’s something about 4. Also, 10.

      • DEG

        I thought #8 was Angela White, then I looked a bit closer and noticed the instagram link at the bottom of the picture. I felt like I was being baited and switched.

  13. Raven Nation

    I just watched that Trish Regan clip. Didn’t seem to be anything very offensive. But, lord, it was painful watching. Just not very good. Reminds me why I don’t watch cable news anymore.

      • Grosspatzer

        LOL. If/when my offspring have offspring, Grandpa will be singing this to them.

      • Mojeaux

        I have not met you.

        FUCK OFF TULPA!

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Great lyrics, Mo.

    • westernsloper

      Nice knowin’ ya.

      • Derpetologist

        I was in the marching band in high school. We played at the football games. I got in trouble for playing this after the opposing team scored a touchdown late in the game, even though the band director gave us the sheet music for it.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-9wXQpzESo

        My parents were in the stands looking for me; they weren’t sure if I was there. As soon as they heard that music, they said yep, he’s definitely here.

  14. Rebel Scum

    “The hate is boiling over, many in the liberal media using, and I mean using, coronavirus in an attempt to demonize and destroy the president,” she said in her commentary.

    Regan called it the “the coronavirus impeachment scam” while accusing Democrats of exaggerating the threat of the pandemic in order to damage Trump.

    I don’t see the problem. Also, would.

    • Drake

      Was it a gunfight for the last roll of to?

  15. Rebel Scum

    Chris Hayes
    @chrislhayes
    Mar 26

    This is monstrous and people will die.

    Quote Tweet

    Kaitlan Collins
    @kaitlancollins
    Mar 26

    Trump: “I don’t believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators. You know, you go into major hospitals sometimes and they’ll have two ventilators. Now all of a sudden they’re saying, ‘Can we order 30,000 ventilators?'”

    I am quite sure there is no more context to this quote.

    • Derpetologist

      MSNBC – Make Sure Nobody Blames China

      I’ll be here all week.Try the waitress and tip the veal!

      [hacking cough]

      • TARDIS

        Well, since nobody else did; two thumbs up.

    • Rhywun

      I would hazard a guess that some areas need more and some don’t. I will also guess that nobody’s gonna hand over any of their surplus.

    • Naptown Bill

      My wife assures me that since Twitter is a window into the human soul, and is the most credible source next to God. Context is just a Trumptard talking point!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Twitter is the sludge at the bottom of the cesspit.

      • Nephilium

        So… the window into the human soul?

      • MikeS

        The bowels of the human soul.

  16. UnCivilServant

    I hate previous me.

    When I created the color template for gravis-armored primaris marines, I painted the individual fingers of the power glove a different color from the rest of the armor. It looks good, but now I have to do the same on all the other guys.

    • Sean

      You officially have a new fan. GF finished reading Shadowboy and added the next three to her Amazon wishlist.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m glad she enjoyed the book.

    • UnCivilServant

      Now I hate current me. I decided to paint the promethium hises on the flamers… with a method requiring two coats. They’re awkward enough to paint with one…

      • UnCivilServant

        Well I got that done, but now the cables running parallel to the hoses look unpainted… Gaah! My own starndards compel me.

    • Don escaped Oklahoma

      I worked on their rust-converting primer for years: huge mess and a dedicated tank because we couldn’t afford to clean it. Part of me just wanted to be out of the plant on the day each month that was scheduled.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Swine flu has made a comeback.

    More than a fifth of Detroit’s police force is quarantined; two officers have died from coronavirus and at least 39 have tested positive, including the chief of police.

    For the 2,200-person department, that has meant officers working doubles and swapping between units to fill patrols. And everyone has their temperature checked before they start work.

    An increasing number of police departments around the country are watching their ranks get sick as the number of coronavirus cases explodes across the U.S. The growing tally raises questions about how laws can and should be enforced during , and about how departments will hold up as the virus spreads among those whose work puts them at increased risk of infection.

    “I don’t think it’s too far to say that officers are scared out there,” said Sgt. Manny Ramirez, president of Fort Worth Police Officers Association.

  18. Semi-Spartan Dad

    This time last year, I was unconscious on a ventilator with a single digit survival chance. I went through multi-system organ failure, a code blue where my heart was stopped twice, and 1 month in the hospital with some bizarre hallucinations (a memorable one was where I was on a spaceship gameboard and forgot how to advance time… spoiler alert: time advanced anyway). The Sopranos episode where Tony gets septic shock is an eerie reenactment.

    It was easier to wall myself off from the world, so I didn’t comment, but did read Glibs daily while recovering. It helped take my mind off of what was going on, even if just for a little while. I really appreciate that and this community. Bablylon Bee is funny but doesn’t come close to the humor here. I’m back on my feet today, pretty much fine, except for a giant scar covering my entire abdomen.

    I spent today eating prime new york strips (yes multiple), steadily drinking assorted top shelf bourbon since noon, and spending time with my wife and children. It’s been a great day. I’d like to share in a celebratory drink with you all, but this post will have to do instead. *raises glass*

    • Sean

      ?

    • Ted S.

      I’m back on my feet today, pretty much fine, except for a giant scar covering my entire abdomen.

      Hawt.

    • DEG

      I am happy you made it through your health trouble.

      I will get another beer and raise a glass to you.

      • DEG
    • Rhywun

      *Prosit!*

    • Private Chipperbot

      Cheers, sir! To your health!

    • Nephilium

      If ever we meet, the first several rounds will be on me.

      /slainte

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks Neph. I’ve been jumping on the links late, but I’d be down for the Zoom games if you end up setting this up. Thanks for offering to get something like this going.

    • westernsloper

      To your health! ?

    • KSuellington

      Damn, glad you made it through that and are here with us still. Cheers (checks clock and it is 5 o’clock!)

    • Mojeaux

      Oh my goodness! It’s awesome you’re back on your feet again, spearing cow as it runs by. *toasts with bottled water*

    • Tres Cool

      See “talls cans” link down-thread

      Happy to have you aboard!

    • Tundra

      Salut!

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Thanks everyone, cheers!

    • Fourscore

      I remember, SSD, and you told us some scary tales a year ago. Happy that all is well. Don’t you also have a new(er) little one as well? We need all the Glibs we can get.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks Fourscore. That’s right, I have a 13 month old and a grand SSD finale due at the end of April. I’ve got a special bond with the 13 month since he was only 6 weeks at the time this all went down.

    • MikeS

      I’m glad you are feeling better.

      As soon as I hit “post” I will be pouring a glass of rye and saluting towards Michigan. (right? Am I remembering your locale correctly?)

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Thanks Mike. It’s VA, but I think we’ll be moving in a few years as VA inevitably moves closer towards being the New Jersey of the south.

      • MikeS

        Ah dang. Well, my poor memory along with my lack of a Glibs info database let me down. 😉 I’m pulling for you to be able to get out of VA.

        Also, from here, saluting towards MI is nearly the same as saluting towards VA, so; PROST!

    • commodious spittoon

      I’m back on my feet today, pretty much fine, except for a giant scar covering my entire abdomen.

      I hear chicks dig that.

    • Gender Traitor

      L’chaim!!!

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      My wife does, at least, and L’chaim!

    • Seguin

      Good to hear. Welcome back.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Oklahoma woman.

    A woman was shot and killed at a Tulsa, Oklahoma shopping center Friday night after she opened fire on customers. While police are still investigating a possible motive and haven’t released the woman’s identify, the Tulsa World reports that the woman’s rampage was apparently stopped by a concealed carry holder before she was able to inflict any injuries.

    “Video reportedly showed the woman was involved in an earlier altercation in the parking lot. The woman left the shopping center and returned about three minutes later, when she pulled a gun and opened fire, according to the news release.”

    The concealed carry permit holder reportedly returned fire and was later questioned and released at the department’s detective division.

    Who knows how bad this could have been had an armed citizen not been around to stop the shooter before she actually hit anyone? Sadly, because she didn’t actually kill or injure anyone, this story isn’t of nearly as much interest to the media as it would be otherwise, and this story will get virtually no national news coverage because there wasn’t enough carnage inflicted. The media would much rather talk about lives lost than lives saved.

    • Naptown Bill

      “Local Woman Shot to Death in Tulsa Shopping Center by Armed Gunman”

      Shooter may have used AR-15, experts say

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      +1 Matt Berry

  20. Rebel Scum

    Mendacious or stupid?

    A run to the drugstore for a prescription is still allowed, for obvious reasons. So is going the grocery store to stock up on food.

    But how about a quick trip to the nearest gun shop for a new .38 and some ammo? Should that be allowed when we’re all being told to stay home?

    Well, according to gun advocates — including, naturally, the National Rifle Association — it should be. They are pushing for shutdown order exemptions for gun shops, arguing that they provide an essential service during a pandemic.

    That’s ludicrous. Unless you plan on shooting those little coronaviruses one by one, no, gun shops are not providing an essential service during a pandemic. They are profiting from the marketing of fear _ get armed now before the desperate hordes invade your neighborhood in search of toilet paper! …

    The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in the 2008 District of Columbia vs. Heller case that the Second Amendment protects the right of an individual to own a firearm in the home for self-protection. It was an atrocious decision that ran contrary to decades of jurisprudence, but as long as that’s the current standard, we’re stuck with it.

    • Ted S.

      Why not both?

      • LCDR_Fish

        Not like they’d have any ammo in stock at this time.

    • Rhywun

      They are profiting from the marketing of fear

      Oh, that’s rich.

    • Tres Cool

      “It was an atrocious decision that ran contrary to decades of jurisprudence…”

      Citation needed.

      • Raven Nation

        “that ran contrary to decades of jurisprudence”

        You know what else ran contrary to decades of jurisprudence?

        Brown vs. Board

        Roe vs. Wade

        Miranda vs. Arizona

      • Tres Cool

        I doubt the author realizes those, tho’.

      • leon

        What is atrocious is the idea that a person has no right to self defense.

    • Suthenboy

      “…an atrocious decision that ran contrary to decades of jurisprudence, ”
      Ahhhh. No. It was that jurisprudence that was atrocious and also illegal. In other words crimes committed by the state.

      The founders, all of them, were very clear that the Second Amendment protects the right of an individual to own and bear a firearm. That is what the amendment said and what all of the founders repeated over and over in subsequent writings.

      Fucking gun grabbers are such lying shitweasels.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Forget it, Suthen–he’s an L.A. journo.

    • Rebel Scum

      I wonder what the lives of dogs were in ancient Chi – uh, never mind.

  21. Hyperion

    So what are ya’ll empty nest married peeps making under 150K going to do with your $2400, buy a roll of TP?

    • Ted S.

      I’m not married and don’t have kids, so don’t know how much I’m getting.

      • Hyperion

        If you make under 75K, then $1200. Hope that gets you a whole role of TP in your area.

      • Ted S.

        We’ve got about 20 rolls in the house right now.

      • Hyperion

        Well, if you can hold out for 3 months, you can buy a 3 million dollar estate after selling those.

      • Tulip

        Hah! Piker, I have 36 double rolls. Premium Cottonelle.

      • Hyperion

        We only have about 6 double rolls for 2 people.

        Since my wife will only buy 2 or 3 brands, no matter what, the likelihood of us running out in the new future is above 100%.

        Since the most likely cause of death in the first world has now changed from heart disease, diabetes, and cancer to lack of TP, it was nice knowing you all.

      • Ted S.

        You buy the toilet paper and put it on the holder without her seeing what brand it is.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Abortion > cancer
        Abortion > diabetes

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        60 rolls, bitches. The big fat Costco ones.
        (What?!? We stocked up a week before the panic hit, as part of our semi-annual massive shopping spree for necessities at Costco . . . )

      • Grosspatzer

        Lightweights. 76 rolls of Scotts in storage (spousal unit buys 20 every time they’re on sale), plus about 10 more in the bathrooms. Also ~100 cans of Progresso soup (ShopRite can-can sale FTW) purchased by yours truly to avoid spending $20/day on lunch in NYC. I should be able to retire a lot sooner now.

      • Swiss Servator

        *targets location on Glibs TPTB SuperGPS*

      • UnCivilServant

        But… it’s Scotts. That’s half a step up from the NYT.

      • Rhywun

        That’s what I use. I can’t stand the cottony crap like Charmin that falls apart.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve never had any issue with Charmin falling apart.

        Sounds like a dietary issue.

    • Rebel Scum

      Continue my budget gun collection? And use the rest for a house project. Or get the compact version instead, or both the compact and full size. I haven’t decided.

    • Not Another Naked Digby

      The PSA Dagger 9mm, if they’ll release the damn thing; that’s what.

  22. Ted S.

    Dad and I had the local news on at dinner, and one of the pieces was blatant propaganda younger people to panic over coronavirus, on the grounds that it could happen to you.

    Barf.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Yep. You’ll notice no one is reporting ages of deaths anymore. 0-19 is still zero last time I checked.

      • Hyperion

        If you’re under 75, you’re probably going to live through this. Doesn’t mean you won’t be reduced to poverty. We should feed Pooh Bear slowly into a woodchipper at any cost.

      • Tres Cool

        While I dont agree, there is a “mens rea” aspect to it. Did Pooh do it deliberately? Did some dumbfuck get infected at that lab, walk down the street and cough on a bat in the wet market? Or do dumbfucks eating bat soup cause the whole thing? Nobody really knows, or are gonna find out.

        So….yeah, chunk him in a chipper.

      • Tres Cool

        Meanwhile…..TALL CANS!

  23. Tulip

    They’ve closed the county parks. I’m now having a martini.

    • Nephilium

      Wouldn’t it be a quarantini at this point?

      /hides his beer from his locals

      • Hyperion

        “quarantini ”

        I like that, I’m stealing it.

      • Tulip

        Yes, good name. Served with a side of despair.

      • Tres Cool

        How dirty ?

      • Nephilium

        Not original, but stolen from many online articles.

        I prefer it with a side of homemade sourdough bread at this point.

        /refers to previous threads

    • Tulip

      First world problems. I wanted to take the dog to a different park and walk. Just whining, not a real problem.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Gluteus Maximus (ancient Rome’s greatest undercover agent): Gimme a martinus.
      Bartender: You mean martini?
      G.M.: If I want more than one, I’ll ask, smart guy.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Less dry humping than I imagined.

      • dbleagle

        Aggghhhhh! How to bleach that image out of my mind?

        If the boat owner harassed Crusty and Derpy of their boat they would be in violation of the Marine Mammals Act and subject to a Federal felony violation. A boat in the Monterey Harbor was sunk by a pod (covey? murder? pack?) of these video Crusty’s back in 2010.

    • westernsloper

      Very nice.

    • Mojeaux

      That is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Thanks. During the ‘Shopping, the earring (image right side) disappeared, so a silly amount of time was spent bringing it back as a “ghost-in-the-shadows” kinda detail, like you see in some of Rembrandt’s stuff. PS’ing an image can really be a labour of love sometimes . . .

      • Fourscore

        Art has no time limit. You done good.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Thanks, d00d!

    • mikey

      Lovely. Would you mind showing the starting image? I used to have a chemical dark room and now working in color with modern software is just wonderous magic to me.

      • Suthenboy

        I really miss working in my chemical darkroom.

      • wchipperdove

        Ditto. And what kind of filter(s) did you use?

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Several. Actually. I really might need to do a short article on this.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        I can certainly do that, but I’m almost thinking it would be better as a short article (there were a number of steps).

      • mikey

        Usually I’m pretty reactionay, but I miss the chemicals like I miss our old Royal typewriter.

  24. Derpetologist

    Behold our trustworthy mainstream media:

    Life In China Becoming More Recognizable After Coronavirus Breakout | TODAY
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-iEGgPKFBU

    [head desk]

    • Hyperion

      I just suggested we feed Pooh Bear to the woodchippers. USA media next in line.

  25. westernsloper

    Plague news from my neck of the woods: I actually worked part of today. On my way I stopped at the Wmart to grab lime juice for cocktail hours and grabbed a few more things while there. Numerous elderly folks with full on masks and latex gloves. In a hurry and looking scared. Enraged me more about the overreaction to this. I did my job and then took the hour drive to the big city. On the way I noticed in my small community area nobody is staying at home. People out going on hikes. The four wheeler and side by side crowd was out in full force. The dirt bike guys were tearing it up. On the highway the overhead terror signs said “avoid unnecessary travel.” In the big city the traffic was about 1/4 what it usually is on a Saturday. I was going to the big city to buy a router that Home Depot had in stock since the closer one did not carry it. There was a line at the entrance. They were limiting capacity and sterilizing shopping carts. As dude let me in I asked what their max occupancy was. 150 he told me. There were numerous social distancing signs throughout the store. Creeped me out so I got my router and beat it the hell out of there back to where people are acting normal. Now I am home and I have never been called normal.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Had to get a grout sponge today at the local Home Despot here in Edmonton. The province has banned more than 50 people inside a store at once, so guess what I did for ten or fifteen minutes at -10 Celsius?

  26. Mojeaux

    Well, in light of SSD’s confession, I’ll make one.

    Spoiler: I’M FINE!!!

    Monday, I thought I was having a heart attack. I was dizzy (dizzier than I have ever been), short of breath, weak, tired, left shoulder sore. Also, that dastardly family history; my aunt had her first CABGx2 when she was 48. So my husband bundled me off to the ER. Troponins were taken (amongst other things). NOTHING IS WRONG. So, now I have a hospital bill for being perfectly healthy.

    Except for the benign positional vertigo. It ain’t benign because at some point, I’m going to fall over and bust my head open. It started maybe 2 years ago, I think? Maybe longer than that. Now they are out of control and I’m popping meclizine like lime Skittles. Dr. Google tells me there is no real cure. There is only mitigation.

    There’s today’s whine.

    I’m not whining. I’m sighing in irritation and rolling my eyes a lot.

    • Ted S.

      It’s not coronavirus?

      • Mojeaux

        No. They were getting worse last year about the time I had my ulcer, which was one reason I got sent to the hospital. They’ve been getting worse over the last year, but Monday was the worst I’ve had.

    • Hyperion

      “Monday, I thought I was having a heart attack.”

      None of what you just said sounds like you were having a heart attack. Were you having chest pains?

      • Mojeaux

        None of what you just said sounds like you were having a heart attack

        Not for a man, no.

      • Hyperion

        OK. You’re telling me that heart attacks are caused by different reasons depending on if you’re a man or woman? And the symptoms are different?

      • Mojeaux

        Not caused by different REASONS.

        I’m saying it manifests differently in women, and sometimes wildly differently, even from woman to woman.

        There is no circumstance that a fifty-year-old fat woman is going to walk into an ER, say, I’m dizzy and short of breath, that she’s going to be allowed to sit there. They get your ass on an EKG machine IMMEDIATELY.

      • Hyperion

        Did they check your BP first?

      • Nephilium

        Heart attacks present differently for women. Or you know, those who were born with vaginas.

    • DEG

      I’m happy to hear you are fine.

      I had some vertigo problems a while back after an ear infection. I never had ear infections as a kid. Right around age 30 was my first and only ear infection. It took a few years to clear out. Hopefully yours clears out too.

      • DEG

        Fine as in no heart attack. Vertigo is not fine. I proofrad gud.

      • grrizzly

        I don’t recall having any ear infection as a kid either. After having a couple of unpleasant ear infections as an adult in the US, I started to use Q-tips less frequently.

    • Tulip

      Sorry Mojo. Is it a panic attack? You’re under a tremendous amount of stress.

      • Mojeaux

        No. I know when I’m having a panic attack. The shortness of breath is different.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        The shortness of breath is different


        holy shit

    • westernsloper

      Glad you weren’t having a heart attack. Not giving advice or criticizing, but you ever wonder if the other meds you are on might be causing this stuff? I tried to fix my brain through chemistry during a bout of depression after two divorces in three years. I finally decided the meds where fucking me up more and quite taking them. I just started getting up at four in the morning and working out with a run/walk mixed in the routine every other day and soon anxiety and depression left. That was in 2000. It has not came back yet. I am trying to get back to the workout but fail. Still get up at four though if I have not spent my night embarrassing myself here until the wee hours of the morning that is.

      • Hyperion

        Meds, almost all of them have side effects, to some degree or other.

        When I first was treated for high blood pressure, they put me on a medication that caused my BP to go to low and I had severe dizziness and disorientation from it.

      • westernsloper

        Oh the anxiety meds made me feel way weird. I said fuck this shit and started lifting in the morning. All I need is another bout of depression and I would get back to it but the tequila and lime staves off depression.

      • Mojeaux

        you ever wonder if the other meds you are on might be causing this stuff

        It’s occurred to me, yes, and sometimes I think maybe that’s the problem.

        OTOH, which is worse? Life without drugs but not dizzy, or life with the drugs, but dizzy?

        I’ll take dizzy, thanks.

      • Hyperion

        Check your BP. Low BP will most definitely cause dizziness. I know this from experience.

      • Mojeaux

        I happen to think that’s part of it, but when I go to the doc, it’s marginally high. Of course, the last time I posted my “through the roof” BP, Spud called me a piker.

      • Not Adahn

        Did that “no oral sex” diktat get overruled by a later president, or am I really lucky that Melanie wasn’t interested enough in me to convert me?

      • Mojeaux

        It took about 6 months of the membership screaming bloody murder and bishops saying, “Oh hell no I’m not doing that” before it got repealed.

        My mother was furious (she told me years later when I asked about it because I thought it was an urban legend).

      • Mojeaux

        The problem with that dude really was that fucking book he wrote when he was way lower on the totem pole. It was published in 1969, disseminated widely in all corners of the globe, multiple copies in bishops’ offices, handed out like candy, and only 5 years ago got taken out of print and half-assedly discredited.

        There are two schools of thought on the book that I have experienced: people who are decent people with no big stuff going on in their lives resent it or are afraid because of it or stressed out or whatever. People who are decent people but with serious sins in their pasts (my uncle and my husband, for starters) find comfort in it.

        Unfortunately, they were handed out to people who did such things as swipe a pen from the bank. That and cold-blooded murder were treated as roughly equivalent.

        Okay, I’mma stop because just thinking about that book pisses me off.

      • wchipperdove

        ??? What book?

      • Raven Nation

        Sex in Zion?

      • Nephilium

        I’ve been trying to get myself off the meds (high blood pressure and high cholesterol ones) for a while. My doctor and I have differences of opinion on several things. He thinks I shouldn’t have been able to ride 60+ miles on a bicycle… even after I did it.

        I should probably look for a new doctor.

      • DEG

        My previous doctor, who left the practice for reasons I don’t know, told me once, “You’re too heavy. You have too much muscle mass to be normal according to BMI. So concentrate on getting your bodyfat down. The muscle mass is good, don’t lose it.”

        My current doctor, actually a nurse practitioner, only said to me about my weight, “You’re trying to get your bodyfat down? Good!”

      • Nephilium

        I’ll admit I’m overweight (even still after dropping weight). But damn it, I’ve already done it. You shouldn’t say I wouldn’t have been able to do something that I’ve already done. I’ve been floating at ~23% body fat this week.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Damn, I’m glad you ended up being fine Mo. Don’t spend a second regretting that “hospital bill for being perfectly healthy”.

    • westernsloper

      What is with the shortage of supplies? Do hospitals keep like a weeks worth? The shit aint like fresh oysters. You can keep masks and gloves forever.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t get that either. There should be fucking warehouses of the stuff at all times.

      • UnCivilServant

        The material the gloves are made of does break down with age.

        Plus, like any other consumable supply, paying for more than you need is just going to make you go broke.

      • Rhywun

        The occasional pandemic is inevitable. Obviously nobody planned for this one. Gloves are not expensive – I think the cost of them breaking down over (years, decades?) can be figured into their calculations. *just spitballing, obviously*

      • MikeS

        Yeah, all it takes is a “first in, first out” stock rotation and it’ll work. If peppers and grocery stores can figure it out, so can hospitals.

      • UnCivilServant

        Depends, are we talking a priavtely owned an operated facility… or the VA/NHS?

      • MikeS

        I’ve read about, and agree with a theory about that; we’ve gotten so used to a Just-In-Time delivery system that there aren’t stockpiles of nearly anything anymore. Life in America (and most of the “Western” world) is so fucking luxurious that we all assume we can get anything we need in a couple days (if not couple minutes). Couple that with the fact that modern healthcare is so expensive and that unused inventory is money on the shelf, and here we are.

      • kinnath

        JIT happens.

      • MikeS

        LOL. It certainly does.

      • Drake

        JIT is how any consultant can “save” you a few $million in inventory costs. It’s great until your stuff doesn’t arrive just in time, then you’re screwed. I’ve done many a risk assessment / disaster readiness plan where this was pointed out and ignored.

      • Jarflax

        Statistical predictions are wonderful for saving money, until something unusual happens.

      • kinnath

        “Inventory is evil” — one of our previous CEOs used to tell us that constantly.

        I imagine that hospitals work like most businesses. You have enough space to hold enough stuff to get through until the next delivery. Distributors keep enough space to keep enough stuff to make deliveries to all the customers. A spike in demand from one customer is manageable. A run on inventory at all suppliers isn’t manageable. A run on inventory at all distributors is totally unmanageable.

      • Rhywun

        I imagine that hospitals work like most businesses.

        I do too, and I’m having a problem with that.

      • kinnath

        Hospitals are businesses. The alternative is too scary.

      • Rhywun

        OK, I’ll modify my statement with something like “they aren’t planning right”.

      • kinnath

        Can any business plan for something it has never seen before?

        With 20/20 hindsight, every part of the supply chain should have been ramping up once the news started flowing out of China at the start of the year. There has been a major failure to recognize the scope this pandemic has become.

        This is complicated by the fucking media and the fucking government spreading panic among the general population. Panic buying and hording is fucking up the supply chain for just about everything.

        There are many, many people that deserve blame here.

      • Drake

        Lots of businesses have been similarly screwed after 911 grounded flights, hurricanes and snowstorms interrupt deliveries. They just decided to accept that risk.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s a National Strategic Stockpile that has things like masks and other. They drew down the stockpile for H1N1 and never refilled it. That was when the stockpile was being ran by…. the CDC.

      • westernsloper

        Link?

      • westernsloper

        I found one Lots of Trumps fault, lots of Governors pissed. Why don’t states have their own stockpile?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Some/most do? They’re already emptying it here.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Lean and just in time have made inroads like everywhere else. Supply chain works until it doesn’t.

      • C. Anacreon

        And hospital leaders LOVE lean et al. If I ever have to do another fucking kaisen I might lose it.

      • Drake

        What if I call it a Kaban event instead?

  27. Tulip

    Had an asynchronous, virtual drink with my mom. She also had a martini. Next week we will each have an old fashioned and talk on the phone.

    • Tres Cool

      When you make a sidecar, Ill be impressed.

      • Tundra

        I”l wait for the ‘Strip and Go Naked’.

      • Private Chipperbot

        12 beers, 1 can concentrate, 1 fifth vodka. Fun times ?

      • Tundra

        Did kids in your world make the awesome Wapatui?

      • Private Chipperbot

        If wapatui is naked Catholic School girls, then yes.

        “This doesn’t taste like beer ..”

      • Tundra

        No, we had those, too.

        Wapatui.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh, you mean Trash Can Punch.

      • Fourscore

        If it was red color we called that stuff Artilllery Punch. Other colors were appropriately called by another service branch. I made Signal Corps Orange Drank

      • Nephilium

        Oi! I went to Catholic school, so did my sister.

      • Swiss Servator

        Fourscore – you should have seen the dreck they had to put together at my Ordnance Corps Dining In. Gah!

      • Ambassador Tripacer, A.S. A&P

        Ah memories of the one Saint Barbara’s Day ball I went to. The SGM and XO mixed it in a .50 ammo can and served it out of an arty shell casing of some sort. Every ingredient was provided a backstory. They made the newest LT be the first to try it.

      • C. Anacreon

        I wonder how it became ‘Strip and Go Naked’. Did one have to pay royalties for calling it the much more mellifluous “Sip and Strip”?

      • Tulip

        She’s not a fan of brandy. It’s usually a martini, whiskey sour, Manhattan, or an old fashioned.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Your mother is obviously a cultured woman.

      • Tulip

        She’s agreed to stay in my brother’s condo until at least Easter. She’s playing cards every Wednesday with some other elderly women. She said, we’re isolating, just socializing with the same four people and we’re all healthy. It sounds like a reasonable compromise to me.

      • Nephilium

        Me and my sister have been talking about our parents. My dad went to the American Legion one night, and my sister’s comment was, “Have you been there? It’s pretty much elder isolation.”

      • Nephilium

        Really, that’s all it takes?

        /hands Tulip a Satan’s Whiskers

      • Tulip

        Sugar freed the link

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      I . . . don’t think you’re quite there yet, mang . . .

    • Rebel Scum

      Abomination.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Ban this man.

    • Q Continuum

      Abomination.

    • Sean

      *racks AK*

      • Rebel Scum

        *slaps Sean and hands him an AR*

        That pineapple is bad enough. No commie guns. It’s Armalite America’s Rifle for you.

      • Jarflax

        Guns don’t have politics. Don’t discriminate against guns!

      • DEG

        Go for a Mosin, it is the most superior weapon of all time.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hey! There is a safey on a Mosin…

        It’s just next to impossible to operate, so no one bothers.

      • DEG

        I have used the safety on a Mosin.

        Oh. I am a bit of a nobody.

    • Tundra

      *bows respectfully*

      • Private Chipperbot

        /facing away. Pants down.

    • westernsloper

      Ha! Nice work!

      • C. Anacreon

        I laughed too. Very clever.

    • mikey

      And you always seemed like a cool guy.

    • MikeS

      I used to think you were a decent human being.

    • Nephilium

      I blame the isolation for this style of madness.

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, it’s not ON the pizza. In quite, it’s the exact opposite, so I’d say you’ve created the perfect Glib pizza!

      But you can have my slice. No, really…that’s OK.

    • Swiss Servator

      GOOD TO SEE YE AGAIN. How you holdin’ up these days?

    • DEG

      Fuck.

      • hayeksplosives

        Sweet Meteor of Death can’t come fast enough.

    • Rebel Scum

      Britney Spears is now a Marxist

      Marxism is toxic.

      I doubt Gal goes out for a meal without bringing along a very large man to keep fans at bay, so her personal borders likely begin at about a 3-foot radius around her.

      Socialism is for the people, not the socialist.

    • Jarflax

      You greedy plebes just aren’t satisfied living off the 5 star catered craft serives table, Gucci/Armani/Bulgari gift bags, and other free stuff you get every time you volunteer for something! You act like you won’t volunteer your time to serve society without getting paid! Why can’t you be more like your betters?

    • Tundra

      “Imagine no possessions…”

      No.

      Fuck you.

      • Ted S.

        I always imagine Yoko Ono in penury not having the copyrights to John’s songs.

      • juris imprudent

        Oh man, that is the happiest dream I’ve heard in a long time, and I know someone who will appreciate it even more.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        This is, of course, the correct answer.

      • KSuellington

        Ugh, ? . One of the worst set of lyrics of any popular song. They are so bad I would say they are evil .

      • Drake

        Imagine if I had your possessions.

        * racks slide on apocalypse rifle.

    • Rhywun

      I hope there’s a reckoning with the purveyors of this garbage.

      • Suthenboy

        There likely will be if we start having serious problems countrywide. People’s patients with the idiocy will run out.

      • Rhywun

        If anything, it should give an easy opening for norms to call them out on their bullshit. For a few months, anyway.

      • DEG

        I’m feeling especially cynical.

        There will be no reckoning. None of the folks behind this panic will pay any price.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And Gell Mann amnesia will set in for climate change.

    • Suthenboy

      It is just more social signaling from the Hollywood crowd. Remember, if you have to tell people you are smart you are not. If you have to tell people you are funny….
      Same goes for having to tell people you are a good person.

    • wchipperdove

      Listen, just turn Gal Gadot over to me, I know how to deal with her.

      • KSuellington

        From each according to her abilities…

  28. Not Adahn

    Dammit! I tried really hard to keep my lives separate online, but following a youtube link from here led to an ad from Millipore Sigma so I must have cross-contaminated.

    • Tundra

      Shit!

      And now you’re diabetic!!

      • westernsloper

        *Reads article, wipes spicy pork rind dust on shirt* Wut?

      • Not Adahn

        I uploaded a phone pic of it here a long time ago, but one of my favorite pieces of junk mail was a flyer with a picture of a syringe going into a cerebrum with the words “Brain injections missing the mark? Hit the spot every time with NEUROS brand syringes by Hamiltion.”

        That’s when I knew I was a for-real grown up scientist.

      • Jarflax

        That sounds like you have become a candidate for a role in Fallout New Vegas: Old World Blues

  29. Juvenile Bluster

    My mother just called me crying because she’s scared shitless about the virus, for herself and for my grandmother (mom is 64, grandma is 92). Trying to get her to calm down but it’s difficult.

    This is probably the worst pandemic in 50 years, and might end up being the worst since the 1918 flu. But the hype is pretty unbelievable.

    • westernsloper

      I am not buying the worst in 50 years and don’t think it will surpass H1N1 as far as hospitalizations or deaths and ya, as I said above, how this is being hyped and scaring the shit out of old people really pisses me off. My folks call me with concerns until I talk them down. I tell them if they need something I will go get it, or use grocery pickup, just lay low for awhile.

    • KSuellington

      I will be utterly and completely shocked if it comes anywhere close to 50 million deaths (which is a midrange estimate of the 1918 Spanish flu). I guess anything is possible, but if I were a betting man, and I am, I’d bet it will be on the higher side of a bad flu year with all of the measures of social dismantlement that have happened.

      • juris imprudent

        Let alone those 50m deaths as a percentage of world population in 1918.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I said the worst since, not worse than. 1957 flu killed ~80k in the US. We may end up higher than that.

      • KSuellington

        I’d be surprised if it matched 1957, even with our much higher population.

    • Fourscore

      Its bizarre, my kids are calling, emailing, scared to death.

      “I haven’t been outside for 13 days”

      They pretend like they’re worried for me and like I have done since I chased the boogie man out from under their bed 50 years ago I have to reassure them that the world will be here tomorrow, in pretty much the same shape it was in yesterday, that its only the politicians and grifters who are sounding the alarm.

      Follow the money.

    • Nephilium

      Sorry man. Girlfriend’s grandmother is over 90 (has had multiple strokes, and falls) and there’s been questions as to if she’ll make it to any gathering. Both of my parents are over 70, but are actually sticking to the social distancing thing according to my sister (who lives less then a mile away from their new house, and still hasn’t been visited by them).

    • Rhywun

      FWIW I’m in a more-or-less constant state of anxiety now. Until I start drinking at around 7pm every day and then it eases.

      Whee.

      • KSuellington

        My wife is pretty much there with you, and not because of the virus, but the reactions to it. I am not quite in a constant state of anxiety because I have been out and about working the past couple weeks, if I hadn’t been I would be absolutely stir crazy by now. I was working at a building a few days ago in which the manager is kind of a nutter on the best of days, but keeps it together mostly. He was in full blown panic the other day. I could hear him throwing shit around his apartment and screaming at himself. When I had finished the job and went back by his apartment he had thrown a bunch of shoes out into the middle of the hallway and was still babbling away to himself inside.

    • Drake

      Turn off the fucking news and take a walk. I have family way too wrapped up in this shit too. They keep sending texts.

  30. Juvenile Bluster

    Also, something tells me that when this does pass, the US is going to start looking like Asia with everyone wearing masks all the time.

  31. DEG

    I decided on something lighter

  32. Tulip

    I’m still trying to process, but just learned that my Dad’s cousin-in-law, died last fall. My mom said she had known but didn’t know until December.

    Ilsa was a German war bride. Her Husband (my Dad’s cousin) was part of the Berlin airlift. He met Ilsa, who was 16, smuggled her to England, and married her. I’ve seen pictures of Chuck then; Errol Flynn eat your heart out. Wow, was he handsome, and she was gorgeous. They stayed married until Chuck passed away about 6 years ago. He’s the one who’s mother died of the flu and he and his siblings lived with my Dad’s family until his father remarried. He joined the army during the great depression because they promised him two meals a day. He ended up making a career of the air force, then the NOOA. They used to visit our family and I loved them both.

    A cousin and I went to Chuck’s funeral. While we were there, Ilsa brought up her eventual funeral and we both promised we’d be there. I’m angry we weren’t told. I understand why her daughter didn’t tell us, but I really wanted to be there. My cousin is the one who told me and suggested we go when the virus carp is over to visit her grave (as well as additional relatives buried there) and go to the same German restaurant we went to for Chuck’s funeral. I said, “I’m in”.

    As I said, I get why she didn’t tell us, but I’m still angry.

    • Mojeaux

      I would be furious. But WHY didn’t she tell you? Or am I not paying attention?

      • Tulip

        She just couldn’t deal and thought her brother had done it. He didn’t.

      • Tulip

        He’s not at all reliable. But, I understand being overwhelmed and taking someone’s word even if you know they’re unreliable. So, I’m really pissed at him. Asshole.

    • DEG

      I’m sorry.

  33. wchipperdove

    Does it seem that one side of the main political spectrum seems a little too unconcerned about whether businesses stay closed? One lefty friend of mine on FB just posted a meme congratulating Trump on signing the biggest socialist package ever. She’s a Bernie supporter, and not terribly bright.

    I also noticed that people on the left tend to be more apt to comply with the whole quarantine thing. Maybe because they trust the govt. to give them the right advice?

    One more thing – I don’t know if everyone is getting this, but there are a LOT of memes going around about Kentucky’s governor Bashear (sp? – who cares) being some kind of strongman/Daddy (yes, he’s even referred to as Daddy in a few of them) whose authoritative commands are keeping people safe. Even over and above the usual TDS, this is really pissing me the fuck off.

    Sorry for this mini-rant. I miss going to restaurants and seeing my friends.

    • Mojeaux

      I also noticed that people on the left tend to be more apt to comply with the whole quarantine thing.

      They’re lazy and don’t want to work.

      • Tulip

        I’m lazy, don’t want to work, but I’m a libertarian. Of, I still work, and work hard because I want to pay bills and retire some day and I don’t trust politicians.

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        They are also lazy, in that they don’t want to think for themselves, with what could potentially be on the line. Let strongmen make the decisions, and, if the leaders get it wrong, well, it’s not my fault…

    • AlmightyJB

      People’s response to this thing just re-enforced my resolve to retire to the sticks.

      • KSuellington

        Absolutely. I’m in a city now because I built a biz here and almost all my extended family that doesn’t live in Ireland live within 20 minutes. This shitshow is gonna speed up the purchase of said land.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s why even this part of PA isn’t suiting me for retirement.

    • Not Adahn

      Ditto.

    • Fourscore

      Yesterday was our anniversary and we usually go out with friends for a restaurant meal. We had grand kids staying with us so it would have been a double special event.

      Just saw Navarro is going to head up the War Regime and force GM into making respirators. He’s gonna make them hit his production schedules, I betcha.

      • RAHeinlein

        GM and Ventec signed-up for that duty and were happy to take the kudos. Did I believe a company like GM could turn on that quickly – no f’ing way. Then shut-up and don’t write checks your body can’t cash.

    • Jarflax

      There are a lot of my Republican friends busily praising the stay home orders and spouting platitudes about saving lives. I have to say I was drifting back toward the constitutional republican side of the spectrum before this happened because I was getting tired of the libertarian motif of denouncing any incremental gain as not sufficiently pure. The Trump/Republican response to this disease is pushing me off to my own little corner of hating everyone.

      • Raven Nation

        “hating everyone”

        This is always a good default position (except for Glibs of course).

      • Swiss Servator

        Pffft. I hate everyone, me most of all!

        (Not really, but it sounded good when I first typed it out…)

      • Rebel Scum

        my own little corner of hating everyone

        I was “social distancing” before it was mandated cool.

      • RAHeinlein

        Exactly, Trump saying don’t panic (vilified), not requesting enough funding, and trying get the country open ASAP (vilified) outrages me to no end. No better than those damn liberals.

      • Jarflax

        Oh, wow you are so right. I mistook him and team R for the people bribing us all with $1200 while they hand out $2 Trillion in pork, and vilify Massie for the crime of trying to make them go on the record as voting for the $2 Trillion in loot. But I was mistaken, he has been wonderful in this crisis. I’v said before I am a lesser of two evils guy, but that gets strained when the lesser is as bad as this.

    • straffinrun

      I’m wearing a mask when I got out, washing my hands regulary (using sanitizer), staying away from my elderly in laws, staying inside when possible etc. Not because of what the government is demanding, but despite what it is demanding. Eventually, the tipping point will come where it will be worth more to disobey the government even if it means exposing others to the virus. When you don’t respect property rights, you will always have this kind of dilemma in a crisis.

  34. Not Adahn

    Some guntuber I’ve never heard of decided to get some atteniton/views by picking a fight with Paul Harrell. I’ll link to the very end of his response.

    https://youtu.be/GPw3oz9psnc?t=3832

    • kinnath

      I watched the whole video the day it was released.

      240K views in 2 days. Wow.

    • AlmightyJB

      Anyone talking trash about Harrell IS trash.

  35. Derpetologist

    anyone got any funny headline ideas?

    ISIS Sad That People More Scared of Virus

    China To Trap Virus With Special Trap

    Biden Picks Howard Dean as Running Mate

    AOC Denounces Violins on Television

    • westernsloper

      Heavy smoker coughs in grocery store and is killed by another shopper who threw a can of peas at his head

      • DEG

        Close enough I guess?

        On the Maine island of Vinalhaven, an armed group allegedly told individuals to quarantine Friday amid the global coronavirus pandemic and even cut down a tree to block the driveway to their property, according to the Knox County Sheriff’s Office.

        Around 3:35 p.m., an individual used a VHF radio system to contact the Coast Guard for help at the residence in the area of Cripple Creek Road, authorities said.

        “The individual reported that several people with guns had cut down a tree and were telling them that they need to stay quarantined,” the sheriff’s office said on Facebook.

      • westernsloper

        You can’t even satire the real world anymore. That is insane.

      • DEG

        I like that song.

        I like The Band.

    • Not Adahn

      I think my favorite is the fourth, even though it references a classic joke. The second is funny but requires some thought. Millennial don’t know who Howard Dean is. I don’t know if ISIS works with topical humor anymore, and in any case they were in the news telling theirgoons to avoid catching THD, so they’re shitting their Bedoin robes as much as anyone else.

      BTW, what is the term for someone who wears a keffiyeh? STEVE SMITH has taken to the look.

      • straffinrun

        Same. Biden’s running mate is going to be funny regardless of who he chooses.

      • Swiss Servator

        That is GRAND MUFTI STEVE SMITH to you, kaffir.

      • straffinrun

        Morning, Swiss. Did you see the Japanese politician press conference in the morning lynx?

      • Derpetologist

        Shaykh (vowel sounds like Fonzi ay, not chic) means old man in Arabic. They usually wear keffiyehs/shemaghs. The Arabic term for the US Senate is Majlis Ash-Shayukh- the council of old men. Khatyar also means old man or elderly.

        Mosque comes from masjid. In Egyptian Arabic, it got garbled into masgid, similar to the way the word for camel, jamal, got garbled into gamal. Sujud is the act of bowing down in prayer. Sajadah is a prayer rug. Saajid and Sajaad are both names which mean someone who prays all the time.

      • Not Adahn

        So there’s no equivalent of hijabi? Or is than an English invention?

      • Derpetologist

        Hijab comes from the verb hajaba, meaning to conceal. The related word hawajib means eyelashes.

        An old-fashioned word for a woman is hurmah, which comes from haram, meaning forbidden. The word harem comes from the same root.

        It’s like jihadi- that’s English. The Arabic term is mujahid.

      • slumbrew - double secret satan

        what is the term for someone who wears a keffiyeh?

        “douchebag”

      • Derpetologist

        fun fact: kofia means hat in Swahili. I’m pretty sure it’s derived from keffiyeh.

        The word turban comes from the Farsi (Persian) word dulband. The Turks garbled it into tulbent. The French garbled that into turban.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Star-Studded Ad Campaign Launched for New Chinese-Made PPCoke

      “I’ll never drink Diet Coke – or should I say “TrumpCoke” – again,” says Alyssa Milano. “This is much better – and that’s no joke!”

      • Derpetologist

        Me Chinese, me play joke?

        The weird part is, only an adult could write something like that.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Yeah, I was struggling with a pithy headline. I’m just imagining a bunch of #resistance types ditching Diet Coke because Trump likes it and instead drinking Coke with pee in it, and they’re all smiling and saying it tastes great because it would be racist to say otherwise.

  36. Unreconstructed

    Thanks for all the responses to my venting earlier. Shared misery is, indeed, lessened. Also, to Baked Penguin, my cousin’s favorite was this Kingmaker

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Thankfully the dispensaries here are considered essential and are staying open. Which is good, because I need more.

      • Grosspatzer

        I think medical MJ is still open for business here. Since it is not yet legal for recreational use, I’m sure the black market will operate as efficiently as always. I’d be more concerned if the state took over.

        Glad your supply is still online.

    • KSuellington

      The corner market across the street cannot keep the shelves stocked with booze fast enough.

  37. Yusef drives a Kia

    Wow 345 comments, and I’m done with BBQ,…………….

  38. Rhywun

    One of Svengoolie’s characters is doing plague PSA’s.

    LOL

  39. commodious spittoon

    Seeing more masks and more empty shelf space. Starting to worry this litany of irritations and mild inconveniences may go on indefinitely.

    • Not Adahn

      It will only go on as long as people with guns are making it go on.

      • straffinrun

        *Starts doing curls*

      • Rebel Scum

        *releases slide on pistol*

        Wait, am I doing it wrong?

      • Tulip

        Is there a Glibfits post tomorrow? Cause I’m actually doing well.

      • Not Adahn

        I am not. WFH is way too easy to snack. Plus WFH leads to boredom which leads to snacking. And of course, if I felt any stress, I’d be stress eating too but I’m sure that’s not happening.

        I should do some of the bodyweight exercises Chafed linked earlier throughout the day.

      • straffinrun

        Suppose I could step in for NotAdahn or Chafed. Not sure if you want to see how I got these washboard abs.

      • Not Adahn

        You bought a washboard and a nail gun?

    • Drake

      A friend had a Station turbo. Lots of fun when that turbo spoolled up.

    • Tundra

      Love it.

      Logged time in all four. As an owner of the Gen1 RX-7, I never really liked the Gen 2, but they were still pretty sweet.

      What’s funny is that the Civic blows them all out of the water today!

    • Mad Scientist

      I’ve owned the Mitsubishi and the Mazda and enjoyed them both. The Porsche is a pig of a car. It had decent handling, but that cast iron engine was gutless.

  40. Charles Easterly

    There was a time.

      • pistoffnick

        We were sittin’ in the back seat just shootin; the breeze
        With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
        Signed Just Married

      • pistoffnick

        You might be right, GT.

      • pistoffnick

        Second favorite John Prine song: Spanish Pipedream

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLSGLOLsuTo

        Blow up your TeeVee,
        throw away your paper
        Go to the country,
        build you a home
        Plant a little garden,
        eat a lot of peaches
        Try an find jesus on your own

      • Jarflax

        Most bland possibly, hard to see how N.. Dak could be the worst.

      • MikeS

        Thanks…?

      • Jarflax

        LOL, yeah sorry. If it makes you feel better I live in Ohio which comes in 25-26 in virtually every ranking category you can think of. We are as average as average gets averaged.

      • Gender Traitor

        But we’re the BEST at being average!

      • MikeS

        Says the guy from the burgeoning communist utopia on the lake.

      • pistoffnick

        I know…{hangs head}

      • pistoffnick

        He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays
        Caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
        He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done
        Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen
        He’s my baby, I’m his honey
        I’m never gonna let him go
        In spite of ourselves we’ll end up a-sittin’ on a rainbow
        Against all odds, honey we’re the big door-prize
        We’re gonna spite our noses right off of our faces
        There won’t be nothin’ but big ol’ hearts dancin’ in our eyes

        I don’t like Iris Dement’s voice otherwise this song would be near the top of the list.

  41. Mojeaux

    I am starting to get seriously freaked out about Walmart closing at 8:30. d00d, I NEED to be able to go to the store at 1:38 a.m. on the dot. I feel like a junkie without heroin OR methadone.

    • Jarflax

      I am perfectly content to spend entire weeks in my house without going anywhere. Now that I have been ordered to do it I am getting stir crazy.

      • RAHeinlein

        I was far snarkier than appropriate above – I apologize. The entire situation is stressful, but no excuse.

      • Jarflax

        S’ok, I snarked back and consider it fully balanced. I’m just going slowly insane watching people scurrry around praising every tyrannical order.

      • Tulip

        Exactly Jarflax.

      • Mojeaux

        I feel unsafe without SOMETHING open 24 hours besides QuikTrip.

        Oh wait. CVS is open. *whew*

      • Gender Traitor

        The year my mom spent Christmas in the hospital, I wound up doing the bulk of my gift shopping in the wee hours at the 24-hour Walgreen’s right across the street. Chia pets for everybody!

      • Rhywun

        LOL one year Mom bought everyone The Clapper.

      • mikey

        “Now that I have been ordered to do it I am getting stir crazy.”
        I know. I’d always been religious about wearing a seat belt. Hell, I’m old enough that I had to intall the things on y first few cars.
        When MA passed their seatbelt law I stopped wearing one around town. Stupid,but it really irked me that I was being forced to do it.

    • straffinrun

      They do blue light specials still?

      • Gender Traitor

        Ackshually, I’m pretty sure that was K-Mart.

      • straffinrun

        Hehe. Still never been to a Walmart. Sounds wonderful, though.

      • straffinrun

        Nice video. How do you get to that exact point where you can still kind of walk, but aren’t aware enough to find a place to sleep it off? And still buying more beer after you’re plastered… I honestly don’t get it. My daughter claims that she’s never seen me drunk. Guess I hold it better than others.

      • Tundra

        Same. A monster tolerance is definitely a blessing/curse.

        But yeah, a fun video.

      • DEG

        Several liters of bock bier and little food.

      • westernsloper

        Ha! Been there!

      • Drake

        Gravity just kicked his ass.

      • Mad Scientist

        I love that video. Holy crap that dude is plastered.

  42. Tulip

    Are fabric stores considered essential? Because I have a cheap couch (I bought it at Big Lots so it’s cheap in every sense) to replace a beautiful, but incredibly uncomfortable couch I bought off Wayfair, and I need Velcro to keep the cushions in place. It’s turning into the dog eating couch. Velcro could give me another year or two.

    • Tundra

      Home Depot is open. Plenty of velcro.

    • Gender Traitor

      Some Walmarts seem to have well-stocked fabric/notions departments, so you might be able to find some there – or possibly at a hardware store, if they carry some that isn’t too “heavy duty” for your purposes.

      • Mojeaux

        Walmart closes at 8:30 p.m.

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, if she doesn’t absolutely have to have it tonight… ; )

      • Gender Traitor

        (I’ll just go ahead and leave this here for myself:)

        ^(^
        (*)

    • Tulip

      Thanks for the Wal-Mart suggestion

  43. Derpetologist

    tv pitch-

    6 feisty young New Yorkers who wake up one day to find that they’ve been transformed into giant cockroaches

    ♫ Never told us it was gonna be this way…[clapclapclap] turnin’ into a giant cockroach! Is life fundamentally absurd?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7IibZ8DCZs

    • Jarflax

      The Metamorphosis?

  44. Tres Cool

    I just sat down and scrolled through…..either I’m drunk (SLD- no church tomorrow), or ya’all be cray

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Let’s go with drunk….
      Short Cans!

    • MikeS

      Obviously it’s both.

    • westernsloper

      *wipes spicy pork rind dust on shirt* Wut?

  45. Yusef drives a Kia

    Next big thing, Casey has a Huge space, I have huge Electronics and lights, My Daughters friends are bored, Virus Rave!
    next Saturday, private, word of mouth old school,
    /DEFIANCE!

    • Tres Cool

      + speakeasy

      HEY YUFUS!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Casey is half plus Seven to my Daughters friends, I get to run a show, and he gets to hunt….
        and it’s good for all the kids I know, we party….

  46. Tres Cool

    So I got a brisket at discount, and since Im doing it in the oven ( I dont have a smoker, you snots), I need a solid rub recipe. Help a brotha out.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Lotion?

      • Not Another Naked Digby

        Oh, gawd…LOL!

    • Tundra

      Go to amazingribs.com and make what they tell you.

    • AlmightyJB

      Salt, pepper, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, dry mustard, thyme, cayenne, ground celery seed, ground bay leaf.

    • westernsloper

      What Tundra said, those guys have good recipes. Also, I read a recipe about a smoked pork butt in the oven. If I remember correctly said tent the thing on a rack over a sheet pan of water and liquid smoke for however. For a brisket you want 190 and get there slowly oven about 250- 270? Take out, wrap in foil and put it in a cooler for a few hours and let it rest. Then put it back in a hot oven and crust it up. Maybe, never done a brisket in an oven.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      If I remember right, Aaron Franklin just uses course salt and course pepper. I usually follow this. I don’t have a smoker either, but use my charcoal barrel grill to add smoke for a few hours before finishing overnight in the oven.

  47. straffinrun

    Shortages be coming, so I’ll ask: What can you use as a substitute for say, wet wipes or coffee filters? Basically, I just go without shit if I don’t/can’t get it unless it’s absolutely necessary. Is there a substitute for stoicism?

    • Tundra

      Get a reusable coffee filter. Or a Moka pot.

      Alcohol is the substitute for stoicism.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Order the 5L Kakubin from Amazon and pump dispenser.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Sanitizing or just general cleanup for the wipes?

      What’s your coffee making setup? In days gone by, we’d use paper towels in a pinch. Cheesecloth or clean T-shirt material would also work.

      • straffinrun

        Hand poured into filter. One of those plastic things that holds the filter and sits on a coffee cup. Used to use fancy coffee makers, but kind of gave up over the years.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Do the same, except it’s a ceramic filter holder. Buy a large box of filters or use clean tight knit cloth (not washed with fabric softener or dryer sheets). I would think any run on coffee filters would be temporary, unlike sanitizing stuff or masks.

      • straffinrun

        Cool. Check it after after my noon conference call.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not filters, just an alternative for your coffee shop. 😉

    • KSuellington

      Get a coffee press and never buy another filter again.

    • AlmightyJB

      Bandana

  48. DEG

    Even more beer.

    I got to thinking about the hot redhead that works at their taproom. i should know better.

  49. KSuellington

    Got the turntable back in action with a new cart that sounds incredible. Hold on to Freedom rocking right now. Love me some Lee Michaels.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0vvvr3AFOk

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’ll stick with DeadMau5 right now thanks…

    • westernsloper

      I clicked your link and then perused Q’s above. Works as a great soundtrack for naked women.

    • DEG

      Her eyes are slightly crazy.

    • hayeksplosives

      Biden really has passed the pint of no return. Vice President might have to invoke emergency powers.

      • Gender Traitor

        Feature, not bug?

    • Jarflax

      That is a statement that could apply to anything short of a Jackson Pollack.

  50. straffinrun

    Getting slammed with big, globby, wet snow today. Or is that corona flakes?

    • Derpetologist

      Corona Flakes? They’re Grrrrrrrrreat!

    • pistoffnick

      You know who else got slammed with big, globby, wet things?

  51. Yusef drives a Kia

    speakers popping air into your face, as the river ebbs and flows, shots are good, and dogs are pissed, don’t touch, this is bad, still looking for the one that got away…
    Defiance on the down low, seems like a good idea, but enemies, yet, what to do…….

  52. Nephilium

    Alright all, if any of you drunkards (or abstainers) want to hang out, I’ve got a Zoom account now.

    Here. Chat, play games, drink what have you.

    • commodious spittoon

      Aren’t they Trudeau’s problem?

      Wait, I asked that wrong.

      Why aren’t they Trudeau’s problem?

      • KSuellington

        The whole Canada thing was a ruse. She wants him in LA so they can be near reality show central and then go before a California divorce court in a couple years

      • commodious spittoon

        She’s halfway between Mary Antoinette and Sharon Tate. She’s nothing but class condescension and aristocratic entitlement. You’re playing with fire dabbling in progressive politics, lady. They’ll have you up on the gallows and you’ll be crying about how you jetted around the world sobbing their stories.

      • grrizzly

        At least Harry is a grandson of the Queen of Canada. And yet Canada refused to pay for his bodyguards. Fuck no should we pay for his protection.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oh,HELL NAH.

      Seriously—international protected person—does such a “rank” exist, and can anyone name a few for comparison?

      • Raven Nation

        The only thing I can find is a Red Cross/UN thing relating to combat zones.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Harry cannot live in the US without armed protection.

      There’s his answer then. He can provide for his own armed protection.

      Or get his own gun like his fellow Englishmen… ahhhh ha ha ha!

  53. westernsloper

    I am hungry. Time for a Tri tip french dip with Gruyere and a movie. Ya, I bought a french baguette for french dips. I have no spine. Be safe kids and wash your hands.

    • KSuellington

      Now that’s a sandwich. Enjoy.

    • Derpetologist

      I have a dream of making a grilled cheese sandwich with Raclette. Raclette tastes good with sriracha.

      Side note- the nutrition facts for sriracha say no sugar, but sugar is listed in the ingredients. Must be less than a gram of sugar per serving.

      • pistoffnick

        You can’t go wrong with Raclette

  54. Derpetologist

    off yourself the fun way!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthanasia_Coaster

    ***
    The Euthanasia Coaster is a hypothetical steel roller coaster designed to kill its passengers.[1] In 2010, it was designed and made into a scale model by Lithuanian artist Julijonas Urbonas, a PhD candidate at the Royal College of Art in London. Urbonas, who has worked at an amusement park, stated that the goal of his concept roller coaster is to take lives “with elegance and euphoria”.[2] As for practical applications of his design, Urbonas mentioned “euthanasia” or “execution”.[3] John Allen, who served as president of the Philadelphia Toboggan Company, inspired Urbonas with his description of the “ultimate” roller coaster as one that “sends out 24 people and they all come back dead”.[4]
    ***

    On the downside, you don’t get to buy a picture of yourself when you get off.

    • straffinrun

      Damn, Yusef. If listening to that sad stuff helps, go for it. Have a chat if you want.

      • commodious spittoon

        I just want to take a nail clipper to that mole.