Wednesday Afternoon Links – A Rollercoaster of Conflicting Emotions edition

by | May 20, 2020 | Daily Links | 202 comments

How Police Turn Teens Into Informants

Dumb teen does something dumb, drives drunk and totals his car. Then the bullshit begins:

I was served probably the next day with the infraction, with notice to appear in court—it was an OWI, operating while under the influence, infraction.

So there was a meeting. I can recall it being in the basement of the old police station. You walk down the stairs, the door gets shut—it was probably a witness room of some kind. It was cold, the chair was hard, and my hands were sweaty, and I was probably shaking, my teeth were chattering. I don’t even remember if my attorney was present.

It’s hard to sum this up because the conversation is all over the place. They use the kid to go after a completely harmless local stoner just because they could.

You should really read it. I’ll make you hot-white with rage.


‘Hot’ nurse disciplined for wearing bra and panties under see-through PPE gown

A nurse in Russia was suspended from the hospital where she worked in Tula, 100 miles south of Moscow, after she arrived at her shift in the all-male coronavirus patient wing with no clothing save for her skivvies under her transparent personal protective equipment.

The unidentified staffer told her managers at Tula Regional Clinical Hospital that she was “too hot” to wear clothing underneath the head-to-toe vinyl gown, which protected her from contracting COVID-19. The incident was first reported by a local news outlet, the Tula Pressa newspaper.

While there were reportedly “no complaints” from her patients, hospital chiefs punished the nearly nude nurse for “non-compliance with the requirements for medical clothing.” The nurse claimed she did not realize that her underwear was showing through the PPE.

In these concerning, uncertain, troubled, unprecedented, trying times, let the nurse wear whatever the hell she wants. Is this really the Russia of shirtless Putin on a white stallion?


FOOT ZEALOT!

Help! My Girlfriend Is a Foot Zealot, and I’m Failing Her Standards.

Q. Smells causing yells: My girlfriend and I moved into a one-bedroom apartment last year, so we’ve had lots of time to adjust to each other’s habits before the pandemic started. We are having a repeated fight and not making progress in one area: foot hygiene. She is pretty obsessive about it. She takes off her shoes before she enters the apartment, then immediately washes her feet in the bath to make sure they don’t smell. I, on the other hand, take off my shoes and then go about my business—making dinner or whatever. My girlfriend is very sensitive to smells and says the smell of my feet is extremely displeasing to her. This has occurred regardless of how much I sweat that day. She can even smell my feet if I immediately put on clean socks. Prudence, I love this woman, but I cannot live for the rest of my life having to wash my feet every time I come home from any errand. Am I being unreasonable? Is there another solution to this issue besides one of us just caving to the other’s living habits? Please advise.

This is exactly where the crazy/hot calculation comes into play, a calculation men ave been making since the dawn of time, striking a balance between the amount of crazy and the total hotness rating which is based on a number of factors but pretty much boils down to attractiveness and willingness to have sex with our hapless male.

Without a description of the foot zealot–or better yet an objective photograph taken in good lighting by a disinterested third party–we cannot help the man in the letter. She’s already scoring quite high on the crazy scale, so she better be gorgeous and/or some sort of brutally efficient sex nightmare.

And as for the lovely, gentle souls who say, “Why not date a girl who isn’t crazy at all?” you’ll find they always have a boyfriend, have always had a boyfriend, and immediately get a new boyfriend as soon as they’ve ditched the last one.


Speaking of:

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

202 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “I don’t even remember if my attorney was present.”

    I’m guessing he was still intoxicated?

    • SugarFree

      They talk about him probably suffering from a concussion from the wreck.

      • bacon-magic

        You were correct that article was rage inducing as well as garbled.

  2. Count Potato

    “‘Hot’ nurse disciplined for wearing bra and panties under see-through PPE gown”

    Disciplined how? Did it involve nipple clamps and a riding crop?

    • grrizzly

      She received a warning. That’s it.

      • Ted S.

        That article calls it a swimsuit, I believe.

        LOL.

      • grrizzly

        Yep. The photo quality is not good enough to refute this description.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      “Is it just me, or is it hot in here?”

    • R C Dean

      Let me just say that you don’t want to put just any nurse in that outfit. They got lucky.

      • The Last American Hero

        Apparently you’ve never seen hospital documentaries like ER. They range from solid wood to underwear model wood.

  3. Count Potato

    “She can even smell my feet if I immediately put on clean socks.”

    She sounds like a dog.

  4. Certified Public Asshat

    The nurse claimed she did not realize that her underwear was showing through the PPE.

    I really wanted to support her, but come on.

    • Suthenboy

      I can support her. Not because she is nearly naked and hot but because she gives the finger to people that demand compliance. Now that’s hot.

    • The Other Kevin

      Maybe she was bored due to all the empty beds and didn’t have a Tick Tock account.

    • SDF-7

      Her support came in just under the wire, I’d say.

      • I. B. McGinty

        I see what you did there.

    • Florida Man

      I get professionalism, but she is no more nude than a girl in a bathing suit.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yup.

        Still, if you’re in the hospital, you don’t expect shots from a woman in a bikini and plastic bag.

      • Florida Man

        Expect? No. Want? Yes.

      • Rebel Scum

        But it could have given the old man a heart attack, which would then clearly be another Covid death.

      • Naptown Bill

        I don’t expect a complimentary martini in the waiting room either but I won’t turn one down.

      • R C Dean

        you don’t expect shots from a woman in a bikini and plastic bag.

        Hmm.

        *fires off email to “Patient Experience Suggestion” inbox*

    • Rebel Scum

      I’d say she deserves a raise.

      • Animal

        I bet she already got a few.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I can get behind her.

    • leon

      I. Love. This. World.

    • The Other Kevin

      I think Sheldon from Big Bang could come up with better insults.

    • B.P.

      Doggy doo on shoes? She’s reciting from Biden’s phrase book now.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If Trump tweets something along the lines of her face looking like rigor mortis has set in I’ll volunteer for his campaign.

    • SugarFree

      HILARIOUS Nancy Pelosi DESTROYS Donald Trump in tight five for The Comedy Cellar!

      • SugarFree

        Oops, sorry, I still have my Buzzfeed Headline app running.

      • bacon-magic

        Learn to code.

    • Tulip

      This is really dumb on her part. I’m going to assume she’s never heard the old saying about wrestling with a pig in mud. She cannot win this.

  5. Tundra

    Wow!

    The lynx today have been chock-full of Tundra’s musical favorites!

    I like it!

    There have been a series of botched informant operations in the last 10 years that follow the pattern of Nick Taiber’s story, only with far worse results. Rachel Hoffman in Tallahassee, Florida, in 2008 was arrested on marijuana and ecstasy possession, and threatened with very serious charges. In exchange for leniency, she agreed on doing a $13,000 drug and gun deal in a sting operation set up by the police. The police lost track of her, and she was shot in the head by the dealers. Andrew Sadek in North Dakota had a similar story: He was threatened with 40 years, so instead he started buying drugs for police at North Dakota State College of Science. Andrew disappeared and was found in a river with a gunshot wound to the head and a backpack filled with rocks. Andrew’s parents think he was murdered. The police say it was a suicide—Andrew’s way of trying to get out of his informant deal. His parents are still fighting the police in lawsuits to this day.

    OK, you did it. I’m experiencing rage.

    • leon

      The police lost track of her, and she was shot in the head by the dealers.

      Like Cuomo, Who are you going to sue. If we hold cops and police departments responsible for the people they send into dangerous situations, well then nothing will get done.

    • B.P.

      “Andrew disappeared and was found in a river with a gunshot wound to the head and a backpack filled with rocks. Andrew’s parents think he was murdered.”

      Check out Matlock over here.

      • Count Potato

        IKR?

    • R C Dean

      The police say it was a suicide—Andrew’s way of trying to get out of his informant deal.

      Two thoughts:

      The cops who made him a CI actually think that makes them look better?

      Of course, they immediately recovered the gun used in the suicide. It not like he shot himself in the head, disposed of the gun, and then went to the river. Right?

      • B.P.

        “Andrew’s way of trying to get out of his informant deal.”

        The no-good piker is just shirking his responsibilities!

      • Fatty Bolger

        It seems a bit excessive, but maybe I can use this to get out of my phone contract. I’ll let you know if it worked.

      • Fatty Bolger

        From wikipedia: While his family believes that he was murdered, the police labeled the case as a suicide in belief that he had killed himself to escape his role as a CI. However, the backpack that was attached to his body was filled with rocks and the weapon that was used for his death was never found, nor was there a suicide note.

      • Sean

        That’s some mighty fine detective work there.

      • Viking1865

        He put on a backpack full of rocks, walked into the river, and then shot himself? That’s their theory?

      • Mad Scientist

        No, that’s their story.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’d just put a hit on the cops.

      Can’t fight city hall, but you can…

    • Enough About Palin

      That was wonderful. Thanks!

  6. Count Potato

    “President Donald Trump on Wednesday threatened to withhold federal funds from Michigan as the state prepared for devastating floods after officials sent absentee ballot applications to all registered voters – as the state faced devastating floods.

    ‘Breaking: Michigan sends absentee ballots to 7.7 million people ahead of Primaries and the General Election. This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!,’ the president tweeted.

    The threat came as Michigan is facing rising flood waters that caused two dams to burst, forced the evacuation of 10,000 people and had Governor Gretchen Whitmer warn that one county could be ‘under approximately 9 feet of water’ by Wednesday.

    She has declared a state of emergency for Midland County and urged residents threatened by the flooding to evacuate the area. She said shelters have opened across the county and are available to those who need a place to go.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8340061/Donald-Trump-threatens-withhold-federal-funding-Michigan-braces-devastating-floods.html

    Was it illegal? Will everyone at the shelters be six feet apart? When will a cyborg clean up Detroit?

    • SDF-7

      Is Judge Nap thicc? Has he taken over the potato like GLADOS?

      • Ted S.

        Mister Nap. He’s no longer a judge.

      • bacon-magic

        Mr. Nap, TDS

    • Drake

      Just declare the Federal Emergency over. Done. No more money to anyone.

    • B.P.

      This is probably the first of numerous forthcoming incidents where a shelter-in-place order collides with a mandatory evacuation order.

  7. The Other Kevin

    That nurse story needs a Benny Hill-inspired joke.
    “Nurse reported for wearing only underwear and a see-through gown. Administrators promise to look into it.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Cue Yakety Sax

    • Gustave Lytton

      I must confess that’s along the lines I read “Hot’ nurse disciplined for wearing bra and panties under see-through PPE gown”. Obviously she shouldn’t have worn the bra and panties underneath.

      • SandMan

        My thoughts as well

      • Tejicano

        I dunno, they probably look ridiculous worn over the PPE gown…

      • Gustave Lytton

        See, I almost clarified that but thought nah…

  8. Rebel Scum

    make you hot-white with rage.

    That won’t be good for my blood pressure.

  9. kinnath

    I have fond memories of Moscow, summer, slavic women, and see-through tops.

    • bacon-magic

      Bernie?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Paul McCartney.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      #MeToo

  10. Florida Man

    SugarFree hat trick! Oh happy day!

  11. Rebel Scum

    nearly nude nurse for “non-compliance with the requirements for medical clothing.”

    What? All the good bits were covered. Just like with chick armor.

  12. KSuellington

    Can’t read the informant story as my rage meter has been solidly pegged at 11 for a couple months now. The only thing that has helped decrease is several pale ales, a bit of grass, and watching old episodes of Magnum PI.

    I support that health care worker.

    Great advice on the last one SF. That’s pretty much what it boils down to.

    I’m planning on going to the Sierras to fish and hang out with friends for the next couple weekends, so that should help. First one with the wife and kids and second with old school friends. Fuck the lockdown.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Am I being unreasonable?

    How hot is she?

  14. DEG

    She’s already scoring quite high on the crazy scale, so she better be gorgeous and/or some sort of brutally efficient sex nightmare.

    I think high enough that he needs to find another woman.

    • Tundra

      Absolutely.

      This is the tip of a nasty and expensive iceberg.

      Run away!

    • Naptown Bill

      Demanding that he wash his feet when he enters the room is probably the least horrible thing that awaits him if he sticks around.

  15. RAHeinlein

    Quinnipiac poll shows Biden leading Trump by 11 points:

    Former Vice President Joe Biden leads President Donald Trump by 11 points in a new national poll of registered voters focused on November’s presidential election. The survey from Quinnipiac University (https://poll.qu.edu/national/release-detail?ReleaseID=3661) shows Biden with 50% to Trump’s 39%, up from the 49% to 41% lead Biden held in an April 8 poll by the same university. The survey noted that more than two months into the coronavirus crisis in the U.S., Trump’s job approval rating is ticking lower. In an average of national polls from RealClearPolitics, Biden leads Trump by 5.6 points (https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2020/president/us/general_election_trump_vs_biden-6247.html). That average includes the Quinnipiac poll, which was taken May 14-18 and has a margin of error of plus or minus 2.7 percentage points.

    • Incentives Matter

      Obviously all future Presidential candidates will have to be either suffering from dementia or retarded. It’s the only way to level the playing field.

    • Fatty Bolger

      The less people see of Joe, the better his numbers will be. But they can’t keep him in witness protection forever.

      • leon

        Why not? The vast majority of presidents have been elected that way.

    • Rebel Scum

      Joe Biden leads President Donald Trump by 11 points in a new national poll of registered voters

      So this poll is irrelevant horseshit.

    • creech

      What do polls say in the toss-up states? Last one I heard for Penna. had Biden ahead by a bigger percentage than Clinton was ahead in 2016.
      It may be just as easy to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (just ask Gen. McClellan) as it is to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Polls don’t mean much yet but if Joe does manage to win we’re doomed. Not only are we likely to get federally locked down until a vaccine is developed, it’ll be hello President Whoever His VP Is before the midterm and all of the most likely picks are just authoritarian and awful.

      • Winston

        We can trust Joe Biden to be a crypto-libertarian like Clinton and Obama…

    • Urthona

      3 other polls came out today all below that 5.6 polling average in difference.

      • Hyperion

        Let’s all try to remember that at this point in the election in 2016, Hillary was up by 12-20 points and wondering why she wasn’t up by 50. Was 4 years ago really so long no one can remember this?

        And I’ll say this, the polls are wildly inaccurate even more today, because Trump supporters, in general will not talk to the media or will lie to them, even more so than 2016. Anyone who really believes Biden is ahead in the polls… I’ll just leave it at that.

        Also look at the betting odds, Trump has been up by almost 10 pts for a while. Do you think people who would actually risk their money is a more accurate indicator than the polls? Come on. There is no way in this universe Biden in beating Trump. He Will lose the electoral vote by more than Hillary did. And there’s nothing that is going to change this in Biden’s favor. You heard it there first.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    If Gretchen Whitmer says there will be nine feet of water, it’s probably not even worth putting your galoshes on.

    • Hyperion

      I would piss on her to increase the depth? I mean, I’m trying to come up with something different here.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Economy found in river, weighted down with rocks, shot in head

    The coronavirus pandemic could push as many as 60 million people into extreme poverty, the World Bank said on Tuesday.

    The warning suggests deepening pessimism among economists about the scale and duration of the fallout from what the bank described as an “unprecedented crisis.”
    The World Bank, which provides loans and grants to the governments of poorer countries, predicted a month ago that this year would mark a historic step back for inequality, with the pandemic “likely to cause the first increase in global poverty since 1998.”

    It said in a blog post on April 20 that its “best estimate” was that 49 million people would be forced into extreme poverty, which the bank defines as having to live on less than $1.90 per day.
    The worsening outlook is due to the outbreak shutting down economic activity and “erasing much of the recent progress made in poverty alleviation,” World Bank President David Malpass said in a statement.

    It was an accidental drowning.

    • B.P.

      It’s nice that someone with an impressive title has discovered that stifling economic activity leads to poverty.

    • commodious spittoon

      Economy found in river, weighted down with rocks, shot in head

      Only a Clinton could pull off a suicide like this.

    • Tundra

      I’ve been asking my proggies about this. It is amazing how they can handwave away millions of deaths, sol long as they can ‘trust the experts’.

      They really are immoral monsters.

      • Lady Z

        It’s easier to ignore consequences than to accept that one had a part in creating them.

    • Tonio

      “Economy found in river, weighted down with rocks, shot in head”

      I think we found our “Bee” plant, one of them anyway.

  18. Mojeaux

    You should really read it. I’ll make you hot-white with rage.

    No. No, no, no, and nope. Noping right out. Do not need rage today.

    • Tonio

      Sorry about your problem client from the previous thread. Ugh.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks. He’s going to look through the files again tomorrow. So now I wait. *sigh*

        Right now I’m treating myself as if I am my client and proofing Cods & Cuntes. I want to release the ebook on the 29th.

    • Tulip

      Yeah, not reading. I was having a good day.

  19. Fatty Bolger

    SpaceX just one week away from launching 1st astronauts on Crew Dragon for NASA

    SpaceX’s first crewed flight is just a week away.

    Elon Musk’s company is scheduled to launch Demo-2 next Wednesday (May 27), a mission that will send NASA astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley to the International Space Station (ISS) aboard a Crew Dragon capsule.

    The liftoff, atop a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket that will depart from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida, will mark the return of orbital human spaceflight to American soil after a nearly decade-long absence. The last such launch, in July 2011, kicked off the final mission of NASA’s space shuttle program.

    • Tonio

      Our absence from the crewed launch club has been shameful and noticeable. Wishing them the best.

    • bacon-magic

      Calling it “Operation Red Pill”.

  20. Gustave Lytton

    I find it humorous how quickly Latinx has spread, when it’s basically a giant FU to the Spanish language. So much for cultural sensitivity.

    • leon

      See also : native American, which most American Indians dislike.

    • R C Dean

      I still don’t know if its supposed to apply to all of them, or just to the ones who can’t look in their pants and figure out what sex they are.

      • The Last American Hero

        I just assume all of them.

    • Agent Cooper

      I believe a majority of Latinos aren’t down with Latinx.

      • The Last American Hero

        Tough shit. I’m going to keep using it until they grow a pair and tell their leaders to knock it off.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Stunning Upsets In Local VA Elections Could Spell Trouble For Dems In November

    These local anti-gun city council members had to run for re-election without the help of Michael Bloomberg running millions of dollars in campaign ads to bolster their campaigns, and without the financial largesse of the gun control movement’s billionaire sugar daddy, their efforts weren’t enough to overcome the surge in turnout by Second Amendment supporters.

    What does this tell us about how Virginia might vote this November? I’d say it’s good news for Republicans hoping to oust Rep. Abigail Spanberger in the 7th Congressional District, and could signal problems for the Rep. Elaine Luria in the state’s 2nd Congressional District as well. Both Democrats were elected in the 2018 blue wave election, but represent districts that have traditionally voted more conservatively. If gun owners turn out in November like they did in this week’s local elections around the state, they could have a decisive impact on a number of races in the state.

    Tuesday’s election results also demonstrate that the anger and pushback to Ralph Northam’s gun control agenda hasn’t dissipated or disappeared, and once his gun control bills become law on July 1st, I suspect that they’ll become an even bigger drag on Democrat candidates in much of the state. State legislators aren’t up for re-election in Virginia until 2021, but they too are paying close attention to this week’s election results, and the incredible turnout on the part of pro-2A voters may lead a few of the rural representatives to continue to take a more cautious approach to Northam’s future plans, which includes re-introducing a sweeping gun, magazine, and suppressor ban in the next legislative session.

    • Tonio

      Spanberger is a beltway insider, a swamp creature. If there was a deep state, she’d be one of its junior henchcritters. Definitely needs to go.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Tuesday’s election results also demonstrate that the anger and pushback to Ralph Northam’s gun control agenda hasn’t dissipated or disappeared, and once his gun control bills become law on July 1st, I suspect that they’ll become an even bigger drag on Democrat candidates in much of the state.

      The Dems aren’t slowing down. Here’s a list released by the Virginia Secretary of Homeland Security for 2021 legislative priorities for gun control in VA (from VCDL):

      • ban commonly-owned semi-automatic firearms and their magazines
      • restrict both concealed and open carry
      • pass so-called “safe storage” legislation
      • enact an onerous firearm permit-to-purchase scheme (aimed at minorities, this takes us back to the Jim Crow days)
      • attack Virginia’s restoration-of-rights procedure

      • Rebel Scum

        Yup. All egregiously and aggressively unconstitutional bs. They showed their hand already so I expect them to try again.

  22. Enough About Palin

    “a calculation men ave been making since the dawn of time”

    Why’d you go all Cockney on our ass?

    • SugarFree

      I keep having flashbacks to my time as a Dickisnsian chimney-sweep.

      • BakedPenguin

        Just don’t break out in song, and you’ll be fine.

      • Mad Scientist

        Revealed: SugarFree is Dick Van Dyke

  23. Naptown Bill

    So, at the risk of drugs falling out of my ass or poking the wrong bear or anything, have we had one of our regular discussions about vaccination, mandatory and otherwise, lately? Because it’s increasingly relevant, and given that almost every state government instituted some form of house arrest and business shutdown by executive fiat I don’t think it’s a stretch to see calls for mandatory covid vaccination.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      1) Polio and the measles are used in virtually every single fucking argument. It’s extremely disingenuous. Bailey pulled this crap repeatedly. Instead I’d like to seem someone argue in good faith why every newborn child, less than 24 hours, needs to receive a mandatory Hep B vaccination that protects from a disease communicable by intravenous drug use and sexual activity.

      2) The Hep B vaccine was previously only recommended for babies born to IV drug users. How many of the votes to add it the schedule came from consultants to the manufacturers? It’s exactly like people receiving payments from Pepsi-Co or Coca-Cola getting to vote on if purchases of soft drinks should be mandatory for every person shopping in a grocery store. Mandatory vaccines are massive business and the CDC is a revolving door to Big Pharma.

      3) Vaccines as a class are not some magic talisman that miraculously prevents disease without any downside. The adverse events are listed in the instructions for use that come with any vaccine. Some vaccines, such as for polio, have virtually no risk with incredible benefit. Other vaccines have detrimental side effects, including death, with a relatively minimal upside. Vaccines need to be evaluated individually based on the perceived risk versus benefits.

      • KSuellington

        When they tried to give my boys that two hours after they were born unsaid fuck no. I made a joke for the first that he would mt be having sex for at least five years. It was not well received. They tried to pressure us but I wasn’t having it. They all got it when they were two. It’s not like I’m an anti vaxxer by any stretch, but no way did they need to have their hours old bodies pricked by a needle. Fuck that noise.

      • BakedPenguin

        Regarding #3, this point is true on a lot of things, and it seems part and parcel of collectivization to lump disparate items together to blur the individual merits and problems therein.

      • Viking1865

        Yep.

        “No, I don’t think my prepubescent daughter needs the HPV vaccine yet. We’ll circle back to that a couple years down the road.”

        “FUCKING CRAZY SCIENCE DENIERS WHYCOME YOU WANT POLIO TO COME BACK?!?!?!”

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, in this case you might want to think about it. You can get HPV in other ways, particularly if you don’t wipe correctly. The younger she is, the more likely she’s not wiping correctly.

      • The Hyperbole

        SHUT THE FUCK UP, VAXTARD!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, at least I’m not a faxtard, faxtard.

      • Q Continuum

        This man knows his anuses, you should listen to him.

    • RAHeinlein

      I believe the vaccination conundrum will remedy itself once they mandate health workers receive first.

  24. Nephilium

    We should totally trust the state to keep everything safe. But they’re offering credit monitoring to make up for it, you know, since everyone at this point has free monitoring from one of the other data breaches anyway.

  25. Ted S.

    Don’t trust the CDC and you hate science.

    Trust “experts” who are wrong, and suddenly they’re Trump’s experts.

    Fuck the contemptible POS Cuomo.

  26. Ted S.

    I have a feeling something wasn’t supposed to happen until 8 PM.

  27. Incentives Matter

    Good God! SF’s fourth post of the day suddenly vapourized!

    Is it Hillary, come to exact her terrible revenge?

    • Lady Z

      Conspiracy theory confirmed.

    • SugarFree

      No, I just fucked up while I was writing it. I have some more work to do. It’ll will post at seven with all the comments that had already been already made. Sorry, everyone.

      • R C Dean

        The word you are looking for is “nikto”.

      • SugarFree

        The rest of them make fun of me when I mess up the schedule of posting.

      • Lady Z

        It’s the only way we can think of to feel superior.

      • SugarFree

        No, I mean the other founders. They are like a pack of feral 8th graders. So mean.

      • jesse.in.mb

        Hurtful.

      • Heroic Mulatto

      • SugarFree

        SEE?!?

      • Lady Z

        I will enjoy watching you exact your revenge.

      • leon

        Is there any other kind of eighth grader?

      • Agent Cooper

        WHAT ABOUT KLAATU AND BARADA?

      • Gustave Lytton

        All SF day? Truly these are end times.

  28. Heroic Mulatto

    • SugarFree

      She seems nice.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Get yourself a girl who’s willing to suck dollar store knock-off popsicles.

      • Count Potato

        I’m sure she was paid.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Have you seen the price of Uggs lately?

      • Count Potato

        I can’t say that I have.

      • SugarFree

        If she really loved you, she wouldn’t spit out the stick.

      • Q Continuum

        She swallowed the stick of Brian’s Haagen-Daaz when she was going out with him after all.

      • SugarFree

        That’s what Ashelerleighbeth told me in homeroom.

      • commodious spittoon

        Have some respect, that’s somebody’s daughter. Somebody’s sexy, dirty daughter.

      • R C Dean

        Does she have a sister? A sexy, dirty sister?

    • Mojeaux

      It’s awfully red. He should probably see a doctor about that.

      • SugarFree

        It’s actually a dog.

      • BakedPenguin

        If the pic is the reception it’s getting, I don’t think he’ll be doing that anytime soon.

  29. LJW

    Ouch!

    I like this new press secretary

    • Q Continuum

      Would so hard.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        She can set my record straight.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      She’s good and it’s incredible how badly they want hydroxychloroquine to be ineffective.

      • Winston

        Trump said good things about it so must be terrible. If he hated it then they would be slobbering all over it,

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Their reaction to it has been one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen.

    • SugarFree

      Everyone’s favorite humor site masquerading as a libertarian politics blog.

      I thought it was the other way around.

      • Heroic Mulatto

    • The Hyperbole

      Do I need a gaming setup with a joystick for this?

      • l0b0t

        Finally, no more slut shaming for playing Regeria Hope.

    • l0b0t

      Who is Taco Time?

      • commodious spittoon

        Tulpa, natch.

    • cyto

      If I had time to game, I’d totally join you. Instead, I’m LARPing as a professional wrestling judge. I have 3 kids in the house – and the older 2 are using each other to treat their boredom.

    • commodious spittoon

      I requested to join from my browser, but I can’t find the group through the Steam app. Are we shadowbanned already?

    • Ownbestenemy

      I sent an invite…i am…..drunk at a bar!

      • commodious spittoon

        Unpossible. Bars are closed. ARE YOU KILLING GRANDMA?!

      • Count Potato

        Go you!

  30. Apples and Knives

    Great tune, but I really love the album version that kicks off with two full choruses before ever hitting the first verse!

    My favorite from the same album:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4b-syoEgrU

    • B.P.

      Yes. This is the best song on the album.

    • BakedPenguin

      I got a 404 error.

    • The Hyperbole

      “gets”/”is stuck with” , odd ways to say “voted in.”

      • leon

        Is afflicted with?

      • BakedPenguin

        Good thing you’ve never had buyer’s remorse.

  31. Viking1865

    Is it sad how refreshing I found this simple statement of fact?

    I started the video at the right part for you: https://youtu.be/mzF2yJRCfss?t=35

    Like, that shouldn’t be a revelation, but I am reasonably sure a lot of people watching that video are either puzzled by it or diving into the comments to say ACHSHUALLY ANY SHORTAGES ARE CAUSED BY THE YANQUI IMPERIALISTS.

    • l0b0t

      If you’re ever in Tallahassee, FL, go to Gordo’s for Cuban sammiches and some delicious fritas and media noches.

    • Incentives Matter

      Went to Cuba back in 2013. (Canucks can do that without hassle.)

      Man, other than the tourist areas, that place really is a shithole, with the nicest people who do not deserve being treated like that.

  32. Sean

    Potato…tomato…

    ?‍♂️

  33. Spudalicious

    “Honey, it’s obvious that I’m too clumsy to adequately clean my feet. Given how sensitive your nose is, would you like to wash them and show me how to do it?”

    And I would never wash my feet again.

  34. Crusty Juggler
    • Lady Z

      Eh, that’s just how we try to keep the Californians out.

    • B.P.

      All of the really vicious hit-and-runs are done at a glacial speed.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      That’s some extreme Karening. Lean on the horn every time she starts screaming?

    • The Hyperbole

      I feel bad for Mike, this woman is definitely reporting him to his manager for not being at his post.