Dawn breaks

by | Jun 4, 2020 | Musings | 307 comments

Dawn breaks in Blue Sunlight,

Dead Mountains, far and Brown,

Sets the tone for the day,

Roadcuts that speak to the past,

Images, carved in time,

Tell tales we cannot comprehend,

Still, we exist,

A traveler sees things,

And misses what’s clear,

A pointless journey?

Eyes open, find color,

The depth and breadth

Of experience,

I see the past in my travels,

And marvel,

Clarity is all around,

Future achieved,

Now I can pass on…………..

The shape and form of the sex tentacle is that of Cthulu,

Devious is the form of the Dicksuckle,

Long prose has Damned be hailed!,

And nothing’s gleaming,

Fractals of diamond,

Glisten before me,

I’m blind,

Without sunglasses,

Life is cluttered,

With odd memories,

Things you won’t forget,

Like a song, 

Stuck in your head,

And recurring visions,

Overload is maddening,

I think I see,

some Truth in me,

As we all carry on,

 

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

307 Comments

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Got a little weird in the middle there but definitely better than I can do.

    I just need some weed now.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I
      had no idea this was going up, weird in the middle

    • DEG

      Westernsloper, if you’re out there, I remember you said you had problems with archive and firefox. I have firefox and just started having trouble with archive. I received a 403 forbidden error from cloudflare. If you’re getting a cloudflare 403 forbidden error, try this. I excluded the archive domains, restarted firefox, and it was fine.

      For the redheads, all of them, but #2 is special.

      #29 is Maitland Ward.

      • westernsloper

        Aha!…I tried excluding but probably did it wrong so no joy, then I just changed DNS provider from cloudflare (default) to NextDNS and I got TITS! I have no idea what any of that means but who cares, I GOT TITS!

      • Fourscore

        All too complicated for a geezer. I’ll have to enjoy the titties from memory.

      • DEG

        You probably put the wrong domain in, but doesn’t matter. It worked.

        I have no idea what is wrong with the Firefox that this change was allowed out. archive is a site that is commonly used. If I made a change to the products I worked on which caused a commonly used function to fail, I’d either be working night and day to fix it or we drop the change.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      God Damn

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Mostly real, Nice!

    • kinnath

      8 please

      • Fourscore

        Hi Kinnath, I was out of pocket when your article ran, always late to the party. Really enjoyed the sciencey way you calculated the sun angle to maximize the exposure time.

        Couple questions. How did you get interested in growing apples? I checked cummings for prices but they are out of stock and prices so I’m still curious. We don’t suffer from cottontails here and few snowshoes but as I said the mice under the snow have been a proble. This past year I wrapped aluminum foil around my only apple tree and no problem. I planted 3 more bare root and all are looking good.

        In a line N to S but spaced apart. I had to go inside a chain link fence for deer protection.

        Always enjoyable to find someone with similar interests that can pass on his experiences Thanks much

      • Fourscore

        Oh yeah, your dirt is way different color compared to my jack pine sand…

      • kinnath

        Cummings sells out quickly. They will post “this year’s crop” very soon. Depending on where you live, they will ship in the fall to be planted this fall (mostly to southern locations) or in the spring (mostly northern locations).

        I was a brewer first.

        I completed a 9-month vineyard management class and 6-month winery management class at the local community college. But grapes that will grow in Iowa just don’t make great wine.

        But you can grow great cider apples in Iowa, so that’s where I got interested. Three-quarters of the cultivars I planted are for cider (or sharps for baking and cider).

        My soil is about 10 to 12 inches of standard Iowa black soil on top of clay. It makes the choice of rootstock a bit more complicated.

      • kinnath

        I should point out that some cultivars (mostly cider trees) sell out quickly.

        Some don’t. So cummings will run specials in the spring for trees that haven’t sold yet.

        They were selling trees at about 50% off just a few weeks ago.

      • Fourscore

        Interesting, thanks

      • Tulip

        It makes me want to have an orchard. Then I remember that I’m lazy.

      • kinnath

        Buy trees on dwarfing rootstock. Pick modern, disease-resistant and drought-resistant cultivars. Make minimal effort for dormant pruning before bud break in the spring. Spray a couple of times a year for bugs.

        You don’t have to make it as hard as I did.

      • BakedPenguin

        btw, kinnath, I read your article late, but I did want to say I liked them apples.

      • kinnath

        Thanks

      • BakedPenguin

        Yeah, I’d love to have 5 acres of cherry trees, but… you know… the effort.

    • BakedPenguin

      I was just watching an ep of The Office with Jenna Fischer, Ellie Kemper, and Catherine Tate. Although the latter one was kind of hitting her sell-by date by then.

  2. Fourscore

    Nice picture, Yusef. Did you get your AC working? Looks like your summer is here. We’re sleeping under blankets with the window open yet but looks like it’s gonna be hot soon, pretty early for 90 F here.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Oh yes, I changed refrigerants, and she works great. As far as scenery, I may have something more in the works…

    • Drake

      Welcome to clown world. Honk honk.

    • Jarflax

      Civil war II gonna be short.

      • Sean

        Bring bacon and bourbon.

      • Hyperion

        Gaston Mooney
        @gastonmooney
        ·
        2h
        Replying to
        @heckyessica
        Why do you hate dancing? (I didn’t have sound on and am going to assume it was the hokey pokey they were dancing to)

        Haw haw haw haw!!! FUCK!

    • Nikkodemus

      Awful lotta people in that thread lamenting they got scammed by the covid thing. I don’t suppose anyone will remember the folks who knew it was a scam to begin with?

      …….Anyone?

      • Florida Man

        I post here back in spring break saying this was all over blown, but nobody cares.

      • Fourscore

        I was always in agreement with everyone that recognized that. I saw lotsa masks today, Walmart, Menard’s. Menard’s requires them but I went through the pick up point maskless, no one said anything but all the customers were wearing them except 1.

      • Hyperion

        When this was at it’s peak hysteria, I would go to local stores and there would be most people wearing them, but some people not, and I never saw one person say a word.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Here you have to wear them to enter any building or store

      • Hyperion

        Same here. Another leftist scam, perpetrated and perpetuated by the CCP and the WHO.

        It’s OLD news now. Think you’re going to convince people so stay inside now because of a virus? Sorry, Karens, the new groove is all about rioting and looting.

      • Mojeaux

        That might be Big Daddy from Cincinnati, but he’s in Kansas City. I’d know those two buildings in the background anywhere.

      • Jarflax

        We get used in lots of rhythmic nicknames, it’s the long long short scansion.

      • Hyperion

        They’ve went about as fur as they can go in Kansas City, they’ve went about as fur as they can go!

      • Hyperion

        LOL

    • Fourscore

      I had to laugh. All these young people out in the street, enjoying them selves. Trying to guess how many are unemployed basement dwellers enjoying the luxury of their parents’ income. None looked malnourished

      • Hyperion

        That there’s funny, I don’t care who you are!

    • Tejicano

      We won’t get fooled again!

      Well, at least not until the next time. This one might take a few news cycles.

    • whiz

      Nice.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Clearly a white supremacist

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      This has pushed me over the edge, I just downloaded the Gab app and installed it. I’m @NationalTurkey

      • CPRM

        I tried liberdon, and bitchute…just too many choices, why won’t government decide for me?!

      • Plinker762

        Nobody needs more than one site full of videos about (((them)))

      • Hyperion

        I just signed up for it, @Liberty1777. I’m not impressed, yet. They’re pretending to be Twatter, without the numbers. I haven’t gotten the urge to post yet.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, we should stage some Gab Wars, where it’s @NationalTukey vs @Liberty1777 caged death match forever war! Since no one knows about Glibs, they won’t suspect it and we’ll make Gab’s market share soar! WIN! Oh wait, do they have a public option yet?

    • CPRM

      Good summation, but without a Blue Checkmark (TM) how can we know if it comes from an expert? Because good advice given in the name of an expert that isn’t that expert means it is bad advice!

      • Hyperion

        The Rainbow Checkmark will be the new mark of righteousness.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Ah Cat Stevens, he’s truly a gentle soul. Just keep him the hell away from Salman Rushdie.

      • whiz

        I liked having a Yusuf video in the comments of a Yusef post.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        A really pretty song though, Thanks! it would fit in to the drive that inspired the poem,

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Radar Love best driving song ever.
        Fight me.

      • kinnath

        I like Twilight Zone better.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Ace of Spades

      • blackjack

        That’s just way too broad of a statement. Here’s a great one right here. There’s a never ending parade of more.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Ace of Spades is on my list of bar juke box songs.
        #1 is Stranglehold for its awesomeness and length

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Well that’s a great head bopping white boy song for sure

      • Tejicano

        It kinda depends on the length of the drive.

        LAX to San Diego? Yeah, that’s really good.

        LAX to Albuquerque? It kinda wears thin after a while.

      • Plinker762

        Getting a lap dance to Stranglehold (the song you perv.), fond memories.

      • Plinker762

        Mean Man

      • kinnath

        Too many to link: TWO LANE BLACKTOP

        Dragula

        Thunder Kiss ’65

        Black Sunshine

      • BakedPenguin

        Thunder Kiss ’65

        underappreciated gem.

      • Mojeaux

        Dragula, yes.

        Radar Love, yes.

        Eastbound and Down, yaaaasssssss

      • Hyperion

        Damn, that song Thunderkiss 65 is totes badass.

      • blackjack

        Highway Star beats all those others by an unspeakable margin.

      • BakedPenguin

        Wait – they love Queen, but hate Meatloaf?

        ‘One operatic rock performer is great, the other is horrible!’

      • DEG

        One is American, one isn’t.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      My elementary school music teacher made us sing that every year for recitals.

      • Chafed

        My condolences.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        We did You Light Up My Life. I still know the words!

      • Tejicano

        We all have our regrets over things we’ve wasted neurons over.

      • straffinrun

        “Hymen has broooken,”

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Ha that goes great with Crimson and Clover

      • Tejicano

        “Like a Faasuto Baajin (ファーストヴァージン)”

    • blackjack

      Here’s one for Biden.

      • westernsloper

        “looking for a hard headed woman who will make me be my best whose hair smells the best…….”

      • Fourscore

        /joe biden

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Sticky Fingers

      • straffinrun

        Joe is attending George Floyd’s funeral, right? I wanna splice that video of Joe telling the guy in the wheel chair to”Stand up so everyone can see you! Oh, what am I talking about” against George’s casket.

      • blackjack

        He’s gonna tell them that people who don’t vote for him are in no danger from the police, my guess.

  3. DEG

    Sounds like musings on life.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      And Geology,

    • westernsloper

      JFC I am having a hard time keeping track of all the asshats who have lost all credibility with this shit. That is some kind of BS there.

    • Tejicano

      It’s difficult to follow why anybody would push the line that there are unknown problems with a drug which has been in widespread use worldwide for longer than most of us have been alive. Yes, there are issues with high doses but those levels have been well understood since the initial roll-out of this drug.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, there’s research, and then there’s woke research. Woke research is obviously right since all results are based on getting rid of bad orange man.

  4. Ayn Random Variation

    I liked it

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Thank you

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t care for Amash but this is ultimately a good thing even though it stands a snowballs chance in hell of passing. Hopefully the Supremes are about to curb it but I wouldn’t hold my breath there either.

      • CPRM

        Just check and make sure there isn’t a rider there denouncing Orangeman Bad as the cause before you praise it.

      • Hyperion

        It won’t say orangemanbad. I will say ‘systemic racism’ and will have an unimaginable amount of leftist bullshit stuffed into it.

        The fact that Amash believes he can work with a member of the cunt squad and achieve anything good is the last fucking straw in me writing him off, forever. Fuck him.

      • Hyperion

        “don’t care for Amash but this is ultimately a good thing”

        Sure it is, which is why it won’t happen. Neither party wants it.

      • creech

        Won’t happen? But we’ve been told there’s a hundred million earnest folks marching in the streets all this week to make sure something like this bill happens. You seriously mean to tell me that their reps in Congress will ignore this because they can count on the votes of these same hundred million earnest folks no matter what shitstains they happen to be?

  5. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Heh, Michael Malice is going to do the Cadbury Creme Egg challenge tomorrow live (on YouTube I guess). I’d much prefer to try that with real eggs, those Cadbury Cremes are so sweet they hurt my teeth.

    • CPRM

      Cadbury Creme Egg challenge

      I don’t know what that is, and I don’t care. Stupid things are stupid. Film at 11.

    • CPRM

      For the few minutes I was in the car today I heard Tiki and Tierney freaking out that some college FB players came back and *gasp* had THE VIRUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They gonna kill all the people!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can we ever have sports again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        OFFS

    • blackjack

      I hope you didn’t watch that whole fucking thing! I am just not that interested in what the future baristas of america are facing.

      • commodious spittoon

        Supposedly, the bullshit would stop when the college kids meet the real world. Well, they’re taking over the real world. They’re remaking the real world after their Red Guard nightmare.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Eventually, the need to produce and generate a profit overtakes the bullshit. We’re so fat on debt that we have deprioritized the basics.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Interesting guy. Thanks

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    Oh Shit! Dan Carlin just put up Supernova in the East part 4, 4 hours of God make it stop, I’ll need to put aside some time for it,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdEkgp667Uw

  7. kinnath

    what should I write about next?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      How to trap rabbits….

      • kinnath

        Not into hunting or trapping. That’s Animal’s domain.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I was talking of the vermin that kills your trees, I like trees

      • kinnath

        Rabbits are just being rabbits. My job is to keep them away from the apple trees.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        And a Tasty Coney Stew! with Taters!
        /Sam Gamgee approved

      • BakedPenguin

        Fix me Hassenfeffer right now!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      What should I write about next?

      • pistoffnick

        1) Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll
        2) The proper way to woo women
        3) How to live freely in an un-free world

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’ll start with number 3, simpler

      • DEG

        Parts of number 1 aren’t that hard.

      • Tejicano

        If the first part of number 1 isn’t hard you’re doing it wrong.

      • CPRM

        Don’t tell his body how to biology you science denier!

      • Tejicano

        I’ve heard words assembled like that before. Am I supposed to admit to being a racist now or is there some other incantation which proceeds that?

      • DEG

        I’m not getting laid now.

      • Plinker762

        3) Either have enough money to pay off the officials or have no money so it costs the money to hassle you.

    • Chafed

      Amateur porn.

  8. Tejicano

    31 years ago today* one man with a couple shopping bags faced down a line of tanks on a Beijing street. His identity was never confirmed and there are various theories about what happened to him after that – I prefer the story that he was secreted out of the PRC and has been living working in Taiwan since then.

    * I say “today” because it happened on this side of the world where it’s already June 5th

    • CPRM

      He was Covid Patient Zero; the world now agrees he should be memory-holed.

    • kinnath

      Just another looter

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Judging by the fact that no one’s come forward, credibly at least, he probably got disappeared into the Chinese prison system or was executed. I like the Taiwan story better too but if he was there he’d stand to make a mint from telling his story.

      • Tejicano

        He’d still be at risk in Taiwan unless he keeps it under wraps. The CCP would definitely “touch” him if he let the world know he got away.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It would be the Trotsky touch.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        A soothing ice pick to the temple?

    • pistoffnick

      Today is also the day Marvin Heemeyer finally had enough and took his dozer for a joy ride though Granby, Colorado.

      • Plinker762

        Everybody talks about a killdozer. I’d build an armored excavator. Doesn’t roll of the tongue as well but you can rip a dozer apart with one

    • pistoffnick

      Today was probably the last observance of the anniversary of Tiananmen Square in Hong Kong.

      • Tejicano

        It’s sad that the Hong Kong and Taiwan Chinese are probably the last of their kind who don’t reflexively bend the knee.

        See also ; Woke America

  9. westernsloper

    Thanks for the post Yusef. I too like the picture. I love that part of the greatest river on the planet. Ya, I called it that. Fight me!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The River gives, pleasure
      The River takes, your discs!
      I do love it here, no shutdowns or riots, and everybody says Howdy!

      • R C Dean

        Glad to hear you are happy, there, Yusef. You’ve had a hard road and deserve a place to rest.

    • straffinrun

      Ditto.

    • blackjack

      I’m in. Poetic musings, like liberty always elude me.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Come to AZ, the Wild West, we’are nice folks here
        LIBERTAD!

  10. westernsloper

    I am too tired to cook tonight so dinner is bagged salad with fish sticks. I spent all day fixing a fucking sprinkler line break that would not show itself. (a T broken on the bottom so shooting down not up and easily showing where the break was) Whatever asshole who decided to stop using hoses and sprinklers and put the damn things in the ground is asshole. Adios, fish sticks beckon.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      So, you like fish sticks?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Easy, Fish Dicks are OK, just ask what’s his name….

    • DEG

      Nice

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I bought the thing to run Bella, but I immediately knew I couldnt stay out of the park, so i bought new pads and helmet, and of course a new ZFlex Jay Adams Pool Deck,
        a proper vert deck, 9.5 x 32, 95a wheels and 6 tracks, THE setup

      • blackjack

        Man at my peak skating days, I had a yellow Jay Adams Z-flex with trackers and Kryptonics wheels. My friends fucked with me for riding an “enemy” board. I was with the northern crowd, Ventura on up. You were supposed to ride a Sims or a Santa Cruz, up there. I loved those days!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m an OG Badlander, the Dogtown boys fucked with us all the time at Pipeline skatepark, except Stacey, he was sly and found all our pools,

      • blackjack

        Stacey was only barely a Dogtowner. He never showed up with those guys and when you did see him he was cool AF. Tony, Jay, Bob and the rest were obnoxious punks Every single time.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Tony is just good, so he could be a dick, but Biniak? Fuck him, jay is just sad….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        oh yeah, the longboard is all Kryptonics, Sweet!

      • Rhywun

        I don’t think I laid eyes on a skateboard between 1982 or so and 1997 (the year I lived in California).

    • CPRM

      Is Galactus real? We need Galactus to just end it all.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      LMAO You hate to see it.

      His sin was titling an article “Rioting and Looting aren’t helping.”

      That’s all it takes to get the Twitter version of a ThoughtCrime Tribunal breathing down your neck. Wow.

    • one true athena

      Yeah, poor guy, they’re probably waterboarding him right now at Vox for wrong-think.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        And he was soooo close to making sense, too. But the Wokerati must never think for themselves but let the HiveMind guide them!

  11. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    Necro-post from previous thread about the rioting in France:

    ***

    “Article: George Floyd’s death has reignited anger over the death of Adama Traoré, a black man who died in police custody in France four years ago.”

    Why would French people, even if they shared the same skin color, care about a murder in the United States?

    I love how the Prog media is acting like these riots aren’t also heavily predicated on tons of people pissed about having their jobs taken away from them by the government and forced isolation AND the fact that we are all being taken advantage of by Commie pukes stirring up shit so they can LARP that its 1917 all over again.

    • CPRM

      It started in Tunisa

      After Mohamed Bouazizi, a Tunisian street vendor, killed himself in January 2011, Tunisians took to the streets. Bouazizi had been harassed by police officers who attempted to shut down his business with no recourse, and his suicide by self-immolation galvanized Tunisian protesters. They demonstrated against government corruption and Tunisia’s autocratic president, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali. A month later, after 23 years in power, he fled to Saudi Arabia.

      And then Obama let some guys ass rape Gaddafi to death and blamed it on a jewish film maker. What difference at this point does it make?

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Yeah that the Left and Media (but I repeat myself) let Obama get away with destroying Libya LESS THAN A DECADE AFTER IRAQ is infuriating. But they’re totes different, because reasons.

      • Chafed

        Obama had good intentions. That makes it right.

    • blackjack

      Those guys should really start worrying about anti-trust laws. They have a monopoly on actual humor recently.

    • kinnath

      1) burn it down

      2) buy guns, cause no one is coming to help you (which may be better anyway)

      • Drake

        Does anybody remember NYC 30 years ago? When I moved to LA in ’92, they would report gang casualties on Monday morning like it was Vietnam.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Their future playbook is clear:

        1. Bail out the abandoned Prog strongholds with taxpayer money

        2. Embezzle the money so that the areas never become revitalized.

        3. Next President to the Right of Mao, riot and burn down what little remains.

        4. Repeat ad infinitum.

      • commodious spittoon

        I already suspect a good number of Dems, and probably more than a few pubs, have clandestine ties to China, and going forward they want nothing more than to bankrupt our country and pull their ripcords. There’s not a whiff of loyalty among the lot of them.

      • slumbrew

        You give them far too much credit – nobody has thought that far ahead.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      LMAO this literally does nothing. They still have their giant pensions and all their military hardware.

      The Left is so brain-dead it’s incredible.

      • Drake

        If they defund the police, who will take me the camp when my social credit score goes negative?

      • Jarflax

        The Red Guards of course.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Their Intersectional Brigades are said to be fearsome fighters.

      • DEG

        SSSSHHHH!!!!!!

      • Tejicano

        We’ll defeat them with mean looks and harsh language!

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        We will use centrist op-eds as our greatest weapon. Their Triggering will know no bounds! They will try to commit mass hari-kari before realizing its cultural appropriation and finishing each other off.

    • straffinrun

      We should pay cops less so we can get rid of the greedy, lazy ones and be left with only the sadists and psychos.

    • blackjack

      Nobody can so easily force a mayor to give them money as easily as the police. The mayors are just paying a ransom. In a few months it’ll all be restored. That money is not gone.

    • one true athena

      The vague proposal I saw for Minneapolis (it was in twitter comments, so not exactly developed) but runs something like: close up the PD, then form a sort of agency based policing – so traffic would be its own, domestic violence would be through social workers, organized crime through a taskforce.

      Which, in theory, I could support? Smaller, more responsive law enforcement sounds promising. But. My trouble is that I don’t believe any of the shitheads who want it (including Ellison’s son) aren’t going to make it into the Red Guards, because that’s who they are.

      • blackjack

        We need to drastically curtail traffic enforcement. It has nothing to do with traffic safety. It’s main purpose is revenue. It’s other main purpose is to harass people in the hopes of busting someone who the cops think deserves it. Everyday at our courthouse, thousands of people take the day off work and go get jacked out of 5-600 bucks. For nothing at all. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! A cop can make a ticket stick almost no matter what. I fight all of mine and mostly win when the cop doesn’t show up. If they were serious about protesting police abuse, they’d just organize a “plead not guilty” drive. It would cripple the system if 10-20 percent of them pled not guilty and demanded trials. They’d have to rethink things real quick.

      • slumbrew

        It’s clear you live in LA 😀 You sound like Adam Carolla.

        I hear tell of lands where the cops don’t hassle you over driving, unless you’re being an egregious dickhead.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, Corolla is a local. I think he grew up in North Hollywood.I went to New York in around 1990. I was shocked by how nice the cops were. They’d walk up and as I was stressing out guessing what they were try and jack me for, they’d say ” you’re not from around here? Well, welcome and let us know if you need anything.” I was like those ain’t cops, no way!

      • slumbrew

        Yep, he’s a North Hollywood guy.

        It’s amazing how relentlessly shitty LAPD is.

      • straffinrun

        That’s game theory in a nutshell. No way you get them to do it IOW.

      • Viking1865

        I would say, for the mega huge departments, splitting them up would make a ton of sense. There’s 100,000 people who live in Harlem. There can be a Harlem PD, funded by Harlem property taxes, with a police chief hired by a board of Harlem residents, with jurisdiction limited to Harlem. They can recruit from within the community, they can police according to community norms. They can have little cop shops like they do in Japan, spread out through the neighborhood. Real community policing.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Yeah we know that there are a number of common sense reforms that we could feasibly implement.

        But we are gonna do Marxism instead, got it? Be a team player!

      • Rhywun

        They can have little cop shops like they do in Japan, spread out through the neighborhood. Real community policing.

        I like that idea.

        The funding cuts are a cynical ploy to hop on the woke bandwagon while in reality a reflection that city budgets are fucked in the ass. Though, TBH I was expecting dramatic education cuts first, because children.

    • Urthona

      Who is going to seize the guns and force people to wear face masks?

    • Brochettaward

      You don’t need to subscribe to read the article…?

  12. Brochettaward

    NFL players are super cereal about the NFL condemning police racism. They made a video about it and everything:

    As monumental societal changes descends on our nation, words are becoming action. And a group of NFL players has put together a powerful 70-second video that sends a powerful message to America — and specifically to the National Football League.

    “It’s been 10 days since George Floyd was brutally murdered,” Saints receiver Michael Thomas says at the outset of the video.

    “How many times do we need to ask you to listen to your players?” asks Chiefs safety Tyrann Mathieu.

    “What will it take?” says Cardinals receiver DeAndre Hopkins.

    “For one of us to be murdered by police brutality?” asks Browns receiver Jarvis Landry.

    “What if I was George Floyd?” says Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson.

    “If I was George Floyd,” echoes Giants running back Saquon Barkley.

    “What if I was George Floyd?” asks Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr.

    And then the players, a who’s who list that also includes men like Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson, and Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliot, make these declarations, one at a time: “I am George Floyd. . . . I am Breonna Taylor. . . . I am Ahmaud Arbery. . . . I am Eric Garner. . . . I am Laquan McDonald. . . . I am Tamir Rice. . . . I am Trayvon Martin. . . . I am Walter Scott. . . . I am Michael Brown Jr. . . . I am Samuel DuBose. . . . I am Frank Smart. . . . I am Phillip White. . . . I am Jordan Baker.”

    Then comes the clear and unmistakable message to the NFL.

    “We will not be silenced. We assert our right to peacefully protest. It shouldn’t take this long to admit.

    “So on behalf of the National Football League, this is what we the players would like to hear you state: We, the National Football League, condemn racism and the systemic oppression of black people. We, the National Football League, admit wrong in silencing our players from peacefully protesting. We, the National Football League, believe black lives matter.”

    And so the ball is now in the NFL’s court. Will a clear statement be issued condemning racism, declaring that black lives matter, and most importantly affirming the right of peaceful protest — even if it happens during the national anthem?

    The clock is ticking.

    I’m sure if their empty demands aren’t met, these guys will really back up their talk and refuse to play or something that may actually require a sacrifice. Right? Right…?

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Realizing that the visible majority of your workforce has become milquetoast Marxists overnight has to be a bummer.

    • CPRM

      I was on their side before they were. But, fuckit. I’m sick of their privileged asses! The NFL has tried real hard to make me hate them the last 20 years, and I think they did it. Fuck Aaron Rogers and his gay condescending ass, but not in the way he’d like. NTTIAWT.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Aaron Rodgers is a prick whose own family doesn’t like him and who is toxic in his own locker room but now he’s a Great Man now because he is. a Right Thinker and so much nobler and better than that icky fascist Drew Brees, who is a monster for respecting the flag. Got it.

      • Stillhunter

        +1

    • straffinrun

      Putting Brown and Martin on that list shows what dishonest POS they are.

    • Rhywun

      I can’t wait to see how insufferable sports gets when it comes back.

      • peachy rex

        I have a feeling that my sports to follow are going to be rugby and cricket. And I have a feeling that I won’t be alone.

  13. LemonGrenade

    Enjoyed your article earlier, Kinnath and dream of having property where I can do the same some day.
    Yusef, thanks as always; I’d post some of my own poetry but all of it over the past five years has been bad limericks.
    And thanks for the rest of you for being the voice the of reason (drink!) keeping me from lobbing molotov cocktails at various state officials. I’ve been on the edge for the past week, and reading the comments here, plus knowing I’m leaving the state in another week is the only thing keeping me from a full on nervous breakdown.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      🙂

  14. Gustave Lytton

    Time to get rid of the Mensheviks. Next, the Trotskyites.

    https://www.wweek.com/news/city/2020/06/04/portland-protests-become-a-nightly-ritual-this-time-with-a-subdued-response-from-police/

    Another divide emerged between those who had access to bullhorns, and those who did not. Near 10 pm, some demonstrators talked into microphones and emphasized the importance of protesting peacefully, and of meeting with city leaders, including the police chief, to hash things out.

    But many demonstrators in the crowd disagreed with this tactic. They also questioned who the people were who were speaking into megaphones on behalf of the group.

    “Who sits down with a white supremacist?” a black protester said. “You will not co-opt our message! That is not our message.”

    Throughout the night, some protesters chanted the phrase “peaceful protest.”

    “If you’re white, shut the fuck up!” a black woman responded to that chant.

    • Brochettaward

      I thought I’d be ok with a one-term Trump. That 2016 was enough payback. But 2020? We need it even more than 2016. We need everyone on the left to feel absolute and utter despair after the shit they’ve pulled the last 4 years.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And then what about 2024? It’s somehow going to improve?

      • UnCivilServant

        Depends on how much burns down between now and then.

        For the right plants, ashes make decent fertilizer.

      • Mojeaux

        For the right plants, ashes make decent fertilizer.

        Stealing.

      • Brochettaward

        The slate will be relatively clean. Their coup attempt would have failed. Their propaganda would have failed. And you’d just have a natural likely pendulum shift that is typical of American politics if the Dems win. So they can be triumphant for a little while again. But 4 years of misery hasn’t been enough. Not by a long shot.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Where do they go, rhetorically speaking, if Trump wins again? How do go bigger than “My opponent is Literally Hitler!!1!!”

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t know, but damn it…I deserve to find out.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        I think that there are two options if that happened.

        One: Cooler heads miraculously prevail and everyone realizes he will be gone in 2024 and calms down.

        Two: A wave of mass hysteria and violence (including assassination attempts) that makes his first term look like child’s play and spark open conflict.

      • blackjack

        It’s more likely than not. People don’t like looting, burning and killing. They like the guy who said he’d do whatever it takes to stop all of that. All these squishy mayors and governors paying ransoms and begging them to please be friends, after they bullied all the citizens and business owners for months. There’s not going to be a president Biden or his VP.

      • commodious spittoon

        (including assassination attempts)

        Caesar Trump is quickly followed by Caesar Rand Augustus. The First Libertarian Empire is built and demolished in the same day.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        The exploding heads will be something to see.

    • commodious spittoon

      “If you’re white, shut the fuck up!” a black woman responded to that chant.

      Please do. You’ve done enough damage.

  15. slumbrew

    My virtue-signalling douchebag of a mayor has declared “Systemic Racism a Public Safety and Health Emergency “; upon hearing that I braced my colon, but it’s not quite as bad as I feared… yet.

    https://www.somervillema.gov/policereform

    civilian review board – OK, in theory, but they’ll be picking the “right kind of civillians”
    reducing the police union’s power a bit
    some toothless “calls for…” changes at the state level
    body cameras
    redirecting state asset forfeiture funds – they already don’t take funds unless there’s a conviction (they say).
    no more military weapons – but I’ve never seen a one, we don’t have any MRAPs, etc. Just grandstanding.

    I am, however, worried about the “declared emergency” bit – what else will be justified, later on?

    • Chafed

      Anything they want.

  16. commodious spittoon

    Somebody keeps putting vodka in my ice tea drink.

  17. Plinker762

    Yippee, It’s 9pm and I just finished a Zipline foundation drawing package. Time to drive home. At least I have a music selection to listen to now.

  18. mikey

    Forget police reform and systemic racism. Can we please do SOMETHING about the scourge of video recording in portrait mode?

    • slumbrew

      I blame the youths.

      • commodious spittoon

        What’s a “youth”?

      • slumbrew

        Forgive me: the yoooothes-a.

      • slumbrew

        I caught the second-half of that movie recently – holds up quite well.

        Tomei is lovely and funny.

        “Oh, you’re a smooth talker, you are, you are!”

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Remember the film camera era when some people would shoot portraits in landscape mode? People is lazy.

  19. Stillhunter

    I’ve been forcing the kids (age 10, 11, 13) to watch the movies I grew up with. Two nights ago we watched Smokey and the Bandit. They were skeptical, especially my daughter, the youngest. But tonight she asked if we could watch part 2. Progress!
    We have amazon prime. After the movie my home screen suddenly had black history and social justice documentaries along with a big banner for social justice. Fuck these people. I don’t need to be preached to. I’m seriously considering canceling prime and never using amazon again, which is heartbreaking since it is such a great service. Why do these fuckers have to ruin everything?

    • Rhywun

      I’m at the point where I just ignore it. It’s everywhere, what are you gonna do besides move into a cabin in the woods?

      • Stillhunter

        If it were just me, I’d be there. We’re already as close as you can be without actually living in a cabin.

        I’m not an activist and I don’t virtue signal on social media, so all I can do is vote with my wallet. The added benefit is a simpler existence and more money staying in my pocket.

      • commodious spittoon

        There’s family land up in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, with electricity and water but not enough to grow anything but alfalfa, and not nearly enough of that to live on. That’s escape, I guess. I don’t relish it.

      • Stillhunter

        I’m not saying I’d shun society. Going completely self-sufficient is not realistic. But, shit has gone completely haywire. It feels like we’ve gone past the standard old guy yelling at the clouds generational stuff. But recently someone brought up the 60s and all the crap that happened then. I hope cooler heads somehow prevail and we come out of this relatively unharmed, but I’m not really optimistic.

      • commodious spittoon

        I want to think these lunatics are social justice day trippers, but they’re so cosseted from reality, I’m not sure they’re capable of recovery. Except their reality isn’t ours, and they have real money behind their cause. We have the promise of status quo, which is a lot better than starving peasantry, but we don’t offer panacea.

    • PieInTheSky

      10, 11, 13 – should have spaced them out more. Sounds unpleasant to have a bunch like that when they are all small. Then again they all grow up and you are done faster.

      • Stillhunter

        They were (and are) a handful. But since I was 34 when we had the first one, I didn’t want to space them out too much. I’m already past prime for dealing with kids. In my opinion the sweet spot for having kids is mid 20s. Still enough energy to handle the craziness, but old enough to have burnt off most of your stupidity.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        25 and 28, I’m glad they are old enough to deal with now, they are 31 and 28 now, still idiots, but my idiots…..

    • KSuellington

      When I was ten we were allowed to take the bus five miles away to see the movies on our own. We’d take in Karate Kid, Back to the Future, Rocky 4, good wholesome fare. When my grand aunt died, after the funeral we somehow convinced my drunk Irish uncle to take us to see Beverly Hills Cop. He grabbed a couple tall boy Buds (hey Yusef) on the way to the drive ins and possibly swore more than Eddie Murphy that night on the way there and back.

  20. one true athena

    I just spent fifteen minutes on the phone humiliating myself with fraud prevention for my credit card because it looked like too many amazon charges and I freaked out (my mom has been battling actual no-shit account stealing so I’m a bit… wary). Did I use addition to figure out they all added up to what I actually bought? why no, no I did not.

    Sigh. At least all is well, though. That was a terrible feeling to look at the statement and go “those aren’t mine. shit.”

    • gbob

      That sounds like a person regretting drunkenly buying some real freaky sex toys. “I swear, I never ordered a goat and a gimp mask! The charges aren’t mine!”

  21. PieInTheSky

    It is a new day at the old home office (aka my spare bedroom) and it is just like all the others. Oh well.

    Good morning gliberati

    • slumbrew

      Happy Blursday.

      • commodious spittoon

        You know what day it is? They’re all just tally marks on the wall…

      • slumbrew

        Every day is Blursday.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I thought it was Wednesday til about noon,

      • commodious spittoon

        That’s what they’d have recorded the day after.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s all become a blur of Drunkenness, the days and nights are one smear of heated air….

    • slumbrew

      I think that’s normal for Arizona.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’ll be out at 5, and play til 10, then go hide, 114 today,yikes!

  23. Unreconstructed

    So, to add my “Production Horror” story to the earlier thread (‘cuz I wanna commiserate):
    Back in 2010 or so, I was working on a project to move all the blog sites of a certain nationwide news publisher (rhymes with Burst) to a single WordPress instance. This was set up on multiple servers running Apache. As I was the “most qualified” Apache person (not only on the consulting team I was on, but in the whole building, including the client’s infrastructure team), I was in charge of setting up the configuration files for the (two) servers behind the load balancer.

    I screwed up…gave the infrastructure guys the same config file for both servers, even though they should have had different IP address info for the second server. The infrastructure guys, knowing even less than I did, approved the change, and moved the files to the production servers. Now, under *normal* circumstances, this would have caused clients hitting the second (incorrectly configured) server to get an error message. However, unbeknownst to me, the client developer who had originally set the WordPress instance up had been developing in production. So the misconfigured second server sent readers looking for chron.com (yeah…y’all have seen that domain name) blogs to mysa.com (probably not that one). Needless to say, there was some major consternation over this.

    Took me about an hour from deployment to fix…but *damn* did I catch heat over that…even though a big part of the issue was the client’s dumbass developer working in prod, on a config file I *didn’t* touch…

    • PieInTheSky

      Politicians/press on one’s lawn are worse than kids

  24. gbob

    5 in the morning, my girlfriend comes into the bedroom, sloppy drunk. Wakes me up, gets frisky, then starts fighting halfway through some loving. I decide to sleep in the guest bedroom. Just about ready to fall back asleep when a line of 30 cars, honking horns and playing with bullhorns, drives by celebrating their graduation.

    Plus I’m out of coffee, despite remembering buying a bag yesterday. Did I leave it in the car? Nope. Must have left it in the self check out line.

    Worst morning ever.

    It’s a Fuck You Friday, to be sure.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Realizing that you left something you paid for at the grocery store too late to get it back is infuriating.

    • Gender Traitor

      Dude, SOOOO sorry, especially about the coffee. Hope you’re within staggering distance of a McD’s or Timmy’s. Heck, even convenience store coffee will do in a pinch.

    • PieInTheSky

      at least you have a girlfriend

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      I’m sorry, dude. Skip the coffee and go straight to alcomahol?

  25. Not an Economist

    This may be false but the Mayor of DC may be trying to kick the National Guard out of DC by invoking the 3rd amendment of the Constitution. I’m not sure she can kick the guard out of motels the City does not own but it may be the first application of the 3rd amendment in the nations history.

    • UnCivilServant

      Nope. During a Prison Uprising in New York, the guard was sent in and quartered in prison-owned housing. The corrections officers who normally lived there sued and won on 3rd amendment grounds.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sorry, it was a CO Strike not a prison uprising.

        Though it appears they lost.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::glances through article at link:: There’s that dreaded “qualified immunity” again.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Does it actually apply here? There’s enough federal property to house them in DC with no issues I would think.

      • Plinker762

        They could house them at the Lincoln Memorial

      • UnCivilServant

        I would have gone with the halls of congress.

      • Plinker762

        I was playing off Lincoln’s actions.

    • PieInTheSky

      I remember there was a 3d amendment case when the FBI or something wanted to take over a house for surveillance on the house next door

  26. UnCivilServant

    Heh. I have 1,111 deleted items (mostly automated messages with short relevancy)

    I need to wake up more if that’s amusing.

  27. JD is in the United Karendom

    Again I enjoyed your fantastic wordsmanship, Yufus. Thank you for sharing. It’s 2020 so sex tentacles aren’t really that weird by contemporary standards.

  28. Sean

    Penguin cam.

    Mornin’ y’all.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Seanin’, Morn. I do enjoy some captive penguin voyeurism.

      It’s weird Friday. Yusef has set the tone.

    • UnCivilServant

      Must be snowing, I get a blank white rectangle

      /javascript disabled.

      • Plinker762

        Racist penguins social signaling white lives matter?

    • Raven Nation

      Dang! I was hoping they had Go Pros strapped on the penguins’ heads.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Sean. I’ll see your penguin cam and raise you an otter cam.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *considers employing shitter-cam, thinks better of it*

  29. Gender Traitor

    Well, I just came across one bit of (personal) good news: my high school reunion has been postponed until next summer. One more year to lose weight and try to make something of my life!

    • Festus

      I went to my 30th. Just the same as at my 10th I did not comport myself well. Avoid at all costs, GT.

      • Gender Traitor

        I only care about seeing my small “gang” of (then) close friends. Since our last reunion, our HS building has been torn down and replaced, my (then) best friend (now living in TX) lost her husband to cancer, and saddest of all, one of the “gang” (a guy) was murdered. It’ll be good to see the survivors whenever the reunion happens.

      • Festus

        I get that, I was just being “glib” as is my wont. It can be fun until the liquor flows and your partner starts feeling left out. I was drunkenly oblivious to the fact that I was getting hit on all night. Dancing with every woman there except for Wifey(s) was another No-No. And I Oop…

      • Festus

        Susan. Her name is Susan and she was the one that had both Wives, former and present ready to break out the rusty tin-can lids. Thank Heaven for comfy couches… and marital restraint.

  30. Sean

    https://www.heraldnews.com/news/20200603/fall-river-man-charged-with-assaulting-elderly-trump-supporter-held-without-bail

    Assaulting an 82 year old. What a piece of shit.

    “Courtright put his car in park and exited his vehicle,” reads a press release from Fall River police. “Courtright then walked towards the victim while screaming, ’Give me the f—ing sign!” Courtright then forcefully ripped the sign out of the victim’s hands, ripped it in half, and threw it on the ground. Courtright then went after the victim, grabbing him by his shirt, knocking his hat off, and throwing him violently to the ground. While the victim was on the ground, Courtright continued the attack by kicking him in his ribs and legs. Courtright violently kicked the victim with his leather pointed shoes.”

    • PieInTheSky

      doughnuts are probably the unhealthiest food possible so use moderation

      • gbob

        How dare you.