Thursday Night Open Post

by | Apr 9, 2020 | Open Post | 513 comments

OK, so technically, YOU PEOPLE make every post into an Open Post, but still. Every once in a while we like to give you an actual Open Post.

Proceed.

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

513 Comments

  1. Tundra

    Goddammit.

    Must I wear pants, now?

  2. Crusty Juggler

    I’ve got an open post in crotch of my pants.

  3. Crusty Juggler

    I’ve got an open post in the crotch of my pants.

    • Chafed

      Is it twice as large as you thought?

    • Crusty Juggler
    • straffinrun

      Front or back?

      • Not Adahn

        That’s why he posted it twice.

  4. Chafed

    Ok medical types, I need an explanation. Local California reporting keeps saying our death rate won’t peak until mid-May. Meanwhile the UW projection https://covid19.healthdata.org/united-states-of-america/california says April 15th. Why is there such a mismatch between the two projections? How do I tell which is more likely?

    • Tundra

      Don’t worry.

      Your fearless leader wants to make Cali its own country.

      Good luck!

      • Chafed

        Listening to Newsom and Garcetti makes me want to vomit. Garcetti is on the radio not now lamenting 10% of America has lost its job due to the crisis. No shitstain, we lost our jobs because government closed everything up.

    • Tres Cool

      Cause your electorate, like ours here in Ohio, isn’t done yanking their power-boners over the new authorities they’ve granted themselves via “emergency action”, and any time you hear “the peak is two weeks away” and it doesn’t happen means they’ll move the posts to 2 more weeks away.

      Yeah, I know its a run-on.

      • Chafed

        I agree with you. I’m trying to cut through the bullshit to understand what is really going on. The IMHE model has not been conservative and the estimates keep ratcheting down. I’m glad for that. That’s why I’m trying to understand why there are projections saying the peak won’t hit for another month.

      • Tres Cool

        I may need more foil on my head, but Im also wary of ‘we need a blood sample to see if you have COVID-19 antibodies. Of course we’re not cataloging your DNA for anything. Look- if it helps save JUST ONE LIFE! Hold your arm out, gospodin….”

      • Crusty Juggler

        This is akin to trying to determine how soon the earth’s warming will kill us all.

      • juris imprudent

        You can’t cut thru their bullshit, because for a politician it is endless.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Three people you should never listen to:

      Doctors
      Moms
      People who project the unknown

      • Chafed

        I’ll just wait for Hyperbole to come explaining why you are wrong.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m not a doctor, but I am a mom.

        Can confirm.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why do you hate owners of first run movie theaters?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Ohh ho! Ooooh…. If I were Swissy….

      • Tres Cool

        Contrary- once when I was in trouble in NYC and had to get a lawyer, when it was all said and done he asked me some questions I was dodging around about. He (Donald J. Birnbaum- 10/10 would recommend) said, “Son, let me explain something to you. Never lie to your lawyer. And never, ever, ever, lie to your doctor. We’re 2 people you’re paying to save your butt.”

      • westernsloper

        I lie to my Doctor about the proverbial drinks per day but I am pretty sure he knows I am lieing.

      • Crusty Juggler

        I said nothing about lying! Of course you shouldn’t lie to your lawyer or doctor.

        But you should never listen to your doctor.

      • Lackadaisical

        why have a doctor then?

      • Crusty Juggler

        Just in case you want to listen.

    • Lackadaisical

      they’re both pulled out of some guy’s rectum, so don’t trust either.

      • AlmightyJB

        This

    • AlmightyJB

      The Covid site may not be taking into consideration California’s talent for making everything worse.

      • Chafed

        That’s a fair point.

    • Jarflax

      Not a medical type, but wouldn’t any estimate of ‘peak’ date be arrived at by creating a model with various assumptions? And at this point (and by this point I mean within the first outbreak of a previously unknown virus where we don’t actually know any of the variables) wouldn’t all of those assumptions be somewhat untested? I am skeptical about how bad the disease really is, how fast it actually spreads, when it first arrived, what the actual case mortality rate is, but I think anyone honest is hedging any prediction right now, at least about the disease. I think predictions about the macro economic effect of retooling unemployment to pay people more for being unemployed than employed, and simultaneously shuttering a third or more of the economy are based on models with much better assumptions.

    • juris imprudent

      Full retirement due to PTSD.

    • Brett L

      Remember McNulty’s drunken hit & run fakeup from The Wire? Like that but incompetent.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Let me attempt a prognostication (?): They are most obviously alcoholics. Ergo, they suffer from alcoholism. That’s a disease to be treated. And, you wouldn’t want to get rid of seasoned, trained police officers, if their affliction can be healed, right?? Plus, the fear of losing their jobs (due to your awful prejudices) is why they falsified those records.

      So, in he end, this is the fault of all of you, for putting them in this position in the first place. They need compassion, not ridicule. This is NJ, after all.

      • whahappan

        ADA FTW!

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Bing. O.

    • BakedPenguin

      Pack of Fredos.

    • Lackadaisical

      I’ll never get the image of his nipple piercings out of my mind.

      • Rhywun

        Purported piercings. I’m of the opinion it was electrical tape or something similar to keep his nips supple under the chafing of that shirt.

      • Lackadaisical

        I choose to believe this, because it is less damaging to my psyche.

      • Count Potato

        I’m of the opinion it was electrical tape or something similar because he was doing a burlesque show later.

      • juris imprudent

        Electrical tape, electrodes – what’s the diff?

      • Count Potato

        Conductivity?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        to keep his nips supple

        Rhy’s a fairly quiet guy, going by what he demonstrates in the vid chats.

        It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

    • Tres Cool

      I cant decide if that was kitsch or just sad.

      • BakedPenguin

        You needed to hear the Hello Kitty bass solo at the beginning to make it complete?

    • BakedPenguin

      That was actually much cooler than I though it’d be.

      • Chafed

        It’s the man that makes the sound; not the guitar.

    • Gojira

      I actually enjoyed that. So did my wife. Then I enjoyed my wife. Thank You, Zakk Wylde!

      • Chafed

        ?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I…..hmmm….

        Also–hey, Goj. Hey, Chafed

    • Hyperion

      That is just so fucked up, I can’t even…

  5. The Hyperbole

    And just when I was getting my contrarian on in the last post. Allow me to paraphrase for brevity’s sake. The ‘Entire Economy” hasn’t been shut down, and you are allowed to go outside. The overreaction to the overreaction is just as bad as the overreaction.

    • westernsloper

      Ya, 16 million people filing unemployment claims in a few weeks and crashing state’s systems aint shit. Jut roll with it.

    • Walford

      Move along. Nothing to see here.

    • Tres Cool

      “The ‘Entire Economy” hasn’t been shut down, and you are allowed to go outside. ”

      Well that’s awesome. Even people in solitary get 1 hour outside daily in most prisons.

      • The Hyperbole

        Tres, you can go out whenever you want, I’ve spent most of my time outdoors since this whole thing started and have never once been asked to show my papers. If you want to be taken seriously you may want to cut back on the hyperbole.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s rather meta.

      • Tres Cool

        4th wall. Shattered.

      • Jarflax

        Are we actually under house arrest? No, obviously not. In terms of my daily routine the only thing that has changed is that I work from home a bit more often than previously. But I am an extreme introvert, and stay at home as much as possible. People who like socializing are not as fortunate. In terms of economic consequences? We are at 13% unemployment already and counting. The news cycle is non-stop Corona and new orders from the Government. The Republicans are shovelling pork like they are trying to feed an army of alligators, and the Democrats are screaming no more! Oh wait sorry I messed that up. They are screaming NO! More!

      • DenverJ

        I wanna go socialize and play pool. How many 20 and 30 yr olds aren’t hooking up, falling in love, and starting families. On the other hand, how many young couples are spending their quarantine makin’ babies? I predict massive baby boom next spring. I mean MASSIVE.
        End train of thought.

      • Fourscore

        In grade school we had to go outside for recess, morning and afternoon. Teachers need a smoke too.

    • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

      A garden variety forced closure of most mom & pop stores and businesses in the country. Happens all the time.

      • mikey

        How long until the “entire economy” is really esssentially broken. Partiularly after the Feds destroy the currency.
        Scariest is that our Top Men want to “manage” the “restart”.
        If I were God Emperor I’d make everyone read I Pencil.

    • Tundra

      The fuck?

      • The Hyperbole

        How exactly has the entire economy been shut down. I’ve been told (thanks Winston) that there isn’t even a ‘the economy’ it’s just people exchanging goods and services. Yes ‘the man’ has clamped down on some aspect of that but did we claim that the entire economy was shut down when the man didn’t let us sell drug to one another or hire out hit-men? Look, I’m not saying it’s all hunky dory I’m saying the “OMG this is the end times!!” is a little over the top.

      • Tundra

        My supply chains are already starting to strain. If commercial construction takes a shit, we’re fucked. It’s not the ‘entire’ ecomony, but you can’t just shut down parts of it and expect to make it out the other side.

        But of course you know this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Mills are reducing production or shutting down entirely because they’re building up finished inventory with empty order files.

      • Fourscore

        The economy, unlike a balloon, squeezing in one place doesn’t make the it pop up somewhere else.
        What does pop up are opportunities for some due to the detriment of those being squeezed.

      • The Hyperbole

        And that’s the essence of markets is it not? Even in these trying times there are people hiring, yes if you lost your management job at the Cineplex it’s going to suck but people still need ditches dug.

      • juris imprudent

        You got a permit for that ditch? Then fill that hole back up son.

      • pistoffnick

        “What’s your dirt doin’ in the boss’s ditch?

      • Lady Z

        Isn’t this how the frog gets boiled?

      • Tres Cool

        Its just like bathwater now. Calm down.

      • Lady Z

        Can we at least have bubbles?

      • Mad Scientist

        You can YouTube all the Lawrence Welk you like!

      • Hyperion

        Look, dude, you’re overreacting. 40 million people might become unemployed and you might not be able to buy basic necessities, like food, in a few months because the government has destroyed the supply chain and reduced the value of the dollar to Venezuelan levels, but cheer up, you can still go outside. Don’t worry, be happy!

      • The Hyperbole

        40 million jobs were just fictions held up the government? If that’s the case then the reckoning was coming sooner or later anyway, I guess I’d rather it happen now and I’ll deal with it then push it off on my niece’s and nephew’s kid’s kids.

      • LemonGrenade

        A lot of people have been declared non-essential and ordered out of work. They *had* viable jobs as small business owners – hair salons, spas, nail salons, massage artists, makeup artists, cosmetic surgery, interior decorating, rehabilitation services for alzheimer’s patients, just off the top of my head. These are all businesses ordered shut down by various state governments, and it barely scratches the surface. I’m not going to blame people for shutting down their business after they were ordered to by the state government and threatened with fines for not obeying, but I will absolutely blame my governor for putting all of those people out of work unilaterally. This was terrible, it was a draconian overreaction, and I’m perfectly justified in being pissed, even if I still have my job.

      • Tundra

        Yes.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        There’s contrarian and then there’s just plain stupid.

        It has hit my wife pretty hard to be out of work because her fitness studio is “nonessential”. I’m sure it’ll be a great relief to her to know that you thought it was gonna happen sooner or later, and that it’s better it happens to her than to your distant future relatives.

      • The Hyperbole

        Look I’m arguing against the idea that somehow 40 million people will be out of work, not that no one will have to take a haircut. Yes, it sounds like your wife is getting the shaft here, and that sucks, It sucks that anyone has to lose a job that they love and take one that they may not like just to get by. But that’s how it’s always been, just because we’ve had it pretty cushy for a few generations now, one shouldn’t think it’ll always be that way.

      • LemonGrenade

        There’s a difference between losing your job because no one is interested in paying you to do it, and losing your job because the fucking state government has said you can’t do it any more. I, for one, am suddenly desperate to go get a haircut, a manicure, pedicure, a massage, and maybe a facial. But I *can’t*, because my state governor dictated that these were non-essential and had to shut down. Yes, a lot of these businesses probably would have suffered as a result of moo goo gai panic from the general population, but there are a substantial number of citizens who would and are willing to take the risk, had the governor not threatened us. Call us cowards if you will, but this is deliberate interference with free contract, free assembly, and the state economy in general and I’m sympathetic to the people who suddenly find their specializations disallowed, and pissed at the state for having ordered it in the first place.

      • Jarflax

        I think you are conflating two ideas, a normal recession where jobs and businesses that were not justified by demand go away, and the current situation where an outside force radically changed demand. The Government shutdowns are only one face of the outside force. People panicking about the virus would likely have killed many of those jobs anyway, which may be your point? But that is very different from an ordinary economic correction. Additionally the scope of the failures this time is beyond the recession level, and the results of a depression are NOT the same healthy pruning of the ‘economy’ that a recession produces. A lot of healthy ‘wood’ gets cut off in a depression, and responding to a depression with ‘stimulus’ ends up having a number of nasty effects.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      The overreaction to the overreaction is just as bad as the overreaction.

      Bullshit. The overreaction has tens of millions of people out of jobs. The overreaction to the overreaction uses a bit of hyperbole to describe what is, at best, a moderate recession, and at worst, a major depression.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        (Agreeing with you, here, trashy) What is teh second Overreaction, anyway. I’d say that musing about it being worse than it is–and I don’t agree with that take, because, we can know it’s bad, but will still only get a partial picture–isn’t an overreaction. Us taking up arms and doing “Preet” things would be an overreaction.

        But, us simply talking about how bad we perceive things, based on all the evidence at hand, isn’t exactly an overreaction. At least, not of the magnitude that is hurting the economy. And, if it’s, at most, of a much lower magnitude, why chastise everyone about it? Advising caution may be warranted (I don’t know), but, saying that the others here are, in effect, way off base doesn’t seem to be accomplishing anything positive. And, that seems like what you are trying to do.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        “teh”??

        I got a fucking ‘teh’ in there?!?

    • Not Adahn

      No matter what happens, there will be some aspect of normalcy that a person can point to to say “see? It’s not all that bad.”

      Until they are dead, and in that case their opinion matters even less.

      • Tres Cool

        I had a thought on this, from a social observation. People do need to be told what to do.
        I often shop at a grocery that has 2 types of carts (buggies for you in the south)- the standard grocery cart, and then a smaller, stubby, one for fewer items.
        The corral in the parking lot of this particular store is segregated, regular carts on 1 side, small ones on the other.
        When I take my cart back (I ALWAYS take my cart back, and my pick up strays on my way some a-hole left in a park spot) I notice that people cant, or refuse to follow those simple instructions.

        If you cant do something as simple as “put cart X in side Y”, how can you be trusted to stay at home when you’re coughing all over everyone?

        I’m not saying this is justification for our current draconian measures, but I kinda get it.

      • Mad Scientist

        More people return their carts than not. Don’t judge the whole of society by the assholes.

      • Tres Cool

        Its an observation over how people follow instruction. Clearly in the instance of Cart A goes “here”, the slackers dont care. They’re likely the same assholes that just leave them in the lot outside the car once the unload them (which triggers my OCD). I understand that courtesy is a long way from obedience, but courtesy goes a long way in the midst of a viral outbreak. Flu, cold, herpes, w/e. Pick your poison.

      • Rhywun

        We are a low-trust country with all that implies – there’s no way around that.

        Example: grown people dropping their garbage in place because they’re too lazy to walk ten feet to a bin.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or spitting in public or chewing with their mouth open.

      • Tres Cool

        Exactly. And UCS has (from what Ive seen) had a position of “people need to be told what to do”.
        While I do picture him as a distant Igantius from “Confederacy of Dunces” who always wanted a strong monarchy, Im coming around to understanding. Im still convinced that the cure is worse than the cold.

      • Tres Cool

        /Ignatius

      • Tres Cool

        Gustave my man….I would fully support the public caning of people that refuse to put their carts away properly.

      • Rhywun

        They need to be told what to do… by their parents. That’s where most of the breakdown occurs.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I submit that people need other people to be told what to do. They want immunity for themselves, to do with as they wish.

        Of course, since others wants that, and they see ‘everyone else’ ignoring rules and whatnot, why the hell should they fall in line too? They were the ones who didn’t need so much structure in the first place.

        Lather, rinse, rep–aww, shit– I’m telling you what to do.

    • straffinrun

      Let’s take a look at this objectively. Is it true that we wouldn’t approve of almost any action the state would carry out to combat the virus? True in my case.

      • Tres Cool

        Who is ‘we’ ?

      • Crusty Juggler

        You. Me. Us.

      • straffinrun

        Glibs, libertarians, Ancaps, etc. I don’t mind Hype’s positing it the way he did and he even said he was getting his “contrarian on”. We should examine our positions.

      • straffinrun

        Of course, he’s absolutely wrong. But, it’s still a good discussion to be had.

      • Tres Cool

        I think you have a warped definition of “any action the state would….”
        Im not anti-gov’t, tho Im surely not a fan of the bloated leviathan the US currently has. I feel a measured response would have been to quarantine (in the true sense of the word) those at risk. It may take an unsavory order to do that, locking down nursing homes would be a fine start, before you hit the e-stop on manufacturing and services industries.

      • straffinrun

        I’m not saying that I agree or disagree with Hype’s or your position. My guess is I’m closer to yours, but it is important to take a look at why we believe what we believe and examine our biases. This whole thing is making everybody crazy to one degree or another and pushback is important.

      • The Hyperbole

        So we have shut down the entire economy? And we aren’t allowed to go outside? I’m not saying you people shouldn’t be upset about the bullshit the government is pulling. I’m saying there is a danger in over stating it, just like most of us will immediately ignore anyone who starts their argument with ‘Orange Man Bad” or “Climate Change!” some people we may be trying to reach are going to tune us out if we start every claim with similar partisan talking points.

      • straffinrun

        Who is saying in all seriousness that the “entire economy” is being shut down? Like, no shit, the ENTIRE economy is shut down?

      • Tres Cool

        So you’re going to wait until it is shut down? Until your doors are welded shut (I know…its wood framed, but you get the idea)

      • Hyperion

        “So you’re going to wait until it is shut down? Until your doors are welded shut (I know…its wood framed, but you get the idea)”

        One of Obama’s great wise men and all around scum and human piece of dung (putting it nicely), Ezekiel Emanuel, has suggested just that by claiming we have to be locked down for 18 months.

        Is there any doubt in anyone’s mind what the consequences would be for that?

        A Malthusian’s dream come true.

      • Tejicano

        The French mouse in his pocket?

      • Not Adahn

        True, because the state’s action would almost certainly be wrong, even if it had the right to take that action.

        To take a correct action, you have to either be correct in the same way that a single monkey with a single typwriter might accidentally write War and Peace

        or you have to

        1) Know hat the right action is
        2) Be able to implement that correct action
        3) Within the time available
        4) With the resources available
        5) Without causing any greater harm.

        Which is impossible on any large scale

      • straffinrun

        Agreed.

      • Tres Cool

        I guess any concern I have its that “we’re never going to let anyone ever get sick again!”
        And close things to the point that….we’ll, you know how it goes

      • Tres Cool

        -we’ll + well

      • straffinrun

        Legit concern. I’d say the precedent had already been set decades ago. We are simply seeing the logical extension of that precedent.

      • Tres Cool

        again, you’re seeing petty wannabe despots yanking their power-boners over actually being in charge of EVERYONE

      • straffinrun

        They have been petty despots for years. They were restrained for legal reasons, but to know why they are able to do what they are doing now, all you have to do is look the “why can’t the govt force you to eat broccoli” argument to SCOTUS. It’s the same principle expanded to fit the current situation.

    • Rhywun

      knew it

      • Tundra

        I’ve been on a NO kick today.

        I can’t believe how well they hold up.

        Especially because they were all such assholes!

        This always makes me laugh.

      • Rhywun

        I can’t believe how well they hold up.

        Yup. They were smart about that.

        I still can’t get enough of Low Life or Brotherhood.

    • Sean

      I don’t have enough New Order in my car. I need to add some tomorrow to the sd card.

      I think I’m a little light on Depeche More too…

      • Tundra

        They are supposed to play here in Sept. I’m going.

      • AlmightyJB

        We’ll all be unemployed by then. We could do a meet up:)

      • Tundra

        Thanks. I’ve got business in LA and that seems to be an ideal time to go!

      • Chafed

        That look like a fun festival.

      • Sean

        *Mode

        But y’all knew that, fucking auto correct

      • straffinrun

        I enjoy the silence.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I think I’m a little light on Depeche More too…

        That would make you Depeche Less?

  6. Mojeaux

    Question: Got a kid who doesn’t think in words or pictures; she thinks in concepts and has to stop and go very carefully to put things into words. People get impatient with her for not getting “it” (whatever “it” is at that moment) and needs to have things explained 2 or 3 times to get it.

    So my question is, where/ to whom would I take her to learn some coping mechanisms and learn how to translate what other people are saying into something she can comprehend and act upon?

    • Tundra

      Don’t worry, Mo.

      She’s out in the world. She’ll make tremendous progress.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Basic training?

      /mostly kidding

    • Tres Cool

      Abstract mathematics.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      she thinks in concepts

      As in she creates models in her mind and doesn’t react well until the model is filled in?

    • AlmightyJB

      Has she tried repeating what she’s heard? How old is she?

      • Jarflax

        If she doesn’t primarily think verbally that won’t help. I have a family member who is this way, extraordinarily intelligent but thinks in images, and concepts then has to translate that at a much more conscious level than most people in order to communicate. This makes for a slow reader, and someone who sometimes takes a bit longer to get something when it is explained. But the upside is that it makes for someone who sees through verbal obfuscation quite well. And my relative is a succesful trial attorney, so it certainly doesn’t prevent one from succeeding in a verbal profession.

    • westernsloper

      She will figure it out on her own.

  7. westernsloper

    #repostingfromdeadthread With additions.

    I just talked to my sister who made the mistake of marrying a Canadian and lives in BC.(I am kidding he is an awesome guy) They are on full lock down too. Economy headed down. Anyone looked at the stats for Canada?? Jfc the whole continent has lost its fucking mind.

    • Tres Cool

      Look…its like Christmas lights. You cant let your neighbor out-do you. Trudy saw what the US was doing, and had to act accordingly, even if they have 10% of our population. Plus, he’s dreamy, has those socks, and can tell you about quantum computing.

    • juris imprudent

      Mexico may go on lockdown, mañana.

      • Tejicano

        After they think about it a little more. And, of course, after Siesta.

        Mañana es Sabado, que no? Make that next week. Can you come back on Tuesday?

      • westernsloper

        My bad for saying “continent”. Mexico is the only smart player on the continent.

    • blackjack

      That’s what I find interesting. Most of the world is going down the same rabbit hole. We will equally knock ourselves down a few notches. The rich will be less rich, but relatively speaking they wont because everyone is getting a haircut. Of course, the truly poor places will suffer by massive margins. They can’t absorb the hit the rest of us have baked into this thing. Sweden is banking on being the exception. Personally, I think they’re right.

      • Tejicano

        Japan is playing it somewhere between the way it’s being done in the US and the way the Swedish are doing it. I am praying this thing peaks soon enough for the Japanese economy to get back on the tracks (minus a couple cars which we’ll have to make up for somehow).

    • Q Continuum

      Fuck ChiCom shitheads.

    • Tejicano

      DAFUQ? The Mainlanders have been calling it Wuhan flu as well. You’d think the CCP would be happy to see the islanders keeping in step.

    • Bobarian LMD

      China is asshoe.

    • straffinrun

      Lucky girl.

    • Crusty Juggler

      That’s wonderful.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Is that Tom Segura’s “friend”??

      /watch his newest special to get it

  8. Oy the Billy-Bumbler

    Does anyone know of any recall petitions being started for any of these governor’s that are going all commie? Specifically Whitmer in Michigan.

    • Tundra

      I promise you there will be one for our pin-dick Walz.

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        I really want some of these assholes to lose their jobs over this.

      • Tundra

        There has to be an attempt. You can’t let people be so wrong and keep their jobs.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “Going”?

    • Tres Cool

      We cant recall in Ohio. It was already discussed here in Ohio. Has to be an impeachment.

      • AlmightyJB

        They’ll be zero accountability by the local media as well. They all go to the same parties.

    • Rhywun

      Not a chance, anywhere. Sorry.

      • topnotchtoledo

        ^ this guy gets it. I’ll bet 25 cents that no gov will lose their job because if this. Look at how the sheep have just taken it in the ass and are asking for more. The guy in charge of NY where 1/2 of the country’s deaths are is being floated for Prez

      • Crusty Juggler

        STAY INDOORS

    • creech

      Isn’t Whitmer the one they are starting to talk up as Biden’s running mate? Female, swing state, yada yada.

      • Hyperion

        Biden’s VP pick with be White Squaw.

      • BakedPenguin

        Weird. This betting site in Antigua has Kamala Harris as the most likely VP nom. They someone I’ve never heard of as second choice. I think there may be serious hedging opportunities, but I need to think it through.

      • BakedPenguin

        Oh. Governor of MI. Never heard of her, and don’t give a shit now that I did. (Shoulda looked upthread, not that it’ll matter anyway)

      • Rhywun

        Hell, I had Kamala for pres nom. Didn’t work out that way obviously but she checks so many boxes it’s a good bet for VP.

        Liz? No. She’s sooner shiv Joe than accept a VP spot.

      • Hyperion

        She’ll accept it, like she’s been told to.

      • BakedPenguin

        I still don’t get why the DNC was so dismissive of Tulsi. I get that she broke ranks in 2016, but srsly? A (rather attractive) female POC with war-veteran status? Who can actually speak understandable English sentences (unlike Joe)? She seemed made for the D’s in 2020. Yeah, she sucks on economics and 2A rights, but they don’t give a flying fuck about those in the best of times. I guess they were thinking they’d never be able to call her to heel.

      • Tundra

        Tulsi isn’t part of the Club. Do you honestly think that either party, post Trump, will take a chance on anyone who won’t play the game?

      • Mojeaux

        It’s the “rather attractive” part they hate.

      • Tejicano

        I believe they’re both dismissive and threatened by her veteran status. On one hand it seems too right wing while on the other they know it appeals to lots of plebes and they have nothing to counter that with.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Te, FTW! Spot on, as far as I’m concerned.

  9. commodious spittoon

    Trump should be more worried about a moribund economy than bad media coverage, and since they’re already writing in his name next to COVID as Cause of Death, he should damn the torpedoes and open up regardless at the end of the month.

    • Lackadaisical

      how do you mean?

      almost all restrictions I’m aware of are on a state basis.

      • hayeksplosives

        Maybe quit with the federal subsidies for states that rolled over belly-up?

        Maybe that would provide some actual incentives to solve the problem (at the very least, ignore it).

      • Tres Cool

        Rolled-over?

        Oh, they were hungry to suck on the teat of ‘federal disaster declaration’
        They get that sweet milk from DC

      • commodious spittoon

        He should advise reopening, and throw the ball back to governors. Except of course for any federal workers unnecessary for the Coronavirus effort, they should stay home since they’re (of course) getting paid regardless.

      • Tres Cool

        Hah! Talk to the AFGE about that.

      • Hyperion

        “almost all restrictions I’m aware of are on a state basis.”

        You mean like all of them? The feds have offered some guidelines. Nothing wrong with that. They have not issued any edicts at all for people to stay home, as far as I konw of. It’s all being done by power hungry governors wanting to one up each other with ‘I DID SOMETHING!’.

        Most politicians are of inferior intelligence and sure as hell do not understand anything about economic or markets. It’s fucking shameful what is going on.

        It also is not having any impact. Why? Because people in general do not pay any attention. I go out to the markets to get food and stuff and let my wife stay home. I wear one of the N95 masks. I really hate those things. But half the people you see have their kids with them and they are just running all over with their pack or rug rats, and they don’t give a fuck about social distancing, their awareness is about the same as an amoeba.

        The best we can do and should do is try to educate people. Not destroy the economy and lives for no reason.

    • Brett L

      “Let me be clear: there will be no extension of new unemployment benefits or Medicare/Medicaid benefits to states who continue Draconian measures once their new test load drops below 1000/day.”

    • Rhywun

      Oh fuck off. It is WAY too early to draw such a conclusion.

      • AlmightyJB

        It is.

      • Hyperion

        If you’re the leftist media, it is NEVER too early to draw a conclusion. I mean the one you want to spin. In fact, the earlier the better.

      • blackjack

        In point of fact, it’s looking like the opposite. They have no worse or even similar numbers than the rest of us. Certainly not high enough to justify draconian lockdowns. When it’s over (will it ever really be over?) then we can assess thier decision with some degree of surety. Thus far, they don’t look worse than the lockedest downest of any of the rest of us.

    • westernsloper

      Confirmed cases vs deaths is a dumb data point in my uneducated opinion. How many people have been tested? Most people don’t even know they have it. What is the criteria for being tested? What test is it? Ya ya ya, we must follow science. Ya know what? Science can’t keep up and making decisions on something that takes time means you should take time to make decisions. I am pissed off.

      • Hyperion

        Let’s put it this way. If you get some cold like symptoms, I mean unless you are really really sick, would you be in any hurry right now to run to your nearest emergency room so that you can get quarantined?

        I wouldn’t. And even though you have a certain number of people who would do that, I don’t think most people will be too anxious to go there.

  10. Sean

    Bring bacon and bourbon.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “Come with groceries if you want to live.”

    • commodious spittoon

      Mars needs women bacon and bourbon.

      • Tres Cool

        M|A|R|S still needs women

  11. Crusty Juggler

    SIX POST-APOCALYPTIC REBELS (WHO AREN’T MAD MAX)

    Heston approaches the apocalyptic world as if it’s his personal shooting range, collecting an excessive number of firearms (although probably less than Heston’s own collection) and firing them wildly at anything that moves.
    Omega Man is drowning in totally wild, far-out ’70s coolness, with Heston hooning around deserted streets in a Ford Mustang, shooting guns, running over mutants with a motorcycle and making out with afro-haired hottie Rosalind Cash.

    Fuck yeah!

    • Count Potato

      I love that movie.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Obviously you’re kewl beanz.

    • Count Potato

      Paywalled.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Which means it’s good, el cheapo.

  12. Chipping Pioneer

    Now that the “curve” is “flattening”, people need to start pushing hard against the draconian measures that governments have put in place. They never should have happened in the first place, but I’m done. Back to normal. Wash your hands, cough into your armpit or whatever, wear a mask of you want. This has all been way overblown.

    Most of this shit is way beyond constitutional. I was looking at some douchebag lawyer’s website the other day. He said “Well, of course, the government has wide latitude to implement these measures in a crisis”. No. It. Doesn’t, asshole. It’s precisely during crises that our rights need protection. Tin pot dictators (like our local mayor, and like many other mayors – – autocorrected to maggot) come out of the woodwork during situations like this. This is when the woodchippers should be fired up 24/7.

    The police or bylaw, don’t remember, threatened to fine some guy over $700 the other day because he took his autistic kid to the park to kick a ball around on the grass. He didn’t want to play with him in the street because his kid falls down a lot. That bylaw shitstain should go in feet first.

    Some other guy, walking through the park by himself, got fined $2000 because he wouldn’t identify himself to the cops. A public health situation does not allow you to ignore our constitutional rights, Motherfuckers.

    • Rhywun

      Check your state’s laws. They all have some sort of emergency cower act.

      • Hyperion

        THEY DID SOMETHING! I HAD TO DO SOMETHING TOO!

        See where all that ‘somebody has to do something’, led to? To here. It may be the 2nd worst thing to ever happen to freedom besides ‘for the children’.

      • Tres Cool

        you forgot “believe all women”

      • Tres Cool

        Yeah, mostly written by lawyers that want to be empowered, they mostly follow the US constitution
        But since Im not a Constitutional “Scholar” like Obama…is there anything in the original document that says “well, if (x) happens, then we can do (this)”?
        Other than war, I suppose.

    • Hyperion

      I was surprised to see fat face leftover Bushtard AG, Barr, call the measure draconian today. They are. A broken clock is right twice a day.

      • Tres Cool

        A blind hog can still find a truffle.

      • Hyperion

        I can just see Barr right now, down on all fours sniffing around on a muddy hillside, with fellow hog jowels George Conway right behind him.

    • Urthona

      Honestly none of that is happening here in North Texas. Everyone’s just outside. I’d be really pissed off.

      we have 5 deaths out of a million people in my county right now.

  13. Crusty Juggler

    Bourbon day, champagne tomorrow, that’s what I always say.

    • straffinrun

      Por que no los dos equis?

    • Drake

      We had a couple of guys who would drive up to the perimeter of the First Marine Division base camp in Jan 1990 and blast an AK in our general direction. Our CO got mad and had a Dragon gunner kill it one day.

      • UnCivilServant

        You were using old muzzleloaders?

      • Chipwooder

        Almost all of the IDF attacks on Al-Asad when I was there in ’05-06 were from pickup trucks that had a few mortar tubes welded into the bed. They’d race up by the fence line, fire, and try to haul ass before a Cobra got airborne and smoked them.

        They rarely made it.

  14. Oy the Billy-Bumbler

    People in Michigan that own a vacation home must choose one home to stay at by the end of Friday and then can no longer travel between homes.

    • Crusty Juggler

      One house is enough. Pick one and stay in it. Their health doesn’t supersede mine.

      • Hyperion

        No one needs more than one home.

        /I’m Bernie Biden and I endorse this message

      • Crusty Juggler

        How come you got one home and I don’t got no home

      • Hyperion

        Some animals are more equal than others?

    • RAHeinlein

      People in Detroit are dying you racist!

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, what people in Detroit? they all died or left.

      • AlmightyJB

        They were dying before and no one gave a shit.

    • Drake

      Why?

      • straffinrun

        Put “FYT” before that and you got it.

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        The village president of elk rapids begged the governor to implement the restriction.

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        According to MLive.

    • Brett L

      Welcome to your 30 day trial of socialism, tovarish. Would you like to opt-in to our (short) lifetime program?

      • AlmightyJB

        Sweet:). If you’re in a Rambo movie it’s a handheld weapon:)

      • Tejicano

        The stuff A-JB was pointing out fits in a backpack so it can be ready to go with extra ammo and not stand out even in a crowd.

        However the semi-auto MG-42 does a better job against thin-skinned vehicles or establishing a perimeter around a high-point in the local geography.

    • Gojira

      While all those weapons look sweet and tacti-cool, I read on a lot of prepper sites that one should resist the urge to get fancy but uncommon and therefore hard to repair or find parts for weapons in a bug-out scenario. Stick to commonly owned guns in commonly found calibers.

      • Brett L

        I think the Mosin-Nagant has been dragged through more mud and shit than any gun in history, and as a bonus, you can shoot someone in the next county with it after doing so.

      • Gojira

        I thought the exact same thing till I watched this video series on WWI small arms by C&Rsenal on youtube that Warty recommended. They said that contrary to popular belief, the MN jams up like a motherfucker and is the worst of the WWI battle rifles. Blew my mind.

      • Tejicano

        I’ve always thought a real prepper should always have at least one steel framed percussion revolver, a couple thousand caps, bullet molds, and the rest of the accoutrements to keep it going. If/when everything else runs out you can always make gunpowder and bullets. If you read how those pistols really changed the equation when first used against American Indians you will gain an appreciation for their use as a weapon.

      • Gojira

        I have a revolver, but not all the other stuff. I did make sure to get one that fires 9mm parabellum so I only have to source & carry one type of very common & light weight ammo (other pistols being semis also in 9mm)

      • Jarflax

        I had always heard that the Mosin was trash. That was the common wisdom up until very recently when they got popular for some reason. I’ve never owned one or fired on, so I don’t have any first hand knowledge.

      • Gojira

        The Finns refinished a lot of them & made them passable, but that’s about it.

      • Tejicano

        What do you mean? The Mosin-Nagant came with a lifetime guarantee!

      • Jarflax

        I remember when you could buy a Mosin for the price of 2 extended magazines for my 1911. My gun store had a rack of Mosins from $50 up to $99 for the nice ones. That was maybe 15 years ago.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, they’re not still in that price range? What happened?

      • Jarflax

        I dunno. Lol, as I said I always looked at them as trash, and do not understand why people buy them. I like well made guns.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was within my price range, and hit where it was pointed.

      • Jarflax

        Sorry, I meant I don’t understand why people pay $400 for them. At under a $100 I completely understand it.

      • Tejicano

        And within the range of sizes which the human being fall it’s pretty much one size fits all. Follow up shots usually not necessary.

      • UnCivilServant

        I spent $79 on my Mosin, then $79 to have a gunsmith clean up the mechanism to cycle it cleanly.

      • Plinker762

        I think I paid about $99 for my SKS back in ’86.

      • Not Adahn

        To be fair, those blowback 9mms have few parts to break, and the ARs have oodles of parts everywhere that matters.

      • UnCivilServant

        I will not be fair to a 9mm.

  15. straffinrun
    • AlmightyJB

      Fake. Didn’t blame Trump.

      • Hyperion

        You didn’t hear about how Trump ordered parachute manufacturers to close?

    • westernsloper

      Some people like skydiving.

      • straffinrun

        “Sorry, bud. We have to practice social distancing.”

      • Sean

        ?

        Wow.

      • Gender Traitor

        Holy Mother of Pearl.

        I prefer the shots that don’t emphasize just how quickly they’re plummeting toward Earth. A very, very hard-looking Earth.

      • Sean

        Terminal velocity puts that speed at ~120 mph

      • Festus

        Fast enough for a bug-splat, judging by the video evidence from 9/11 that seems to have been somehow misplaced on the internet. Not that I’d ever care to watch that again.

  16. Crusty Juggler

    The Nice Guys (2016):

    The most underrated movie of the last ten, if not twenty, years.

    • AlmightyJB

      So it finished last?

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Or sometimes not at all.

    • AlmightyJB

      Decent reviews. I’ll have to add it to our list.

    • commodious spittoon

      Better than The Other Guys??

      • commodious spittoon

        I mean: More underrated than The Other Guys??

    • Hyperion

      Damn, a film made in the past decade that wifey and I have not watched. How did that happen? Thanks!

    • Chipwooder

      I can agree with you there. Love that movie and hardly anyone has seen it.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        It is a top notch comedy.

        “OK–which one of you cock and balls wants to make twenty dollars?”

        Classic Crusty!

  17. straffinrun

    Complete the following:

    People on FB virtue signalling about how they have dutifully followed the rules to stay inside, should _________________________________.

    • AlmightyJB

      Not vote.

    • Tundra

      get the reward they so richly deserve.

      Steve.

    • Mad Scientist

      fuck right off

    • Q Continuum

      Engage in coitus with a saguaro.

    • Hyperion

      Not reproduce.

    • straffinrun

      teach me how to use a comma. *Sigh*

    • RAHeinlein

      Self-immolate

    • westernsloper

      Do whatever the hell they want and not tell me to do anything I don’t want to do?

      • Hyperion

        Now you’re just being silly.

    • topnotchtoledo

      Stay there

    • AlmightyJB

      Probably won’t be the last time that happens.

    • Hyperion

      Trump and Putin rule the world from their lair under a volcano in the hollow moon. Sharks with laser beams on their head? Duh!

    • Gojira

      *edit* This reply was meant for upthread. Squirreled!

      • commodious spittoon

        You can ask for edit fairy relocation!?

    • Q Continuum

      Says the asshole who jacks off each time unemployment goes up.

      • straffinrun

        That guy is the ultimate party hack. Always has been.

    • Gustave Lytton

      RIP Linda Tripp

  18. Plinker762

    Since we are still been getting occasional snow storms in the mountains, my social distancing has been driving an hour or two and going snowmobiling. I even pass a few signs saying “Stay home and save lives.”

    For work, I sent my shop guys home but I still go in to the office every day. I have a few customers still buying and I can’t afford to say no. Next week I’m bringing at least one guy back. I suppose we are a non-essential business according to WA gov. but not according to stomach.

    I also applied for a “Paycheck Protection Loan” because if they are going to hand out “free” money, I’d be dumb to not try and get some.

    • Hyperion

      I find is sort of odd how we have governors in sparsely populated states ordering these lockdowns.

      But that also makes me remember something I was reading about the Spanish Flu pandemic. Apparently, people in remote isolated villages in places like Alaska died in relative percentage to densely populated areas, even though they had no contact with the outside world. How is that possible? Or was that a totally different sort of virus?

      • Gustave Lytton

        They weren’t really completely cut off?

        Spanish Flu was influenza, just like modern flu, just a worse strain variant (out of the H1N1 family).

      • Hyperion

        I still remember one starry eyed liberal acquaintance of mine (true blue proggie), telling me about how she’d went to this lecture by one of her woke heroes and it was entitled ‘living with the animals’. She was all starry eyed.

        After she finished, I said ‘We tried that once and we got Smallpox and Bubonic Plague’.

        She rolled her eyes as usual.

      • Plinker762

        And we still get the flu from them.

      • Plinker762

        Mail? Trade goods?

        I worked at a company that had engineering drawings from the 1910s. Once and a while I would think “can I catch some old disease from these?” Not that I really thought I would but it would make an interesting story.

    • westernsloper

      It’s your money anyways take all you can get.

  19. straffinrun

    I’m willing to alter this meme if you have a better idea.

  20. Ownbestenemy

    Out by the firepit…sippin a beer and listenin to some tunes. My own American paradise

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thinking of teaching the kids either Euchre or Hearts. We tackled spades last week.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Imma gonna call fake.

      • Hyperion

        Unfortunately, I seriously doubt it is fake.

      • Rhywun

        Isn’t that the same crazy bipolar chick who lied about “being forced to work without a face mask”?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        No (discount Instagram model is named Imaris, because, of course she is), and that means there’s at least 2 nurses like that.

    • Hyperion

      This really is not so far beyond attacking people in restaurants because of politics.

      Not surprising at all. Almost all of this sort of hatred driven by the media.

    • Tundra

      Seriously.

      Lamp posts.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I used to drive a road exactly like that across the Valle Grande on the way to work.

        Then there was I-15 in southern Idaho on our way to Thanksgiving last year.

      • Tundra

        Keeps your driving skills sharp, though!

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        In northern Utah there were a bunch of cars that had flown off of the road. We joked, “Speed limit says 80, I’m going 80”. Seemed to get better as we went north.

      • Tundra

        Yeah, we ignore speed limits when the conditions merit.

        Both high and low.

    • commodious spittoon

      already dwindling honeybee population in the U.S.

      Wait, what? I’m pretty sure that’s another bullshit hypesteria.

      • Tundra

        We sure harvested a shit-ton of honey at Fourscore’s.

      • Urthona

        What’s funny is that honeybees aren’t even indigenous. here in North America. They are an invasive species.

      • Jarflax

        They are a deliberately imported species. An invited guest not an invader.

      • Hyperion

        Like Dandelions.

      • Tundra

        And Asian chicks.

        Yum.

      • Hyperion

        Only Asian Chicks don’t fuck up your lawn and you’re not unaware you can eat them.

      • Tundra

        You sure!

      • Tundra

        You sure?

      • Urthona

        You sure.

      • Tundra

        You, sure.

      • BakedPenguin

        Depends on the Asian chick Hyp.

      • Urthona

        High-tech workers shouldn’t be given preferential treatment.

        They should go back to their filthy Eurotrash beehives.

    • Hyperion

      I think I need to tell you the same thing I just told my wife.

      Stay off the internet.

    • Plinker762

      Shelter in Place!

    • Lady Z

      Asian hornets?

      Racist.

  21. Hyperion

    You’ll know it when the end times, as we would know it, have truly come.

    There won’t be any more real summer. There will be a start to spring, and then all the leaves will fall off the trees again.

    I think this is also known as an ice age or mini-ice age? Or some sort of interruption of the interglacial warming, like the Younger Dryas?

    When that happens, we’re fucked. Otherwise, only government can fuck this party up.

    • Hyperion

      “When that happens, we’re fucked. Otherwise, only government can fuck this party up.”

      And oddly, they’ve already tried to cancel Spring, and they will surely cancel Summer if we put up with it.

      • Plinker762

        Can’t have people outside getting exposed to UV. That shit is deadly.

      • Hyperion

        Vitamin D is bad, mmkay?

      • LemonGrenade

        As long as the campsites themselves don’t cancel my reservations, I’m showing up everywhere as scheduled. I paid for that shit in advance, I’ve been planning it for months, and I am not ready to give it up yet. It’s not like it’s an activity that involves large crowds in the first place, and restricting it was dumb.

      • Hyperion

        I must report thee, comrade! For your own good!

      • KSuellington

        We also have a couple campsites reserved for this summer and I am going to be fucking pissed if they try and cancel that.

      • LemonGrenade

        I keep seeing the people trying to up the ante: “we might need to keep people locked in their homes until we can set up a national tracking program” and even my extremely law-abiding husband is all “oh no you won’t.” I think the general public will start to rebel before too much longer, especially when bodies aren’t piling up in the streets like everyone claimed.

      • KSuellington

        Yes indeed. I hope to see more people disobeying as this thing drags on. Fuck these tyrants and their overblown hysteria.

      • LemonGrenade

        That’s one thing I especially appreciate about my husband; whenever I’m ready to give up and give in to authoritarianism, he helps me course correct. I was ready to say the gov would be right to order shutdowns in certain circumstances, say 50% of us were dead, and he was adamant. No, the government should be able to warn us of dangers, but the idea that we could shut down a state should be entirely off the table. You can see why I’m proud to be approaching 15 years married to him.

      • KSuellington

        Give him a hug, the man is gold. Lucky lady, and he is as well.

  22. Playa Manhattan

    Worst weather ever.

    • straffinrun

      Sunny and cool.

    • KSuellington

      Global cooling has been hitting California pretty bad. How you holding up with the homeschooling and cowering in place Playa?

      • Playa Manhattan

        Hanging on by a thread. Wife turns 40 on Sunday. We booked a beautiful VRBO in Palm Desert with its own pool. Of course, they cancelled yesterday, and we were supposed to leave today.

        As soon as this weather is over…. it’ll be better.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Huh…had a VRBO in Corpus (with its own hot tub) for anniversary stay in 2 weeks, but, we ended up cancelling. Still waiting for the refund to go through.

        Anyway–sorry you had that happen.

      • KSuellington

        I felt like I was hanging on a thread yesterday evening, the past month got to me. I had a materials fuck up on my only big job. It really has been a worst nitemare scenario. Everyone’s lives upended. Over something that looks like it was massively overblown. It’s ludicrous.

        Tonite I am feeling vastly better, even after saying that. For whatever reason. This is going to come to an end, we need to be ready.

    • Hyperion

      We had this weird weather effect today where it came like a gale of wind. Only a second before it was completely calm and it was only slightly cloudy.

      It seems the jet stream was directly above us at the time.

      I’ve never seen anything exactly like that before, it was really weird.

      • CPRM

        I’ve never seen anything exactly like that before

        With Global Warming the weather is always going to be something you’ve never seen before, like boiling oceans and burning skies!

      • Hyperion

        Sure.

        It’s like the one time many years ago I was fishing with one of my fishing buddies.

        It was one of the most beautiful calm sunny days I remember in my life. We’d been out fishing all day, for hours.

        We stopped at a little local bait shop, which was closed, because it was Sunday, because my friend wanted to see if he could get a coke, because they had machines.

        So I pulled up there and he got up, walked up to the machine.

        I wasn’t paying attention and then I heard this strange noise, like a sort of distant roaring sound, like a jet plane only not quite the same.

        It kept getting louder and then objects started landing on my windshield and the hood of my truck, like leaves and twig and gravels.

        That’s when I looked towards my friend and saw him looking back behind where I was parked.

        More objects started raining down on my truck. Looked again at my friend and saw him staring wide eyed behind me.

        That’s when I turned around to look behind me and I see this monster dust devil coming down the field behind me, right at us.

        I swear, I could feel my truck moving and I saw my friend cowering down and the roof of the bait shop looked to be lifting off itself.

        In a moment it was all over in a swirl of dust and noise and debris flying everywhere.

        Then I saw my friend walking back to the truck. He was all covered with dust and sticks an leave sticking in his hair.

        He opened the door and said ‘Did you see that fucking shit. It was a tornado! It almost killed me!’

        I was laughing my ass off. He didn’t think it was funny.

        So, not the only weird weather event I’ve seen. Just the most recent one.

      • Rhywun

        We had thunderstorms this morning. I was like… WTF?

  23. CPRM

    Been watching Tacoma FD on demand, kept forgetting to DVR it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its good silly fun. The right amount of their comedy without rehashing their movie humor.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t know that movie (Super Troopers?).

        PS. The “Talkoma” chats are fun too.

      • CPRM

        I was checking IMDB to see which other Lizards had a part in the show, found out have Super Troopers 3 listed. I know Super Troopers is their best known, but IMO it’s only their third best.

    • Rhywun

      I happened on a marathon the other day of season one. I was pleasantly surprised – it’s very good. I am now DVR’ing the new eps.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Pfft…been DVRing it since last year, bruh.

      I do enjoy it, but, wish they would go juuuust a bit further, wrt cussiness, etc.

      Rhy: you don’t know Super Troopers??? Get the that movie, stat! It’s a “stoopid cops” movie that even the cops love.

      • CPRM

        I saw the ads before it started airing, but it wasn’t on the schedule yet so I couldn’t set the DVR, then I forgot. The first rando place on the internets that I started to regularly interact with other randos was the Broken Lizard message board…eventually ended up at TOS and then here.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        then I forgot

        Yeah, it’s one of those ‘unfortunate’ kinds of shows (to me)–small enough, and maybe just niche enough that it kinda slips from memory. Unless it’s currently showing, of course.

      • CPRM

        Well, Tru TV, I don’t regularly check their listings.

      • Rhywun

        I’d never heard of that channel but good thing I saw the ads on TBS.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, it used to be CourtTV. Most of the time it’s COPs re-runs or Impractical Jokers, it’s a shitty show that’s been going on for almost a decade.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        You watch your who–keep it together; keep it together; keep it together….

      • CPRM

        My dad used to watch it…and he died! What does that tell you!? I’m just trying to protect you bro!

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Oh, shit…..!

        ::buries IJ movie::

      • LemonGrenade

        We’re already pulled over! We can’t pull over any further!

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I’ll check it out some day.

  24. DenverJ

    My favorite part is how the courts are shut down due to an abundance of caution. Yup. The courts are shut down, while the various executive branches keep trying to one-up each other on tyrannical edicts.

    • Rhywun

      Damn. Snap!

    • Chafed

      Nicely done.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Fire is dying down and I must go and dance with my wife. Thank god for this place to have an outlet to all this madness.

  26. Michael Bluth

    I can’t decide if I’m more annoyed with the “Mother Gaia is healing” internet posts or the straight up envy posts.

    Also, given the economic conditions, wouldn’t you do everything you could to keep your job? We canned our receptionist this week, for cause. It seems she was taking advantage of the corona to say she was “sick” and then when we said we required a doctor’s note, she was too scared to go to the doctor. Good help is hard to find.

    • CPRM

      Are you allowed to go to a doctor if you don’t have Cerveza? Even before shutdowns here they were canceling ‘non-essential’ (like psychiatric appointments, worthless stuff like that) visits.

      • Michael Bluth

        I think if you tried, even a little, you could make it to a doctor, as others in the office have been since we requested the note. I don’t think the doctor’s offices want anyone with the plague in their offices, so they’ll send you to a test site. Her complaint was “stomach flu” and progressed to higher levels of trying to save her skin. This wasn’t her first time with attendance issues, or we would have been more understanding.

    • LemonGrenade

      I want to punch every single person who posts the ‘mother gaia is healing’ shit right in the fucking mouth. Mother gaia was fine, and there are people starving based on nothing more than stupid government edicts. Regarding your receptionist, glad you canned her. I know a lot of people facing pay cuts or unemployment right now through nothing more than government orders and would be more than happy to see one of them take her job.

      • Michael Bluth

        They are shockingly tone deaf. If I have to choose between saving my business and keeping food on the table or seeing animals or the mountains, I’m going to choose the former.

        Like I said, she was on thin ice before all this went down and to do this after we tried to scramble to save her job was just beyond the pale. I mean, I know it isn’t the best job out there, but showing up is a large part.

      • LemonGrenade

        TBH that’s a large part of any job. Dependability is highly underrated.

      • KSuellington

        Can’t blame you, that sounds like something I wouldn’t want to hear. Over the past couple weeks I’ve done jobs for three businesses that I do not think will make it. Fuck those green bullshit dreams. I’m still holding some hope that this puts a damper on the climate idiocy. I know that’s a long shot,

  27. Juvenile Bluster

    I really should’ve gotten stoned tonight. Bah. Never going to fall asleep.

    • LemonGrenade

      My alcohol and happy consumption have both gone way up since the whole panic in place has started, but I haven’t gotten any more sleep at all. I don’t even have to get the kids onto the bus any more, so why am I waking up so early? I’m there with you.

      • Florida Man

        My sleeps all over the place doing random shifts and drinking more than usual.

    • KSuellington

      It’s never too late to smoke one.

  28. CPRM

    Now that I know the news from the morning I can sleep in, thanks Mex.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Inorite?!

  29. Florida Man

    BRING BACK GOOD FRIDAY LYNX!!!

  30. mexican sharpshooter

    Obviously, I write the links the evening before. They’ll be the same tomorrow morning.

    Carry on.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Don’t have to wait three days for them to reappear? It’s a miracle!

    • Rhywun

      Ripped from yesterday’s headlines!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Thats it, next time you get Spanish links.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Only if it has a Mexican tv presenter.

      • Rhywun

        Dios mio.

      • Tejicano

        ¡Ondale pues!

      • CPRM

        Tengo un gato en mis pantelones

      • mexican sharpshooter

        You may want to seek medical assistance for that.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Well, some kind of assistance, sure.

      • CPRM

        Mexi is just jealous of my prowess.

      • KSuellington

        Eso si que es.

    • CPRM

      So, everything we posted is nuked? Including those nudes of Hope Hicks I had just linked?! Damn!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        That will be resurrected

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      It’s as if a couple dozen comments cried out–and then, were silent.

      • CPRM

        Poor McGinty’s wood.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Excellent:

        * band name
        * album name
        * pub/bar name

      • I. B. McGinty

        I vote for pub.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Hear, hear!

      • CPRM

        I agree on pub; but to be a proper Glib venture ones small change: Poor McGinty’s Would Pub, Grill and Orphanage.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        C’s not wrong…

      • Tejicano

        Yeah. Me too.

        What was the question?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Something something Brett Kavanaugh…

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      It’s wot they do, M8.

  31. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    Neph said he posted the link for the next vid chat…anyone know where it is?

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      NM–found ’em.

    • CPRM

      It was like monday mid-day. I’m hoping he’ll post it again, because I didn’t bookmark or anything.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        In the last post, akshul…I just did a word search on his name, and it was the first entry

      • CPRM

        well, I haven’t been on here all day. He did post it earlier in the week as well.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        You and me both–such is the white man’s peach-hued person’s burden.

        I can email them, if you end up needing.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I found the material I was thinking of (samples), and actually found what I thinks will be a good piece.

  32. salted earth

    Comment 30 on Thursday’s afternoon links.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      What tulpa s. e. said….

    • CPRM

      Are you iodized?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Dude…! You don’t go around, asking salt questions like that.

        Just stare at the zipper area–you’ll be able to tell.

      • CPRM

        I’m not good at social cues.

      • salted earth

        Umm…

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Just go with it. Makes life easier around these parts, at night.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        ?

      • salted earth

        I’m mostly disappointed in myself for not having a witty reply.

      • CPRM

        Happens to the best of us, well not me, but other guys my age I hear.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Witty? At night…around here?? Naw, mate; you got the wrong spices.

      • KSuellington

        Iodized, lionized, sometimes fetishized or terrorized.

    • Mad Scientist

      WANT!!!!

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        C’mon, man–she’s ma-Oh! The laser…. Riiiight.

    • CPRM

      You saying she had that laser cellulose removal? You’re such a pig!

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        I’m saying she can flay the rust off of steel in mere seconds. And, that doesn’t bode well for anyone who crosses her path, and has fleshy bits they want to protect.

      • CPRM

        In that case OMWC better hope she doesn’t help SP upgrade her tin can lid collection.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        This is true.

        ::shudders::

  33. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    Hey!–the new Freedom Toons has….oh, right.

    • CPRM

      ASshole!

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Ooooooh…that’s IS low, bruh! ?????????

  34. straffinrun

    Why am I just figuring out that this place isn’t the Twitter thing all the kids are talking about?

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      It’s the lack of Bernie Bros…it can take longer to process when it’s a lack of something.

      /wait til he hears about this TikTok thing…

    • KSuellington

      A hundred some odd characters.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Hmmm….story checks out!

      • straffinrun

        Hi yo!

  35. straffinrun

    Every comment was in bold for a couple seconds. WordPress glitch?

    • KSuellington

      Are you saying we were emboldened?

      • straffinrun

        Emhihndened.

      • KSuellington

        Ay, ay, ay. Why’s everyone got to shout? Can’t we maintain some civilization?

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Yeah, this one is gonna be interesting, to say the least.

      Bad, awful move for LU. Also, how can there be a warrant for trespassing, if they hadn’t been warned/served a notice of trespass prior? Or, had they, and they violated it? Doesn’t seem like that.

    • KSuellington

      In a better world from ours, Liberty University would not be run by Jerry Falwell Jr. and would stand for maybe a bit of Liberty. It’s in your name for crissakes.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Right? If there is some malfeasance on the part of the reporters, why wouldn’t a lawsuit do? I know it’s difficult to win against reporters, but, it can be done.

    • I. B. McGinty

      Can a university issue arrest warrants? I thought that was what the courts were for?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        They got a magistrate to sign off on it. They don’t really provide any details as to how this got to that point, other than that the two people came onto the campus.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Oh FFS

  36. UnCivilServant

    … 🙁

    I got this email from upper management asking for volunteers to help the Department of Labor process unemployment claims over the weekend.

    Not sure what the tasks are, but they apparently only require three hours of online training, and access to O365.

    This is the first time I’ve seen them ask people to do out of title work of this sort, as in for an entirely different agency. DoL isn’t even an agency I support in my official capacity.

    • UnCivilServant

      Oh, wait it does say.

      The volunteers will be making outbound calls to inform people that there’s a fuckton of backlog because the governor put so many people out of work.

      That requires three hours of training?

      • Sean

        I got nothing. *shrug*

      • Gender Traitor

        So….you wouldn’t actually be helping to ease the backlog. Just calling applicants (I presume, and not just state residents in general) and saying, “Hey! Guess what?? There’s a backlog, so don’t hold your breath waiting for those bennies.” I know if I’d been put out of a job by the state, a reassuring call like that would sure put my mind at ease.

      • UnCivilServant

        Though I’m sure the official script wil be full of unreassuring weasel words designed to avoid blame.

  37. Gender Traitor

    Midwest hippie enclave proves tie-dyed sheep are still sheep.

    Yellow Springs is a village that grew up around Antioch College, a liberal arts (read “grievance studies”) school first led by Horace Mann that for decades could best be described as a Baby Berkeley. The village is full of hippie dippie, crunchy groovy shops and restaurants and is definitely a walking-around community.

    When the restrictions are lifted, Yellow Springs will be ready and in position to welcome back folks to enjoy the shops, restaurants, and trails we all love”, said Salmeron.

    How many of those establishments are going to survive an extended lockdown? But, like, economics is just a concept, man!

    • UnCivilServant

      Here I was thinking it was about people who’d marked the fleeces of their flock in a grooovy pattern… presumably discovering that this wouldn’t change the behaviour of the ewes.

      • Gender Traitor

        Fun fact*: Ombre yarn comes from tie-dyed sheep! You can trust me on this, I’m a knitter/crocheter, and my sister is a literal spinster (as in she literally spins yarns) and a weaver!

        *Disclaimer: not an actual fact

      • UnCivilServant

        They grow sheep with acrylic wool? Will wonders never cease.

        😀

      • Gender Traitor

        If the flock gets caught in the rain, they don’t shrink!

      • UnCivilServant

        Now I have visions of miniature, pre-shrunk sheep.

      • UnCivilServant

        What are the odds the cop coughed on everyone but only got ‘investigated’ for those incidents?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Dunno, maybe 80/20. It’s not like some cops aren’t racist.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m going with the higher probability assumption of “Cop is asshole” until proven different.

      • Trigger Hippie

        That’s fair, just saying it’s not unheard of for some people to join a force so they have an opportunity to fuck with minorities. I ran into a couple guys from my hometown a few years who became cops. Despite what we’ve become as adults we were friends as kids and had a decent chat. Right up until they started sharing their cop stories. The glee in their eyes as they were telling me about “this one dumb spic was..” or “I told the nigger… ” was offputting to say the least. Granted, they were from a small town in Missouri, not Baltimore. Then again, some the biggest racists I’ve ever met were from Boston.

        *shrugs*

      • Festus

        We had kids like that in high school. They were shunned and called “The Cadets”. Jerk-wads to a man.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘How many of those establishments are going to survive an extended lockdown? But, like, economics is just a concept, man!’

      And if they do survive the lockdown, how many people outside Yellow Springs are going to spend their remaining money on what I’m assuming(since it’s a hippie town)are mostly overpriced/more expensive mom and pops?

      • Gender Traitor

        How much value has your Birkenstock portfolio lost YTD?

      • Festus

        I’m still pining for the “Earth Shoes” that my groovy fifth-grade teacher wore.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Birkenstock, ha!

        My attitude and general appearance is far from hippie, heavy on the trigger. 😉

    • Festus

      Uh-Oh… Is that link to that Aussie chick that knits from her cootch?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Worse, Ohio.

      • Festus

        ^ha!

    • AlmightyJB

      Dave Chappelle lives in Yellow Springs. Nice state park nearby John Bryan. I once worked with a chick from Antioch. Very naive girl.

  38. Festus

    Hey GT and the rest! Howya doin’? Internet has turned spotty here what with the panic and all. If I join up tonight expect interruptions. Like hourly everything shuts down for ten minutes. Stupid panicdemic.

    • Gender Traitor

      As long as you’re using that magnificent mood lighting! (I’m thinking of digging up some cool Leon Redbone links just for you!)

      Hope you’re no longer feeling the effects of your little hazmat incident.

      • Festus

        Nah, I’m good. If 30 ciggies a day can’t off me I should be golden. Thanks for your concern! And yes, the “mood lighting” will be present. Maybe even Judi!

  39. Sean

    So, since schools will be shuttered for ~ 30% of the school year here, how do I get a refund on my taxes?

    • UnCivilServant

      No Refunds. What do you think this is, a business?

    • Rhywun

      You’re not doing “distance learning”?

      • UnCivilServant

        I guarantee the kids are learning more the greater their distance from the union teacher.

      • Festus

        The kids used to call “Professional Development” days “Teacher Whack-off days”.

  40. Sean

    To you business managing/owning glibs, I recommend reaching out to your local SBA office. I have recently and she has been helpful and provided additional info on local grants available.

  41. Festus

    You’ll simply apply online and when the paperwork shows up fill it in triplicate then visit your friendly Center and be told that there is another form and would you please move along to the back of the line. It’s the Mobius Strip of the bureaucracy. After awhile you’ll get too dispirited to even care that you’re walking in circles anymore.

    • Festus

      Reply to Sean. Fucking stacking. How does it work?