Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Apr 23, 2020 | Daily Links | 373 comments

Hellooo out there in Glib land. Today may be the day my pregnant wife murders retroactively aborts our two extant sons and just decides to start fresh with the new one. I don’t blame them for their behavior, or her for her murderous urges. This is nuts. We gotta get out of this place.

Elizabeth Warren’s brother has died of coronavirus. Please be as kind and generous on this one as if she was a neighbor you tolerated and human being, not the embodiment of a political ideology you dislike.

Man look at that picture. Its like being in Oz looking back at Kansas.

Good news on that local to me’s car wash sanitation lawsuit.

 

This one goes out to AOC.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

373 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Elizabeth Warren’s brother has died of coronavirus. Please be as kind and generous on this one as if she was a neighbor you tolerated and human being, not the embodiment of a political ideology you dislike.

    No.

    • Drake

      I assume she slapped the cloroquine out of the doctor’s hand.

    • Tonio

      I don’t see why this is news, outside of Capitol Hill. Do we have to learn about the passing of every senatorial sibling? What about in-laws? Do congressmen get the same treatment for their relatives?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Famous (or not so famous) people have never died before.

      • Viking1865

        Propaganda. During the government shutdowns, the WaPo crisscrossed Fairfax County finding as many sob stories as possible.

        Do you think they’re crisscrossing Fairfax looking for people who’ve lost their “non-essential” jobs?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There’s not much that gets my blood boiling more than those shutdown sob stories. Every one of those whiny bastards gets paid. It’s just delayed.

        Never mind that it’s almost impossible to fire them at any other time and their benefits are gold-plated.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah some worthless GS-10 who does nothing but push paper gets a 2 week paid vacation THIS IS A HORRIBLE CALAMITY

        Guy who built a thriving business from the ground up ordered to close with no compensation “Well thats just one of those things, public healthy you know.”

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Yeah some worthless GS-10 who does nothing but push paper gets a 2 week paid vacation THIS IS A HORRIBLE CALAMITY

        To be fair, there was also a heartbreaking story about a biologist who lost her government grant and had to cancel her trip to Turks & Caicos to study sea turtles or seahorses or whatever.

      • Viking1865

        Ughh I remember that one. She was doing VITAL SCIENCE via a 3 month trip (in winter, naturally) to a tropical paradise for many many days of rigorous snorkeling and SCUBA.

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

      • B.P.

        This is a great point.

    • Agent Cooper

      I offer sympathy, but if you have seen the photos of him with her, you will understand why he was susceptible to the disease in the first place.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        why he was susceptible to the disease in the first place.

        Not a big mystery, we’ve known for hundreds of years that indigenous peoples are extremely susceptible to Old World diseases.

      • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

        And how.

  2. 23rd Century Temporal Boy

    He got to at least get away from the Cunte, unlike the rest of us..

  3. kinnath

    I will not make light of the death of Lizzie’s brother, until she makes it a public issue . . . . which will likely be any minute now.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      I’ll not speak ill of the Dead,
      / Unless they needed Killin’

    • Sensei

      My thoughts exactly.

    • kinnath

      I fully expect Big Chief Raging Cunte to use her brother’s death as a club against team Trump.

      And she should be vilified the moment she does.

      Her dead brother is not responsible for Lizzy.

      • Not Adahn

        Her dead brother is not responsible for Lizzy.

        Well no, the Scientist who created them both is.

    • Florida Man

      I don’t know the guy. If he stayed out of public life, he and his family should be left alone.

  4. Donation Not Taxation

    Michigan among three most restrictive lockdowns according to President Donald J. Trump. First case Michigan 10 March 2020. ‘The United States Census Bureau estimates the population of Michigan was 9,986,857 on July 1, 2019’

    Population Sweden 10,050,000 to 10,250,000. First case Sweden 31 January 2020. No lockdown.

    Michigan ~1,000 more Covid-19 deaths Sweden

  5. leon

    This one goes out to AOC.

    Huh… I expected this

    • Grumbletarian

      I figured this

    • Mad Scientist

      This seems appropriate.

      • Tundra

        Wow.

        Nice choice!

  6. Sean

    We can still bitch about the sidebar, right?

    • The Hyperbole

      Sure, if you want to be a grown-ass man behaving like a whiny bitch.

      • bacon-magic

        I tire of anyone trying to do my bacon schtick too.

      • The Hyperbole

        Ouch, but good one, bacon.

      • bacon-magic

        *hugs

      • Ted S.

        Shouldn’t that be *sizzles*?

      • UnCivilServant

        You see, he’s trying to make a Bacon-wrapped Hyperbole.

      • bacon-magic

        Sizzles is obviously a sexual innuendo. I’m not that easy Ted, you have to woo me.

      • Not Adahn

        He’s just trying to get The Hyperbole eaten by a bear.

  7. Shpip

    The business was one of many car washes that was forced to close after leaders deemed it non-essential. However, after an inspection by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office on Saturday, Woodie’s proved it can be an essential service, but only for essential workers.

    So what do I do, show them a business card before they’ll wash sanitize my car?

    • Florida Man

      Does no one remember Schindler’s List and the Jews claiming they were “Essential Workers”? I mean, it’s not a great look.

    • Viking1865

      “However, after an inspection by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office on Saturday, Woodie’s proved it can be an essential service, but only for essential workers.”

      We’re just rocketing toward a literal caste system.

    • one true athena

      So only doctors and nurses and grocery store workers get to wash their cars?

      How the hell does that make any sense at all?

      well, I guess it does if “inspection” equals “money changed hands” since we are rapidly heading into Third World Shithole status.

      • The Hyperbole

        Only doctors nurses and lobots have a hose, bucket and sponge?

    • Agent Cooper

      Our car washes are open in Ohio. The vacuums are not.

      • Not Adahn

        Well yeah, those things are like leaf blowers, just in a different direction!

      • Tonio

        That sucks.

      • westernsloper

        Sounds like they are hosed.

      • Ted S.

        If it were open, it wouldn’t be a vacuum any more.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Outrage machine goes up to 11

    Few elected officials may be doing more to openly play to the right wing’s antipathy to pandemic public-health restrictions than South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem.

    Noem has refused to issue a statewide stay-at-home order during the health crisis even after an outbreak at a pork processing plant in her state became a virus flashpoint; embraced the president’s favored coronavirus drug; and raised her profile as a national outlier despite concerns in and outside of her state.

    ——-

    Noem, a former member of Congress, is one of only a handful of governors to completely avoid statewide stay-at-home orders and has become the most public face among the nation’s few Republican holdouts along the way.

    Resisting statewide public-health measures has become a point of pride for a smattering of Republicans. Small rallies have appeared nationwide to challenge states to reopen during the pandemic, despite the coronavirus still taking a serious toll on the country. Trump has further stoked those sentiments in a call last week to “LIBERATE” three Democratic-led states with public-health restrictions.

    ——-

    At this point, both Democratic and Republican governors have largely moved to statewide stay-at-home orders of some sort. And even as some states begin to move toward re-opening, the threat of the virus spreading still looms.

    Meryl Chertoff, executive director of Georgetown Project on State and Local Government Policy and Law, said Noem’s response is not a good response given the clusters of cases.

    “This does not appear to be sound policy based on the guidance that has been coming from the CDC and from the president’s own coronavirus task force,” Chertoff said.

    Earlier this month, the South Dakota State Medical Association sent Noem a letter trying to persuade her to issue a shelter-in-place order, to no avail.

    Let’s throw every slanderous insinuation we can at her. Why, she might as well be out there murdering babies with an axe. No sane human could inflict such horrific hardship. Why hasn’t she been impeached?

    • leon

      Few elected officials may be doing more to openly play to the right wing’s antipathy to pandemic public-health restrictions than South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem.

      and by “Antipathy to pandemic public-health restirctions” you mean concern over civil rights infringements?

      • DrOtto

        Que Chuck Schumer at press conference concern trolling for states rights.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t see any discussion of actual results or individual rights in that tripe.

      • grrizzly

        At least they didn’t give her a Darwin award, like they give to the attendees of anti-lockdown protests, which is among the most retarded things to say.

      • Tonio

        One never does see them mention individual rights. We view rights as inalienable; they view rights as subject to restriction whenever there’s a panic of some sort, ie privileges not rights.

    • Agent Cooper

      0.0010% mortality rate across the state.

      OH NO!

    • Agent Cooper

      0.0010% mortality rate in South Dakota. These people are lunatics.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      an outbreak at a pork processing plant in her state became a virus flashpoint

      Wait, I thought it was a hotspot?

      Is flashpoint an upgrade or a downgrade from hotspot?

      • Ted S.

        If you put a flashpoint and a hotspot together you get a Hotpoint.

      • Mad Scientist

        Not a hot flash?

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        It’s whatever you need it to be, citizen subject.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I’m guessing they’ve never even been to South Dakota to see the wide open expanses.

    • cyto

      South Dakota is already socially distanced.

      They have 12 people per square mile.

      Manhattan has 71,000 people per square mile.

      Maybe they don’t need to have the same policies in place.

      • cyto

        Of course, that’s just the people who live there. During the work day that number balloons to 170,000 per square mile.

    • invisible finger

      “Why, she might as well be out there murdering babies with an axe.”

      That would make her a leftist then.

    • Ted S.

      Why is that inappropriate?

  9. leon

    After suing Pinellas County, car wash is now allowed to reopen — but only for essential workers

    I for one welcome our new essential overlords. But seriously, the politicians are seeding a lot of future enmity and civil strife by pulling this shit… Who am i kidding, thats what they want

    • kinnath

      Political hacks get to cut to the front of the line, cause they’re essential.

      • Translucent Chum

        See state of Michigan employees and unemployment line.

    • Rasilio

      Wait, they are essential so they *have* to go to work every day. Meanwhile the non essential get to sit at home and surf porn all day while they collect an unemployment check equivalent to more than a $30k a year salary….

      Which one is the overlord again?

  10. Not Adahn

    That picture makes me nostalgic.

    A trailer factory worker was killed when the twister struck.

    Huh, tornadoes are getting smarter. They’ve figured out to go after their hated enemies at the source.

    • The Hyperbole

      Careful that worker may be related to a politician.

      • Not Adahn

        In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a good idea for him to have made that facebook joke about having dirt on the CLintons.

    • westernsloper

      When I was trapped in OK I was driving up I-35 from Norman into OKC and watched a tornado travel the exact same path an EF5 had traveled just a few years before. (It leveled the town) Those things are fucking scary.

      • Not Adahn

        It is very interesting how often the same paths are taken by tornadoes. And the number of tornadoes that follow I-35 and I-44 are so high that there must be some connection. I’m assuming it’s something geographical that makes it a good route for roads also channels air in a prticular way.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m guessing the contours of the ground that make it easy to build roads make it easy for the wind.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’d wager the topography that makes it attractive for road building also make it attractive to weather patterns.

      • UnCivilServant

        Clearly, Tornados are attracted to pavement because they know they’ll find trailer parks nearby,

      • Not Adahn

        Back in my active charalatan days, I would have gone with somethng like this:

        “That route got hit with so many tornadoes that over the millennia all the topsoil had been sucked off and all that was left was exposed bedrock (this is similar to the process that lead to that whole Dust Bowl/grapes of Wrath situation by the way). This made it much easier to traverse by covered wagons that would get stuck in the mud elsewhere, so naturally it became the preferred routes. Wagon stops became towns along it, and once paving became a thing, it got added too. “

      • UnCivilServant

        So, tornados cause roads.

      • Not Adahn

        The best part was making up ever more elaborate stories and adding additional details until finally you’d get someone that wouldn’t believe it.

        One of the knives we were selling had an “urban camo” black and gray stripey pattern on the blade. The spiel eventually got up to:

        This is a classic Japanese blade finishing pattern made by wrapping the blade in zebra skin that has been soaked in green tea and oak gall, then pressed under heavy weights for a year. Because of the effort, it was reserved as a reward for extraordinary service to the Shogun, who kept a herd of sacred zebra in the Imperial Palace in the Forbidden City for just that purpose.

        The kid that finally balked said “but the Forbidden City is in China, not japan.”

      • UnCivilServant

        The kid that finally balked said “but the Forbidden City is in China, not japan.”

        Well, it is Now.

      • westernsloper

        You look at Moore’s tornado history and makes you wonder why the hell anyone lives there. It is a tornado magnet. Several EF5’s.

      • Trigger Hippie

        That’s funny. Despite living most of my life in the Midwest I’ve only seen a handful of tornadoes touching the ground up close and personal. Two of them where heading slightly northeast on I-35.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve never seen a tornado IRL at all.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It will definitely get your juices flowing.

        By that I mean you’re likely to wet your pants.

      • bacon-magic

        The calm right before it was freaking surreal and scary.

      • Mojeaux

        I have been in the calm and the sickly pea green. That shit’s scary.

        I have been close to where tornadoes hit. But the damage was relatively not bad.

        I have not heard the train nor have I seen the funnel.

        However, the first time a tornado siren started up in the middle of the night I freaked out. IME to that point (the point where tornado sirens were a thing), tornadoes didn’t happen in the middle of the night or else I never heard about it.

      • Mojeaux

        Okay, I have tried 5 different email clients today and not one of them gives me what I get from Thunderbird except Thunderbird is being an asshole.

        *headdesk*

      • RAHeinlein

        I grew up with tornadoes (off to the root cellar!). The first time my husband saw one was during grad school in Iowa – perfectly clear day, tornado sirens start blaring and he said “What to de we do now?” I took him by the hand and we went outside to watch.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Ha! That’s my girl!

      • Rasilio

        Saw a couple off in the distance while driving west on I40 in Oklahoma back in the late 80’s. Had 2 pass within a half mile of me in my Car when I lived in Atlanta about 2 year apart, one passed about a mile from my house in Louisville like 8 years ago and 3 years ago we had one pass about 1000 feet from the house with only minor damage here but it totally demolished the rec center at the church up the street but never actually saw any of the last 4 either because of darkness or torrental downpours that reduced visibility to under 10 feet.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Really? Damn. Granted, it’s been over ten years for me now(Southern Illinois) but I would have expected you would have seen one by now.

        Not even about fourteen years ago when one touched down around Pleasant Valley? Or the one in Liberty in ’03?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, that’s the one where I woke up to tornado sirens and freaked because it was in the middle of the night.

        Mr. Mojeaux was newly arrived from California so he was freaking out, so I tried to keep my freak-out under wraps.

        The second they started up, I rolled out of bed, grabbed the baby (XX) and said, “Down to the basement. Now.”

        I have never awakened that instantaneously before and certainly not with my head on straight. But my heart was pounding in my chest like a Neil Peart drumset. Anyway, we lived in south Liberty then (291 & Ruth Ewing) and the tornado hit the BP on Kansas/152 and 291.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Gotcha. The PV one nearly got my ass. I had just left my buddies house on the PV/Liberty border area and was heading south on I-35 when it hit. I was already fighting wind gusts coming off the storm when a particularly bad one slammed into my car as I was crossing the Paseo Bridge. My car almost lurched into the side railing. Scared the shit out of me.

      • Mojeaux

        You know what I hate about PV?

        It’s in the NKC school district. Winnetonka, to be precise.

        That’s as asinine as when Van Horn was in the KC school district.

      • Rhywun

        I didn’t see it but one woke me up in Brooklyn a few years ago. Tore the roof off some houses in the next block.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I remember you telling us about that. Freaking wild, isn’t it?

      • Rhywun

        Probably the only time in my life I was awakened by my ears popping.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        “only a handful”?

        No thanks. I’ll stick to earthquakes.

      • Not Adahn

        Bah. You can see tornadoes coming, you can outrun them, and you can shelter from them.

        None of which apply to erfquakes.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Yeah, never really been in one but the thought of what seems like the whole world shaking around like a ragdoll is pretty freaky.

      • Mad Scientist

        Familiarity breeds complacency. Midwesterners don’t get worked up about tornadoes. Florida Man doesn’t sweat hurricanes. And Californians find most earthquakes mildly amusing.

      • Rhywun

        I only lived in CA for a year but I was terrified of earthquakes for the first six months or so.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Even though there’s a fault line about 1/2 mile from my house, I’m not too worried. My house is on solid ground, it’s newer, it’s bolted to the foundation, and it doesn’t have a brick chimney. When I lived in the Marina district in SF the earthquakes felt like I was sitting in a bowl of Jello and you could hear the buildings hitting each other as they swayed. That was freaky.

      • DEG

        When I lived in central PA, one day some tornadoes came through. I didn’t think much of it.

        The next day, I was chatting with a guy who lived a couple places down from me when I got the mail. He said he was at a concert that day the tornadoes went through, and there was an announcement at the venue about having everyone to go to one part of the venue to shelter from the tornadoes.

        He said, “I’m from California. We never have tornadoes out there. I don’t know why anyone wants to live here!”

        Well, at that time I had been reading in the news about wildfires in California.

        I said to him, “How about them wildfires in California?”

        He glared at me and walked away.

      • DrOtto

        James Garner statue hardest hit.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Please be as kind and generous on this one as if she was a neighbor you tolerated and human being, not the embodiment of a political ideology you dislike.

    Perhaps someone can send her a nice blanket for comfort.

  12. leon

    My condolences to Warrens family.

    • R C Dean

      I got no beef with him or his family.

      If she shows the common decency to not use this for political gain, that would be nice.

      If she shows (again) her lack of common decency, I can and will criticize her for being so horrible that she will actually stand on her brother’s corpse for personal gain and a political agenda.

  13. commodious spittoon

    All this talk about limiting site visits in light of CoronAIDS… I wonder how receptive my bosses would find doing drone inspections from the office rather than flying engineers out to look at bolt connections and welds in person. I figure I could be a competent drone pilot.

  14. Ted S.

    I hope this from our old friend Fruit Sushi wasn’t posted in the Mourning Lynx.

    • Shpip

      That got a legit LOL from me.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “When your tire goes flat and you haven’t moussed.”

    • Tres Cool

      It should be a crime to keep those majestic locks under a hood….

    • Rhywun

      Poor thing.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Maxine Water’s sister is dying from the Kung Flu as well.

    Apparently the evil sisters are immune.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      If you were COVID, would you want to set up shop in either one of those two?

  16. Rebel Scum

    After suing Pinellas County, car wash is now allowed to reopen — but only for essential workers

    Most businesses only hire people that are essential.

    • commodious spittoon

      If they were essential they’d have at least a Master’s.

    • Not Adahn

      Like the Dean of Diversity and Inclusion? The Associate Provost for Gender Equity?

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Petition the government for redress of grievances? Not for you!

    Following Monday’s protest at the state Capitol where demonstrators defied Gov. Gavin Newsom’s orders banning large gatherings, the California Highway Patrol says it will no longer issue permits for events at any state properties, including the Capitol.

    “Permits are issued to provide safe environments for demonstrators to express their views,” the CHP said in a statement. “In this case, the permit for the convoy was issued with the understanding that the protest would be conducted in a manner consistent with the state’s public health guidance.

    “That is not what occurred, and CHP will take this experience into account when considering permits for this or any other group.”

    The peasants are revolting.

    • Not Adahn

      WI’s governor is also refusing to allow protests at the capitol.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They just need to beat down some capitalist pigs like in Portland then it will be A-OK.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Everybody’s Favorite Insane Asylum

    50,000 Deaths. . . .
    LBJ and Tricky Dick Nixon were in charge during the Vietnam War in which we lost approximately 58,220 Americans in 10 years (March 1965-April 1975). . . Through Pussy-Grabber’s narcissism, incompetence, ignorance, stupidity, and absolute lack of ANY empathy, whatsoever, we are at or above 50,000 deaths in roughly 5 weeks. I was no fan of LBJ and despised Nixon, but in comparison to what we have now, I would take either one of them in one second.

    I think a good number of people on DU are about my age, as my entire youth was affected by the carnage in Vietnam: both American and Vietnamese.

    WTF is this going to do to people? We have the worst POSSIBLE person in charge. I simply cannot THINK of anybody else who would be worse, honestly. Hell, my DOG would do a better job than Pussy-Grabber, as AT LEAST she could have smart peole make decisions for her. Pussy-Grabber won’t allow that, and Pussy-Grabber has nothing but fools, charlatans and ass-kissers around him. . .

    I am at work and have tons of shit to do, but I am sitting here, stunned, in front of my computer screen. 50,000 unnecessary American deaths. . . . Jesus Christ. And I have friends calling me from Europe asking what the FUCK is going on in this country? I cannot even answer that question.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      Why do you do that to yourself? That’s a lot of derp to process, my eyes bled after reading that,

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I have a specific mental sub-routine that bypasses the higher processes and directs derp to my lizard brain for appropriate parsing.

    • The Other Kevin

      Today Scott Adams said something like, “It’s easy to criticize Trump when you compare him to an imaginary president who can see the future and never makes mistakes.”

    • RAHeinlein

      Friends from Europe, really? Have they compared death rates – pretty much all above US except Germany.

    • leon

      You know how you know America is the greatest? No one calls over to Europe asking what the fuck is going on in their countries, cause we know they are all shitholes.

    • OBE #Learn2Essential

      These always amaze me…where was the hand wringing over auto deaths? Heart disease?

      Eh…If they had “loading….” they truly believe there would be zero deaths.

      You cannot reason with these people. #Learn2Essential #govcuomo

  19. Brochettaward

    “Top economist” launches tirade against Trump:

    In a withering attack on the president, Joseph Stiglitz said millions of people were turning to food banks, turning up for work due to a lack of sick pay and dying because of health inequalities.

    The Nobel prize-winning economist said: “The numbers turning to food banks are just enormous and beyond the capacity of them to supply. It is like a third world country. The public social safety net is not working.”

    Stiglitz, a long-term critic of Trump, said 14% of the population was dependent on food stamps and predicted the social infrastructure could not cope with an unemployment rate that could hit 30% in the coming months.

    “We were unprepared but, even given the degree of unpreparedness, Trump’s decision to make this about politics rather than about science has meant we have responded far more poorly.”

    Stiglitz said that if Trump were defeated in the presidential contest in November and the Democrats took control of both houses of Congress there was a chance of the US moving in a more progressive direction, but he warned Republicans would fight dirty in order to cling on to power.

    “There is voter suppression and gerrymandering. The Republican party knows it’s a minority party and there is a no-holds-barred struggle going on to make sure a minority party rules America.”

    “I hope we emerge from this with the perspective that multilateralism is even more important than we thought. It can’t just be a corporate-driven globalisation. We have to make it more resilient.’

    Nothing is going to breed more love of globalism than a global pandemic!

    Missing here is any sort of comparison between the US and all those lovely European countries.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      How about, it’s NPR? National Propaganda Radio

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Yeah, looks like a bunch of handwaving to me.

      “It couldn’t have escaped from the lab because labs have safety procedures.”

      So viruses have never escaped from a lab?

      “Well, there were three instances of SARS escaping from a lab a while back, but that’s because the safety procedures weren’t followed”

      So were the safety procedures followed at the Wuhan lab?

      “They have safety procedures!”

    • Brochettaward

      The accident theory has been advanced by the Trump administration in recent weeks.

      This is what it’s all about. I mean, there have been reports that the lab is so poorly run that employees sell the animals they test on for food.

    • bacon-magic

      Sorry I don’t click on links for a US funded propaganda machine for China.

    • Not Adahn

      NPR found that an accidental release would have required a remarkable series of coincidences and deviations from well-established experimental protocols.

      That’s also true of Chernobyl. Therefore obviously, either Chernobyl didn’t happen and it was all a hoax made up by Reagan to discredit the Soviets, or it was sabotage by Reagan to discredit the Soviets.

      Those same analyses refuted an earlier theory that the virus was genetically engineered in a laboratory. Garry says the reason is simple — the virus infects people in a way that scientists had never seen before: “The virus is just really too good at what it’s doing,” he says. “No human using a computer could do this. This is very clearly a natural process that occurred.”

      I’ve never seen the inverted watchmaker analogy before.

      • Michael

        I don’t know what’s more idiotic – that exact quote about no human being able to achieve that or the belief that only genetically modified viruses can be found in labs.

      • Don Escaped a Landslide

        well-established experimental protocols

        I’ve often found during root cause analysis that as many as three different opportunities to avoid a mistake were forgone. The rule wasn’t followed, the part was modified and forced to fit, the end-of-line test was over-ridden because of a glitch (also requiring the supervisors key and approval).

        I’ve largely given up on virtual knowledge like box-checking in project management because people just check the box: they don’t actually do any critical analysis unless some sort of physical work is required (eg: field test), and even then there’s a bunch of wishful thinking and confirmation bias.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, it was Friday afternoon and I didn’t have time for that shit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The inventory pencil whippers are my favorite.

        Why are we short on this part? We’re showing five dozen in stock and cycle count was done this past Monday.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yeah. All I get from the article is it’s quite easy to fuck up and spread a virus from that type of lab if you don’t follow biosafety protocols very carefully. China isn’t exactly a place known for extensive quality controls and integrity.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Speaking of Chinese quality…

        Based on published metagenomic data, this study provides the first report on a potential closely related kin (Pangolin-CoV) of SARS-CoV-2, which was discovered from dead Malayan pangolins after extensive rescue efforts. Aside from RaTG13, the Pangolin-CoV is the CoV most closely related to SARS-CoV-2. Due to unavailability of the original sample, we did not perform further experiments to confirm our findings, including PCR validation, serological detection, or even isolation of the virus particles.

        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7156161/?report=reader

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Also, lab workers in China are known for and have been convicted of selling dead laboratory animals wet markets instead of incinerating them. I don’t know how widespread it is but it happens.

      • invisible finger

        Irrelevant. Obama fixed everything Bush fucked up in Cina.

    • Brochettaward

      Also note – a lot of these researchers that end up getting quoted have links to China. Example just from the article:

      “All of the evidence points to this not being a laboratory accident,” says Jonna Mazet, a professor of epidemiology at the University of California, Davis and director of a global project to watch for emerging viruses called PREDICT.

      These protocols are used by scientists all over the world, including in China. Mazet says that the staff at the Wuhan Institute of Virology, where much of the suspicion has been focused, has been trained by U.S. scientists as part of the PREDICT program. Scientists working there follow the rules, Mazet says.

      So you’re talking to a guy who was likely financed by China and paid by China to train researchers at the Wuhan facility. Nope…no possible conflict of interest here.

      Chinese money flows to American researchers:

      Over time, the program began to recruit Western scientists as well. Researchers were asked to set up labs in China and spend at least part of their time doing work there, in exchange for grants and expenses paid. Some relocated to China, but others split their time between their home institutions and a Chinese university.

      https://www.npr.org/2020/02/14/806128410/harvard-professors-arrest-raises-questions-about-scientific-openness

  20. westernsloper

    I don’t get how car washes are not essential businesses. It is part of vehicle maintenance no? The auto shops are open.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      Because paint isn’t a protective coating against rust or anything, it’s just for looks…..

    • Florida Man

      I haven’t washed my truck in years. I’m pretty it can go a few more months.

      Disclaimer: nothing should have been closed by the government.

      • Don Escaped a Landslide

        I prefer a dirt-colored truck like a “champagne” or a “pewter”

      • Florida Man

        The base is grey, with a greyer layer of dirt over the top.

      • Not Adahn

        I drove a pewter-colored loaner truck to visit farmgirl once. Good thing I paid for the extra insurance. She had goats.

      • westernsloper

        Hell me either, (9months not years) but I am pretty sure we are supposed to. Especially here where the salt/mag rots out your frame. I wash mine in the summer just because it is summer and it is a thing to do that involves water. Even here the car washes stayed open because they are part of vehicle maintenance.

      • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

        Fun Fact, I have never washed my Kia Van…….

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Trucks are supposed to be dirty. If it’s not, you aren’t using it right.

      • DrOtto

        Don’t do it. I washed mine on Sunday, it got totalled Wednesday. I’m certain it’s because I washed it. I rarely ever used to wash it.

    • cyto

      The point of closing “non-essential” business is to limit the spread of the virus.

      I’m not sure how “spread-worthy” a carwash is. They usually have an automated tunnel, a cashier and a few guys doing interiors in pairs. They could skip the “in pairs” bit and then everyone is “social distanced” .

      done and done. Not exactly rocket science.

      Well, except the waiting room. Maybe you don’t do “while you wait” detailing?

      These are solvable problems.

      • westernsloper

        You just put that common sense away Mr. We don’t do that in these trying times.

  21. Naptown Bill

    I wonder how those hypocritical shitheels feel about the Left’s hostility towards focused, proactive public safety interventions, aka stop and frisk.

    • commodious spittoon

      As long as it’s afflicted on some insouciant white lady taking her kids to the park.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      8, 9, 19 is Thicc,

    • Enough About Palin

      Sweet 16!

  22. Tres Cool

    I dont know how many Buckey Glibs™ heard DeWine’s daily presser, but (and Im paraphrasing) when talking about the number of positive tests, he said “lots of people out there had this with mild symptoms, or they had it and figured it was something else.”

    Gee Mike, end of December and January when everyone in SW Ohio had some non-flu URI- doesn’t seem suspicious at all that its been here?

    • Trigger Hippie

      Yep. I’m pretty much to the point that I believe commie cough was here far before we knew it and the quarantine is just dragging out the life of the virus. All this economic and mental damage being suffered has largely been for nothing. Hell, it’s probably making it worse.

      I said to friend recently: Not only did we close the gate after the animals already left the barn, we locked ourselves inside, started a slow burning fire in the corner and are now frantically installing fire blocking around the corner in the hope the whole damn thing doesn’t burn down on our heads.

      It’s insanity.

  23. Q Continuum

    Too bad about Lizzie’s broham. Seriously. Even if Lizzie herself had it, I wouldn’t wish death upon anyone, no matter how repellent her political views.

    • bacon-magic

      ^

    • Gustave Lytton

      ^Hitler supporter confirmed

  24. Rebel Scum

    Michael, you dishonest cunte.

    Moore said, “I think you and others have done a good job of telling the story about how this could have been prevented. Not the disease, not the virus, the virus exists. We’ve always had viruses. We’ve always had to fight them, but we could have gotten —if we’ve gotten just a quicker jump on it if the president hadn’t called it a hoax, hadn’t fought the reality of it.”

    He continued, “And still today, Brian, still today, getting rid of the top person in charge of vaccines because that person didn’t offer enough praise to Caesar. What does he think he’s doing? This guy is — we used to say this guy’s going to get us killed. Actually, it wasn’t just a joke. This guy is getting us killed.”

    Michael Moore added, “People are not going to forget this at election time. The majority of the people are not going to forget this — people have lost loved ones, people who are sick right now who are watching this. This will not be forgotten. What is ahead of us for the second wave? The second wave that’s now going to come with the flu and he gets angry at the CDC head that tells us the truth. We need the truth. We need total transparency. Don’t sugar-coat it for us.”

    • Viking1865

      The first time Micheal Moore has ever declined a coating of sugar.

    • leon

      Here is why we don’t get things done. Because people are always too busy trying to score political points rather than let people try to fix their own problems:

      if we’ve gotten just a quicker jump on it if the president hadn’t called it a hoax

      Not True.

      “And still today, Brian, still today, getting rid of the top person in charge of vaccines because that person didn’t offer enough praise to Caesar

      First, you can’t have a vaccine for a novel virus. Two, it seems like vaccine is a non-starter, so even this is a useless complaint to try to pin this all on Trump.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’d have a point if Trump called the virus a hoax which he didn’t do. He’d also have a point if we were the only nation in the world where CV is an issue and of course we aren’t. Fuck that fat fuck.

    • The Other Kevin

      I have to agree with him. If only Trump had only ignored the Chinese government and the WHO and acted on his own. Oh wait, that’s not what he meant?

    • B.P.

      Remember a few years ago when Brian Williams was the go-to person for dispassionate, unbiased journalism?

    • Suthenboy

      “…the CDC head that tells us the truth.”

      I see.

      Moore is and always was a low-rent grifter. The truth has never passed his lips.

    • leon

      Purist

      Is this some kind of white supremacists site?

    • Q Continuum

      She and Gwyneth Paltrow should throw a diaper fetish party.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Both days, I added ½ cup of Clorox to my bathwater to combat the radiation and metals in my system and oxygenate it.

      I used a “body charger,” which energy specialist Randy Oppitz suggested I borrow from a friend. It sent electrical frequencies through my body to oxygenate my blood and stimulate the healthy production of blood cells to fortify my immune system. It also rebalanced my energy, which was gravely off from the stress of caregiving, catching the virus, fearing my kids would get it, etc. The key to healing the human body is directly related to the body’s ability to allow energy to flow through it. “I discovered in my 40-year career as a personal energy specialist that every person I ever worked with has blocked energies. The Body Charger is a device that transfers energy, breaks up, and pulls out the low frequency while replacing with a higher rate,” Oppitz told me.

      I also rented a PEMF (pulsed electromagnetic field) machine, which optimizes the ability of cells to start healing. It uses low-energy fields to stimulate the self-healing mechanisms of the cells after a physical injury or a viral attack on the body’s tissues or bones. For COVID-19, it increases the speed with which your lungs and whole body can recover. I was able to rent this from StandWellness in Water Mill for the month, but it is good to use for any ailment, at any time. I have used it in my office for the arthritis on my foot and for the inflammation Lyme disease caused my shoulders.

      OMFG

      My not-so-inner engineer is freaking out at the sheer stupidity, mis-information, and just downright lunacy of this.

      • bacon-magic

        She should stick a fork in a wall receptacle and let the full power of the force flow through her.

      • C. Anacreon

        Worked out ok in “Return to Twin Peaks”.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        How would Clorox combat radiation? Maybe she should try bating in molten lead.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It whitens the radiation until it becomes purifying light.

        Duh…

      • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

        I stopped at “body charger”, Keep worshiping Gaia, see how it works for ya..

      • Tres Cool

        Jesus H. Koresh, lady. How much does all that shit cost per month?

        This past week was very challenging for me. What started as a sinus cold escalated into nightly sinus headaches and tough breathing. I stayed on the course I set for Chris of oxygenated herbs:

        3 Sinex daily

        3 Antivirals daily

        3 KappArrest daily

        3 OXO (nontoxic quinine) daily. Here’s one you can buy from Cinchona officinalis—Peruvian bark. This is essential to oxygenate the blood.

        I made a liver-cleansing beverage with one raw garlic clove, one orange, one lemon, a tablespoon of cayenne pepper, a spoonful of olive oil, a crunch of ginger and a piece of turmeric. On the days I was also in isolation, I made a big batch in advance and kept it in the fridge.

        Zinc

        Alka C—6000 mg per day (helps reduce the inflammation this virus causes all over the body)

        3 Vitamin B

        2 Vitamin D

        Echinacea Osha—3 droppers full daily

        Respiratory Response—3 droppers full daily

        Glutathione powder

        Two medicinal florals: xanthium and magnolia

        Viracid from Orthomolecular—available online

      • Suthenboy

        That’s one heapin’ helpin’ of gibberish alright. My God.

        Can you imagine being married to that?

      • Tres Cool

        + annulment in the 1st week

        (maybe 3 weeks if the pussy is good)

      • J. Frank Parnell

        In that couple she’s the smart one.

      • Rhywun

        I hope it was organic Clorox.

      • Michael

        Holy fuck. On a whim I looked up this StandWellness, and it’s exactly as batshit insane as you’d expect.

        While simple steam baths make you perspire through heat, Infrared saunas go much deeper. By combining heat with light, they’re known to detoxify seven times more thoroughly than traditional saunas. Far infrared waves go deep to raise your core temperature from the inside. This cellular level sweat means you’ll shed heavy metals, radiation and environmental toxins. The infrared also penetrates tissues, joints and muscles to relieve aches and pains, while boosting circulation and oxygenating cells so you feel energetically rejuvenated. An added bonus: collagen production is stimulated which reduces wrinkles and promotes an even skin tone.

        https://standwellness.com/far-infrared-sauna/

      • Rhywun

        reduces wrinkles and promotes an even skin tone

        LOL of course it does.

      • Michael

        It slices! It dices! It makes your whites the whitest they can be!

      • Trigger Hippie

        It’s a floor wax! And a dessert topping!

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        She’s just following the data and listening to the scientists.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      3 OXO (nontoxic quinine) daily.

      Not like that toxic quinine that Drumpf is touting!!!

      • RAHeinlein

        Yep, I was just preparing to comment on that fact.

      • Sensei

        First thing I thought too!

    • Not Adahn

      I stayed on the course I set for Chris of oxygenated herbs … OXO (nontoxic quinine) daily. Here’s one you can buy from Cinchona officinalis—Peruvian bark. This is essential to oxygenate the blood … I made a liver-cleansing beverage with one raw garlic clove, one orange, one lemon, a tablespoon of cayenne pepper, a spoonful of olive oil, a crunch of ginger and a piece of turmeric. On the days I was also in isolation, I made a big batch in advance and kept it in the fridge.

      #IFLS

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well at least she’s not using that shitty Ecuadorian bark.

    • bacon-magic

      The menu tells me that she’s been torturing her whole family for a long time. Good, maybe the kids won’t grow up to be like Dad. And yes, Dad deserves all the torture.

    • westernsloper

      “I discovered in my 40-year career as a personal energy specialist that every person I ever worked with has blocked energies.

      I don’t have that problem, but my folks eat lots of prunes because of it.

      • Tres Cool

        “They contain ingredients like zeolite, bamboo vinegar, and amethyst gemstone — all of which have a long history of traditional use in cleansing and promoting overall wellness. Try them for yourself and see how much better you feel!”

        Why arent any of these people curing CoVID-19?

      • Sean

        And they’re gluten free!

  25. DEG

    Woodie’s Wash Shack in St. Petersburg has been authorized to reopen after filing a lawsuit against Pinellas County.

    The business was one of many car washes that was forced to close after leaders deemed it non-essential. However, after an inspection by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office on Saturday, Woodie’s proved it can be an essential service, but only for essential workers.

    It’s good they are open, but it pissed me off that not only is the government able to shut them down but when the government deigns to let them reopen, they can only serve certain customers. Fuck the government.

    • Tres Cool

      I’m gonna bet that inmates are on quasi-lockdown and doing “distancing”. So those sheriff’s cars aren’t gonna wash themselves….

    • invisible finger

      The problem is business licensing. Pretty much gives government carte blanche to be as specious as they want.

  26. DEG

    RE: the music: AOC doesn’t need brains, she has tits.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Government Goes Too Far

    I find it creepy how eager some people are for authorities to boss us around.

    That’s the topic of my new video.

    In Raleigh, North Carolina, people gathered to protest a “stay-at-home” order. The police arrested a protester and tweeted, “Protesting is a non-essential activity.”

    I bet they got a chuckle out of that. But our Constitution guarantees Americans the right to “peaceably assemble” and “petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

    The coronavirus doesn’t override the Constitution.

    Protests also erupted in Michigan, where Gov. Gretchen Whitmer imposed some absurd rules. She declared, “All public or private gatherings of any size are prohibited.” Her executive order stopped people from seeing relatives and banned anyone with more than one home to travel between them.

    Big-box stores are allowed to stay open, but they must not sell things like carpet, flooring, furniture, garden supplies, paint, etc. So, Walmart stores are open, but some of their shelves have tape blocking certain products.

    That’s just dumb.

    • leon

      The coronavirus doesn’t override the Constitution

      Umm. i think that makes you anti-science. You must be expunged from the body of civil discourse.

  28. Fourscore

    Does it really matter what the brother died from? I’d feel bad if it was a car accident, accidental overdose or any other various diseases that routinely kill people.

    Mrs Warren, we celebrate together but we grieve alone. Sorry to hear about your brother’s death, regardless of the cause. As we always say, “He’s in a better place”

    • Tundra

      Besides, did he die from WuFlu? Or just with it?

      • LemonGrenade

        He was like 86. I think at that point, you can just put down ‘old age’ and be done with it.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, sure. As soon as she’s announced as Biden’s VP pick, she’s going to check another checkbox, let’s see:

        Woman: check

        Minority: check

        Someone who has someone related who died from the plague and it’s all Trump’s fault: check

      • LemonGrenade

        I’m betting Biden picks Michelle, they steal the election via cheat by mail, and then Biden dies within a month of the inauguration.

      • Tres Cool

        Little Bunny FooFoo got pasted in the street in front of the crib last night. I mentioned I had to scrape the thing up, since nobody else was going, and who knows how long it would take for the Twp. to get here. Jugsy said “what killed it?”

        “Doesn’t matter. Coronavirus.”

      • Jarflax

        Why do you steal Buzzy the Buzzard’s dinner?

      • LemonGrenade

        Cleaning up dead critters can be the worst. Especially if they get a chance to get maggoty before you find them.
        In my area, the father of an accused double-murderer committed suicide. I mentioned it in one of my work chats, and the response “So, the ‘rona got him, huh?”

      • Tres Cool

        This was fresh, and it was trash night. Serendipitous, akshually.
        Couple kroger bags and some nitrile gloves…..Rumpke’s problem now.

      • commodious spittoon

        I’ll never shake the scent of rotting skunk. It’d been going awhile before we found it in the crawlspace under the porch, thankfully not far enough to be inaccessible. Mom handed me a garbage bag and gloves and told me to get rid of it. I don’t remember a whole lot except pulling on the tail and the tail coming off like Arnold pulling the skin off his cyborg hand. Getting rid of that thing was worse than burying my parvo-struck lab puppy Othello.

      • LemonGrenade

        Dead skunks are the absolute worst, and one of the reasons I have no problem with vultures in my neighborhood.

    • UnCivilServant

      So what is the yellow thingy?

      Does anyone know?

      Is it biohazardous?

      • The Hyperbole

        It appears to be a box full of gears so I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s a gearbox.

      • UnCivilServant

        So it churns out looter-shooters?

      • The Hyperbole

        No idea. Is that a nerd thing? I don’t get nerd references.

    • Sean

      That’s quite the gizmo.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I thought you got picked up with your girlfriend for public porn or something like that.

    • Agent Cooper

      How dare you talk about your Asian friend that way. The proper name is Nuprin.

      • Q Continuum

        Little. Yellow. Different.

      • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

        WAAAAAYNE!

    • AlmightyJB

      If you think that’s going to hold STEVE SMITH, I have news for you.

    • commodious spittoon

      That’s gotta be a alota canola.

    • Tres Cool

      I understand the part of the country you’re in, and its demographic. But dude with that ZZ Top beard in a melt shop ?

    • AlmightyJB

      Probably not. I hope she’s ok, but she’s probably dead.

    • westernsloper

      STEVE SMITH victim?

  29. Tundra

    Hi Brett!

    Sorry about the domestic situation. This sucks, but at least your young-uns will learn to appreciate the danger that is mama!

    Our shithead governor shut down school for the rest of the year. Spawn 2 hardest hit.

    I made the mistake of listening to part of the briefing today. I am now praying for an asteroid strike.

    We just proved to the slavers that we will cower on demand.

    That can’t be good.

    Well, my car wash opened up the other day, as well, so at least I can get pissed while looking at a clean truck in the driveway!

    My attitude right now.

      • Tundra

        Roy was the Man.

        Thanks, Fourscore!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        D00d died in ’88. 32 years, but who’s counting?

      • Fourscore

        Oh yeah, he was 52. Math is hard.

      • B.P.

        32.

        Although the last two months have seemingly dragged on for a long time.

      • Tundra

        Nice!

        I’ve now listened to it three times. I give it a big thumbs up.

      • B.P.

        Cool. They’ve been around for 20-something years and are still a tour de force live. Imagine Aretha Franklin fronting the MC5.

      • Tundra

        My favorite MC5.

        Thanks, man. I’m following on Spotify.

  30. Rebel Scum

    The Democrats Totally Want A Depression

    Democrats are never ones to let a good crisis go to waste, and this Wuhan Flu is a very good crisis indeed if your goal is leftist hegemony. The Trump economy was booming after the near-decade of the Obama doldrums, and people were getting a taste of prosperity. But a happy, prosperous America is something the Democrat dudes can’t abide. All the Democrats had to sell were recycled cries of “RACISM!” and “RUSSIA!” and their standard-bearer was that sinewy weirdo Grandpa Badfinger, who was promising to drag us all back into the nightmare of globalist failure. The future looked grim, which means it actually looked bright for the rest of us. …

    Am I saying that the Democrats are exploiting the pandemic for their own cheesy advantage? Well, yeah. Everything they are doing is consistent with that. Everything. No, in the abstract, many of them would probably not prefer that tens of thousands of Americans die (I get enough Twitter death wishes to know, from their own filthy mouths, that some absolutely do want us to die), but their attitude seems to be that if life gives you tens of thousands of dead Americans, make political lemonade.

    And upon reading this there will be lib blue check and Fredocon sissy huffing n’ puffing because I dared point out this manifest truth, so allow me to recommend that those who are upset go soothe themselves with a nice bowl of artisanal chocolate ice cream, which I am reliably informed makes everything better. Absolutely no one believes the Democrats are not going to wring from this black swan all the droppings they can squeeze out onto President Trump.

    • Suthenboy

      To hold onto power they would absolutely burn the country to the ground.
      King of ashes….to rule in hell…etc.

    • Cannoli

      Of course they do. Look how far they were able to turn the ratchet during the last Depression.

    • Cannoli

      I am getting very fed up with my coworkers. Every week some executive or another does a Q&A audiocast and every question is some form of “do we have to come to work?” or “can we get more money?” I’m just grateful to still have a job.

      • Cannoli

        Gah, should have been a new comment.

  31. kinnath

    My August vacation plans have been cancelled now.

    Just waiting for the National Homebrew Convention to cancel for June.

    That make for a total scrub of all vacation plans for the year.

    • Tundra

      We’ve got Turks & Caicos booked for December. If that goes away, I will go full ZARDOZ on the bit.

    • The Other Kevin

      The TOK family and some in-laws have a trip to Disney World planned for the end of May. We haven’t cancelled anything yet, but I’m pretty sure we’ll have to. Hopefully they’ll open with restrictions and we’ll just have to postpone.

  32. grrizzly

    OBL for Biden.

    Usama bin Laden wanted to assassinate then-President Barack Obama so that the “totally unprepared” Joe Biden would take over as president and plunge the United States “into a crisis,” according to documents seized from bin Laden’s Pakistan compound when he was killed in May 2011.

    “The reason for concentrating on them is that Obama is the head of infidelity and killing him automatically will make [Vice President] Biden take over the presidency,” bin Laden wrote to a top deputy. “Biden is totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the U.S. into a crisis. As for Petraeus, he is the man of the hour … and killing him would alter the war’s path” in Afghanistan.

  33. The Bearded Hobbit

    A question for the legal/accounting-type glibs.

    When my mother-in-law moved into the home we closed her bank account. Any bill that she gets I pay for out of my account. She recently got a couple of refund checks. She has no account to cash them and her name is not on my account so we can’t cash them there.

    I was thinking that MIL could write “Endorsed to {Mrs Hobbit} and then {Mrs Hobbit} could deposit them in our account. Is that legit?

    • Suthenboy

      Of course it is legit. MIL can endorse the check over to whomever she chooses.

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      I needed to do that with Wendy after she died, I can’t find the Doc, dammit!
      it’s doable, talk to your bank, they will help,

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Thanks to you both for the replies. I thought that it was doable but I know that there have been a lot of changes to the banking system over the years.

    • westernsloper

      We have places here that will cash any check for a fee. One place is called Dinero Rapido.

    • Jarflax

      Pay to the order of Mrs. Hobbit, then sign. Legally that is sufficient the issue is that banks are sometimes jerks about it.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        “Pay to the order of Mrs. Hobbit” in the endorsement on the back?

        Banks being jerks is what I’m trying to avoid.

        Thanks for the reply.

      • Jarflax

        Yes in the endorsement.

    • commodious spittoon

      Speaking as a former teller, this was the sort of thing we’d grab a manager to approve… but if you have history with your bank, it shouldn’t be an issue.

  34. CPRM

    Funemployment payments still “pending review” because I’m also self-employed. Trump Bux (TM) says my status can’t be verified. Living the dream, living the dream.

    (I’m back at work this week and next week, then two more weeks of layoff)

    *Wanders off to grab a beer*

  35. Mad Scientist

    Since Brett was too busy snorting links to add this informational message from SP to the top post, I’m adding it here.

    “Starting at 0030 PDT Friday morning, the site will be offline for 6-8 hours while SP and the hosting company tech support folks perform some significant server work to address the recent unpleasantness. There are no guarantees in life, however, so don’t expect us to be back until you see us. Stay tuned for a post from SP this evening. Thank you for your support.”

    • 23rd Century Temporal Boy

      The DT’s are gonna be rough, hope I make it that long…..

    • Brochettaward

      What am I supposed to do while masturbating tonight?

      • Jarflax

        What you always do, pull the mummified hooker out from under your bed.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Zoom?

    • Tundra

      Wow, for a child she’s really accomplished.

      Thank you, SP!

      • Brochettaward

        Old Man With Candy likes their hands small and their minds precocious.

    • westernsloper

      Thanks SP!

    • Mojeaux

      O.M.G. NO I CAN’T GO WITHOUT MY GLIBBIES!!!

      Oh, wait. I’ll be asleep. Or at least trying to sleep.

    • Sean

      Oh my god.

    • robc

      That ends 9:30 to 11:30 in real time. **Shudder**

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thank you SP and TPTB.

    • commodious spittoon

      You’re taking it down after midnight for us bunch of loafers and layabouts? Bless you, we don’t deserve you.

    • DEG

      Thank you SP.

    • Fourscore

      A big Thank You, SP. I chose the right day to take my truck into the fixit shop. Gas tank has rusted and leaks gas, kind of like me.

      • pistoffnick

        Beans, beans the musical fruit
        The more you eat, the more you toot.

  36. Hyperion

    This guy wants people to die

    I agree with him that people will not put up with this for much longer, but there is at least one point with which I must disagree:

    “knowledge economy workers unaffected by the collapse who demand continued distancing”

    This is not only wrong, but must have been assumed out of extreme ignorance.

    For one, you cannot just take people and divide them up by the type of work they do and assume that all of them want the same thing.

    Sure, you can do that, to some extent, if you’re only talking about government employees or the media.

    But the rest of us rely on a real functional economy for our own well being. I’m one of those knowledge workers he refers to and while I am not out of a job, I am affected. Almost all of us are. I only do NOT demand continued distancing, but am completely opposed to it. And being one of those people, I also know a lot of other ones and I do not know a single one who does not hate this shit and does not want to go back to normal ASAP. Wanting to work from home is one thing, wanting people to suffer just because I can work from home is another thing altogether. Fuck that ignorant fuckstick on that one.

    • Mojeaux

      I am also a knowledge worker and while this has benefited me in the (very) short-term, it will definitely hurt me in the long-term. I would not willingly advance myself on the backs of millions of others under any circumstances, but for me to deny that there will be catastrophic fallout for me in the long-term, I’d have to be an idiot.

    • LemonGrenade

      Yeah, another full time remote worker whose job is entirely unaffected by this (outside of record traffic, revenue and hours worked), and I still come firmly down on the side of free will. If people want to keep hiding in their homes, the governor doesn’t need to order them to do it. They can keep self-isolating voluntarily as long as they want to. Ditto with businesses – let them decide when it’s safe to reopen. I’m extremely frustrated by the ‘essential employees’ who support continued lockdowns because then they aren’t forced to make the decision “should I risk going to work or not”, they just get to keep going to work and everyone else is forced to bear the cost instead. Open back up. Let people decide if they want to leave their homes and go back to normal on their own. Oh, and suspend all regulations suspended because of the WuFlu permanently.

      • Hyperion

        “If people want to keep hiding in their homes, the governor doesn’t need to order them to do it. They can keep self-isolating voluntarily as long as they want to.”

        I couldn’t agree more.

    • Naptown Bill

      I’m a web dev for a state university, which makes me totally untouched in the short-term although long-term we’ll likely see stuff like furloughs and so forth. Compared to what a lot of people are dealing with that’s nothing. What has totally screwed my wife and I is that we’re now both having to work from home when we both do work that we can really only do effectively on our (well, MY, but that’s a whole other can of worms) computer and suddenly have to be available for things like Zoom meetings or lengthy graduate courses conducted via Zoom or Teams in a house with a baby, a young child, two dogs, and a cat. A house that was small when it was just two of us, mind you. So in addition to having to coordinate herding the children while both getting a chance to work, we’ve also got to find time to go out and get groceries and so forth in an environment where there are weird shortages (size 2 diapers, for instance, or specific canned soups) and stringently-enforced limits on how many people can be in the store at a time creating Soviet-style lines.

      Oh, and no meeting up for a beer Friday afternoon to blow off steam, either. My sister-in-law put it like this: “We’re not working from home; we’re stuck at home during a crisis trying to work.”

      So yeah, we’re affected. It’s stupid to think that if you *can* work from your home that a.) that’s the best place for you to do it, and b.) nothing outside of your home affects you.

    • invisible finger

      I’m a “knowledge worker”, a euphemism for brain whore I guess.

      Anyway, the state cower-in-fear order makes the office the safest place to stay away from people. I go in to the office when I feel like it and I’ve seen three humans in three days, all of whom work on other floors. I heard a guy taking a shit a couple stalls over today, I guess that’s four. When I’m at home, four people will walk by over the course of 30 minutes and I live on a cul de sac.

  37. grrizzly

    Meanwhile, in Russia

    But despite his arrest, Cheldiyev’s supporters in Vladikavkaz, his hometown, heeded his calls and descended on the city’s main square on April 20. In addition to his release, the crowd of 2,000 demanded the lifting of self-isolation rules and the resignation of the regional governor, Vyacheslav Bitarov.

    “I didn’t make up this disease,” Bitarov said when he came to the square to placate the crowd. “And there’s only one treatment for it: staying at home.”

    In Vladikavkaz, like in other Russian cities, critics say anger over shelter-at-home orders and other movement restrictions introduced by the authorities is fueled by a widespread sense that the government is doing too little to support those who have lost jobs or their sources of income since the measures were introduced.

    “We demand work,” Oleg Bokoyev, one of the protesters in Vladikavkaz, told RFE/RL’s North Caucasus Service. “We’ll earn money for bread ourselves, just give us work.”

    With the International Monetary Fund forecasting a 5 percent reduction in Russia’s GDP this year, and oil prices plummeting to unprecedented levels, President Vladimir Putin and his government have sought to assuage the population with promises of handouts to furloughed workers and support for small and medium-sized business.

    But the economic effects of the lockdown have begun to hit. In March, 67,000 sole proprietors shuttered their businesses, according to the financial newspaper Vedomosti — a 77 percent increase over the same period last year.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shades of the Soviet Union

  38. hayeksplosives

    A lady named Naomi Israel (or Naomi Soria) led lockdown protests in San Diego. She’s facing 90days jail or fines. She’s doing another protest this weekend.

    She had been crowdsourcing for legal fees, but she’s been pulled from Facebook. If anyone knows where her fund is, please share.

    • commodious spittoon

      FACEBOOK IS ASSHOE

    • hayeksplosives

      Looks like the Center for American Liberty is going to help her. I will donate.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Facebook is a reprehensible company headed by a synthetic prick.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s just a digital manifestation of our collective worst tribal impulses.

      • hayeksplosives

        They’re meting out Viral Justice, Mang! It’s the latest thing. No need to trouble with due process and all that rot.

        Emergenceeeeereee!!! Powers!

  39. The Late P Brooks

    There are no guarantees in life, however, so don’t expect us to be back until you see us. Stay tuned for a post from SP this evening. Thank you for your support.

    Good luck, and thanks!

    • hayeksplosives

      Echo the thanks! This site is an essential service!

      • Suthenboy

        It’s one thing for me to get busy and say ‘hey, I can check in later’ and another entirely to know I can’t!

      • Suthenboy

        Yikes. That’s how you end up with a Wilson soccer ball as your best friend.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, air cargo and express freight are still flying. But still, it’s eye opening to see that level of basic postal service get suspended on a large scale between first world nations not at war.

    • Suthenboy

      I remember Mark Levin once saying that no matter how stupid, selfish and venal you think the ruling class is, they are worse.
      I wonder if Nancy Pelosi will have any self-awareness when her ice cream runs out, or better when the power fails and it all melts.

      When the engine of production grinds to a halt will they still think that all of the things we consume come out of a magic hat? I am beginning to think that a great many of them want civilization to collapse and we revert to some sort of feudal system.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “But but but! I’m supposed to be the feudal lord here!”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The few state politicians I have met validate this statement.

        Some were almost literally idiots that never met a business they couldn’t run into the ground. Others simply got off on electoral processes and couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about principle.

      • Suthenboy

        I have met such people.

        At the moment I am fortunate. My statehouse rep has been over for dinner, is thoughtful and principled. Same for my US Senators.
        I grew up two doors down from the statehouse rep. He is a christfag that preaches at a nearby church and spent most of his efforts raising money for kids with cancer. He showed up here once asking for a donation for a family whose house burned.
        *yeah, I know he was marketing himself for years before he ran but at least he was going about it the right way.

        All in all, aside from our commie governor, I am pleased with the overall representation we have here and that extends to most local officials.

      • The Hyperbole

        I am beginning to think

        No you aren’t. That’s been one of your Schticks for as long as I can remember.

      • Suthenboy

        Well, at least you don’t disagree with my premise.

      • The Hyperbole

        How could I disagree with such epic hyperbole?

    • DEG

      Not bad.

  40. commodious spittoon

    I am so sick by how relentlessly uninquisitive ABC news is. They’re Johnny on the spot reporting unemployment or infection numbers, but their interest evaporates before they manage to give any context.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s by design.

      It’s an editorial decision to conduct the news in that fashion.

    • Suthenboy

      OrangeManBad must go even if we have to burn the country down.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if Nancy Pelosi will have any self-awareness when her ice cream runs out, or better when the power fails and it all melts.

    I’d bet there is a diesel backup generator to keep her from suffering the indignity of eating melted ice cream.

    She might not what it is, or how it works, but she has a “guy” who does.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I doubt the power will go out in her neighborhood…she and her ice cream will be just fine.

      • Mad Scientist

        Mirror, Mirror on the wall.
        Who’s the most essential of all?

      • Jarflax

        Up to a point the elites can avoid the consequences of their actions. But only up to a point, when that point is reached they learn what the rest of us learn earlier.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        When that point is reached they take their pilfered money, fly to France, and live out their days on the Riviera or some other similar nice place. There’s no true accountability for people at her level and there never will be.

      • The Hyperbole

        And there never has been, the world is ruled by force. As I think I said in one of the zoom happy hours (although I probably just slurred some random drunken nonsense) the only good thing about ‘murica is that at least here even the most low born can fairly easily aspire to be a grifter of the highest status, in most other places and times one needed to be born into it or risk life and limb and conquer other for it.

      • Jarflax

        If they break France they can fly here to avoid consequences. If they break the US there won’t be anywhere to hide from the consequences. I don’t think people really understand to what extent the rest of the 1st world depends on the US to maintain their standard of living.

      • Suthenboy

        ^This^

      • Suthenboy

        Right now I don’t think they can even imagine a world where they dont have access to what they have now. If they keep this up they will get to that point where they learn.

        See: Story about Boris Yeltsin’s visit to the US and seeing US grocery stores.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Huh. Failed Democratic Presidential Candidate Steve Bullock believes it may be time to allow Montanans to have rights, again, maybe. Bit by bit. In a controlled manner.

    People are whining about it.

    • commodious spittoon

      I don’t know if it’s sunk cost or cringing authority worship or cynical partisanship or just plain dumb fear, but the willingness to endure deprivations for the sake of… some moving target… is just embarrassing.

      • Suthenboy

        It is all of those.

      • commodious spittoon

        And I say that as someone who rails impotently against the regime while enduring deprivations for the sake of… some moving target.

  43. westernsloper

    Question for the med Glibs and those in the know. If a person tests positive for the Vid and then gets over their symptoms and “recovers” would they still test positive with the original test as long as they are infectious?

    I ask this because seems at least in my local no Gov entity posting stats is posting recovered stats.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That depends on whether the test returns positive at a lower viral load level than at which you become infectious.

      I assume that varies by test manufacturer.

    • hayeksplosives

      It’s unclear to me if “having antibodies” is still infectious.

      I thought it meant like having chicken pox markers for life after recovering. But the reporting is such crap, I can’t tell.

      • westernsloper

        Ya, the reporting on that really pisses me off. Who the fuck is infectious? Everybody who ever talked to someone with the VId or seen one on TV?

      • invisible finger

        The reporting on EVERY story is that bad. Stop watching the news, it rots your brain.

  44. Sean

    Woohoo, my two hot pepper plants showed up today.

    • The Hyperbole

      What varieties? and why only two?

      • Sean

        Apocalypse scorpion chocolates. Cuz two plants were $20 and they didn’t have the chocolate reapers in stock when I ordered. I still need to get the reapers.

      • The Hyperbole

        Did you try ‘Pepper Joe’s’ my dad gets like 30 different peppers from him every year, although he grows from seeds so that may not help you.

      • Sean

        That’s exactly who I bought from. It was my first time using them. Since I placed that order, the reapers came back into stock. Seeing as how the first order went well, I’ll probably place another one tomorrow.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    It’s nice to know the local non-profit parasites are able to shamelessly continue to shake their little tin cups in these troubled times. it offers a comforting sense of normalcy.

  46. J. Frank Parnell

    I Teach At Oxford, But I Don’t Want It To Win The Coronavirus Vaccine Race

    If my university is the first to develop the vaccine, I’m worried that it will be used as it has been in the past, to fulfil its political, patriotic function as proof of British excellence.

    The story will be clear: China, once again, has unleashed a threat to civilisation. But the best brains of the UK have saved the world.

    Whilst I’m hopeful that I will be able to visit my Dad soon, this must not overshadow the key lesson of coronavirus: international cooperation saves lives. The research community knows this. Let’s hope our politicians do too.

    • Chipwooder

      Good lord….why is it that leftists feel compelled to project their self-loathing on everyone else?

      • Suthenboy

        Oikophobia.
        She teaches gender studies for fuck’s sake.

      • Rhywun

        LOL I guess I should have RTFA. I thought s/he was a scientician.

    • Suthenboy

      Fuck. You tricked me into clicking a Huff Puff link.

    • Rhywun

      He fucking loves science.

    • commodious spittoon

      China, once again, has unleashed a threat to civilisation.

      Wait… what? Since when? Is s/he saying China has been a historical global menace the way Japan was once? Or is s/he saying its recent imperialism is a myth by Western propagandists?

      Or is s/he just a careless writer, and didn’t think through her prose?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’s saying it’s a myth and is a CCP apologist.

      • Mojeaux

        See: Opium wars.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They should exile her to the South Falklands for that article.

  47. Tulip

    Will there be a zoom happy hour tomorrow?