Glibfit Bonus Round – Tejicano’s Guide to Pull-Ups

by | Apr 5, 2020 | Advice, Fitness, GlibFit, Pastimes | 283 comments

First, a few terms –

Rep – one repetition of the exercise – for pull-ups or chin-ups this begins at the bottom, hanging from the bar, then raising one’s body to the top of the motion and then descending back down to the bottom.

Set – a number of reps done repetitively without releasing the bar.

Negative – the movement starting from the position at the top of the exercise and descending to the bottom of the rep.

Chin-ups – grasping the bar with my palms facing towards oneself

Pull-ups – grasping the bar with palms facing away from oneself

Kipping – kicking the legs while swinging the body during a pull-up or chin-up to assist the upward motion toward the bar

I’m not going to get into a discussion about why one would want to do pull-ups – or for any exercise for that matter. If you don’t know why you want to do pull-ups I’m not sure I can help you find the motivation to get there. I will say that it is one simple exercise which is moderately challenging.

With my 60th birthday in the rearview mirror I find healing up takes much longer than before. But even if you are in your forties your ability to heal might be slow enough that building up strength to do pull-ups has to be approached slow enough that you don’t end up injuring yourself. I had been doing this for years, trying to push myself too hard (doing as many reps per set as I could push myself to do) and ending up with repetitive use injuries and needing a break to heal. After a few weeks off healing I could not do as many as before so I started back behind where I had been when I stopped. I tended to see-saw like this all the time, always getting injured after a few months, never reaching my goals.

For many years I had been doing chin-ups, not pull-ups. But I always found that I could only do maybe 25% the number of pull-ups compared to the number of chin-ups I could do. I am not sure that this was because I was always focusing on chin-ups over pull-ups and thus I was stronger doing chin-ups or if it was because pull-ups are harder to do that chin-ups. But for me I took it to mean that I needed to train more doing pull-ups instead of chin-ups. YMMV.

What If you cannot do one pull-up?

The reason one might not be able to do pullups could be due primarily to a lack of upper body strength but it could be compounded by excessive body weight. If you are obviously overweight I will assume you are working on losing that weight as well but, as long as you are continuing to get that into a normal range, working on doing pull-ups is something you can be doing at the same time. In fact, doing both at the same time will be mutually beneficial for both efforts.

Until recently it had been “common knowledge” that most women and even some men are not capable of doing pull-ups. Theories about different muscular structures, lack of testosterone, upper body strength potential, etc were taken as gospel, Even the US Marine Corps believed this and did not require its female Marines to do pull-ups. That was until Marine Corps Major Misty Posey showed the Corps that not only could some women do pull-ups but she proved that she could train any reasonably fit person to do pull-ups.

Getting Started

For many people who lack the upper body strength to do a pull-up one hurdle which many don’t even recognize is the very first part of the movement going from hanging with the shoulders relaxed then raising until the shoulders are set and the elbows begin to bend. Before you can do a pull-up you will have to strengthen the muscles of the back and shoulders which are used to pull the body up to this position.

It may seem counterintuitive but you actually build strength on the negative – the point after reaching the top while declining back to the bottom of the rep. So for people who cannot yet do a pull-up the key is doing negatives until they build enough strength. How you get to the top position is not so important. Using a rope or band to step into to raise yourself with a leg or any other box or platform for the same purpose is one way. If you do not yet have enough strength to keep yourself descending in a controlled manner then you should use a leg in the same way to control your descent. (To gain enough strength to do an unassisted pull-up do sets of these assisted pull-ups using the Soviet system explained below.)

Once you are able to do at least one pull-up there are some points to understand and incorporate into your practice. First, you want to do full range of motion on each rep starting from a dead hang with the arms straight. Then you pull yourself up at least until you touch the bar with your throat.

As a more challenging standard you can pull yourself up until your chest touches the bar. This is significantly more difficult, requiring strength in a more extended range of motion.

One important point – while you are doing pull-ups you must tighten your glutes and abs as if you are expecting to be kicked in either place. You will be able to do more reps this way. If this is difficult for you then you will need to do strengthening exercises for your abs and glutes as well. I wish I could explain why this is true but it seems self-evident to me from the first time I did them this way.

Kipping is OK for getting above the bar to do negatives but is not proper form and doesn’t train the right muscles for pull-ups. This goes against Cross Fit dogma where kipping is allowed mostly because Cross Fit focuses on high intensity, dynamic motion which does not build strength. It’s the difference between doing barbell squats and running a 10k. Both strengthen the leg muscles but for different activities. It isn’t bad per se, it just isn’t the goal we are focusing on here.

The Soviet difference

I have recently learned of and adopted the Soviet strength training system which is quite different from the system I had always used before. This system focuses on fewer reps per set and more sets overall. The number of reps per set should only be enough to be challenging but not stressing. Very rarely, if at all, should you train to muscle failure. And there should be enough rest between sets to recover – at least 5 to 10 minutes or more.

The benefits are gains in strength while avoiding injury and consistent, if slow, gains.

For pull-ups do five sets throughout the day. This is good if you have a pull-up bar at home and you are working from home. Or if you have a pull-up bar at home but work elsewhere you can do your first set when you wake up, the 2nd set before leaving for work.

If there is a way to do your 3rd set at or near your workplace do it there. You might even do your 4th set there as well. Then do your 5th set after you get home.

If the only place you have access to a pull-up bar is at home then do your 3rd set as soon as you get home, your 4th set before or after dinner, and your 5th set before going to bed.

Start with the maximum number of reps you can do easily in proper form. The key is proper form with full range of motion. Do that number of reps for your first set. Wait at least 20 minutes before the next set. Even longer intervals are good as long as you complete the last set on that day. On the second set do one less rep than the last set. Continue, doing one less rep on each succeeding set.

So if your “max easy“ set is five reps, on the first day you will be doing 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1.

Then on the next day you do : 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 2.

On the third day you do : 5 – 4 – 3 – 3 – 2.

On the fourth day you do : 5 – 4 – 4 – 3 – 2.

On the fifth day you do : 5 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2.

On the sixth day you rest – no pull-ups.

On day 7, the day after your rest you do : 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2.

After that you continue the pattern –

Day 8 : 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 3.

Day 9 : 6 – 5 – 4 – 4 – 3.

Day 10 : 6 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 11 : 6 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 12 :     Rest

Day 13 : 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 14 : 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 4.

And so on.

  1. So you can’t do five pull-ups easily. If on your fourth rep you are already breaking form then here is the pattern:

Day 1 : 3 – 2 – 1 – 1 – 1.

Day 2 : 3 – 2 – 2 – 1 – 1.

Day 3 : 3 – 2 – 2 – 2 – 1.

Day 4 : 3 – 3 – 2 – 2 – 1.

Day 5 : 3 – 3 – 3 – 2 – 1.

Day 6 :   Rest

Day 7 : 4 – 3 – 3 – 2 – 1.

Day 8 : 4 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1.

Day 9 : 4 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 2.

Day 10 : 4 – 4 – 3 – 3 – 2.

Day 11 : 4 – 4 – 4 – 3 – 2.

Day 12 :    Rest

Day 13 : 5 – 4 – 4 – 3 – 2.

Day 14 : 5 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2.

Day 15 :     Rest

Day 16 : 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2.

Day 17 : 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 3.

Day 18 : 6 – 5 – 4 – 4 – 3.

Day 19 : 6 – 5 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 20 : 6 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 21 :     Rest

Day 22 : 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3.

Day 24 : 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 4.

And so on.

 

About The Author

Tejicano

Tejicano

283 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    I was told there was going to be no math.

    • Sean

      ^^ this

  2. straffinrun

    After seeing what we look like on Zoom, please tell me there will be video of us trying this.

    • Nephilium

      Don’t make me wear cycling gear for a call.

      • Crusty Juggler

        He said coquettishly, burgeoning his Covid goal of becoming Glibertarians first cam girl.

      • Count Potato

        covid goal?

      • Crusty Juggler

        It’s how he plans to supplement his income during the coronavirus hiatus.

      • straffinrun

        What do you wear during your cycle? 😉

      • Nephilium

        I’m a fan of this jersey, my Surly cap, and bike shorts.

  3. Crusty Juggler

    Me rn

    Good article, Teji. Pull ups, much like pushups and squats, are a great exercise that everyone – even girls!!!! – should incorporate into their workouts.

    • Tejicano

      I find it interesting that the above mentioned female Major changed the Marine Corps’ mind about pull-ups. Female Marines had always been only required to hang from the bar. After Major Posey showed them how she was teaching other Marines to be able to do 20+ pull-ups in somewhat short order the Corps changed their fitness standards – not requiring female Marines to do them, just not giving them more than a passing score if they didn’t do them. Once they are able to do the required number for their age they can get 100 points for this event in the Physical Fitness Test (PFT). The PFT is a major standard by which Marines measure each other. In that competitive environment your latest PFT score carries a lot of social weight. Until this change in pull-ups standards the female Marines couldn’t really be full-fledged members of the team.

  4. Hyperion

    Ya’ll keep changing threads and you goan confuse us commeners. Anyway, math is racist, it is known.

  5. The Hyperbole

    Who the fuck can do 5 pull ups?

    • Count Potato

      A young me?

    • Tejicano

      Anybody in reasonably OK shape should be able to do 5 pull-ups in a couple months even if you can’t do one right now.

      The question I have been pondering is how ti follow this program once I get back to doing 25 pull-ups in one set. I’m concerned that doing 25/24/23/22/21 will lead to a repetitive use injury. Maybe I will have to scale down to 25/20/15/10/5 – doesn’t seem enough.

      • dbleagle

        Back when I was seriously into climbing fingers only door jam pull ups were mandatory. WE had a rule if you went through certain doorways 10 pullups were mandatory. At parties there were always pull up contests from climber pull up boards where you could have different size and type ledges and at different levels.

        One popular contest was: get a watch with a second hand, do 1 at O seconds; let the hand sweep back to zero and do 2, hand back to zero and do 3, on and on until somebody would win. If we were feeling particularly uppity hang during the rest period. Last one still to complete their set before falling off the bar would win.

      • Tejicano

        Cross Fit does a similar thing which they call “Death by Pull-ups” but the rest period starts when you finish a set. The longer rest period helps to do more reps and thus extends the session. It’s a pretty good way to make good gains if you don’t do it too often. Too often and you’re bound to get injured. I used to do that every other month or so.

      • Tundra

        My brother was/is a crazy gymnast and martial artist. The number of pullups those guys could do would shame most Marines and all crossfitters.

        Psychos.

      • Tejicano

        Gymnasts have what I refer to as monkey strength. It is one thing to be able to pull twice your body weight on a lat pull-down machine. It is something completely different to be able to easily transport yourself swinging from arm to arm. The combination of strength and stamina through a natural range of motion is my goal.

      • Tundra

        I agree with you. This absence from the gym has made me reconsider the rest of my 50’s. Doing bodyweight stuff isn’t the same awesome as loading up a barbell for deadlifts, but I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t better.

      • Tejicano

        Just before I turned 50 my first kid was born and I found I hadn’t been to the gym in months. I looked around for a good physical challenge I could do at home with minimal equipment. What I found was the (original) 300 workout – https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/a19536290/muscle-building-10/

        It took me about 8 weeks before I could even jump to a 24 inch platform – had to start with a 12 inch platform. The push-ups were the only thing I could do 50 of in one set when I started. I did the other exercises in a circuit until I was finally doing all in one 50 rep set. Then I focused on the overall time.

  6. Hyperion

    Wut?

    Really? We can’t trust communist dictators because bad orange man?

    • Tulip

      If Trump convinces the left they can’t trust commies, he will be the greatest president ever.

      • Jarflax

        Self doubt is always good.

    • Chafed

      I notice the byline doesn’t she in what administration she served. I’m too lazy to look it up. I’ll guess the Bush administration. This will be offered up by The Left to discredit her.

      • Chafed

        Even better.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Democrats were traditionally always more hawkish on China than the GOP.

      • Hyperion

        Well, they weren’t commie enough or dictator like enough until Xi Jinping. And bad orange man. So makes sense.

      • Count Potato

        True. Democrats started Vietnam. Nixon went to China.

  7. Crusty Juggler

    “That was until Marine Corps Major Misty Posey showed the Corps that not only could some women do pull-ups but she proved that she could train any reasonably fit person to do pull-ups.”

    This lady is 4’10 and can do pushups like whoa.

    • Tejicano

      IIRC she can do 20 dead-hang pull-ups – which is the gold standard in the Corps.

      • Chipwooder

        Shit, that’s more than I ever did as a Marine. My PFT pullups usually ranged between 12 and 16.

  8. Chafed

    Thanks Tejicano. That is definitely a different training system. I didn’t know it existed.

  9. Crusty Juggler

    Columbo is available on Amazon!

    I shall leave you with this piece of advice:

    Please make sure to wash your hands for at least twenty seconds after touching any surface or your body. A good rule of thumb is to sing the “Happy Birthday” song, which how you will know the twenty seconds are up!

    Also, don’t lick public toilet seats.

    Be safe!

    • Jarflax

      I live in a tank of Everclear. It keeps me drunk and clean. The downside is my eyes have dissolved.

    • Hyperion

      But, for something better:

      Quilombo

      • Hyperion
    • Rhywun

      I just watched an episode of Columbo on MeTV. I forgot and/or didn’t appreciate at the time how great that show was.

      • Plinker762

        Just one more thing

      • Grosspatzer

        #metoo. And they got all the top names on as guests, consistently.

      • Rhywun

        Vera Miles and Vincent Price tonite FFS

      • Gender Traitor

        My mother adored Columbo. : )

      • Count Potato

        I wonder if getting a digital antenna is worth getting.

      • Gender Traitor

        We got one back when all the local broadcast stations were digitizing their signals a few years back, but we have cable so we never used it until our cable was out after Dayton’s tornado last year. Found a few things to amuse ourselves – including Babylon 5, IIRC – but I was very glad when our cable (including internet) was finally restored.

      • Tres Cool

        Dude…make your own

  10. Tejicano

    A couple months ago I heard about the Soviet power lifting training system from an interview with Pavel Tsatsouline and adapted that to my weightlifting program. Then about a month ago I heard about this similar system adapted to pull-ups – called something like the Russian Fighter Training System. Since it is follows the general outline of the Soviet system I had been using I figured I should give it a try. I’m seeing good gains without injury so I figured I’d bring it up here for discussion.

    • Chafed

      Secret commie status confirmed. 😉

    • Crusty Juggler

      I saw Pavel on Rogan.

      Don’t rush to life heavy!!!!! is probably a good method.

    • Derpetologist

      Eh, the commies racked up all those medals by aggressive use of performance-enhancing drugs.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doping_in_East_Germany

      ***
      The communist government of the German Democratic Republic (GDR) conducted a decades long program of coercive administration and distribution of performance-enhancing drugs, initially testosterone, later mainly anabolic drugs to its elite athletes. The aim of this program was to bolster the state image and prestige by winning medals in international competition such as the Olympic games. The East German doping system started in the 1960s. The system was extremely formalised and heavily based on a notion of secrecy. On a performance level the system could be qualified as being successful. East German athletes were part of the elite and the country achieved successes. However, the doping system gradually affected the health of numerous people.

      While the results of doping were impressive for East Germany in performance in sporting events, they were often devastating for the athletes involved: “While figures cannot be precise, the state-inspired doping program affected perhaps as many as 10,000 athletes. Not only was cheating at the center of the program, but so was the abuse of the athletes’ health. Female athletes, including adolescents, experienced virilisation symptoms, and possibly as many as 1,000 sportsmen and -women suffered serious and lasting physical and psychological damage”.[18][19][20] One of them is former swimmer Rica Reinisch, a triple Olympic champion and world record-setter at the Moscow Games in 1980, has since suffered numerous miscarriages and recurring ovarian cysts.

      Often, doping was carried out without the knowledge of the athletes, some of them as young as ten years of age. However, there is a heated debate. Recognised figures such as Werner Franke argue that doping can be qualified as a choice of the athletes.
      ***

      Choice in East Germany?!

      • Tejicano

        I would never pretend that the ComBlok athletes didn’t use lots of performance enhancing drugs. And I suppose that that is a reason why their training methods have not been viewed seriously until just recently. However, reviewing their strength training system I see no reason to toss the baby out with the bathwater.

      • Derpetologist

        True. The AK-47 is a fine weapon. They would not have been a superpower if they hadn’t gotten some things right.

        Seeing as Russian athletes have been banned from the Olympics for PED use, it appears that old habits die hard.

        It would been interesting to compare the training regimens of various warriors like Aztecs, Mongols, etc. I suspect the common element would be hunger and lack of sleep.

      • Tejicano

        “It would been interesting to compare the training regimens of various warriors like Aztecs, Mongols, etc. I suspect the common element would be hunger and lack of sleep.”

        Heck, just 40-something years ago when I was on active duty only a few Marines spent time in the gym lifting weights. And the few who had bodies like a Greek statue got that way from calisthenics, hard physical activity – and proper genes. I was at a PX on a Marine base a few years ago and the striking difference that supplements and better training have made – even in uniform it was obvious they all had well developed upper body strength.

      • Derpetologist

        Look at pics of WW2 GIs – most of them were rail thin, and many smoked. Fun fact: calisthenics means beautiful strength in Greek.

        I’ve struggled with weight my whole life. The only thing that works for me is to exercise like crazy, otherwise I inflate.

  11. Derpetologist

    I like the alternating grip pull up. Rope climbing is better, but pull ups are safer.

    In related news, the treadmill began as punishment for English prisoners: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Al-30Z-aH8M

    [thinks back on the thousands of hours spent treadmills]

    The horror. The horror.

    • Tejicano

      I always love how action movies make rope climbing look like something anybody could do. Just grab the rope and go! IRL very few people even know what techniques work for climbing a rope – how to use your feet and where to grab to rope WRT your shoulders.

      Treadmills – I had never run on one until I was in my early 30’s. I had always run outdoors for most of my life. I’ll always remember what it was like getting off the treadmill after running on one for the first time – it felt like the world was rushing by me even though visually it was standing still. Bizarre.

      • Derpetologist

        Age 30 to almost 31 was my weight loss odyssey. Many, many hours on treadmills. Worth it though. Now that all the gyms are closed, I must run outside.

        Fortunately, my run-time cut-off will soon move from 17:42 to 21:00. Thanks, ACFT!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwkdDLMAEyM

        Goodbye sit-ups!

      • Tejicano

        “my run-time cut-off will soon move from 17:42 to 21:00”

        Forget that pass/fail time. Focus on the 100 point time.

        In the reserves I found that I didn’t “Army” very well so I just “Marine”ed and hoped it was close enough. My PFT goal was always to pass for every event and for every age category. Other Soldiers would notice and remark that I always ran between 15:00 and 15:35 in my late 50’s. Few noted that the run was my weakest event.

      • Derpetologist

        Best run time I ever had for a record was 15:25. And that was because I wanted very, very badly to get out of the quasi-prison my AIT took place in.

        Nonetheless, I have decided I am going to run 2 miles every day for as long as I can. So tired of treadmills.

      • Tejicano

        Since I was coming into the Reserves at a much older point in my life than you were/are I felt it necessary to prove that I was able to keep up. People tend to look at older soldiers as just trying to skate by and not being able to do the same work as the younger troops. I tried to turn that attitude on it’s head and make them try to keep up with me.

      • Derpetologist

        I like that attitude. On the mental front, I got a kick out of proving to the younger folks that I could learn better than they could at language school.

        Fun fact: 59-year-old Afghanistan veteran will report to Army basic training this summer

        https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2020/01/14/59-year-old-afghanistan-veteran-will-report-to-army-basic-training-this-summer/

        ***
        The 59-year-old former Marine and civil affairs soldier was less than three years short of retirement when he left the Army in 2009 to move home and spend more time with his family. But after work calmed down in his civilian life, Gould began a year-long process to reenlist with an Army Reserve unit so that he can be eligible for retirement and maybe give something back to younger troops.
        ***

        He had to lose 50 some pounds, so I recall.

      • Tejicano

        It’s funny the things that motivate us.

        It was 1980 and I was in the last month of a 4 year enlistment in the Marine Corps Infantry. I went to see the movie “10” at a theater. In one of the opening scenes Dudley Moore is standing with his feet in the surf, watching the sun go down, drinking cocktails with two other older guys. One of the guys is a bit tall and obviously 70 or 80 lbs overweight. In the conversation the other guy mentions “Bob here was a Marine” – Bob didn’t seem to want to say more about it – to me it seemed he was ashamed of how out of shape he was.

        I doubt many people even noticed that line but to me it hit me like lightening. Inwardly I vowed that I would be the opposite. I wanted to be the guy who, in a room full of people, somebody across the room might tell somebody – “Yeah, Tejicano – he’s the Marine over there” and everybody would know who they were talking about.

      • Derpetologist

        One of the best compliments I ever got:

        I was in a gym locker room. I took off my street clothes. A guy in a towel at the far end said “Marine?”

        I put on my Army workout shirt, showed him the logo, and said “No.”

    • pistoffnick

      “Rope climbing is better, but pull ups are safer.”

      During wrestling practice, we would run the halls in our high school, then climb the rope to the ceiling. To help the guy climbing, the on-deck guy would lay on the mat and hold the rope taut. I was holding the rope when suddenly the rope let loose of its attachment. The guy fell about 15 feet. Luckily, I rolled out of the way. Could have been much worse for me. Nobody was hurt.

      • whahappan

        We used to grab the rope and climb up the closed bleachers after school and swing from the rope. One time, I was at the top of the arc and the rope came detached. I fell maybe 12 feet, sideways onto the gym floor. Hurt, but no real damage. One of the other guys took the rope, and hung it from a tree in the woods and we would swing from it for years later. 🙂

  12. Tundra

    Thanks, man.

    You didn’t disappoint. I love the Soviet difference.

    Once I finish the program I’m on (chin-ups), I’m gonna do strict pullups as you describe.

    If this is difficult for you then you will need to do strengthening exercises for your abs and glutes as well. I wish I could explain why this is true but it seems self-evident to me from the first time I did them this way.

    It’s why the whole body strength is so important, eh?

    Actually, I can’t think why I couldn’t do your routine with my normal strength stuff. Thoughts?

    • Tejicano

      ” I can’t think why I couldn’t do your routine with my normal strength stuff.”

      Sorry, what did you mean when you wrote “normal strength stuff”?

      • Chafed

        Masturbating to Sole Asylum I assume.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        A real shoe-in, amirite??

      • Tundra

        Soul, but yes.

        Ackshully, I meant doing his pullup routine in conjunction with my 3 days per week bodyweight stuff. Which includes chin ups.

        For you, Chafed.

      • Tejicano

        I’m not sure I would recommend doing this at the same time as a chin-up routine. Maybe do your chin-ups with this method? While the muscles worked by chin-ups and pull-ups don’t exactly overlap you are stressing many of the same groups. If you are young enough that you recover fast enough then go ahead. Personally, I wouldn’t do both because this old body doesn’t heal fast enough.

      • Tundra

        You’re right. I’ll do yours after I finish this block.

      • Chafed

        Damn autocorrect.

        Sorry Tundra. I waited an hour and it was just hanging there.

      • Tundra

        If you didn’t take the shot, I would have been really disappointed.

        Just remember, nice guys don’t get paid.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        And I, in turn, am sorry, Chafed–I just saw it and was compelled to riff.

  13. straffinrun

    Well thought out regimen (regiment). Blew my shoulder out years ago and putting all that weight on it hurts like hell. Why I’ve gone with cycling and jogging. A few curls for the gurls here and there.

    • Mojeaux

      Blew my shoulder out years ago and putting all that weight on it hurts like hell.

      Yep. Just thinking about pull-ups/chin-ups makes my shoulders ache.

      • Tejicano

        You might try some hanging from the bar to stretch and reset your shoulder. I had been having problems with one shoulder and started just hanging from the bar for 15-20 seconds a few times a day. It really helped.

      • Mojeaux

        One’s got a torn rotator cuff. The other has a modified repair that is not, shall I say, OPTIMAL (because I left it too long). Doc was pissed at me. “I TOLD YOU TO DO THIS 3 YEARS AGO!”

        Well, he’s gonna be doubly pissed when he gets to the not-repaired one.

      • straffinrun

        Some stretching would help I’d imagine. I’ll try the hanging TJ recommends. I’m just trying to burn the calories in a way that doesn’t cripple me.

      • Tejicano

        I know what to do to strengthen the rotor cuff to keep it from getting torn – but I don’t know what to do when it’s already torn. When I used to lift heavy I would do a couple exercises to keep the rotor cuff strong – which involved really light weights (about 2 lbs). It seems like it wouldn’t help but if you tried these exercises with heavier weights you end up recruiting different muscles and not training the rotor cuff properly.

      • straffinrun

        Using the bands for resistance. Arm hanging by your side, pull band from across the stomach till your fist is pointing away from you. Worked on one of my shoulders, but the other must be more nuked.

      • Mojeaux

        I tore one when I slipped on ice getting out of the car and caught myself. I still remember how badly that hurt. I tore it MORE putting beef into my car (back when I could lift a lot). That put me out of commission for good on that. I lived on steroid shots for a good 5 years.

        I don’t remember how I tore the other one, which means it’s probably a repetitive use injury. When I first got evaluated for my right shoulder, my left one was fine. And then it wasn’t.

      • Tejicano

        Not that it does you any good to hear this – but this is one of the reasons I do strength training especially as I get older. It’s too easy to slip, trip, fall and stress part of the body in ways that it isn’t ready to be stressed. Strength training keeps the muscles coordinated and better prepared to react to sudden, dynamic requirements.

  14. Derpetologist

    If a Marine likes to eat subs, does that make them a sub-marine?

    I’ll be here all week!

    Fun fact: marin means sailor in French

    Mare means sea in Latin. The Romans called the Mediterranean Mare Nostrum – our sea.

    Mediterranean means of middle earth, yet there are no hobbits there.

    • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

      That YOU know of.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        Well, those guests aren’t going to regale themselves, and, Lemuria needs much more discussion.

  15. Donny McDonface

    la cerveza no es esencial

    Within days a whole new set of panic buying was taking place. Forget the run on toilet paper, beer hoarding was on in cities and towns throughout Mexico.

    • Derpetologist

      fun fact: cerveza comes from the Latin word for yeast, cervesiae. The scientific name for yeast is saccahromyces cervisiae – sugar-eating yeast in Greek + Latin.

      Saccharin means “like sugar” in Greek.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn-cbsg7Dq8

      And now you know. Be sure to eat your pork chop sandwiches!

      • Derpetologist

        It’s interesting that the words for meat in English come from French, but the words for animals come from Anglo-Saxon. That tells you who ate the meat was a different sort than those who raised the animals.

  16. Fourscore

    About 4-5 years ago I was gonna see if I could still do a chin-up. I couldn’t. Then I discovered I’d forgotten how to ride a bike.
    Still pretty good at eating 3 times a day though.

    Thanks, Tejicano, good to remind us once in a while of what we could do not so long ago.

  17. Gender Traitor

    I’ve had one wonky shoulder my entire adult life – I think it must have gotten hyperextended once when I was in high school. It doesn’t cause me much discomfort unless I sleep on it wrong, but it makes ghastly noises if I rotate it. Would a chin-up or pull-up routine be a good idea or a bad idea for me?

    • Tejicano

      Just mentioned this above – you might try hanging just to stretch the shoulder. Our shoulders were designed for us to hang from branches from time to time so when we don’t do this for a long time they can get too tense in ways they aren’t supposed to be.

  18. Aloysious

    Nice numbers.

    Many people think pie are round.

    Pie are not round, pie are square.

    • Derpetologist

      When I was bigger around, my nickname at renn fairs was Sir Cumference. My consort was Princess Di of Ameter.

      • Aloysious

        My favorite title from Bugs Bunny cartoons is Sir Loin of Beef.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sir Ohsis of the Liver!

      • Gender Traitor

        “I dub thee Sir Osis of the Liver.” (M*A*S*H)

        Why is there no Glib using this screen name???

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That was Bugs Bunny, Mash stole the line

      • Gender Traitor

        Damn your nimble fingers, Yusef!

    • Lackadaisical

      *throws rotten fruit*

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Inversely?

  19. commodious spittoon

    Tom Woods was on Michael Malice’s show last week. Good stuff. You could work out to it.

    • commodious spittoon

      Sorry, very failed podcaster Tom Woods.

    • straffinrun

      Michael laughs way too hard at one of his jokes and clearly makes Dave really uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable just listening to it. Other than that cringy part, it was a fun episode.

  20. Hyperion

    If we had communism, ya’ll would just have to shut the fuck up and there would only be one thread, because no one needs more than one thread, and things would be better.

      • Jarflax

        How come Brooks gets to jump the line?

      • Gender Traitor

        Some Glibs are more equal than others?

      • Hyperion

        It’s like the last three commenters in this thread are the worst of the worst. It’s the end times for sure.

      • Gender Traitor

        Am I the new worst??? HA! In yer FACE, Mojeaux!!!

      • Mojeaux

        Dangit.

        *mopes* *kicks pebbles*

      • Hyperion

        You’re the bestest new worst ever!

      • Mojeaux

        Wait, does that means she’s the best of the worst and I’m the worst of the worst?

        *sticks tongue out at GT*

      • Gender Traitor

        *moons Mojeaux*

      • Hyperion

        I say that GT is the new WORST. Worst EVER! Fight me!

      • Gender Traitor

        ::looks around for anyone arguing the point, sees no one. Takes off on victory lap, fists pumping::

      • Tres Cool

        Christ, I just tried to explain to Jugsy why “obeying orders” is detrimental to liberty

      • Ownbestenemy

        So no sammich?

      • Hyperion

        Dude, did you see Rush at Hara Arena? I’m just asking. Worst acoustics ever.

      • Tres Cool

        I saw AC/DC there in 1983
        “Fly On The Wall”

        Also, Cheap Trick in 1987 during their “On The Edge” tour

      • Hyperion

        “Rush at Hara Arena?”

        1977

      • Tres Cool

        She’s on the “doesnt apply to me” boat. And doesn’t get “not at the moment”.

      • AlmightyJB

        I saw REO Speedwagon at Hara. Free ticket, don’t judge. They sounded great. Of course I was practically sitting on the guitar stack.

      • Gender Traitor

        RIP Hara. : (

      • Chafed

        Tres, what does that mean? It doesn’t bother her or the rules don’t apply to her?

  21. DEG

    I’m drunk and haven’t read this post yet. I’m catching up on what was posted while I had a fire going in the fireplace.

  22. Tres Cool

    tl;dr but I didnt see over-hand vs. under-hand grip

    Discuss

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Hers or Yours?

    • Derpetologist

      pull up is overhand, chin up is under

      and now you know

      I suspect a pull up works the back and shoulders more.

      • Mojeaux

        pull up is overhand, chin up is under

        Never knew that.

        #TIL

      • Ownbestenemy

        Where I come from one of those is called the stranger and the other, wife.

    • straffinrun

      Are we still talking about pull ups?

      • Tres Cool

        No, tennis

    • Tejicano

      I mentioned it at the top of the article – didn’t get into details other than to say that I had trained doing chin-ups and found I was doing lots of those but still deficient in pull-ups. They work different parts of the body. When I hit my goal with pull-ups and am maintaining that I will probably begin alternating between pull-ups and chin-ups – while I work towards doing one-handed pull-ups.

  23. Jarflax

    Oh God, my alcoholic, drama-queen, probably bi-polar, poster child for don’t stick it in crazy, friend from law school is calling me drunkenly crying “that her life is ruined” because her big firm partner husband has cheated on her and is divorcing her. I can’t deal with weepy conversations about how she had to move out of her “mansion”. Fortunately when I expressed my disappointment that she had fallen off the wagon she got mad and denied she was drinking, then the call dropped.

    • Gender Traitor

      How fast can you either block her number or get a new one for yourself?

    • AlmightyJB

      So she’s single now.

      • DEG

        So she’s single now.

        But somehow I think I should avoid her.

    • Hyperion

      Dude, I’m sorry. You’re now her new bestest friend and you’re going to have to fuck her, or not.

      So you can make up your mind. Either she calls you several times a day and you have to stay on the phone for hours a day, or you have to fuck her.

      What’s it gonna be?

      Yeah, I know I’m an asshole, but I’m your friend.

      • Jarflax

        Not a chance. She is too crazy for me and far too needy. This is the girl who, while a 2L, already $200k instudent loan debt, sneered at the idea of a $30k wedding (all the parents, his not hers could afford), and borrowed additional money so she could have 200 guest reception at a 4 star downtown hotel and a Vera Wang dress. She also insisted that her male friends be groomsmen ( I got demoted to Usher when I burst out laughing about the dress)

      • Gender Traitor

        I always suspect that chicks like that care a hell of lot more about the wedding than about the marriage.

      • Derpetologist

        They want to get married. They don’t want to be married.

        TIWTANLW

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylxeJYRCq4w

        I stand in awe of people who can make a marriage last for life. It’s like the one baby sea turtle in 1,000 who survives to reproduce.

      • Gender Traitor

        Sometimes it takes a couple of tries. Mr. GT is my second, and I’m his third. We’ll hit our first 25th anniversary in December.

      • Derpetologist

        [sincere applause]

        My parents have been married for 39 years. I’m impressed.

        My grandparents all made it past the 30 year mark. How? I don’t know.

        Back when divorce was harder to get, I think people chose more carefully.

      • Mojeaux

        Some days it’s harder than others. A LOT harder. Not the good kind.

      • Tres Cool

        I have 2 friends from Akron; both in a band. We dont agree on much, other than we like to talk and hang out.

        She has been with ‘her dude’ for over30 years, and they’re more married than most ‘married’ people I know.

      • DEG

        I always suspect that chicks like that care a hell of lot more about the wedding than about the marriage.

        As I’m sobering up before I go to sleep, I noticed this.

        I think more women than not care about the wedding more than the marriage. On the other hand, maybe I’m too cynical.

        Jarflax would be best walking away from this mess.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        Man, this sure has the possibility of great glibs discussion–The modern American woman, marriage, and the Wedding-Industrial complex.

        An a man an obsolete, I am more attuned to notice the ‘wedding over marriage’ behavior, when I see it. I find the issue to be, Where is the line between someone being excited for their Big Day, and the Look At Me!! almost-narcissism that can show up.

        I find it hard to fault anyone who has trouble dealing with the scope of marriage prior to the marriage. That difficulty, though, doesn’t negate the need to do so, nor does it prevent bad things from happening in its absence.

      • Derpetologist

        Thank you, good sir. Reading your comment made me feel much better about being a borderline hermit.

        I guess there’s always the Dick Proenneke route: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG3fUIoXQ5A

        [longs for the badlands of Wyoming]

      • AlmightyJB

        And an alcoholic too! Be still my heart. Lol.

      • Jarflax

        I know right, what a shock.

      • Jarflax

        The funniest part to me is we hadn’t spoken in 10 years because I told her I didn’t need the drama any more and she went off.

    • Mojeaux

      If he cheated and is divorcing her, I’d say that warrants a drunken drama queen rant, but that’s just me.

  24. straffinrun

    *SMDH* You don’t have to go through all that trouble with pull ups and chin ups. Just get a barbed wire tattoo around your biceps.

    • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

      I think straff is speaking truth on this.

      • straffinrun

        A good mullet would help, too.

      • AlmightyJB

        good? I haven’t seen a mullet in a long time. Except on commercials for reality TV shows.

      • straffinrun

        There are good mullets. Tell me Jim Acosta or Brian Stelter wouldn’t look good with one.

      • AlmightyJB

        Only if they wore ‘No Fear’ t-shirts and hung bull testicles on the back of their pick-up trucks. Alternatively, they could sing a karaoke duet of Aiky Breaky Heart, but they have to look at each other through the whole thing.

      • straffinrun

        *sucks in gut, struts*

      • Tres Cool

        Zubaz. The only thing that pairs with NO FEAR is Zubaz

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        ::crosses fingers::

        **pleasepleaseohplease, let straff be playing this –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSp0kO-NBWw

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        I………….yes; yes, they would.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        Which leads to the question: How many pull-ups could Joe Exotic do?

        I know–he was more of an ‘observer’. Still, the drug regimen kept him nimble enough, for the most part.

  25. straffinrun

    My British friend who is a total labor supporter put this up on FB. Interesting how this pandemic is playing out along political lines.

      • Chafed

        The All Drug Olympics were held in Kansas?

      • Rhywun
      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        I do identify as obsolete.

  26. DEG

    But even if you are in your forties your ability to heal might be slow enough that building up strength to do pull-ups has to be approached slow enough that you don’t end up injuring yourself

    Now I’m reading the post.

    I’m in my forties.

    Fuck.

  27. DEG

    That was until Marine Corps Major Misty Posey showed the Corps that not only could some women do pull-ups but she proved that she could train any reasonably fit person to do pull-ups.

    I like this person.

    • Tejicano

      I am truly enthralled with this person. In this age of gurl-power and this SWJ push to make the elite forces accept women – she has single-handedly changed Marine Corps’ policy to make training harder for women, not easier. But she didn’t just make it harder, she taught them how to get there. She has made the standards more difficult by showing how anybody can do it with the right approach – it just takes effort.

  28. Hyperion

    I seriously do not know what has happened with the Brits.

    Do they need another ass kicking?

    Limeys

  29. straffinrun

    Normally, I hate these stupid training sessions at my company. Today’s was rather informative.

    • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

      Let us know when it’s your turn to give the presentation–I think we all want to see that.

      • straffinrun

        I use that towel to clean my hands.

      • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

        #MannequinFresh

      • Festus

        Should have used a live model for verisimilitude.

    • Rhywun

      Who are you going to trust – top scienticians or Woody Harrelson?

      /honest question at this point

      • DEG

        Neither.

      • Toxteth O’Grady
  30. straffinrun

    An idea I had for a short story, but wasn’t sure if it had been done before: Every morning when people wake up, they are a different person in the world. They don’t remember anything about the person they were yesterday except for the main character who, due to some glitch in the system, can remember. I wanted to use it as a counter to Rawls’ Veil of Ignorance argument. Anybody heard of this premise before?

    • Lord Digby's Golden Age of Ballooning 2--Balloon Harder

      It sounds like a “familiar” conceit, but, I don’t know of any. I definitely wouldn’t consider myself a good source of info, though.

    • Tundra

      Everything has been done before.

      Write the fucking thing.

      • straffinrun

        Last time I did fiction, people in the comments were bitching that they were sure they had read it somewhere else before. But, you’re still probably right.

      • Tundra

        I am right.

    • Tejicano

      I had the same idea about 2 years ago. But I was an illiterate goat herder in Uzbekistan then so I couldn’t write it down. And everybody I’ve been since then knew it was his idea so it felt too much like plagiarism to write it down when I did know how to write.

      And it sounded better in the original Uzbek anyway.

      • Tejicano

        And truthfully, I’ve had some interesting story ideas some parts of which were used in Hollywood movies later. There’s lots of possibilities but the interesting ones are limited so naturally some ideas will be conceived independently by different people.

      • Mojeaux

        There is a thing, a collective consciousness, if you will. Ideas float around like radio waves and all the people tuned to whatever frequency get roughly the same idea at the same time. Sounds crazy, but I’ve seen it happen too often.

      • Tundra

        Absolutely. The cool thing is, somebody can actually coax it out of the broadcast and make it compelling.

        You’ve done it a bunch.

      • straffinrun

        The basic premise surely has been done. I’m thinking about how you’d use the device to show how it would be logical to advocate for adoption of the NAP if you knew you’d be someone different the next day.

    • one true athena

      I definitely agree with Tundra, that even if the premise has been used before, it doesn’t matter. Write it anyway. Yours will be different.

      it reminds me a bit of Dark City (the Proyas movie), but that’s the closest I can think of.

    • Mojeaux

      I have said this many times before and will continue to pound this drum: The story doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how the person tells the story.

      • straffinrun

        Thanks, Glibs. I write about two stories a year and this always bugged me. Good advice.

      • Tejicano

        “show how it would be logical to advocate for adoption of the NAP”

        This is how you will make the story different even if somebody else had the basic idea before.

    • Chafed

      Sounds similar to Momento.

    • Shirley Knott

      Gene Wolfe’s Soldier of the Mist comes close.

  31. dbleagle

    Today was pretty “meh” so I ended it by cooking up some shrimp and garlic over angel’s hair. Just finished the repast sitting outback in the dark watching the thunderstorms build over the ocean while listening to this.

    The panic by all the governments suck but this is an okay place to try to ignore the idiocy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEZH0t5Yozw

    Rain is pounding down so I am listening to it while inside and considering my next musical selection.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Not dumb. I am, however, surprised it hasn’t taken off in the more scared areas of media. I mean, they need everything they can get to help keep us in line.

  32. DEG

    I should be asleep. Moo Goo Gai Panic (credit to whomever came up with that) has allowed me to fuck up my schedule. I should have gone to bed hours ago. This song is currently playing. I will make an effort now to go to bed. ‘Night.

    • JD is Unemployed

      I still prefer lung pao sicken.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Ewww…

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      It gave me quite a chuckle, and prompts me to ask what inspired it.

      • straffinrun

        Just what I hear in my head when I listen to those pressers.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        It’s surprising (to me) that it fits so well. Thank you for the brain ear worm. ?

        /yeah–it’s what they gave me for “worm”

      • straffinrun

        I can’t edit well at all with that software, but just use your imagination, eh.

      • JD is Unemployed

        Yet it’s clearly an insect larva. This is the dumbing down of emojis, people!

      • JD is Unemployed

        It is true that BOM put Acosta where he is now. Perhaps he can put him back down, too.

  33. UnCivilServant

    Morning, people. With any luck I’ve corrected for you lot keeping me up to all hours with ‘talking’ and ‘interaction’

    • Festus

      Wearing your morning gloves I’d presume.

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, we’ve regained consciousness enough to operate a keyboard. Unlike SOME people, I have to be conscious enough to drive a car. If I achieve that, I’ll consider that my accomplishment for the day. What more do they want from me anyway???

      Morning, gentlemen.

      • UnCivilServant

        Good luck, drive safe, keep your car-mounted flamethrower fuelled just in case there are hostiles out there.

      • Sean

        Morning.

      • Festus

        Shiny-side up, GT!

  34. Festus

    My TV is still functional but today was a fucking nightmare… Thanks, Late-Chat Glibs, Thanks a lot.

    • Gender Traitor

      I do hope my presence wasn’t cramping your collective style re: conversation topics. Please be advised that I have a VERY high threshold of offended, else I wouldn’t have lasted very long here.

      • Festus

        Oh, Heaven’s no! We say things. I keep joining late, is all. Maybe next week I’ll be ready, willing and able.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was only censored by an inability to get a word in.

        I have noticed that in any conversational grouping, a small number of people will do most of the talking and politeness will prevent the remainder from cutting in. At face to face groupings this inevitably results in a fragmenting of the conversational grouping where appropriate, but in conference calls you just end up with more people silently waiting, unable to participate because the opening to speak never arrives.

      • Gender Traitor

        That’s true. I also noticed – and I’ve even noticed this in one-on-one phone conversations – what seems to be a greater tendency to have “crosstalk”: people more or less accidentally talking at the same time. That suggests the question, with text messages and online typed “chat,” are we losing our timing (or whatever skill allows us the back-and-forth of “normal” conversation) when we try to carry out spoken conversation at a distance?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, I’m pretty sure these patterns were always there, otherwise turns of phrase like “getting a word in edgewise” would be new rather than old.

      • Festus

        It’s worse when the thread is fresh. So much laughter. Wait. Are you calling us a bunch of loud-mouths?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, it’s a pattern I’ve noticed everywhere.

      • Sean

        Now I’m less intrigued to participate.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you, everyone was talking.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, I found it entertaining. I don’t mind listening for the most part. Granted, mostly I’m just waiting for the right moment to throw in a smartass quip. The more everyone else drinks, the funnier I get.

      • Festus

        It’s rather the opposite for me.

      • Festus

        Join us. It’s a hoot!

    • Gender Traitor

      We’re using cash as much as possible when we get carryout for dinner from our local joints. We want to save them the expense of the interchange fees associated with taking plastic. I don’t plan to stop doing this.

      • Festus

        That’s a nice gesture. We’re not on total lock-down here but I’ll do the same if it comes to it. Sounds like the curve is flattening for now, anyway.

      • Count Potato

        Is there a good way to sterilize cash?

      • Festus

        Sure. Just lick it.

      • Count Potato

        I know it can survive being washed with clothes.

  35. Festus

    Funny that Straff looks more akin to Bill Gates than The Hyperbole. I kinda featured him as a monster among midgets. The Hyperbole and Diggy should have a beast battle.

  36. Gender Traitor

    From the big local news station’s daily “What You Need to Know for [fill in day of week]”:

    DeWine announced he will begin wearing a mask in public, however, it is not a requirement for Ohioans at this time.

    Add a ball gag, and we’ll count that as progress.

    • Festus

      I love you long time, GT.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::gives Fes innocent (virtual) peck on cheek::

      • Festus

        Ewww! Glib Cooties! j/k Right back atcha.

    • Tres Cool

      I may have mentioned that the 1 upside of people wearing masks in public?

      Everyone looks much better.

      • Festus

        Aw c’mon. Yer a handsome Man.

    • Festus

      Today is gonna be local strip-steak and baked potato day.

  37. jacksprat

    Muscle ups or GTFO