¡Jueves enlaces mexicanos para mañana!

by | May 21, 2020 | Daily Links | 497 comments

Buenos dias Gliber-ding-dong-diddly-inos!  Fun times in the desert, where we are experiencing unseasonably cool weather.  A damn shame for all those people still too afraid to go outside.

So here’s the links to start your day!

Venezuela gives Iranian vessels a naval escort in order to import…fuel.  No, seriously.

Speaking of Venezuela…it sounds nasty but blood is actually an excellent source of protein.

Not to make this totally about Venezuela but what the hell are these guys up to?

Here’s what they are up to.

If you think you are being attacked for being a nurse, there is an easy way to prevent that walking around town…

Alondra Torres, an ear, nose and throat specialist, had diluted bleach thrown over her on 13 April while walkingher dogs in the city of Guadalajara. She does not see Covid-19 patients in her clinic, but is convinced her uniform made her a target.

So take off your scrubs.

I’ll let somebody else be the guinea pig.

Sometimes you gotta stick with what you are good at.

No word if Brazilian Trump is also taking the drug.

Hoarders and wreckers.

 

Here’s some tunes.  Have a most excellent day.

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

497 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    Buenos dias Gliber-ding-dong-diddly-inos! Fun times in the desert, where we are experiencing unseasonably cool weather. A damn shame for all those people still too afraid to go outside. – well at least you are not in a drought

    • juris imprudent

      Only because they steal water as shamelessly as Californians.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Not exactly, AZ used a similar amount since the 1950’s in spite of a seven fold increase in population.

  2. Old Man With Candy

    Re: the Phoenix shooting, although it’s suspicious that Sloopy and I were out having beer, we have alibis. He was with me. I was with him. See?

    • AlexinCT

      Just tell them you were out with Clinton, Obama, or Biden and that’s the end of that story. They make you automatically above the law and turn the dnc operatives with bylines incurious about your doings immediately.

      • Pope Jimbo

        They could also run for president. That immunizes you against any investigations as well.

      • AlexinCT

        That’s a lot more work though, isn’t it? I know Bernie has cashed in doing that stunt a couple of times, but most of us are not that fucking OCD.

    • Fourscore

      So, you guys were cool?

      • Old Man With Candy

        We are the coolest of the cool kids.

  3. PieInTheSky

    Venezuela gives Iranian vessels a naval escort in order to import…fuel. No, seriously. – US sanctions finally managed to destroy another socialist country. Shame.

    • bacon-magic

      Socialism is bad mmmkay?

    • juris imprudent

      I was almost expecting this instead.

    • Fourscore

      I’ve combined it with gardening…

      • The Last American Hero

        Like some kind of warrior monk.

  4. PieInTheSky

    If you think you are being attacked for being a nurse, there is an easy way to prevent that walking around town…

    Alondra Torres, an ear, nose and throat specialist, had diluted bleach thrown over her on 13 April while walkingher dogs in the city of Guadalajara. She does not see Covid-19 patients in her clinic, but is convinced her uniform made her a target.

    So take off your scrubs. – blaming the victim?

    • Pat

      No, he just wants her to take off her scrubs.

    • Atanarjuat

      “This here is COVID-19 country!”

    • cyto

      Hot nurse attack didn’t happen.

      This opinion based on nothing more than hot nurse jumps on fad of the day. She’s hot. Nobody dumped bleach on the hot chick, yelling that she’s infected. You do that to the fat, ugly old chick. The hot chick makes up stuff like this for the attention.

      • Atanarjuat

        And she stole the diluted bleach idea from that French actor, Jussie Smollet.

      • tripacer

        Nurse: “And then he threw bleach on me!”
        Interviewer: “So it smelled like bleach? It wasn’t water?”
        Nurse: “Well, no.”
        Interviewer: “Ah. It must have been diluted bleach then.”

      • creech

        Not “Believe all women?”

      • PieInTheSky

        “Believe all women?” is an alt right trope. No one on the left really meant that in the past. Or so the left press tells me.

      • AlexinCT

        That died when Fingerbang Biden got caught in that shitshow…

      • leon

        I think it got kiboshed long before that. When was the last time before Biden that someone got fired or removed for a long history of sexual assault? Do they think that they had gotten everyone?

  5. Pat

    Venezuela files legal claim with Bank of England over gold

    Isn’t that customarily a Swiss thing?

    • UnCivilServant

      Only Nazi gold.

      London used to be the gold exchange

  6. Pat

    No word if Brazilian Trump is also taking the drug.

    I like that the same media whipping everybody into a frenzy about a virus with a 1/10 of 1% fatality rate as if you had worse than 50/50 chance of dying also thinks it’s irresponsible to try unapproved drugs to treat it.

    • Rhywun

      AP is just a straight-up mouthpiece of MSM opinion these days. That article was ridiculously slanted.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Plus they’ll gleefully report on any other nutty treatment or study results, as long as Trump hasn’t said anything positive about them.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m not sure CNN is all that happy about Fredo’s nutball wife’s treatment of him coming to light. It isn’t a good look when you mock Trump for taking chloroquine, but you took quinine (I guess similar?) when you were sick.

        Of course given the other crazy things Fredo’s wife is into, maybe chloroquine/quinine is a batshit crazy thing to do.

        Did you get a load of her personal Covid19 treatment plans? Here’s a quick recap of some of my favorite parts:

        1. Resonance breathing
        2. OXO (nontoxic quinine) – her favorite one is Cinchona officinalis-Peruvian bark. You know, to oxygenate your blood.
        3. Adding clorox to her bath (1/4 cup in an 80 gallon tub). Because that “combats radiation and metals in her system and oxygenates it.”
        4. To rebalance her energy, she used a “body charger” that sends electrical frequencies throughout her body to fortify her immune system. This was the advice she got from her “Energy Specialist” which is apparently an Actual Job.
        5. She also rented a Pulsed Electromagnetic Field portable machine to “optimize the ability of her cells to start healing.”

      • invisible finger

        Very similar. Before the medication, Gin & Tonic (quinine) was a typical regimen of British military in India.

      • leon

        Adding clorox to her bath (1/4 cup in an 80 gallon tub). Because that “combats radiation and metals in her system and oxygenates it.”

        But did she inject Lysol into her system?

    • OneOut

      It’s ok to use the unapproved drug if it’s still under patent.

      The generic one that’s been around for 70 years and is mentioned by badorangeman ?

      Not so muuuusch.

  7. Shpip

    Despite the country’s oil riches, Venezuela’s economy has been in freefall for years due to a combination of government mismanagement and corruption…

    Venezuela says it wants the Bank of England to sell part of the Venezuelan gold reserves to use the funds to fight the spread of coronavirus.

    It says it has agreed for the money to be sent directly to the UN to ensure it is not used for other purposes.

    Ahh, send it to the famously non-corrupt UN. That’ll fix things.

    • PieInTheSky

      Despite the country’s oil riches, Venezuela’s economy has been in freefall for years due to a combination of government mismanagement and corruption… – AND US SANCTIONS

      • Shpip

        To be sure (DRINK!) the Beeb tosses that in there, though they have the rare decency to call them “international sanctions.”

  8. Gender Traitor

    The recent seizure by Cuban police of hundreds of sacks of onions was a big news item on state television, a warning to suspected hoarders and speculators who seek to benefit from harsher economic conditions during the pandemic.

    I thought stockpiling toilet paper was an odd response to an epidemic of a respiratory disease, but….onions?

    • Shpip

      The plight of the Cuban people under the Castro brothers really brings a tear to one’s eye.

    • Ted S.

      The onions are for wearing on their belts.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        It is the style of the time.

      • Fourscore

        I thought we were over The Onion and now are into the Bee. Did I oversleep again?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Probably

    • invisible finger

      Peel a layer from an onion to use as toilet paper.

    • Rebel Scum

      *Looks at stash of garlic*

      Yeah those people are weird.

  9. PieInTheSky

    No word if Brazilian Trump is also taking the drug.

    There were all sorts of drugs but none seem to attract the criticism HCQ does. THe media seems a bit deranged. Anyhoo you need HCQ plus zinc and antibiotic for the few proven results.

    But I cannot understand why a serious test is not done while they keep saying there is no proof. Find patient give them the full cocktail, from the start to a group of various degrees of severity, to see what is what. Given how a threat the supercold is considered, they could have done several clear stuidies in the last 3 months. From the start the combination with zinc and antibiotic was the most promising, but several so called studies only did the HCQ and only on already very sick patients.

    • Rhywun

      You’re seeing the power of the MSM at work. They don’t want such a study to happen. So, it doesn’t.

      • PieInTheSky

        will zinc be included? The most promising results had it. It probably has 0 side effects as such I don;t see why not.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Patients in the trial will be randomized into three groups. The first group or arm will receive hydroxychloroquine. The second group will receive hydroxychloroquine in combination with azithromycin, which is an antibiotic therapy. The third group will receive placebo. Patients in all treatment groups are receiving standard of care for COVID-19. Researchers at the company compressed months of work into a few weeks to design the large clinical trial in order to rapidly respond to the need for COVID-19 disease treatments.

      • PieInTheSky

        so no. I don;t understand why not but whatever

      • invisible finger

        Why do one complete study when you can get 3x (or more) funding for 3 half-assed studies?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s almost like the people running the studies are misinformed or something.

  10. Atanarjuat

    Not only does cow’s blood sound nasty, I really gave black pudding a shot, and it is indeed truly nasty.

    • PieInTheSky

      black pudding – meh it never tasted like much of anything to me

    • AlexinCT

      Is this some dig at HM for eating ass again?

      • Atanarjuat

        No, I’m on his side on that one.

      • AlexinCT

        I am #WithHim on that too, but for some ass. The real hawt ones…

    • ruodberht

      Nasty delicious? It’s sausage.

      More Irish breakfast for me.

  11. Rebel Scum

    President Jair Bolsonaro unveiled rules Wednesday expanding the prescription of chloroquine, the predecessor of an anti-malaria drug promoted by U.S. President Donald Trump, for coronavirus patients despite a lack of clinical proof that it is effective.

    His doctors have nothing to say on the topic I guess.

    “There is still no scientific evidence, but it is being monitored and used in Brazil and worldwide,”

    Sure, despite the tests that show benefits of using it in conjunction with other drugs.

  12. PieInTheSky

    Glib poll:

    What are your thoughts

    1. Will there be a vaccine this year (I say nay)

    2. Will the virus go away completly (I say nay)

    3. Will there be an actual cure (I say nay)

    4. If no to the above, how is lockdown sustainable?

    • cyto

      No, no and no…. and it isn’t.

    • Pat

      1. No
      2. No
      3. No
      4. Fuck you, that’s how.

    • creech

      #4 – after Election Day, it isn’t sustainable.

      • Festus

        creech get’s it.

      • AlexinCT

        And then they will blame Trump for the depression and tell us that dumb shit like “You can’t drill your way to cheaper gas” or “Get used to GDP growth of less than 1%” amongst other things. See the 8 years of Obamanomics for a preview. After all, these same people crashed the housing market in order to win that election for team blue.

      • Rebel Scum

        “You can’t drill your way to cheaper gas”

        Supply, meet demand.

        And then they will blame Trump for the depression

        State governments forcibly close businesses but it’s Drumpf’s fault. It is known.

    • Nephilium

      No to the first three, and based on people’s actions it looks like it isn’t. You get about two months of people generally respecting the lockdown theater, and that’s it.

    • Rebel Scum

      1. No.
      2. No, but it will mutate and probably become less severe.
      3. To my knowledge there are no cures for any other coronaviruses.
      4. It sin’t.

  13. cyto

    What I want to know is, exactly how did Trump inspire all this irrational hate in Mexico? Come on, CNN…. get someone down there to get the scoop for us!

  14. UnCivilServant

    For some reason, I keep wondering how much Higgins was paid for his work, even if they were 1980s dollars.

    • PieInTheSky

      3.50

      • Pat

        Goddamn Loch Ness monstah!

  15. PieInTheSky

    According to SKAI, the first countries that Greece will allow tourists to come from (that have “good” epidemiological data) are:

    Cyprus
    Israel
    China
    Japan
    Australia
    Norway
    Denmark
    Austria
    Bulgaria
    Serbia
    Romania
    Albania
    North Macedonia
    Bosnia and Herzegovia
    Croatia
    Poland
    Hungary
    Slovakia
    Czech Republic

    So I suppose I can vacation in Greece but I don’t think I wanna

    • PieInTheSky

      My company wants us to plan our holidays for the year in June. Fuck that how am I supposed to know|?

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, they are pushing us really hard to take PTO (time off) now, because they know with everyone not taking any vaycay now, if things go back to normal everyone will be gone for the end of the year and they want to make sure that only happens with the management types and not the drones as usual. I told them I would be an idiot to take time off now and just stay home. Their idea of a mental health day was insulting. They got mad when I told them they could pay me for the time and I wouldn’t take it off, for some reason (I know the state has laws preventing this, which in and of itself to me is fucking wrong).

      • Nephilium

        I took today and tomorrow off as indoor seating opens up here.

    • straffinrun

      No Persians?

      • PieInTheSky

        Persians are diseased

    • leon

      I’d like to see the list of most common places tourists come from in Greece.

      • PieInTheSky

        Lots of Romanians go there

      • leon

        As I expected. I want to cross reference this list with the list that shows every tourists normally come from.

      • PieInTheSky

        lots of English and Germans go there, probably more than Romanians, and those countries are not on the list. I would assume lots of Russians as well.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Greece trusts China?

    • RBS

      I wonder where Turkey is on that list?

  16. Atanarjuat

    Guys, I’m starting to think the news media might have an agenda beyond strictly reporting the facts. Check out this strongly-worded, scary headline:

    Sweden becomes country with highest coronavirus death rate per capita
    Sweden has 6.08 deaths per million inhabitants, higher than the UK, USA and Italy

    Fuck, if that’s true, maybe the lockdown really was the right way to go. Then, you read a few paragraphs down…

    This is the highest in the world, above the UK, Belgium and the US, which have 5.57, 4.28 and 4.11 respectively.

    However, Sweden has only had the highest death rate over the past week, with Belgium, Spain, Italy, the UK and France, still ahead over the entire course of the pandemic.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *bangs head on keyboard*

      vhegh to dbhfbvfhfvhjtrt

      • Festus

        *Goes back to sharpening and fire-hardening sticks*

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Amazing.

      Just.

      Amazing.

  17. robc

    https://www.aier.org/article/did-the-lockdown-save-lives/

    I conclude with the words of the great physician who is credited with smallpox eradication, Donald A. Henderson (1928-2016).

    The interest in quarantine reflects the views and conditions prevalent more than 50 years ago, when much less was known about the epidemiology of infectious diseases and when there was far less international and domestic travel in a less densely populated world. It is difficult to identify circumstances in the past half-century when large-scale quarantine has been effectively used in the control of any disease. The negative consequences of large-scale quarantine are so extreme (forced confinement of sick people with the well; complete restriction of movement of large populations; difficulty in getting critical supplies, medicines, and food to people inside the quarantine zone) that this mitigation measure should be eliminated from serious consideration.

  18. straffinrun

    If Covid 19 had never existed, how many people who died from it would already be dead today?

    • PieInTheSky

      no way of knowing really. Probably looking at yearly total mortality could give a clue. But he problem with that is a lot dies from delaying other treatments nothing to do with covid…

      There was a study that said the average covid death could have expected to live 10 more years but I call that bullshit. Although most studies are based on models these days which for me is nonsense from the start.

    • robc

      I have calculated 12 years average life expectancy if you ignore comorbidities. It has been 3 months, give or take, so about 3%? Factor in comorbidities and I will say 5%.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Sounds like science. You’re using numbers and shit.

        I fucking love science.

      • straffinrun

        I’d have guessed a bit higher, but I have no idea how many people in nursing homes die during a normal March~May period.

      • AlexinCT

        Doesn’t that depend on if the place has one or more of those “Angels of Death, or not”?

      • PieInTheSky

        how exactly do you factor in comorbidity?

      • robc

        Me, no idea. If you know what other disease the people have, you can adjust life expectancy based off the norm for people with that other disease.

        I just used the generic tables. And wagged a number for the comorbidity.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nobody died until BadOrangeMan doomed us all.

    • Atanarjuat

      And how many who died from C19 would have ended up being in the 40,000 who die next flu season.

      • straffinrun

        And how many were jerks anyways?

        These are important questions.

      • Festus

        “Good Answer! Good Answer!” We’re doomed, right?

      • Atanarjuat

        Less than the population at large. The elderly are aight.

    • juris imprudent

      You’ll get some idea of an answer to that here. April definitely had “excess” deaths, though when you look at the second table, by state, you get an even clearer picture of where the problem was most concentrated.

    • Fatty Bolger

      My highly sophisticated model that I cobbled together over a long weekend without the help of professional programmers but is still definitely good enough to set policy affecting millions of people says 107.39%.

    • Agent Cooper

      Do you even Net Neutrality, brah? We are almost all dead already.

      Or at least dead inside.

    • AlexinCT

      Not enough Silicone?

  19. Drake

    While most states are reopening, my current home state is exploring new depths of evil and stupidity.

    • leon

      Isn’t it funny that the “follow the science” crowd seem to ignore all the evidence coming from states that are reopening?

      I guess it is because they “ignored” science so they can’t produce any good science data.

      • Ted S.

        Our POS governor Cuomo claimed not only that he was following the science on putting sick people in nursing homes, but that it was Trump’s science.

        Fuck Cuomo.

      • Drake

        He’s full of shit. It will be kind of hard for him to hide that state executive order he signed.

      • RAHeinlein

        Trump called-out nursing homes and restrictions during his first press conference.

      • robc

        Trump is a scientist?

      • juris imprudent

        Dude, don’t you know, only the righteous can truly science!

      • Fatty Bolger

        Science is my sword, denial my armor, and the media is my shield.

      • AlexinCT

        This has not been about saving lives or doing scientifically cogent shit at all, but about these blue states forcing the feds to pay for years of mismanagement and to undermine bad orange man’s chances at a reelection.

    • Sensei

      And good morning to you too!

    • Rebel Scum

      Police Charge Woman With “Organizing a Protest” at Rogue Atilis Gym

      How dare she engage in (ostensibly) constitutionally protected activity! But seriously, how can that even be a crime?

      • Drake

        18. The people have the right freely to assemble together, to consult for the common good, to make known their opinions to their representatives, and to petition for redress of grievances.

        NJ State Constitution

      • Pat

        How could old white men from the 18th century have known anything about communicable diseases?

      • Drake

        1947 mactually.

  20. Rebel Scum

    Desperate Venezuelans turn to cow blood soup during coronavirus lockdown

    “People lining up for cow blood is a GOOD thing. In capitalist countries the rich get the blood and the poor starve.” – TheBern!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This guy gets it

  21. Drake

    Cuomo tries to blame the CDC for jamming Covid patients into nursing homes.

    It isn’t going to work – not for him, not for Murphy, and not for Wolf.

    • Pat

      It isn’t going to work

      200 autists on the intellectual dark web discussing it while the entire rest of society either remains uninformed about it or rationalizes, excuses, and justifies it means it “works” in the sense that no one is held accountable and get to retain their iron grip on power.

      • Drake

        I bet this will be a major point of contention in the fall campaigns and there will be too much attention on it for the media to effectively sweep it all under the rug.

  22. Festus

    I need to apologize to UCS for burning him so badly in the last post. UCS is not a teen-aged girl and everything that I stated is an out and out lie…

    • AlexinCT

      WTF did I miss?

      • UnCivilServant

        I made a comment about missing listening to the rain without worrying about the house.

        Festus reacted… strangely.

    • Fourscore

      Fes, maybe you just misspoke?

      I can vouch that UCS is NOT a teen age girl (and he’s my friend)

      • AlexinCT

        WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG????

      • banginglc1

        I can vouch that UCS is NOT a teen age girl

        Maybe he identifies as one? Have you though of that? Huh?!?

    • The Hyperbole

      You should apologize to me, I’m the one who sprayed coffee all over my keyboard.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Communist-run Cuba, laboring under a six-decade U.S. embargo, is betting a biotech sector begun by late revolutionary leader Fidel Castro can give the Caribbean island an edge in a global race to find effective treatments for the new coronavirus.

    Who I understand was also austere and scholarly.

    • PieInTheSky

      while the embargo did hurt it some, cuba can trade with practically any other country so a functional economy would simply have adapted.

      • AlexinCT

        LIEZ! Evil imperialism is what crippled that noble nation! There is 1000% literacy (but no real books to read other than whatever the state has approved) and free medicine (but only if you consider things like the use of leeches and treppaning using a drill by state agents medicine). YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

        SOCIALISM IS DA BOMB!

      • The Last American Hero

        The embargo went both ways. The US seemed to do OK over the same period.

  24. PieInTheSky

    Liberal fears are contagious

    https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/liberal-fears-are-contagious

    It has become a commonplace among social psychologists that one of the characteristics that unites conservatives is our sensitivity to disgust. A succession of experiments carried out over the past ten years seems to show that a person’s political views are linked to how disgusting they find the idea of, say, touching a toilet seat in a public lavatory. The more repulsed you are, the more likely you are to hold conservative positions on issues like gay marriage, immigration and abortion. These findings have been lapped up by liberal social scientists since they confirm their view of conservatives as uptight control freaks whose love of hierarchy and tradition is rooted in an irrational fear of contagion.

    But like many findings in psychology, these experiments haven’t always been easy to replicate and a meta–analysis of 24 studies in 2013 found that the relationship between conservative opinions and sensitivity to disgust was fairly modest. Today, I wouldn’t be surprised if people on the left are more easily repulsed than those on the right.

    • EvilSheldon

      You could test this by tossing a progressive a pistol, and measuring the volume of the shrieking and the velocity of the cringe.

      Don’t use a gun that you wouldn’t want a few scratches on.

      • UnCivilServant

        Best bet use one of those brightly colored simulades designed for draw practice that aren’t actual guns.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      i hadn’t thought of that. Despite conservatives and libertarians being almost unanimously opposed to the lockdowns and generally accepting that this has been an over reaction, liberals and progs will probably spin it so that they make it look like the conservatives are crazy scared of the contagion. I can see that happening.

      Never mind red states that stayed open were portrayed as essentially being ‘anti-science’.

      This is what happens when the other side are unprincipled sheep sucking off the tit of the state.

    • leon

      Remember back when elections couldn’t be stolen.

      • Agent Cooper

        Richard Nixon remembers!

    • Atanarjuat

      I don’t know the first thing about the issue, but the fact that my lefty FB friends are suddenly so adamant about it (and they don’t know any issue in depth) is pretty suspicious.

      • Drake

        The California / Washington model of “harvesting” votes until the right people win – now they want to use it everywhere.

  25. Pope Jimbo

    I had no idea those old folks spent so much time singing. I don’t know what else I could think after yesterday’s tour de farce by Minnesoda’s govt fuckups.

    82% of our deaths have been in old folks homes, but our leaders are clamping down on churches. And even if they do ever decide to open those, singing is right out.

    In Phase 3, outdoor religious services with up to 100 people will be allowed if everyone involved wears masks and can maintain 6 feet of social distancing. (Until Phase 3, people can gather in groups of 10 or fewer indoors or outdoors for religious services.) Grove, the DEED commissioner, said there will be even more restrictions, including on singing.

    Grove said singing is “one of the worst things you can do,” because it can project infectious particles further into the air than talking. After a choir practice with one symptomatic person in Washington state, 87 percent of those who attended developed COVID-19.

    I think yesterday will be a bridge too far for Walz and his administration. A couple of churches are already suing him. I’m becoming more optimistic that the people are just going to move on with opening on their own.

    • straffinrun

      Grove said singing is “one of the worst things you can do,” because it can project infectious particles further into the air than talking.

      No way it’s worse than speaking German. Just saying “Danger” in German is enough to coat the listener’s face in phlegm.

      • Sensei

        As contrasted to Japanese where your lips barely part to create the 250 or so sounds that make up the whole language.

        No wonder they’ve just released metro Osaka from lock down.

      • straffinrun

        This is true. *Deletes dirty joke about lip reading and twelve year old girls*

    • Rhywun

      After a choir practice with one symptomatic person in Washington state, 87 percent of those who attended developed COVID-19.

      Science!

    • Tundra

      You didn’t think so yesterday.

      Scott Johnson did his usual excellent work.

      Walz had no good answer to the question about the disparate treatment of church services (at about 40:00 of the video): “I will acknowledge the logic of the arguments is sound.”

      Thank you, kind sir. Now will you please remove your boot from our necks?

      What a cunt.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I didn’t expect him to be dumb enough to give that speech yesterday. I thought he’d let things lie until June 1st and then let things open. I guess I missed his plan of phased openings.

        Fucking hasn’t even said when phase 4 will start.

        Yeah, I think he is in for a lot of adverse court cases coming up. Maybe the GOP will get their balls back and make this an issue.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Also in a just world Scott Johnson would win a Pullitzer for his coverage of the CV in Minnesoda.

        You know he’s doing a good job because he’s been banned from the govt pressers.

        If the journalos in town had any real integrity they’d be totes envious of him for being banned. And they’d tear into the govt for banning someone for asking questions.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Do no harm, eh?

      Seriously. Fuck Murphy.

    • ruodberht

      Embargo on!

      Who run Bartertown?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Oh. To me? It’s not the gym who is ‘defiant’.

      It’s MURPHY.

      Little bitch.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Gee, there’s a surprise.

      It kinda became obvious. Someone needs to do a study breaking down the demographics of who supported lockdowns and who didn’t.

      I’m almost certain the Lockdownians composed of old people, the useless, already unemployed or welfare recipients, people who worked for government and corporations allowed to remain open, Karens who latch on too easily to fear, and emasculated cucks.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well they’re mostly on the young (and stupid) side and Europeans tend to live with their parents longer so this isn’t really surprising.

    • EvilSheldon

      The most interesting statistic, to my mind, was that in 4 out of 5 cases, these left-wing activists were attacking cops.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Progjection

    Perez said, “Voting isn’t simply an honor, Chris, voting is a fundamental right. People pay the ultimate price to exercise the right to vote. And in a pandemic, the notion that you have a president going after Republican and Democratic secretaries of state in the middle of a pandemic, Secretary Benson is trying to make it easier for eligible people to exercise their right to vote. She’s trying to allow them to exercise the choice that the Michigan Constitution provides them.”

    He added, “What we have to do between now and November is make sure that every single voter in every single state has a choice. The choice to vote on election day. So the choice to early vote, the more days of early voting, the more social distancing you do and the right to vote absentee with no excuse, the right to vote by mail. Republicans and Democrats agree on that. This president, in a desperate effort to steal an election, is going to stop at nothing.”

    Someone is, in fact, desperate to steal the election, but it ain’t Trump.

    • leon

      “Voting isn’t simply an honor, Chris, voting is a fundamental right. People pay the ultimate price to exercise the right to vote. ”

      Guns however. If a true individual right like gun ownership can be regulated, then why not the vote?

      The lefts fetishising of the right to vote is a product of the 1960’s and the DNC origin mythos and the ability to control elections. If I had to give up one of my rights, the ability to be one in 120 million electors would be it.

      • kbolino

        I wouldn’t.

        Voting is an extremely important right. It doesn’t trump our natural rights, but among the procedural rights it is quite possibly paramount. At the very least, it is critical to shaping how our other rights are interpreted and upheld.

        However, the right to vote is not simply the right to put a ballot in a box, or in this case to have a ballot received by arbitrary means tangentially related to the postal service and involving an envelope.

        The right to vote is the right to cast a ballot and to have that ballot counted fairly. It is the reciprocal obligation of the government to conduct a fair and honest election that makes the right powerful. Alone, casting ballots is not a meaningful right. Cubans vote, Chinese vote, Zimbabweans and Venezuelans vote. Their votes are meaningless because the regime decides who wins.

        We are not (yet?) at the point of a single-party state but we do face lots of politicians who want control over the voting process. They hold up all sorts of reasons both to complicate and simplify the rules, but at the end of the day their primary interest is self-advantage and the advantage of their own party.

        Whether we vote by mail or we vote in person, the primary goal of any government action related to voting should be to uphold the integrity of the election. People did die to give us this right and to ensure it remained. If we are going to hold up that sacrifice, then we do a disservice by placing convenience above integrity. If death is the price some have paid for it, then getting an ID or registering every year or otherwise proving eligibility is no barrier; nor is requiring a strict chain of custody over ballots; nor requiring independent checks and controls of the process at every stage, etc.

        The Republican and Democratic Parties are not the reason we have the right to vote. They exist to serve democracy, not the other way around.

      • Tundra

        I think voting is very important locally. It’s the only way to attempt to keep the fuckheads under control.

        Besides, what did Douglass say? “A man’s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot-box, the jury-box, and the cartridge-box.”

      • leon

        Out of curiosity then, which right would you give up? All the rights i can think of are things i can actually take advantage of. I’m not saying i don’t value the right to vote. I value it in proportion to the power of my vote. So i value my right to vote in local elections much higher than my 1/120,000,000th say in who becomes president. (Or if you want to be real technical my 1/1,000,000th say over how 6/538th of the votes are cast). Any other right loss could seriously change how my life is. Not being able to vote would have 0 difference between the way things are right now.

        Mostly, i’m rejecting the leftist mythos that the right to vote is the most sacred right we have. These assholes will talk about how Free Speech needs to be regulated, You can’t own anything but a black powder musket, and that any thing else is not a right because it isn’t in the constitution. But As soon as it comes to voting, “You can’t touch this”. They care about the most “Superficial” right because it is practically worthless, and they make it more worthless with their shenanigans.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’d give up the right to not quarter soldiers in my house.

      • Fourscore

        Quartering moose is rather essential, due to their size, quartering deer not too necessary, few are that big. Drawing/quartering soldiers is pretty much passe but maybe it’ll make a comeback.

      • AlexinCT

        We should bring it back for the political class. And the “appeal to expertise” class too…

      • kbolino

        If I alone lost the right to vote, then yes it would technically have no effect on any election I’ve participated it and is statistically unlikely to affect any future election I may participate in. One vote is lost as noise amidst all the other votes.

        That having been said, I was assessing the right to vote as it applies to all of us. Without voting at all, our leaders would be chosen some other way, likely in such a way that empowers established interests even more so than our current system and respects individual rights even less so.

        There are lots of rights I might personally not miss, in the sense that the loss of it for me and me alone would have no direct impact. I’ve never protested anything in public, for example. Nor have I ever need a jury in a trial. But I can still foresee a use for them and so would be loathe to give them up. My individual vote may not have ever swung an election, but it may yet and it still forms part of the communication between the people and their elected leaders.

      • leon

        Yes i was referring to just my individual valuation of the right. And of course as more people were disenfranchised, my valuation of the right would increase. I’d be much more willing to forgo (my own) right to vote in federal elections, but the right to vote in local elections is more dear to me.

        I’ll say that i’m still somewhat skeptical that even the General right to vote matters much any more. If you want to influence who the candidates are, it isn’t, nor has it ever really been, about voting. That is political party maneuvering, donating sums of money and such. Voting is an afterthought after people have decided who the two acceptable choices are.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Agree. It isn’t the one vote being denied it is the exclusion of entire groups.

        During Jim Crow, since no blacks could vote, no politician gave a shit about them or what they wanted. So yeah, the right to vote is important in that it gives groups more clout with politicians. They know if they fuck up something important to a group of their constituents they might be angry enough to do the unthinkable and vote them out.

        What is maddening is that organizing a free and fair election shouldn’t be rocket surgery. But it seems to be because both parties want to organize it in a way that gives them an edge. And not only an edge over their opponents, but an edge over upstarts in their own party.

      • leon

        That’s why democratic policies have been so beneficial to Inner City Blacks.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        organizing a free and fair election

        Setting the arguably reasonable objection to the cost aside, I find it interesting how many people hate this plan:
        a/ a bus with the equipment and staff goes essentially door to door and register basically everyone to vote
        b/ everyone gets a fancy picture-ID card complete with a couple of punch-out zones
        c/ you vote: you present your card, they punch out the appropriate zone and dye your thumb, done
        You are registered based on your ostensible domicile and whatever name you claim to use (which matters not in the least anyway): we find you, we register you, because why not; no DL or birth cert.

        I’m okay with the main problem: aliens voting. I’m not terribly turfy about being a native-born voter since most of the natives I know are pure idiots and voting hasn’t proven very much about popular judgment even in its best years. Also, working for so many international firms, I just know hundreds of ex-pats here who are living here, obeying the rules, and paying the taxes . . . which strikes me as 90% of citizenship anyway.

        The other problem is double registration: would some people who had legacy registrations still add a second one when the bus came to town? I think the thumb dye fixes that, but there might be some other loopholes than my boring, law-following ass could never conceive.

      • R C Dean

        Implied, I think, in your voting program is that voting is done in-person, not by mail, with perhaps limited scope for absentee voting.

        Basically, my take is that most voter fraud (but not vote counting fraud) can be eliminated by getting rid of vote-by-mail and voting on multiple days.

        For national elections, one day that is a national holiday. Show up, show photo ID, validated against a registration list (cleaning those up would also need to be on the agenda), and vote on a paper ballot. Basically, the way it was done 20 years ago is vastly more secure than the current system.

        Get your thumb died, just as a belt-and-suspenders measure.

        Now, what happens after your ballot is dropped into the box is a separate, much more complex, and more important issue.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        yeah, hadn’t thought of that at all

      • Ted S.

        I’d give up the right to an abortion.

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    How can you hoard in a communist country?

    Re Mexico and health care workers. Isn’t frightening how the pandemic flushed out into the open the amount of stupid people that live among us?

    Where we one extreme with the silly hero worshipping, they’re to other side with the scapegoating.

    Crazy world.

    • PieInTheSky

      How can you hoard in a communist country? – people like this were shamed on TV back in the day. Some people had 10 bottles of cooking oil or up to 20 kg of flour

      • UnCivilServant

        That little?

        I suppose in a country where there is none that might count as a lot.

      • PieInTheSky

        Look UCS there was plenty for everyone the empty stores and endless lines were due to hoarding.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Wow.

        We even hoard better than commies.

        Maybe they should watch an episode of Hoarders.

      • Mojeaux

        I love that show. Makes me feel better about myself.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        My wife and mother watch it too. That and 90 Day Fiance. Oof, those conversations.

  28. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “ Alan Dershowitz: You Have ‘No Right’ To Refuse Mask, Open Your Business; State Has ‘Right’ To ‘Plunge A Needle Into Your Arm’ And Forcibly Vaccinate”

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/alan-dershowitz-you-have-no-right-to-refuse-mask-open-you-business-state-has-right-to-plunge-a-needle-into-your-arm-and-forcibly-vaccinate

    I didn’t listen to the primary material so maybe the article twisted it but here you go (oh well, at least he was good on Russiagate).

    • commodious spittoon

      “That’s what a democracy is about,” Dershowitz argued. “If the majority of the people agree and support that, for public health measures, you have to be vaccinated, you have to be vaccinated.”

      Proving too much.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Aren’t there things which the current version of the constitution doesn’t allow no matter how many people vote for them?

      • leon

        You missed the “this is a democracy so we can do whatever we want” clause.

      • kbolino

        Robert Bork, is that you?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        “That’s what a democracy is about,” Dershowitz argued. “If the majority of the people agree and support that genocide, for public health measures…”

        Does Alan get it yet? Nah.

      • Rebel Scum

        If someone doesn’t want to be vaccinated, I fail to see how they are harming anyone else.

        That’s what a democracy is about…If the majority of the people agree and support

        And that is precisely why the US is not a democracy.

  29. Shpip

    As depressing as I find the links from the Glibs who live in NY, PA, MI, OH, etc., sometimes I’m thankful that I live where I do.

    Sure, we may have Florida Man wandering around unsupervised, but we’ve generally had competent executives for the last twenty years or so.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, you’re an amphibian, the humidity doesn’t effect you like it does people.

    • Agent Cooper

      Ohio is pretty much open now. Also, a judge declared Acton’s actions unconstitutional.

  30. Pat

    What if Hillary Clinton had become president?

    In 2016, the US came so close to electing Hillary Clinton president, and Britain came so close to rejecting Brexit. What if things had gone differently? Creators of some of the best recent novels and television shows are creating alternate worlds based on those tantalising what-ifs. Curtis Sittenfeld’s audacious new novel, Rodham, imagines what Hillary Rodham’s life would have been like if she had not married Bill Clinton. (Hint: her political ambitions kick in earlier.) Sci-fi master William Gibson’s novel Agency is set partly in a world where Hillary is president and Brexit never happened. This season’s first instalment of the smart, politically-charged legal drama The Good Fight (on CBS All Access) is set during a Hillary Clinton presidency. That turned out to be a character’s dream, but it was nice while it lasted.

    Other new counterfactual worlds have a feminist slant, too. The underappreciated AppleTV+ series For All Mankind imagines what would have happened if the Russians had put a man and then a woman on the moon before the US. Suddenly President Richard Nixon, not known to care about women’s rights, demands that the US does the same. And no feminist fantasy is more trenchant than Margaret Atwood’s latest novel, The Testaments. A sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale, it takes us towards the downfall of the anti-woman state of Gilead.

    Readers and viewers may be tiring of familiar dystopian fictions, especially since they have blurred into reality. These new works replace them with hopeful fantasies, solidly rooted in the real world. It is a coincidence of timing they are landing in the midst of a global pandemic, but these counterfactual stories are potent reminders of how different today might have been.

    • Rebel Scum

      hopeful fantasies, solidly rooted in the real world.

      Um…no.

    • Rhywun

      Hillary… feminist… *prolonged laughter*

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Actually, during this pandemic, if she was President….OMFG. It would be lockdown hell.

      • juris imprudent

        President Ratched

      • Pope Jimbo

        If she was President, the MSM would have downplayed all of this.

        Story after story would tell you that the thousands who died in NYC are just a drop in the bucket and shouldn’t scare anyone. All is well and Pres. Hillary has handled this perfectly.

    • invisible finger

      If Hilary won, the virus would have been Bush’s fault.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Long lines, and the informal or underground market, are nothing new in Cuba.

    Shortages and long waits to acquire basic necessities had almost disappeared in the past decade, but they restarted last year, largely because of sanctions imposed by the United States in its attempt to force political change in Cuba.

    Phew. I was afraid they wouldn’t be able to come up with a way to blame President Cartoon Villain.

    • Pat

      “It’s wrong that these rich fat cats have an army of servants to wait on them. And by the way, where the fuck do they get off firing their servants?”

      • Spartacus

        Firing is perfectly fine, as long as they don’t stop paying them. The fair thing to do would be to just give them money.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Furthermore, while hoarding is listed as a crime in the Cuban penal code, no one is sure how much of any particular item constitutes hoarding.

    A perfectly written law. “We know it when we see it.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you’re a party official I’m pretty sure there’s no limit.

      • Incentives Matter

        You’re wrong. If you’re a party official you cannot by definition be a hoarder. Hoarding is only something the average citizen is capable of. That’s why a lot of people in Cuba want be members of and employed by the Party.

        (The weirdest part of my trip to Cuba was walking through the consulate area of Havana — looked almost normal to these Western eyes . . . )

  33. straffinrun

    What does Trump mean by “war president”? He’s really the leader of a death cult

    Trump’s mouthpieces command his followers to go shopping, eat out at restaurants and spend money because to do so is “patriotic” and shows love for “the country.” Trump’s followers now view wearing protective masks as “weak” and effeminate, a surrender to “political correctness.” If these Trump “warriors” happen to die, it is a glorious act of sacrifice.

    In Trump and his right-wing movement’s cruel and evil view of the world, deaths from the coronavirus are a good thing: Weak, sick, elderly and other vulnerable people should be gracious enough to die; they have outlived their usefulness.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “ deaths from the coronavirus are a good thing: Weak, sick, elderly and other vulnerable people should be gracious enough to die; ”

      Wait, Trump or Cuomo?

    • Pat

      In Trump and his right-wing movement’s cruel and evil view of the world, deaths from the coronavirus are a good thing: Weak, sick, elderly and other vulnerable people should be gracious enough to die; they have outlived their usefulness.

      Holy fucking projection Batman! From the party of abortion, euthanasia, eugenics, and withholding care for cost containment.

      • leon

        I remember back when the hospitals were predicted to be overwhelmed, a discussion being had about having to choose who to let die and about choosing the socially valuable ones over the others.

      • kbolino

        The real problem, apparently, is that no vote was held on whether COVID-19 should kill people, and whom. Unblessed by the purity of democracy, the virus ravages the population against the consent of the majority. Naturally, since we are all powerful and have conquered nature without question, this must mean it’s someone’s fault and that someone is the person we like the least.

    • kbolino

      Yes, I’m sure Trump wants his own voting base to die off in droves. Between it killing more men than women and those over 65 much more than those under, Trump must be asking for the disease so he can lose 2020 without having to bow out. It’s a nefarious plot to boost his ego. Now if he can only find out how to get it to disproportionately kill whites and those without college degrees, he’ll be set.

      Do these people bother to apply a little thought before putting pen to paper?

      • EvilSheldon

        Some people take drugs, some people masturbate, some people write Salon articles. Some people read them.

      • straffinrun

        Hey, I just enjoyed Salon believes that calling Trump a “Death Cult Leader” would make him less endearing to his base.

      • EvilSheldon

        Hey bro, I don’t judge…

    • Rebel Scum

      Weak, sick, elderly and other vulnerable people should be gracious enough to die; they have outlived their usefulness.

      But enough about socialist healthcare systems.

  34. pistoffnick

    Today is Lawrence Tureaud’s birthday. You might know him better as Mr. T

    Advice from Mr. T first name, Mr middle name that period, last name T

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8G7mR_VJ3U

    • pistoffnick

      Go out and pity some fools!

      • AlexinCT

        This is how I remember em…

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Does he still pity fools?

      I know I do.

      /sombrely puts medical mask on as sad trombone plays.

  35. PieInTheSky

    Speaking of hoarding, I remember gas lines took more than a day, and if you did not move the car ion time you could lose your place so my parents took turns sleeping in the car to be ready to move it as soon as the line started moving.

    It was not a joke that people saw a line and got in line before asking what they had.

    Bread was never fresh. I never understood way, but all the bread was a day old at least. It was strange that years after 1989 people would still ask at stores is the bread fresh, although it always was.

  36. Rufus the Monocled

    I did some rudimentary numbering as I picked my nose and didn’t wear a mask:

    World:

    Cases per million: 649.
    Deaths per million: 42.

    Reaction: Lockdown.

    Result:

    270 million facing starvation according to the UN.
    80% of deaths in one demographic and nursing homes.
    Job hours lost equals to 300 million jobs.
    Last quarter, U.S. GDP contracted 5%.

    We spent trillions and ruined millions for…649.

    But wait! There’s more!

    See that 42 deaths per million figure? Ok. 80% of 42 is 33. Therefore, 33 of those 42 are people over 70. That leaves 9 people. Of the 9, we can assume roughly based on reports, another 80% of those had co-morbidities. That means 2 people per million were tragically taken on the planet due to this virus.

    • Mojeaux

      Yahoooooo!

      Me, I just wanted to get their hair off my back and I didn’t dare whack it off myself.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have very limited hair-cutting skills.

        *Bzzzzzzz*

      • AlexinCT

        I need one of those… I look like a freaking hippie.

      • SugarFree

        Uh-oh, now you’ve done it. Mexican Sharpshooter loves women with hairy backs.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Its true.

      • AlexinCT

        Lower or upper…

        There is a difference…

      • Mojeaux

        Too late. All gone.

    • Pat

      Why am I actually doing this – is it for me? Is it because I feel like I have to look good to other people?

      She asked while posting another selfie to Instagram and navel gazing about having to go a month with lip fillers and manicures…

    • Pope Jimbo

      Those are all dudes right?

      Uffda, those are not the people I would have used for a story on body positivity.

  37. Mojeaux

    When learning a new language, does anyone else feel stupid or like an imposter pronouncing things the RIGHT way?

    • PieInTheSky

      no?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      All the time. Language is an inherent part of your identity. Learning a new language also means developing a new identity.

      • PieInTheSky

        oh nonsense

      • PieInTheSky

        its just a bunch of words. Linguistics I swear…

      • Heroic Mulatto

        You’re an outlier. Most polyglots I know, including myself, frequently talk about how we “think” and “act” differently when speaking our other languages. For example, my friend who is a native English speaker and has achieved native, technical/academic-level proficiency in Chinese talks about how he is very introverted in English, but finds that he is quite outgoing when speaking and thinking in Chinese. I’m quite egalitarian, but I find myself to be more deferential to status when speaking Thai.

        Why is this? Well, if you accept that language use is a cognitive process, then it makes sense that it interacts with other parts of your cognition. Particularly due to the fact that we “think” in a language. I won’t go into the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis as I’m only on my 2nd cup of coffee, but I think you get the point.

      • straffinrun

        I find my sister a lot more attractive when I speak Japanese.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Go on…

      • straffinrun

        I use the honorific.

      • Sensei

        お姉さん。。。

      • Sensei

        それとも、君は妹の人?

      • Sensei

        Yes – I’m definitely more deferential to status when speaking Japanese.

        I also found that my sense of humor is different between the two languages. The lack of English style sarcasm in Japanese is a huge difference.

      • AlexinCT

        interacts with other parts of your cognition. Particularly due to the fact that we “think” in a language

        I speak several languages fluently (thanks, dad!) and I have often had real strange reactions from people when I tell them I do my thinking in whatever language I am speaking at the time, which is why switching between languages sometimes is a bit slow for me as I am switching what language I think in as well. From what I have been told most people that speak multiple languages do their thinking in only one. I find that hard to believe and would have a hard time speaking in any language while thinking in another.

      • UnCivilServant

        When thinking, what language are the pictures in?

      • Sensei

        Your experience is similar to what I’ve discussed with my truly bilingual friends. They think in whatever language they are using at the time.

        I’m far from fully fluent, but if I have a conversation in Japanese and need to relate it to somebody in English it takes additional effort as I have to translate the conversation to English first and after that relay it. My bilingual friends note the same thing.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I never could make the switch to another language even though I could memorize the vocabulary and rules. Although I think a lot of it has to with a lack of immersion, I also believe that my manner of processing information is just not suited to it.

        I’m a systemic learner. I have to learn the entire problem, break it down into parts and put it back together to perform a new action. In other words, I couldn’t really become competent in a language until I understand the entirety of it.

        My wife is a kinesthetic learner. She just has to replicate an action to learn it. The differences make for some “interesting” arguments when I’m trying to give her directions.

      • AlexinCT

        Although I think a lot of it has to with a lack of immersion

        I learned my languages by not going to school with the American military kids, but going to school with the local kids. Nothing makes you work hard to learn something as being required to do so (sinking & swimming). My dad simply told me necessity was the mother of invention, and he was right.

      • UnCivilServant

        A linguist would think that.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Let me ask you, why do you choose not to speak in African American Vernacular English?

      • UnCivilServant

        What makes you think I don’t?

        You only see what I type.

      • straffinrun

        You the Orginal Glovester.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        absolutely

        Most of my friends defer to English. After a day visiting, they often note they are exhausted by thinking in a language they don’t speak often.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, why don’t you type in AAVE? Or even like an Ork*?

        *This should definitely happen.

      • Mojeaux

        I have said this before and you have disagreed, but I do find speaking certain ways, AAVE/southern redneck (aka country) to be physically easier to speak. Dropping consonants and vowels, contracting everything is easier.

        That said, unless I’m really feeling lazy, I choose not to speak that way because that is not who I am, so I take your point about identity via language extremely well.

        The Zoomy Glibs noted I sound like a Minnesotan, but I have no idea why. I went to BYU and they thought I sounded like a country hick. I grew up hearing my mother say “warsh,” but I didn’t pick up that, either. I did pick up “this needs done” and it sounds right and proper to my ear.

        I did have an English teacher for years that pounded in enunciation and diction, though. I got her in sixth grade and she was with me through the beginning of eleventh grade.

        Aside about her: We had a thing called grammar court. If we caught someone speaking with bad grammar or diction, we wrote up a charge on a 3×5 card, dumped it in a box and then twice a week she would hold “court” for people to answer the charge. It was a fun little thing. No judgment was attached, so it was just a game.

        Anyway, yes. I take your point about identity via language. If I KNOW I’m creating a new identity while learning a new language then I can process my study better.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Minnesoda isn’t that surprising really. It has some of the same relationship to “proper” English as rural/Southern/AAVE. More smoothing and slurring of sounds as opposed to precise pronunciation.

        I find myself starting to do it during long conference calls with team members from MN. Damn stuff is contagious.

      • AlexinCT

        There is definitely something about it. Sure, I am biased cause my girlfriend does it and goes bananas when I call her out on her Minnesoda drawl, but dang..

      • Gustave Lytton

        Should that be “axe you”?

    • Atanarjuat

      Yes. I have decided to try to just get a rough approximation so I sound less douchey and then dial in the finer points of pronunciation by mimicking native speakers when and if I actually converse with them.

    • Sensei

      Weirdest thing for me when I first started Japanese was using English loanwords.

      You actually do use the stereotypical Asian speaking English accent to approximate the actual way English is used in Japanese. You keep waiting for the PC police to come an break down your door.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It’s fun to walk around Japan with google maps street view, and see all the English words everywhere.

      • Sensei

        Full on English in products is done to add mystique. It also makes for some really interesting “Engrish” frequently.

        However, there is lots of English that is now part of the Japanese language. And, naturally, it’s become uniquely Japanese in the way it is used.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It took me a while to catch onto the Japanese pronunciation of English words in Jpop. It was a lightbulb moment when I realized it.

      • Sensei

        I also find it hysterical that you take a word that is already a verb in English and add “suru” (“to do”) after it just for good measure.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Chopping an English word down to the first or second syllables and adding o/to/u still sounds like a caricature when I think about it.

    • Apples and Knives

      Oui.

      But I have found that Duolingo actually understands my French much better when I do my best Inspector Clouseau impression. “Sacre bleu!”

      • R C Dean

        When Mrs. Dean and I were trying to get some basic Spanish, she absolutely struggled with pronunciation until she tried saying words with a stereotypical/exaggerated Italian (of all things) accent. It was much better, but she still can’t roll her “r”s.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      I think it’s a second-tier problem and should be ignored.

      a/ I always assume that between gender, tense, and declination, I probably sound . . on my best day . . . to them like some baby Tonto anyway.

      2/ No one in Bavaria speaks hoch Deutsch; no one in Mexico speaks Castillian; you’ll never catch up on the patois unless you live it. . . maybe not then.

      iii/ I try not to listen to myself, but working in international firms forced me to realize my ancient hillbilly English is half intelligible to ESL folk. I drop leading H, I drop trailing G, embrace contractions abandoned since Chaucer (someone once asked me what “nairn” meant), use trailing T for past tenses, and pronounce full diphthongs so severely that the shortest utterance is rendered almost tri-syllabic. Against my gibberish, any third-world attempt at standard English is completely welcome; I project that the reverse is true/welcome as well.

      • leon

        no one in Mexico speaks Castillian

        Only them porteños speak the castellano.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        norteños speak Deutsch, mein fein amigo !

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        After four years of Castillian Spanish classes, I moved to San Diego and was exposed to Tijuana Spanish. I think that’s when I gave up.

      • UnCivilServant

        I took seven years of spanish. it was soooo effective that I needed a translator to ask the laundromat attendant if my phone had been found there. (i’d actually left it at a restaurant)

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hah hah. My experience in reverse. My high school español was not that useful in Toledo. Pre Internet and young & dumb, I was clueless.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, most Ohioans speak some form of English.

      • leon

        I spent two years in SA, and can barely eke out what my Mexican Neighbors are saying.

      • Mojeaux

        I had roommates who had been missionary companions in Argentina. One was from Argentina. Anyway, they spoke German as well as they spoke Spanish. German is/was a thing there.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        for centuries: German and Italian, especially in Buenos Aires

      • KSuellington

        Sale wey, no mames.

      • Pope Jimbo

        My last job had a dev from Barcelona, the Canary Islands and from Mexico. The two spaniards were always on the Mexican for speaking like a hillbilly. But every once in a while the guy from the mainland and the guy from the Canary Islands would get into it about something.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Dutch sounds like a Canadian dialect of German to my ear. Going from Vienna to Amsterdam directly was…strange.

      • Incentives Matter

        Try Frisian. I had the weird experience of picking up a Fries newspaper in Leeuwarden and being able to almost understand it, even though my knowledge of Frisian is effectively zero. I even had a brief discussion with one of my spousal unit’s cousins about the contents of the story, which was a bemusing event for both of us.

    • Mojeaux

      My 1 year of high school French got us through half of Europe. They were so charmed that I tried that they wouldn’t let me struggle; they just spoke English for me,

      But I want to learn Spanish (which is why I asked) and am thinking of doing the conversation distance learning with Spanish-speakers. I think it’s important to know for practical, real-life reasons. My college Spanish made me self-conscious, but I didn’t realize everyone else might have felt that way too.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    “That’s what a democracy is about,” Dershowitz argued. “If the majority of the people agree and support that, for public health measures, you have to be vaccinated, you have to be vaccinated.”

    THE MOB HAS SPOKEN

    OBEY

    • Pat

      If the majority of people agree and support that, for public health measures, you have to wear a gold star…

      If the majority of people agree and support that, for public health measures, you have to be dispossessed of your property…

      If the majority of people agree and support that, for public health measures, you have to get on a cattle car…

      Great look for a Jew born right at the outset of WWII.

    • R C Dean

      I remember Dersh always insisted that we should never make a legal argument without applying a limiting principle to its reach.

      Apparently, he has forgotten that. Sad!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Dershowitz has lost it.

      I think Epstein killing himself put him over the edge.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    When learning a new language, does anyone else feel stupid or like an imposter pronouncing things the RIGHT way?

    When I was taking German, the professors were sticklers for pronunciation. These were, of course, Germans who had lived in the States for decades, and all spoke heavily accented English as if they had a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

    • UnCivilServant

      Ze Inglish Ist not a precise language like ze Deutch

      • commodious spittoon

        DU MUßT STRENGLICH RICHTIG DEUTCH SPRECHEN.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      I’m laughed at for my Schwaebisch pronunciations; I’m a southerner and a hick no matter which language I attempt.

  40. Tundra

    Good morning Señor Sharpshooter!

    Danm, son, that’s a lotta lynx!

    The recent seizure by Cuban police of hundreds of sacks of onions was a big news item on state television, a warning to suspected hoarders and speculators who seek to benefit from harsher economic conditions during the pandemic.

    That’s just fucking sad.

    She does not see Covid-19 patients in her clinic, but is convinced her uniform made her a target.

    The Russian chick yesterday had a better response.

    If you were trying to make us feel better about our fucked up country by highlighting those south of the border… it kind of worked.

    Have a great day, peeps!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I don’t know if I was trying to make you feel better about it, but if I did I’m happy to help.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    ‘I’m very aware of my body changing in lockdown’

    It appears to me there are several females of my acquaintance who have bulked up noticeably during their period of hibernation.

    • Pat

      I find it rather remarkable that this many people can’t figure out ways to stay fit without a $50 a month fitness center membership. I guess I don’t really realize how isolated and weird I am until I see people having a fucking mental breakdown because they had to spend a few weeks living exactly like I do.

      • The Other Kevin

        I hate taking the time to drive to the gym, so over the years I’ve accumulated all kinds of gym equipment. As far as fitness goes, looks like you and I are the only freaks who this has not affected.

      • leon

        For me, the Gym (which is very conveniently located), is also a bit of a release from home. It helps to get into a different mindset, where i’m not “at home”. Working out at home has never really worked out for me.

      • Pope Jimbo

        ^This^

        I find it very easy to rationalize not working out at home. Going to the gym is part of the routine and once I’m there I might as well work out.

        Also during the lockdown, it is almost impossible to get any exercise equipment. I sold a bunch of rusty plates I had lying around for years for nearly $2/lb.

        My big problem is that my knees are too shot to do daily running anymore and the gym had decent low impact equipment to help get that aerobic exercise on the off days.

      • Nephilium

        For me, it’s a response to stress and destruction of any kind of routine (which adds more stress). I’m hoping with things opening up again, I can start to build a new routine.

      • R C Dean

        Gyms provide two things:

        Equipment and even expertise you don’t have at home.

        Probably more important, structure/motivation/socialization you don’t have at home.

        Make that three things:

        Hot chicks in tight clothes, although that might part of the “motivation” above.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That third one is the one that matters.

      • The Last American Hero

        It’s more about my new office being 20 feet from a well stocked pantry. I suspect it is the same for others. Add in that I can’t go hiking yet, the workday is shorter and so more time near that stupid pantry, and my wife’s nesting instinct kicked in and she won’t stop baking and my Glibfit status is epic fail.

    • leon

      Sometimes your way of linking the Twitter’s makes your comments seem very bipolar.

      • PieInTheSky

        I generally link things the same way. A bit of text from what I link to show what the link is about. The link. And my comment.

        Sometimes for an article I put a bit more text from the link and then I use – to separate my comment from the text.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    If these Trump “warriors” happen to die, it is a glorious act of sacrifice.

    And if they should happen to live, and engage in productive (or even simply pleasurable) behavior? What then?

    They might be liable to think they are not the chattel property of the State, and may do as they please. Self ownership must be discouraged, if not ruthlessly stamped out.

    • leon

      The whole article is a gigantic strawman. No one is happy that people are dying. Everyone thinks it’s a tragedy. But whatever you have to say to yourself to remind yourself that your enemies are monsters and you are the good guy.

      • R C Dean

        No one is happy that people are dying.

        I’m going to have to disagree. There are a fair number of people so invested in the “disaster” drama that people dying validates them. That’s why they are now lunging at the “second wave will be even moar deadlier” narrative.

        They have managed to get themselves to a point where their self-image (if not political/social agenda) needs a body count.

      • invisible finger

        Yup. Saw that same shit on TV news during Viet Nam. Body counts were never on TV news until after Nixon took office. I was 8 years old at the time,

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Good news, everyone!

    First-time filings for unemployment insurance totaled 2.44 million last week as the tail effects of the coronavirus shutdown continued to impact the U.S. jobs market.

    Economists surveyed by Dow Jones had been looking for 2.4 million claims.

    The seasonally adjusted total, while still well above anything the nation had seen in pre-coronavirus America, represents the seventh straight week of a declining pace following the record peak of 6.9 million in late March.

    In addition, a review from last week brought the number down substantially, from 2.98 million to 2.69 million. In the nine weeks since the coronavirus-induced lockdown has closed large parts of the U.S. economy, some 38.6 million workers have filed claims.

    Eventually, you start to run out of people to fire. At least until the next level effects manifest themselves.

    • PieInTheSky

      it will bounce back in no time

    • leon

      I read somewhere that, if you include data about labor force participation, something like 50% of American adults were not working

    • Pat

      I wonder if Trump will get credit for reducing the deficit by the largest amount in recorded history when it drops from 4 trillion back to 1 trillion next fiscal year too. Worked for Obama.

  44. PieInTheSky

    Jay Marshall Wolman
    @wolmanj
    Why? The UK didn’t mind when Jordan annexed the entire West Bank on April 24, 1950. In fact, it was only one of three countries to recognize it. I guess annexation is only bad if Jews do it.

    Sympathy, Empathy, Dignity.
    @liberrocky
    ·
    Replying
    Jordan did what now?

    Did they cover this on “Last Dance”?

    that amused me

    • cyto

      Since I watched that series my newsfeed has been filled with “former player mad at Jordan” stories.

  45. cyto

    https://www.politico.com/news/2020/05/20/warner-michael-flynn-271354

    “which picked up Flynn speaking with the former Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak during routine surveillance of foreign officials.”

    You know that phrase, asserted without evidence, that they keep using?

    I wonder why nobody is using that for things like “routine surveillance.” Or anything about Obama’s Russia collusion campaign?

    • Fatty Bolger

      Has the MSM even reported on Susan Rice’s CYA memo that points the finger right at Obama yet?

      • cyto

        I have seen two articles. Both say that it proves that Republicans are conspiracy theorists and that the entire investigation was completely Justified and done entirely by the book.

      • Rebel Scum

        It was done by the book, the Chicago playbook.

      • The Hyperbole

        Only if you count USA Today, Fox News, The Washington Times, The Hill, New York Post, The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, CNN,

      • Fatty Bolger

        Wow. It must be pretty damaging if they’ve all jumped on it already. Let me guess, the articles are all about how it’s really not as bad as it looks, everything was done by the book, ignore your lying eyes because Republicans pounced, etc.

      • The Hyperbole

        I didn’t read any of them just searched in google news and all those outlets had storys pop up.

      • leon

        Only if you count USA Today, Fox News, The Washington Times, The Hill, New York Post, The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, CNN,

        Fact Check: That is indeed more than 7.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    “Net, net, the states may be opening back up, but the labor market is still closed for millions across America and the loss of the income and spending of those without jobs will be a considerable headwind for this economic recovery,” said Chris Rupkey, chief financial economist at MUFG Union Bank.

    Get this man a Nobel prize.

    • cyto

      How could he have possibly figured that one out?

      Now explain how spending eight or 10 trillion dollars that you don’t have does not lead to economic ruin. That is A Treatise I’d like to hear. Fact, where is Krugman?

  47. Rebel Scum

    Oh, Kayleigh.

    Thankfully, President
    @realDonaldTrump
    is NOT listening to the fake Dr. Scarborough and instead consulted with a real medical doctor before taking hydroxychoroquine.

    Happy to report that the President continues to be in great health!

    • AlexinCT

      This will piss off a lot of those “tollerant” libs that pray multiple times a day to Gaia to kill evil orange man and make Shillary the queen.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Honey Badger faces down the useful idiots like a pro, though.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Attractive, well-spoken, and a troll…she might just be the perfect woman.

    • bacon-magic

      Would.

  48. straffinrun

    You make me sick. You’ll be hearing from me.

    Mika

    • Drake

      Thanks Karen.

      • straffinrun

        She’s completely delusional. At least Karen’s can call the cops. Mika is screaming her impotence on the airwaves.

  49. PieInTheSky

    The governor of Mississippi just read a list of 2020 HS graduates during virtual-graduation and someone slipped-in the name “Harry Azcrac” on him.

    https://twitter.com/RexChapman/status/1262868566753378304

    We don’t have good joke names in Romania

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nice…

    • AlexinCT

      They should have had Ho Lee Fuk in there considering the times….

      • AlexinCT

        That fucking thing was classic and shows you what sort of idiots man the news desks…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        +1 Ron Burgundy

      • Sensei

        Ron Burgundy is rather true to life.

    • straffinrun

      Roman Pitesti?

      • PieInTheSky

        huh?

      • straffinrun

        Nevermind. You were right.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    You don’t say

    In a new report Wednesday, infectious disease experts described US coronavirus testing as disorganized and in need of coordination at the national level.
    Testing is currently not accurate enough to be used to make most decisions on who should go back to work or to school, the team at the University of Minnesota said.
    “It’s a mess out there,” said Mike Osterholm, head of the university’s Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, which issued the report. “Testing is very, very important, but we’re not doing the right testing.”
    The number of tests that have been completed — numbers widely reported by states and by the White House — show only part of the picture, the report reads.
    “The data is really kind of screwed up,” Osterholm said. “It’s because the public health system is overwhelmed.”

    With all the money thrown at organizations ostensibly devoted to health care research, you’d think they might have some sort of methodology in place.

    President Cartoon Villain kept the CDC from doing their job.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Osterholm has been an idiot who has been pestering Minnesodans for decades about the danger of a new pandemic. He’s been banging away on the topic forever and it got so bad that he got bumped from his position at the Minnesoda Dept of Health years ago. He landed at the U of Mn – Duluth, where he continued warning us.

      It is sort of funny that now that the pandemic is finally here, it a) isn’t as dangerous as I’m sure he hoped it would be and b) he isn’t on top of the heap of experts helping to lead us all in dark times.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    You actually do use the stereotypical Asian speaking English accent to approximate the actual way English is used in Japanese. You keep waiting for the PC police to come an break down your door.

    If they haven’t come for you by now…

    • Sensei

      I’m already in trouble for cultural appropriation for simply learning the language.

    • commodious spittoon

      They’ll contrive some new tripwire in the next twenty minutes which will prove you’re an unreformed bigot, a genocidal monster, and a jerk.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I met my wife in Memphis. She went there to take an intensive English class before applying for grad school here.

        She chose Memphis because if she had gone to a school on the West or East coasts she could have gotten by speaking Korean (or Japanese) because of their large immigrant populations. In Memphis it was sink or swim. To be fair, it was probably harder than it should have been because of the gulf between the proper English she was learning in the classroom and the “English” she heard from normal Memphians (much less the hillbillies and Delta mush mouths).

      • Mojeaux

        In the vid they say he used the cowboy to try to fit in but I think he always WAS a cowboy and ended up where his people were.

      • Tejicano

        I think it has more to do with the way he was accepted by so many people when they heard how he learned not just English but how to speak like they speak – that bridges the cultural divide on a human level. People reacted like he was one of them, almost kin – which would have a deep echo in his own culture.

    • PieInTheSky

      I already did the thicc bit

  52. The Late P Brooks

    But wait- there’s more!

    If the US had encouraged people to stay home and had put social distancing policies in place just a week earlier, more than half the number of deaths and infections could possibly have been prevented, according to new research from Columbia University.
    Had the US locked the country down two weeks earlier, 84% of deaths and 82% of cases could have been averted, said the research team led by epidemiologist Jeffrey Shaman.
    “Our findings underscore the importance of early intervention and aggressive response in controlling the Covid-19 pandemic,” they wrote in the report, published online in the pre-print server MedRxiv. The findings have not been reviewed by other experts for accuracy.
    The first US case was reported at the end of January. It wasn’t until mid-March that the Trump administration urged Americans to avoid groups and limit travel. That’s also when cities including New York started to close schools. The study used epidemiologic modeling to gauge transmission rates from March 15 to May 3 and determine the impact social distancing could have on the transmission of the disease.

    From that same CNN link.

    According to our model, our model is correct. Whycome you no listen?

    • PieInTheSky

      The study used epidemiologic modeling to gauge transmission rates from March 15 to May 3 and determine the impact social distancing could have on the transmission of the disease.- good work if you can get it

      • R C Dean

        They apparently confuse “computer programs that wrap our pre-existing assumptions in fancy graphics” with “science”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Our computer models show that everybody would have received a pony and rainbows would fly out your asses if Trump had not been elected.

    • leon

      And if we had closed the borders to everyone in January we might have saved all American lives.

    • wdalasio

      Honestly, even if I thought the researchers were operating in good faith (that isn’t clear), I wouldn’t trust the media to report on it. Is there any rational reason to think that reporters, most of whom were the types that studiously avoided any sort of science or math in their education, might be considered remotely competent at asking probing questions of researchers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        None at all.

        On the flip side, I had to explain to a Physics major why they should take an English/writing course. You’re not going to get any good grants if you can’t communicate your ideas effectively.

      • wdalasio

        Well, that’s supposed to be the point of a liberal education. And, when it works, it’s a great idea. Unfortunately, in our era of education as indoctrination, most of academia thinks “liberal education” means “educating students to be liberals”.

      • kbolino

        That was actually the entire point of liberal arts. It’s just that the definition of liberal is ever changing.

    • Pat

      If only we had placed Beaver Dam Wisconsin on collective house arrest in February we surely could have saved thousands of lives in New York where over half the national deaths came from, and where Cuomo was at that time encouraging people to go visit Chinatown and calling Trump racist for restricting travel from China.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If we’d locked down in June of 2019 we could have avoided all of this. Herpity derpity doo.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If we had locked down on Nov 7, 2016 everything would be perfect now.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Their model seems to have the same problems as with modeling based on assumptions of when the first case was. My anecdotal experience was social distancing was already occurring well prior to official lockdowns. I was still traveling on work and I could see the hotel occupancy dropping. Hell, part of the driver for closing schools here was parents were keeping their kids at home anyways. Conversely, lockdowns before people perceived a risk would have been ignored.

    • invisible finger

      I’d bet 100% of reporters have no idea what the ’19’ in Covid-19 means.

      • R C Dean

        I thought it was 2019.

        *Bings*

        Yup.

      • Tejicano

        If asked I’d tell them that’s the number of centimeters their mom is getting from me.

        Mostly because that would make them try to imagine what that would be in inches.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if Trump will get credit for reducing the deficit by the largest amount in recorded history when it drops from 4 trillion back to 1 trillion next fiscal year too.

    Only in the context of criminally malicious austerity policies starving the masses.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Interesting gambit

    Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel (D) is imploring President Trump to adhere to health guidelines and wear a facial covering when he visits a Ford ventilator assembly plant in her state later this week.

    In an open letter sent to the president on Wednesday, Nessel noted that under Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer’s (D) stay-at-home order, manufacturers are required to suspend all non-essential visits, including tours. But Nessel said that both she and Whitmer agreed that Ford and the state’s autoworkers deserved to be showcased for the efforts they’ve made amid the coronavirus outbreak.

    “While my department will not act to prevent you from touring Ford’s plant, I ask that while you are on tour you respect the great efforts of the men and women at Ford – and across this State – by wearing a facial covering,” she wrote. “It is not just the policy of Ford, by virtue of the Governor’s Executive Orders, it is currently the law of this State.”

    Fuck it. Send a bunch of State Troopers to arrest the motherfucker. Don’t forget the SWAT team.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      Send a bunch of State Troopers to arrest the motherfucker inspect the dams.

    • wdalasio

      by virtue of the Governor’s Executive Orders, it is currently the law of this State.

      L’Etat c’est sa?

      Seriously, how the hell have we gotten to the point where an executive’s orders are law. And if we’re to buy that, can we assume that Trump can declare the MI AG or Governor annoying him is a capital offense?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’re toast.

      • UnCivilServant

        At least we’re not avocado toast.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just because you and Suthen are depraved bastards who hate avocados doesn’t mean it’s cool to spread your filth here.

      • Pat

        I love avocados, but I think putting it on toast is a waste of a good avocado.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well…not a total waste as long as you don’t forget bacon, tomato and lettuce…and another slice of toast

      • commodious spittoon

        The trick is to pay $8 for it.

      • Hyperion

        “avocado toast.”

        Yummy, but we can do even better, avacado toast with soap weed for the win!

    • leon

      “It is not just the policy of Ford, by virtue of the Governor’s Executive Orders, it is currently the law of this State.”

      I think Michigan also allows the governor to summarily execute anyone in the city limits of Lansing during an emergency declaration.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    Nessel told The Hill in a phone interview that it would send a “terrible message” if Trump flouted requirements and did not wear a mask during his visit to the Ford plant.

    “I’m afraid that our state residents will see that and say, ‘If Trump doesn’t have to wear a mask when he’s in a manufacturing facility, why should I have to?’ It is very difficult to enforce the rules when you have a president who is flouting them,” she said.

    Ja vohl, Karen.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    DEPRAVED INDIFFERENCE!

    The Illinois state House reportedly voted to remove a Republican lawmaker from a legislative session Wednesday after he refused to comply with a requirement for lawmakers to wear a mask during the special session.

    The state House voted 81-27 to remove Rep. Darren Bailey after he refused to put a face mask on following the chamber voting to adopt the rule, NBC Chicago reported.

    “I can not sit in there and be part of just a puppet game,” Bailey told reporters after he was removed from the session.

    Gov. JB Pritzker (D) rebuked Bailey for not wearing a mask.

    “The representative has shown a callous disregard for life, callous disregard for people’s health,” Pritzker reportedly said. “You just [ask] a doctor [to] tell you why people wear masks in the first place. It’s to protect others. So clearly, the representative has no interest in protecting others.”

    The vote was bipartisan, with several House Republicans voting in favor of removing their colleague.

    “We cannot ignore nor compromise the health and safety of every member in the General Assembly, their family members, and every one of our staffers who work tirelessly for us,” House Republican Leader Jim Durkin said, according to NBC Chicago.

    We are doomed, as a free society.

    • Pat

      He should have returned to the chamber wearing a mask, but otherwise completely nude, and demanded to be readmitted.

    • leon

      They can’t meet virtually?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Look, if you refuse to wear a mask you may as well be drowning your grandma in the bathtub.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Are you saying I shouldn’t have drowned my grandma in the bathtub?

      • UnCivilServant

        You should have used a natural body of water, you Monster!

    • Viking1865

      Did they drag him out, or did he walk out?

    • wdalasio

      Given that Pritzker has sent his family on vacation to Florida and Wisconsin throughout all this, you’d think anyone with an ounce of shame would be more reticent.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m sure his family wore masks during their treks to the various vacation homes. They aren’t monsters!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He should have responded by telling Pritzker to lose a few pounds stone.

    • PieInTheSky

      i dont get the anti mask thing. I wear one it is slightly uncomfortable and fogs up my glasses but meh

      • UnCivilServant

        I prefer to breathe.

        I don’t want to be told what to do.

        The actual risk is nil.

      • PieInTheSky

        I don’t want to be told what to do. – and yet you are not a lbertarian so you do want to tell others what to do.

      • UnCivilServant

        And?

        I’m a monarchist provided I’m the monarch.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s become a political issue here in USA. It has little to do with it’s efficacy or comfort, it’s all signalling.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        i dont get the anti mask thing.

        Its like….don’t tell me what to do, man.

      • Viking1865

        It’s like the seatbelt or helmet laws. It’s fucking nanny state bullshit.

      • Pat

        Well fuck me.

      • Pat

        See also: seatbelts, bicycle helmets. It’s your god given right to subject yourself to whatever risks you choose. And the “it’s to protect others!” bullshit is weak tea. If they’re concerned they can wear a mask and carry on with the pretense that they’re mitigating their risk.

      • invisible finger

        I don’t get the mandatory mask thing. There is no scientific proof that a mask has any effect on preventing the spread of viruses.

      • Ownbestenemy

        But hamsters! They hamster study said otherwise

      • grrizzly

        THIS

      • invisible finger

        I should add that the N95 mask does have scientific proof of effectiveness behind it. I’ve seen maybe 3 people wearing one, two of them were walking around Target with scrubs on.

      • grrizzly

        Not only there’s no scientific evidence that face masks prevent spreading influenza-like infections but I no longer believe in the social distancing dogma all together. We (healthy people outside of nursing homes) would have been better off living our lives as we always did. That includes spreading the coronavirus to each other because it’s not very dangerous but builds up immunity and eventually leads to herd immunity.

      • invisible finger

        Only the government can create herd immunity.

        /karen

      • Agent Cooper

        I’ll wear one because it’s literally the least I can do.

    • R C Dean

      Driving in today, I saw a guy on a motorcycle. No helmet, but he was masked up.

      With a full-on gimp mask. Leather, covered his whole head, looked like it had some kind of tinted lenses over the eyes, and had punched rivets over the mouth for air.

      I about drove off the road laughing. Unfortunately, I was in motion, so no photo opp.

      • invisible finger

        I would like to see someone with a mask like Ken Mars’s getup on Fernwood2Night.

    • Rebel Scum

      the representative has no interest in protecting others.

      That is not his or your job.

  57. RBS

    “So take off your scrubs.”

    But then how will everyone know to thank her for her service?

    • Pope Jimbo
      • Mojeaux

        Knew it! Love that song.

      • Rhywun

        I like the message.

      • Mojeaux

        Same.

  58. Rebel Scum

    You may go to the beach, children. But do not dare do beach things.

    “I think if another community wants to open and they have the opportunity to submit their plan for the governor to review and I’m sure he will take it in strong consideration,” said Williams. “We [the city] impressed upon him that we were taking it seriously and that we had the ability and the resources in order to manage it.”

    Some recreational activities will be allowed in time for Memorial Day Weekend. It follows a period of “exercise-only” access.

    However, he said if people ignore the rules of this phased reopening, the state government could roll back beach allowances.

    “If people swarm these beaches and ignore social distancing rules, or the regulations the city has put into place, I will not hesitate to reinstate Phase One restrictions, or even close the beach outright if necessary.”

    He said his message to beachgoers was simple: “You must be responsible.”

    • Pope Jimbo

      Easy for Gov. Northham to close beaches, he doesn’t need to work on his tan.

    • Rebel Scum

      Here’s what’s allowed:

      Sunbathing
      Swimming
      Fishing
      Surfing

      Here’s what’s not allowed:

      Group sports (volleyball, football, frisbee, etc.)
      Alcohol
      Music Speakers
      Large Coolers
      Tents
      Groups of umbrellas

      At some point we need to ignore these tyrants.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m all for banning those huge frisbee mobs!

        Seriously, frisbee?

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s banning beachy activities he doesn’t like.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Exactly. I’m surprised the illegal list didn’t have:

        Any one who’s name doesn’t rhyme with Don Silliams

      • Apples and Knives

        John Williams was also known for helping clear out the beaches.

      • Drake

        I’ll wager that point will be this weekend on the beach.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Large Coolers

        There’s probably a sixteen page regulation being drawn up as to what constitutes a large cooler versus a small or medium size.

      • Viking1865

        “Music Speakers”

        I really really want to hear the rationale behind this.

        See, if we actually had a Speak Truth to Power mainstream media, a reporter would demand the Governor explain exactly how music spreads the coronavirus. His bumbling idiotic “I”M A DOCTOR THOUGH PEASANT” response would be endlessly mocked by every network.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well see… the mutated Vid has shown in data models the ability to ride on the carrier frquency up to, but not limited to, eleventy billion feet.

        Next question.

      • Plinker762

        He hates rappers?

      • Agent Cooper

        Sounds rayciss to me. but that’s Guvnah Blackface for ya.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      could roll back beach allowances

      And if we don’t do our chores, dad won’t let us use the car this weekend.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So your closure and rules are rooted not in Science!, but in vindictive petty totalitarianism. At least it was all laid out for the citizens to see that.

    • Pat

      Well shit. Now where am I going to get my lacy underthings?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Goodwill. Make sure you wash them first though.

    • The Other Kevin

      Uh oh, that’s cutting it a bit close to the Karens.

    • Agent Cooper

      They was in troubles before the Covid. Too rigid of a business model, and unimaginative marketing.

  59. Mojeaux

    In doing a pre-move task, I thought about that time I hung a door without attached jamb. I built the jamb the hung the door. I plumbed, leveled, squared, and trued that fucker to within a micron of its life. It was possibly the hardest physical work I have ever done aside from childbirth. This is what I want said at my funeral and engraved on my tombstone: She hung a door from scratch.

    • Tejicano

      In our current abode, the 3rd floor of the building we purchased and then renovated for our use, there is a double door between the entry and main living space. That door and most of the other interior doors were custom ordered from a shop in Santa Fe then shipped here. The double door is two inches thick, carved, and somewhat ornate. The jamb for that door was spec’ed for a rough opening torn through concrete. To set the jamb in the opening I first festooned the outer surfaces of the jamb with a few dozen wood screws – mostly protruding and inch to an inch and a half. Then I put the jamb in place – plumbed, leveled, and measured exactly for the width of the doors – in the rough, concrete opening with a few wedges. I then filled the gap between the rough, concrete opening and the jamb with wet concrete, troweled smooth to the face of the walls, with all the protruding screws encased in the concrete.

      Fifteen plus years later and those doors hang true, still requiring just that slight additional push in closing them to overcome air pressure as they seal perfectly on all sides.

      • Mojeaux

        Niiiiiice. I tip my hat to you, sir.

      • Tejicano

        Ma’am, my reply was just trying to express my appreciation for the feeling of “hanging” a door. Many people have never done it but it is very satisfying when done well. I know how you feel every time you close that door and experience the result of your effort.

      • Mojeaux

        Many people have never done it but it is very satisfying when done well.

        It truly cannot be appreciated unless done. I had some cheerleaders on Twitter who knew.

        But before I did that, I had already built my kid a closet and expanded her room (and already hung one door, but while I still had to mess with it, the jamb was intact), so I thought, “How hard can it be?”

        *headdesk*

        Initially, it was too big for the jamb. I had to trim 1/4″ off the side, which meant I had to chisel out new hinge recesses, too. It’s a perfect fit, though. #TWSS

      • KSuellington

        I have hung a few doors, it is indeed a tricky job. One of those things that seems like it would not be that difficult but actually is.

    • Agent Cooper

      My wife tiled our kitchen backsplash while I was in LA shooting a commercial years ago. All by herself. It looks awesome.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    Are you saying I shouldn’t have drowned my grandma in the bathtub?

    To be sure, there are some who might consider this a suboptimal course of action…

    • AlexinCT

      Depends on the grandpa?

      See what I did there?

  61. The Late P Brooks

    This is what I want said at my funeral and engraved on my tombstone: She hung a door from scratch.

    What I want on my tombstone is, “I was waiting for the funny part.”

    *from A Thousand Clowns, which is an excellent movie I should watch again

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      +1 Murray Fishbein

    • Ownbestenemy

      While I have a comfortable amount of meats in the deep freezer, me thinks I should head in and get some more today.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was listening to the commodity news on Rural Radio and the meat processing capacity is much closer to normal than it was a week or two ago. Still have a long back log to work through, but trend is better than than it was. And pork prices haven’t risen as much as beef has.

    • Rhywun

      My supermarket has signs up explaining the new prices (double or more) are due to “delivery issues”, not “shortages”.

      Uh… OK?

      • Raven Nation

        Maybe running more (and smaller) trucks in order to cope with demand?

    • KSuellington

      I stocked up on New York’s and ribeyes a few weeks back when the price was 5.99 a lb. I see they have put them on sale again so I’m planning a trip tomorrow to the local chain grocery. The price on ground beef is now about the same as choice steaks, guess I’ll eat more steaks than burgers, no problem.

  62. Idle Hands

    I honestly never realized just how depraved and malevelent these fucking politicians were. I don’t even no what else to say at this point. I’m a complete anarchist now. I just don’t understand the approval ratings for Michigans gov it defies everything I thought I knew about this country.

    • Idle Hands

      Same with the media. I just didn’t understand the depth of it till now. Just totally and utterly shameless and depraved. Totally evil and immoral organizations there’s nothing else to say.

    • leon

      Thaddeus Russel was on Tom Woods, the other day, and pointed out that what we are seeing is the big difference of “people who value secuirty” vs “people who value freedom”. I don’t generally think it is that simple, but i don’t think that the vast majority of people actually have well cemented opinions. What they have is a “default” to believing the government is competent and that if they say something is dangerous, then they must have some reason to be worried. Throw in that you had a legit panic and it’s not surprising that so many people are willing to say “I think my governor has done the right thing”.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        “people who value secuirty” vs “people who value freedom”. I don’t generally think it is that simple, but i don’t think that the vast majority of people actually have well cemented opinions

        I think it’s a useful description; it’s good enough for me to observe that more people behave as if they feel a stronger need for security over freedom because that’s the gist of the situation: feeling and acting, not philosophizing or sciencing. If I were murdered by a stampede of elephants, I would be no less dead that none of the elephants had defended graduate theses in politics, economics, or sociology.

      • Idle Hands

        I don’t know how you can look at the last two months and think we need these institutions at all. They’ve literally done nothing but make things worse at every fucking level.

    • creech

      Maybe it’s time for Atlas to shrug, or Sisyphus to stop trying to roll that ball of liberty back up hill? Apres moi, le deluge?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just like any other “crisis” we get to know our politicians a little bit better.

      • Idle Hands

        I don’t understand how you could live with yourself everyday knowing you did absolutely nothing and in fact more than likely made things worse and still maintain the facade and rule like a petty tyrant. It’s just disgusting.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      complete anarchist

      That’s rational. It makes more sense to dismiss the legitimacy of the rulers than picking sides betwixt the rulers.

    • Tejicano

      So you think Cuomo might have been hoping to spike the body count by sending infected people back to the nursing homes?

  63. Raven Nation

    I’m not sure I have a problem with Venezuela asking for some of its gold. Yeah, there are sanctions, but the gold belongs to the Venezuelan government.

    • leon

      I’m pretty meh on the whole thing. There’s a whole rabbit hole of “Who wronged whom” we could go down. Should the companies that had their resources nationalized be able to claim the gold as restitution for their property being stolen?

  64. The Late P Brooks

    My supermarket has signs up explaining the new prices (double or more) are due to “delivery issues”, not “shortages”.

    Not price gouging, though. Definitely not price gouging. Please don’t report us to the governor.

  65. Mojeaux

    Regarding the zinc discussion above: Zinc can destroy your olfactory sense. If you think that’s an easy sense to not have, think again. It will drive you mad.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yep, stay away from Zycam if they even still sell that stuff. Pills work just fine even if they can make you a little nauseous.

    • commodious spittoon

      Oh, and the party of postnatal abortion having a laissez faire attitude toward boiling babies is… unsurprising.

    • leon

      I would vote for Joe Biden even if i believed Tara Reade’s account. Fortunately, I don’t have to sacrifice morality to political necessity

      1st: I think you already have.
      2nd: Granting your shallow view of morality, it is easy to then never have to sacrifice morality if you define everything your guy does as moral and ignore anything else.