The Night Shift for April 18, 2020

by | Apr 18, 2020 | Daily Links, Fun, Night Shift | 100 comments

This COVID $#!&* is getting old.  In fact, I’m beginning to see why so many of you like Fall more than Spring.  Well, at least we have each oth-Hey, hey; get back here!!  SMDH…  People are getting antsy, but, not enough, IFYKWIM—too many people begging for government salvation, and too few begging for impeachments, recalls, and jail time.  Maybe we can laugh at some of our betters.  Let’s see:

 

Laugh?  I want to throw the guy a party!  Oh….

Now, I won’t laugh at the salespeople—I want them as friends.  The others, though?  A-ha-ha-ha, bitches.

In the multiple choice version of Laugh-In, ‘All of the Above’ in the correct answer.

As it turns out,  not everyone was loving it.

A blonde, mulleted man was seen lurking nearby.  Hehehehehe…”kinkajou”.

You obviously meant, “about-face mask.  Alright, fine—don’t laugh!

I don’t even know where to begin with this bullshit.  Yeah, you can argue that it’s what she gets, by virtue of being a cop.  Still the utilitarian arguments, along with the, “You don’t understand, but, you’re still guilty” attitude, kinda explains why they all deserve gales of derisive laughter.

Possible vacation spot detected.  Prague!   I was talking about Prague….

“Honestly, officer—we were just minding our own business…”  Not saying it’s necessarily right.  But, I understand.

 

Nah—no music this week.  It’s the Queen Mum’s birthday today (as I mentioned last week), and I couldn’t find anything relevant to it, that I liked enough to share.  So, post your own, ya bums.  Probably won’t have a Night Shift next weekend, due to an anniversary vacation stay-cation (I hate myself for even writing that).  Then again, I might—don’t really know, yet.  So you may have to entertain yourselves.  But, is that really any different than any other week?  See ya!

About The Author

Sir Digby Classic

Sir Digby Classic

My goal is to make every social interaction awkward.

100 Comments

  1. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    I’m around, but dear old mom’s health drama (on her birthday, no less) has given me a fantastic headache. So, I’ll be more lurking than anything.

    Enjoy–smoke ’em if you got ’em.

    • LemonGrenade

      Hope your head feels better. I definitely smoked ’em.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Thank ya kindly.

  2. Rhywun

    I don’t even know where to begin with this bullshit. 

    You found the ultimate I-hate-everyone-in-this-story story. Congratulations!

    • Chafed

      I have a twinge of sympathy for the former commander. After that, yeah, they are all awful.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        It appears COVID killed any and sense of nuance.

        Nah–assholes never had it, and revel in their ignorance.

  3. topnotchtoledo

    It only took a pandemic to get me out of my shell. And I bought a rifle with my Trump bucks. My libertarian bonafides are unassailable. What have you assholes done with your lives?

    • LemonGrenade

      I’ve been referring to them as inflation bucks. And I’ve been working 12 hour days while I watch the businesses and jobs of my friends get destroyed, so I’ve been drinking a lot, too. But good on you for buying the rifle. The more of us are armed, the harder it is to completely oppress us.

      • topnotchtoledo

        Definitely drinking too much and already lost my albeit shitty job. Thinking about graduate school for the fall. We’ve destroyed the economy so might as well get a graduate degree of questionable value

      • LemonGrenade

        Sorry to hear that. Hopefully people will wake up soon and they’ll remember this was never the way we have responded to a viral outbreak and they’re being crazy. Or that you’ll find a new and better job, when you go looking.

      • topnotchtoledo

        Meh honestly it’s my fault for the position I’m in. Can’t blame anyone else.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Meh honestly it’s my fault for the position I’m in.

        I have to say that, in my head, your baby is actually the one doing the talking. It’s Look Who’s Talking, but, with much less Travolta.

        Bruce stays, though. Maybe Kirstie. Maybe…

      • topnotchtoledo

        Haha he’s 5 now. Still cute but not a baby

      • Gustave Lytton

        this was never the way we have responded to a viral outbreak in most people’s living memory.

      • LemonGrenade

        Personal opinion – and god knows I could be proven wrong – but the government should never have been in the business of shutting down entire industries. There’s a difference between a local mayor closing schools during an outbreak – or hell, not letting anyone but my husband into the hospital when my daughter was born (H1N1 panic) – and unilaterally deciding what counts as ‘essential’ or not. I believe that most of us could have gone about our daily lives while listening to warnings and taking basic precautions and been just fine.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, I agree. As screwed as my state is, the governor didn’t close so called non-essential businesses generally. She did close specific businesses though (dine in, gyms, hair salons/barber shops, and a couple others).

        The whole thing has been handled badly imo. Dishonesty and heavy handedness have been the hallmark throughout. Instead of educating and persuading people to do best practices, it’s been use a gun to force minimal grudging compliance (with the obvious consequence that many people are resentful and use any opportunity to flip the bird, regardless of whether that makes sense, leaving aside the question of what the true risk level is- which is another dishonest point that the authorities have no wish to accurately determine and publicize).

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Well, not that it’s only the (D)ickbgs, but–think about how leftists can never wrap their collective mind around having a gun without becoming a blood-thirsty murder-bot. That same, underlying, fear of their own failings causes them to expect the worst from their residents.

        Some do fulfill that prophecy, but, then again, they govern to the lowest common denom.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That too.

        What isn’t forbidden, must be mandatory.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        The big(ger) thng, to me, isn’t the gov itself, so much as our fellow Amerikans, who are actively clamoring to be ruled, and narcing on others. They get to vote, too, and will push to reward the heavy-handers. They will certainly vote against any kind of recall/impeachment, and make life that much more difficult.

    • Tejicano

      So what rifle did you buy?

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Dammit–I knew we were forgetting the important question…

      • Tejicano

        Yeah, I’m seriously interested. I have my own opinions but I don’t judge (publicly).

  4. Gustave Lytton

    Toxeth- saw your comment in the dead thread. I buy in the liquor store. It’s a fortified wine so not restricted to liquor stores, but i haven’t seen it elsewhere. It is the US domestic version. I dunno how different the Brit version is. Can’t get Brit version of Gordon’s either. First time I had it, i wasn’t that impressed but it’s grown on me.

    Wish I could get VAT 69 here too.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Merci. To Queen Elizabeth Sr! ??

  5. Plinker762

    Will a Chinese bar serve a negroni?

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    My Family ran out of weed four days ago, i had no idea Bella Loved Weed until today, weird but true,

    • LemonGrenade

      Now that is a real tragedy. Hope you find a resupply soon.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Thank ZarDoZ! Resupply!
        All is welll in the House of Yusef, Tonight,

      • LemonGrenade

        Sweet. Join me.

      • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

        Hey Yusef, have you had the privilege of trying the Tangie strain? I’m more of an indica guy myself, but seriously, the smell and taste of Tangie is world class.

    • topnotchtoledo

      Definitely drinking too much and already lost my albeit shitty job. Thinking about graduate school for the fall. We’ve destroyed the economy so might as well get a graduate degree of questionable value

  7. topnotchtoledo

    Definitely drinking too much and already lost my albeit shitty job. Thinking about graduate school for the fall. We’ve destroyed the economy so might as well get a graduate degree of questionable value

    • topnotchtoledo

      Sheesh

  8. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    I’m sure that individual stores are highly region-dependent, but:

    If you have access to Krogers grocery stores, and don’t normally shop there, I have found that they are doing relatively well on their stock availability. And, this is over the last several weeks, from a few stores around the DFW area.

    This is about the best I can do, assistance-wise for shopping.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They had a very portly well of talent for their pilots I guess.

  9. Cacciatore

    Ban me from this website

    • Tejicano

      ¿Que?

    • Shpip

      But then we’d lose our resident answer to the joke, “What was the favorite dish of the Patriots during the Revolutionary War?”

  10. dbleagle

    The county closed the beach to walking this morning. I was pissed seven ways to Sunday. In response I made ricotta stuffed calamari and now I am enjoying some PCP (port-chocolate-port) ,

    Tomorrow we will sail past their closed area. Fuck them all. This state is at an official 37% unemployment rate and they keep ratcheting down.

    • Shpip

      Do you include some chopped up tentacle and garlic in the ricotta when you stuff them? And how do you cook? I like them braised in wine.

  11. Cacciatore

    Ban me and scrub all my info from this site. Please.

    • Tejicano

      Can you elaborate? (I’d like to know it wasn’t anything somebody here did – and if it was I’d like to know what)

  12. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    Cacc…what’d you do??

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      What the hell did I do?

  13. Stinky Wizzleteats

    What’s the problem, amigo?

    • Shpip

      While it’s fashionable to shit on Buffett around these parts, I’ve been a fan for going on four decades now.

      Fun fact — the bearded guy on stage with him is Mac McAnally. Mac is a tremendous musician in his own right, having won the Country Musician Association’s Musician of the Year Award ten times. If you ever get a chance to see him, do so. It’ll be a small venue, tickets will be cheap, and he’ll stick around for hours after the show to chat, take pictures, sign autographs, etc. He hates the spotlight but he loves people.

      And in that vein, here’s one for all curmudgeonly misanthropes agitating to get your states and cities re-opened again.

  14. Chafed

    English dude with the broken door suddenly understands why we have the Second Amendment and Fourth Amendment.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Well…I hope he understands. But, yeah.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Heh! ?

  15. Cacciatore

    Waiting…delete my account or tell me how to do so.

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Cacc, if your really wanting this, can you let us know what the cause is? Speaking for me, if I did anything, I’ll gladly apologize and do what I can to make the situation right.

      • Cacciatore

        I want out.

        Nothing to do with you.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        🙁 Sorry, my dude. No idea if TPTB are around. I truly hope you come back sometime, and so do a bunch of others, from the looks of it.

      • Cacciatore

        I think it will be a net positive for me.

        Thanks, my friend.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Well, in any event, stay frosty. If you need anything, you can get in touch with me

        sir.digby.71

        pm.me

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Stay golden, friend. If you need anything, the Powers have my permission to pass along my email to you.

    • Chafed

      There is always the FOS route….

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      The man is funny. A funny, candy-ass commie.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Do you know who else thought certain people didn’t have it so bad?

      • Chafed

        FDR?

  16. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    Test

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      thought the issue suddenly fixed itself, but apparently not.

      • Chafed

        The WordPress gods must be appeased.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        Not with me…same shit issue.

      • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

        OK, I’m now italicising when i meant to strike.

        oy vey…

    • PieInTheSky

      this is why guns should be banned

    • Gustave Lytton

      New Jersey Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal and Colonel Patrick J. Callahan, Superintendent of the New Jersey State Police

      Those names wouldn’t make it past the greenest of script editors.

      • Sean

        Stan Lee disagrees

  17. Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

    Was trying to post something kinda related to Chafed’s post

  18. Gustave Lytton

    Been on a bit of a Momoko Kikuchi kick. Here she is fronting the short lived RaMu. My kingdom for a back catalog. Note to self- do not search Amazon JP for Ramu at work.

    https://youtu.be/OmbnLfIXbBI

    • Digby is still NOT a Naked Intruder

      Damn, I could not get a link to take, even when hyperlinking. It’s a conspiracy, I tells ya.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Blame WordPress. That always works for me.

  19. DrOtto

    Old joke Tundra and Pope Jimbo probably remember – Why are Minneapolis police cars faster than St. Paul police cars? Because they have 2 injuns (engines) in the trunk.
    Joke based off an incident of Mpls cops caught on video taking a couple drunk Indians out of their trunk into the detox in downtown Mpls. This was when camcorders were ginormous and hard to hide. Mpls cops just didn’t give a shit, they were (probably still) above the law. That shirt most likely was “misspelled” intentionally.

  20. DrOtto

    10 minutes since a comment. I’m calling it. I’m drunk and last!

    • Shpip

      I drank too much tonight, but I’m not drunk. And you’re not (yet) last.

      • Lackadaisical

        same here, I think I’ll quit trying to get a buzz, just doesn’t work without excesive drinking

  21. Festus

    Ban me! BAN ME NOOOOW!

    • Lackadaisical

      betcha can’t make me.

    • Fourscore

      Regrettably , our banh mi maker is not available. You’ll have to wait until 1100 AM when she comes to work but I can take your order. Will that be pick up or delivery? With extra peppers?

  22. Lackadaisical

    “I don’t even know where to begin with this bullshit. Yeah, you can argue that it’s what she gets, by virtue of being a cop. Still the utilitarian arguments, along with the, “You don’t understand, but, you’re still guilty” attitude, kinda explains why they all deserve gales of derisive laughter.”

    yeah, everyone’s the asshole in this story.

    :”posible vacation spot detected. Prague! I was talking about Prague….”

    what confuses me about this story. .. aren’t they landlocked? they’ve got nudist beaches on some dinky lake then? and isn’t it too cold anyway?

    “”Honestly, officer—we were just minding our own business…” Not saying it’s necessarily right. But, I understand.”

    I’m not sure I could convict if on the jury. depends exactly what was said.